Eva Longoria & Wilmer Valderrama are together: cute or gross couple?

Eva Longoria Wilmer Valderrama

These are some photos of Wilmer Valderrama and Eva Longoria on 8/2 while departing the funeral of actress Lupe Ontiveros together. It really seemed like Wilmer, for once, was acting like a gentleman and merely escorting Eva to her car, and she seems to appreciate the moral support. However, there is reason to believe that Wilmer — who may very well have been quite upset at Lupe’s departure from this world — may also have been harboring his usual ulterior motive of trying to get into the pants of the female of nearest proximity.

According to Wilmer’s pattern of behavior, he can usually tell when a woman is vulnerable for whatever reason, and this perverted sixth sense of sorts has allowed him to prey on newly single females with astounding success. His past conquests include not only Demi Lovato (and I still don’t think she’s completely done with him), Minka Kelly, Mandy Moore, and Lindsay Lohan but also (allegedly) Pink and Avril Lavigne. Most of these women hook up with Wilmer following a traumatic event, which is not limited to the ending of a long-term romantic relationship of the most devastating sort. Well, Eva just broke up with Mark Sanchez, and now she’s supposedly getting with Wilmer according to this week’s issue of Star:

Eva Longoria Wilmer Valderrama

Eva Longoria Wilmer Valderrama

Just days after her split from N.Y. Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, Eva Longoria had already drafted another sweetheart: Wilmer Valderrama! Eva, 37, was spotted canoodling with 32-year-old Wilmer at a play in downtown L.A.

“Wilmer and Eva went in and sat down next to each other — and as soon as the lights went out, she tucked her arm under his and they held hands the entire play,” an eyewitness reports. “She kept whispering in his ear and laying her head on his shoulder. They were really the cutest couple.”

The pair, who are volunterring together to help Latino Americans to vote this fall, left the performance together after giving Eva’s former castmate Felicity Huffman a standing ovation. Looks like Mark is on the bench for good!

[From Star, print edition, November 12, 2012]

Why, oh why do women fall for guys like Wilmer and John Mayer? They’re such dogs, and everyone seems to know it, yet they continue to get laid with various and random good-looking women who seem to have lots of other things going for them, so why fall for such a douche? I’ll never understand it.

Wilmer Valderrama

Eva Longoria

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

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96 Responses to “Eva Longoria & Wilmer Valderrama are together: cute or gross couple?”

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  1. CN says:

    I am *kind of* ashamed to admit this but I do find him physically attractive…didn’t he discuss all of his prior conquests’ performance in bed on a radio interview or something a long time ago? That’s not right :S

  2. Christine says:

    He must be very good at flattery and charm because he has a really skeevy vibe otherwise.

  3. Launicaangelina says:

    Ummmmm… Say something positive… Ummmmmm… Yes! Got it! At least she’s of age!

    Seriously, I’m surprised he’s going for someone older. She seems strong willed and independent so maybe this will work. Maybe he was craving someone to keep him in check?

    • Moneypenny424 says:

      Well, she’s more famous than he is, so she’s an exception.

      Do you really feel like she is independent? She comes off to me as someone who can’t be alone and consistently chases young athletes who cheat on her. I actually like that Wilmer is age-appropriate for her :) .

  4. Saphana says:

    i also never had the badboy/douche attraction. but as long as those men are so succesful with women they wont disappear.

  5. the original bellaluna says:

    GROSS!! I just read that she’d “confirmed” her relationship with the football dude (right after her break-up with Pene’s brother – or whoever), so she’s one of THOSE women.

    And I repeat: GROSS!!

    • Victoria says:

      Yup. She finds the next jump off before dumping? Or can’t be single? I find her annoying. Always have and prob always will. I need a new scapegoat for when the jets lose now.

      • Chatcat says:

        I never watched DH so I don’t know anything about her other then what is in celeb gossip and tabloids. But from all that I have observed there is nothing “vunerable” about this woman. She is an attention whore like the Lilo’s, KarASSians, SkeveAnn Rimes, etc…although she might be the soberest of them all.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Never watched DH either, Chat. I just find Longonria to be really really unlikable. Insufferable even.

        I wish she’d stop endorsing Obama probably as much as you wish Kelsey Grammar would stop endorsing Romney, Chat ;)
        Those two fools aren’t doing us any favors.

        Also, her apparent obsession with dating athletes makes me question her IQ level.

      • Chatcat says:

        Hey Kitten…there are plenty of Hollyweird “fools” on both sides of the isle, but your right, Grammar and Longoria are in the top tier. It’s not like I’d ever let a celeb influence me in the slightest about politics or economics or any real world issues anyway, but these are two of the most obnoxious of the stompers out there. UGH!

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Hell, I wouldn’t let a celeb endorsement sway to buy certain makeup or a kind of soda, much less influence who I vote for ;)

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Add me to the list of those who’ve never watched DH. Other than the narrator died a year or so ago, I couldn’t tell you anything about it.

    • aims says:

      I was just about to say that!! The girl can’t be single and that to me is equally gross!

    • stellalovejoydiver says:

      Yeah she might be one of those women who can´t be alone, but maybe she just wants to start a family. As much as I loathe the whole her clock is ticking thing, but she knows she is 37, so if she wants to have kids she should find herself the right partner now. I just wish she had more common sense than wasting her time on some repulsive douche like Valderama.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        So start a family! Just don’t get with ANYONE to have little douche-encrusted babies.

        Babies can be had without an immediate partner (yes, adoption and single-motherhood, and all that).

        Would you (or ANYONE) wish WV as a father for your kid? I sure wouldn’t. The preventative medical bills alone would boggle!

      • stellalovejoydiver says:

        @ bella: Never ever I would want to have a kid with WV, he´s disgusting.
        I know that there are other means to start a family, and if I don´t find the right guy I would rather chose one of those alternatives, than just settle with someone random. I tried to explain, that in general the reason why she dates constantly and doesn´t stay single for a long time, may be not just that she can´t stay alone but because she tries to find someone to start a family, even though without a doubt WV is not the right one, so for her I hope it is not true. I´m pretty mich indifferent about her, but no woman should be with WV.

  6. Lukie says:

    A nice smile, a well placed compliment and good peen makes many a woman stupid.

  7. Shitler says:

    Eva’s a big girl. She can handle herself. He needs to stay away from young girls

  8. tory says:

    I concur that he must be very good at charm and flattery. I agree with Launicaangelina in that she’s at least age appropriate.

  9. Dana M says:

    I don’t find Wilmer attractive. I just can’t see it. Mark Sanchez on the other hand, a for sure YES!

  10. Miss Kiki says:

    He makes my skin crawl! At least she’s not some vulnerable and immpressionable teenager. He’s still gross though.

  11. Fofototto says:

    Didn’t she JUST break up with that football guy?

  12. Maritza says:

    They do look cute together, who knows maybe this relationship might work. Maybe that’s what he needs, someone mature besides beautiful.

  13. Cat says:

    Anyone else trying to figure out where her jacket went?

  14. Katie Too says:

    His dong must be amazing.

  15. Aubra says:

    Well each of them have been passed around quite a bit (him Hollywood, her the NFL and the NBA) lmao…

    They may as well give each other a go!

  16. jamminatorr says:

    I wish we could post pictures because the PedoBear “Too Old” picture is what popped in my mind when I saw this headline.

  17. RTR_Girl says:

    These two are a perfect match, and I definitely don’t mean that in a complimentary way.

  18. mln76 says:

    Body language in those photos is totally friendly but not sexy. Eva is way too feisty and demanding for Wilder he likes the kind he can suck the soul out of.

  19. OhDear says:


    Lord, Wilmer is so vile.

  20. stellalovejoydiver says:

    John Mayer is at least talented.

  21. Lin234 says:

    I’ve met a guy that actually told me that he always manages to score hotties by catching them on the rebound.(He was actually proud of this.) He explained it to me that as their rebound, the girls aren’t looking for anything serious and a lot easier.

    That guy reminds me of Wilmer. They both have skeevy personalities.

  22. MJsinAustin says:

    She has TERRIBLE taste in men. Eva your picker’s broken!

  23. Jennika says:

    I can’t stand her. Did anyone see how she tweeted that any woman who votes for Mitt Romney is a twat? And him- grossss

  24. Jay Elle says:

    This is a really random coupling…?

  25. spinner says:

    hmmmmm…I think this is a perfect pairing. They are just alike.

  26. Lisa says:

    He’s so gross. I wish he were more like Fez.

  27. Agnes says:

    Classic sociopath behavior – preying on others when they’re vulnerable, telling them exactly what they need/want to hear. I feel bad for her, man like that can be very damaging.

  28. tru tru says:

    jesus can any of these women be w/o a man for a few minutes???

    pretty gorgeous women, its sad really.

    how desperate are you to mess with him, YUCK..all of those germs from all of those others lovers. a big melting pot of LA slush germs.


  29. carrie says:

    did they date once before her marriage?

  30. oliveo says:

    Don’t care for either of them but I do think they’d have pretty babies

  31. Memphis says:

    This is a WTF?! couple if I ever saw one.

  32. lucy2 says:

    He seems kind of predatory. And creepy.
    She needs to try being on her own for five minutes.

  33. G says:

    He’s not bad looking but would MAYBE come up to my chin. Can’t stand her so I’m liking this!

  34. Raven says:

    Hopefully, this was just for the funeral. If not, I really question her judgment.

  35. normades says:

    She’s too old to be his type. He likes em real young.

  36. HappyJoyJoy says:

    I don’t understand women who can’t be single. Jumping from one “relationship” to another. To me it seems desperate & accentuates their insecurities (J.Lo anyone?) I don’t know what kind of validation they keep looking for but this seems like yet another empty promise. Also: Perhaps all the men you date are douchebags because they’re not past that age yet. Move up a generational pool and try dating someone your own age or older.

  37. SusieQ2 says:

    She reminds me of J-Lo in the sense that she always needs a man on her arm. At least she has the sense not to marry them.

    In this relationship (if that’s what it is) I think Eva would ‘wear the trousers’ so to speak. I wouldn’t worry about her – she can look after herself.

  38. Elceibeno08 says:

    When John and Wilmer get older and their looks fade, they will not be able to bed the same caliber of women. They will have to settle for less famous and less beautiful women.

  39. lori says:

    Feels like another version of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel to me.

  40. Mr. Stinky FishFace says:

    Sigh… I would have done anything to date Mark Sanchez (before I was married) and she ditches him for THIS.


    (Mark I’ll comfort your broken heart <33)

  41. midnightmoon says:

    maybe their skeeviness will cancel each other out. if they keep each other off the street, this is a GOOD THING. let the fireworks hegin. but i don’t think it will last long, sadly. i think they are both such jackasses that they will flame out in no time. boo…

  42. Kosmos says:

    I’m a bit shocked that Eva would do this, gahhhhh! Maybe she’s just vulnerable without a man at her side, so she takes on various men without much thought. But Wilmer? I’m really wondering about Eva now, this seems a bit sad. Wilmer is not someone to be considered no matter how good he looks for the moment. Eva, get a grasp. She is hitting everyone, why?

  43. Brittney says:

    I know I should take blind items with a grain of salt, but there was a devastating one recently about Demi Lovato, and if it’s true, he’s been sending her pictures of himself having sex with other women, just to make sure she can never fully recover from all the damage he did. This makes me wonder if Eva was one of said women.

  44. Sara says:

    Good, for once he is not chasing after some girl that isn’t of legal drinking age. Maybe he is trying to shape up his bad image.

  45. Stacy Dresden says:

    He would make a cute couple with NO ONE. He is gross and cruel.

  46. skuddles says:

    Well considering these two have famewhore boinked their way through Hollywood, it seems rather inevitable that they’d end up together.

  47. Ryan says:

    Nevermind Wilmer. What creeps me out is that they were “papped” leaving a funeral. Is nothing sacred? People are grieving. Some paparazzi are just scum.

  48. kelbravura says:

    They’re both hard up and trying to get papped and look relevant, and neither is very.

    He’s dating for exposure and she has to push the idea that pills are a scarcity for a waning politician who’s doing a lot of low brow t.v. himself.

    Careers dropping like rocks.

  49. lrm says:

    Hasn’t she been ’37′ for like 4 years????
    seriously, that seems to be her constant age….

  50. Cassie says:

    Hey – where’s David Spade when ya need him?!? Didn’t he used to be the “Hollywood rebound guy” with a bunch of actresses? Heather Locklear, Lara Flynn Boyle, and a bunch of others.

  51. Grace says:

    Two snakes. Perfect for each other.

  52. Cheche says:

    Who says THEY fall for these guys and they are not totally taking advantage of them instead…? I´d totally do him if I was depressed then toss him to the side once the sun comes out… please.

  53. Brat says:

    If true at least it’s with someone who is not barely legal, like all his other conquest.

  54. Kosmos says:

    Just a thought….do you think they could be “just friends?” I hate to think of Eva really dating him, gag….