Kate Gosselin used a wooden spoon to spank kids hard at 2 years old: wrong and cruel?


We’ve seen Kate Gosselin spanking her children. In Touch ran a cover in 2009 (above) featuring Kate smacking one of her sextuplets, Leah, when the girl was five. In response to those photographs, Kate said “Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first. I love my children and when they misbehave, I discipline them as I deem appropriate for the situation.” Just prior to those photos coming out, a former staffer of Kate’s told The National Enquirer that she regularly used a plastic spoon to hit the children, very hard, for minor offenses. According to the source, Kate would make sure she smacked the kids off camera so that it wouldn’t be shown on “Kate Plus 8.” I guess Kate is conscious of how she looks with the cameras around even though she tried to play like she doesn’t pay attention to them.

A new book is coming out on Kate Gosselin, and it may paint her in an even worse light than we’ve seen on her show. The author supposedly had access to the diaries Kate used as source material for her books. In unpublished entries, Kate admits using a wooden spoon on her children she nicknamed “the spanker,” and being afraid that she would do real harm to them. If this is true it’s too late now:

“She was beating 2-year-old babies in diapers,” reporter Robert Hoffman, who claims he found secret journals that Kate used to help her write her books, Multiple Bles8ings and EightLittle Faces, told Star magazine.

According to Hoffman, the former Kate Plus 8 star kept detailed notes on her computer about using a wooden spoon to hit her children, yanking them around by their hair, and punishing them for transgressions as minor as trying to climb out of a crib or not adjusting to potty training quickly enough.

“I don’t judge somebody for spanking, but what Kate wrote in her journal is just absolute violence,” Hoffman tells Star exclusively.

He adds that Kate’s lawyers attempted to block his forthcoming book, Kate Gosselin: How She Fooled the World.

Kate’s own words may indict her, claims Hoffman. One example: When three of her children helped themselves to M&Ms without permission, she allegedly wrote, “I really, really lost it! I pulled Collin up by the hair, and I spanked them so hard!”

Kate, 37, also utilizes a wooden spoon, which she calls The Spanker, claims Hoffman.

“She uses that Spanker on a daily basis for anything and everything. The spanking entries are endless,” he alleges.

Kate herself often worried about her excessive physicality, allegedly writing in the diary that she told her ex-husband, Jon Gosselin, that she “felt like I may hurt his children,” and that she preferred it when the kids were “out of her sight” whenever she flew off the handle, because then she knew “that they are safe.”

In another frightening entry, claims Hoffman, Kate wrote that she was so incensed after Collin threw a tantrum, “I sent him to his crib and whipped him into it very hard…I never felt that I may really seriously injure a child, but today was that day.”

[From Radar Online]

It must be really hard to deal with six two year-olds and two six year-olds, and maybe Kate’s many nannies were not in her bitchy employ at that point. Still, there is no excuse for using a spoon to spank a two year-old child. I’ve discussed my thoughts on corporal punishment in these older stories on Kate smacking her kids. You can read more there, but I’ll just say now that I don’t think it works longterm, that it’s more for the adult letting off steam than for the child, and that it teaches children that violence is an acceptable response to conflict. That said, I would not get all up in arms about a light smack on the butt. When is it ever acceptable to smack a toddler hard with a spoon like that though?

Also, how did this author get access to Kate’s personal diaries on her computer? If this is all true, and I’m guessing it is, I bet that Jon Gosselin was pretty helpful in providing source material.

 

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154 Responses to “Kate Gosselin used a wooden spoon to spank kids hard at 2 years old: wrong and cruel?”

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  1. some bitch says:

    UUUGH. She keeps coming back like a bad rash!

    Hitting your children is ALWAYS wrong. Hitting a two year old with a spoon is especially wrong. A light spanking, I don’t entirely see a problem with it seeing as I got it a few times as a kid and it was well deserved. There are better ways to deal with children than resorting to hitting, and as a former nurse she should know. And throwing a baby into his crib? I don’t have kids, but that’s beyond messed up.

    • Bluebear says:

      I totally agree. I use time-outs for my daughter and those usually do the trick. She has had, maybe three, spankings in her life but I’m talking an open-handed swat to the clothed butt.

      Now, not to “defend” Kate’s behavior, but I do wonder what I would be like if I had eight children all at once under six. At one point they had two 6year olds and six 2 year olds! What is described is absolutely abuse, but I can understand losing your mind when dealing with that many children. It doesn’t excuse it, but it does explain it.

      • hmmm says:

        This woman is a parasite. I am completely disgusted by her antics.

      • ShugAveryPee says:

        Sorry but spanking your kids is not WRONG… That is why it is not illegal in ANY state…. Spankings are effect… Notice I said spankings… not using objects on babies… 2 year olds can benefit from a light tap on the hand… but never with any object … I have very rarely seen these parents that are against spankings have deceit behaving kids… most kids nowadays in this no spanking era are out of control and have too much mouth and very little respect …. My mother did little spanking cause she had that ” LOOK” and you knew to knock it off… But to each his own… Just my opinion I am sure you are all lovely parents… Kate just brings put the RANT in me… She needs to lay of the tanning

    • Amelia says:

      Completely agree with you two. I don’t have kids yet, but my Mum (for whatever reason) has been getting broody about being a grandmother lately (can you be broody about grandkids?). Anyway, she sometimes feels like dropping in the odd bit of parenting advice at the most random of times, and I remember her telling me positive reinforcement outweighs harsh punishment every time. I was never, ever smacked/spanked as a child, and the only time my mum ever laid a hand on me was to bat my hand away from a pan of hot oil before I burnt myself. And I think I turned out pretty well – I’m thoroughly happy with the way things have worked out, my sis and I are very independent and we have the best relationship with our mum.
      I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hurt a kid. No matter what they do. The naughty step seems to work for Supernanny (is that aired Stateside?) so why not Gosselin? As someone below mentioned, as long as the discipline is consistent and you don’t suddenly slack off it, it will work.
      I understand she’s got 8 kids and that must be a helluva handful, but I still think there are other ways to maintain discipline rather than smacking. I remember with my little sister (who was *far* naughtier than I was) my mum would use logic. Once she understood *why* she shouldn’t do something, she didn’t do it again.

      • Relli says:

        YES we have Supernanny!

        And you are totally right Supernanny does not like spanking and i believe has said it is the worst way to deal with children. I also noticed that the families who heavily relied upon physical reinforcement had the most difficulties because once children start getting big, your not as scary and its hard to put that same amount of fear in them.

        I was never hit as child, but my husband was (excessively) and he vowed never to do it to his own. I have lost my temper with my own toddler but i have figured out its usually because I am frustrated by another aspect of my life and thats when i need to step away. Moms need timeouts too.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Amelia – I had “the naughty chair” for my two oldest kids. One minute in it for each year old they were. I also took away privileges and toys/games.

        The only time I ever used a wooden spoon was when I was making dinner, and they were engaged in some manner of foolery. I smacked it on the counter so hard it broke. That made my point clear. But it also made crystal clear that hitting a person (which I hadn’t done) with a utensil is NOT okay. (This was before I had my Amish wooden spoons – which are FABULOUS, BTW – because NOTHING can break those!)

        As far as thinking you could never hurt a child, I think we all feel that way. But the reality of the situation is that if parents allow their total frustration to encompass them, that child WILL be hurt, one way or another.

        When I got frustrated (I was a single parent for years), I used to tell my older two (they were my “only’s” back then) “Mommy needs a time-out. She’s going to go to her room, and she’ll be out in a few minutes. Please behave.” And it WORKED! :D

      • MeMyself says:

        What an awesome Mom you have Amelia!
        I am one of the few moms here in my group that doesn’t smack, tap, hit, etc…
        I think it’s so wrong.
        Especially remembering how my own mother used a wooden spoon, once it broke while she was in a frenzy.
        Which meant she moved on to vacume cleaner cords….shudder….

      • Amelia says:

        Ohh, Bellaluna, don’t get me started on those wooden spoons! I’ve had the same one for a good few years, it’s seen a *lot* of baking action and I swear if we ever see nuclear war it’ll be hanging out with the cockroaches :)
        I’ve just been reading a few more comments and what I’ve noticed is that parents who were abused/hit excessively (like your hubby Relli) seem to be the type to not lay a hand on their kids; my Mum was beaten and emotionally abused as a child and she’s the sweetest most lovely parent I could ever ask for. I suppose you either repeat your parents’ methods or eschew them completely.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Amelia – Yep. My mom is the kindest, most patient, most loving person in the world. (I’ve joked that I need to give her “bitch lessons” because she’s such a gentle soul.)

        Unfortunately (or fortunately, I guess), Hubs is being “re-educated” about parenting (with Toddles), because he suffered a lot of abuse (emotional and physical) as the neglected oldest child of a drug addict and her extended family.

        He knows what he DOESN’T want to do, but the application is a little more difficult for him. I like to think I’m a good influence.

      • TG says:

        This is in response to Ameila and Bellaluna – I agree with you both and it sounds like both of you were lucky to have loving parents. I commented below that I don’t support hitting/abusing kids and that it happened to me, though the psychological abuse was worse than the spankings, and in my 30′s still dealing with it. I have a toddler now and have always said I would never hit and that I am going with the authoritative philosophy of raising kids which sounds like the philosophy your parents followed, even if they didn’t know it. But, as bellaluna said in regards to her husband, knowing what you want to do and having the skills to do it are two different things. I have never hit my child nor have I been tempted but sometimes when she is not listening such as repeatedly trying to knock over the lamp, etc. I get frustrated because the only response I ever saw was to get angry and hit. While I don’t get tempted to hit the temptation to yell at her is there sometimes because I don’t know how to correct the behavior. Of course I am learning and have done a lot of reading and observing of others so I think I am well on my way to being a good mom and hopefully raise a well-adjusted child. That is why children of abuse often end up abusing their own because they don’t have proper coping skills since all they know is what they saw even if in their mind they don’t want to do what their parents did.

      • Steph says:

        I completely agree. The kids I know who’s parents smack them all use violence to solve conflict. It drives me nuts when I hang out with my sister and her kids. Her daughter is always hitting my daughter, and recently mine has started hitting back, but she is bigger so it always ends with my niece screaming with my daughter on top of her. Short of keeping them apart, I don’t know what to do. My daughter has been hit or pushed by other kids before, but just comes to me for help. I don’t want her getting bullied, but I don’t want her fighting either…any advice?

    • Dinah says:

      Agree. I,too, gave the occasional pop to the behind (pop= 1 swat with the hand) to my three (twins & singleton)as preschoolers, and rarely in early elementary school. Now that we are all much older, though, I do with I had had more patience/foresight/sleep to take a breath instead. I have talked to my teen & pre-teens about this.

      Yanking children by their hair? Over m&m’s & potty training? Repulsive & reprehensible. I feel so very sad for those babies ( yes, I know they are no longer babies- I still often refer to mine as ‘my babies’). Case-o-sadz on this one.

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        I was beat with a wooden spoon by my elderly sitter (beginning at age 2) and she had enough strength to break the spoon on my backside. She also used to leave me in the high chair for the 6-8 hours she would watch me (and 2 other children), while my parents worked. I don’t remember any of it, but the older children told their mother about the abuse and we were all pulled out of her “care.” For this reason I won’t let anyone, except my mother, watch my boys. I can’t imagine feeling unsafe with the only person that’s supposed to protect you. Those poor kids :(

    • irishserra says:

      I was “spanked” too as a child with belts, hangers, paddle, etc. It did nothing but make me angry towards my parents and at times fearful. I absolutely don’t condone whipping or beating. I’m of the school that physical discipline largely is for those parents who are too lazy or not clever enough to deal properly with children. And in that case, one has no business breeding if they can’t rear their child without resorting to hitting them (which sends a confusing-as-hell message to children about physical violence anyway).

  2. Honey Poo Poo formally known as beyonce's bump says:

    I was raised by an African mom, spanking was/is no big deal back in Africa. The kinds of punishment I got…my oh my, my rents will probably be locked up if it had been in Canada. lol but I came out alright I guess…anyway no big deal to me.

    • Honey Poo Poo formally known as beyonce's bump says:

      Oh I FORGOT to finish my comment….spanking in and of itself is No big deal but I think spanking a 2 year old baby in the way it is described IS pretty scary AND cruel sounding!

    • cmc says:

      Yeah, raised by a Dominican mom here and I was spanked a LOT- with belts, switches, shoes, the works. My mom had 3 kids, 3 years apart and my brothers were a handful and a half- I was not a bad kid at all but she was usually pretty stressed from dealing with the boys. I was spanked for “minor infractions” and it corrected my behavior, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t consider my upbringing abuse, and we all turned out okay and we love and respect our mom. She had a tough time stuck with 3 kids (two of whom were very naughty and sneaky) while my dad traveled for weeks at a time for work.

      So, Kate Gosselin has 8. She has to maintain order somehow. I don’t think this is that bad.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Hubs was raised (in part) by a Puerto Rican grandmother, who had no qualms about hitting him with a switch, so I hear what you’re saying.

      I was raised by a non-hitting mother (she was an abused child), and I’m more of a non-hitter myself.

      There is an appropriate, open-handed-swat-on-a-diapered-bum medium.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        I can count on one hand the times I was hit or I hit my kids.

        That said, I have been saying for YEARS that this woman is an abusive, horrible person. She used to hit Jon too and even haha playfully cough, hit emeril with a spoon.

        She would do terrible things to those kids when they were sick, would rant and screech at them in public. She is a freaking nightmare with a team of nannies. There are sites that have been around for years exposing the real Kate.

        All you have to do is YouTube it and you will see neglect, endangerment and abuse, both physical and verbal. One film crew walked off en masse in protest of Kate’s treatment of the kids.

        She is as disgusting as they come. You don’t beat a 24 month old with a spoon, where is the teachable moment there? They aren’t eight with reasoning powers, they are babies!

      • the original bellaluna says:

        OTiff – I never watched her show (except the clips on The Soup) but I am well aware of GWOP, and the stories about her make me sick. I cannot imagine treating ANY child the way she treats her own.

        You don’t smack a kid with objects, especially a toddler. There is no cause for that, and your likening it to smacking a puppy is spot on.

        There is no devious thought behind a toddler’s actions. It’s all impulse and lack of self control. Which WE are supposed to teach them, not beat it out of them.

      • BabySwans says:

        Totally NOT defending Kate but after reading comments & from my experience as an educator I’ve made the realization that what you think of spanking is largely based on culture & i don’t think it’s ok to label someone a horrible mother for spanking (as long as it’s not abusive). My family is Puerto Rican & I don’t think spanking is a big deal (wooden spoons on a 2 yr old is a big deal) at all. In fact I’m pretty sure anyone that lived on that tiny island within a 10 mile radius was allowed to spank us. However, my husband who was raised in the States doesn’t believe in spanking at all. Will I spank? I hope I won’t have to, but if needed I will. The one thing I won’t do (& what i learned not to do from my
        Childhood) is spank with a belt or spank out of anger or else you’re just doing it for revenge. Take a break & if you still think a spanking is appropriate then ok.

    • dahlianoir says:

      I was raised by a morroccan mom, I have been spanked with everything a house can have. I grew up fine I guess but still, I wouldn’t DARE think about using a wooden spoon on my two year old boy.

      I keep in mind that YOU choose to have a child, he/she doesn’t choose to be in this world. Besides, i think she has anger issues and take it all on her kids. When I am angry at him, I put my son in his room so we can both cool down.

      Don’t have kids if you need a punching ball.

  3. Mia says:

    I feel nervous writing this but I think one or two firm hits (not excessive in force) on the arm, bottom or leg (not the head or face) is an acceptable form of discipline for younger children. It is difficult to reason with a child that cannot understand your reasoning and I think physical discipline is sometimes the most effective method.

    That’s how my parents disciplined me as a child and I think it was effective and I didn’t experience any long term emotional problems etc. I think sometimes nowadays parents treat children like they are small adults and try to reason with them when the child should understand that you as the parent should be the respected person in charge, although you are adored/loved, you need to follow their rules. Just my 2cents…please don’t kill me with a comment spanker lol.

    BUT note: not acceptable to pull them by the hair, beating them etc.

    • Cindy says:

      I agree, actually. What they are describing here is excessive and cruel, but my mom swatted me with a wooden spoon a few times and slapped me hard across the face, and I turned out OK. I don’t hit people and I have never been in trouble with the law. Now, her two “favorites” who were never disciplined are hot messes, so make of that what you will.

      • claire says:

        I was spanked and hit with a switch when I was a kid. I was also paddled at my Catholic school. I turned out fine. I don’t hit people, I’m not violent, I’m not a criminal – it was just discipline back then. It wasn’t until recently, after seeing a couple of articles on the subject, where all the commenters considered any form of spanking as child abuse, that I realized it wasn’t acceptable anymore. I don’t have kids, so I really hadn’t thought about it, honestly. There is a degree of spanking that is illegal, but general swatting isn’t it. It has to be excessive, leave marks, cause injury, etc. General spanking or swatting seems to be getting painted with a broad brush as abusive, which seems like a bit of an overreaction to me, but maybe if I had kids I’d feel differently.

    • curegirl0421 says:

      I agree; I used physical discipline when absolutely necessary to get my point across. Are there better ways? Yes, but sometimes they don’t work, and if the result of not spanking is a terribly bratty, uncontrollable child, well… a swat on the ass never killed anyone. I’ve seen the results of the “time-outs only” kids and it ain’t pretty.

      Having said that, however, I would NEVER use an object other than my open hand. A fist, a belt, a spoon… those are weapons. An open hand giving a solid thwack is plenty to get one’s point across.

      • Wif says:

        My kids are “time outs only” kids, and this is my response to your argument. Discipline, whether it’s time outs or spankings, only works when it is consistent. It isn’t the method of discipline, it’s setting up boundaries, and following through when those are crossed.

        I’ve given my kids less than 5 time outs in their lives, they are 9 and 7 now. You can’t tell me that doesn’t work.

      • girlnbayou says:

        I fail to see how spanking with a paddle and spanking with a spoon differ. Ive been spanked with both and i turned out just fine.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      @ Mia-they hit you with a wooden spoon?

      ….because I don’t have a problem with spanking. I got spanked, slapped and tossed around a bit as a kid and to this day, I still insist that I deserved it.

      But hitting with objects just seems rather harsh to me…

      • Bobbie says:

        There’s a lot of Christian parenting books that recommend spanking with a spoon so that the child doesn’t associate the parent with the spanking- rather an object. The spankings are supposed to be mild though. I remember reading that when my kids were little and it was really confusing because I thought spanking with an object seemed really bad. We ended up rarely spanking because we just felt so awful about it, but I thought I’d mention this teaching because maybe that’s what she was “under the influence of.”

      • Me Too says:

        Maybe it’s a generational thing but my mom whacked me a couple times with the ol wooden spoon. Not saying I’d suggest it’s great parenting but I turned out okay (I think!) and frankly, I cannot imagine dealing with 8 kids all under 6 at the same time. I don’t like Kate. Never have. I think putting those kids on TV for most of their lives is a whole lot worse than an occasional spanking. That being said, spanking a 2 year old with a spoon is pushing it.

        Since we r talking parenting right now, I have to say, I’m not that impressed with my generations’ techniques. We’ve raised a whole bunch of whiny, self indulgent, almost narcissistic kids who take hundreds of photos a week of themselves, smiling those fake smiles littering Facebook. And, when they don’t get their way…

      • the original bellaluna says:

        OKitt – As a kid, I had neighbours who had wooden paddles or GIANT wooden spoons with “Mother’s Little Helper” painted on them. Those suckers hung on the kitchen wall, within easy reach of Mother.

        I’m pretty much a “If you throw your toy, I’m taking it away” and “Go have your fit in your room” kind of parent. An open-handed swat on the bum in extreme circumstances.

        But a paddle or a wooden spoon? NO.

        And I think slapping ANYONE in the face (even a child) is incredibly rude and insulting. And hitting a kid in the head is just wrong.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @Bobbie-interesting info about the theory behind using a wooden spoon/object instead of a hand. I still think it seems a bit extreme though!

        @Bels-that is CRAZY to me-a paddle???
        I got slapped in the face a couple times and it is VERY humiliating. I remember being SO angry and feeling so helpless because I wouldn’t/couldn’t hit my mom back. I sure wanted to though!

        I don’t know…I don’t have kids but it seems a REALLY tricky balance. I’d like to say that I would never hit my child but who knows?
        I also do agree with “Me Too” that some kids might NEED a little physical discipline. There are a lot of spoiled and entitled kids out there, but I honestly think that’s more due to lazy parenting/behavioral issues than lack of discipline or maybe it’s all of the above. Complex issue nevertheless…

      • the original bellaluna says:

        OKitt, yup. Painted, shellacked, and hung on the wall, like one of those “God Bless This Mess” or “No Matter Where I Serve My Guests, It Seems They Like My Kitchen Best” plaques you’d hang in your kitchen.

        Hell, even my ELEMENTARY SCHOOL had a paddle hanging on the wall in the office, and parents could give or deny permission to the principal to paddle their kid when he/she was in trouble. (Although, to be fair, it was an elementary school on a military base, in the late 70′s/early 80′s.)

        But STILL!

      • Bobbie says:

        I don’t remember too much of the whole theory of why a spoon is better than a hand, only that it was part of a carefully couched disciplinary plan which involved spanking: ie never do it when angry, only mild, talk to the child before and after, and use a spoon- stuff like that. I know this theory, kind of careful spanking, has wide acceptance in Christian parenting circles. But like I said, we never really did it basically because it made us feel awful to spank and we went with our guts. I think it was promoted by James Dobson? But memory is fuzzy- it’s been a few years.

    • Tanya says:

      exactly….. when my little nephew broke away from my sister when he was little..must have been two?…. anyways, running towards a busy street…you damn well bet she grabbed him away from being hit by a car and a swift smack on the rear…we need our kids to grow up understanding danger and sometimes, this is how the message gets through to a small child that can’t completely understand just talking at crucial moments. I think also, what we’re seeing today, with teenagers and younger teens out of control, is lack of respect for authority…one needs to parent until these children grow into responsible adults..then, and only then can that friendship evolve. All i see today is narcissistic young adults with a sense of entitlement and no work ethic..we are handicapping their adulthood by making their lives too easy. chores…and earning the things they want makes them appreciate and be responsible in the long run.

      • SLM says:

        Yes. This. If a child is not listening to you, and putting themself in danger, it is important to get their attention. Not to cause hurt or injury. Not from anger. My husband is able to do this by flicking my daughter’s fingers – but that doesn’t work for me. She laughs. She laughs during time outs, which is our predominant discipline. We use a lot of positive reinforcement and that works too, but not when they are testing their boundaries. If one swat – for the sake of awareness, not pain – will help emphasize that Mom isn’t kidding when she says stay away from the road, I think it’s worth it to keep her safe.
        I have no opinion about Kate G., though.

    • L says:

      My mother had a wooden spoon and referred to it as the ‘mem-me stick’ (mem-me being the korean word for spank)

      I can count on one hand the number of times it was used. And they were for serious/extreme misbehavior after I got a warning e.g. throwing eggs at my brother. My father was the occasional pop on the behind kind of parent. Mostly all they had to do was give us kids the parent look and we shaped up.

      It was never in temper or frustration-which is when I start to have a problem with spanking. Kid misbehaves, gets a warning and something serious occurs? A pop on the butt with a hand or a spoon is fine. Kid being annoying or frustrating? No.

      Kate sounds like the later category. If the smallest thing of not putting the silverware away, potty training, or being loud? If those kind of natural kid things send her into a spanking fury-then that is a problem.

      @metoo I always roll my eyes when people complain about how ‘this generation’ raises kids. Where do you think today’s parents learned it from? From the previous generation.

    • Barbara says:

      I had a fanny paddle for my 3…never had to use it on my oldest 2..but the youngest would do dangerous things, and did respond to a swat now and then to make a point. Each child is different. And no I am not ashamed of my actions. He grew up to be a kind loving, and responsible parent.

    • Elle Kaye says:

      My parents disciplined with spankings, slaps across the face, and whatever form of punishment they felt like giving at the time. My brothers grew up to be violent, and they also disciplined their own children that way. One child is showing violent tendencies. I chose not to have children because I was afraid I would parent the way they did. If you discipline with violence when you are frustrated, you run the risk that your child could someday react to others with violence.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Oh, Elle, that makes me so sad for you. I bet you are aware enough to be a different kind of parent than yours were.

      • irishserra says:

        @Elle Kay: I agree and understand. My parents were similarly physical with me and it didn’t do me any good. Nor my siblings. In fact, while I don’t use physical discipline with my children, I now have custody of two of my sister’s four children after they were removed from my sister’s care due to welts and bruises constantly on their backs and butts. She’s a very violent person, as is her husband and both of them say there’s nothing wrong with beating a child. Makes me sick, but I can easily see where my sister acquired her views on the matter.

    • Hazel says:

      I was hit as a child. Second eldest of 5. It was mostly open hand smack on either back of the hand, leg or bottom. If I was really really naughty I got a plastic or wooden spoon. Ouch. Even then when I got the spank I knew I deserved it. my parents stopped spanking for the three youngest and they were such little shits!! When I was growing up by the time I was 7 or so I no longer recieved spanks as my behaviour didnt require it. I knew boundaries and respect. Kid grew up thinking wow spanking sure worked for me im going to use it. however now I have a 1yo I cant imagine laying a hand on her when shes older. I cant fathom what brings someone to hurt a 2yo, especially for potty training? Thats disgusting. Kids are still learning to recognise the bodys ques for elimination, punishing them is psycho. Kate is a psycho

  4. Happy21 says:

    Oooohh! This is thread is going to open a big can o’ worms!

    I think 2 is too young to be spanked with a wooden spoon; however, I have no issue with spanking in general. The wooden spoon was used on me once I was over probably 5 because otherwise I just laughed at the threat of a spanking. The wooden spoon made it sting a little worse.

    Kate Gossselin is an a-hole though in every sense of the word and in everything she does.

  5. BreeinSEA says:

    I think her spanking was a stress release. You’d wanna smack everyone around you with that many adults in your house. Imagine that many children? Granted they are her kids but I get the impression she just zoned out at times and forgot who was who and why she did things. I think at a certain age or if your kids a shit, spanking can be inevitable. But I can only picture her going on a spoon rampage bitching about running out of hair products. I just plain don’t like this woman…

    • some bitch says:

      “But I can only picture her going on a spoon rampage bitching about running out of hair products”

      CAN’T STOP LAUGHING.

      Somebody should tell Kate that being such an insufferable bitch is aging her dramatically.

    • yuck says:

      Look, the fact of the matter is that she ALWAYS had help in the form of a state-paid, full-time nurse for the first year and countless volunteers during that year and later. Kids were being filmed by TLC from the age of 3 on. The fact that she exercised this sort of “discipline” had very little to do with the “stress” of having 8 kids, since compared to most mothers, she didn’t have to spend all that much time alone with them. Her stress is all self-induced. She’s a head case, one of those people whose reach always exceeds her grasp, and who thinks the world owes her a living. And a very rich one, thank you very much. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  6. Cindy says:

    I am not a fan of Kate Gosselin at all, but is there any proof this is her actual journal and if so, how did this guy get it?

    • Layale says:

      I was wondering the same thing. And also wondered, “Who writes this crap down?” Detailed info regarding spanking your kids?? Weird to me.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Because Kate was admittedly taking notes for her books, everything is calculated for making money with this woman. They film back there because there weren’t many child labor laws or shed have moved her kids out to Hollywood. She filmed up to 20 hours a day, put cameras in their rooms to film them at all times. Potty shaming on tv. The list could go on for days
        There is a site called GWOP that chronicled everything, it’s quieter now because they got the show cancelled but you can go back through the archives and your mouth will drop. These people wanted her off tv because she was taking advantage of those kids as little ATMs. Educate yourself on Kate.

        24 month olds are incapable of doing anything worthy of a spoon beating. They don’t have the brain capacity to even understand. It’s like beating a 6 week old puppy. I was about seven when I got it once on the leg with a spoon, big difference than beating on a baby.

        Than again, I’m the one to do the brain death studies on the babies beaten and killed by their parents, so I might not be so into the beating with a spoon during the toddler months.

      • Lis says:

        I know the source is suspect, but I don’t think it’s too unbelievable that she would write everything down. Especially if she’s keeping notes for a book, plus, as someone mentioned, it could be an OCD behavior. Fear of hurting/abusing a child or yourself is a type of intrusive thought.

    • littlestar says:

      I agree, it’s just too weird sounding and detailed. And it’s the National Enquirer – how often are they ever right?

  7. Relli says:

    OOH this thread is going to get hot.

    Kate sucks, but nice choice of magazine cover.

  8. TG says:

    This is so disgusting to read. Her children need to be in a safe environment and this woman is a danger to them. She obviously has serious control issues and OCD and therefore should not be raising mulitiple kids since her temper is flying all the time. Her punishments seem unreasonable. She is trying to control absolutely everything. You should never punish a child regarding potty training and trying to climb out of their crib is natural. She makes me sick. One day these kids are going to dispise her. A child needs to feel safe in their environment and not fear mommy at every turn. It seems like she has very weird rules that no one could obey, especially at that age. I hate this demon. I was raised by the authoritarian parenting or totalitarian parenting and I am in my mid-thirties and still dealing with the repurcussions. In my experience regarding spanking and hitting the parent is only doing it out of anger and a loss of control. It is not about loving your child. Something I learned a long time ago is a child should always be left with their dignity and beating a child is not dignified.

    I think the authoritative parenting is the best style because it encourages independence, thinking and rewards for good behavior and maturity. That is how I am trying to raise my daughter anyway.

    • Blondie says:

      Beautifully put TG. You put into words everything I was thinking. My only question is why aren’t the authorities looking into this. The children need to be places with someone who can love and guide them, and teach them right from wrong without physically abusing them.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Exactly. I am not perfect and certainly not,proud of my behavior everyday of my children’s lives, but I’ve never hit them in anger. I remember giving my oldest one mighty sawt on her diapered butt out of fear because I told her not to run towards our busy street and she did and a car was coming. I caught her and walloped her butt once and then held her, she had to understand that dispbeying mom meant danger!

        Kate beat her kids. Big differencehttp. Beating children like that for me is about loss of control. My kids are sufficiently controlled with a very stern look. Very stern.

        Paddling toddlers is beyond the pale. It is child abuse. I hear TLC has quite a bit of hair raising stuff in storage. How many hours were cut and edited? Some admittedly because they portrayed Kate in a bad light.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        OTiff, My mom was NEVER more terrifying than when she got quiet. (And she was never a screamer anyway.) I knew, KNEW I’d really, really upset her or crossed the line when she got quiet. Or cried, which was just the WORST to me. (My oldest two say the same about me.)

  9. roxy750 says:

    It’s Kate, she could spank her kids with a goldfish and its going to come out all evil. This woman is so vain, pathetic and should be ashamed of herself. I feel bad for her kids….evil psycho woman–stay home with your kids and take care of them instead of getting your nail, hair, face, legs, boobs, done. Gross.

  10. Jem says:

    Lets please not blur the lines between appropriate discipline and abuse. Truth is, you don’t need to spank a child terribly hard or often (or for that matter, at all) to get your point across if you do it right- it’s more about the psychology of it than the actual physical contact. I think this bitch is another sort of “mother” entirely. I think she gets off on the power of it; she loves being feared. She’s been showing abusive type behavior – both towards her former husband and the kids – since the beginning. It’s called being a narcissistic control freak. I can’t stand her, and I feel sorry for those kids.

    • RuddyZooKeeper says:

      But that’s the flip side, isn’t it? I was “appropriately” physically disciplined in various ways more times than I can count. I don’t remember the pain. But what I am left with are memories of complete humiliation and helplessness, being dominated physically and psychologically. It colors every single interaction and relationship to this day.

  11. Jaded says:

    I remember getting the “hairbrush” when I was little and it absolutely terrified me. I don’t think disciplining a kid with physical pain is appropriate at all, speaking from my own experience, and Kate comes across as a tyrant who seems to relish bullying and hurting her children.

    I don’t have kids (gee, I wonder why…*ironic pause*…), but my friends who have kids used other forms of discipline like putting them into time-outs or just physically removing them from situations (i.e. restaurants) when they’re acting up to calm them down.

    The last time my mother hit me was when I was about 15 and she was ragging on me about something I thought was insignificant, so I told her so. She hauled off and slapped me hard across the face, so I grabbed her wrist and said “don’t you ever hit me again!”. She got the message and never hit me again, but the memories of being hit still piss me off. (BTW, she’s now 90 and I brought her to live with me 5 years ago so I guess it’s best to forgive and try to forget.)

    • hatsumomo says:

      Im sorry, but I think your mother was right about the slap. Im from a time when children DO NOT raise their hand to their mothers. Period. And if you sass back, then yeah, you get a slap. Factoring in your age(a petualent 15 year old), you really didnt have any right to talk back to your mom under her roof. I didnt do it to my mom in her house, but when I became an emancipated minor at 16 and got my first apartment, you can be damn sure I didnt let anyone sass me there.

      • Jaded says:

        Well hatsumomo, you are wrong and weren’t there at the time so you actually have quite a nerve correcting me. There was nothing sassy about what I said, nor was I being a petulant 15 year old. I was a very quiet kid because my parents intimidated me. I spoke in a reasonable tone of voice. The problem I had, and because you weren’t there YOU DON’T KNOW, is that I was never allowed to voice an opinion as a child and teenager. If I voiced an opinion that differed from my parents’ opinion then it invariably led to them shouting at me and often being hit. That is NOT how you treat your children, PERIOD.

      • Elle Kaye says:

        @hatsumomo,
        Have you lived with an abusive person day in and day out? Jaded said she was afraid of her mother, and she was tired of the abuse…which sounds both verbal and physical. It was NOT ok for her mother to slap her in the face. It was not ok for her mother to hit her with a hairbrush. Being a parent does not give you carte blanche to do whatever you choose to your child as long as they are living with you! I’m certain it took a great deal of courage for Jaded to stand up to her mother, and I’m proud of her.

      • hatsumomo says:

        “Have you lived with an abusive person day in and day out?” LOL! Why do you think I sued my mother for custody of myself? On a whim? Im just saying, if you felt so strongly about your convictions, then have the good grace (even at 15) to get your ass out of there! And yes, I feel like I can talk, because Ive been there, done that.

      • Jaded says:

        Um no Hatsumomo….you do NOT have the “good grace” to get out at 15. I had nowhere to go. No job skills. Nothing. You put up and shut up until such time as you have an education and can fend for yourself. Once I graduated highschool I moved out, got a job, saved money, got a student loan and got myself educated.

        And as a happy ending to the story, my parents and I managed to work things out many years later and they both admitted that they hadn’t been the best parents.

        My parents were not nearly as abusive as many others. Sure I got smacked and slapped, but it was the only discipline they knew. They came from a different era where kids were to be seen, not heard.

        My point was that it’s just not right to hit kids and I know many people of my generation and younger who have way more success with their kids by discipling them in a much gentler fashion.

    • TG says:

      @Jaded – Wow, I am impressed that you had the courage to stand up to your mom. I never did. Like I said on other posts. Mostly we got spankings or slappings for minor infractions and that was bad but the psychological abuse she liked to do was torture. Lecturing us for hours on end about morals, etc. I was very afraid of my mom so I mean it worked in that it kept me straight but I would never have had the courage do defend myself. I was so afraid of my mother and she was so sick in her torture of us that I would just lie and admit I did something just to get a spanking and get it over with. She would never have believed the truth anyway so you either have to deal with a 2 hour lecture or lie and say you did it and get a spanking and go about your business. She was also an extreme religious person who as usual was a big hypocrite. The way I was raised has affected me negatively in both my personal and professional life. I was never allowed to have my own opinion either she was the supreme one so it has been hard to stand up for myself and take leadership roles in life and believe that I can be successful. I suffer from self esteem issues and all of it is a result of my mom. Of course I have worked thru many of the issues so I no longer have a hatred of my mom and can even appreciate the good in her, but this conversation is bringing it all back.

    • Lady D says:

      Impressed by your guts Jaded. I was a thoroughly cowed and terrified child. My mother used everything she could on me, sticks, belts, shoes, fists, feet, teeth, knives, cigars, cooking food, garden hoses, you name it, she could turn it into a weapon. Wish I could have done what you did. It would have saved me a couple years of torture anyway.

      • Jaded says:

        Eek Lady D and TG! My mother was not as punitive as yours – certainly I had to deal with the endless lectures, and if I disagreed with my parents’ opinions then the slaps, spankings and anger would start. That did leave me with low self-esteem that made me feel that whatever I had to say or do was somehow not worthwhile. I had a “quit before you screw it all up” mentality that lasted well into my 20s and 30s. When I hit my 40s everything started to come together and I started standing up to my parents in a big way, proving again and again on many issues that I was right and they were wrong. It took decades but they realized that by negating my opinions, desires, etc. they were diminishing my self-worth.

        By the time my father died in 2003 he had come around and openly admitted that he felt sorry for me as once he was gone I’d have to deal with my stupidly stubborn mother by myself.

        Now that she’s 90 and living with me (I’m single, no siblings, can’t afford expensive senior-care) sometimes the old control freak in her reappears and I have to get sharp with her. I feel bad getting shouty with an old lady but boy she still tries after all these years to control me.

        However, we have our good moments, our reminiscences, and I want her last years to be good years.

  12. Brown says:

    I am a southern girl but I’ve never been spanked (my parents spanked my sister, she was a hell raiser). I know plenty of my friends that grew up having to pick out their own switch to be hit with. My mom’s mom used to take a hot teaspoon and smack them on the butt when they did something wrong.

    There’s a fine line between disciplining a child and abusing a child. Can’t say that I’ll spank my kids, but can’t say that I won’t, either. I do know this: everyone I know that got spanked (paddle, switch, belt, whatever) turned out just fine. And most of them will tell you that they were NOT repeat offenders once they got spanked for something.

    2 years old seems kind of young to be hitting a kid with a wooden spoon, but to be fair, she was probably at her wit’s end with all those babies.

    As as far as her “severely injuring” one of her kids… well, I think most parents will tell you that those thoughts cross their mind… “I’m gonna kill this kid if he doesn’t shut up!!” I’m hoping it was a figure of speech and not literal.

    Ugh, I can’t believe I’m defending this bleached spray tan bitch.

  13. Hmmm says:

    I always think it’s wrong, but maybe it’s because I come from a country where no matter how you do it, then it is illegal to hit children. I’ve talked with my friends and there is no one who has received a slap or a spanking as a child.
    If you in Denmark admitted that you hit your child to disipline, you would be seen as a monster.

    • Circley says:

      Also from Denmark, and I completely agree with the monster statement.

      I understand why an openhanded smack on a clothed bottom might work as a disciplinary action (one of the few things I find tolerable if we are talking a handful of times through a child’s life – a response to very specific and dangerous situations, such as a toddler running toward traffic, for instance) but in my experience most forms of physical punishment only breed resentment and slowly stewing anger. An angry, flustered parent hitting or smacking you is likely to be perceived as an enemy rather than a loved one – outcomes may include kids who are plain scared of their parents, become sneaky and more sophisticated in response to brute force, or in retaliation try to engage and rouse the parent’s anger, thereby continuing the circle of spanking; both parties lose, but the child may feel a greater level of control, and a feeling of satisfaction gained by “manipulating” the parent. Just some scenarios.

      Most people wouldn’t strike their adult siblings or their spouses – if they do, it’s considered abuse. It boggles my mind that children are somehow seen as exempt from the rules of “normal” social interaction. To my mind, striking children undermines discipline rather than establishing it – it’s pretty apparent who is the “weak” one, when said person spins out of control, armed with wooden spoons and batshit craziness.

  14. emmieapricot says:

    IMO spanking is humiliating and demeaning and there are more appropriate ways to discipline.
    As for this story, I can totally believe it. I never saw Kate’s show but I have seen video clips of her yelling at her kids, at John and at her friends. Just the way she treats people in general shows that she is an unstable, narcissistic bully.

  15. muprhy says:

    She hits like that because she is TOO LAZY to deal with them properly–i.e. talking to them calmly and instructing them to avoid the problem in the future. And lets face it–its takes several tries to get this through a toddler’s head. Talking to her kids over and over is too much work for her.

  16. judyjudy says:

    Hit an adult with a spoon and you can be charged with assault.

    This woman is disgusting and sadly this article is no suprise .

  17. Hope says:

    My mom would fly off the handle like this with my sister and I when we were little. Hair-pulling, HARD spankings, whipping us across the room, this all sounds way too familiar. It wasn’t until I moved out of the house and had a life away from my mom that our relationship improved tremendously. Now we have a great relationship, but it took a lot of time for me to process and forgive everything that happened. She was a younger mother in her early twenties and I think her age was a factor. When she had my brothers with my stepdad she definitely changed her tune. Sure, she spanked them, but it wasn’t all-out war.

    I absolutely agree that it’s about the parent letting off steam and not about the child. Young kids don’t understand violence. They get hurt, then confused, and while they do make the connection between the bad behavior and the pain of the punishment, they feel unloved afterwards and unable to trust their parents. I think chores and taking away treats/tvs/books/games, etc is far more effective.

  18. Sabrine says:

    There’s nothing wrong with the wooden spoon although it is preferable to just show it to them rather than actually using it. She had eight children to deal with. If reasoning with them or time out doesn’t work, maybe a few taps will. The problem with spanking though is to not take out your own frustrations on the child. That could be dangerous.

  19. Jayna says:

    LOL My sister and I never were spanked, except me once. I don’t remember it, truthfully, so it couldn’t have been too painful of a spanking. I was probably seven or eight and my sister two years younger. What I do remember is when my dad was doing it, my brother was standing there laughing. My sister was crying, trying to save me. It never even affected me, but my sister was traumatized by it. She always remembered me getting that spanking.

  20. Francesca says:

    I’d like to hit her with a wooden spoon and see how she likes it. ‘What a bitch’ doesn’t cut it. Where is CPS?

  21. Pookie says:

    If an adult hits another adult with a wooden spoon, or belt or brush or hand they could be charged with criminal battery. Why should it be acceptable then for a parent to hit their child and call it discipline…a child who for the most part is a smaller defenseless person. Parents who resort to hitting their child have lost control and for the most part do it when angry. Where do you draw the line? And if you resort to hitting when angry what happens if you`re having a really bad day? I’m sure many battered chidrens’ parents started out by “harmlessly” hitting their kids under the guise of discipline.
    Hitting is hitting…whether you’re an adult or a child and it’s wrong!

  22. Cece says:

    Spanking teaches a kid one thing – I’m bigger than you, and I can hurt you. It’s humiliating, and I don’t think there is any gain in humiliating kids.

    Kids can be tremendously frustrating and trying, but there are ways to get kids to stop immediately, or to get your point across, that does involve hitting. After all, aren’t we teaching kids to never strike out (hit, kick, bite) in their own frustration or anger at another kid, however justified?

  23. Celt Lady says:

    If this story is true, CPS needs to investigate this witch. STAT.

  24. OXA says:

    Hitting a 2 year old with a weapon(yes a wooden spoon is a weapon) is never acceptable. A 2 year old can not understand why it is being abusedby the person who is supposed to love and protect them.

  25. Webster says:

    I find it very hard to believe someone, even Gosselin, would keep a journal writing down beatings of her children and then let someone else read them. This whole story sounds hokey. It’s another way for a writer to make money, no matter who it may hurt, like the children.

  26. S.Joy says:

    My parents spanked me at times while growing up. But they NEVER pushed, slapped or punched me. I was never smacked in the face or beat, never any bruises or marks on my skin. I don’t consider what my parents did as abuse. I
    can’t speak for Kate because I’m not sure
    what really goes on in her family. But when a parent disciplines a child
    physically it should be a last resort and
    the child should fully understand the reason for the punishment.

  27. Ruyana says:

    Just because you have a large number of children you do not automatically qualify as a “good mother”. Over the years I’ve read horrific tales of how Khate treats her kids. I’ve often felt she doesn’t even *like* them, but they’re necessary props. Have you noticed that she only smiles for the cameras?

    • TheOriginalTiffany says:

      If you have ever watched the show you’d totally know it. She is evil and you can see, feel and hear it.
      It’s all there for all to see on YouTube, on GWOP and it is foul.

      I said in the last post, my daughter was loving the show because she was about 8 and thought the babies were so cute. The more I watched it, the more weirded out I became. I did a bunch of research and banned the show from our home. I witnessed her go off on her props for everything, watched her drag a boy with an impacted bowel around, watched her leave Colin in a rage on the laundry floor all day because he vomited on her floor and he had no water or anything. Jon came home and blew up at her and took care of his kid. He was the one who played with them, cooked, got them dressed, in the car, packed them up all while Kate sat in a plastic yard chair in her garage and watched.
      Vile.

  28. alc says:

    Ok, I think we can all agree that Gosselin was way out on the figurative ledge when those kids were all little. I can only imagine what it must have been like in that house. However, she did have lots of help who,it seemed, she used and abused until they were driven away.I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear she spanked her husband too, probably for something like not rinsing a dish to her exact specifications.Well it is all water under the bridge now, the damage (and I think there has been plenty)has been done. Now we can just wait for the reality show “Kate and the 8 off to the Shrink!”I wish she would have stayed gone. Life has been so nice without her orange face smiling ingenuously. And she certainly looks rough, especially aroung the likes of Liv Tyler! My mother used to call it brassy. And speaking of mother, I didn’t get spanked very often as a kid but I remember each and every one of them (may be 5 total)and exactly what I had done and yes, I deserved them and I didn’t repeat those behaviours again! And I do think there is a difference between a swat to the padded behind to teach a lesson as opposed to reacting in anger that you can’t control and take it all out on the kids. Walk away and count to 8 Kate and I think you’ll find that cooler heads will prevail. On second thought, just keep walking Kate!

  29. the original bellaluna says:

    Some people just shouldn’t be parents. This woman is definitely one of them.

    If messes cause you stress; if you’re going to flip out over a kid (or kids) sneaking M&Ms or other treats; if you don’t like the idea of wiping someone else’s ass and nose for a good few years; if you value sleep and sanity above all else, DON’T HAVE KIDS.

  30. Kim says:

    Any parent who thinks hitting a baby is OK is disgusting in my opinion .A two year old is essentially a baby, still in diapers.I wasnt spanked .I have never spanked my girls.

  31. djork says:

    Such a lovely, welcoming, natural smile.

  32. Ginger says:

    My brother and I were beaten by my father who called it “discipline” as early as 6 mos old so I never touched my son. He was given firm discipline like restriction and time outs, etc and he is a respectful child…no need for violence and cruelty A ALL!!!

  33. snappyfish says:

    i think a swat on the bottom (only on the bottom, and only one swat) is ok on certain very serious occasions: running into the street, touching a hot stove, playing with matches, etc.

    but you should never, ever use an object to hit a child.

  34. Lis says:

    Big surprise. She was verbally abusive, and it’s safe to assume when someone is like that as easily as she was, that there’s a physical component. It’s telling when almost everyone who hears about this doesn’t refute it. You’re not likely to see people stepping up to the plate for her.

    My dad spanked me a few times as a kid. My mom got mad at him for it so he never did it again, but he was verbally and emotionally abusive in subtle ways. It’s difficult to forget.

  35. Sam says:

    Ugh, some of these comments are absurd. “When I have kids, I won’t do x…”

    WHEN you have kids? Try having them first before judging others.

    For the record, this woman is a monster for hitting her BABIES, and hitting them with objects (not to mention exploiting them on tv, verbally abusing them, etc.).

    But, spanking IS different than abuse. Spanking is a smack on the bottom or the leg. For an older child, it can be a slap across the face, ESPECIALLY if they curse or insult a parent. I was a hell-raiser and I can safely tell you that pretty much nothing worked on me except for spanking. Grounding, taking away tv, extra chores… I didn’t care. But a sharp smack on the ass sure stopped me fast. I also got the wooden spoon on the butt from my mom and grandma, and we sure feared that spoon. It didn’t come out often but you can bet we didn’t dare disobey them.

    Children CANNOT be reasoned with like adults. You can try to teach lessons and responsibility, but at a certain point you wind up with the moronic children of this generation who were never spanked. They get away with MURDER. I’ve seen parents come up with excuse after excuse for behaviors, watched children at birthday parties run wild with their parents saying “Now, now, don’t do that again” and “Kids will be kids”. No, kids will be assholes unless you shape them into responsible human beings. Kids (/humans) are inherently selfish and have to be taught to think of others. Avoiding reprimanding them in a way that actually shows consequences tells them they have no real reason to follow your instruction.

    I was spanked. My sisters were spanked. We are three grown adults, never arrested, no serious trouble, no psychological issues, great relationships with our parents, two of us are married, the youngest is in a serious relationship. Spanking doesn’t ruin your life, abuse does. Learn the difference.

  36. ViloDeMenus says:

    I think those kids will end up with all sorts of problems later on, between the show and her for a mother they didn’t have much of a chance to grow up in a normal loving family, no grandparents, no aunts and uncles, a cold physically punishing mother and a dolt who isn’t much to look up to as a father. Recipe for a few disasters we have to look forward to.

  37. piedlourde says:

    Is it legal for one to hit one’s spouse? No? Domestic abuse, you say? But it’s okay to lay one’s hands on a tiny person in your care?

    That’s one of the MANY problems I have with corporal punishment. Luckily, in Sweden “aga” has been illegal since 1979. Physical abuse of defenseless kids is kind of frowned upon here nowadays.

  38. Lem says:

    I watched the show. My kids loved watching her kids.
    Jon was clearly CLEARLY the better parent. Loving, kind, adventurous, obviously interested and engaged. K ate was the one who wanted the babies but Jon was the one who loved them unconditionally and actually parented them. Kate only wanted to control them and Jon.
    She was either mean or ignoring them. She was an awful parent. I don’t imagine with the big nice house,the end of the marriage and the end of the show that she got nicer.
    The kids should have stayed with Jon. Poor babies.
    * that Maddie was a brat thought, pure mini-Kate*

  39. Amanda says:

    As someone who grew up with my mom spanking me with a wooden spoon when I was bad, I see no problem with it. My mom only used it when I was at my worst and other times I was just sent to my room. I wasn’t the most well behaved child but now as an adult I get why my mom did it. Nowadays kids don’t seem to get as punished for their wrong actions as they used too and because of it kids are becoming more disrespectful with the times.

    • The Original Tiffany says:

      @Amanda who doesn’t see anything wrong with this. I implore you to re-read this article. We are not talking spankings, we are talking about being BEATEN with wooden spoons at 24 months and younger, we are talking about BABIES being pulled across a room by their hair and whipped into their cribs.
      We are talking about children being punished for potty training and whipped into their cribs. About BABIES being whipped back into their cribs for trying to climb out.
      In short we are talking about a child abuser named Kate Gosselin.

      If you think this is normal, I implore you not to have children.

      This is CHILD ABUSE, plain and simple. Once again a baby of this age is incapable of malice and incapable of understanding why their monster, I mean mother is beating the shit out of them. She would be arrested for doing any of this to another adult. It is assault.
      I knew, always that these kids would write tell alls someday. They will, they’ll need the money since their monster took it all for herself.

  40. jwoolman says:

    This is hardly news. It was also obvious from what was caught on camera outside the show that she was violent. Her first response to problems was to hit the kid hard, and the kids showed by their reaction that they had experienced it many times before. Two of the sextuplets were expelled from their private kindergarten for repeated verbal and physical violence against staff and other children. They didn’t pick that up from their dad. In unstaged pictures and videos, the kids’ body language was also a clue- they avoided their mom and the tension showed when she was nearby. In pics with their dad, they looked like relaxed and happy kids- thank goodness he got over his wild time off Kate’s leash (they actually had been living together but not really living together for years), because their time with him was needed to recover from mom. A just world would have taken some of the loot to get him set up in a large enough house to easily have the kids more and more of the time, letting Kate wander off to pursue her career in whatever while he eased into essentially full custody. Instead, Kate controlled it all. She also deliberately hired young, inexperienced people typically as “nannies” so she wouldn’t be challenged on her abusive practices.

    I always thought Jon should at least be allowed to rescue the twins. Kate stopped even pretending that she liked one of them long ago, and even Sarah Palin was aghast when they tried to have a camping episode together. The scapegoat kid was routinely bashed by Kate and her online friends, but I always thought she was just a kid smart enough and intuitive enough to see the unfairness and willing to speak up about it. If you really listened to her, you could see she wasn’t just being a drama queen. She was complaining about things that mattered, and was especially disturbed when Kate was mistreating her dad.

    Google “narcissistic mothers” and you’ll get a good idea from adult survivers what hell those kids have been living. Kate has other serious issues as well, but she seems way over on the pathological side of the narcissistic personality disorder spectrum. Jon was just a normal guy, more of a follower than a leader, who hadn’t a clue how to handle her. But the universal advice with pathologically narcissistic spouses is to run as fast as you can away from them. They’re untreatable because they son’t believe anything is wrong with them. Hard to run with eight little co-runaways, though.

    Waiting for the tell-all book from the kids in a few years…

  41. kmk says:

    I saw in an interview that Jon said that he was happy with just having the 2 girls, but Kate wanted more kids. She turnes out to be a Monster of a so called Mom. I hope that she gets whats coming to her… She also looks like a cheap(creep) hooker!!!

  42. SashaSkye says:

    Does everyone realize here that with enough editing and a little unfounded speculation, ANYONE can LOOK like an abusive parent. Now I was terribly abused as a child, but even I can differentiate between discipline and abuse. When I went to live with my grandparents I was spanked with a wooden spoon and guess what – it’s cause I was a little terror and needed some discipline. I loved that woman more than life itself and still do, but if anyone had had their cell phone camera around to catch that moment well it probably look really bad. All this man has done is make wild claims. Did he take these so-called diaries to the police to report a serious crime, or just leak statements online for attention? That should be the real clue here people. Just like John Travola and the gay rumours, everyone is jumping on the chance to be a part of this bandwagon, without a shred of proof that these documents exist. I’m not saying for sure they don’t, but much like the whole “facebook is posting my private messages thing”, people are claiming all this stuff with out anything to back it up. Some people think it’s the crime of the century to spank, others think it’s unfathomable to provide sugar, others still are horrified that their kid listens to pop music. How about everyone just worry about what’s going on in their own house and stop trying to tell everyone else how to run theirs. There is more than one style of parenting you know.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Did you read the comments (specifically, OTiffany’s) at all?

      This isn’t ONE isolated incident with this woman-it is repeated abuse.

      Sorry to poke holes in your theory, but Kate Gosselin has been displaying this type of behavior for a LONG time. Can you really dispute hours and hours of video footage showcasing this woman treating her kids like garbage?

  43. Violet says:

    My mother threatened me with the wooden spoon when I was kid. She rarely followed through and didn’t use much force when she did. There was more indignity than pain in getting spanked.

    I think sometimes spanking — NEVER hard hitting — is appropriate, especially when children do something potentially dangerous, like go too close to the fireplace or run across the street without checking for traffic.

  44. Nikole says:

    @Jaded I got the hairbrush too… a big one, very heavy plastic… my dad would always hit me above the hairline, so no one would know.

    Unfortunately as a result of my abuse, I do have anger issues. Unfortunately, I could see myself losing it and hitting my child. And if I ever did that, I would never be able to forgive myself. So I got my tubes tied (Essure, actually). I couldn’t trust myself to end the cycle of abuse any other way.

    My mom hit me just last year, BTW. I am 32. It wasn’t just my dad. It was him, my mom, and my brother. Ugh.

    We all get along now, but they are pretty much directly responsible for the fact that I won’t have children.

  45. Angela says:

    I remember being spank a lot when I was little, it was to the point I was afraid of my mom, belts, combs, wooden spoons, and when I came home late after being with my dad she was waiting with a broom handle behind the door, I remember that the most bc I was 13, she aimed for the legs and I have cerebral palsy.
    I have a 5 year old and I spanked him once with a wooden spoon and I still regret it. I don’t believe in spanking but his father does, and so does his family. I tend to stick to time out or to his room. I understand it may be hard to raise that many but there are other ways to discipline

  46. lucy2 says:

    With 8 kids I could see losing it and doing a swat on the behind, but a spoon? And all the other stuff mentioned? Ugh. Hope it’s not true, but the sad thing is I could totally believe it about her.

  47. TG says:

    @the original bellaluna – As usual I agree with your statement about slapping on the face. It is just wrong and humilitating to the person. My sister spanked her kids when they were younger and I remember specifically one of the kids hit the other one and she she spanked that child and said “we don’t hit”. Well, you just hit your child so what are you really saying? This was 7 or 8 years ago and I still remember it clearly. I think things are good with them now but whenever I saw her spanking them it was always out of anger. I don’t believe in spanking but I will concede that an occasional swat on the bum might be effective but hitting with objects, smacking on the face, pulling hair, etc. is abuse. The argument is that kids are being raised self-entitled brats, but that is not due to lack of spanking that is due to lack of discipline and other parenting issues. And even if someone thinks spanking is okay there is no way anyone can think what Kate is doing is okay. That is pure abuse and it has been documented over and over and as was mentioned earlier she even abused her husband. Many people don’t accept or believe a man can be abused but he can and my dad was too. He passed away 6 years ago and I realize all my life I felt pity for him and anger towards my mom.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      TG – :) I’m sorry, but your sister’s hypocrisy (one I’ve pointed out to many, MANY people) about spanking/smacking a child while lecturing about how “It’s Not NICE to Hit People!” made me smile, simply because it reminds me of those I’ve said that to.

      Most people don’t know how to respond to that, because it catches them off-guard (what? and how dare you call me on it!).

      The BEST thing a parent can do for a child is to be realistic and to follow through (aka DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU’RE GOING TO DO)!

      If you say “If you throw that toy, I’m going to take it away” and kiddo throws the toy, get OFF YOUR ASS and take it away! And make punishments/discipline realistic. Don’t say something like “I’m going to beat your ass” or “If you do that again, you won’t come out of your room for a week” because, chances are, that’s not going to happen. (Not realistic.)

      Small children are smarter than most people think. They are painfully honest, pure little spirits who have no concept of doing something “just to piss Mommy/Daddy off” (testing boundaries is NOT the same), and they need to be loved and treated as such.

      (Mom only ever slapped me in the face once, when I took the Lord’s name in vain. Other than that, she spanked me ONCE, because I was 4 and risked my life.)

      ETA: I’m sorry you were hit as a child, but it sounds like you’re doing well. It is true that it is hardest to break the cycle of abuse if no one provides parents the tools to do so. And it is ABSOLUTELY essential that ALL parents (especially those who were abused themselves) be re-educated and given the skills they need, not only to become productive members of society, but to raise them as well. It actually breaks my heart to read these comments from those who have chosen not to have kids because of their fears about repeating the cycle of abuse.

      • TG says:

        The other thing about abusing a child, especially things about potty training is it is hard for a child to develop confidence if they aren’t being encouraged positively at home. I remember it took me a long time as a child to not wet the bed at night and I had to wear these things we called “plastic pants” that went over my underwear. I must have been anywhere from 5-7 years old and still wearing them and I remember my mom getting mad at me for wetting the bed. It wasn’t my fault. I remember to this day when I finally learned how to control my bladder at night. One time I was sick and threw up on the floor and she got mad about that too. Also, my parents used to jerk the crayons/pencils out of my hands as a young child and it wasn’t until I was in my 20′s that I figured out why. Apparently, I started out right-handed but switched to my left hand and they were trying to correct that, but they went about it in the wrong way. All my life I have felt there was something wrong with me because I was left-handed and I have no doubt why I was made to feel that way. But those negative reactions from my mom effected me to the point I didn’t have confidence to try things and didn’t believe in myself due to her negative actions and controlling behavior where our opinions were not respected and unreasonable punishments. I am a very sensitive person so that kind of stuff hurt. I know every child is different and what works on one doesn’t necessarily work on another.

  48. Luffy says:

    I was spanked when I was very young, but as I got older I got other punishments so yes I would say spanking only works in the short term. It’s a good way to correct bad habits, not behavioral problems.

  49. nancypants says:

    Someone hand me a spoon/paddle/belt/spatula.

    I think it’s time for KATE to get her’s and NOT in a sexual way at all.

    I have had it with this b*tch.
    I have been reading about her for years and the way she treats her kids and all her b.s. and I’m done.

    I think she is pure evil and needs to see how it feels.

  50. flopzy says:

    My Mom is from china, so she has no qualms about hitting me and my sister, but she rarely does so.

    Mostly she would threaten to hit us while hitting the floor next to our feet as if she is saying do it again, that would be your feet not the floor. Lol, i have never tested it, but me and my sister agree that she would totally hit us if we repeat our mistake, lol.

    personally i believe in a soft slap on the hand. its not for the pain, its for the child knowing that she did something wrong and now have to suffer the indignity of being slap on the palm. Its more mental than physical.

  51. irishserra says:

    Additionally, since it’s pretty common sense that one should never punish their child while in a state of anger, how can a parent still resort to that after taking a moment to cool down and think over the situation? I feel most parents who beat their kids probably do it out of anger in the moment and that’s not doing anything for the child, it’s a very selfish act then, as it serves merely to make the parent “feel better.”

  52. kiyoshigirl says:

    Ugh. This is such a touchy subject. I just cannot judge any other parent for whatever means they choose to discipline their child, as long as it’s not abusive. The question, for each of us, is what is considered abusive. I know that my 3 kids went through a period where they would not stay in their beds no matter what I said or did. They would leave their rooms, fool around with each other and totally blow their bedtime schedules to the point that they would have trouble waking up for school the next morning. My mother reminded me that sometimes the threat is all that’s necessary. She told me to hang a wooden spoon in the hallway outside of their rooms and tell them I would have to use it if they kept getting out of bed. Well, it worked, but to this day I feel guilty for even hanging that spoon in the hallway. Did I ever have to use it, no. Did it solve the problem, yes.

  53. Bex says:

    I was spanked, as were my brother and sister. I don’t regret it, and I have occasionally spanked my own children.

    I didn’t get spanked often, it wasn’t the default punishment. I got grounded, put in the corner, privileges taken away, etc, far more often. Spanking was used when I was younger (it’s harder to reason with very young children) and only for MAJOR offenses.

    My dad did one thing that I feel made spanking DISCIPLINE and not ABUSE:

    He never, ever, ever spanked us when he was ANGRY. He would send us to our room, take a few minutes to calm down, then he’d come back, calmly explain to us why we were getting the spanking so it wouldn’t seem arbitrary.

    Only THEN would he spank us.

    He often would ask us if we felt that the spanking was fair. I only remember once EVER saying “No”. That time, he apologized and said he would try to be more careful.

    Spanking in our house was never an act of anger or aggression. It was discipline.

  54. skuddles says:

    She’s a psychotic witch who does not deserve to have children. Even if she wasn’t whacking her toddlers on a daily basis, just her personality and attitude alone is enough to do them untold amounts of harm.

  55. christineosity says:

    Seriously? I got spanked with a spoon and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I was never beaten or “hit” but more kids today really need more than positive reinforcement and time outs. That being said, if what this says is true, it’s very messed up. Spanking is one thing, hair pulling and beating is just wrong.

  56. Kate says:

    Ok but what about the HAIR PULLING????? Is that ok with some of you too???

    I would freakin hope not – THAT IS ABUSE PURE & SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

    • the original bellaluna says:

      No! I had a 3rd grade teacher (same school that had the paddle hanging in the office) who pulled hair and flipped over desks. VERY TRAUMATIC, especially to a kid who didn’t get spanked and wasn’t used to displays of temper.

      She was just…WRONG.

  57. Anon says:

    Kate is a narcissist, she fits the pattern with the “golden child Hannah” and the kids she targeted. The book, “Venus: The Dark Side” describes Kate’s personality very well. G-d help those children when the money is all gone and attention finally goes away forever, cause even bad attention is better than none. Right, Kate? The good, the bad and the ugly?

  58. A~ says:

    I will never, ever understand why people think it’s okay to hit (swat, tap, strike, call it whatever you want) a child, when you would never do the same thing to an adult, who at least is your size and can defend himself.

  59. Cleveland Girl says:

    Does anyone think that Kate looks like Heather from Real Housewives NY with those new teeth of hers??

  60. Hakura says:

    **Apology for the monstrously huge comment!

    Mother’s side is deep South (Alabama), father’s side from West Virginia, so I have had experience with spanking with a hand, spoon & belt, for as long as I can remember. No one in my family ever caused real injury, but it was still a very unpleasant experience all around.

    I remember begging them not to, apologizing for whatever it was I had done, but they’d still do it… I believe THAT was wrong of them, so don’t agree with spanking in general.
    As a teenger, my mother used non-physical punishments, but there was one time ( I was almost 18) when she outright lost her mind & attacked me. Just plain hitting me with fists wherever she could (while I had my arms up trying to protect myself) in my face, shoulders, head, torso. I screamed at her asking what the HELL, telling her she was beating me. We were all really stressed during that time because of a house fire & problems with our insurance company, but that wasn’t an excuse.

    She partially apologized after a few hours had gone by… Didn’t think she was wrong for hitting me, but admitted losing control. I told her outright that she WAS wrong for hitting me, period. It was all about her anger, not about ‘disciplining’ me (who was an adult anyway for God’s sake), We’ve never agreed on that, & it was something I had to let go of so we could have the good relationship we have now.

    My mom believes if you don’t spank children, they turn into spoiled willful little monsters, & whenever we see a child pitch a fit in public, she says “See? That’s what not spanking gets you.” I think a lot of spankings through-out my life were just for the parent’s benefit of getting out their anger, not disciplining, which is totally wrong.

    I don’t plan to have children, but if I do, I truly don’t believe I will ever spank them. Too many bad experiences on my end to justify doing that to my child.

  61. Claire says:

    I can imagine trying to discipline all those kids would push any mother over the edge but spanking is not the answer and certainly not with a wooden spoon and hair pulling. We’ve been seeing more of Kate “out and about town”. She’s probably tired and jet lagged from her pr-ing around. Who’s the adult in that family? And because it says it’s ok in the Bible- start taking responsibility for your own life and don’t believe everything you read!

  62. Dawn says:

    Spanking, freaking out over little things like ice cream drips, leaving a child on the floor in the laundry room because he had the flu, screaming, making fun of and the list goes on and on. Bad parenting should have Kate Gosselin’s picture next to it. And everyone picked on Jon when all the time it was Kate including the ending of their marriage.

  63. COSBY says:

    SHE MUST HAVE SPENT ALL THEIR MONEY ON HER FANGS…HAHA….A REAL CELEB DOESN’T EVEN SMILE THAT WIDE…AND WHY SMILE BIG WHEN YOU ARE THE OCTOMOM AND DISLIKED..HMMMM

  64. MaeFlower says:

    I have slapped my older (just about 4 years old) daughter on the back of the hand when she simply refuses to listen to ANYTHING I say and is being physically much too aggressive to her younger sister (who is 16 months). But “slapping the hand” is something I rarely resort too since a time-out is usually just as (if not more) effective. I would NEVER punish a two year old that way though. I personally don’t believe any sort of punishment is really effective until after the child is 3 or so years old and can truly understand cause and effect.

    However, like some previous posters have said, how much of Kate’s reactions are due to having EIGHT children under the age of 6? I know having just TWO kiddos can make me go mad at times. Though having an excessive amount of young children doesn’t excuse inappropriate punishments.

  65. Joanne says:

    She was abusive even on TV with them. VERBAL abuse, and I have no doubt she hits those kids. Yes, spanking is not a crime, but I do think she is one to take it to the extreme. Dont defend this woman because she is a witch and anyone with eyes saw it for themselves. She is about herself and money. She scares those kids into obeying. These allegations are not news to me. You could see those kids are afraid of her.

  66. ken says:

    Kate needs a good spanking over someone’s knee with her pants down.