After yesterday’s horrific display from Katie Holmes in the unfortunate skirt/fug booties combo department, I’m almost grateful to return to recycling a photo from Katie’s recent walk of depression and broken promises, which goes right along with a new story from the Enquirer, which isn’t so much Katie’s actual reaction to Tom Cruise’s latest rock star antics on the cover of W magazine but how certain “sources” imagine that she’ll feel after seeing her husband frolicking with two busty blondes, one of whom feigns reaching down Tom’s pants. Pretend for a moment that you are Katie gazing upon this image.

If nothing else, this story is a wonderful exercise in anti-Xenu fan fiction because it paints Katie as a jealous, spurned wife when nowhere in reality, fantasy, or contractual existence has Tom ever preferred a “busty blonde” as his “type.” Actually, I’m not sure what his type is, for it’s impossible to draw any significant parallels between Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, and Katie. But busty blondes? Forget about it. Tom is not interested, and he definitely didn’t get a boner when one one of the blondes let a boob slip out during the implied beej part of the shoot.

Still, this Enquirer story is almost worth it for the giggle factor involved in Katie’s fictionalized reaction and the made-up quotes about the supposed crush that one of the blondes has on Tom. Bitch, please.

They are the photos that will drive Katie Holmes wild with jealousy and tear the couple apart — hunky, tattooed Tom Cruise stripped to the waist and lying in bed flanked by two busty blonde models, one topless and nuzzling his naked chest!

In a bombshell world exclusive, The ENQUIRER has learned the 49-year-old actor’s controversial pictorial in the June issue of the fashion magazine W is sure to provoke a bitter battle with his 33-year-old wife.

It will make no difference to Katie that the photos are a promotion for Tom’s upcoming fim Rock of Ages, say sources. The pictures are ultra-steamy, the models are ultra-hot, and she’s been stuck alone in New York caring for daughter Suri as Tom films movie after movie.

“Katie will be devastated by the erotic and explicit nature of the pictures,” said a close source. “And how can she not be terrified Suri will eventually see them? It’s certain to spark a shocking blowup between them!”

Cruise is featured on the cover of the magazine and on an inside spread as his movie character — fading heavy metal rock legend Stacee Jaxx. He posed in hot guitar hero mode — sporting hair extensions and makeup while chugging down on a whiskey bottle. There is a fake fire-breathing dragon tattoo on his chest and another of two guns down by his belt.

[From Enquirer, print edition, June 9, 2012]

I know that a few of you actually liked Tom’s catatonic stare in the W mag photo shoot, but no one went so far as to describe it as an “ultra-steamy” set of photos, right? Tom is just so asexual and anticeptic that the idea that he’s even vaguely erotic in these photos is rather hilarious, and I don’t think Katie would actually ever be jealous of him rolling around with a couple of blondes when it merely means that Tom’s working to keep her shopping budget intact.

The Enquirer has a lot of fun with this story though and elaborates about how model Abbey Lee Kershaw delighted in rubbing up against Tom’s “impossibly ripped abs while trailing her fingers seductively into his leather pants” and, in another shot, Abbey Lee “thrusts her breasts against his bare torso and nuzzles his chest” while the other model (Edita Vilkeviciute) “places a bottle of Jack Daniel’s on his crotch.” The Enquirer also talks to marriage “experts” who describe Katie’s alleged furious reaction as “understandable” and that further alleged humiliation will follow since W is a fashion bible, and Katie will “feel as if she’s been made the laughingstock of the fashion world” while she’s struggling to launch the Holmes & Yang line. If anything, Katie should be even more embarrassed by her busted clothes than by her ridiculous husband. Let’s be realistic though — she probably doesn’t care at all about Tom dispassionately staring off into the distance while two blondes make pawing motions for the camera.

Even more amusing is the Enquirer’s description of how Abbey Lee supposedly has the hots for Tom (and his stomach) now after their not-sexy shoot: “Word has gotten around the modeling industry that Abbey thought the shoot with Tom was one of the hottest she’s ever done” because “she said that she couldn’t get over Tom’s ripped chest.” LOL.

Meanwhile, Bret Michaels is convinced that Tom has modelled his very serious Stacee Jaxx after him. Here’s a tiny story from this week’s In Touch:

Bret Michaels had some serious deja vu upon seeing Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx in the movie musical Rock of Ages (out on June 15). “Tom’s cowboy hat, bandanna, tattoos, energy and Rock of Love backstage style are pure Bret with a mix of Axl Rose!” the Poison front man tells In Touch. It’s no coincidence, as Tom got a few lessons from Bret himself. “We hung out on the set in Miami and spent time looking at footage of my stage show from Tampa,” he explains. Already a fan, he’s now a Tom groupie. “Even though the part is over-the-top, he took getting it right seriously — he has rock-star intensity,” Bret gushes. “He’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever met!”

[From In Touch, print edition, June 9, 2012]

Really? I don’t see Bret in Tom’s version of Stacee Jaxx. If anything, I’m mostly seeing a Jon Bon Jovi/Richie Sambora thing going on. With some really gross abs and a very serious attitude. Because Tom’s a cowboy. On a steel horse he rides.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and W magazine

Bret Michaels is suing the Tony Awards for a 2009 injury he suffered when a set piece descended on his head after his performance. (Video of that is below.) About ten months after that incident he had a life threatening subarachnoid brain hemorrhage, which he’s described as feeling like a gunshot to the head and like his “brain exploded.” Bret’s lawyer says they’re suing in part because producers played off the incident and blamed Bret for it, when it was actually their fault. It also sounds like the parties tried to settle and couldn’t reach an agreement on a dollar amount.

Bret Michaels filed a lawsuit Friday in Los Angeles Superior Court against the network and the Awards, stemming from his on-stage injury during a Rock of Ages-inspired performance at the 2009 Tony Awards. In the suit, Michaels claims he asked producers whether there were any instructions as to where he should stand on the stage during his performance, but was only told to “simply exit the stage from the rear.” After singing “Nothin’ But a Good Time” — one of the songs used in Broadway’s Rock of Ages — the Poison rocker was hit by a piece of stage scenery. (Michaels had to check into the hospital for X-rays and stitches after suffering a broken nose and cut lip.) Says the suit, “Michaels was never told that the scenery piece would be descending or given any warning of the existence of the dangers it presented. Quite the opposite, Michaels specifically asked for instructions regarding how to exit after his performance and was just told to walk off the rear of the stage — in what was ultimately the danger zone.”

In the suit, Michaels, who is seeking unspecified damages, also claims the producers faulted him for the mix-up, telling press that he had “missed his mark.” The suit also connects the Tonys injury with Michaels’ well-publicized subarachnoid hemorrhage, which proved to be nearly fatal for the musician. “One of the most common causes of this type of hemorrhage is head trauma — exactly like the one Michaels suffered at the hands of the Tony Awards.” CBS is not commenting on the suit; the Tonys have yet to respond to EW’s request for comment. (UPDATE: Michaels’ lawyer, Alex Weingarten, issued the following statement to press regarding the suit: “The Tony Awards dropped a piece of the stage on Bret’s head, and then instead of doing the right thing, joked about it and played it off for ratings … Bret never wanted to file a lawsuit, but the Tony Awards have left us with no choice. They must be held accountable for almost killing Bret, and that is what we are going to do.”)

[From EW.com]

I don’t blame Bret for suing over this, especially after he had a brain hemorrhage that could have easily killed him or left him permanently disabled. (From what I understand, it’s unclear what caused Michaels’ brain hemorrhage, but they’re often preceded by head injuries.) He’s doing fine now, but it was touch and go for him for a long time.

Here’s Bret on Piers Morgan earlier this month describing what he was doing when he had his hemorrhage – he was watching Busty Cops 3! He jokes about it here but I saw the rest of the interview and he went through hell both with the immediate hemorage and in the tough recovery period. At one point he thought he was saying goodbye to his daughters and that they would have to grow up without him. (Here’s a link to the transcript of that.)

Here’s video of what happened to Bret at the Tonys in 2009. It looks brutal.

Bret Michaels and his plastic fiance, Kristi Gibson, are shown on 3/19/11. They look like wax figures! Credit: Nector Marmolejos/WENN.com

All you gals out there who have been waiting 15 or more years for your tomcatting boyfriend to propose, take heart. All the incentive he needs to walk down the aisle is a brush with death and a popular reality show to propose on.

King tomcatter Bret Michaels proposed to his girlfriend and mother of his children, Kristi Gibson, on Monday’s episode of Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It.

Bret has had one heck of a year. He had several medical emergencies, yet still went on tour, was implicated in the breakup of Billy Ray Cyrus’s marriage and won The Celebrity Apprentice. Now he’s ready to get married, eventually.

The rocker had been thinking about proposing but couldn’t seem to find the right moment. It seemed like everyone was geared up for it to happen at the anniversary dinner the night before at Mastro’s, but Michaels, 47, felt like there were too many waiters and other patrons milling around.

“I wasn’t ready there because I felt really strange,” he says. “It would’ve been like, I’m in the middle of proposing and oh, by the way, there’s a Cobb salad coming.”

The real moment, filmed a couple weeks ago, came spontaneously instead, in the middle of a heart-to-heart with Gibson on the balcony of their Arizona home, says Michaels.

“In my mind, it wasn’t supposed to happen like that – I wanted it to be a little more like the movies, where the white horse gallops up and all that stuff,” he says. “But when Kristi said, ‘I don’t need this ring, I don’t need the piece of paper, I love you no matter what,’ she took the pressure off.”

“She used reverse psychology on me,” Michaels says, “and it worked!”

“After that, I was so in the moment, I didn’t feel like there was anyone around us,” says Michaels, who laughs at how their daughters Jorja, 5, and Raine, 10, responded when they heard the news.

Says the rocker: “They were like, ‘What? Who? What’s going on?’”

Gibson is elated, too.

“I love him for him,” says Gibson, who turns 40 Dec. 25. “I’ve been through everything with him. A ring and a paper wouldn’t make me love him more. I’m just happy he’s alive.”

“But this is the best birthday and Christmas present ever,” she says. “We’ll be virgins stepping into the whole engagement and marriage thing. And with our girls growing up, we’ll all have the same last name.”

[People.com]

People magazine named Bret the Ultimate Survivor.

Q: After recovering from a brain hemorrhage in April, what’s the main life-lesson you’ve learned?

A: Enjoy the moments you have left. Do what rocks your world….I don’t want my legacy to be a hemorrhage. I want it to be: I’m a fighter. I’m passionate, I’m hardworking, and I love music.

Q: Have you had any false alarms where you thought you were having another hemorrhage?

A: Yes, I’ve had two severe headaches where I thought I was, but I wasn’t. The doctors told me it’s to be expected.

Q: Is there anything you still can’t do?

A: I’m only 85 percent back, so I can’t kickbox. I have short-term memory loss, so I have to repeat things to myself over and over. And I haven’t had a good night sleep’s since. My goal next year is to rock harder and sleep more!

[People, print edition, December 27, 2010]

The accompanying picture is of a shirtless Bret surrounded by four nurses/strippers. Why would a girl wait 15 years to marry this guy?

I saw Poison on tour way back when they were on the way out, in the early 90s. Bret is an engaging performer, if I recall correctly. Warrant was the opening act. I guess Bret deserves credit for finding a way to make himself relevant 20 years later when most of the other hair band members are probably bald overweight real estate agents.

Bret’s next reality show is called Bret Michaels: Love Guru, where he’ll give out relationship advice (seriously). He still has bus parties to let fans have a nothin’ but a good time, although he says he’s stopped drinking alcohol. And for the true fan, there’s the Bret Michaels Super Cruise to Cozumel.

Bret Michaels, Kristi Gibson and their two daughters are shown on 7/13/10. Credit: Fame Pictures. They are also shown on 7/12 outside the Late Show. Credit: WENN

Bret Michaels was on Fox & Friends yesterday to promote his new VH1 reality show, Life As I Know It. One of the first questions he was asked was whether he was having an affair with Tish Cyrus, Miley’s mom. Miley’s parents Billy Ray and Tish just filed for divorce last month after 17 years of marriage. There were rumors earlier this year that Bret had an affair with Tish around the time that he released a duet with Miley in February. He denied those rumors through his rep at the time, and on Fox & Friends Bret made it clear that he was “just friends” with Miley’s mom.

Don’t blame Bret Michaels.

The rocker denied rumors that he had an affair with Miley Cyrus’s mother, Tish, who last month split from Billy Ray Cyrus after 17 years of marriage.

When asked on Fox & Friends if he’d had an affair with Tish, Michaels replied, “The answer is no.”

“I’ve been friends with her family forever,” Michaels added. “It started out with me and Miley simply working on a song together. Her mom, Tish, likes “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” the first concert Miley ever saw was Poison, and so they wanted to remake it for the new record.”

Reports surfaced last week that the Poison frontman was the possible cause behind the Cyrus divorce. Last month, Billy Ray filed divorce papers in Tennessee citing irreconcilable differences.

Michaels insists his involvement with the Cyrus family has been strictly professional. “When I was in the studio, Miley came in and sang on my song … and that was it,” he said.

As for how Miley’s taking her parents’ divorce? A source close to the singer told PEOPLE last week, “she’s trying to keep everything private while her family works through this.”

[From People]

I didn’t find Michaels’ denial all that convincing because he went on at length about how he knew the Cyruses. It felt like he was deflecting from the question, but maybe he thought that background was needed for context. I get the vibe that something happened but that Tish told Bret that her marriage was already over or something like that. Michaels seems like a man slut with some small amount of integrity (although I’m sure my opinion would change if I watched any of his dating shows), but it’s not like he’s going to say “yes, I did fool around with Tish a few times. I thought she was separated.” He sort-of denied it, and then he swiftly moved on.

If this sounds like an old story, it totally is. Star Magazine reported this junk back in February! According to Us Weekly, Tish Finley-Cyrus (Miley’s mom) boned Bret Michaels several months ago, in addition to having one other affair. When Billy Ray Cyrus found out about Tish’s two affairs, he decided to file for divorce. What’s worse is that it doesn’t seem like a one-time thing between Tish and Bret – it sounds like they had a full-fledged affair that lasted longer than a zip, you know? Hot damn, y’all!

The reason Miley Cyrus’ parents are splitting after 17 years of marriage: Mom Tish had an affair with rocker Bret Michaels, reports the new Us Weekly (on newsstands Wednesday).

When Billy Ray learned of it – as well as at least one other fling – he filed for divorce Oct. 27, sources tell Us Weekly.

Michaels, 47, “became close to the entire family” this past February when he and Miley released the racy duet “Nothing to Lose,” an insider tells Us Weekly.

He and Tish, 43, soon began carrying on an on-the-sly romance, sources tell Us Weekly. Tish was seen at Michaels’ Feb. 28 show at the Key Club in L.A., and he had once asked her production company’s help to adapt his book, Roses & Thorns, into a movie.

“Billy Ray was completely unaware of what was going on,” the source says of the “Achy Breaky Heart” crooner, who is seeking joint custody of their three minor children, Miley (who turns 18 Nov. 23), Braison, 16, and Noah, 10. (They have three older children from previous relationships.)

Though a rep for Michaels refutes the allegations, telling Us Weekly, “There has never been an affair or a fling,” and a rep for Tish also denies the dalliance, the Cyrus source insists, “It was a professional relationship that turned into something more.”

For more – including how a “devastated” Billy Ray learned of the affair; why a “hurt” Tish is trying to save the marriage and how Miley is coping with her parents’ pending divorce – pick up the new Us Weekly Wednesday!

[From Us Weekly]

None of this would surprise me. I think Tish probably was screwing around with whomever. Back in February, the report was very similar to this – Star’s sources claimed that after Bret and Miley recorded their song, Tish kept on coming back to Bret’s recording studio. Now – my guess is that The Mullet was screwing around as well. The Cyrus clan likes to get their freak on, I can just feel it. I’ll leave you with that image.

A lot of us were like “yeah, right” when we saw Bret Michaels’ cartoonish heavily-bronzed semi-nude Billboard cover. His abs were standing out in high definition and it looked like an obvious case of heavy handed Photoshop. Michaels tried to address some of the suspicion by claiming that he didn’t eat for a day and did about 2,000 sit ups ahead of the shoot. Now the Billboard editorial team has offered evidence that say proves that Michaels has just as impressive a six pack as they show on the cover. They’re comparing supposedly unretouched, hightly-lit photos of Bret with the resulting cover and the dude is almost as buff as he’s shown! I think they still airbrushed some abs on him using contouring makeup ahead of the shoot, but there’s no faking that flat stomach. Here’s Billboard’s story:

porting well-toned biceps and a six-pack, Bret Michaels’ naked appearance on the cover of Billboard’s Oct. 2 “Maximum Exposure” issue has been followed by claims from New York Magazine, D-Listed and other publications that the picture was heavily retouched.
Photographer Blair Bunting, who shot Michaels’ cover, says he was not shocked by the accusations, but assures skeptics that the Poison singer’s chiseled abs are wholly authentic.

“When he took off his shirt, I was like, ‘This guy’s in shape for 47!’” says Bunting, who made his Billboard cover debut with the photo. “It’s always easy for someone to cry ‘Photoshop,’ so I wasn’t too surprised by that…but he takes his shape seriously.”

Michaels has said that working out while on tour last summer has kept him in great shape. Prior to the photo shoot, “I didn’t eat for a day and I did about 2,000 sit-ups,” the singer told E! Online.

According to Billboard photo editor Amelia Halverson, “a few versions of the cover” were initially made that Photoshopped Michaels’ body too heavily. “They looked too unreal, mostly because there was so much detail due to the photographer’s high-definition style of lighting,” says Halverson. “The final cover version shows Bret’s real muscles.” In addition to making his abs appear symmetrical, Bunting bronzed Michaels’ color and smoothed out his skin to eliminate a few of the singer’s wrinkles.

“It was a pretty standard retouching for him compared to anybody else,” says Bunting. “I just don’t know if he’s more controversial, or if it’s just more of a shocker that he took everything off and happens to have a nice body.”

[From Billboard via Radar Online]

I love how Billboard links D-Listed! Bret looks amazing at 47, especially considering that he had a massive brain hemorrhage and a stroke just this year! He still has to have an operation in January to repair a hole in his heart, which the doctors found while checking him out for his other medical issues. Bret admits he’s somewhat scared of that, and says “When they’re going through your body to operate on your heart, it’s going to hit you somewhere that they’re toying with the ticker. There’s definitely a little fear in there somewhere.” He’s trying to remain positive, though and says “I’m going in there [to surgery] thinking… that it’s going to be great and I’m going to feel a whole lot better.” He certainly looks to be in top shape and very good health.

All photos credit Blair Bunting and from Billboard.com

Is this Bret Michaels’ real body? Um…what? NO. I’ll buy that he’s in good shape – but they stuck that bandana-toupee on a Chippendale’s body. He’s such a cheeseball! And yet… it’s all kinds of right. I know I’m all kinds of wrong for loving Bret Michaels, but the haters can suck it. He seems like a really nice guy! And like he’d be fun to hang out with. I wouldn’t hit it, but I would want to chill out with him and chat. Which is what happened during the Billboard Q&A – Bret just sat around saying cool stuff, like “Poison has continued to tour throughout our 25 years, give or take a few years off for drug rehab and fistfights” and “You’re either aging or you’re dead. So I’m embracing it.” Here’s more:

Every year, Billboard polls music industry experts to compile our Maximum Exposure list: the top 100 ways that bands, singers and rappers can get their music seen and heard, from rocking big awards shows to getting good love from iTunes. This week’s Billboard cover star Bret Michaels, who’s got a hot new VH1 show ‘Life As I Know It,’ landed at No. 30 on our list as the prime example of how starring in a cable TV reality show is one of the best ways for a musician to attain maximum exposure. In this Q&A, Michaels talks about just how TV has been good to him.

How would you say your career was going when you decided to do your VH1 reality dating show, “Rock of Love”?
I thought it was going great, actually. Poison has continued to tour throughout our 25 years, give or take a few years off for drug rehab and fistfights. I was starting work on my first real solo album, and I’d finished being a judge on season three of “Nashville Star,” which ended up as their highest-rated season.

Were you actively looking to get into TV at that point?
No doubt. I don’t bury my head in the sand about anything. I’m not the new kid on the block anymore. Writers always use the phrase “aging rocker,” and I’m like, “What other option do I have?” You’re either aging or you’re dead. So I’m embracing it. TV gives you such an opportunity to be exposed. That could be really great for your career or absolutely detrimental, depending on when the real you comes out.

So which part of “Rock of Love” was the real you, and which part wasn’t?
All of it was the real me. I like to party, I like to have a good time, but everyone who watched knew that I was a down-to-earth guy who tried hard to be respectful of other people. The show never crossed a line.

Were you worried that “Rock of Love” could harm your music career?
I thought that I have three generations of Poison fans, and this would open me up to a whole new generation. My fears about the show weren’t about music. I turned it down the first time they approached me, because their first idea was very retro. They wanted the 1986 Bret Michaels. My fans enjoyed the teased hair, the spandex. It was great, it was the time I lived in. Who knew that spandex tucked into cowboy boots would ever go out of style? But for some strange reason, it did. I’d progressed forward and I didn’t want to go back. I stood up for myself and said, “You need to let me be who I am right now in my life.”

How has reality TV affected your music career?
TV has absolutely made my sales go up, made my tour guarantees go up. TV has been a great addition to my career. But the key thing is knowing what to walk away from. I advise anyone-especially musicians-to be very careful not to just grab anything they throw your way.

What’s the premise of your new show, “Life As I Know It”?
The narrative of the show is simple: It’s an all-access backstage pass into my everyday life, about finding balance between my passion for my family, my relationship with [girlfriend] Kristi [Gibson] and being on the road. If you were to live with me for a couple months and go through all my emotions in a given day when I’m hands-on in my career, it is unbelievably mind-blowing.

Were you ever in talks with the “American Idol” execs to become a judge next season?
Yes. Not only was I in meetings with Fremantle, I made it to what they called the “top four.” We also talked a little about Simon Cowell’s new show, “X Factor,” and they asked me about being the host of a dating show they’re doing. But if there’s someone else that would give great career advice and be a lot of fun on TV, it’s Steven Tyler.

[From Billboard]

I even appreciate how honest he is about not getting the American Idol gig – and that’s interesting. I bet Simon Cowell keeps Bret in mind for other shows in development, and honestly, I think Bret would be great on one of those shows.

Photos courtesy of NY Mag & Billboard.

US Weekly has an interview with musician and reality star Bret Michaels, 47, this week. Michaels confirms that he’s back with Kristi Gibson, 39, who is the mother of his two daughters Raine, 10, and Jorja, 5. He’s not engaged as has been rumored, but is recommitted to Kristi (in his way) and acknowledges that he gave her a promise ring. When Michaels describes what fidelity means to him, that’s when it starts to get funny. You can tell he’s not joking, either:

What about the rumors that you and Kristie are now engaged?
I gave her a promise ring on Christmas Day. There’s no date for a marriage, but we love and respect each other, and one day I will make an honest woman out of her. [laughs]. We’ve been on and off since the mid 90s, and the great thing about Kristi is that she never said “If you don’t marry me, I’m leaving.” She went into this relationship with her eyes wide open. When we were broken up, I did Rock of Love – which was a train wreck of a show, and probably not the best way to find true love. But that made me appreciate her even more!

How has your recent health setback changed your life?
I’m on medication for the hemorrhage [Soma, to control back and neck cramps due to irritation from the hemorrhage] and twice a day, I give myself injections of Lovenox, which thins the blood and prevents clots. And I do four daily shots of insulin, plus six finger pricks to check my blood sugar. I’ve become Bret Michaels, human pincushion [laughs]. In January, I’m going to have an operation to close the hole in my heart. The doctors know it caused my stroke, but they still don’t know what caused the hemorrhage…

Is touring the same?
The only change is that I can’t drink alcohol! And now that I’m in a relationship, I can still have a great time with women. You just don’t go all the way. The party stays in the front of the bus, not the back.

[From US Weekly, print edition, August 2, 2010]

Doesn’t it sound like Michaels is using “back of the bus” as a metaphor? How reassuring it must sound to his girlfriend that he’s still going to have a “great time” but just won’t “go all the way.” Would you put up with that explanation from your boyfriend/husband/fiance?

As for whether he’s endangering his health by touring, Michaels says that it’s helping him to live life to the fullest and have something to look forward to. “I was lying on my back and TV in a depressing ICU for 12 days! I needed to get out. Now I get to give 1,000 percent for my fans and throw great parties on the bus. Look, I fought really hard to live and I’m not going to go out on the road and do something crazy to die.” If he does die, though, Michaels has plans for a rocking funeral that he describes as a “megaparty” to include fireworks.

You can tell that Michaels isn’t letting a massive health scare or a pre-engagement slow him down. He’s still rocking and getting into trouble. Late last week, cops in northeast Indiana searched his tour bus on some vague pretense and found marijuana and other “unspecified drugs.” Michaels’ rep told People that he “allowed an open search of the buses and everything was handled in a professional manner.”

If you’re ever pulled over by police in the US, you have the right not to consent to a search of your vehicle. (Please also remember your right to remain silent when questioned.) I’m repeating this because when researching Michaels’ response to police I found a lot of important information.

Bret Michaels, Kristi Lynn Gibson and their daughters Raine Elizabeth Sychak and Jorja Bleu Sychak are shown outside their hotel in NY on 7/13/10. Credit: Fame Pictures. Last two photos below are from 7/12/10 outside the Late Show. Credit: JDH/JCP/WENN.com

After suffering through a life-changing health scare earlier this year, Bret Michaels has finally decided to marry his on-and-off girlfriend of 16 years, Kristi Lynn Gibson. Gibson is the mother of Bret’s two daughters Raine and Jorja, and the happy family posed for photographers yesterday in New York. Star Mag is running this story without confirmation from Bret’s camp, but Star has gotten is right on a few stories lately, and I could totally see how this is possible:

Bret Michaels has proposed to his on-and-off girlfriend of 16 years Kristi Lynn Gibson, a source tells Star exclusively.

The rocker popped the question just after the 4th of July holiday weekend, says the source, at his ranch outside of Scottsdale, AZ., while on a break from his Roses & Thorns American tour.

“Bret felt like now was the time because Kristi has been through so much with Bret and has been by his side every step of the way,” a pal of the couple tells Star.

Bret, who suffered a brain hemorrhage on April 21, has changed since his illness. “He’s woken up,” his friend tells Star. “He now knows he wants to be a husband.”

And Kristi, who was sporting what appeared to be an engagement ring while accompanying Bret to his David Letterman appearance in New York City on July 12, is ready to be his wife! “Kristi is thrilled that they will be getting married,” says the source.

“They haven’t set a date and no plans are in the works yet. But when Bret’s tour ends they will work out the details. Bret wants to be in excellent health before he walks down the aisle. And, of course, he needs time to find the perfect bandanna to wear on his big day!”

Bret and Kristi have two daughters together, Raine Elizabeth, 10, and Jorja Bleu, 5.

[From Star Magazine]

Congratulations to Bret and Kristi if it’s true. After 16 years… well, she puts Waity Katy Middleton to shame, doesn’t she? And Bret’s not even going to be the King of England! But he does seem like a sweet guy, and I think his health scare earlier this year was probably a big wake-up call for their relationship.

UPDATE: Bret just denied this on CBS’s Early Show. He said: “No. We are not engaged yet… We’re a work in progress.” He describes the ring that he gave Kristi as “a promise ring … a friendship ring, with benefits. That’s what we call it.” Damn, Kristi! You’re going to have to wait another few years, I guess.

Bret, Kristi and the girls on July 13, 2010. Credit: Fame.

The finale of Celebrity Apprentice was last night and Bret Michaels emerged the winner in the live event versus Holly Robinson Peete. Bret recently suffered a health crisis with a massive brain hemorrhage on April 21, about 10 days after he’d had an emergency appendectomy. He was out of the hospital and headed for a full recovery earlier this month, but suffered a setback with a minor stroke just last week. Michaels hung in there and was present for the finale of the show in NY. In case you think he got the sympathy vote for weathering such incredible health problems, many people said that he outperformed Peete in the final challenge and was consistently the best contestant overall. Peete of course held her own though, and won more money than anyone on the history of Celebrity Apprentice or regular Apprentice.

While most of the television-watching audience was trying to parse out whatever was happening during the finale of “Lost” on Sunday night (when was the last time you had a memory in the third person?), the real drama was going down a few clicks away on the season finale of “The Celebrity Apprentice.” In a dramatic two hours of rapid-fire reality TV, Bret Michaels and Holly Robinson Peete squared off in an epic duel that ended not only with Michaels’ amazing recovery but also with his Snapple-fueled victory.

Most people would assume that Michaels’ victory was simply a feel-good move by Donald Trump in order to provide a fitting end to what has been a great story that has accidentally incorporated the Poison frontman’s real-life health struggles. While Michaels seemed to be perfectly healthy on the live portions of Sunday night’s (May 23) episode, he was still in the hospital and in relatively ill health as late as Thursday of last week. But Michaels’ win was also because he simply did better in the challenge, out-dueling his opponent in just about every aspect the Snapple executives cared about (Michaels’ commercial, featuring former baseball great Darryl Strawberry wearing a beret and talking about pears, was especially excellent). Holly didn’t even seem that upset in the very professional boardroom scene, as though she knew that Michaels’ had outdone her (though you had to feel a little sad that her daughter was rooting for Bret and not for her).

Of course, the competition was just one aspect of last night’s show. The finale brought back all of the already-fired contestants (well, except for Sharon Osbourne and Bill Goldberg, whose absences were not explained at all), which reminded everybody why this season was so incredibly entertaining in the first place. Cyndi Lauper rolled around on a desk for reasons that nobody could quite figure out, and even though he didn’t say much of anything, Rod Blagojevich managed to look like he didn’t know where he was or what was going on (which is exactly what made him charming in the first place). And look! There’s Sinbad!

In the end, this season of “The Celebrity Apprentice” stood tall as one of the most surprising series of the television season. Though the two hour length was often punishing (even the finale felt just a touch soggy), it brought together some incredible personalities and put them in usually silly situations. And it also solidified Michaels’ as one of the finest stars of the celebrity genre (which, in 2010 terms, is about the equivalent of being the best hair metal frontman).

[From MTV]

With the Celebrity Apprentice title Michaels earned $250,000 for his charity, the American Diabetes association. On top of everything else, the 47 year-old singer suffers from Type 1 diabetes. Snapple, the sponsor of the final challenge, matched Michaels’ donation with a $250,000 gift to Peete’s cause, the HollyRod Foundation for autism awareness. Peete has a three year old son with autism.

I’m just glad the guy is ok and hope he takes it easy from now on. He’s been through so much and it can’t help to keep pushing himself like this. Hopefully he’ll rest and recuperate after his hard fought battle both in the hospital and the board room.

Here’s Bret discussing his medical condition. When asked about whether he’s risking his life to be on the show, Bret jokes that “lately it seems like me just standing up is risking my life.”

And here he is winning. Thanks to AOL Television for these clips.