Did Prince William & Catherine spend any time boning during their honeymoon?

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The honeymoon’s over! Blech. Kate Middleton (The Duchess of Crumpets Cambridge) and Prince William have returned to England after a ten-day honeymoon, which cost in excess of $750,000. No word on who paid the bill – it could have come from William’s inheritance, or Kate’s family, or Prince Charles (who has his own income from the Duchy of Cornwall), or the Queen or the British taxpayers. Who knows? Anyway, Us Weekly had a nice article about what William and Kate did when they weren’t boning. It actually sounds like they spent a lot of time not boning.

England’s future King and Queen in the wild, wild kingdom! Prince William and Duchess Kate have always loved the great outdoors — so it’s no surprise that their super-luxe honeymoon on a private, rented island in the Seychelles included many close encounters with wildlife.

“They got to see some wonderful things,” Amanda Hunt, press attache for the Seychelles government, told Us Weekly following the royal couple’s departure.

William, 28, and Kate, 29, had visited the Seychelles before, in 2007, when they made their secret marriage pact.

“They are very aware of our environmental record and the fact that Seychelles puts such a high premium on our environment,” Hunt said of the outdoorsy couple. “Over 50 percent of our land is deemed as a nature reserve, so there’s very little land for development. It’s definitely very important to Prince William,” Hunt said.

“He mentioned that again on departure, how his expectations are always superseded by how well we look after our environment.”

The Prince’s favorite moments? “He did very much mention enjoying the wildlife,” Hunt noted, explaining that the newlyweds went on “several dives.”

Among the creatures spotted: “They saw a turtle nest hatching. The turtles come off out of the sea and they lay their eggs,” Hunt said. “Not many people get the timing right to be able to see the eggs hatch and the little turtles swim out into the sea. You have to get up very early to see it.”

During scuba diving expeditions, the duo checked out coral, sea turtles, giant stingrays — and sharks! “Friendly sharks, not deadly sharks,” Hunt was quick to point out.

William has, of course, dived around the world, Hunt said. “The Seychelles is one of the best he’s ever seen. He really loved it here!”

[From Us Weekly]

Blah, blah NOT BONING NOT BONING. I mean, sure, I know this was basically written by the tourism board and hey, I would love a trip to Seychelles too, and I would totally hang with the baby turtles, but not on my honeymoon! Especially if, like Kate allegedly did, I closed up the biscuit factory for several months before the nuptials. I would be molesting my new husband in front of the baby turtles. And then some. But Kate is a lady! She would never!

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Meanwhile, there’s some interesting news about Pippa Middleton and her ex, the very rich son of a duke named George Percy. According to The Mail, Pippa is “taken on a new job” with this Percy chap. She’s going to be working at his geothermal energy firm. Um… what are her qualifications exactly? According to a source, “Pip and George are really close friends so when he needed someone to help out with office stuff, she was the obvious person to ask. She’s enjoying getting stuck in to something new.” Damn. Bitch really wants to be a duchess. But hey, she’s doing a lot more than Waity ever did.

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Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.

 

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45 Responses to “Did Prince William & Catherine spend any time boning during their honeymoon?”

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  1. Jinny says:

    Personally, I think they are an unsexy couple so I can’t imagine them boning in the first place. Lovely, proper couple… just not sexy.

    Also, Pippa looks good in the first pic (Canadian tuxedo). But the second made me laugh out loud. Her pose/posture screams gerbil granny!

  2. kasper says:

    i suspect they are avoiding getting horizontal because she is not actually attracted to junior bald-spot there, she is attracted to his title — and you just can’t bone a title. junior bald-spot on the other hand, is not attracted to her, he selected her because he perceived in katy the “moral flexibility” to put up with his diddling other women, while allowing him and his family to shape her like clay. everything about her screams weak sense of identity.

    but they will have to have sex at some point – they must produce a future prince bald-spot. that’s what she’s there for, to be a broodmare for those spectacular (barf) royal (hurl) genes (upchuck).

  3. lea+ann=crap says:

    so pippa used the holiday to angle for a job?darn!what a waste!

  4. MeMyself says:

    For some reason I find that 10 pack of Camel Lights in Kate’s purse in the taxi photo very funny.

  5. GQ says:

    yawn, royals are boring
    I’m surprised new photos of Fassbender with blond hair still not posted here

  6. Jackson says:

    Well, I doubt the press release is going to detail their private time, eh? And I think after you’ve been together for so long you may not be quite as into ripping each other’s clothes off as if, say, you’d only dated a short time before getting married. The sex is always gonne be there, the baby turtles aren’t!!!

  7. the original bellaluna says:

    More like “Pippa’s enjoying getting stuck by someone new.” But whatever.

  8. really says:

    she so boned the willer! HOPEFULLY “jane and Tarzan” style………… she said: me jane … you my baby daddy (oops I mean…. you tarrrzann)..

  9. K.D. says:

    These two are the most boring couple in the world. The royals are like reality t.v. stars. They are famous for being famous (in their case just for being born into an in-breed welfare family). The have no talent, provide no new knowledge to the world, just dress up pretty and shake the hands of poor people. I don’t get the point.

  10. bluhare says:

    Kaiser, not sure I agree on your “Pipp’s doing more than Waity ever did” angle. I would argue that doing nothing was a LOT for Waity. She had to get used to utter boredom while waiting for HRH to get tired of being single. That’s not easy. How much telly can a girl watch? How many party supplies can you photograph? A placecard is a placecard is a placecard, you know? I think Waity’s very overlooked for her fortitude.

  11. guesty says:

    There seems to be no sexual tension between them @ all ever. So propah.

  12. sapphire says:

    I think you’re wrong-boning in the water and on the beach is a honeymoon tradition! Even if the baby turtles are watching.

    Yawn. Non-news.

  13. Susa says:

    No fair, Pippa’s got a pretty blue Birkin! Must have cash from somewhere.

  14. jackie says:

    Waity, as you continue to call her ad nauseum, in the long run did better than Pippa.

    In the case of, who-out-does-who, Kate got the Prince and next in line.

    So 1-0 Kate, no matter how long she waited, it was more effective than coming off as a desperate “title-digger”.

  15. aenflex says:

    they have been f’ing for almost a decade, why would anyone expect the honeymoon to be amorous?

  16. Aurelia says:

    Yep, those are a packet of fags in waity’s purse. She is a smoker. Heard the rumour beofre, now have the photographic proof. Posh spice fags too. Takes the edge off the appetittie for those who have eating disorders. That and the diet coke and ADH meds. In waitys case it was the wedding stress and the horror of finding her sister looking skinnier than her on the big day.

  17. Mag says:

    That Birkin looks brand spanking new. Press freebie? The whole look is average at best -sloppy at worst. What did that Birkin do to deserve that…

  18. Roberta says:

    I LOL’ed…. “blah blah NOT BONING NOT BONING”….too funny. Kaiser needs a raise, people!! :)

  19. Lisa Turtle says:

    Kate is not doing her American debut with morning sickness.

    She’s probably still on the pill, and will be until August-September.

    I think, if everything goes according to plan, a Spring 2012 baby is on the horizon for these two.

  20. Chickie Baby says:

    Wait just a minute..hey, GQ! There are new photos of Fassbender…with blonde hair? MUST. FIND. FASSBENDER.

    But what is up with Pippa in that last picture? How many HUGE bags/purses does one woman need to haul around on a daily basis just to run errands? Pick ONE. Geez.

  21. JulieM says:

    Ah-the Wisteria Sisters. I simply do not comprehend why anyone would look up to these two. Boring and hanging on to rich men for dear life. Well, Waity got her man, or rather she got her title. I get the feeling that the British public may end up becoming very tired of her.

  22. Cat Burrito says:

    Impressive, most impressive. Pippa the Sucretary.

  23. 4Real says:

    I’m still confused are all the really beautiful women in England already taken?

  24. londonLady says:

    Kind of gross to start your story with a comment about two future monarchs having sex. Sorry to be all sanctimonious, but its not ok on our side of the pond. Pls retract

  25. Hmmm says:

    I wonder if Kate or Wills or both just lie back and think of England. Heh.

    As for their sense of wonder at nature and conservancy- yeah….how many animals and birds have they killed over the years for sport? I spit in their general direction.

  26. kasper says:

    @londonlady actually it is about these two not having sex. there is no suggestion that princess waity got intimate with prince baldspot II’s unmentionables. i hope that clears things up for the sake of decorum, international peace, and unearned privilege.

  27. kasper says:

    my comments keep disappearing

  28. futureperfect says:

    @Hmmm: “I wonder if Kate or Wills or both just lie back and think of England. Heh.”

    I’ll second that heh.

  29. kasper says:

    yet another missing comment

  30. kasper says:

    another missing comment?

  31. kasper says:

    @londonlady, for the sake of preserving international peace and unearned privilege, i will clarify. the post isn’t about princess waity and prince bald-spot III having sex, it is about them not having sex.

  32. Alix says:

    How long will it be before anyone refers to these two correctly? They’re not “Prince William and Duchess Kate”, they are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, period.

  33. kasper says:

    @ Alix – we’ll forget they exist before we refer to them “correctly”. it is princess waity and prince bald-spot III until then.

  34. futureperfect says:

    @Kasper. I like these monikers, Princess Waity and Prince Bald-spot III, but I’m from the other other side of the pond.

    My god, I can smell the sense of entitlement from here like old cheese. No wonder Brits have the rep for having sticks up their asses. You are not serving your country well my dears! Toodles.

  35. TG says:

    @londonlady – We love the Brits and sorry you are offended but this gossip site is called Celebitchy for a reason. And this is hardly a story anyway, I think Kaiser did this story just so she can poke fun at the Duchess or Princess Catherine. What is more exciting are those cigarattes MeMyself spotted in Princess Catherine’s purse. Now that is a story. I read on Lainey’s site that she is a smoker but not sure as mentioned above if it is just a temorary thing or she has always smoked. I don’t smoke so I couldn’t imagine just smoking to lose weight for a few months so makes me think it is something more. I like them together and I hope he really does love her and has no plans to go philandering.

    And I hope you don’t get offended when we start lusting after Prince Harry.

  36. LuckyLilGem says:

    Who cares about Pippa! She can’t even dress herself without her big sister around; girlfriend looks like a sloppy mess!

    Let’s stay focused on Waity and Willy.

  37. Poppy says:

    The Seychelles are beautiful but it’s hot as Hades no matter what time of the year you go, usually around 90degrees day and night so its hard to sleep, not only that but there are thunderstorms most evenings so there was plenty of boning time after the sun went down.

  38. Dirty Martini says:

    Meh. I havent boned anything Ive been with for 10 years either. Come to think of it, my max thus far has been 7.

  39. kasper says:

    TG: who is this “we” that you speak of — is that the royal “we”? because i don’t think anyone nominated you to speak on their behalf, or to lust after pumpkinhead on their behalf, for that matter.

  40. orion70 says:

    no one wants a sandy vagina.

  41. K.D. says:

    @londonlady: you make it sound like Kaiser is talking about the Pope having sex. There are recordings of Prince Charles talking about have nasty sex with Camilla and trashing Diana. These “monarchs” are regular humans who fck, use the toilet, fart, spit, and put their pants on one leg at a time. You sound like you bought all that B.S. about these people being divine and selected by God to rule over the “common” people. I kind of feel bad for the people on your side of the pond whose tax dollars go towards keeping these “monarchs” in diamonds.

  42. Micki says:

    She must have boned him to death before the wedding just to keep him interested.It’s time to catch up some sleep after all.She can get pregnant after a quickie in the next Opera pause.

  43. The Bobster says:

    I’m betting they boned in the great outdoors and she’s already preggers.

  44. Aurelia says:

    I digress, but remember when Charles wished he was Cams tampon so he could be up her gash all the time? … sicko

  45. Kitty_Cal says:

    “suspect they are avoiding getting horizontal because she is not actually attracted to junior bald-spot there, she is attracted to his title — and you just can’t bone a title.”

    Women have banged dudes for a lot less than a princely title. I bet she’s biting the bullet like a pro. Can’t imagine that he’s exactly an artiste at dirty talk though. Sounds awkward.