Pamela Anderson gets 13th Playboy cover, pens ridiculous poem

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Pamela Anderson may not have the hotness factor going for her at this point, but Photoshop can erase most of her drag queen vibe and restore her to a semblance of her former Baywatch self. Anderson, 43, has earned her 13th Playboy cover with their upcoming January issue, which makes it a new record for the most covers by one woman. There’s no word as to how nude she is inside, but again technology has advanced significantly in all the time that has passed since Pammy should have put it away. Anderson did do a “Dolce Vita” themed photoshoot at the Playboy mansion grotto pool in October, and Playboy.com seems to promise that she’ll be naked inside. I guess older dudes are the only ones left buying magazines. (I am not slamming women’s post-40 hotness factor in any way, just Anderson’s. She’s over the top and has pulled so many half-dressed stunts that I’m over her. I also can’t get over how she does her makeup. She’s a mom but never seems to have advanced, style-wise, past her early 20s.)

US Weekly has some quotes from a poem Anderson pens that’s inside the magazine, and her ‘poem’ is just as ridiculous and full of sexual innuendo as you might expect.

Pam Anderson shows off more than her famous assets when she graces Playboy for the 13th time.

The actress-turned-activist displays another little-known skill: she’s a poet!

In a poem she penned to accompany the eight-page nude pictorial in the mag’s January issue, Anderson, 43, muses about the new Sexual Revolution and the need to do good.

“Our best isn’t good enough — right now our eyes are far-reaching,” Anderson, who first landed the cover of the mag in 1989. “Please let’s show the good in us. . . The brilliance. . . The wonderful. . . It’s abundant — it’s just not tapped as it should be.”

The mother of two, who refers to herself as “just a sex symbol” even calls out “All the negative ads run by our politicians,” and urges them to “Put that money to good use.”

She also shows her support for President Barack Obama, writing, “So many are with you. . . I can think of many positive parts of now. . . That you spearheaded.”

Her final thought? “May all your bombs be bombshells.”

[From US Weekly]

I’m sure Obama is thrilled to have Anderson’s support. She’s thinking of Obama’s “positive parts” that he “spearheaded.” She must be getting some awesome weed in California fueling her sexy deep thoughts about the President and life in general. She’s not as “tapped” as she should be. I’m more interested in hearing what Russian agent Anna Chapman has to say. Now she probably has some excellent seduction and spy tips that she can clearly articulate above a grade school level.

Pamela was reportedly paid only $25,000 for this pictorial. She’s going to donate the money to charity, which may not be the best idea considering that she’s rumored to be bankrupt.

Also, when are Hef’s 20-something sons going to take over Playboy? The dude is not making the best decisions at this point and should hand over the reins already.

48318, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - Wednesday December 8 2010. Baywatch beauty Pamela Anderson arrives at Heathrow Airport. The star will be flying up to Liverpool to star in the festive family pantomime Aladdin at the Liverpool Empire. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

Photo by: AT1/Xposure/starmaxinc.com  2010  10/25/10 Pamela Anderson at the premiere of The Commuter . (London, England)  Photo via Newscom

TEL AVIV, ISRAEL - NOVEMBER 08: Pamela Anderson takes part in a promotional event in a mall on November 8, 2010 in Tel Aviv, Israel. Anderson is in Israel after writting to Yakov Margi, Israel's Minister of Religious Services, requesting that he backs a proposal to ban the trade of fur in Israel. The actress and animal activist is also due to appear as a guest judge on Israel's Dancing with the Stars.  (Photo by Uriel Sinai/Getty Images)

Photo by: DP/AAD/starmaxinc.com  2010  10/24/10 Pamela Anderson unveils the new PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) Vegetarian Campaign Poster. (Covent Garden, London, England)  Photo via Newscom

 

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21 Responses to “Pamela Anderson gets 13th Playboy cover, pens ridiculous poem”

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  1. brin says:

    @CB…that’s what I was thinking…this must be senile Hugh’s idea! Please don’t let there be a 14th time (time to retire, Hugh).

  2. samigirl says:

    So. She says she regrets and hates that she did the sex tape, because her boys get picked on about it. Well of COURSE, the only logical solution is to put your 40 year old naked self in playboy! Pamela is a problem solver, for sure.

  3. Hautie says:

    Holy crap, someone gets a A+ for their photoshop skills. They manage to remove 15 years off her face.

  4. Shay says:

    Playboy must be desperate. Either this or there is a shortage of surgically enhanced models out there -which I really doubt.
    Who did Pam have to sleep with to be on the cover this time?
    Hautie, forget the photoshop skills on the cover. Imagine the photo spread. We’re talking whole body photoshop skills. Mammaries included.

  5. LindyLou says:

    Wow, she really needs to stay out of the sun. I’m about the same age as her and she looks 10 yrs older than me.

  6. Green Is Good says:

    Talk about The Photo-shop of the Year Award.

    I’m curious about the Islamic Erotica headline. The hell?!

  7. samihami says:

    LindyLou, I’m sure it’s more that just sun that has ruined her. She’s got a LOT of miles on her.

    I don’t really care what she does. She’s an adult and if she wants to pose naked, good for her. But I really feel sorry for her sons. It cannot be easy having her for a mother.

  8. guesty says:

    bet the pics are good considering how good they made her look on the cover…

  9. Bodhi says:

    Hey, my 27 year old husband gets Playboy! And, because I always get the mail, I get to read it 1st! :D The articles are REALLY good

  10. Lady D says:

    Green is Good…that caught my eye too with the same reaction. WTH?

  11. Dizzybenny says:

    I’m over 40 and I’ve been over Pam since 1995.I don’t buy playboy because hey! free porn on the internet :P
    At last i know(i heard a few years back) it’s Hef’s daughter who runs the magasine now.

  12. The Bobster says:

    She looks like a wrinkled Little Annie Fanny.

  13. original kate says:

    whoever photoshopped this hot mess into looking like that is a genius.

  14. daisyfly says:

    I absolutely love the photoshopped strip of hair over her forehead. It allows for the magazine to say they didn’t photoshop her face while still covering up the OMGWTFARETHOSECAVERNS on her forehead.

  15. Kim says:

    I like Pams personality enough but her “career” is long over. She has aged TERRIBLY due to hard partying and sun exposure.

  16. jover says:

    How many people under the age of 25 even read playboy anymore? Playboy’s first cover was Marilyn and in the 90s supermodels like Cindy Crawford and elle macpherson were on it’s covers, in the 70s esteemed writers like updike, bellow, mailer, vidal, etc. were featured – now we get this hasbeen. I agree with shay and brin is hugh senile? How many young readers is he going to get with this cover. This mag, once a landmark of pop culture, is way past it’s prime – time to put it and hugh to bed for good.

  17. craigc says:

    Put some F-in clothes on old lady!!!
    Think of your kids! Use your BRAIN!

  18. labyrinth says:

    What happened to her eyebrows? They have shrunk as her lady pillows increased.