Nick Cannon is in the hospital! Mariah Carey is making it all about her! Of course. Anyway, Nick is apparently in an Aspen hospital with “mild” kidney failure, a diagnostic term I am unfamiliar with. Isn’t it just kidney failure or NOT kidney failure? Is there a “mild” form of it? Mariah tweeted the above photo of Nick in his hospital bed. Of course Mariah is draped on him. Because when your kidneys are failing, you really want you wife to make it all about HER. I mean, I love Mariah and everything, but please, Mimi, let Nick have it. Let him have a day where it’s all about him. Here’s what Mariah had to say:

This is us in the hospital – role reversal; Last year it was me attached to the machines (after having dembabies) and Nick was there with me through it, and now here we are.

We’re trying to be as festive as possible under the circumstances but please keep Nick in your thoughts because this is very painful. They tried to kick me out of the hospital but here I am pon de bed with Mr. C.

We’re doing OK but we’re “straaaaaanded in Aspen”. #DramaticDivaPlace (I know, we could be in a lot worse places) but the truth is as long as we’re together, we’re OK. I’m not trying to make light out of the situation because it’s a serious moment that’s very tough on all of us so please keep us and our family in your prayers. LYM.

[From Mariah’s website]

I don’t get the whole “stranded in Aspen” thing. It’s not really “stranded” if Mariah is simply staying with her husband who apparently needed emergency medical care, right? Aspen does have qualified doctors and surgeons, yes? Whatever. Prayers for Nick. He’s going to need them. Kidney failure is no joke, however “mild.”

Header photo courtesy of Mariah’s Twitter. Additional pics by Fame.

These are new photos of Mariah Carey in Aspen, Colorado yesterday. I’m surprised Mariah is so covered up! Yes, I know it’s probably freezing in Aspen, but Mariah has her new Jenny Craig body and everything, you’d think that she would have found a warm outfit that showed off her figure. Like, a fur bikini. Flannel-lined booty shorts. Boob mittens. Instead, Mariah wore this poncho that I actually LOVE. It makes her look bigger than she actually is, sure, but it’s a great piece. I like how Mariah isn’t all glamorous too – she’s barely wearing any makeup! WHO ARE YOU?

Mariah Carey had quite the rosy glow about her today as she ventured out into the crisp air of Aspen. But on closer inspection, it appeared the singer’s winter chic was all thanks to some clever make-up application, rather than feeling the chill.

The 41-year-old mother-of-two had apparently dabbed on the blusher to complement her seasonal style as she stepped out trussed up in a stylish cape teamed with black leggings and her suede brown boots.

Mariah was spotted paying a visit to her mother’s jewellery store – and despite it being dark the diva still found the need for shades.

The singer and husband Nick Cannon usually go to Aspen for Christmas but didn’t last year due to fears the high altitude may interfere with her pregnancy.

She still went away because she has to be somewhere with snow at Christmas.

‘It’s got to be snowy,’ she said at the time. ‘I was considering staying in LA because we love it, but it’s not the most seasonal of places. I need snow.’

[From The Mail]

I get that. I think it’s a little bit depressing when Christmas falls during a heat wave here in Virginia, and I love it when it’s all wintery and grey.

Here’s Mariah’s new Christmas song with John Legend, “When Christmas Comes”. It’s a decent Christmas song, and the video is pretty cute. I just wish Mariah wasn’t writhing on a fur rug, you know? MORE LEGEND.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

I’m not in full-blown love or hate with this Mariah Carey-Justin Bieber music video for “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. First, I always really like this song. Well, almost always. My favorite version is the Love, Actually version, sung by that amazing little girl. My second favorite is Mariah’s original version from the 1990s. As for this version… the first time I started to watch it, I had to turn it off because I was so uncomfortable. Mariah’s got her figure back, and good for her, but I want her to STOP trying to make Christmas about her hindquarters. I don’t need to see the back of her thighs to enjoy Christmas, you know? And of course Mariah has got a cutout Santa’s Elf costume.

As for Bieber… first of all, his voice sounds rough. It’s really auto-tuned where Mariah’s voice just seems normal. His whole dancing thing is fine – I would have enjoyed it more if it hadn’t been inter-cut with Mariah giving him “Come hither to my hindquarters” eyes. Rough.

PS… what’s up with Mariah’s bangs when she’s in Santa’s sleigh? They look like bangs extensions.

Here are some new photos of Mariah Carey at the big Jenny Craig news conference and photo call officially making her the latest face of “Jenny” (Jenny Craig’s new trademarked name, I guess). Don’t get me wrong, she looks GREAT. She’s lost weight, she got a blow out, and I’m guessing she’s double or triple-Spanx-ing it, and that’s why the dress seems a little baggy in the waist. Plus, she’s sucking it in. Bless her. I love Mariah. Even when she’s doing a press conference for a weight loss program, she’s still going to Spanx it up and suck it in. Here are some gems from the press conference:

When she was heavy, she always covered up: “I had a towel on in the tub. I’m not lying, I promise you! You think I would let Nick see me looking rancid like that?”

She didn’t want to know how much weight she gained while pregnant: “I didn’t want to know, because why would I want to feel that bad? I know it was a number that I never want to see again.”

Bones: “I had, like, no bones for a while. It’s important to me to feel my bones!”

Eating while pregnant: Carey says she cooked hearty Italian meals and “soul food” throughout her pregnancy, and admitted that it’s easy to overeat when you’re eating for two – or in her case, three. “Maybe the portions weren’t what they should’ve been,” she said. “Even as a pregnant woman you kind of have control over it, but you don’t feel like it when you’re pregnant.”

She’s not petite: “I’m also 5’9″ and I’m not a petite girl.”

Not-so-veiled comments about Kim Kardashian: “I’m a real person, I’m not going to put on a fake face for Hollywood. Sometimes [Nick and I] make each other mad, that’s why we aren’t divorced after four months. I’m sorry, I’m just saying.”

Obviously: “You know, I had a situation in the past where I was controlled, and I was really young, and it affected the way I trusted people. I had no team, besides my dog and my cat. Me and Nick we always joke, I’m an Aries, I need so much attention!”

[From Us Weekly and People Mag]

Us Weekly claims that after Mariah made the crack about a four-month marriage, there were “audible gasps” in the auditorium, and that’s why Mariah gave a half-hearted non-apology. I think her point is valid – a lot of people thought Mariah and Nick wouldn’t last (I certainly didn’t think they would), and a lot of people thought they would be divorcing within a year. But they stuck with it, and now they seem so, so strong, right? And maybe it’s because they give each other what they need, and they’re not afraid to be “real” with each other. Mariah really is a diva who needs constant attention and she’ll totally be a bitch too. And Nick handles her, and they complete each other. Why not hold them up as an example of a marriage that works?

Oh, and here’s that Jenny commercial. Don’t you get it? She’s in a COCOON, people. She’s a butterfly. A newly slender butterfly, ripping her way through the cocoon of water retention.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Do you know how much I hate talking about diets? I really do. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the kind of willpower to follow Atkins or The Zone or whatever juice craze or whatever, or maybe it’s just because I think it’s a stupid subject to discuss in detail. I’m just not one of those girls who can talk about diets endlessly. But I’m not Mariah Carey. Mariah can talk about diets for a really long time. Now. She couldn’t before, because she was on fertility treatments and she had gained weight and kept it on for more than a year before she got pregnant with twins Roc & Roe. Now that she’s given birth and spent the last six months getting back into shape, and she wants to tell us all about it. She covers the new issue of Us Weekly, plus she appeared on yesterday’s Rosie O’Donnell show. There’s some mixed messaging happening here, but first, here’s Us Weekly’s cover excerpt:

“Shake It Off,” indeed! Six months after welcoming twins Moroccan and Monroe, Mariah Carey has lost 30 pounds — and shows off her toned legs and flat stomach in size-6 short-shorts on the stunning new cover of Us Weekly, out now.

“I gained an enormous amount of weight,” the Grammy-winner superstar tells Us of welcoming her son and daughter April 30 with hubby Nick Cannon. How’d she slim down? Beginning in July, Carey buckled down with a nutritionist and a workout plan from Jenny (formerly Jenny Craig), keeping to a 1,500-calorie-a-day menu and thrice-weekly workouts.

“I feel incredible,” the “Fly Like a Bird” singer tells Us, three months after her body transformation began. She and Cannon, 31, famously struggled to conceive their twins (born via C-section at 35 weeks) after a heartbreaking miscarriage.

“It was a huge blessing to be able to have the babies,” Carey says, “But I felt trapped in my body because I couldn’t move.”

Adds the once-again svelte star: “I’m proud of how hard I worked to get my body back…I had to do this for me.”

[From Us Weekly]

30 pounds? I love Mariah, but bitch please. She’s lost a lot more than 30 pounds, because I remember how heavy she was before and during her pregnancy. Mariah kind of knows it too, because she changed the number when she was on Rosie’s show, although she has a good reason – she had edema, and she claims she had 40 pounds of water weight.

Mariah Carey wasn’t shy about showing off her baby bump when she was pregnant with now-6-month-old twins Moroccan and Monroe Cannon. And now, she’s positively ecstatic about unveiling her hot new post-baby body after losing, she says, a full 70 lbs.

On Tuesday’s episode of The Rosie Show on OWN, Carey, 42, was lowered diva-style onto the stage riding on a crescent moon and wearing a skin-tight black mini-skirt and cleavage-baring leather jacket. She then explained her new physique was courtesy of a strict diet and exercise – along with the loss of what she says is about 40 lbs. of water due to a difficult pregnancy.

“In the beginning, when I first had the babies, I had so much edema … water and swelling. Most pregnant woman have that just in their feet,” Carey says. “One day I was doing my thank-you notes and I noticed it started rising up the leg, so I had edema. … I didn’t think I would ever be the same person.”

Diet Plan Spokeswoman
Once she’d shed the water weight, Carey embarked on the Jenny diet plan (formerly Jenny Craig), for which she now serves as a spokeswoman.

“The first week, I lost 40 lbs. … of just water,” Carey says. “It was just water, initially. When I started with the program, I lost at least 30 lbs. of weight that needed to be lost.”

And, says Carey, it wasn’t all about appearance. Carrying so much extra weight made everyday tasks, including going to the bathroom, a challenge.

“I had a really tough pregnancy,” she says. “I was supposed to be on bed rest, but it was so bad that even bed hurt. … I learned a lot being pregnant, watching my body change.” She adds, “The whole point of this is not just like: ‘Oh, hey, look at me and my weight loss, I’m fantastic.’ It’s really health. Like I said, I learned it when I became helpless and felt so vulnerable like never before in my life.”

How She Did It
Because she had a Cesarean section, Carey says exercise wasn’t an option early on. So, she says, “The diet is 90 percent of it.” Remembering to eat was one of her biggest challenges because, she says, she believes if she goes too long without refueling, “You slow down your metabolism.”

For her, it was important “being able to just grab something. I like the soups a lot. It’s 50 calories. I gotta say I like the snacks too.”

Carey also regained her fitness by exercising with her dogs and doing workouts in the ocean. One thing she won’t stick with once she meets her goal.

“I never weighed myself,” she explains. “People will think I’m a liar but it’s true. This is another cliché phrase, I’m a big boned girl … I’m tall and so I always weigh more.”

Instead of weighing herself, she says, “I would tend to go, ‘Does this size dress fit me that I wore three years ago? I’m good, let’s go.’ I would go by what it looked like, how I felt.”

[From People]

OK, she sounds healthy. I like that Mariah’s not too fancy to do Jenny Craig, but I still think there are some funny numbers going on with the actual weight loss versus water retention. Also: you know how I hate to talk about medical stuff because I can actually feel that stuff happening to me because I’m such a crazy hypochondriac and an easy mark for the power of medical persuasion? Well, I looked up Edema (here) and it sounds way more serious than what Mariah is talking about. It’s a serious medical condition, not just something you pee out in a week. In any case, I think Mariah probably has lost close to 70 pounds in total, but I don’t buy her breakdown of regular weight to water weight. And I love that she doesn’t weight herself either – neither do I, because, in my mind, my mega-boobs always skew the number. Shut up.

Here are some pics of Mariah before and during her pregnancy.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame & Dembabies.com.

I can’t even start with this. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon debuted “dem babies” on 20/20 Friday night, and now we have access to 20-million photos of these babies. Instead of being in midst of a massive eye-roll twitch, I’m fully prepared to gush about how beautiful and amazing the babies are, and how proud I am of Nick and Mariah. Seriously, y’all! Dem babies are gorgeous, and I like that Mariah and Nick waited a while for the debut, and that once Roc and Roe finally came out, we now get to see lots of adorable pics of them. You can see ABC’s slideshow here, and here’s a “Dem Babies” website devoted to photos of Roe and Roc.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s babies are ready for their close-ups!

The star couple’s 6-month-old twins, Moroccan and Monroe Cannon, made their TV debut on 20/20 Friday night during an interview their parents gave to Barbara Walters.

Along with the joy and pride of being a first-time mom, Carey, who told Walters she does not want to have more children, spoke about her difficult pregnancy.

“I don’t think I understood the enormity or the magnitude of what it really does to your body,” she explained. “It’s not just, oh you don’t look pretty and you have a bump.”

But parenthood certainly seems to suit the couple. “My family gives me everything,” Cannon gushed.

“It’s just love,” Carey said. “It’s a beautiful place to be.”

While dad expects Moroccan and Monroe “to get a PhD,” Carey suggested that she wants them to follow in her footsteps. “They really respond to music,” she said, before singing to the babies in their Manhattan nursery.

Lullabies may come easy for Carey – who brought them into the world to the tune of her song “Fantasy” – but opening herself up to marriage again was a different story.

“I never believe that anybody really likes me,” she admitted after Cannon – who showed off his huge “Mariah” tattoo on his back – told her she’s been his crush from day one. “I always think it’s some kind of joke or something.”

While Carey doesn’t specifically address her music mogul ex-husband, Tommy Mottola, she does say that her failed marriage in 1998 made her hesitant to say “I do” a second time.

“Initially I was afraid of the concept of marriage [again],” she said. “But this is a different situation and a different time in my life.”

Now, Carey insists, “No one will steal my spirit.”

[From People]

Of course the babies entered the world hearing their mother sing. Of course. Of course Mariah expects them to be singers. And I continue to be impressed by Nick’s insistence that his kids get an education. As for the state of Mariah and Nick’s marriage… well, they’ve surprised me so far. I hope that they make it in the long run.

Oh, and this is maybe the BEST PHOTO EVER. Yes, Mariah is already draping Monroe in diamonds. OF COURSE.

More pics:

Photos courtesy of ABC News and 20/20, plus Dem Babies slideshow.

I usually don’t have an opinion on Nick Cannon. I think he and Mariah Carey work in some strange way, and I’ve been vaguely surprised that they continue to make it as a couple. But I generally thing of Nick as simply one of Mariah’s accessories – like, he doesn’t have his own personality or anything, he needs Mariah to make him complete as a man and as a celebrity. I’m not saying my general feeling is right or true, just that he’s sort of bland without Her Royal Butterfly. But this interview has made me like Nick. This interview has made me think that Nick is surprisingly ballsy – because when Mariah hears about this, she’s going to be PISSED.

Nick Cannon wants to keep the number of celebrities in his household to a minimum.

The America’s Got Talent host, 30, says he will “absolutely not” let his 4½-month-old twins, Moroccan and Monroe, follow in the famous footsteps of him and wife Mariah Carey.

“I just want them to strive for something greater than entertainment,” Cannon told PEOPLE backstage after Wednesday’s AGT’s season finale. “I’m one of those believers in teachers, professors, heart surgeons. That’s what I’m rooting for. If I could get a scientist, that’d be amazing.”

Even though fame isn’t the path Cannon wants his children to take, he says it’s the right road for him and Carey.

“My wife is so understanding because she’s just as busy and just as focused as I am, so it’s kind of like the perfect match,” he says. “I love my career and I love being in entertainment, so it never really feels like an occupation.”

Still, Hollywood isn’t top priority for Cannon. “Being a father and being a husband comes first,” he says.

“Everybody knows I’m obsessed with my wife,” he gushes. “I’m married to Mariah Carey. It doesn’t get better than that. I’d be an idiot to do anything wrong. I worship my wife. Have you seen my back? My back says ‘Mariah Forever.’ “

[From People]

“I just want them to strive for something greater than entertainment. I’m one of those believers in teachers, professors, heart surgeons. That’s what I’m rooting for. If I could get a scientist, that’d be amazing.” I love you, Nick. That’s it – push for education. Push for science and math. Push for engineering. Do you think the whole “my kids won’t be in show business” thing will upset Mariah? I don’t actually think Mariah will push the kids into entertainment, but she’ll probably encourage their inner butterflies and such. Plus, at least one of them probably has a good singing voice, right?

And here’s that HSN video, just because.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Above is a newish photo of Mariah Carey, allegedly burning off her pregnancy weight by “jogging puppystyle”. I kid you not – that’s her own caption on Twitter. I like how Mariah pops her butt out even when she’s allegedly taking a “candid” photo for Twitter. And who knew that Mariah even owned a fanny pack? So old-school, our Mariah.

Anyway, In Touch Weekly has an excellent story about Mariah, Nick and their love of bling. I know it’s ITW and some of you are going to dismiss this out of hand just because of the source. It’s simply more fun if you believe it, though. And it’s so easy to believe:

Forget blankies and pacifiers – in Mariah Carey’s eyes, diamonds are a toddler’s best friend! Yep, even though the superstar’s twins, Moroccan and Monroe, are only 4 months old, they already have a jewelry collection to rival their mom’s!

Mariah, 42, and husband Nick Cannon, 30, are big fans of all things bling, and they’re sharing their passion with their new babies.

“Mariah bought diamond earrings for her daughter, and she’s hoping to have her ears pierced soon,” a friend says. “Plus, both kids have diamond-encrusted diaper pins.”

As if that weren’t enough, Mariah is also loading up on fancy jewels they can wear when they get older.

“She bought each twin loose diamonds that she put in a vault, to give to them when they can appreciate it.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

You want to know something weird? I don’t find it weird that Mariah has already bought her daughter diamond earrings. I don’t find it weird that Mariah is buying loose diamonds and keeping it in baby’s first jewelry vault. All of that makes some strange kind of sense to me. I mean, obviously, Mariah is already setting aside jewelry for her children. OBVIOUSLY. Babies need bling (PS… 4-month-olds are not “toddlers”). What I find weird is the “diamond-encrusted diaper pins.” Is that a thing? Do all rich people have those? Are they given as gifts by rich friends to other rich friends? I’ve seen sterling silver baby rattles and those kind of unnecessary “bling” gifts, but diamond diaper pins? Ugh.

Photos courtesy of Mariah’s Twitter.

Mariah Carey seems really out of sorts since the birth of her twins, Monroe and Moroccan, with husband Nick Cannon. One only need to witness a few minutes of her recent HSN appearance to see the evidence of said loopiness. It’s not entirely Mariah’s fault, of course. As we recently from Tilda Swinton, the reality of becoming a mother is such a huge adjustment, and Mariah (being Mariah) probably romanticized the experience so much in her head that she thought babies arrived with translucent butterfly wings and pooped an endless stream of glitter. If you factor in post-pregnancy hormones and all of the associated “feeling fat” aspects of new motherhood, it’s enough to drive a girl more than a little bit batty. And, if this story from The Enquirer is to be believed, Mariah might also be feeling quite paranoid about her husband Nick Cannon’s marital loyalty:

A devastating cheating secret is threating to destroy the marriage of new parents Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, say insiders.

Insiders say the 42-year-old diva fears that Nick — who earned a reputation as a womanizer before marrying Mariah — might be secretly angling to hook up with beautiful 27-year-old “America’s Got Talent” competitor Lys Agnes.

Mariah and Nick, the 30-year-old host of the popular NBC talent show, ahve been plagued by reports of disagreements have have rocked their three-year marriage.

What’s more, pals say the singer is “still feeling insecure about her excess baby weight” after giving birth to the couple’s twins on April 30, and she is “almost beside herself with worry that Nick could stray,” revealed an insider.

“I think she fears Nick’s wandering eye — once a cheater, always a cheater — and she zeroes in on his infatuation with gorgeous Lys.

“Nick Raves about her constantly and talks about the fact that Lys’ voice is nearly as beautiful as hers. He makes comments about how Lys reminds him of a young Mariah. Meanwhile, Mariah’s struggling to shed her baby weight. She feels unattractive and needs more TLC from Nick. But it’s as if he’s too caught up in Lys and his show to even notice!”

Lys, who currently works in retail, quit singing for two years after her fiance was tragically killed in a car accident. But now she’s become an “America’s Got Talent” favorite, performing soaring versions of opera classics.

Nick seems to be the Denver-based beauty’s biggest fan.

“I think Mariah has always been uncomfortable with his Lothario reputation and worries more than ever that he might be tempted into the arms of another woman.”

Mariah’s fear over Nick’s attraction to Lys comes at a terrible time — when pressures on the married couple’s relationship are mounting, say insiders.

“Mariah and Nick seem to be struggling under a mountain of problems,” said the close source.

“They’re both adjusting to the demands of new parenthood – and Nick’s escape from all the stress is his work. Meanwhile, I think Mariah is feeling old and overweight, and she’s almost consumed with fears that Nick isn’t as interested in her as he once was. Their once-fairytale romance is in danger of unraveling because of Mariah’s fears and insecurities.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, August 22, 2010]

A lot of this story sounds like made-up garbage, for only a true schmuck would tell his wife about the so-called “younger version of herself” (like, say, Chris Martin). Although Nick does indeed have a past reputation of being a ladies man, I have a hunch that he’s quite infatuated with his new role as father and husband. Furthermore, he really seems to worship the notoriously carpeted ground that Mariah walks upon and would probably swim through shark-infested waters just to bring her a bottle of Pellegrino.

After all, for the past three years, Nick has acted as if he hit the jackpot when he found Mariah, and I’m not even intentionally referring to her bank account, but there’s also that unavoidable consideration as well. Does anyone really think he’d give all of that up (and probably his twins too) just for a go at this? I don’t think so.

Photos courtesy of Fame

Mariah talks to the first caller. You can watch more clips through these links

Mariah Carey was on HSN yesterday selling her jewelry and perfume lines. As we saw during her six hour stint on HSN in December, she repeated the same themes over and over and they usually involved how uncomfortable she was when she was pregnant with twins earlier this year. Mariah and her husband Nick Cannon welcomed fraternal twins, daughter Monroe and their son Moroccon, on April 30th. Judging from the clip reel of Mariah’s HSN appearance that Gawker compiled and the clips I’ve seen on YouTube, Mariah didn’t talk much about the babies but she did discuss how uncomfortable she was when she was pregnant and what a sacrifice she made by having twins. She went on about it when she wasn’t ordering the cameras around.

On what she went through for the babies
In February it was bleak for me. It was so difficult. I was so uncomfortable. I’m still recovering. They were born on April 30th so it’s only been not that long…

I’ve been really working hard [on my body] you can’t really see my body, but I’m working hard I’m getting there…

I’m kind of proud of myself, pregnant with twins is different than anything. They were always saying to me ‘it’s all worth it.’ That’s easy to say when you’re not the one whose feet are this big. It turned into like a really difficult time.

Because my body went through so much holding those twins in, you have to keep them in as long as possible because it’s a sacrifice you make for them…

How she isn’t getting much sleep
Maybe when they’re a little older we’ll bring them [on tour]. Now it’s a little tough. I was up at 5:30 in the morning after being here till whatever time because my son wanted to wake up and stuff like that, but he’s incredible already. Mind you they’re born six weeks early so it’s an amazing thing.

On the fact that there are no pictures of the babies out yet
The world hasn’t seen them, we don’t know how we want to deal with that. It’s tough, but they’re our babies, but a lot of people are like “Why are they not in a spread yet?” Because we don’t know what we want to do. They’re our family, you know what I mean. We have them for ourselves. You do get chased, it’s safer to take… a picture.

You would think a new mom would talk more about how beautiful and lovely and special her babies are. I watched quite a few clips and she did mention them at one point which I’ve quoted above. That was rare compared to how much she talked about herself, though. Most of what she said was about how she feels and what she sacrificed for her babies. She gave up her nails and her body and she’s working hard to get it back. At least she was hoping for a big payday but that no tabloids were willing to pony up. The way she explained it made me think those stories was true.

I can’t verify that this clip is from Mariah’s most recent appearance, as she looks a little bigger than in that other rose outfit and it may be earlier (but still after her babies were born). Again, it’s all about her and all about what she went through and what she’s interested in. She does talk about the babies around 8:30.