It’s not uncommon to have a small celebration when someone returns home from jail. It’s not a situation most celebs often find themselves in very often, but it happens. A tiny gathering with maybe a black and white striped sheet cake would not be totally inappropriate. But why settle for something so mundane when you’re a Hogan and you can take your kid – who left his best friend in a vegetative state after drinking and drag racing – to a car show in Las Vegas?

Nick Hogan recently spent 166 days behind bars after pleading no contest to charges of reckless driving in an accident that left his close friend, John Graziano, critically injured. But clearly young Hogan is making up for lost time. Pop Tarts spies spotted the reality TV stars [including Nick’s dad Hulk Hogan] checking into Sin City’s Hard Rock Hotel & Casino (they’re booked until Friday) and are poised to make an appearance at SEMA, an automotive trade show.

But according to an insider, the “Hogan Knows Best” father has gone to extra lengths to make sure his son stays out of trouble by having staff book Nick a standard room right beside his VIP executive suite. There is even a mysterious man (believed to be a parole officer) lurking around them at all times.

“Hulk made a big point of saying that this was a relaxing getaway and that Nick will be taking it easy and won’t be partying,” said our source. (Well, we certainly hope by now that Nick has learned the lesson that being underage and alcohol isn’t a good combination.)

But Nick isn’t allowing his post-pokey profile to shield him away from the limelight as he reportedly pranced around the hotel happily posing for pictures, signing autographs for fans and flirting with the hot young ladies that came his way.

[From Fox News’ Pop Tarts]

In addition to the atrocity of taking his drag racing, fast car obsessed son on a nice little post prison vacation, Hulk was also stupid enough to repeat what he said on Larry King Live, noting, “There are no accidents, God has a plan that unfolds just as he wants it,” when asked about John Graziano. What a lovely way to reassure yourself that your son isn’t an asshole and you’re not a terrible person.

The thought of Nick Hogan having a good time anywhere but a prison shower is horrifying. Clearly his parents will just continue to coddle him and remain as stupid as ever.

Here’s Nick, Hulk, and Brooke Hogan leaving a medical centre in Beverly Hills in January. Images thanks to WENN.

Hulk Hogan just couldn’t be prouder of his loser son. What a great, supportive parent. Hulk told Us Weekly how much Nick learned in jail after doing 166 days for nearly killing his best friend, John Graziano, in a serious car crash. Hulk doesn’t believe in tough love or regular love or discipline. Instead he believes in telling his kids they are perfect no matter what they do, and then being surprised when they grow up to think it’s okay to nearly kill someone because you want to drive really fast on a road.

At his best, Hulk is capable of admitting that his son was good and is now great. That’s about as low as he’ll sink in his estimation of his little prince, who learned so much in jail.

Hulk Hogan is still dealing with his son, Nick’s, jail sentence for reckless driving.

“You know, I just had to regroup, and you know, just really rely on what was in my heart and what I believe in, ’cause Nick is my son 24 hours a day,” Hulk told E! Friday. “Whether he hits a home run, or whether he strikes out, he’s still my son.”

The wrestler says his estranged wife had a different attitude. “You know, Linda says because she was visiting in L.A., she’s not responsible in any way, shape or form what what happened,” he said. “Well, that’s not me.” Hulk says Nick has changed his life since getting out of jail Oct. 20.

“He was on a roll,” he said. “He was a young professional driver. He had the show going, and it all got real busy, and then when he went to jail, he got stripped of everything. He got stripped of clothes, of watches, he got stripped of his identity, and he found out what’s important in life,” Hulk added. “He knows what’s real, and what’s not real. And before he went in there, he was accountable, and he was responsible. And I think that’s what he found out in jail, the most important thing. He understands what is real life. You know, it’s about helping people, being positive, moving forward.

“He was a good kid before, he’s a great kid now,” Hulk says. “He’s not the same man he was when he went in there.”

[From Us Weekly]

The only funny thing about this whole situation is that the Hogans remain genuinely confused why everyone isn’t behind them and can’t understand why they’ve become so entirely reviled. The fact that Nick Hogan will ever have a day of happiness for the rest of his life makes me physically ill, considering how the rest of John Graziano’s days will be spent with ½ his skull gone. The Hogans have done nothing to show Nick that there are severe consequences for his actions. They’ve been too busy “being support” – which really means making excuses and acting like he’s the real victim.

Here’s Hulk Hogan at LAX in January. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.

Today I realized that it is physically impossible to write an article about Nick Hogan – or the Hogan family in general – without starting it off “Poor Nick Hogan,” followed by a bunch of comments about how hard his life is. But it is truly next to impossible to say anything about them that isn’t dripping with sarcasm. The other options are to be all-out mean or…. well to lie. There’s nothing good or redeeming to say about anyone in that family.

Brooke Hogan has the misfortune of not just being a member of that family but also being phenomenally, shockingly, “how are you able to breathe?” stupid. So she’s written a little blurb on her MySpace page about how little jailbird brother Nick is getting out of prison tomorrow. And just how hard it’s been on her. And on her family in general, but mostly it’s about Brooke, and all that she’s gone through. There’s a mention of John Graziano as an afterthought, but that’s about it.

Brooke Hogan’s brother Nick is leaving jail tomorrow – and she can’t wait. “I can’t even tell you, as a sister, how exciting this is for me!” she writes on her MySpace Celebrity page. “Nick and I are like best friends…and I can’t believe how long I’ve gone without him.”

Nick, 18, has been serving eight months in jail after pleading no contest to reckless driving charges stemming from an August 2007 crash that left his best friend, John Graziano, in critical condition. Thanks to his good behavior behind bars, he is being released from jail three months early.

“Not seeing him for six months has been really, really hard,” Brooke writes. “He always knows how to make me feel better or make me smile when I need it, and it’s been tough without having him there to hug me just at the right time, or crack a joke when I’m havin’ a bad day.”

She continues, “There have been a lot of supporters and a lot of haters that have come up to me and said things that have helped and things that made me feel like I couldn’t make it through another day… Some people wish terrible, terrible things on us and say the most nasty comments that I can’t even repeat on here… It really hurts.

“I understand people have their own opinion, but most of the people that come up to us don’t know the whole story or how much we really, really love John [the victim],” she says. “It’s really sad because we’re not bad people. We’re just going through a really hard time, and so is John’s family.

“All I ask is, instead of making this harder and putting evil things out there, you pray for John, and for us, and leave words of inspiration,” she writes. “John is gonna walk out of that hospital and things will be OK again. I know his strength, and I know he can do it with our prayers.”

Before signing off, Brooke writes, “I just can’t wait to see my Nicky! I’m gonna make him every kind of food you can possibly think of! He’s been living on bread and potatoes so far and I know some Mac-n-Cheese is gonna hit the spot! LOL”

[From Us Weekly]

Brooke already had some serious haters pointing her way before Nick nearly killed his best friend. People couldn’t stand her personality on her family’s ridiculous T.V. show – but it was her so-called singing career that really made her the butt of jokes. Along with looking like a tranny version of her father. Frankly the last thing this girl needed was more attention for people disliking her. But that’s her own doing – she’s constantly going on ridiculous MySpace rants about how awful everything has been for her family and how hard it is on them, yada yada yada. The essential point is that all that matters is the Hogans, and why doesn’t the rest of the world see that? What jerks.

I still wish really terrible things on this family, and hope every single moment of happiness that they would ever have experienced is sent the Grazianos way instead. If Brooke feels the need to request prayers, she should leave her family out of it and request that they go towards the victim, not the criminal.

Here’s Brooke Hogan outside the Setai Hotel after attending the Bejeweled Swimwear show at Funkshion Fashion Week in Miami Beach on October 1st. Images thanks to WENN.

Hulk Hogan seems to be a little confused about what generally happens after a kid goes to jail. More often than not, the parents divorce, the remaining children become violent or sexually promiscuous, and general misery befalls all who ever had the misfortune of coming into contact with the delinquent. There are a few exceptions here and there, but for the most part goodness and happiness doesn’t follow them around for the rest of their days. I think that was a misquoted and totally maimed biblical passage, but I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that Nick Hogan has wrecked his family’s lives – or whatever wasn’t totally ruined before.

But dear delusional Hulk seems to have forgotten the way this generally goes and appears to hope his family will have some kind of quasi-reconciliation. Hey, you bring the girlfriend that looks exactly like your daughter, your wife can bring her boyfriend that’s the same age as her son in juvie, and I’m sure we’ll all have a grand old time with a cookout and some type of baked goods.

Hulk Hogan is eager for his son, Nick, to be released from jail on October 21 and hopes that his family — including daughter Brooke and estranged wife Linda — will unite in support. “I don’t think there’s any reason why we shouldn’t all be friends,” Hulk, whose marriage to Linda fell apart in 2007, tells In Touch. “But other people feel differently.”

Nick, 18, was locked up on May 9 for his involvement in a car accident that permanently injured his friend John Graziano. He’s getting out three months early, thanks to credits for good behavior. “

Nick is [holding himself] accountable … He has this whole new vibe about helping people,” his dad says. “He should be free to follow his heart.” As he awaits Nick’s homecoming, Hulk is keeping busy with his new show, Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling, which premieres on October 18 on CMT. “I know Nick wants something good to eat,” Hulk tells In Touch. “And he said he wants a really, really long shower.”

[From In Touch]

Hulk is totally right. Nick should be free to follow his heart, eat a good meal, and skip through a field of bunny rabbits and daisies barefoot. All without the fear of being tackled by a group of large, angry men. And by “should” I mean “you don’t deserve a moment of good or happiness for the rest of your life you little bastard.” Or something close to that, but which fits into the sentence better.

In related news that puts to rest the whole “Is there a God” question, Brooke Hogan confirmed that she will not pose for Playboy after all. Hulk was pretty bummed. Then he made out with his girlfriend in front of his wife and everything was a-okay again.

Hulk Hogan is shown with his girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, in Miami on 4/2/08. Credit: Kadena Pix/Bauergriffinonline.com. And here are those photos of Hulk rubbing lotion on his daughter’s butt that you’ve seen ten times before, from 4/28/08. Credit: Fame Pictures.

In news that is bound to make the public-at-large cringe, Nick (Hogan) Bollea is being released from jail three months early for good behavior and holding a job in jail.  Hogan was sentenced in May to eight months in Pinellas County Jail in Clearwater, Florida for reckless driving, he’ll be a free man on October 21st.

“They automatically get credits towards early release, and if they don’t do anything bad while they’re here, they get to use the credits,” says a jail official who did not want to be identified.

People.com

It’s not preferential treatment, it’s standard procedure, but that doesn’t make it feel right.  And I don’t have to point out that John Graziano, Nick’s friend who was seriously and permanently injured in the accident that resulted from the reckless driving, doesn’t get to rack up any credits to make him a free man.

In a statement to People, Graziano’s attorney said he wasn’t surprised to hear of Hogan’s early release.

“It’s standard procedure,” he tells PEOPLE. “There is no way for us to impact his release date, that’s not within our control. It’s a formula worked out by the sheriff.”

I have a feeling Nick Hogan is going to be in for a surprise when he’s sees the formula worked out by karma.

Nick Hogan is shown out looking like a douche in LA on 1/16/08 with his dad and sister. Credit: WENN

I never knew it was possible for Hulk Hogan to acknowledge that his precious little children were anything less than absolutely perfect as they are. Hogan says incarcerated son Nick is going to come out of jail a “better man” – which implies that Hulk is actually slightly aware that Nick had some character flaws that he could improve upon. What a concept. Hulk doesn’t seem to realize the extent to which his son needs a serious personality makeover, but at least he’s acknowledged something.

Hogan also tells PEOPLE that the time in jail has helped Bollea to become a better man.

“He was moving through life and maybe not real appreciative of things,” Hogan says. “When this happened, it totally spun him in a 180. … It’s the best thing that ever happened to him. I’m not saying it’s a good thing. But it happened for a reason.”

Because his son has been participating in an inmate work program, Hogan added, Bollea is now expected to be released from jail a few days early – possibly in late October.

“Nick is doing great, and I’m so excited, because Nick is going to be a great man now,” Hogan says. “I’m proud of him.”

[From People]

Hulk is choosing his words a little more carefully, so points for that at least. He managed to say this happened to Nick to make him a better man, and held his tongue about John Graziano. He should not be proud of him at all though, and it irks me to no end the way he talks about jail like it’s therapy or something.

Some people are just douche bags. You can see it on their faces, it’s this certain expression they have. Nick is a douche bag. Surviving jail is nothing to be proud of your kid for. You should be wracked with shame and embarrassment that your son nearly killed someone. You should be utterly humiliated that your offspring did something worthy of jail time. Both of the Hogan parents continue to stroke Nick’s ego and build up his douche bagging narcissism by talking about how proud they are of him, and it’s utterly disgusting.

Here’s Hulk Hogan outside MTV TRL Studios in Times Square on January 1st. Photographer: Patricia Schlein. Images thanks to WENN.

Thank goodness the media has a diligent watchdog like Brooke Hogan to keep us on the straight and narrow. Brooke is absolutely livid at reports that she skipped jailbird brother Nick’s 18th birthday celebration. Because nothing says “You’re an adult” like getting moved to the big kid section of jail.

Brooke says she did show up – but unlike her famewhoring parents, she entered the jail through the back door. Linda Hogan brought a skateboard for her newly adult – and incarcerated – son. In college I volunteered in a state prison, and we weren’t even allowed to enter wearing underwire bras because the wire could be taken out and used as a weapon. But Linda Hogan seemed to think a skateboard would make it through security.

It’s her brother’s birthday – and Brooke Hogan will cry if she wants to. The 20-year-old lashed out at “stupid people of the press” on her MySpace blog for claiming she skipped her sib Nick Bollea’s 18th birthday behind bars on Sunday. She seethed:

Heres how stupid and inaccurate the media can be…
According to the press I didn’t show up to my brothers 18th birthday at the jail.
Lets see…
*hes in jail
*Its an important birthday…the big 18!!!
*I’m only a 4 hour drive to Tampa
*He’s the most important thing in my life.

They must have thought I didn’t show cause they didn’t SEE me.
uhh…there’s such thing as a back door you jerks.

Sunday served as a reunion for the Hogan clan, as Hulk and his estranged wife Linda — whom he recently dubbed “the most formidable opponent I’ve ever encountered” — visited their son in jail.

[From Us Weekly]

Brooke’s present to Nick was flying in a woman he was “very fond of,” according to E! News. At least that’s more meaningful than a skateboard. Brooke also told E! that although she was next to her mother Linda for an hour, the two never spoke or had eye contact.

It’s so tragic when such a lovely, wonderful family falls apart for no reason. I’m not gloating, I swear.

Here’s Brooke and Nick at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas in October. Photographer: Chris Connor. Images thanks to WENN.

In an interview with Access Hollywood earlier in the month, Brooke Hogan revealed that fellow inmates have talked smack to her brother Nick in jail, but that he hasn’t been “physically harmed.” She said he could hold his own and that he’s been able to tell people bothering him to back off. Nick is serving 8 months in jail for his role in a car accident in which his passenger, an Iraq war veteran, was left in a permanent vegetative state. Nick was driving drunk underage last August and drag racing on a public street when he crashed into a tree and escaped unharmed, seriously injuring his friend next to him. Nick and his family have never taken responsibility for his role in the crash and have consistently blamed the victim, pointing out that he was not wearing his seatbelt and that calling him a “negative person” and his injuries “God’s will.”

It’s pretty clear now why Nick’s contact with other inmates has been limited to verbal altercations – up until now he’s been in a juvenile detention facility housed with other inmates under 18. So all that bitching he was doing about being in solitary confinement and not being able to take it in jail had to do with his confinement with other kids. He’s about to get a bitter taste of reality, though, as he just turned 18 and will be transferred to an adult jail with hardened criminals:

Turning 18 has its benefits — you get to vote, you can join the Army, and, if you’re Nick Bollea, you get transferred to a full-blown adult jail.

Bollea, who has been housed with other juveniles at Pinellas County Jail, will be moved to an adult facility on Sunday, aka his 18th birthday. It’s an open dormitory type of setting where he’ll be in close contact with other adult inmates. The inmates are either awaiting sentencing or have already been sentenced in cases ranging from misdemeanors to felonies.

The only way this won’t go down is if a judge orders otherwise. He’ll be released sometime in October.

[From TMZ]

Nick does need to go to real jail for his crime, but we all know what happens in those places and I would never wish rape on anyone. Maybe they’ll put him in a separate area or in solitary so that he’s protected from the rest of the population. Other 18 year-olds who nearly kill their best friends driving drunk don’t get such special treatment, though, and Nick doesn’t deserve it just because he’s a minor celebrity.

Picture note by JayBird: Nick Hogan is pictured at his sentencing hearing on May 13th. It’s hard to believe he’s just turning 18, looking at that forehead. Images thanks to Splash.

Brooke Hogan performing on 9/2/07. Credit: PRPhotos
Brooke Hogan appeared on Access Hollywood last night in the first segment in a two part interview, shown below. I expected to feel more pure malice toward her than I did while watching her defend her family’s behavior toward the vegetative victim of her brother’s drunken car crash. As it is, she seemed like a clueless self-absorbed twit. Of course she would defend the inexcusable actions of her family above justice and reality because that’s all she knows. She’s loyal above all else, and while some may call that dumb others find that trait admirable in its single-mindedness.

Maria Menounos asked some pointed questions about Brooke’s family including the one that many of you are clamoring to know: Has Nick been physically harmed in jail?

Brooke says she “almost had a little bit of a breakdown” about her brother and that “my brother and I are inseparable. I’m always used to protecting him.”

As for whether Nick has been physically harmed in jail, she said “not physically harmed, but kids have confronted him about it… he knows how to handle it and basically say[s] ‘back off’”

On the jail releasing Nick’s phone calls while Paris Hilton’s jailhouse calls remained private
She said “I don’t know if legally they’re allowed to do that. Paris Hilton and all these other people haven’t had their tapes released.”

On her father and Nick blaming the victim, John Graziano, for his injuries: “I don’t know about that”
John Graziano will probably remain in a vegetative state for the rest of his life and is literally missing half his skull. In the tapes released by the jail of Nick’s phone calls, and in a follow-up appearance on Larry King, Brooke’s dad Hulk Hogan blamed John for his injuries. Nick had a .05 alcohol level two hours after speed racing on a public street in Clearwater, Florida last August, crashing his high-performance Supra into a tree. Hulk claimed that the resulting injuries to Nick’s passenger, John, were somehow God’s will to make John a “betttr person”

When Menounos asked Brooke about a taped phone conversation between her father and Nick in jail, in which Nick called John “a negative person,” Brooke chalked that up to the fact that Nick is serving 8 months in jail for his crime.

“All I can really say is that he was in solitary confinement. Hardened criminals can’t even stay in there for a couple of days.

“When he’s going crazy over the phone saying ‘I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make it in here’ you just tell him anything tangible that he can attach to.”

Menounos asked “What about the comment about John?”

Brooke, “I don’t really know about that. I just know that my family has total love for John.”

Access Hollywood notes that Brooke is working on recording a new album and on her latest reality show for VH1, “Brooke Knows Best.” One thing Brooke definitely knows is how to blame other people and external circumstances for indefensible behavior by her brother.

Brooke’s parents Nick and Linda are in the process of a divorce which involves inappropriate younger partners for each of them and a lot of accusations on both sides. Brooke’s follow up interview to air tonight will surely focus on that.

Here’s the clip of the show:

A few months ago some paparazzi pictures came out of Hulk Hogan rubbing suntan lotion on his daughter’s ass. It was mildly disturbing, to say the least, and generated more than a few comments, mostly along the lines of ‘Help me! My eyes! My eyes!’

Anyway, daughter Brooke says that it’s okay when her dad rubs lotion on her behind, because her ass is like a car.

“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like he’s touching an old car,” the singer tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“He used to change my diaper!” she adds.

Us Weekly

Brooke is on the cover of Maxim magazine looking surprisingly good, and now that she’s fighting with her mom she’s obviously back to being on good terms with her dad again following their falling out about his relationship with her former best friend, because he came with her to her Maxim shoot.

You can view the video below, where Hulk tells the camera that when Brooke was 17 he wouldn’t let Maxim take sexy pictures of her, but now that’s she’s nearly 20 it’s okay. I have no explanation for this logic, except I guess she’s of legal age now. Frankly, if I ever get the offer of a Maxim shoot, and I’m expecting it any day now, I not even going to show my father the pictures, let alone invite him to the photo shoot. I guess Brooke might have taken her mother with her, but she’s not talking to her.

Brooke looks surprisingly good in the photos for Maxim, and in the video she’s seen kissing and fooling about with unidentified skinny guy. The rumors of her engagement continue but apparently she feels that with Nick incarcerated she shouldn’t be celebrating and she’s gong to wait until he is released to break the news to the world. Her wedding won’t be featured on her reality show, unless it really bombs and then she’ll do it to get ratings boost.

Note by Celebitchy: The thing that bothered me about those pictures is that her dad was touching her ass for one, but also that it’s a place she can easily reach herself. You ask people to apply sunblock to the places you can’t reach, and there’s really no reason for him to be touching her butt at all.