Paris Hilton was seen out wearing a large, completely unsubtle ring on her left ring finger with the initials “BM,” which was thought to be for her new boyfriend, Benji Madden.

There is of course speculation that she’s engaged. It looks more like a giant token of Madden’s love, like something an eighth grade girl would wear on a big chain around her neck, having convinced her boyfriend to buy it for her during a planned detour to the jewelry department of the local JcPenney. Paris also has a necklace with a big “B” on it, but that wasn’t getting the press coverage so was looking for so she switched to a ring.

I was so hoping that these two were parading around in public as part of Ashton Kutcher’s new reality show, but if that’s the case it wasn’t revealed in the first episode last night.

Paris wore the lovely sparkler to the opening of the Kim Vo Salon at the Mirage resort on Friday. She frequently held her hands up to her face, laughing giddily, curtains of spit visible in her open mouth. At one point she even held her cellphone with both hands so the photographers wouldn’t miss yet another shot of the ring. When asked if the ring meant that she was engaged, she said “It means exactly what it means.”

There’s something else that BM can stand for, and given how skinny Paris is she might need a constant reminder to go. I’ve heard that adderall can really block you up. And I hope that’s the case for Paris, because that dress is clinging to her and she’s got some sort of bump going on. Please don’t let her be pregnant.