About a month ago, Courtney Stodden revealed that Chrissy Teigen used to privately DM them and Teigen would say stuff like “kill yourself.” Chrissy waited a day to see if the accusation would stick (it did) and she issued a terrible apology on social media where she made it sound like it was such a chore to have to apologize for being such a nasty piece of work. In the weeks that followed, Stodden has said that Teigen should lose her sponsors. Teigen has lost some work, and there are rumors that her marriage is on the rocks too, although I’m not sure I believe that. So I don’t know what possessed Chrissy – narcissism, an inability to be quiet – but she decided to do a Medium essay which serves as some kind of update on how she’s been “humbled” by everything that’s happened. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:
Hi all. It has been a VERY humbling few weeks. I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate “sit here and think about what you’ve done”. Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.
As you know, a bunch of my old awful (awful, awful) tweets resurfaced. I’m truly ashamed of them. As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that? I’ve apologized publicly to one person, but there are others — and more than just a few — who I need to say I’m sorry to. I’m in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted. It’s like my own version of that show My Name is Earl! I understand that they may not want to speak to me. I don’t think I’d like to speak to me. (The real truth in all of this is how much I actually cannot take confrontation.) But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologizing through sobs.
There is simply no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn’t deserve them. No one does. Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor. I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry.
I used [social media] to snark at some celebrities. In reality, I was insecure, immature and in a world where I thought I needed to impress strangers to be accepted. If there was a pop culture pile-on, I took to Twitter to try to gain attention and show off what I at the time believed was a crude, clever, harmless quip. I thought it made me cool and relatable if I poked fun at celebrities.
Now, confronted with some of the things that I said, I cringe to my core. I’ll honestly get sharp, stabbing pains in my body, randomly remembering my a–hole past, and I deserve it. Words have consequences and there are real people behind the Twitter handles I went after. I wasn’t just attacking some random avatar, but hurting young women — some who were still girls — who had feelings. How could I not stop and think of that? Why did I think there was some invisible psycho-celebrity formula that prevents anyone with more followers from experiencing pain? How did I not realize my words were cruel? What gave me the right to say these things?
…The truth is, I’m no longer the person who wrote those horrible things. I grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life. AND GOT MORE THERAPY.
…I have so much love to give if you are open and willing to accept it. And if not, that’s okay too. That’s something I work on being more okay with every day. I know I let you down, but I hope I can make you proud. It’s been a heavy few weeks, so I’m going to take some more time to focus on things that are most important — being with my family and taking care of myself. We are all more than our worst moments.
I won’t ask for your forgiveness, only your patience and tolerance. I ask that you allow me, as I promise to allow you, to own past mistakes and be given the opportunity to seek self improvement and change. Phew. A lot, I know. Thanks for listening.
There’s a tone problem, right? That was what immediately struck me. She’s trying to sound conversational, like she’s lecturing one of her girlfriends, but we’re actually talking about how she mocked a child (Quvenzhane Wallis) and told a teenager to “kill yourself.” This is not the moment to compulsively center yourself in the apology/update, nor is it the moment to crack a “My Name Is Earl” joke. Something else that’s bothering me: she wouldn’t have done her Twitter apology last month or this Medium apology if her bottom line wasn’t being affected, and if her business partners weren’t running for the hills. People were happy to ignore all of Chrissy’s problematic words and behavior for years and years. And now that everything has come to a head, suddenly she has all of these regrets and humility. This apology is just like Chrissy: vapid, narcissistic and fake.
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Avalon Red.