This In Touch Weekly story gave me an enormous amount of pleasure. Not that I’m cosigning it, and not that I think it’s 100% genuine, but I just enjoy that the tabloids are playing catch-up on the fact that Duchess Kate is much less than the sum of her propaganda. In Touch’s “royal sources” claim that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, thinks Kate is rather dull. And lazy. And dumb. And vain. This actually isn’t the first time we’ve heard about the Queen’s questioning of Kate’s work ethic – it was widely reported (by legit and tabloid sources) that several years before William proposed to Kate, the Queen wanted to know if Kate was ever going to get a real job. The Queen thought it was unbecoming for a young, unmarried woman to simply spent her 20s waiting around for a prince. And now that Kate has married into “The Firm,” the Queen is still wondering, “Seriously, is this woman ever going to do anything?”
As if it wasn’t bad enough to be called Waity Katie for eight years, poor Kate Middleton is now known in the royal inner circle as Duchess of Dolittle! Though Kate has appeared at dozens of charity events since marrying Prince William last April, that’s not good enough for Queen Elizabeth II, who’s been complaining of her “laziness,” a royal source reveals.
Stuck at home while William is in the Falklands, Kate is under pressure to be more like Princess Diana.
A source says, “The Queen maintains a full schedule of events,” and huffs that Kate isn’t doing the same.
Some of the other complaints?
“She doesn’t get out enough!” – In less than a year, Kate has made 35 appearances at charity events, but that’s nothing to the Queen, who recalls Princess Diana’s superhuman efforts as a new royal – 170 engagements in a year!
“She’s much too vain!” – With all eyes on Kate – and women all over Britain copying her famous hairstyle – she is under tremendous pressure to look her best. Indeed, a royal source shares that she spends four to five hours getting her hair cut and styled.
“She spends too much money!” – Kate caused a stir when she shoed up at a charity event carrying a $1,300 Mulberry bag, and often wears expensive clothes during her few charitable outings.
“She isn’t very bright.” During a viewing of her wedding dress at Buckingham Palace with the Queen, Kate raised royal eyebrows when she asked if priceless antique Faberge eggs were still being made. An uninformed statement for an art history major. Still, Kate will be the first queen to have graduated college!
[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]
Basically, the Queen and I are the same person. We have the same complaints, only mine are centered mostly on how Kate prioritizes shopping and salon appointments much more than any royal duty. And of course, I’ve been calling Kate “hilariously lazy” for years. It’s true – she is. Sigh… I wish I could hang out with Liz and the corgis. We could Mean-Girl the Duchess of Dolittle. “OMG, her eyeliner,” I would say to the Queen. “Quite right. She needs to get off ‘er arse!” the Queen replies.
And before The Duchess Patrol comes and cries about how Kate is STILL LEARNING, etc, let me just say – sure. I do believe she’s still learning. As I’ve said, there’s a learning curve for new royalty, and I do applaud her for not making any major (or even minor) fumbles when she does do an event. But there are two big issues: one, she isn’t doing enough events. At all. Because she’s lazy. And two, Kate is kind of vapid. I mean… William married her, and she does seem like a “nice” girl, but she’s not some bright, shining, independent role model. She just… waited. She’s patient. And dull. As we were discussing in the earlier post, when Kate speaks, it’s not like she’s ever blowing people away with her insightful comments or sparkling wit. She says things like, “I love chocolate. I think all girls like chocolate” and admitting that she doesn’t know how to make a cup of tea. And of course, there’s this video which highlights her lack of… something. Lack of preparation. Lack of concern. Lack of interest. Lack of ability to do anything but stutter talking points.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN and PCN.