For as much as we all despise the stupid, annoying, superficial, ubiquitous, famewhore, lying (I could go on) Kardashians, they’re not freaking going away. All the Internet petitions and negative comments in the world aren’t going to make them disappear when they’re still scoring huge ratings for their reality shows on E! It’s all about the numbers.

A lesser-known and more likable Kardashian, Rob, earned second place on this season’s Dancing with The Stars, and now the head pimp mama matriarch, the one responsible for this mess, Kris Jenner, could be on the show next. Rob Shuter of HuffPo reports that the show is courting Kris, because the Kardashians generate so much buzz. Just like a fly in the house that bothers you all day, evading all attempts to kill it.

Now that the latest season of “Dancing with the Stars” has ended, producers are already busy trying to find celebrities to go pointed-toe-to-toe next season. And this time they’ve got their eye on the mother of all Kardashians — Kris Jenner.

“They have already had Kim and brother Rob Kardashian on the show and now they are hoping to get mamma Kris to swing her hips,” an insider told me. “Love them or hate them, the Kardashians bring a huge amount of media and buzz to anything they do and having Kris join the next show would be a smart and controversial move, which is exactly what this show loves to do.”

In the past, “Dancing” hasn’t shied away from casting divisive competitors — Kate Gosselin, Bristol Palin and Chaz Bono, to name a few. Producers have done so with the knowledge that, when it comes to ratings, hate trumps indifference every time.

“They have already asked Robin Quivers from the ‘Howard Stern Show’ to join next season, but she has turned them down for a fourth time, saying she doesn’t want to take that much time away from Howard,” a source close to Stern’s show told me. “So expect Kris to get her offer in the next few weeks.”

[From Huffington Post]

Well DWTS took this same tactic with Kate Gosselin and ended up with record ratings while Kate came across like the uncoordinated witch that she is. So as much as I hate to admit it, this could be a win-win. Kris might come off badly while DWTS doesn’t care as long as they get ratings. We keep waiting for the final nail with the family and it just never comes. Maybe because they have so many damn people. I think Kris had six kids knowing that she would make them into money-makers some day. It happened for her, and she created some daughters in her own truly awful mold. The fact that some of them seemed to turn out more tolerable just points to the fact that she probably wasn’t an involved parent.

Update: I just saw this story where Kris’ youngest daughter, 14 year-old Kylie, went on a date with an Australian pop singer named Cody Simpson and got photographed by the paparazzi. Kris is now pimping out her 14 year-old daughter’s first dating experiences. There are no words, or maybe there are just too many of them that flood my mind in an angry blur.

These event photos are from 10/22/11 (with DWTS professional Mark Ballas) and 8/17/11. Credit: PRPhotos. Photo above of Kylie credit: David Tonnessen/Pacific Coast News

With all the stories of the Kardashians fighting among themselves, is it at all surprising to hear that pimp mama Kris Jenner and her husband, hapless lizard-faced Bruce, are on the rocks? It just sounds like the same old for this family. The National Enquirer has this news, and I would bet they have a solid source for it. They claim that Kris and Bruce are fighting over Kim’s divorce and over money, and that Kris has even put Bruce on an allowance! That’s ripe.

The Enquirer has learned that the 20 year union of [Kris and Bruce Jenner] – is on the rocks and both of them are ready to throw in the towel.

They’ve been battling over everything from money to how to raise their offspring. Bruce is tired of Kris making work her priority instead of family, and Kris can’t stand Bruce spending time and money on his expensive hobbies like golf and motorcycle racing, say sources.

The couple is even taking sides in daughter Kim’s explosive divorce battle with her estranged husband.

Incredibly, Kris, 56, has reportedly demeaned her sports hero husband by putting him on an allowance, and an insider reveals that the glamorous family has now become “totally fractured…”

“Bruce has started standing up for himself, insists Kris cut back on her work and is spending more time away from the house to enjoy time by himself,” charged the source.

“He now wants a life away from the TV craziness. As a result, he and Kris are at a crisis point in their marriage.

“He loved being a team with her in the early days of their marriage, but there seems little hope for reviving that between his outside interests and her managing and running the Kardashian empire 24-7.

“They are at a breaking point in the relationship…

“For the first time, he’s questioning her decisions about the family and business. And he gave Kim an earful about walking away from her marriage to Kris Humphries too soon.

“And Bruce blames Kris J. for driving Humphries away. But Kris can’t stand the basketball player and fully supports Kim plowing ahead with the divorce…”

When Bruce first discovered an Internet campaign trying to get the E! network to dump “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” he had a surprising reaction.

“Bruce actually laughed when he saw the petition because he thinks the show is partly to blame for his marital problems,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 5, 2011]

There’s more in there about how it hurt Bruce’s feelings when Kris announced that she wanted to change her last name back to “Kardashian” from “Jenner.” Those of you who watch the show say that Bruce sometimes meekly disagrees with his wife and kids but that he’s shot down every time. If this is true that he wants his wife to cut back on work, and particularly if he’s hoping the show will end, it’s probably pissing Kris off to no end. She can’t deal with another high profile breakup, particularly her own, at this crucial point in her family’s media career. I would just love it if Bruce filed for divorce, but he doesn’t seem the type to rock the boat at all. If he were, he would have hightailed it out of there a long time ago. So instead he’s filling his time with golf and hobbies, and Kris is so controlling that she’s even trying to take those small pleasures away from him.

E! has some details of the premiere episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York. It’s all about how Kris H. and Kim were incompatible and seeing the writing on the wall. We know that Kris Humphries is going to be portrayed as the baddie this season, and that Kim oversaw the editing of her show to make sure that happened. Kim knew what she was getting into, and she’s a fool if she thinks that the public is going to buy her victim act. She needs a nice compliant doormat husband like her step dad.

These photos of Kris and Bruce out together are from 8/4/11. Event photo is from 1/5/11. Credit: WENN

Mothers of daughters – would you ever, in any universe, want your daughters to turn out at all like the Kardashian girls? Even with all the cash and luxury goods that go along with that, we’re talking vapid, baby-voiced, narcissistic plastic surgery victims. Maybe Khloe is a semi-decent person and Kourtney is tolerable, but Kim? I mean, even though these women were adults when they entered into this reality show, fame for fame’s sake career path, they changed into warped versions of themselves. And even if you argue that only Kim changed significantly, she’s enough of a cautionary tale about entering into show business without having any discernible talent to trade on.

Well Kate Gosselin doesn’t seem to care. She sees all the wonderful things that fame has brought her – like a new face, a married paid-for boyfriend, a huge house and lots of stuff, and she wants that for her daughters. Anything else, like an education or a normal life outside of the spotlight, would be “mediocre.” Kate has reportedly reached out to pimp mama Kris Jenner for help on “how to turn the Gosselin kids into a money-making machine” like the Kardashians. We’ve seen where that train is getting off and it’s not pretty.

Fallen reality TV star Kate Gosselin is turning to Kris Jenner to save her tanking career!

Cash-hungry Kate is hoping [Kris]… can help reinvent HER family as the next Hollywood dynasty, sources say.

“Kate has reached out to Kris hoping she’ll mentor her on how to turn the Gosselin kids into a money-making machine,” a source divulged.

“Kate wants her family to be Kardashian 2.0!…”

In a bid to rebiuld their brand, Kate is enrolling the children in singing and acting classes, and planning a move to Hollywood…

“Kate got Kris’ e-mail address and sent her a gushing note about how much she admires Kris for turning her family into international superstars,” the source divulged.

“Kate ended the note by saying, ‘I hope you can teach me some of your magic tricks.’”…

“Kate is praying this new friendship will lead to a meeting with executives at the E! network, where the Kardashian TV empire is based,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 5, 2011]

I believe this. Kate is desperate for some kind of career and she’s probably reaching out to Kris as a last ditch lifeline. Kris’ empire is crumbling though, and she’s not going to be able to help her at all. E! knows that they can’t continue to build their schedule around this family and they see the writing on the wall. The Gosselins are even older news than the Kardashians. Kate should accept her fate as a spokesperson for CouponCabin.

You remember how Kate’s new face was a minor topic last week? US Weekly speculated that Kate had a face lift, while Radar got a plastic surgeon who guessed that she’d had a new-fangled treatment involving fat transfers to the face. A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon named Ashkan Ghavami told Radar: “She will have had it injected into fat pockets in her face to get the lines filled and plump up the skin. If it’s not done precisely it can make you look slightly wide and distorted, which is what has happened to Kate.” So all of you who commented that her face looked smooshed were right. Kate just penned a very brief blog entry for CouponCabin denying that she’s had a face lift. Of course she didn’t mention anything about getting any other treatments at all.

Kate Gosselin photos credit: CouponCabin. Kris Jenner photos are from 11-7-11 credit: Josiah True/ WENN.com

Among all the latest Kardashian stories there’s been one major theme, and that is that the general public, not just the heavy gossip consumers like us, are sick of these bitches, particularly Kim, and are ready to see them go away permanently. We’ve all been saying this for some time, but it took a while for the tide to turn and it really has. Last night’s Entertainment Tonight asked if the Kardashian empire was crumbling, and it definitely seems to be. There are several petitions to take their shows off their air, the most active of which has over 100,000 signatures and an accompanying website, BoycottKim.com. The website is an amusing parody and brief commentary on the Karadashians, although the brands to boycott section is incomplete. That’s probably because it’s nearly impossible to keep up with all the crap these people have slapped their name on.

Well advertisers are worried and wary of the Kardashians, according to ET, as is E!’s parent company, Comcast. ET claimed last night that they had a source that confirmed that “Comcast is concerned about the Kardashian franchise.” A journalist for Hollywood Reporter, Leslie Bruce, really summed things up during ET’s segment. She said “The Kardashian brand relies solely on it’s authenticity, and viewers really believing that they have a window into their life. Without that really what do the Kardashians have?”

What’s more is that the Kardashian sisters have a new book out called Dollhouse. It’s very thinly veiled fiction about their lives, with three sisters called Kamille, Kassidy, and Kyle who live in L.A. with their controlling mom and her new husband, a former professional baseball player. Their rich dad died a few years prior and now they’re hustling to keep up their luxurious lifestyle. The existence of this book just brings home how fake this family is and how much krap they’re trying to sell us without possessing any talent or a intelligence.

If you do a google news search on Kardashian, all the top results are about the petition to take them off their air. There’s also news that Kim ditched her best friend, Brittny Gastineau, shortly after she got married. Brittny’s mom told Radar that Brittny was concerned about Kim jumping into her marriage with Kris Humphries too fast. After Kim got married, she shut Brittny out. She also seems to have shut her husband out, and to have simultaneously slammed the door on all the easy money she was making. Narcissists aren’t very good at maintaining relationships after all.

Here are Kourtney and Khloe promoting their new book in New Jersey yesterday. Look at how orange Kourtney’s face is! And her pantsuit is ridiculous. Kim was a no show.

Photo credit: WENN and Fame

Kendall and Kylie Jenner are Kris Jenner’s youngest at 16 and 14. (This interview incorrectly lists their ages as 16 and 15. Kylie was born in 1997 so that’s not correct.) The two youngest Jenners/Kardashians have been showing up on red carpets for events and premieres looking very much like their older sisters, down to the heavy makeup, long hair extensions, high heels and short skirts. Kendall, who works as a model, just got a $90,000 Range Rover for her 16th birthday.

In a new interview with Celebuzz, Kendall and Kylie talk about their media careers and how they enjoy going to school still because it keeps them grounded. It would be a nice sentiment if they didn’t make school seem like this foreign land that they enjoy visiting occasionally. Out of all of Kris Jenner’s children, only Rob Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian have gone to college. Both of them graduated with bachelors degrees.

Here’s part of their new interview. Celebuzz talked to the sisters at the Style Awards, where they picked up an award for “Stylish Sisters.” I’m honestly wondering if they waived an appearance fee for that.

Have you been driving your new Range Rover all day?
Kendall: Yes! I did drive it a little bit with my dad today. It’s such a nice car, I can’t get over it. I still don’t even feel like it’s my car though! Like, I get in it and I feel like it’s my mom’s friend’s car.
Kylie: I don’t even feel like it’s her car!
Kendall: Today, [Kylie] is like where is my computer? I was like, I think it’s in my car — wait my car? That doesn’t even sound right.

Did you know you were getting a car?
Kendall: No, it was a total surprise!
Kylie: I was in on it! I knew for a while.

Did you just drop some hints to your parents? Or steer them in the direction of a Range Rover?
Kendall: I knew I wanted a Range Rover, but I seriously did not think I would get one! I had no idea that was going to happen. I went and looked at different cars as well, my dad took me to a bunch of places. I just never expected that, I thought there is no way that is going to happen. Then it did! I was so excited, I cried!

You girls are very grounded for being so famous. Is it hard to balance this red carpet life with being just normal 16 and 15 [sic] year old girls?
Kylie: We go to school, so that helps a lot.
Kendall: School definitely helps, it really does.
Kylie: If we didn’t go to school it would be hard, but school brings us back.
Kendall: And we love going to school! We really do. We love being able to have that aspect still in our lives. It’s like being Hannah Montana and living two lives! We love it, and we love being able to have our friends. It is a little weird sometimes, especially when they come up to us, like our friends at school don’t expect us to be like that.
Kylie: At all
Kendall: They just think of us as normal kids because we’ve known them since kindergarten.
Kylie: They don’t know this side of everything.

So what is next for you girls outside of school? Will we see you model together again anytime soon? Or are you going to keep going solo Kendall?
Kendall: I’ve been solo, so I’m staying solo. We’ve done some fun shoots together, but it’s never going to be a set thing [modeling together].

[From Celebuzz]

As for school they “love being able to have that aspect still in our lives.” I guess Kendall, at 16, sees other models who have dropped out or are homeschooled, and it sounds like she realizes her time at school is limited and just about up. I hope their mom honors their love of school and encourages them to continue with their educations, but you know Kris Jenner. If there’s money and headlines to be made that will take precedence. Plus now that the shelf life for Kim et al. is just about up, Kris is going to pull out these two as her trump card.

Here are Kylie and Kendall at the premiere of Breaking Dawn, Part 1 last night. We’ll be covering the other premiere photos shortly. I was going to say that you can see 14 year-old Kendall’s bra, but that’s just a bizarre bra-like detail of her shirt.

I love the guy who’s photobombing them!

And here they are at the Style Awards on Sunday night.

Photo credit: WENN.com

In between defending her daughter’s failed sham of a marriage and claiming we don’t real know her family, Kris Kardashian Jenner has been promoting her new memoir, a large portion of which is dedicated to her friendship with Nicole Brown Simpson. During her media tour and in her book, Kris claimed that Nicole reached out to her the day before she was murdered, but that she was too busy to see her. In Kris’ mind, she somehow could have “saved” Nicole if she had only been there for her. It was ridiculous, self-centered and cruel to bring all that up to promote a book, but that’s Kris Jenner for you. She’s responsible for foisting her family on the world and she’s shameless. Well Nicole Brown Simpson’s sister, Denise Brown, went on the record with the Enquirer to denounce Kris and call her both pathetic and a liar. Apparently Kris claims in her book that Denise called her after the murder and asked her about the safe deposit box where Nicole kept photos and other evidence of her abuse. Denise denies ever doing that and says that the fact that Kris is bringing up her sister’s murder is hard for their family to take. Denise also calls out Kris for profiting off her sister’s death.

Kris Jenner is being blasted for writing about the death of Nicole Brown Simpson by the murdered woman’s sister Denise Brown, who says Kris is dredging up the painful past for profit.

What’s worse, Denise says Kris’ version of events – as detailed in the newly released “Kris Jenner…and All Things Kardashian” – is not even accurate!

“Kris Jenner IS pathetic,” Denise, 54, told The ENQUIRER in an exclusive interview.

In the book, Kris writes that the day after Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman were murdered in June 1994, Denise called her and asked about some photos Nicole kept hidden in a secret safety deposit box.

“Nicole had been beaten up by O.J., and she had been keeping this physical proof in the form of photographs and, it would turn out, other evidence, in which she had documented seven years of abuse,” Kris divulged in the book. “Nicole really wanted someone close to her to know what was going on, so that somebody – namely me – could be a witness.”

But Denise strongly denies calling Kris, 56, to ask about the photos during those heartbreaking days.

“I had just found out my sister was murdered,” Denise recalled. “The last thing on my mind was whether or not Nicole showed anyone any pictures she had in a safety deposit box.

“In fact, I didn’t even know my sister HAD a safety deposit box with pictures of her abuse until the beginning of O.J.’s trial – months after she was murdered…

““I think most people will question her intentions of writing about my sister’s murder,” Denise fumed. “I am really disappointed in Kris. For the past two-and-a-half years, my family has had some relative peace regarding all of this stuff. Now that Kris has brought it up again, she’s split open the healing wounds.

“For her to write about it is like reliving it all over again. My poor mother is really taking it hard.”

But for the Kardashian clan – who reportedly raked in $65 million last year – it’s all about money, say sources.

“Haven’t they made enough?” Denise added. “Nicole has been dead for 17 years. Please, Kris, don’t profit off of my sister’s horrible death.”

[From The National Enquirer, print and online editions]

I’m glad someone thought to ask the Brown family what they thought of Kris Jenner’s ridiculous claims. The woman is lying through her teeth, and her ex husband was one of O.J.’s high paid defense lawyers. She writes that she never thought O.J. was innocent and that was suspicious of his actions following the murder. So why didn’t she confront her ex husband about it? I’m sure she made up a bunch of excuses and lies about that too.

Kris also revealed that she cheated on her then-husband, Robert Kardashian, with a “producer named Ryan” when she was 30. (Not this Ryan, he would have been 11 at the time.) That was in 1985, and Kris filed for divorce from Robert in 1990. She wrote that “I don’t know why I was having a mid-life crisis at 30, but I was. His name was Ryan, and he was a producer. We had wild sex everywhere, all the time.” TMI from Kris, but that’s what she’s known for. That and bending the truth to promote herself and make money.

These photos of Denise Brown are from 2007. Kris is shown this year making an ass of herself as usual. Credit: WENN.com

Kris Jenner used to be married to Robert Kardashian, one of the lawyers who defended OJ Simpson in that circus of a murder trial that captivated a pre-Internet nation in 1994. Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and Robert Jr. are all Kris and Robert’s kids. Kris and Robert divorced in 1990, prior to the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman. Anyway Kris was friends with Nicole Brown Simpson, whom she claims called her up the day before her murder and asked her to come over, but she was too busy. Kris made this revelation in her new memoir, oh yes she has one, called Kris Jenner . . . And All Things Kardashian. (Note: this excerpt makes it sound like Nicole called Kris on the day she was murdered. EW clarifies that it was the day before.)

Whilst Kris Jenner’s immediate concerns might be towards her daughter Kim Kardashian, in the wake of the latter’s split from husband Kris Humphries after just 72 days of marriage, the 55 year-old is in the press this week for altogether more series matters. Jenner has published allegations about the famously acquitted murder suspect O.J. Simpson in her latest book ‘Kris Jenner . And All Things Kardashian’, according to E! Online.

Jenner was best friends with Simpson’s wife and eventual victim Nicole Brown Simpson and has written that she might’ve been able to save her friend’s life that fateful day on June 12th 1994 – had she acquiesced to Simpson’s request to go over and see her. “Nicole said, Can you get over here…? I need to talk to you. It’s really important”, Jenner explained, going on to admit that she said she was too busy at the time, before claiming that it was the last time she ever heard Simpson’s voice. Furthermore, upon hearing of the murder Jenner claims she “instinctively knew” of OJ’s involvement.

“I truly couldn’t believe she had been so betrayed by the person who she had once loved most. That O.J. would be so destructive and selfish and jealous that he would do that to her was just mind-blowing to me,” she admonished, “All these thoughts were running through my mind. This can’t be true.” Former American Footballer O.J was famously let off the murder of his wife in 1994, though he was ordered to pay $34 million to the deceased’s family.

Look, this is Kris Jenner we’re talking about. She’s single-handedly responsible for foisting her entire family on us and marketing more products slapped with their name than any other stage mother that came before her. She described her reaction to her daughter Kim’s sex tape as making lemonade out of lemons, and she probably orchestrated a fake courtship, fake wedding and now fake-divorce for Kim, all for cash and ratings. You just can’t put it past this lady to make up a story like Nicole’s call for help for headlines, whether she’s disrespecting the memory of her dead friend or not. That said, I could also see her being way too busy to help a distraught friend. Did you see this stupid video she made in the 80s? She says she loves her friends only it’s all about her. Entertainment Weekly has more on the revelations from Kris’ memoir, including the fact that she was convinced that OJ was guilty. So was most of the rest of the world watching the trial.

Kris is shown on 10/22/11. Credit: WENN.com

It bothers me that Kris Kardashian is starting to pimp out her two youngest daughters, Kylie and Kendall, from her current husband, Bruce Jenner. Both Kylie, 14, and Kendall, 15, have fledgling modeling careers, with Kylie modeling for Sears at 12 and doing sexy photo shoots when she was just 13 and Kendall doing inappropriate bikini photo shoots at 15 and modeling suggestively for commercial campaigns. Some people argue that models are usually this young when they start out and that it’s normal, but where Kris Kardashian is involved, I worry. Plus these girls star on a reality show, and they often hit the red carpet together looking very much like 20-something women. It seems like too much too soon, but that’s the Kardashians for you.

Anyway here’s more about Kendall’s career. She’s now modeling for an Australian bikini company, which make sense because she’s gorgeous and has legs up to there. Still, she’s fifteen! I know that’s typical for models but it bothers me. At least she turns 16 next month and doesn’t look emaciated or like she’s had a ton of plastic surgery like Ali Lohan.

She gave us a sneak peek at her shoot for Aussie swimwear brand White Sands in August, and now, Kim Kardashian‘s little sis Kendall Jenner is making waves with the official photos from the campaign.

In the images, shot in Los Angeles in July, Jenner channels a whimsical water nymph as she shows off the spring/summer 2012 collection of floral bikinis, deep cut maillots and caftans.

“The collection has both an ethereal and strong side and we wanted a model that could capture both,” designer Leah Madden tells PEOPLE. “As we were casting for the campaign we came across Kendall’s portfolio and loved her softness and strength. She actually made it to the top of our list before we knew her background!”

The 15-year-old continues to prove that she’s a pro when it comes to posing both in front of the camera and on the catwalk — she even made her runway debut at New York Fashion Week last month. “Kendall was a delight on set and a natural in front of the camera,” Madden adds of the model, who favored the floral prints and high-waisted bikinis — and even picked out some swimsuits to take home to her sisters.

[From People]

These aren’t string bikinis, but still. The mom in me wants to wipe the makeup off these girls and put them in cleats and soccer outfits. (They both do cheerleading at least.) I know I shouldn’t bother. They’re in this family, and this is all they’re ever going to know. According to this article, Kendall is even in on the family past time of scoring free swag.

These photos are from the launch of the Kardashian Kollection on 8/18/11. Credit: WENN and PRPhotos. Other photos credit White Sands via Celebrity Gossip.

Kris Jenner and her three oldest daughters are on the cover of Redbook magazine. In the accompanying interview, Kris makes a bunch of snotty comments trying to refute the criticism about her family: that they don’t work and that they have no talent. She gets indignant about it, forgets the number of hours in a day and then acts like her “girls” are better than the rest of us who either chose not to get bikini waxes and Botox on camera or just haven’t had the opportunity.

Make no mistake: The Kardashians didn’t earn $65 million last year by sitting on their famous derrieres.

PHOTOS: Kim’s best booty moments

“It’s annoying when I hear, ‘What do your girls do?’ Well, first of all, all of my daughters have jobs. They are fashion stylists and designers; they own a chain of stores. They had the stores before they had the show,” matriarch Kris Jenner, 55, tells the May issue of Redbook. “And my kids worked from the time they were 13 years old. So to me, that’s a huge misconception that the girls don’t work. They work 25 hours a day.”

As for criticism that her famous daughters lack any talent? “They might not be singers or dancers, but they certainly know how to produce a television show,” Jenner says. “Whether you want to call it talent or not, they have multiple shows on the air. How many shows do you have?”

Part of their family’s appeal, Khloe notes, is that they aren’t afraid to be themselves.

“We are a real family. We don’t sugarcoat anything. We’re not the Brady Bunch, but we always put each other first,” Khloe Kardashian, 26, says. “We love each other on camera, we cry on camera. I think people relate to the realness of it.”

Kim Kardashian, 30, insists there isn’t much to hide anyway. “There’s nothing I’m really ashamed of, and I work hard on the show and all my other projects,” she tells the mag. “I don’t drink or do drugs, so I’m comfortable showing the world what my life is all about.”

Despite their individual struggles — Khloe’s pressure to have a baby, Kourtney Kardashian’s rocky relationship with Scott Disick, and Kim’s struggle with plastic surgery rumors — Kris insists her family is stronger than ever.

“Our joy in life is that we always have each other,” she says. “So I’ve tried to teach my kids three things: love God, love your family and love yourself.”

For more Kardashian revelations and photos, visit Redbook.

[From US Weekly]

It was surprising to me to read that Kris Jenner tells her kids to love God because I don’t remember hearing that the Kardashians are particularly religious. I googled “Kardashians church” and was reminded of this story about how Kim gives 10% of her salary to a church that Kris founded. So when Kris teaches her kids to revere God she’s also teaching them to give even more of their earnings to her tax shelter.

Now we know what Kris Jenner thinks of any of her family’s fans that dare question them – they’re not rich and famous so they’re not qualified to ask what it is they do exactly. We’re just peons buying the crap that her daughters work “25 hours a day” to stick their name on. Everyone who doesn’t like them is just jealous, right?

Remember when you had to actually do something to be rich and/or famous, like sing, dance, act, be phenomenal at sports, or pick the right combination of two digit numbers? Well the Kardashian family has made an incredibly lucrative business out of exaggerating their personal lives, fertility and minor weight fluctuations. According to a new profile in The Hollywood Reporter, the family made $65 million dollars last year. Let’s say that number was provided by Kris to overestimate her family’s worth. We’ve heard that Kim makes about $35,000 just to show up to an event, but in this new article they estimate her appearance fee at $100,000 to $250,000. On an average week she can do two to three appearances. At 2 appearances per week that’s about $11 million dollars without even accounting for her endorsement deals. Add in all the other family members and whatever they make for their reality shows, merchandising (clothing, jewelry, perfume, etc), interviews and general famewhoring, and that ridiculous $65 million number, more than top celebrities make combined, sounds about right.

They made more money than Jolie, Bullock and Cruise combined
Since their arrival on E! in 2007, thanks to such no-boundaries behavior, the tightknit family has ably defied the laws of 15-minute reality TV fame while building a wildly profitable empire. As the cameras keep rolling on the eight-member clan’s topsy-turvy domestic life, the Kardashians have cashed in, making more money last year than what Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock and Tom Cruise are estimated to have earned combined: a staggering $65 million (a source close to the family confirms the figure). As manager, Kris Jenner personally takes 10 percent.

And in perhaps the most Platonic exploitation of the celebrity-industrial complex, they didn’t do it by picking up paychecks from a network or studio alone. Deploying sibling after sibling, the household, led by Kris, has crafted a wholly modern business model for making money. It’s one that emphasizes accesibility over harnesses three commercial components: fan interaction via social media (the family has a collective 13 million Twitter followers); best-selling products and brand endorsements; and, of course, that hyper-successful reality franchise (Season 5 of E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians averaged 3.5 million viewers a week).

In a year when men and women in the entertainment industry with business backgrounds couldn’t turn a profit, Kris Jenner could — even if critics ponder what, if any, redeeming value her family brings.

On Kim’s sex tape propelling her family into fame
It was February 2007 when Kris’ second oldest, Kim — then best known as socialite Paris Hilton’s perpetual sidekick — sat her mom down for a confession: She had made a sex tape with her then-boyfriend, musician Ray J. brother of singer Brandy. The kicker? A third party had sold the tape to adult video distributor Vivid Entertainment, and it would be going on sale at the end of the month. The celebrity press soon exploded with every last graphic detail of what the tape contained.

The timing could not have been worse. Inspired by the success of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne’s family, Kris independently produced a presentation tape of a reality show following her family and had recently begun shopping it to different production companies.

“I thought, ‘Oh well, there goes the reality show,’ ” she say. But you can either be a problem maker or a problem solver. And I’m a problem solver. My job as her mom and manager is to take care of the problem — whatever it is. I had to cry and get upset in the privacy of my own room and then come out and help her, because she’s my daughter. What good is it for me to berate her?”

Claiming to have never seen the tape, Kris hired a crisis communications expert to help navigate the scandal. “I was way out of my league,” she says. “I would never think I knew enough to care for a situation like that. What’s that Kenny Rogers line? ‘You got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em.’ All I knew was that I had to make some lemonade out of these lemons fast. Real fast.”

The fact that Vivid had to pay Kim a figure that’s been reported at $5 million is almost beside the point. The sex tape — one of Vivid’s best-selling DVDs in 10 years — put the Kardashians on the map.

“My job was trying to take my kids’ 15 minutes and turn it into 30,” Kris recalls. Shortly afterward, her entire family would have to get comfortable in front of the camera.

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

Here’s the thing about Kim’s sex tape. It may have been upsetting to her family at first that it got out, but The Hollywood Reporter completely glosses over the fact that Kris could just have easily hired a lawyer to block it. She didn’t have to hire a “crisis communications expert” after taking the millions Vivid offered. In fact it sounds like Kris is pretty happy it turned out the way it did because she was able to parlay her daughters sex on tape into tens of millions more.

The article in The Hollywood Reporter is pretty fascinating. It would be hard to cover all the points they make about the family and how they’re raking it it, but it’s worth noting that they’re one of the first reality show families to really resonate with the public since The Osbournes. It seems like everyone and their brother has a reality show, but the Kardashians are really unique in that they have no shame and promote the hell out of themselves.

On a final note, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the “lemonade” quote and how it might ironically pertain to certain sex acts rumored to be depicted on Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. I’ve heard that Kim’s tape doesn’t contain anything other than typical sex and that a rumored final shower scene, if it was ever in the tape, was cut before the final release. Kris may have heard those rumors but she supposedly hasn’t watched the video. She should watch it. She owes a lot to Kim’s indiscretion and is responsible for instilling those values in her daughters that would make a sex tape seem like a business opportunity. Her family’s most redeeming quality is their shamelessness.

Photos are from 2/14 and 2/16. Credit: WENN.com