Is anyone else sick of the hot takes by clueless men about the #metoo movement? I’m thinking of Matt Damon specifically, but also Liam Neeson, Dave Chappelle and Ian McKellan. Those are just the men I can remember who have had these very terrible views, I’m not even mentioning the ones who have been outed as being abusers or worse. There are specific allies who remain allies, like Kumail Nanjiani, and then there are men we assumed were allies who just aren’t, like Aziz Ansari. Incidentally Nanjiani was asked about #metoo by Giuliana on the red carpet at the SAGs last night and his response was perfect and thoughtful. He even talked about men’s bad initial takes on this, saying “It’s time for us to listen and look in the mirror. A lot of times men are coming off in ways that they don’t understand are harmful.”
For every Nanjiani there are five Damons though right? William H Macy is a Damon. He had to emphasize his victimhood as a man as women are finally opening up about how they’ve been attacked and marginalized. (My words obviously.) This is what he said backstage at the SAGs, where he won his fourth SAG for his role as Frank Gallagher on Shameless. (I stopped watching that show last season, it feels stale and while Macy is a skilled actor he’s won enough awards for that character.) Macy was explaining that he was part of a men’s meeting on Time’s Up, which would be admirable if he had something to contribute to the conversation instead of complaining about it.
William H. Macy revealed Sunday that he participated in a meeting of Hollywood men related to the Time’s Up movement.
“It’s hard to be a man these days,” Macy said backstage at the Screen Actors Guild Awards. “I think a lot of us feel like we’re under attack and that we need to apologize, and perhaps we do.” He added, “We had a meeting. A bunch of guys got together under the auspices of Time’s Up. That’s good for men. Men don’t talk enough. And we talked.”
Macy won the Screen Actors Guild Award Sunday for male actor in a drama series for his role in Showtime’s “Shameless.” He said after receiving his award that he sees progress in gender equality in Hollywood.
“In what we do for a living, we’ve got to be free to speak the unspeakable and try things,” Macy said. “So I don’t want it to throw a wet blanket on things, and I don’t feel that it will, because half the business is women and they’re smart and they’re hip.”
Noting that he has two daughters, Macy added, “It’s a good time to be a girl. I’m proud of this business, because such things as safety in the workplace, that’s done. We’re not going back. It’s changed. It changed in an instant and it’s not going back. When it comes to equality in pay, it’s inevitable. It’s going to happen and it’s going to happen quickly. My hat’s off to our business.”
He’s not the worst by any stretch but he sounds so clueless here, like he’s trying to assure us things are better so we should stop talking about it, lest he and his buddies be made uncomfortable. We’re “half the business,” nevermind the alarming statistics about our lack of representation on screen and in positions of power. It’s a good time to speak up for our f-king rights finally and that’s only going to bring more change, but these men just don’t want to be challenged. Won’t someone think of the men? Also, do you remember how Macy previously discussed Weinstein? He said “people knew” but that “The same aggressiveness that [Weinstein] brought to chasing women is the same aggressiveness that he brought to pushing these films” that other producers wouldn’t touch, and that he would miss that other Weinstein. Macy’s wife of 20 years, Felicity Huffman, also said that she knew about Weinstein, but not the extent of his abuse.
Photos credit: WENN.com
“Men don’t talk enough”… oh really. Don’t they realize what they say?
I’m wondering if he meant something like “men don’t talk to each other about sexual harassment and appropriate behavior enough”. Ultimately, if we’re going to make progress on this issue, it’s going to take prominent men telling other men, “hey, you shouldn’t do that” or “on my film set I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior”. Maybe I am giving him too much credit though…
But he should have left out that bit about men feeling under attack. That’s just ridiculous–women have been under their thumbs for years and now they’re just saying they want to feel safe going to work…you know, something that a white hetero guy like Macy has probably never even had to think twice about.
I think that you’re right, Cate. I felt that he was implying they don’t talk to each other enough.
Men have built the WORLD on talking and doing whatever the hell they want, with women and everything else. What an idiot.
Yeah. I’ve always thought this couple were idiots actually. Both of them.
Dudes! STOP TALKING. For like the next 6 months just SHUT UP.
it’s a ridiculous claim, but I do feel that the movement has gotten slightly out of control. our narrative had gotten blurred.
I think this Aziz Ansari moment was a little bit of “jump the shark” one or at least people felt it this way.
that’s certainly how I felt.
I don’t. Women shouldn’t have to put up with unwanted sexual contact at work or on dates. It’s that simple.
SallyS, I disagree. I think the Aziz Ansari discussions are among the most life-changing for a large number of women.
The most extreme sexual violations are easy to agree on. There’s no doubt that the behaviour of Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K., et al., is unacceptable. We’re now more aware of the cost to society caused by the workplace harassment that threatens women’s livelihoods and derails their careers.
What the Aziz Ansari case is about, though, is raising the bar in sexual encounters from simply “Did he break the law?” and “Was it technically consensual?” to “Are both parties enjoying it equally?”
It’s helping us articulate and challenge the pervasive, ingrained assumption that sex is a commodity primarily for men’s pleasure, women are the gatekeepers, and whatever a man can legally do to keep pushing the woman’s limits and wear her down until she gives in is fair game.
Emily Reynolds has expressed it very well here: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jan/15/aziz-ansari-behaviour-matters-allegations-date-young-woman-coercion-sexual-behaviour
I think Aziz is where we first received pushback, because he didn’t fit the idealized image of ‘predator’ so some people have problems identifying how dangerous his behaviour is.
It’s not even close to the end of the movement, this is the movement. This is the meat of it.
I agree with Knitter.
@Knitter, considering that a lot of OPs came out pro Aziz (WP, NY Times, etc.) and considering many feminists and just women actually sided with him on that and not with “Grace” (or at least didn’t jump on blaming Aziz for everything) the situation was some kind of reality check, but actually not in the way you describe. I think many people sort of realized that having a bad date where both parties miscommunicated is indeed a misfortunate situation but both parties failed in several stages in it, and it’s quite a different thing from Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K. (before it people were reacting to everything like it was just another Weinstein). Also what I call ” jump the shark” which indeed caused some scars to the movement or at least muddled it is that “Grace” published her story in some sub-par online source, hiding her name, but naming directly the other party and giving all those juicy details about their encounter. In the end it was read like some revenge porn piece with many moments which actually also painted this “Grace” in dubious light, not only Ansari .
“revenge pr0n?” You are not seriously comparing the violation of women with a man being called out on his predatory behaviour?
SallyS, I agree with you that the way the story was released to the world was flawed and I agree that not only Aziz, but “Grace” as well, was imperfect. So what?
It’s clear that Aziz knew that “Grace” wasn’t giving enthusiastic consent and he didn’t care. He’s not unique and I’m not saying he’s a monster—he’d just bought into the same view of consent that most of us have bought into—that it’s fine for a man to ignore a woman’s wishes and keep trying over and over and over to wear down her resistance, yet the woman has only herself to blame if she eventually stops resisting and goes along with sex that she doesn’t really want. That’s not fair. Aziz demonstrated that he simply didn’t like or value “Grace” enough to respect her wishes and to care about her pleasure as much as he cared about his own.
I strive for a world in which people aim to treat other people better than that. I also want more women to recognise, in the moment, when this sort of behaviour, which many men feel entitled to and which many women don’t even question, is happening. That will enable more “Grace”s to get out of these situations sooner.
I don’t think it’s gotten out of hand, but lines are being blurred.
A lot of men are stupid and insensitive and some are utterly clueless, others are arrogant and self-involved – some are actual predators.
Team Josie – thank you. Good grief.
I hate the phrase “jump the shark” being used to talk about work against sexual violence. As if advocacy against sexual predators is a trend that is no longer hip. As if the work for justice will stop because “some” people had differing view points on one example out of thousands.
When the other shoe drops on Aziz that will shut the whiners up about him. It will also demonstrate why his aggressive behavior is a sign of someone who has no respect for women. Katie Way is not a good journalist, and she is not equipped to handle a story like this because women are talking about Aziz and the other stories aren’t very flattering. It includes on the job sexual harassment.
Stop trying to find a way out of this uncomfortable moment or to explain away his behavior.
@ Tiffany – WORD. I agree 100%.
I agree. That was a total “jump the shark” moment. I would like to see more accountability from women when it comes to bad dates. Unless a man is chaining you there, get up and leave. I have shut the door on men who showed up late, paid my own bill and went home when conversation has turned vulgar and pulled down my shirt and said no when things went further than I wanted them to go.
It has not in any shape or form “gotten out of hand”. Where are all the consequences? Seriously this is a little raindrop in hell. But for so many people thats “TOO FAR”.
Preach. The backlash is tiresome.
No kidding!! How has it gone too far? Too far in that some men are thinking twice about assaulting women or harassing them at work because now they might actually be shamed for it?!?!?
The poor menz.
Agreed.
Agreed, Kitter and Ally. It’s not clear why there’s so much handwringing about needing to keep the conversation about Harvey Weinstein (and other exposed rapists) completely separate from the conversations about Louis C.K., Azis Ansari, and enthusiastic consent.
@QueenB: Yeah, she did. Facepalm. If “Grace” had been a man, I wonder if people making the dumb ‘revenge porn’ argument would turn it into, “He Outed him!”
So, men get away with sexual harassment/sexual assault for EONS, and women have to somehow be responsible for how men react when we speak up about it? Or we have to be super careful about “the narrative?”
F*ck “the narrative.” The narrative is MEN SHOULDN’T SEXUALLY HARASS AND/OR ASSAULT WOMEN. PERIOD. If they’re UNCOMFY when women speak up about it, that’s about 1/10000000th the discomfort women have ALWAYS felt.
Don’t try to police other women and what they say.
It is eye opening. I didn’t realize how messed up was to be a woman. I did not think about it. Then i remembered how much i cried in sixth grade for being slapped on the bum by the boys. It was normal and i was the problem. So no, it is not out of control. Men have been acting out since forever.
And we cannot turn back time but enough already. Men should listen to women not made new rules.
Yep, milla, I had similar middle school experiences. I’m so sorry :/ it’s so ugly and weird to be assaulted at that age. You don’t know how to feel, and you’re so young, and you inevitably get blamed for it.
Oh, William H. Macy — you, too? Many, many women find it hard to be a woman **every day.** We are constantly judged, thought of us as less smart, weaker. We’re paid less, have fewer leadership opportunities, and are hired less often than men with equal resumes.
We are much, much more likely to be victims of harassment and sexual crimes, harassment and crimes that are overwhelmingly committed by men.
There are so many terrific people out there, both men and women. This is not about attacking men. It’s about outing predators. Any man of substance should be happy to out those predators right alongside the woman who were victims.
Women have endured those awful things you mentioned for many thousands of years and now that men are being called out for their behavior they don’t like it.
After what, five months or so? Settle in, boys, it’s gonna be a long ride. Whiny little idiots.
They’re not even being held accountable! They made the laws to make sure that didn’t happen.
All they have to do is hear about it, but it’s too much, poor them.
@ Josephine:
Agree 100%. It’s astonishing how much he lacks self awareness on his comment:
“It’s hard to be a man these days,” Macy said ………..,.“I think a lot of us feel like we’re under attack….”
Well, welcome to how women have been feeling since the very first woman (biblical Eve) got blamed for bringing evil to humanity by eating the apple of temptation.
Right?!?! Women are also more likely to be raped and murdered. Women are more likely to be beaten by a spouse, more likely to have their symptoms ignored by doctors, women have to do the majority of domestic chores the world over even when they work the same hours or more than their male partners.
@ Pinetree:
IKR? It’s insane just how incredibly anti-egalitarian the world is (and has always been). I’ve often thought that one of the biggest drivers for sexual inequality through history through out the world was the difference in brute strength between the sexes (which the then leveraged into other types of strength).
Stupid question: Now that physical strength isn’t quite as important anymore (I can carry a weapon, or just call the police, or take Krav Maga classes)…..,How are we still in this position, even now?
What’s stopping us just flipping the script around?
“Better to remain silent and Be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”.
Great post, so true
I do appreciate asking men about their take on the movement, I get the idea behind it, but it kinda seems fruitless and pointless. Meaning this isn’t about them, this isn’t their fight or struggle. And we keep hoping for thoughtful helpful responses but this isn’t their conversation so truly I’m never surprised by their idiotic responses. In my experience men have difficulty thinking beyond themselves and how things effect them. Most, not all, can sympathize but truly struggle with empathy. Just my 2 cents
@ Booradley:
While I agree with most of your comment, I question this line:
“this isn’t about them, this isn’t their fight or struggle….”
Surely, they have a significant role to play in this as well? They need to *fight* to come to the genuine understanding that the world is changing, quite literally.
– Physical strength and Power are no longer valid currencies with which to procure sexual gratification.
– The female sex is no longer prey….or fair game.
– There will be consequences. Real ones.
A lot of men I know are really struggling with this right now. We have to help them along that journey until they actually *get it*.
I’ve reread what he said a few times and I think it’s clumsy but not the worst. He’s articulating (I think anyway) a process some men will have to go through. He’s not saying they won’t change. I’m not as outraged
i agree, but I feel he should have omitted any sentence that portrayed the men as victims. Just skipping ‘it is hard to be a man this day’ would have improved this statement hundredfold.
I agree, he knows that there needs to be more discussion and some men need to change their behavior.
That was kind of my reaction too. Went from annoyance about the ‘hard to be a man’ comment to relief that he didn’t say anything worse .
Eh, it is a process.
At first, I was disappointed, and then I realized I would rather men say wrong crap that they think instead of behaving like they already get it this soon. We get it because we live it. They have to get it and have their epiphany. He never used an image selling point of wokeness, so he is learning. He is not a predator.
The thing is I don’t think he is spinning. So I prefer someone speaking honestly and not pretend therefore in the long run when he does get it I will believe him. He is a nice guy and gets more passes from me because unlike some with the image of being decent, he actually is.
@Magnolia:
“They have to get it and have their epiphany.“
This. 1,000,000%
What about Bill Maher calling the #me too movement #me MCarthyism?
Women have been on the unfortunate receiving end for far too long.When you are young you are vulnerable to sexual harrassment.When you are older you are considered unf**able and thereby unhireable.Older men are more likely to be hired than older women.Also,women are more likely to be bullied and harassed at work by both men and other women.We have to see an ending to all of this and strive for a better future;however,it seems alot of men are now saying “ok,you made your point ,now shut up.”
Makes me grateful that I work in a progressive workplace where all that BS doesn’t.happen and wouldn’t be tolerated if it did.
@ Laura, I agree 100%. Especially the ‘now shut up” bit. How dare we occupy some of their time and attention articulating things that do not play to their sense of omnipotent, and not to be challenged , male.
Ugh, Bill Maher’s takes sailed with the last century. He can go complain about Muslims and women with fellow old farts Bill O’Reilly and Dennis Miller.
Wow! Lol….please don’t compare Bill Maher to Dennis Miller and Bill Oreilly(!) of all people…..that’s like comparing a bad house guest who chain smokes in front of your baby to an arsonist who burns your whole house down.
At least Maher has some redeeming qualities…..the other two don’t.
No that is taking what he said way out of context.
I share his view about Senator Gillibrand, and his point was that there are degrees of sexual harassment and there was a point when it WAS becoming too close to losing the narrative.
He was off the air when the Senator Franken debacle went down, and he pointed out correctly that only Democratic politicians were let go when we have a rapist as POTUS.
He didn’t say anything hardcore academic feminists haven’t said which also included two women who were rape survivors. They didn’t feel a touch that may or may not have happened ten years prior should ever be equated with the brutality of rape. Especially not when it politicized by liars and not when the “proof” is dubious. It is harmful to victims and straight out of the MRA handbook.
Maher said he was a supporter, but you can’t fire someone over an accusation. In all the Hollywood cases there was proof, a pattern of well-known behavior, the victims showed their faces, and the axes fell because most likely their behavior was already known. CK was well known for years for example.
McCarthyism is taking an accusation and equating it with guilt. That is what Benghazi, Birtherism, THE EMAILS, Swiftboating, etc. was all about; smearing with accusation.
He even said he understood Franken was collateral damage. His voice has left a vacuum of outspoken resistance, and he was an ally to women, but it is what it is now. A cautionary tale.
I want systems dismantled and changed. I want a paradigm shift, but I don’t want to play into the hands of the salivating MRAs just waiting for us to fail.
Thankfully the movement has progressed, but he had a point.
Very pleased that a Pakistani/Brown/Muslim man (Nanjiani) is articulate and on the right side of this.
Not to say that that is a surprise or an anomaly, but that they (asian/muslim men) are so often portrayed as being on the wrong side of things like this.
Take a wild guess at what most of the sexual abusers share in common?
The gutless need to dominate so their weak ass can feel tough?
They’re white
+1
Shocker. But wasn’t his wife someone that said she brought him to meetings because she wanted to avoid a possible assault? You don’t see how that’s a problem? Really?!
Clumsy at best. It’s not a witch hunt. It’s year and years of repressed stories and experiences being revealed at once.
Heaven forbid that men feel under attack for just the least little bit!
Hats off to the business!?
“It’s a good time to be a girl”
This is all very illuminating
Right? He uses the terms “man” and “girl” – incredibly condescending to women.
This might be a case of me being so used to the absolute horrors of what Frank Gallagher would say – but after reading Macy’s quotes it’s not too bad. It’s still missing some important aspects – but he’s getting there.
“I think a lot of us feel like we’re under attack and that we need to apologize, and perhaps we do” – that’s showing that there is at least SOME realization that a lot of things have been able to fly under the radar that should never have been able to. There’s some introspection happening there, and I hope that he and other men really start to realize that a lot of behavior that they consider normal isn’t okay.
And he’s had to watch Emmy fight to get equal pay on Shameless. I’d consider Fiona to be the main character for the most part – and he was still getting paid much more than she was.
WHM – be “under attack” for a few thousand years and then you can talk.
On Ian McKellen, he went to an event where my straight male friend was working, tried to flirt with him then just grabbed him and kissed him because he wanted to.
McKellen was part of Bryan Singer’s ring.
Enough said.
Yep.
Why can’t these men have a seat, shut the frak up and take it all in? Men under attack? Had a “men” meeting? To talk? What world have they been living in? This is happening…but it’s 2018. How long have women been objectified, verbally and physically manhandled, pressured, abused and assaulted? The beginning of time? When weren’t we? My gawd I can’t handle clueless people.
I really didn’t expect him to sound this clueless about the whole thing.
Also, what’s going on at those men’s meetings? Seems pretty simple to me – don’t harass, don’t abuse, shut up and listen for a while. End of meeting?
I am just hoping at some point there will be less animosity about this topic, like if men could grasp that women have always bore the burden of workplace inequality but also, I am trying to get to a point where I am not dismissing what these men are saying. I think it would feel bad for them. When people derided white women for being responsible for Trump, it was both true and made me feel instinctively protective of my own views. I held back from any ‘not all white women’ speeches but the instinct to justify oneself, to feel attacked by, in this case truth, is a valid human emotion.
Nothing will TRULY change until there is more balance in position of power…until corporations and upper management/middle management…etc., reflect the true demographics of our country….REAL CHANGE can’t occur…however, I LOVE this movement for doing one thing…for PERHAPS making people who would use their power to EXPLOIT and DAMAGE others…think twice about doing it…I’m sure more than a few souls have been saved during this time period regarding that fact…
I agree with you that this movement has probably led to some would-be abusers or harassers thinking twice before speaking or acting inappropriately. But I don’t appreciate Macy’s statement that suddenly now everything is super fine and safe for women. He claims that Hollywood is now 100% safe for women now. And that pay equality will be happening ASAP. I dont think he’s actually paying attention to what’s going on around him at all. Women are slightly safer now maybe, but not 100% safe. Many of us are still be attacked by both men and other women for expressing our views on certain stories. People are telling us we’re overeeacting, and we’re going too far with our talk of wanting sex to be equally enjoyable between men and women and consented to on both sides, instead of just being “technically not illegal.” There is still such a long way to go. We haven’t even as a society agreed on what exactly the problem is, and we sure haven’t found the solution yet, nor has the solution been sweepingly enacted across all workplaces. So I take issue with his claim that that basically overnight the workplace was made so 100% safe for women.
I love Nanjiani and I am so glad that he is an ally but I was extremely disappointed that he didn’t come out and say ANYTHING about TJ Miller. Miller and Nanjiani were more than just co-workers on Silicon Valley–they came up together in the comedy world and they were friends (although who knows where that friendship stands after Miller left SV and burned all his bridges there). Everything pointed to the fact that the comedy world was aware of Miller’s past bc he openly joked about it. I wish Nanjiani would comment on that, or at least be asked about it (which seems only fair if Alison Brie is going to be asked about what her brother-in-law has been accused of).
I’ve met William H. Macy many years ago at the Philadelphia Film Festival just as his wife was starting her second season on Desperate Housewives. He was there promoting an indie film he starred, produced and directed with a Meg Ryan and Jason Ritter. This man was the most gracious, warm, genuine, funny, sweetest celebrity I have ever met. He talked to my fiancée about movies, music and he couldn’t stop gushing over his wife Felicity! You can see how much in love and how proud he was of her and their kids. This was before Shameless too. So as a women who met this super smart, incredibly gracious, down to earth man, I just can’t see him as not understanding this movement. It’s gonna take a long time for most people of both sexes to adjust to a new way of treating each other and continue the conversation through respectful communication.
That is my point too. He’s just too good of a human being to not say ok William you have more to learn but keep going. I save my outrage for deeds and the super clueless across the board like Damon who protected Casey Affleck.
I feel like this Times Up thing is an excuse for famous men and women to get together and have a chat .. is it just gonna produce more celeb bffs for the internet to gush over or actually make a difference
It’s just beginning. Why don’t we actually give it a chance to do something and evaluate it then?
Not all men are under attack, just the soulless, raping, threatening, harassing pigs. Under attack? They’re just being exposed and outed for being the bastards they are. About bloody time, too.
I could be wrong, but I think I remember rumors about him being abusive, as in domestic violence. Can anyone confirm?
I’ve read he was abusive.
I have never heard of anything like that. But, I remember Felicity giving an awards speech where she was so grateful that WHM picked her, a fat girl with glasses. I wondered if there was a reason she felt the need to denigrate herself, and uplift her husband, in front of the world.
Not once has that ever been said about him. If he had a problem in the past, I have never heard it, but as someone who has been around him, I would be surprised.
He and his wife behave as a solid unit and in love. Equal partners so again, it would shock me. He is just very nice and sincere. I would say shyish and not a wordsmith. His interviews are awkward like he isn’t sure what to say.
Mr. Macy, the only men who are under attack are the sh*tty men who harass, abuse, violate, take advantage of others. If you and others aren’t sh*tty people, then be an ally to those who are fighting these injustices.
He needs to shut the f up.
This reminds me of when POC try to talk about how they’ve been treated and white people jump up and feel the need to discuss THEIR feelings about it.
THE WOMEN ARE TALKING. THEY ARE FINALLY MAYBE BEING HEARD. MEN DON’T NEED TO SAY SH*T RIGHT NOW.
And all I can say is GOOD. I read something the other day and it hit me. Men are terrified of women being in power due to the fear that they’ll be treated the same as they’ve treated women since the dawn of time.
And BINGO was his name-o.
Look at all the major newspapers today. It is as though the Women’s Marches this weekend never happened. Each paper put up one story on Saturday or Sunday, and now they drop it. And millions marched again! I don’t think that shows that “it’s a good time to be a girl.” Where are the think pieces, the interviews of dozens of female power players who attended, the documentary film short going viral of speeches by women of color who spoke at rallies, talk shows showcasing new feminist musicians who participated or a primetime retrospective of women’s liberation activism in the last 50 years? Silence. Well, we got the Time cover story, I’ll give them that… I know from taking part in the gay marches of the 80s and 90s that it can get very discouraging when you know you are part of something important to the culture, but you get no respect for your issue. The mainstream male power structure will try to erase #TimesUp by simply ignoring it. And guys like Macy will help and be helped by this media silence. He won’t see the big deal. I mean, it’s not in the paper, you know? And hey, “smart and hip” women are “half the [Hollywood] business.” Not true, of course. It’s all so offensive. But, it’s a benchmark of where we are. Women’s rights groups will just have to keep moving forward, like they always have. It worked for the LGBT movement to just keep organizing and creating our own institutions. It took a long time for allies to get their act together, and the media trailed behind that.
Men talk enough, they just don’t say anything of value. Case in point: William H. Macy.
If you feel under attack, maybe you did something wrong, Willy? Take the moment to introspect and not whine. You’re proving a point without trying.
I think he was trying to articulate the male perspective on this, but didn’t verbalize it very nicely. Aaaaand Kumail Nanjiani continues to be really superb on multiple topics.
He is a bit clueless for sure. If “it’s a good time to be a girl” and he’s proud of progress the industry has made, that’s primarily because WOMEN have forced these issues to the front, not because the industry suddenly experienced enlightenment.
I think he expressed himself incredibly stupidly, but despite clicking on the story with the intention to post, “Diddums” I actually stood down when I read his words. I think what he was trying to say was, we’ve been so privileged for so long it’s been a huge shock to feel we’re being attacked when we’re challenged, and maybe we do need to apologise. We need to talk about behaviour in a way we never had, and that’s progress. And the change is long overdue, and the change in pay is now inevitable.
Of course, he could also have been trying to soundbite acceptably, and his actual resentment bled through. But I’ve been so disgusted by so many people lately, that I am just constantly wanting to give any at all the benefit of the doubt where I can. Otherwise my faith in male human nature is left in the hands of Daniel Radcliffe, pretty much. And Peter Jackson for coming forward and saying yep, they *were* blacklisted.
CAA being so front and centre in Time’s Up, despite their role in the mess around Weinstein (didn’t Brian Lourd even try to broker a meeting between him and Ronan Farrow to spike the investigative reporting, after which Farrow moved agency?) makes me regard it with real scepticism. Especially as several of the whistleblowing women say nobody even asked them to sign the originating letter.
I’m starting to hate everyone, so I want to like anyone for anything I can.
The Aziz situations are what women face most of all. More often than rape or assault women are pressured and coerced into sexual activity that they don’t want to participate in. I’m so glad we are talking about what happens most commonly. Obviously rape and assault are horrible and should never happen. Coercion, pressure and harassment must be addressed, discussed and stopped. NOW.
Imagine your takeaway from this movement being that it’s hard to be a MAN, imagine that!
I’m well past my patience with these stupid, tone-deaf comments. It’s one thing to be misinformed or under-informed as we’re all in different stages of learning, but being this insensitive and self-centred is simply unacceptable.
You’re not “under attack”. People are weathering storms and putting themselves on the line coming forward with these stories and it shows how hard it is to be a WOMAN. Maybe try listening for a change before TALKING with other men.
I’m just going to leave this music here for how I feel about the fact that “men are under attack”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=__kN0m6P-RY
Oh, poor men… Just a quick, friendly reminder, that women have been feeling under attack for thousands of years!!! 🙁
The only way men were ever allowed to get away with this behavior was if girls/women stayed quiet about it.
THAT is why so many men are nervous. Their days of groping/grabbing/raping/saying totally inappropriate shit/using quid pro quo might actually be over.
When I was in college I worked at a kid’s shoe shop in the mall for about six months. The manager was in his mid-30s, married, two kids, and he only hired young women, mostly college students. He straight up told me and another new hire on our first day that we would get raises if we “sucked his dick.” (This was in about 1990.) I was totally grossed out BUT IT DID NOT SURPRISE ME ONE BIT. I never took him up on his gross offer, but my coworker did so almost immediately. He kept telling her he didn’t have the paperwork to process her raise, then he told her about six other bullshit stories about why the raise wasn’t happening (despite dozens of BJs by that point). She worked there for a YEAR before quitting in anger because she never got her raise. (Why BJs? He told us he didn’t consider that cheating.)
I mean, to me, as a 20 year old woman, this was just the occasional gross part of being a woman. I look back and think that’s so incredibly sad. It was so unsurprising to me I rarely ever thought about it. And I worked there for six months (he started to pressure me pretty steady, so I quit).
Ugh, that is so disgusting. At least you saw through it, too bad other girl didn’t
Awww. The poor persecuted white man.
As a Black, bisexual woman I have SO much sympathy.
Maybe some actors just aren’t that smart, despite how they look.
I honestly think he’s a little dumb for saying it’s tough to be a man these days even if he does follow it up with some qualifying statements.
Oh, yeah? It’s been hard to be a woman since time immemorial, so suck it up, buttercup.
This is the dude who actually supported his female costar when she asked for equal pay. So you know what? I’m not gonna jump on him for saying the wrong words. He’s actually getting out there, he is trying to do something.
Oh no William. Another one fell prey to speaking without thinking.. I do believe he’s an ally, he said many good things in the past but he’s as clueless as most men seems to be. I don’t want and won’t throw him under the bus for this comment. And honestly, I don’t have the patience for this.
I’ll accept any criticism from this site (or any other) over what people say regarding #MeToo or #Time’sUp when they stop taking women apart over what they wear, how their hair and makeup is. It’s frustrating to visit this site and see these headlines after nine that take apart women for what they wore at the same awards show, as if that’s all they have to offer. Not one article about accomplishments, about Rita Moreno’s lifetime achievement, etc. I know this is a bloody gossip site but you can’t have it both ways. If there was any real support for feminist ideals this site – and others like it – would ditch the useless fashion reviews and start looking beyond the frocks. What’s she wearing? Anything she damn well wants to, and she looks just fine, whoever she is.
Wow, it’s almost like women can have 2 separate thoughts at once. I take it that you’re wearing your burlap sack and reading the Feminine Mystique?
Can’t stand him so this is no surprise. He’s always sour, rude in comments and interviews, and talked shit about his daughters being teenager assholes (no wonder where they get their bad attitudes, regardless of age). He’s just always irritated me so much and the characters he plays seem to be just extensions of his real-life character.
I found his comments extremely offensive. So much white male privilege! It’s all about them, THEY feel under attack, PERHAPS men need to apologize, and lastly: thanks to these revelations, it’s all gone away in an instant!! What planet does he live on?? Some sleazy predators have been revealed in ONE profession. There are many many more predators and men who think they have the right to touch women inappropriately, coerce them, threaten them, etc.
Won’t someone think of the poor disenfranchised privileged white men?! *wrings hands, rends clothing and flesh, tears at hair