Heather Mills, of course, had to open her big mouth to deny that she was a high paid hooker back in the 80s and early 90s, as was reported in convincing detail yesterday in The News of the World.

Mills says she’s going to sue News of the World, uh, when her divorce is final. Yeah, right. She’s just threatening legal action to make it look like the story’s false, but she won’t take it to court because she can’t prove it’s not true.

Now TWO more books have come out showing Heather nude and simulating sex . We can’t wait to hear how she’s going to address these pictures, because you know she’s going to say something stupid trying to defend herself:

Some readers think McCartney is funding the research into Heather’s raunchy past in order to avoid losing a significant portion of his estate in the divorce. This seems like the most plausible explanation to us. The papers are saying how surprised and devastated he is by all this, which sounds a bit too put-on for our taste. Reader Millie thinks that the British press might just be out for blood now that the divorce is underway. Either way, Heather needs to shut up and hide out until this passes over. She’s coming off as an even less sympathetic character.

Here are Heather and Paul on the celebrity edition of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” He looks quite uncomfortable, and it is said that Heather forced him to do the show. She leans away from Paul and her body language is telling.

That video is part one of three.
Part two of “Who wants to be a Millionaire” with Paul and Heather
Part three of “Who wants to be a Millionaire” with Paul and Heather

And here are the raunchy pictures.

The National Enquirer says that Angelina is freaking out because she had sex with someone else right around the time she conceived Shiloh and that Brad Pitt might not be her biological father!

If Brad is a cuckhold (I just love using that word) that’s obviously much worse than having to deal with moving around the world at your girlfriend’s whim, and he might not put up with it!

The Enquirer could have made this up in order to move copies, but given Angelina’s sexual past it’s kind of believable. That’s incredible! At least the baby is passably Brads for now. We’ll have to see what she looks like when she grows into her features.

Here’s the latest real picture of the world’s most famous couple and baby from People Magazine. (Thanks Millie!)
The rest of the pictures come out in People this Friday, June 9th.

Thanks to Tabloid Whore for the story.

Heather Mills says that sex book she posed for in the 80s wasn’t hardcore porn at all - it was just an innocent “Lover’s Guide” meant to help frigid Germans better connect with their significant others.

It seems like the poses in the book are effective, because the guy she’s pictured with says he made sweet love to her afterwards:

There’s also no way that book is just a how-to manual, since there is no text in it that would add even a smidgeon of legitimacy to Mills’ claim.

The Sun asked everyday people to review it for uh, educational content, and they were unanimous that it’s porn:

The more details we learn, the more it seems like the leak of these dirty pictures is definitely beneficial to Sir Paul, even if he didn’t get joint custody of his daughter.

Heather Mills McCartney, 38, is estranged from her husband Paul McCartney, 63, due in part to her jealousy over his extreme fame. She was a “model” before she met him, and gained notoriety after losing her leg in a road accident in 1993.

Britain’s The Sun has dug up porny pictures of Mills that were published in a German book:

[via]

A friend of mine thinks that these photos were released by Paul McCartney’s people in an effort to discredit Mills before her high profile divorce is underway. We just think The Sun is crafy and wants to sell papers.

Heather is said to have fled to Yugoslavia to escape the press after news of her split with Paul McCartney. She was said to be planning a return to modeling, but we bet that will be put on hold now that these pictures have come out.

Here are some more pictures. You can get topless versions on The Sun’s website. They look pretty tame, but suitably embarassing and scandal-worthy.

When I think of PeeWee Herman, I have to concentrate to remember the skinny pale guy in a bowtie with the weird laugh. That’s because the first image that comes to mind is his disheveled mugshot.

Kevin Costner is lucky there is no photographic evidence of the fact that he jerked off while having a massage, because we might still think of the hot suave Costner from Bull Durham. When pictures like this of him come out, though, it’s easy to imagine him doing the deed. (Although if you try and substitute old creepy Costner with young baseball player Costner it’s kind of hot.)

The story is that Costner is said to have jerked off in front of a horrified female masseuse while honeymooning at a Scottish resort in 2004. Everyone speculated it was Costner a while ago, but the actor’s involvement was confirmed, at least according to his accuser, when the court lifted privacy restrictions on the case last week.

One of Costner’s exes has come to his defense, stupidly claiming that the hotel worker must have been rejected by Costner and is going through all this trouble to get back at him:

Clearly this woman remembers the younger, hotter Costner of yore. Maybe that guy wouldn’t have dared to get off in front of a bewildered masseuse, but creepy Costner didn’t care.

Here is Costner performing with his new “garage band” at the BMW Charity Pro-Am golf event in Greenville, South Carolina on April 29th. Costner was the “headliner” celebrity golfing at the event. Other stars involved included hockey great “Wayne Gretzky and Brett Hull, quarterback John Elway, actresses Catherine Bell and Janet Jones-Gretzky, and actors “Cheech” Marin and John O’Hurley.”

The Sun has pictures of Pete Doherty injecting heroin into a passed-out woman on his kitchen floor. Kate Moss is shown in another photo sleeping on a bed at Doherty’s house, but she wasn’t there when he drugged the unconscious fan. The pictures were said to be taken in the “past five weeks”:

Doherty was placed on 2 years probation and received orders to attend 18 months of outpatient rehab in drugs posession case last week. He was arrested again on drugs charges on the same day he was sentenced, and was let out on bail.

We thought Doherty might be cleaning up slightly, as he was praised for his efforts by the judge at his sentencing and he bragged of his sobriety at a recent concert. He might be trying, but he won’t escape his past without a great deal of effort.

The Sun website says that you have to buy the print version to get the pictures. Once they’re online, we’ll post them. In the meantime Here are pictures of Doherty at a Babyshambles gig on 4/26.

The NY Post is embroiled in a scandal involving a senior editor of Page Six, Jared Paul Stern, asking for huge bribes in exchange for positive reporting. The news on Page Six seems to be going downhill fast. Although it is Monday and gossip is harder to find, we can’t help looking at the NY rag with an overly-critical eye. It seems like they could make up anything at this point.

Of course that’s true about most newspapers lately. Scandals involving plaguarizing journalists rocked USA Today, The New York Times, and The New Republic in the last few years.

Page Six is seriously lame today, and leads with a story of “dueling dwarf bands.” They did have this gem, though: evil bitch Naomi Campbell may appear on Oprah to cleanse her soul. She’s also said to be fighting with Diddy after she pulled out of his cooking show. Now why would he still want her to come? She must be fabulous at tenderizing:

You know Oprah is not going to be as hard on Naomi as she was on James Fry. Maybe Jared Paul Stern should go on Oprah to redeem himself too. He can sit there looking at his hands and act as if he’s sorry that Page Six made up all those stories to try to embezzle money out of innocent billionaries and socialites.

The NY Daily News says that Page Six’s positive coverage of “Girls Gone Wild” mogul Joe Francis was totally influenced by Francis’ star treatment of another Daily News coumnist, Richard Johnson. Francis held a lavish bachelor party for Johnson at his resort in Mexico and flew in all of Johnson’s friends on his private jet. Page Six had a glowing report on Francis that ran afterwards, saying that he wanted to get into publishing to become “the next Hugh Hefner.”

Page Six is also said to have a chummy relationship with richie Ron Perelman, who recently jilted his wife Ellen Barkin.

Buh-bye to that shitty rag.

The rumors that Nicole Kidman, 38, and Keith Urban, 38, are getting hitched seem to come up frequently, but this time there’s a decent reason: Nicole has been granted an annulment from her 11 year marriage to Tom Cruise. This clears the way for her to marry again in a Catholic ceremony.

It is also rumored that Kidman’s parents want her to make Urban sign a prenupital agreement so that he can’t get his hands on her fortune.

Meanwhile there’s supposed to be a scandalous reason behind Nicole and Tom’s divorce that may be revealed by the surveillance tapes that were seized in an FBI investigation of the private eye that Tom hired to snoop on Nicole. No one seems to know what the scandal is exactly, so the mere existence of one doesn’t mean that it’s newsworthy.

The Enquirer will report that online casino Golden Palace, famous for its offbeat eBay purchases, has paid a mere $40,000 for nude pictures of Britney Spears. The pictures were taken when Britney was a teenager:

Britney can take heart, her old nude pictures are worth more than the holy Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese and William Shatner’s kidney stone, which went for $28,000 and $25,000 respectively.

Golden Palace has yet to announce the purchase of Britney’s pictures on their website.

Picture [via]