Samantha Ronson bakes Lindsay Lohan a cocaine cake

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Samantha Ronson seems to be sending a not-so-subtle hint to the world about what Lindsay Lohan’s been up to. Instead of taking to her Twitter page to scream, “She’s doing blow!” Ronson instead whipped up a cake. Or stole a picture of a cake. But let’s assume she took to the kitchen in an angry, wrathful furor and had her way with a bag of flour and a whisk. And whipped up this beautiful concoction:



samroscokecake1



Yes, that is a cocaine cake. I had one just like it for my fifth birthday. I cannot tell you how long my mom slaved over it. All the other mothers admired it when they dropped their kids off. I bet Dina Lohan did the same thing for Lindsay when she was little. What a sweet, thoughtful way for Samantha to let Lohan know she’s still thinking about her.

In related news, Samantha’s family is in the process of trying to take out a restraining order against Lindsay. Basically because she’s batsh*t crazy. Lohan is said to be extremely upset that they’re doing this. Which makes me really, really happy.

Well connected sources tell TMZ Lindsay Lohan is “devastated” after learning members of Sam Ronson’s family are taking steps towards getting a restraining order against LiLo.

After Us Weekly broke the story that Sam’s mother and sister went to a Beverly Hills police station yesterday asking questions about the restraining order process, sources tell TMZ Lindsay has been an emotional wreck — crying uncontrollably.

We’re also told Sam has cut off all communication with Lohan — and that Lindsay isn’t handling it well. In fact, we’re told people close to Lindsay are worried she “might lash out.”

[From TMZ]

That whole thing about worrying Lohan “might lash out” is basically why Samantha’s mom and sister want to get a restraining order against her in the first place. They told police officers Lindsay acts out to get attention, and they had an intervention not for her drug use (which they also said is a problem), but for her behavior. Obviously they believe Lohan is unstable and might take her acting out too far and in some way harm them.

No matter how badly she feels right now, it’s really hard to have much sympathy for Lohan. She has no concept of mental stability or normalcy. That’s not entirely her fault – her parents didn’t raise her with any. And she is relatively young – she’s only 22. A lot of us were quasi-crazy at that age. But with Lindsay, you really get the sense that she has no shot of ever becoming a stable, rational adult. Best case scenario, you just hope she messes up less as she gets older.

Thanks to Dlisted for the cocaine cake story idea.

Here’s Lindsay and Sam back in happier times, at a party after a Bat Mitzvah ceremony at the Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park Hotel on 2/28/09. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.
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52 Responses to “Samantha Ronson bakes Lindsay Lohan a cocaine cake”

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  1. HEB says:

    So she posted that pic on her twitter? With no other comments?

  2. nanster says:

    “But with Lindsay, you really get the sense that she has no shot of ever becoming a stable, rational adult.” Truer words have never been spoken. At the rate Lindsay is going she doesn’t stand a chance. She has already ruined a promising career and a charmed life by being an idiot. And since her parents set such a stellar example for her, things aren’t going to improve for Linds anytime soon.

  3. Alexis says:

    Robert Downey Jr.

  4. kiki says:

    oh the drama….

  5. Prissa says:

    Why does Samantha always make that weird twisted-mouth face? She’s doing it in the 2nd pic.

  6. Susan says:

    And, I guess everyone thinks Sam doesn’t do coke too? And, her and Lindsay aren’t also coke buddies? Whatever……

  7. Blondie says:

    Serious stuff

    Lindsay & Sam both look as tho they have heavy drug issues. They look awful and aged.

    Sounds like Sam has family to help….think Lindsays will prob supply her with more drugs in support

  8. Seven says:

    Someone should write a book about the Lohans called ” Coke Chronicles” A fitting name.

  9. RaeJillian says:

    lindsay went a bit crazy ex when she and wilmer broke up, too.
    this break up makes me sad. i wanted them to get civil unioned and adopt babies!

  10. Shelly Shellz says:

    A recipe right out of Kate Moss’ cookbook!

  11. idkwhattowritehere says:

    LOL shelly i love your comment!

  12. Bodhi says:

    RDJ is amazingly talented, LL is not. RDJ has a good loving family who fully supported his real efforts at getting sober; LL doesn’t have such a family & has no interest in getting clean.

  13. lala says:

    RDJ was an oscar nominated actor (chaplin) who regardless of how stoned, always showed up for work.

    He got sober, the hard way. And was prepared to do whatever it took to rebuild his career. It took 7 years, and some very hard work with less than great material, for him to hit it out of the ball park with Iron Man.

    Anyone want to guess where Lohan is in 7 years? Because my guess is the same place as where Anna Nicole Smith is right now.

  14. aleach says:

    shes 22 yeah, but lets not forget she is an ADULT.
    theyre afraid shes going to “lash out” for attention? this girl needs to get her shit together. im embarassed for her…

  15. Susan says:

    RDJ showed up for work regardless of how stoned???? WTH? Uh, no he didn’t. He self admittedly was very messed up in some of his last movies while using and did NOT show up on time, know his lines, etc.

    LL is a talented actress. Sorry – she is. And, hopefully she will kick all her demons and make a come back.

    BTW —- RDJ learned the hard way — he learned because he did TIME. He didn’t like jail. Then he found some sobriety.

  16. Bodhi says:

    I guess LL’s 86 minutes didn’t teach her anything, but I’m sure she’ll have far more oppertunities.

    And no, LL isn’t talented. She was a cute kid who could memorize her lines. She, at one time, had potential, but she has snorted it all away.

  17. Bodhi says:

    But the issue of talent or no talent aside, she still doesn’t have the family support or the actual desire to get clean.

  18. Judy says:

    Sam is a coke user too look at her face and body. SHe is always taking ugly photos because she is stones. They used LL for her money and her fame . Sam has more now then she ever would have if it wasnt for her and the family using LL. LL better get her ass out of there and forget thes epeople because next they will sue her for millions for something.

  19. Kevin says:

    Hey Bodhi! Where you been? Good to see you posting.

  20. Nony says:

    Considering that previous bouts of ‘acting out’ involved hijacking a car and trying to chase someone down in a fit of rage, I’d be going for a restraining order too.

  21. Elle says:

    hahahahahahaha wtf?

  22. *Dani.elle says:

    Oh me, oh my.
    I hope that Linsanity gets her shit together. I really do. I like her. However, I also like hearing about the bat-crazy shit that she does. Either way will make me happy. She could get 10 million times better than Sam anyday. Hell, I’m sure she could convert me into being gay. When she’s healthy, she’s hot. Period.

  23. lisa says:

    They both are losers.

  24. Raven says:

    LL is talented and that has been stated by a lot of other talented award-winning actors and directors. She’s also mentally ill. The two sometimes go together. I’m just sorry that in this age of paparazzi everywhere, her breakdown is so public. I’m also sorry that she has such loser parents, but that is not uncommon with mentally ill people either.

    Sadly, the only way she will ever return to rehab is under court order. And assuming she gets there, when she gets out, I hope that she takes someone up on the legitimate offers that were made to help her out.

  25. Ggirl says:

    Again, for those of you old enough to remember, me included, how many attempts it took for RDJ to decide that he was READY for sobriety. And he was much older than 22. The courts were involved and for a while, many people were ready to give up on RDJ. Lindsey, like every other addict, only has a few choices: recovery, jail, mental facility or, God forbid, death. Everyone has opinions on her talent level. But that doesn’t matter. She has wasted opportunities and made mistakes like we all have. She is the only person that can decide IF she wants to reach out for help or not. I hope she reaches out for help and not pity. All active addicts are manipulative and selfish. That is why addiction is a DISEASE.

  26. Marianne says:

    Lindsay is talented? C’mon, be serious. She never had any talent, and most of her movies are crap. The only two movies she did worthy of some attention (A Prairie Home Company and Bobby) weren’t even about her anyway. Other actors and directors said she was talented because, in that occasion, that was the nice and polite thing to say. .
    She’s a joke, no one wants to be associated with Lindsay in any way. Stop trying to put this skank in the “tormented genius” category. She’s just a trashy junkie. She’s as low as the floor under our feet.

  27. Ron says:

    This reminds me of the spiral Margot Kidder went down years ago. A list actress to homeless and losing her teeth due to drug use. I sincerely hope that someone helps this girl but she seems hell bent on not listening to anyone. If she has any true friends, becuase it sure as hell isn’t going to be her charming family, there needs to be an intervention. A serious check yourself in at a real facility, not at a lodge with egg white breakfasts.

  28. Codzilla says:

    Marianne: You nailed it. Thank you!

  29. JaundiceMachine says:

    Word, Bodhi.

  30. JaundiceMachine says:

    *Edit = I do feel bad for her – she’s clearly struggling and her coping skills (cue White Lines. . .) only add more fuel to the fire. People grow up. People make mistakes. I don’t envy the choices she’ll be faced with in the not-so-distant future. I hope she realizes that she doesn’t need to be in the tabloids to be validated as a person.

    But let’s face it, for all her self-entitled rants and royal hissy fits – she’s mediocre at best.

    And she can’t live without the paps following her around. I guess we have Dina and Michael to thank for that.

  31. Ally says:

    Lohan is exasperating, but this Ronson woman totally used her to jack up her DJing fees and get hired more — all for the work an iPod Shuffle could do.

    I didn’t think anyone could make Lohan look good at this point, but Sam Ronson has managed.

  32. yae says:

    What a hateful, ugly way to break up with someone that supposedly has an addiction problem. Sam basically announcing to the world that nasty message with that cake. I dunno…..someone cabable of doing something that UGLY is also capable of just making it all up simply to tarnish Lindsay’s reputation. I mean that IS the whole point of the cake image, right? To hurt Lindsay?
    That is NOT the way you break up with an addict. That little cake stunt looks more like the work of a vindictive monster.

  33. L says:

    Raven, I totally agree.

    Sometimes it is hard to see when somebody is mentally ill, or unable to cope because they just act really negatively & you kind of just assume they have an attitude problem… but most of the time the negative behaviour is a symptom of illness. Drug abuse also points to mental illness. People take drugs because they need “something” they are not getting elsewhere.

    I think if Lindsay got some guidance from sober, healthy people, she would be okay. SHe needs to pull a drew barrymore and go live with somebody who can show her healthy ways to live, because she is not getting that from her parents or anybody else. it is easy to “act out” when you feel like your world has crumbled down on you.

    Give her a break, we all make mistakes, it is part of living.

  34. Bodhi says:

    🙂 JacMac

    Addition is most definitely a disease and one that I am well acquainted with. An addict must chose to live a sober life & it is a decision that only the addict can make.

    LL CLEARLY doesn’t want a sober life. Yes, she is very young & young people are stupid all the time. But its not like she doesn’t know what is down the road. She comes from a family of addicts. And she has been in rehab 3 damn times already! I know very well that most addicts fail at least once or twice (or three times, whatevs) in their attempts at sobriety, but they know what they are losing by using again. For an addict, a sober life is the only answer

    Marianne is totally right, this “tortured genius” bullshit has got to go. She knows full well what is as stake & what she is pissing away.

    I really do feel bad that she has let things get this far out of hand & that her life so out of control. But she is the only person on the planet who can chose to change her life & she has absolutely no desire to do so. And THAT is what is so pathetic.

  35. morgs says:

    I wonder if she’ll kill herself? She seems so entranced with Marilyn Monroe and tradgedy. She should take Warren Beatty up on his offer. Either that or she’s going to be doing adult films in 3..2…

  36. Bodhi says:

    Edit: @ L: Of course LL needs “some guidance from sober, healthy people” but she has to chose it. It won’t do a lick of good to shove it down her throat. And thus far, she has shown zero interest in said guidance.

    She doesn’t get any breaks until she proves that she deserves them.

  37. Marianne says:

    Bodhi, I totally agree with you. You said almost everything I wanted to say about LL and couldn’t find the right words to say so.
    The most annoying thing about Lindsay is that she has a problem, but she doesn’t make any effort to solve it. It’s impossible to have sympathy for someone who clearly chooses self-destruction in the lowest ways one person can imagine. I don’t feel sorry for Lindsay and never will. If people stopped being so permissive to her behaviour and didn’t make her into a victim, maybe things wouldn’t be so messed up now.
    Lindsay is no little kid. She’s 22 years old. She’s no victim. She’s the one who can decide what she wants out of her life and who she wants to be with. She’s old enough to be responsible for her own acts.
    She’s totally delusional. She’s not open to admit her real situation to the press (who can forget all her recent interviews, with all that talk of “i’m-a-nice-and-clean-person”?). She keeps trying to get auditions for movie roles much above her talent or status. She blames others for her failures. She says people don’t want to hire her because the tabloids like to pick on her. C’mon, isn’t that outrageous? She makes a circus out of her life and she dares to say that tabloids are mean to her. very funny.
    I don’t think that her age is a good excuse for her inacceptable behaviour. Many people younger than her manage to lead very normal and successful lives in Hollywood. I’m sick of people saying that “she’s young” to justify her addiction and wild partying.
    Lindsay is the only person in the world who can save herself. She’s the one to make the decision if she wants to be clean or not. Don’t feel sorry for her. She’ll never get any better while the others feel pity for her.

  38. yae says:

    I just read that Sam’s mother is chiming in on the whole issue (dlisted).
    Saying Lindsay is a “cutter”. Really folks. Why would a whole family start shooting off their mouths to the media out of the blue unless its purely to ruin Lindsay’s future. Looks text book like a jealous thing. Anyone entertaining the possibility that Lindsay DID break up with Sam and was only stalking Sam to keep her from doing what she is doing now? Anyone entertaining that maybe Lindsay isn’t a drug addict? Sam is one dirty character in my book.

  39. orion70 says:

    that cake is real mature…..

  40. Orangejulius says:

    Oh, dear. I guess I do have some sympathy in spite of the fact that she’s a total drama queen. I don’t think I grew up till I was…er, 55?

  41. anastasiabeaverhausen says:

    HA HA HA HA HA!!!

    JayBird, great writing!

    LL may not have had a hand in creating who she is now, but she’s an adult now and she’s supposed to be responsible for her own behavior, actions, and livelihood now.

  42. j. ferber says:

    I think Lindsay was good in Mean Girls and she is pissing away her future. It’s really too bad, and I hope she finds a way to get the help she needs.

  43. Gracie says:

    Samantha illustrates that money doesn’t buy class. While I am not a fan of LL, Ronson has done a nasty thing by posting that cake. LL doesn’t need public ridicule from an ex.

  44. Camille says:

    I’m probably alone in my thoughts on Lilo, but I do feel sorry for her and I hope she gets the help that she obviously deserves.
    I’ve tried to hate her, but unlike Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, for some weird reason she just doesn’t get on my nerves. But I do really hope she manages to turn her life around.

  45. Camille says:

    Oops, I meant ‘obviously needs’.

  46. cori says:

    As someone who had a quasi meltdown after my breakup, i feel sorry for her cuz i understand that crazy feeling you get when your world falls apart. Sam was the only stability she had. Her fam is effed up, her career is gone, and no one in hollywood cares about her. AND now she lost Sam. Granted, through her own actions but still. Sam should have more class than to kick someone who is obviously already down. LiLo needs rehab, therapy, and time AWAY from the limelight.

  47. my take says:

    I dont get it- when and where did Sam present said picture?

  48. hunnybe says:

    So much sympathy for a GROWN WOMAN!!She is old enough to make her own choices.I remember in an interview a few years back when she was bragging about making 7 million per film then went on to say thats more than her friends parents make. So SHE is responsible for her actions NOT everybody else.

  49. Ned says:

    Enough with the “mentally ill” talk.

    She has a drugs problem. That is a complete different story than mental illness.

    She CHOSE to take drugs.

    She was not born with a mental condition and you are doing a disservice to people who are truly sick.
    Many people grow up with less than ideal parents and they don’t turn to drugs.

    She was given wonderful opportunities and earned more than most of the people in the world would earn, and she threw it all away because of drugs.

    I don’t think she was “talented”, but it has nothing to do with the story IMO.

  50. wicked says:

    lol ronson looks like miss drysdale from the beverly hillbillies lol what the heck is lilo crying about?

  51. Johnny john john says:

    Hey!
    Drugs are cool!

    You should try some!

    Your teeth can fall out, you can get horrible infectious diseases, and your life can spin out of control and down the shitter faster than a monkey eating a cupcake.

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