Snooki really is pregnant, wants to fashion self as “the next Kourtney Kardashian”

The Snooki and J-Woww “Jersey Shore” spinoff (which is partially funded with taxpayer money) has commenced filming, and the show has a horrific name — “Snooki and J-Woww vs. The World” — that sort of makes sense because a neighboring Jersey City wine shop has banned the girls from entering the premises. Well, there’s more than one liquor store in the city, and the pair have found many stores that will accept their patronage. The Mail has some photos of the girls out shopping with a barefaced J-Woww proving that she really hasn’t had plastic surgery on her face. Makeup really makes a difference in her case, but there’s no accounting either J-Woww or Snooki’s taste. Snooki has already had a zebra-print couch delivered to the house, and here are some photos of the girls decorating with their awful style sense that mostly includes hot pinks and animal prints.

Now onto the better part of this story, which hints at Nicole Polizzi’s possible budding sense of entrepreneurship and planned persona. Sometimes (although only for a few moments), I start to believe that the Snooki alter ego is merely an act, but then I realize that “Snooki” is mostly a drunken byproduct. A prime example of this would be last week’s “Jersey Shore” episode where Deena’s fake eyelashes fell off, and Snooki made a crack about them swimming in the Pacific ocean. As such, I am fairly certain Snooki is merely an extension of Nicole’s actual personality and not so much an act as what she’s really like when the booze flows and the guard goes down. However, some people think that Snooki is more clever than she appears, and this lastest story goes back to the early February rumors that Snooki was knocked up with Jionni LaValle’s orange baby. At the time, Snooki denied being preggers, but the Post has talked to a source that claims that Snooki was lying and is just pretending not to be pregnant until her brokered announcement deal with Us Weekly comes to fruition:

The universe’s collective IQ should prepare to drop a few points.

Though she has publicly denied she’s expecting, sources say trashy “Jersey Shore” guidette Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is indeed pregnant and has plans to bankroll her mommy-to-be status into becoming “the next Kourtney Kardashian.”

We’re told Polizzi, 24, is carrying her first child by boyfriend Jionni LaValle, and is roughly three months along.

Sources said the reality star, who denied being preggers earlier this month, has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to several celebrity magazines.

But sources tell Page Six that MTV is worried about how to manage the news, given that Polizzi’s hard-partying, booze-swilling ways have just been turned into a “Jersey Shore” spinoff with Jenni “JWoww” Farley, which has begun shooting in New Jersey.

“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,” said a source. “They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show.” The untitled new show has just begun taping and focuses on the ladies’ relationship as friends and roommates — and whatever adventures come their way.

Star magazine reported a few weeks ago that Snooki was pregnant but had told “only her close friends and family.” But Polizzi went on “GMA” on Feb. 2 to tell Lara Spencer, “I definitely do want kids, but I’m not pregnant . . . Being pregnant should be a real thing and a happy thing, and I’m not.”

Since then, Polizzi, who last year lost 20 pounds off of her 4-foot-9 frame by working out, eating healthy and taking a weight-loss supplement, has started filming her new show in Jersey City. Photos taken on the set shown her carrying large bags to hide her belly.

A rep for MTV said the network “doesn’t comment on series in production.” Polizzi’s rep declined to comment.

[From Page Six]

LMAO at MTV fearing that Snooki’s knocked-up status will affect the “creative direction of the show” … as if it’s a statement of art to point a camera at Snooki while she does idiotic things like frolic in the ocean surf during high tide. As for the alleged method of Snooki carrying giant bags to hide her belly, that’s a total wash too because she always carries outrageously huge purses. Then again, most “normal”-sized items do look humongous when itty-bitty Snooki carries them.

However, I can believe that Snooki’s really pregnant and has merely brokered a deal to announce her status at a strategically-timed point. What I don’t believe is that she dreamt up the plan herself — either MTV told her to wait before announcing, or her ever-present father told her to get paid.

Here’s J-Woww with her two dogs outside the new home base. I think the little one is named “Lean Cuisine.”

And here’s a photo of Snooki’s own customized Cadillac pickup truck with gaudy pink accents and “Boss Lady” emblazoned on the back as well. Such revolting taste!

Photos courtesy of WENN and Pacific Coast News

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43 Responses to “Snooki really is pregnant, wants to fashion self as “the next Kourtney Kardashian””

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  1. Delta Juliet says:

    Ugh…..revolting. The whole thing.

    • laylajanelovesgossip says:

      I’ve never watched the show but she is not a bright woman. Why would you get pregnant NOW??Her light is not gonna be shining for much longer.

      Why not start a family then? Anytime a Kardashian is a role model in your life, something is really wrong with you.IJS

  2. brin says:

    Aspiring to be a Kardashian, what a goal.

  3. Lee says:

    Get ready Smithsonian Institut. The new museum exhibit is on the way.

  4. Marjalane says:

    As soon as I finish banging my head against the wall to try and get the image of Snooki with a baby out of it, I’m going to throw up.

  5. nikzilla37 says:

    This is happening in my neighborhood. They have 4 Jersey City cops guarding their home during the day. It’s awful but I secretly want to run into them.

  6. dorothy says:

    Wow, I remember when people wanted to be astronauts. Now, it’s reality stars? How sad a nation we have become.

    • Maguita says:


      I blame it on the Jerry Springer and Maury shit-show. 15 years ago we thought it was stupid, and no one would behave that way, so it stayed on the air, and played on for our kids to watch when they got back home from school.

      We thought those shows were caricatures of human nature. But jump 15 years later, and they had sadly become our “Reality Human Nature”.

      Gag me with a spoon is too sweet of the hateful thoughts this brings on.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        I agree that it started with Maury & Springer, and the attitude at the time was “This is the basest sub-level of humanity” because it wasn’t all that common.

        But my mom never allowed “trash tv” watching in our home, and neither did I. So I don’t know who would let their kids listen to that crap as background noise, let alone watch it.

  7. NeNe says:

    I think this Snooki mania is out of control. I cannot beleive how fascinated people are with her. She is a poor excuse for a role model.

    The only good thing I can say about her is that she certainly does have high expectations, doesn’t see??

  8. Me says:

    Role model??? If anyone is searching for a role model on tv (or anywhere for that matter) then they deserve whatever trash they find.

  9. Agnes says:

    that’s it. we’re done as a species.

  10. Holden says:

    Those pictures crack me up, horrible.

  11. Mary jones says:

    I am for forced steralization for some people and this is why!!

  12. lilred says:

    Oh My Sweet Jesus…she will be the next “mom” with a kid on Toddlers & Tiaras.

  13. Lem says:

    I think snooki is a sharper tack than her persona would lead us to believe. Kourtney Kardashian , while not my goal certainly is famous enough and makes enough bank for doing minimal work. Keep in mind, snooki is a *shudder* NYT best selling author AND landed her own spin off + multiple endorsement deals.
    Do I think she a tacky young Jersey twit? Yes. Do I believe snooki is making bank and socking a hefty chunk away whilst MTV or whomever foots her living expenses, to have the last laugh. Yes, surprisingly, I do! I believe this twit is smarter than other twits.

    • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

      She’s actually a NY twit. Deena (lower budget Snooki) Tara Reid and Chelsea Handler are embarrassments that we hope you can forgive us for; after all, we’re also responsible for some pretty awesome talents: Michael Douglas, Frank Sinatra, Meryl Streep, Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora, Steve Forbes, Peter Dinklage, James Gandoldini, Whitney Houston, Ed Harris, Lauryn Hill, Ray Liotta, Shaquille O’ Neil, Michael Pitt, Kelly Rippa, Martha Stewert and many many more!

      • Lem says:

        My apologies. All I know of Jersey is from tv or the few friends whose conversations seem to mostly be about exits.
        Thought their shtick was about being ‘all Jersey’ am I wrong?

      • D says:

        Yes you’re wrong…Jenni and Snooki are from upstate NY, Vinny’s from Staten Island, Mike’s originally from Staten Island, and Ronnie’s from NY..Seaside Heights is a mile square town that has always attracted people from outside of NJ and is not a representation of real NJ which also happens to be the 2nd wealthiest state in the country. Seaside Heights has always been known as ‘Sleaside Heights’ since I was a little girl for a reason. NJ people go to Sleaside to look at the sleaze. When Jersey Shore first aired my friends from around the country who have never been to Jersey asked if that’s what it’s really like…no..Sleaside does not represent NJ..all states have a sleazy town like this..

  14. The Bobster says:

    Oh no, the Squatster is breeding. Will she name the orange sprog “Julius”?

  15. MissVJJ says:

    Her taste in fashion is a little out there. Im starting to think “Snooki” *is* a persona for the cameras. The makeup, fashion, and nails. A little too much. Have you seen the pic of her without makeup? She’s a very pretty girl. I don’t know why she’d go the extra mile to look like she does on camera. Well no matter what anyone thinks.. She will never give a crap.

  16. dahlia noir says:

    Are those names ?? J-woow ? Seriously?

  17. Camille (The original) says:

    I’d rather hear about the cast of ‘Geordie Shore’. They are far more entertaining and for some reason don’t seem as stupid as this lot.

  18. LastDaze says:

    How low do you have to be to aspire to be a Kardashian?

  19. Ana says:

    …and there are some good and nice people who never can get pregnant not matter how hard they try…

    I wonder what they think when they read news like this?

  20. Kim says:

    I dont dislike her but I think her & all the Jersey Shore cast 15 mins are up. People are over the show. I cant imagine this new show getting alot of viewers unless they really pack on the fake drama.

  21. Hootie hoo says:

    I’m surprised they have a big enough fan base to get a spin-off. Aren’t they getting a bit old for clubbing and getting drunk? What’s next? The Geriatric Shore – Situation with a comb-over showing his saggy abs and Deena breaking a hip from doing the Jersey Turnpike.
    This is the longest 15 minutes of fame ever.

  22. Jennifer12 says:

    God, this poor kid. Why do these idiots think they should start a family as something to do? How about getting an education, a commitment from the father, a real job?

  23. Jover says:

    are these creatures even real human beings?

  24. Louise says:

    Is the TV show title a Scott Pilgrim reference? ;)

  25. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    Don’t think this was unplanned AT ALL. Sounds like a totally calculated famewhore move designed to set her apart from the other idiots on that show. Next season she’ll have her own show with the baby and baby daddy as her “supporting cast.” Using Kourtney Kardashian’s life as a career template pretty much confirms just HOW calculated a move this is. Also, in the few moments of Jersey Shore I could stomach, I’ve repeatedly heard Snooki say she wanted to have Jionni’s baby.

    And who the hell spells Gianni “Jionni?”

  26. paola says:

    Exactly my thought! I was reading the article and then i found the name Jionni and with me being italian i said ‘wtf is that name??’ Jionni is just a whitetrash name, gross and tacky just as much as snooki is.
    I’m sure she’ll give birth to a tangerine, round and orange, just like its mum! hopefully it’ll be a boy, god help the poor baby if it turns out to be a girl… i can see a whole lot of baby gear being animal print, gold and pink, baby hair extensions, fake lashes, pink lipbalm and fake nails.

  27. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @Paola, LOL agreed! And the baby’s name will probably also be a bastardized version of a real Italian name.

  28. paola says:

    It’ll probably be something like Thomasso, Elizabettha or Jianna..