When lockdown first happened last year, many of us were surprised at couples who had not been together very long choosing to isolate together. One such couple was Demi Lovato and her then boyfriend, Max Ehrich. They moved in together after only dating a few weeks. And it was a little unclear if they were at Demi’s own home or a guest house on her parents’ compound. Since then, of course, Demi and Max got engaged and broke up when she finally saw him for the creepy stalker type he was. Thank goodness she got out of that relationship, but Demi’s recent admission provided a little more insight as to why she rushed into living with him. It sounds like Demi doesn’t like to be alone. On The Drew Barrymore Show, Demi admitted she current lives with her best friend and what’s more, thinks we should normalize that as a lifestyle choice.
Demi Lovato’s living arrangements look a little different these days — and she wouldn’t change a thing.
Appearing on The Drew Barrymore Show this week, the “My Girlfriends Are My Boyfriend” singer, 28, shared that she’s currently living with her best friend as a roommate after ending her engagement to ex Max Ehrich last year. Lovato praised the concept as her ideal situation for right now.
“I am living with one of my best friends,” explained the star. “… I was engaged to a dude and almost did that. And I was like, ‘That’s not the life for me.’ I want to have fun and I want to live with my friends. Let’s normalize that, you know.”
Barrymore quickly agreed, “If I didn’t have two children, I would actually ask you if you wanted to be roommates,” to which Lovato responded, “I would say yes in a heartbeat!”
The host, 46, added that some of the “happiest moments” in her life are memories with her best friends “without question.”
“I came home one day after doing interviews and photoshoots and whatnot,” recalls Lovato of her roommate with a laugh, “and she was like, ‘So Demi, you’ve been doing rockstar s— all day. You wanna do some normal s—?’ I was like, ‘Yes!’ That’s what I want. Then we put on Grey’s Anatomy and The Walking Dead and it was over from there.”
Honestly, I agree with Demi. I don’t know how it is elsewhere, but here in the US, if you’re over a certain age, people assign sort of a stigma to having roommates. There are so many reasons for an adult to have a roommate. It was pretty common for divorced dads to live together in my neck of the woods in the 80s. They all had the same kind of set up: a huge place, usually with a pool, and some kind of floor-plan that made it seem like almost two living spaces. The reasoning was that they all wanted these great houses but couldn’t afford them. And because they only had the kids on the weekends, it worked out great. They also ended up having the “fun house.”
It’s not always about being able to afford a place on your own, of course. I would say most of the time it’s about companionship. There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t think Demi’s the first person to agree to a less-than-perfect marriage proposal just because they value having someone around. Fortunately Demi clued into Max not being the right companion, but we all know others who weren’t as lucky. Moving in with her best friend, a proven support unit for her, is a great living situation for Demi. Think of all those actors who have constant clinger-ons lying about their homes, probably sponging off them in every way. It probably has to do with the person’s desire to be around other people. Living with a roommate(s) isn’t for everyone. But it doesn’t need to be. It just needs to be socially acceptable for whoever wants it.
Photo credit: YouTube and Instagram
I have a fantasy where my best friends and I move to Miami like the Golden Girls when we are older. It, unfortunately, requires all of our husbands to no longer be around…. which, whatever, it’s a fantasy! I think it would be so fun
My friends and I have been talking about doing something like that since we were in our 20’s! We figure we’ll just out-live the guys.
I read a fascinating article in a French magazine a couple of years ago about changing living arrangements over there; two two single mothers getting a place together (like the divorced dads mentioned above), older single people having a student/20-something move in, older single people going into a shared-living arrangement with each other. Attitudes and behaviours are definitely changing.
I have a similar fantasy with a group of girlfriends but it’s more about having tiny houses in a little village type set up that we dream about, to support each other as we get super elderly.
She’s lucky she has a roommate she loves and trusts. Unfortunately lots of people who have to live with someone for financial reasons can be miserable. I had a roommate in my first apartment after college who was sweet and fun at first but then her sketchy, abusive boyfriend made it impossible to continue living with her. It was a sad end to an otherwise lovely friendship.
I’m grateful all the time that my college student son has roommates he enjoys living with. Especially during the pandemic, it has helped to have three guys he enjoys hanging out and cooking with. Lots of college students are not as lucky in the roommate department.
I have a large house with a yard near public transportation that I currently share with a 91 year old aunt and we rented a room to a young woman just out of college. Our house is full of multigenerational, multicultural sharing. My friends and I have jokingly discussed moving in together as we age but I see how well it has worked for my aunt and it is something I would seriously consider.
I moved back in with my mom after my dad died four years ago. She’s had some health issues since, and so it’s made a lot of sense. And neither one of us wanted to live alone after dealing with the trauma surrounding my dad’s passing from dementia.
I’m engaged now, and my fiance and I are debating whether he moves into my house or we get a new place with a suite for my mom. It’s honestly been nice having a “village.”
I love this. We’ve actually asked my parents (in their 80s) to move in with us-and it was Mr. Contrary’s idea-he adores them. Being across the country during covid has been seriously awful-we miss each other so much. I hope they do it-I love hanging out with them.
Maybe it’s because I live in a big, expensive city but I know few 28 year olds that don’t live with roommates. “Normalize” what, please? Celebrities being out of touch?
Thank you! I was just thinking the same thing. I feel like sometimes when people (especially celebrities) say “normalize” what they really mean is “make it cool/trendy”, like it’s actually something completely out of the ordinary. Maybe I just never noticed, but when was having a roommate/housemate stigmatized? And I’m asking as someone who had a roommate(s) into my 30’s before living with my now-husband (I had intermittent periods of living alone but only when I was between roommates). 🤷🏻♀️
I get what you are saying but I read it as she means ‘normalizing’ living with your best friend not just any roommate. Most of us over the age of 30 have some awful stories about living with a roommate that didn’t work out for various reasons. If you have a best friend why not live together? Why find some random person to live with?
@Jillian: Exactly! These celebrities live in a bubble and when they try something normal they think they have discovered sliced bread 🙄 Roommates, guest houses and boarding houses have been normal for eons. I have done the roommate thing with my best friend/coworker and rented rooms at boarding houses back in my college and starting career years.
Maybe she meant normalizing this unusual living acommodation for those who are not struggling financially to make ends meet?
LOL thank you, this was my exact thought. Normalize what, roommates?
I thought the same, this is “normal” for many, many people.
I really prefer living alone and have been lucky to have been able to do that since college, but most people I know shared an apartment or house with their friends for at least a few years.
Right? Having one or more roommates isn’t an odd existence needing a massive stamp of approval lmao.
Totally! She’s pulling a gwyneth here, thinking she is reinventing the wheel.
Jeez-thinking the same thing. Back in the early 90s I, and everyone I knew, lived with roommates, bffs-it was too expensive in San Francisco even then. My daughter is moving to NYC later this summer, and she and one of her good friends are getting a place together. I wouldn’t even bat an eye at this. Demi has the benefit of living in a big place, and having staff to clean-so no “cleaning schedules” like the rest of us plebians had. Sounds pretty ideal.
I thought this already was a normal thing?? I’m super confused with Demi right now ahaha
I’m in Canada, and living with a best-friend/room-mate is really really common… most people can’t afford to live on their own!
Honestly, it’s been normal for a LONG time for celebs to also live with friends. It helps to have someone staying at your house if you travel a lot, etc. Think Entourage. This isn’t new for a lot of reasons.
That being said….I’ve seen a lot of gossip sites that accuse celebs that live with friends of being in a romantic relationship with that friend, which many times is not the case at all.
Where I live, it isn’t that that it’s not “normal,” it just that after a certain age you’re expected to be coupled up. It’d be really hard to afford a place alone, but it’s still maybe viewed as a little sad if you can’t. Which it shouldn’t be, because yeah… that’s pretty normal.
I’m living with my best friend right now! She was isolated in Manhattan during the lockdown, which she handled fine. But then her dad passed last summer. Her mom has health issues. Then it became obvious her company was not calling her back to the office any time soon. I live much closer to her mom. It just made the most sense. I stayed in the same complex and we got a bigger place here. It’s worked out fine, and we’re really looking forward to this summer. It’s temporary though by this time next year things will have changed again. Don’t they always! It makes life interesting.
That’s really sweet! I wish I had the opportunity to do that. I miss living with my friends like I did when I was younger.
THIS. I love my partner to bits, but i really enjoyed living with friends as roomates. I did, however, see the other side of the roomate coin when the roomate wasn’t a friend already. *shudder*
My best friend (temporarily) moved in with me in february after we noticed that we’re both suffering from depression and burnout, isolated at opposing ends of the country. Smartest decision I made in a long time. Life is not back to normal, but this really was a game changer. I am beginning to remember what joy and fun feels like.
I relate. I was okay last summer but by this January really lonely, alone, and often down. Things have been a lot more fun for both my friend and I since we made the same decision. I laugh a lot now. I stopped laughing for a while.
Darla, I love the point you make about laughing. I feel like I really NOTICE when something truly makes me laugh now because I feel like I go long spans without laughing at all. That’s getting better now that I feel comfortable seeing more people, but it’s really alarming to think about.
Every time I’ve tried living with close friends it’s been disastrous. If I were to do it again, which I don’t imagine bc I LOVE living alone, it’d be with a distant acquaintance. That being said, I’m sure Demi lives in a mansion, so it’s prob more like having a neighbor that stops by often lol
I was really loving living alone too. I had recently came out of two nearly back-to-back long term live in relationships. I really don’t see myself living with a romantic partner again, but I was very active socially. So covid threw me for a loop, and I did get very lonely. I really followed all the rules. It was a difficult time.
When I was in my early twenties I lived in an apartment building where two of my best friends also lived (I followed one friend there, and the other followed me). It was awesome. I miss just hanging with my friends for days on end. It feels like that won’t be possible again until we’re little old ladies . . . maybe.
This is my life. I wouldn’t change it for anything. I was married for years. I now have peace and quiet, with great company. I am happier now than I have been in years, and my finances have improved.
How is having a roommate not normalized already? I could understand this statement coming from someone my age (almost 40) but in your 20’s and 30’s it seems normal. My sister is 30 and has a roommate as well as a lot of her friends. This girl makes me roll my eyes every time she opens her mouth.
Demi needs companionship. I watched her YouTube special and one of the takeaways was that she was always asking friends to stay over with her. She lives in a huge house in Hollywood and the night of her overdose she wanted her friends to sleep over but they didn’t. When they left she called her dealer. The friends regretted that they didn’t stay, but to me it seemed as if Demi just needs someone friendly in the house with her late at night. Hopefully, this will help her survive, as she seems extremely fragile.
Her need for companionship was probably part of the reason for her engagement to that guy. She has also admitted that she got engaged to him as a way of proving her worth to people for patriarchal reasons. It just shows that even being a liberal doesn’t mean a woman isn’t exposed to or immune to that message, and allowing it to impact her relationships and choices.
On a lighter note, I like her new album. ICU is really sweet, and I liked all of the collaborations.
I’m an independent introvert; I really prefer my own space and LOVE living alone (I commuted to college while living with my parents, so I didn’t get a place of my own until I was 24 — because I waited so long, I appreciate it extra!).
I very nearly moved in with my close friend before I decided to get my own place, and I’m convinced me choosing to live alone saved our friendship. As much as I love my friend, just looking at places together and having conversations of how we would decorate and stuff felt suffocating. Not for me, but I understand why it would appeal to people who are more social.
I’m an independent extrovert and I also LOVE living alone. I won’t even consider other opinions about decorating (and my opinions are wild), so its for the best 🙂 My roommate is a small dog.
To me it sounds as if she’s saying “let’s normalize doing laundry/going to the grocery store”. Lol, people have had roomates since forever.
like just because she has grown up with weird vibes about what’s normal in her brain everything that she does she has to defend.
Exactly. She’s not special or reinventing the wheel.
Hmmm, I don’t know if that’s a problem with being normalized so much as living arrangements are often dictated by socioeconomics in this country. I lived with friends on and off throughout my life and never had a problem, and I imagine that’s actually really common in expensive urban areas. Having your own place just tends to be more of a statement of socioeconomic prestige (you can afford a place by yourself), convenience (you don’t have to share it), and pragmatism (easier to have a partner/family without roommates to deal with on top of it).
I’m glad she’s getting her life together, though. She’s had a few rough years.
I’ve been in New York since I was 18… there is no stigma against having roommates? Regardless of age? Hell, I know married couples who have a roommate in their place- the rent is too damn high! (Or was before covid)
Why is everything a crusade against some perceived injustice with this woman.
Live with your friend. No one GAF.
lol right? Always taking a victim stance. I don’t think anyone thinks it’s weird to live with friends. or even just roommates.
Lol so true. She has to be in the news for attentiooooonnnn
Let’s normalize never using the phrase “let’s normalize that” again
Normalize it? It’s totally normal already. I have never passed judgement on a person who has roommates. Does she mean normalize it for celebs?
God, she’s Chrissy Tiegen 2.0, annoying and exhausting.
I have twenty-something kids and they both live with roommates. My daughter was living with her boyfriend right out of college, then they broke up (which in retrospect was definitely the right decision on her part) and she got an apartment with her best friend, with whom she still lives even though she has a new BF. My son lives alone now but plans to move back in with a friend when he starts law school. I feel like I came of age when living with your BFF was considered OK for a while but only for a while, like until you got a fiancé or a better job and your own place, etc. And that was a shame. Living with a friend makes sense economically and in many, if not all, cases, emotionally, so why not?