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Cele|bitchy Archives
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Celebitchy Archives: Weak
Jul
10
Robbie Williams treated for sex exhaustion


British singer and cad Robbie Williams was said to have had sex with so many young ladies while on his latest tour that he needed to be treated for exhaustion. The Sun reports that he bedded four ladies in five days:


But all that lovemaking made him so weary he had to call for first aid on Thursday morning.

A doctor examined him and decided he needed an energy-boosting vitamin shot in his bum to make him fit enough for a gig that night.

He later told the crowd at Copenhagen’s Parken national stadium in Denmark: “I had to get a needle in my a*** this morning. It was because I didn’t want to let you down, brothers and sisters.”

A few weeks ago Robbie was complaining that he couldn’t find a girlfriend. Now he is back in the saddle big time.

Robbie pulled a pair of sisters in Gothenburg, Sweden, on Saturday — although only one of them stayed over.

On Sunday night he chatted up a blonde Swedish doctor who he spotted in the audience when he was on stage.

I’ve managed to get hold of the first picture of Marie Annerstedt who Robbie picked out after spotting she had scrawled Snog Me I’m a doctor across her ample chest.

Then, on Tuesday night, Robbie copped off with a redhead Dane in Copenhagen. The next evening, after the France v Portugal semi-final in the World Cup, Robbie picked up a cute blonde Danish girl. He is clearly enjoying his success with the fairer sex.

Robbie is out of shape from too much smoking if he can't perform with one woman a day. Jamie Foxx slept with four women all at once and still managed to make out with more on stage.

That woman who wrote "I'm a doctor - shag me" on her chest was probably put up to it by her friends and didn't expect to even get to talk to Robbie, not to mention fuck him. Everything I know about picking up rock stars I learned from "Almost Famous" and some documentary featuring those chicks who made plaster casts of the big rock stars' penises. It seems like you have to be mysterious and cool, or have some sort of angle to land a rock star for the night.

Robbie must be a straightforward guy who is just taking what he gets if he's going for the easy prey. Robbie said earlier that he had a hard time getting laid because women were naturally wary of him, so he's undoubtedly grateful for his good luck while on tour.

Here are pictures of Robbie at The Max Beesley Gala Dinner on June 4th and one outside his hotel in Amsterdam on June 20th. I'm not too up on British celebrities, and need to get ready for my trip, so you'll excuse me for not identifying everyone. I do think I spot Simon Le Bon. Pictures [via]

Posted to Photos | Robbie Williams | Sex | Weak

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Jun
09
Heath Ledger cried like a baby after the squirtgun incident


Poor Heath Ledger. First his girlfriend tells everyone how upsetting it was to him that his hot naked pictures got leaked onto the 'net, and now his dad reveals that getting squirted with water by the paparrazi made him cry all night and move out of Australia. In related news, his dad's name is Kim:

Kim Ledger told how his heart broke when Heath called just hours after the January incident, saying he wanted to sell his Bronte home and move to the US.

"Heath had to go into the cinema and introduce that film soaking wet. He cried all night," the automotive engineer said after the weekend's NSW Dutton Car Rally. "He rang me and said, 'Dad, that's it - sell the house'."

Mr Ledger, who lives in Perth but bought the $4.45 million beachside home for his only son in 2004, told Heath to think about it for 48 hours.

"Two days later he rang me back and said, 'Dad, it's been 47 hours and 57 minutes - sell the house'," he said.

[via]

Ledger is going to be so pissed that he dad revealed that he cried over this. Unlike Tom Cruise's angry response to getting squirted on the red carpet, Ledger was said to be "unruffled" by the incident. He must hold everything inside until it eats him up, just like his character in "Brokeback Mountain."

Breaking down and moving out of town because some photographers get pissy with you is a response way out of proportion to the incident. He was said to have spit on the guys, so getting hit with some watergun spray is a pretty mild consequence. Maybe he'll grow up and quit being so sensitive after he realizes how foolish this makes him look.

Why would his dad reveal that about him though? He could be pissed that he's not seeing his granddaughter much since Ledger is so afraid of travelling to Australia and getting sprayed with more water.

Posted to Heath Ledger | Weak

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Jun
07
Jennifer Aniston bawled like a baby 'cause she can't have one


Jennifer Aniston is said to have broken down in tears upon hearing that little Shiloh had seen the light of day. This sounds like crap someone would make up, and I have very little faith in the British rags, so take it for what it is:

Aniston, 37, tried to be brave about the news, which broke two weeks ago, by calling Pitt's mother Jane to send her best wishes.

But pals are concerned the former "Friends" star is still traumatized over Pitt's new life with Angelina Jolie.

Aniston's friend Tiffany Laws tells Britain's Star magazine, "Jen just burst into tears.

"She tried to cover it up in front of Vince but he assured her it was OK to cry.

"Jen called Brad's mom to offer her congratulations but couldn't get through.

"I think she had the feeling, 'That could have been my baby.'"

This could be true, but it's too personal for a friend to blab about to some random British gossip rag and we doubt it.

Jen may say she wants children but she balked when asked by Regis if she ever babysits Courtney Cox's daughter, Coco, practically shouting "No!".

The good news for Jen is that her career may be salvaged even if she is indifferent and infertile. "The Break Up" did much better than expected at the box office and bested "X-Men 3" despite terrible reviews.

Here she is at a press conference for "The Breakup" in Sydney. Thanks to Hollywood's Best for these photos.

Posted to Angelina Jolie | Babies | Brad Pitt | Jennifer Aniston | Vince Vaughn | Weak

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May
30
James Blunt banned from radio station


A British radio station has blanned James Blunt's trite repetitive music from the air - saying that listeners don't like it and they need a break.

Blunt defended his music at an awards ceremony last week, telling his critics to switch over if they didn't like his songs.

However, now Essex FM has gone one better by banishing him from the airwaves. The radio station's listeners say they are sick of hearing Blunt's hits You're Beautiful and Goodbye My Lover everywhere they go.

"We don't have anything against James Blunt and we're pleased he has been so successful, but we really need a break," said programme controller Chris Cotton. "While his songs have been very popular, there is a tremendous amount of industry pressure to play certain artists frequently.

"Often this can be out of step with the audience's tastes. We're happy to stand up to this pressure and follow the strong message listeners have given us. We encourage other radio stations to take the same step."

People hate Blunt enough to demand that a radio station stops playing him, and even the station manager admits that Blunt's popularity does not reflect popular taste.

James Blunt's boring Hallmark card music used to suck even worse - he's being sued by a producer who claims that he reworked six songs on Blunt's album "Back to Bedlam." The producer has a good reputation in the industry, having worked with Dido in the past. He says that Blunt lacks musical skill and needed a lot of his assistance on the album but screwed him out of any royalties once he hit it big.

Here's Blunt with his trademark dumb ass look on the Today Show yesterday morning. He is also shown at the Ivor Novello Awards on 5/29. He looks really high. That must be how he copes with his lack of talent.


Posted to James Blunt | Music | Weak

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May
23
Breaking: Jennifer Aniston isn't wearing black in public; has no future in film


Jennifer Aniston must be able to take an oft-repeated hint, because she attended the LA premiere of "The Break Up" wearing a color other than black. She chose a formfitting white and beige tube dress that looked gorgeous on her. Is this the start of Aniston's comeback? Maybe, but it's doubtful.

The NY Post repeats a report from Hollywood Elsewhere writer Jeffrey Wells, who says that "The Break Up" has not been well received in initial audience tests, and Aniston's status as box office poison may soon be cemented. The Post say that Wells may be misinterpreting the data, but Wells says that Page Six threatened to reveal his source for the tracking numbers of the film, which is despicable.

Wells explains the film's tracking numbers, which help predict a film's box office potential:

Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston's romantic discord comedy, isn't tracking. With only twelve days to go before opening, that means the game is pretty much over. Definite interest is at 30, 1st choice is 5...it's finished. I'm told that while audiences enjoy Vaughn in an off-the-wall mode, they don't want to see him in semi-romantic parts. This is bad news for Aniston also because now she's 0 for 4 -- Derailed, Rumor Has It , Friends with Money and now this thing. She's all but kaput as a big-screen, big-bucks player. She's not particularly sexy, not perky, not a gifted comedienne...and she always seems to play parts in an introspective, low-energy way. I'm not deriving any joy from saying this, but Aniston is probably one or two steps away from competing with Helen Hunt for HBO roles.

That's not really news about Aniston, considering that all of her movies have sucked and she's pretty much disliked by everyone. If only she could keep her mouth shut. She blabbed to Britians' Mirror that there are couples who should break up. She also said even more crap about Brad and Angelina:

"People are very lazy and it's very easy," she says. "Things are just more disposable. There's not a lot of value put on relationships."

"Who knows if people should have stayed in relationships? My parents certainly shouldn't have stayed married - and they didn't. Other people have stayed married ... and they shouldn't have."

Then she adds, somewhat wryly: "You have to put a lot of work into it and exhaust every option before you split up."

The end of Brad and Jennifer's five year marriage last year - presumably after every option had been exhausted - saw the Troy star hook up with Angelina Jolie, his co-star on the movie, Mr and Mrs Smith.

The drama of the split played out over several months with Jennifer grieving in the privacy of her Malibu home comforted only by her elderly dog, Norman.

She underwent therapy but refused to discuss her feelings in public except to say she was "shocked" when she saw newspaper photographs of Brad and Angelina frolicking on an African beach.

"I wasn't aware of a lot that was going on between them [Brad and Angelina] because it was easier not to pay attention to it," she says. "So much of it was fabricated and I felt it was creating unnecessary suffering to even go into that world at all.

"I wish there was a way to get used to it, but it was a weird time."

That's perfectly natural and understandable, and people would care if they hadn't heard it from Aniston over and over again. How surprising that Aniston doesn't have a successful film career. People must not like sour grapes - go figure!

Here she is at the LA premiere of "The Break Up" last night. Her poses looked forced and awkward on the red carpet, but at least she changed her look. It seems like it's too late for poor Aniston, though.

Pictures [via]

Posted to Emotional | Jennifer Aniston | Weak

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May
22
Kate Moss kicks Pete Doherty's ass!


Kate Moss was so pissed off about Pete Doherty's blood squirting stunt that she asked him to come over to her place. When he arrived she promptly kicked his ass!

KATE MOSS beat up on-off boyfriend PETE DOHERTY in a mad frenzy after reading how he sprayed his blood at two MTV cameramen. The supermodel summoned the BABYSHAMBLES frontman to her north London home and set on him after reading about his antics after a gig in Berlin, Germany last week (ends12MAY06). After arriving at her St John's Wood pad at 5 am Moss began kicking and punching him in the street. Doherty says, "She was angry about the blood spraying thing. She beat the crap out of me. She layed into me punching and kicking. "I'm alright, but she hurt my finger. I couldn't do anything back, because she's a girl."

At least Doherty didn't fight back, but we doubt the junkie would have had the strength even if he wanted to. Moss shouldn't have even bothered with Doherty, though. Why doesn't she just ignore him? She's supposed to be dating comic Russell Brand now anyway.

Meanwhile Doherty's antics have lead his record label, Rough Trade, to drop his group Babyshambles. An source is quoted as saying: "Rough Trade were in the process of renegotiating a deal, but the talks broke down because it just proved to be so difficult to deal with Pete and the people he surrounds himself with."

Maybe losing his record label will help Pete follow-through on kicking heroin as he's been planning. It won't be easy, but he needs it desperately.

Here's Kate in a Primal Scream video:

Posted to Abusive | Addictions | Drugs | Kate Moss | Music | Pete Doherty | Video | Weak

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May
19
Daniel Craig is not only a wuss - he's fat!


New Bond Daniel Craig can't play cards or drive a stick shift, and he doesn't like guns or speedboats. He also demands baby lotion and nail files, and got a widdle rash while filming "Casino Royale" in the sun.

He's going to redeem himself with full frontal nudity and a lot of hot sex scenes for the film, and at least he's super-buff and has a great six-pack going for him - or maybe not. He loved the dumplings so much while filming in Prague that producers were forced to hire him a personal trainer:

Producers of the new JAMES BOND movie, CASINO ROYALE, were forced to hire a personal trainer for star DANIEL CRAIG after he became obsessed with dumplings while filming in the Czech Republic. Craig sported a muscular physique when he was photographed earlier this year (06) in a bathing suit on location in the Bahamas. But since the production moved to Prague, the actor has reportedly piled on the pounds after becoming enamoured with the local cuisine, particularly dumplings and borscht. Producer BARBARA BROCCOLI was so alarmed by the star's weight gain she immediately hired a personal trainer. Film sources maintain the superspy is now back in peak condition.
[via]

OMG - he almost ruined his single qualification for playing Bond! He's back in shape now, though, but the guy doesn't have a clue. Maybe the movie will be hot, though, and we'll see it just to get a glimpse.

Pictures [via Just Jared]

Posted to Daniel Craig | Movies | Weak | Weight Gain

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May
18
Audrey Tautou says she's going to quit acting


In what sounds like a response to critics panning her new film, "The DaVinci Code," French actress Audrey Tautou, best known as the cutesy meddler in "Amelie," says that she's going to quit acting:

The French actress told Grazia magazine: "When I started acting, I had the idea that I would continue until I'm 40.

"Now, after doing The Da Vinci Code, I'm probably ready to quit at 30.

"I know I'm not the best actress in the world and not the worst but I think that maybe I'd be happier doing something that doesn't leave me so exposed."

She sounds like a sensitive person and she's probably quite hurt by the bad reviews of "DaVinci Code."

Hopefully she's just being reactionary and won't quit anytime soon. One bad film is not a good enough reason to throw away an acting career. She's only 27, and has a good three years left in her by her own account, anyway.

Here she is looking cute and just a little bit flirty with Tom Hanks at a DaVinci Code photo call, and at the premiere and after party for the film. She is also shown in stills from the movie.

Posted to Audrey Tautou | Movies | Premieres | Weak

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May
16
David Blaine plans jungle stunt, world yawns


David Blaine does not want to die known as the man who failed to break the world record for holding one's breath after living in a snow globe in Lincoln Center for a week. He wants to be known as the man mauled by lions on reality television:

Illusionist David Blaine is to live "harmoniously' in the jungle for his next stunt.

The magician plans to be left "alone" in the Tanzanian jungle where 150 people are attacked by wild lions a year with just a TV crew present to film his actions.

Blaine narrowly escaped death during his last stunt where he was suspended in a giant fishbowl for a week. The illusionist hoped to end this extravagant display by beating the world record for holding your breath underwater, currently held by Tom Zitas.

However, he fell short of the world record, which stands at 8 minutes 58 seconds, after passing out after around 7 minutes.

Blaine is currently recuperating after suffering from liver failure and severe [sic] caused by the aquatic stunt.

He probably feels like he failed or whatever, and "let the people down" as his physician said, but the guy got a lot of attention and he really gave it his all. It's only been a week since he got out of the bubble. He's probably afraid of slipping into obscurity.

His last gig was bringing magic to libraries as the spokesperson for the 2006 New York City summer reading program, so his fears are well founded.

He sound have kids and then he will realize how immortality is attained - through genetics.

Posted to Addictions | David Blaine | Weak

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May
16
Paris Hilton gives a dumb excuse for forgetting Mother's Day


I saw some pictures on WENN photo yesterday of Paris and Nicky Hilton pumping gas and getting ready to go to Mother's Day dinner with their mom, and I honest thought "Where is their gift?" (The pictures are low-quality watermarked, but you can see what I mean in the last two rows, below. Look at how messy their car is!)

Now Paris' rep claims that a bag containing $10,000 worth of gifts for ther mom for mother's day was "stolen" from in front of the Hilton mansion:

Paris Hilton's mother can only imagine what her celebrity daughter got her for Mother's Day. That's because thieves stole the gifts before Kathy Hilton received them.

A gift bag containing nearly $10,000 worth of Christian Dior shoes, sunglasses, handbags and perfume was taken from outside the Hilton home, spokesman Elliot Mintz said Monday.

The younger Hilton "spent three or four hours shopping to put together this wonderful collection of things for her mom," Mintz said.

A delivery person set the package down outside the home's gate to ring the intercom when a passenger in a passing car snatched the gifts.

"A fellow just whizzed by and grabbed the package," Mintz said.

The Hilton family celebrated Mother's Day by going out to dinner, he said.

Now, it's totally possible that this happened, but it sounds like a typical excuse for forgetting to get your mom anything for Mother's Day. We know that Paris and Nicky went shopping on Saturday as they were photographed going to Kitson, but Kitson is a trendy casual store and doesn't sell Christian Dior items. They didnt have any bags with them that would suggest they got anything else. Maybe they went somewhere else, too, but we doubt it. The paparrazi follow them everywhere, and they would have been easily spotted at an upscale boutique if they actually did all this heavy shopping for their mom. Also, why would they have gifts delivered if they were going to see their mother on Sunday? Wouldn't they bring the gifts with them?

There's something about Paris' mom, Kathy, that makes you feel sorry for her. Sure she has more advantages in life than large portions of the planet combined, but she just seems needy and unfulfilled. Her family must take her for granted, but at least they had a nice dinner together on Sunday.

Here are Paris and Nicky on Saturday outside of Kitson and on Mother's Day outside the Ivy restaurant. It's nice that Paris is pumping her own gas. [via] and [via] Paris, Nicky and their mom Kathy are shown at "The Race to Erase MS," above.

Posted to Nicky Hilton | Paris Hilton | SmartSmartSmart | Weak

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May
13
"Just My Luck" Just Sucks


The critics have weighed in on Lindsay Lohan's new film, "Just My Luck," and the verdict is that it royally sucks. It only has a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. In comparison Paris Hilton's horror film, "House of Wax," is rated a whopping 24%.

Some choice quotes from Rotten Tomatoes:

"Looking tired and sallow and drained of her customary glow, Lindsay Lohan marches grimly through this mechanical tween comedy as if it were a particularly tedious homework assignment." -- Ella Taylor, L.A. WEEKLY

"Every single scene is an abominable assemblage of mind-boggling stupidity, completely unmotivated behavior, and unfunny slapstick." -- Eric D. Snider, ERICDSNIDER.COM

"A romantic comedy neither romantic nor particularly funny."-- Dustin Putman, THEMOVIEBOY.COM

"A romantic comedy even more idiotic than its embarrassing (and somewhat creepy) poster would indicate."
-- Connie Ogle, MIAMI HERALD

"It's difficult to say whether [Lohan's character] is more grating when she's cursed and whiny or when she's blessed and oblivious." -- Sean Means, SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

Sorry, Lindsay, your movie sucks. People also apparently hate you. Lindsay topped a Star magazine poll of the most hateable celebrities, beating Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline by a healthy margin.

Here she is with "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis, who just celebrated his birthday with a celebrity-attended bash at Six Flags in LA on Thursday. [via] She's also shown shopping in Beverly Hills on May 10th [via]

Posted to Lindsay Lohan | Movies | Weak

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May
10
Vince Vaughn on "Oprah": Jen's "one of my favorite people" (update: video)


In an appearance on today's "Oprah," Vince Vaughn sort of acknowledged his relationship with co-star Jennifer Aniston when questioned directly, but he gave the old "Jen's my friend" response earlier in the interview:

Vince speaks highly of his Break-Up co-star, whom he is also dating. "Jennifer's great. She's one of my favorite people," says Vince. "She's just really smart and funny and easy to be with—very considerate. She's great."

Even though they're hounded by the press and there's a lot of controversy over Pitt leaving Aniston for Angelina Jolie, you think Vaughn could come up with a better way to handle it than to act like he's just buddies with his live-in girlfriend. He told David Letterman about a week ago that "I'm not saying we are or aren't a couple. I think she's great, but I just don't discuss whether we are."

That's weird and most celebrities at least acknowledge their significant other without getting into too much detail. It's strange that Vaughn is referring to Aniston like a friend's sister or someone he just happens to know, and it doesn't make their relationship seem too secure.

When Oprah asked Vince if he considered having children with Aniston, he didn't jump back into his "just friends" mantra and seemed to acknowledge that he's with her. He said there's no way he's having kids with her, though:

Does Vince want to have kids? "At some point I would," says Vince. "I've always liked kids a lot—but no plans for the future. First we have to have the $8 million wedding!"

Has Vince discussed having kids with Jennifer? "No, I have not talked about having kids with Jennifer," he says. "I think [having children] takes a lot of focus, takes a lot of attention. I think it would be nice at some point to have a different priority in something else as you've sort of done stuff and challenged yourself, I think that time would come. But not any time in the near future for me, I don't think."

It doesn't sound like VInce wants to stay in his relationship. Any guy his age who wants kids but doesn't want them with their girlfriend - just doesn't want to be with their girlfriend.

Aniston is said to have asked Vince to give up a role that would have required him to film abroad for three months, suggesting that she's just as clingy and whiny as everyone thinks she is.

Aniston is also said to be devastated by the artsy pictures of Brad and Angelina on the beach in Namibia that came out a couple weeks ago. She was nearly in tears and said that Brad never looked that happy with her. It's just a matter of time before Vince wises up, too.

Here is Vince on Oprah. Thanks to marthaz on the JJB board for pointing these out.

Update: Video segment of Vince on Oprah:


Posted to Jennifer Aniston | Oprah | Relationship trouble | Vince Vaughn | Weak

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May
05
James Blunt is very poorly endowed

headshot of James Blunt with the caption: You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
We obviously dislike James Blunt and zealously report negative news about him. The latest is that the woman he cheated on his hapless now-ex girlfriend with says he has an itty bitty peter:

WORD of advice: Never cross Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Just days after revealing that James Blunt is a lousy lover, the posh babe has dropped a big hint why - he hasn't got much to crow about the manhood department.

Tara, 34, who now calls the Brit winner James c*** after he reportedly slept with her behind the back of girlfriend Camilla Boler Tara stormed: "Let's just say the whole experience was small in every sense of the word."

Blunt broke up with his girlfriend over the phone after lying to her and saying he didn't cheat with Tomkinson.

Tomkinson also says Blunt has been trying to contact her, but that she's not going there again. Maybe Jessica Simpson will get word of this and let go of her foolish crush on the untalented singer.

Posted to James Blunt | Music | Weak

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May
03
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn's new home outside Chicago


The Mirror claims to have an exclusive today that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have bought a mansion in a Chicago suburb, but we read about it several days ago at Bricks and Stones.

The Mirror reports:

The stars, who have been dating since they filmed The Break-Up last summer, have spent the past five months searching for the perfect lovenest away from Los Angeles.

And they found it in the posh Chicago suburb where Vince grew up...

Standing on 7.5 acres of land, the mansion boasts nine bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, a garage that accommodates six cars and a huge double-height, woodbeamed hall where they can entertain their friends.

According to our spy, the pair are overjoyed that they've finally found their perfect home - and that it's far from the showbiz world of Hollywood. "Jen and Vince have spent ages looking for the right place and when they found this, they knew it was perfect," says a source close to the couple.

"It's in a quiet, private neighbourhood and Vince is so well-liked there that he and Jen are hoping they're just going to be allowed to keep a low profile and get on with their lives.

Bricks and Stones even had these lovely interior photos of their new home.

Now that Jen and Vince have officially shacked up, maybe she'll be more secure about their relationship. She supposedly asked him to call off a movie project that would have him filming in England for three months, because she didn't want to be alone.

Posted to Jennifer Aniston | Vince Vaughn | Weak

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May
03
Nicole Richie partially owns up to her anorexia


Nicole Richie admits she's thin in an upcoming interview for Vanity Fair, and confesses that she has seen a doctor and a nutritionist about it:

THE SIMPLE LIFE star has opened up to style magazine Vanity Fair, admitting she shudders at the thought of young women trying to obtain her skinny look. Richie accepts her slimline look can be a concern and admits she has a weight problem in the publication. She says, "I know I'm too thin right now, so I wouldn't want any young girl looking at me and saying, 'That's what I want to look like.'" But she insists her weight problems are not connected to an alleged eating disorder, and she's doing whatever she can to take control of her health. She adds, "I started seeing a nutritionist and a doctor... I do recognise that I have a problem, and I want to be responsible and fix it, and I'm on that path right now." But even her doctors aren't convinced the star isn't anorexic. In the upcoming Vanity Fair article, one of her medics, JEFFREY WILKINS says, "If it's not anorexia, she should be able to gain the weight. If it ends up being anorexia we can help her with that."
[via]

About two weeks ago, Richie said she realized she was thin, but was nonchalant about it.

Richie wears a red string bracelet on her right hand, a symbol of anorexic pride. It seems like she's perfectly aware that she doesn't eat but is in denial about how severe it is and won't admit it outright to the press. At least she's trying to get help, but it's going to take a lot of hard work and therapy.

In related news, there is a picture of supposed coke residue after Nicole Richie left a bathroom stall, but the evidence is unconvincing and seems fabricated.

Here she is in La Quinta, CA at a Coachella Party. We realize that Taryn Manning is holding a little pipe in one of the pictures since everyone has pointed this out. They've also noticed that Nicole seems to have lost some her hair. Hair loss is a sign of anorexia.

Pictures [via]

Posted to Nicole Richie | Weak | Weight Loss

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May
02
Pink says blowjobs are disgusting and that she doesn't give them


Pink has said that she found it endearing that her husband, Carey Hart, threw up with her in a bid to win her affection. She also said he could pee in his hand and offer it to her as a gift and she would think it was sweet.

Given all the crap she says along with her reputation, it seems pretty odd that she would call an average sex practice disgusting and say that she's lazy in bed:

The feisty singer, who is married to motorcross champion Carey Hart, has revealed she doesn't indulge in certain sexual activities.

When asked about oral sex, she reportedly said: "My God. That's disgusting. I don't do that".

The 'Stupid Girls' singer - who is currently involved in a war of words with hotel heiress Pairs Hilton after she included a spoof portrayal of the blonde's notorious sex tape in her latest music video - went onto admit that although she is more than happy with her husband's sexual prowess she doesn't do much work in the bedroom.

She added: "I'm too lazy to go on top."

She must be trying to get press again because she hasn't been quoted in over a week. Surely she's not serious. Sharon Stone would vehemently disagree and would consider her at risk for rape! If this is true, we feel sorry for her husband. She can strip for him but she can't do her wifely duty.

Posted to Pink | Sex | Weak

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Apr
27
Teri Hatcher wants your pity


Every relationship advice book I read when I was single said that the best way to get guys is to live it up, have a great time, and not act like you're desperate. You're supposed to date more than one guy, not open up too soon, and make them chase you. The way Teri Hatcher is going, she's going to be single for a while or she's going to end up in a lame codependant relationship.

She told her story about being violated by her uncle as a child in a partial bid to get back at George Clooney for not changing his stripes to stay with her for more than a month. Now she's going to release a memoir chronicalling her sad love life.

* Her second marriage, to actor Jon Tenney, held on for nine years, but was so devoid of passion they didn't even make love on their honeymoon. Hatcher claims to know exactly when their 8-year-old daughter, Emerson, was conceived, because she and Tunney "had sex once that year, on Valentine's Day." A rep for Tunney didn't return a call by deadline.

* After their divorce in 2004, Hatcher set off on "a parade of bad dates." There was a handsome millionaire who was "already in a long-term relationship with cocaine." There was a freak obsessed with prostitutes. And there was a "creepy lawyer" who offered her "$50,000 to go to a convention with him. Like an escort!..."

"If I thought getting divorced was going to open up an arena of endless sexcapades, I was wrong," she says. "I never thought I'd be [over] 40 and have no one to go to dinner with, nor someone who loves me and whom I trust, but here I am. Sad but true."

Meanwhile Teri injured her eye on the set of Desperate Housewives after a lightbulb exploded, scratching her cornea. She sounds rather sorry for herself in her statements about it:

"I was taken to a wonderful eye doctor, and now am wearing a most glamorous eye patch over the right half of my face.

"I like to look at the positive, and the good news is the cornea is the fastest healing tissue in the body.

Teri - this is not the way to get men! You have to fake it until you make it. Please cheer up and look at the positive. Some people still think you're sexy, but your attitude just ruins it.

Here she is with her daughter and ex husband at a horse event two days ago. [via] The guy must realize that he dodged a bullet.

Posted to Teri Hatcher | Weak

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Apr
26
Tom Cruise says that tabloids that mock him have sad reporters


Tom Cruise has said that the gossip columnists who make fun of his erratic behavior are simply unhappy people:

He explains, "When I look at the people who write or say these things, I realise it's not a lot of people doing it. "It's just a few people, trying to take advantage of sensationalism." The actor claims a few interviewers have tried to bait him into combative statements or behaviour, but insists, "You just have to be who you are." He adds, "Because when I meet these people, they really seem unhappy to me. And that's too bad. Because I'm happy." The media glare has become so overwhelming recently that the star has been forced to have bodyguards accompany him to all of his press interviews. Cruise adds the attention, "seems to come in phases. This just seems a little more intense lately."

Tom may have been referring to a recent interviewer who dared question Scientology's ability to cure the reading disorder dyslexia, from which Tom admittedly suffers.

The conversation was all smiles until reporter Bjorn Benkow insisted that experts say that dyslexia cannot be cured by Scientology as Cruise has claimed. There was an awkward pause, then Cruise burst into laughter. "I'm going to, in any case, admit that you have the courage of a madman," according to our translator. "This is something no journalist has dared say to me face-to-face. . . . Scientology is a religion without divinity. Its teaching is a spiritual liberation from life's problems that can only be reached through advice, courses and deep studies. Your cynical media colleagues cast doubt over all the good that we do by spreading a bunch of hocus pocus about us."

Tom then got pissed when the reporter mentioned Kidman and his adopted children and stormed off. At least the re are foreign journalists willing to state the obvious about Scientology. Tom certainly can't stand to be challenged, although he does give fabulous quotes!

Saying that someone is motivated by unhappiness is an obvious oversimplification. It's like a mom telling her grade school child that the bully is jealous of him. Cruise should stick to vague, happy quotes and try not to get upset or bring any more attention to the fact that he looks like a fool to everyone.

And here he is at a press conference for Mission Impossible 3 in Rome, and at the London premiere last night. Yes, he did attend, and supposedly Katie gave him permission.

Other stars pictured at the press conference and premiere include Keri Russell, Michelle Monaghan, Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his supposed girlfriend, and Maggie Q.

Update: Cruise spent 4 hours talking to fans outside of the MI3 premiere in London last night!

Posted to Cults | Movies | Premieres | Tom Cruise | Weak

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Apr
25
Paris Hilton cried to get out of a ticket


Maybe Paris Hilton can act. According to the Swedish newspaper, Aftonbladet, the hard-partying heiress cried to get out of a ticket for driving without a registration for her new car:

Paris Hilton visited several nightclubs the night between thursday and friday. The wealthy heiress drove around in her brand new Mercedes SLR - worth almost half a million dollars - when she suddenly was pulled over by the police. The reason was that her car didn't have a valid registration for the state of California, which technically gives the police the right to tow the car. But according to several witnesses, Paris started crying real bad, which made the female officer feel sorry for her and eventually give in. Shortly after, Paris could drive away with only a warning.

So Paris didn't even get a ticket for driving with an unregistered vehicle. She's had the car for about a month, so you think she could send one of her minions to the DMV for her. Here are some pictures of Paris getting a parking ticket, so she's at least suffered that indignity.

Here's a German commercial for online yellow pages featuring Paris ordering some rolls:

And here are pictures of Paris celebrating her boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III's 21st Birthday Party at Tao Night Club in Las Vegas on 4/22. [via]

Update: pictures of Hilton at the opening of the "replay" clothing store in LA last night. Brandon Davis is launching his line of jeans at the new store. Davis is a former friend of Hilton, and spoke out against her last year, calling her a racist. Nick Hilton also attending the opening.

Paris will host a rock concert at an Austrian ski resort this weekend, and will have to introduce Pink to the crowd. Pink mocks the skinny heiress in her video "Stupid Girls."

PARIS HILTON will travel to the ski resort of Ischgl, Austria, on Sunday. While she's sure to get in some exercise, some posing, some dating, she is actually there to serve as the host of the Top of the Mountain concert series. Among her duties, she'll introduce rocker Pink, who closes the concert.

Posted to Brandon Davis | Fashion | Nicky Hilton | Paris Hilton | Parties | Weak

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Apr
06
Jessica Simpson pulls Junior High level pranks


Jessica Simpson is so juvenile that she can come up with no better way to exact revenge than to crank call the woman who used to date her ex husband.

Simpson reportedly hates Kristin Cavallari and Star reports that she has been crank calling her!

“Jessica got hold of Kristin’s cell-phone number and got a real kick out of making crank calls to it.”

Though a rep for Jess denies the story, the source claims: “She’ll ring Kristin up and just say nothing or try to order pizza or Chinese food and talk in different accents! She’s even gotten some of her friends in on it. The pranks are harmless, but I think Jessica likes knowing that she’s irritating Kristin in some way.”

We did this shit in seventh grade, remember? The fact that she tries to do accents makes it even lamer. Jessica you're supposed to do real damage to the woman who's dating your estranged husband. But he's with MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo this week, so you didn't even pick the right target.

Here's Simpson at Barneys in LA today with her ever-present hairdresser, who is either carrying most of her bags for her or was more successful at shopping today.

Pictures [via]

Posted to Jessica Simpson | Photos | SmartSmartSmart | Weak

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Apr
06
Daniel Craig can't even play cards

Daniel Craig shirtless filming a scene in the ocean with the caption: you know you want to see it ladies
It looks like the only card Daniel Craig can play is the nudity one, because he doesn't know how to play poker:

When film bosses realised Craig was clueless at the game they flew an expert to his Berlin hotel to give him some last minute tips. An insider told The Sun newspaper: "Daniel could not play cards - it was so funny. It is a critical part of the film, where Bond shows how cool a customer he is. But it was frustratingly ridiculous how long it took to teach the cast how to play or behave at a poker table.

"Everyone at the hotel has been laughing about a Bond who can't play cards."

Let's revisit Craig's various other public failings as the shortest, blondest Bond:

  • He can't drive a stick shift
  • He hates guns (This is a personal preference and is not damning, just interesting.)
  • He had his teeth knocked out while filming his first fight scene
  • He got prickly heat from a sunburn
  • His on-set requests include: "wet wipes, baby lotion and two nail files."
  • Speedboats make him sick to his stomach

    Despite the fact that he's quite obviously a wuss, Craig is amazed that he's become the new gay icon.

    On the other hand, Craig sports a six pack and has no qualms about getting naked or filming graphic sex scenes.

    It might even out, and we're willing to sit through the film for a glimpse of his goods.

    Posted to Daniel Craig | Weak

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  • Mar
    29
    Busta Rhymes is a closet case and a premature ejaculator

    Busta Rhymes' O Face
    Any guy who freaks out in the presence of a gay man has something to hide. In this post-Breakback era, celebrities should be media-savvy enough to know when to play it cool. Busta Rhymes stuck his foot out of the closet this weekend by throwing a fit when a gay guy dared to touch him on the shoulder:

    The drama unfolded at the 11th Street Diner, which is next door to gay club Twist, early Sunday morning. "The restaurant was packed with transvestites, gay men and drag queens, which obviously made Busta a little edgy," eyewitness Thomas Barker e-mails. "This became evident when a young gay guy came up behind Busta and tapped him on the shoulder to congratulate the rapper on his recent comeback. Before the guy could even mutter a word, Busta turned around and repeatedly screamed, 'Why the [bleep] you touchin' me, man? Get the [bleep] away from me' . . . his two huge bodyguards then caused an even larger scene by pushing the kid away . . . Busta quietly whispered to his bodyguards, 'I hate [bleeping] faggots, man.' "

    Busta also recently made the mistake of bragging about his lousy performance with Nicole Richie.

    The guy needs to shut up and be nice if he wants a career. No one likes a homophobe. We don't think it's wise to fuck and tell either, and hope Wilmer Valderrama's career also takes a shitter.

    Posted to Busta Rhymes | Weak

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    Mar
    23
    Ewan McGregor vs. Jennifer Aniston

    Jennifer Aniston headshot with the caption Yeah, I never change. You'd think I'd learn, but no. Got a cigarette?
    Let's compare recent quotes from thespians Ewan McGregor and Jennifer Aniston explaining their movie flops:

    McGregor on "Stay":

    McGregor says, "I think [The film, Stay, is] open to interpretation, and that's a good thing, right? It took ages to get a release. There was great debate, I believe, over whether any of it made sense and how it would subsequently be sold..."

    He added, "But you know, nevermind. It doesn't matter to me whether the films I'm in are successful or not. I do them because I like them, not because of box-office potential. That doesn't mean I don't want them to be successful, because of course I do. I love the buzz you get from being in a really big hit. It's just with me, that doesn't happen all the time."

    Now here's Jennifer Aniston talking about "Rumor Has it" in her typically simplistic, dismissive way that manages to blame everyone else for her personal failings:

    She's quoted as saying: "The worst experience of my life, the worst experience; the worst film."

    "It sounded like a great idea, an interesting backdrop for a romantic comedy. But it was never fleshed out, never fully realised."

    "And for me personally, I was going through a horrible time..."

    "I wasn't at my best as an actor. I was unmotivated by it. Why talk about it? We can let that little train go by."

    Aniston, again we must coach you on how to give quotes. You're supposed to be upbeat and vague. You may even get intellectual about it like Mr. McGregor and explain why the film gut mucked up, but you're still supposed to act like it doesn't bother you.

    How much did you get paid for that terrible film? We've been much nicer about crappy websites that we had to build to ignorant CEO specs that cost a few grand. Get a clue.

    From her bleak fashion to her even worse personality, Aniston proves over and over that she doesn't have what it takes to be a big screen star.

    Since we're sick of Aniston, here are some pictures of the gracious and thoughtful Ewan McGregor looking a little worse for wear. Ewan is currently filming "Beatrix Potter" in London with Renee Zellweger and is wearing the moustache for his role.

    Pictures [via]

    Posted to Ewan McGregor | Jennifer Aniston | Weak

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    Mar
    20
    James Blunt's music used to suck even worse

    picture of James Blunt looking uber dorky with the caption: WTF is wrong with this guy?
    A producer who has worked with stars such as Dido and Samantha Mumbo claims that he helped Blunt create his signature simplistic music, and that Blunt screwed him once he got a music contract. What's more, Blunt's music was even worse before this guy reworked it for him:

    [The Producer, Burton] says Blunt's music used to be "crude, occasionally laughably direct, and betrayed his relative lack of musicianship or discernible influence." Burton says he saw potential, however, and started working with him.

    Burton... wrote on a website: "A couple of people told me I shouldn't be working with him without a contract in place.

    "But to be honest the love couldn't have been thicker in the air – lots of talk about how great the record was going to be and how cool the whole situation was."

    The UK Performing Rights Society thinks the claims are legitimate enough to be considered, and has stopped royalty payments on 6 songs from Blunt's album "Back to Bedlam" until the case is resolved.

    Also, Blunt's girlfriend, who is supposed to be the inspiration for that terrible song "You're Beautiful," wants to dump his ass. Supposedly he's not spending enough time with her, but we think she just came to her senses.

    Posted to James Blunt | Music | Weak

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    Mar
    16
    James Blunt is a loser, part deux

    headshot of James Blunt with the caption: You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
    The NY Daily News reports that James Blunt is even more whiny and pitiable live than he comes off as in his simplistic music:

    At Webster Hall on Tuesday night, Blunt sang song after song about squandered love without calling on the defenses of anger, humor or macho affect to shield him. On the contrary, his lyrics depict him as crying more often than the subject of a Barbara Walters interview...

    Blunt's limited scope as a performer became more glaringly clear. Since his ballad-drenched repertoire is sluggish in pace and "miserable" in mood (to use his word), Blunt's band tried to make things more "fun" by overplaying the backbeat. That threw the material out of kilter and forced Blunt to shout, coarsening his main selling point: his delicate falsetto.

    We reported earlier that the former lead singer of Blur compared Blunt's shallow songs to greeting cards.

    Now that the news is out that Blunt can't perform live, he will hopefully fade into the background. I don't want to endure any more of his lame songs running through my head for days.

    Posted to James Blunt | Music | Weak

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    Mar
    13
    Vince Vaughn thinks Jolie gives a shit about Aniston

    Vince Vaughn has supposedly contacted Angelina Jolie's manager to let her know that he'll "keep the peace" in the war between the pregnant vixen and his girlfriend that takes place entirely in Aniston's head:

    "Vince told Angelina's manager he's ready to help Jen put the feuding and competition behind them," a friend tells the weekly magazine.

    The reason - he wants Jennifer to be healthy.

    The article [in Star] suggests that the "Wedding Crashers Star' understands that it can only be a good thing for his sweetie to finally put any bitterness she has left in the past.

    You know that Aniston is obsessed with gorgeous Jolie and Vince is making a last-ditch effort to get her to calm the fuck down. Jolie thinks about Aniston about as much as she contemplates whether she gave a good performance in "Hackers."

    Meanwhile Aniston is still harping on her pain.

    Here are pictures of Aniston and Vaughn in Aspen yesterday. Vaughn needs to take some supplements because he's got that Eastern-European scurvy look. Maybe he can visit the same clinic that Paris goes to.

    Pictures [via]

    Jennifer Aniston and Vince VaughnJennifer Aniston and Vince VaughnJennifer Aniston and Vince VaughnJennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn

    Posted to Angelina Jolie | Jennifer Aniston | Vince Vaughn | Weak

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    Mar
    13
    This is not news: James Blunt Sucks

    headshot of James Blunt with the caption: You're pitiful. It's, um, true.
    I really dislike James Blunt and think the lyrics to "You're Beautiful" convey what a loser he is. That's why I'm pleased to reprint the apt remarks of former Blur lead-singer, Graham Coxon:

    Former BLUR star GRAHAM COXON has blasted newcomer JAMES BLUNT as bland and uninspiring, comparing his sentimental songs to trite greetings cards. The scathing guitarist, now a solo artist, is convinced the YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL hitmaker needs an edgier sound to ensure his success continues. He says, "There's no humour in his music and there doesn't seem to be much depth. "It's the sort of thing you'd write on a card if you were sending flowers."

    Meanwhile, Oprah also agrees that Blunt is miserable.

    Posted to James Blunt | Weak

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    Mar
    13
    Paris breaks a widdle toe on her big-ass foot

    Paris Hilton in high heels with the caption: God this hurts so bad
    I don't enjoy giving Paris so much air time, but she's hard to ignore. Her daily escapades provide a lot to write about. In the latest Paris News, she has broken a toe and is bemoaning the fact that she can't fit into her high-heeled Choos:

    Hotel heiress Paris Hilton is suffering from a broken toe - and her main complaint is she is unable to wear her towering Jimmy Choo high heeled shoes.

    The wealthy blonde insists style comes before comfort, but the swelling is so bad she can barely get her shoes on, let alone walk in them.

    Hilton says, "It's the size of a watermelon. How am I going to wear my Jimmy Choo's?"

    Paris' feet are huge too. Most stores don't even carry her size - a whopping 11M.

    Posted to Paris Hilton | Weak

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    Mar
    11
    Jennifer Aniston continues to chronicle her amazing life journey

    Jennifer Aniston winking and looking foolish with the caption I see the light
    Aniston now says that she's feeling better and is recovering from the crippling depression that plagued her after her husband of four and a half years, Brad Pitt, left her for screen siren Angelina Jolie:

    "I danced more and played more in the last two months than in the last 10 years. One day it's like a switch went off - and all of a sudden it was like, 'Men! Everywhere!' The cloud is lifting. I'm starting to see the light and it's good."

    She goes on to bitch, predictably, about cheating men, saying "It's men who usually do the cheating."

    Aniston, STFU. You should give vague, pleasant statements about how fabulous your life is because only .000001% of the population has access to the money and privilege you take for granted. You're supposed to act as a representative for celebrities everywhere and make the lifestyle seem as great as the marketers do. Do not, I repeat, do not, tell everyone that you're depressed or that you're getting over a depression. Your job is to act, so do it.

    Update: Vince Vaughn wants Aniston to be fat like him, and Brad is smoking again.

    Posted to Jennifer Aniston | Weak

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    Mar
    10
    Teri Hatcher had no idea Clooney was a womanizer

    Teri Hatcher smiling with the caption that's right I'm a complete dumb ass
    George Clooney has a long-standing reputation as a complete asshole when it comes to women. They only thing constant in Clooney's life is his potbellied pig, and even the pig is on the outs.

    That's why Teri Hatcher is a fool for falling for her handsome neighbor after only a few weeks of dating. Page Six reports that Hatcher told her sad tale of childhood abuse in an erroneous attempt to share her pain at getting dumped by Clooney:

    The magazine reports the unidentified star who bedded and dumped Hatcher left her so emotionally shattered that she could no longer keep from talking about her evil uncle.

    "Mystery Man" was none other than Clooney, a well-placed source tells Page Six. He dated Hatcher briefly beginning in January, when we first reported they'd gotten cozy, but he dropped her soon after.

    "The debacle with Mystery Man . . . made the parallels between her romantic failures and the legacy of her sexual abuse seem too obvious to ignore," Vanity Fair's Leslie Bennetts writes.

    Teri, you dumb ass, you can't change men. It's also really, really lame to try to get a guy's attention by being weak and needy. That's why they leave in the first place. We all did this at one point in our dating careers, but Hatcher is old enough to know better than to make such a calculated and public mistake.

    Posted to Breakups | George Clooney | Teri Hatcher | Weak

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    Mar
    09
    Jennifer Aniston will never learn

    Jennifer Aniston headshot with the caption Yeah, I never change. You'd think I'd learn, but no. Got a cigarette?
    First Aniston wore a snore of a dress to the Oscars with the same hairstyle she had on the last two seasons of Friends. Now she's talking about her pain - again. That's all she ever talks about and people stopped caring about her months ago. Will the woman ever learn?

    [Entertainment Tonight] asks so, has the A-list star ever experienced an emotional crossroads in her own life?

    "That period in your life when you have no direction whatsoever -- I kind of relate to [my character]," says Jennifer. "When I first moved to California, [I] just kind of felt lost, lonely, alone."

    At least Aniston skirted the question by using another, lesser-known example from her sad life to answer the question. She should have said something vague like "of course, everyone has, but you learn to move on and enjoy life. I'm a lucky person and am grateful every day for the things I have."

    Earth to Aniston - your movies have all sucked so you have to compensate. Act like you're happy and vamp it up, or you're not going to get work.

    Posted to Jennifer Aniston | Weak

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    Feb
    28
    Daniel Craig is such a wuss

    Daniel Craig shaving with Samantha Morton holding him from behind with the caption Dont cut yourself honey, we only have 5 days to make this movie
    First he got his teeth knocked out, and now has "prickly heat" from a bad sunburn. Sure he looks hot in a swimsuit, and all the legitimate Bonds endorse him, but he's not too rugged:

    Could anything else go wrong for jinxed James Bond star Daniel Craig?

    It seems the actor is now suffering a nasty outbreak of prickly heat.

    The strawberry-blonde one got a spot of sunburn while topping up his tan before filming in the Bahamas.

    According to The Sun, a source on the Casino Royale set said: "It's driving him mad.

    "He constantly wants to scratch. It's worst when he does a costume change. He's in agony.

    "He's been moaning to his assistants that he's got prickly heat.

    Poor Craig. Girly-men are in now, though, so at least he has that going for him.

    Posted to Daniel Craig | Weak

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