Nigella Lawson won’t self-pity: ‘There are people going through an awful lot worse’

Nigella Lawson

I don’t expect this to be a ragingly popular post, but I wanted to touch base with something we haven’t seen for awhile: a smiling Nigella Lawson. 2013 was a rough year for the domestic goddess as she left her beast of a husband, Charles Saatchi, after he choked her at a public restaurant in London. Charles and Nigella quickly dissolved their marriage. She was still dragged through the mud when Saatchi sued their former assistants for fraud. The dodgy Grillo sisters were cleared on all charges but not before Nigella was put on the stand and admitted her own occasional cocaine use. Talk about needless character assassination.

Now Nigella is back and preparing for a new season of judging The Taste. The saucy celebrity chef seemed to be in good spirits as she visited GMA yesterday. She talked about the trial and the public spectacle involved with the choking incident. Nigella sounds like she’s in a much better place now:

On the grueling trial: “I have to be honest, to have not only your private life but distortions of your private life put on display is mortifying. But there are people going through an awful lot worse and to dwell on any of it would be self-pity and I don’t like to do that.”

Her main concern: “My only desire really was to protect my children as much as possible, which I couldn’t do, but that’s what I wanted to do,” she said.

On recovering from Saatchi: “Actually since then I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate. (And I) had a very good Christmas and I’m into the New Year.”

[From Yahoo! Good Morning America]

I find it amazing that Nigella can step back from her terrible, awful, horrendous year of public humiliation and realize that there are many people that have it worse. How many celebrities have you heard say that … ever? I hope she moves on from Saatchi with an amazing bloke. And I hope she keeps eating all of the chocolate because she’s earned it.

Here’s a video clip of the GMA appearance.

Nigella Lawson

Nigella Lawson

Screencap courtesy of YouTube, photos courtesy of WENN

 

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138 Responses to “Nigella Lawson won’t self-pity: ‘There are people going through an awful lot worse’”

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  1. Suze says:

    What a refreshing and mature opinion. I had to double check and make sure I was actually reading a celebrity blog.

  2. Secret Squirrel says:

    So refreshing to see a woman with dignity. Take that Charles you loser!

    I think she might have plumped up a bit again (happy eating?) but I like her plumper. She always carries herself beautifully no matter what padding she is carrying.

    Onwards and upwards Nigella!!

    • Ponytail says:

      I thought the opposite – her body looks much more toned and firm than I’ve seen it on occasion. But she has a lovely plumpness to her face, so she’s doing whatever she’s doing correctly !

    • Squirrel, you still up? I haven’t gone to bed yet :)

      And it may be crass of me to say–but have you seen Nigella’s rack? That face? She will have dudes of all ages drooling after her–I hope she finds a really hot guy (the more serious the better), and move on fast. Because we all know that’s what would really piss that douche Satchi off. That she’s moved on and is ignoring him. She didn’t even say his name—I bet you he’s fuming now.

      That’s my New Year’s wish.

      • bluhare says:

        I read articles on Huffington Post when Charles Saatchi choking her first became news, and the comments were hysterical. All these men just drooling over her! If she needed an ego boost at that time, I hope she read them or some like them.

    • Laura says:

      I have to agree – while I like Nigella at any size, I’ve always thought she was more gorgeous when she was bigger. Her face is just more filled out, I think.

      Either way, though, this lady is pure class.

    • Secret Squirrel says:

      @VC – Yup, still up!

      I think Nigella has a beautiful figure and can carry it slimmer or rounder. To me she looks happier when a bit more on the rounder side though. Either way, she rocks it!

      Oh, I’m thinking hot tryst with Nigella and Benedict. How crazy would that be?!! Even if it only lasted a month, I would be so jealous of both of them! Those lips on that rack… mamma mia!!

      • I would graciously let her have a go at my husband–seriously. He’s 61, she’s 53ish–totally age appropriate. And you know Satchi would be really pissed, because Liam’ dong is the stuff of Ballymena legend……and you know he knows how to use it. No other way he could’ve gotten Helen Mirren to bring him to Hollywood with her.

        That’s my vote. Plus what dude doesn’t like to eat, especially one that’s six foot something……match made in HEAVEN.

        I just want to watch ;)
        Their sex tape would sell like hotcakes, and I would be first in line.

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        *slightly hurt that I get frowned at for having a mere picture of said husband, but you’re more than willing to offer him up on a platter to Nigella*

        Well don’t hog the popcorn as I will be second in line! (knowing you, you would probably make the popcorn and cover it with caramel and pecans and rainbow sprinkles).

        Great… now I am hungry again…

        I think though Nigella having a short hot and heavy with a toy boy would put Saatchi in his place. Then she can find a proper romance and settle down for the long term! Saatchi’s romance with Trinny is weird and feels oddly contrived to me. So long as Nigella smiles whenever she goes out and about, it will piss Saatchi off to know he didn’t destroy her despite his best efforts.

      • (my stupid internet was out all day)
        *hugs and kisses*
        I know–but I feel bad for Nigella. Even if it’s just a fling–it’d be the more grown up mature version of Scarlet Johansson (after she divorced Ryan Reynolds) and Sean Penn. Except you’d want to imagine Liam’s O-face…. ;)
        Love Actually 2.0–the widowed, single, hot father meets a woman around his age who is smokin’ with kids of her own.

        And yes–I would be making caramel popcorn and eating m&ms by the fistfull…when my mouth isn’t hung open in shock….

        As for Satchi and Trinny–I read on this site that she’s a huge cokehead too, and that being with a youngish (she’s like in her forties I think), attractivish, blonde, YOUNGER woman, it’s supposed to make Nigella feel like she just lost a stud of a man *barf*

        Whatevs–he should’ve been thanking God that a woman that gorgeous and nice wanted his wrinkly balls anyway–he has absolutely nothing to commend himself other than money, and what’s worse is that he took advantage of a vulnerable woman. Gross.

        So whoever she gets with (seriously Liam would be an AMAZING idea–I should start a petition on that stupid website), I hope he’s a stud muffin.

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        Well, I’m giving my age away a bit here, but my first British gent crush was Nigel Havers. He is 62 so age appropriate for Nigella. I know he is happily married, but I can dream.

        Plus how cool would it be for them to be Nigel and Nigella! Nig-squared! Ni-Ni! GelGella! Oh I could go on for ages like this…

      • jaye says:

        @Virgilia…I bet he doesn’t make an O-face, I think he probably grabs your hair in his fist and puts his and on your throat while burying his face in the crook of your neck and grunting like a sexy beast. :::sighs::: I need a cigarette.

      • bob says:

        Ahh Squirrel, did you see Nigel Havers on The Sarah Jane Adventures? More wonderful and heart-breaking than Watership Down and Ring of Bright Water combined. He is wonderful, and so was Lis.

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        @bob – No, I missed that one. I was thrilled a few of years ago when he popped up on “Grumpy Guide To…”. Not only was he heart-meltingly gorgeous still, but he had a wicked sense of humor AND could get his grump on (JUST LIKE ME!). I recently took a look at Tumblr for the first time and guess who my first celebrity sneaky-peak was??!!!!!!!!!!!

        @Jaye – You seem to have thought this through… quite thoroughly… and descriptively… I would pay to see that! Even a drawing would suffice! (just don’t take a photo of it or VC will get jealous and go all kick-@ss on your good self!).

      • @jaye
        If I smoked, I’d need one too.
        And wooh! I read your comment five times…….that’s it, I’m going to Ireland. Or should I go to Australia and crash Squirrel’s place, so I can take a peek (read: steal) this picture of my husband that is in her possession?

        @Secret Squirrel
        Let’s just say, you should all be thankful that I feel like a stalker whenever I even contemplate writing fanfictions about celebrities (I mean, really thankful), because……0_0—that’s how your eyes would be at the end. Let’s just say I read entirely too much BDSM porn on the internet, and leave it at that. Entirely too much. When I die, they’re going to have to dig me out from under the millions of romance novels I will have acquired.

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        @VC – Up in the middle of the night again??

        I have bad news (well, more for me than you). I have been looking for my pic of your hubby and cannot find it. Have had a new drive installed in my laptop since pic was taken and now have fears I didn’t back up my photos thoroughly. I would make a terrible paparazzi! Hopefully you can sleep easier knowing I appear to be Liam-less again…

        I find fan-fiction really REALLY creepy. It’s like being at a shoe orgy where you’re the only one with flip-flops on but you are not allowed to leave… AWKWARD… Not that it ever happened to me… *ahem* Lets move on shall we.

        I was having a chuckle at this today. Not great sound quality, but you will get the joke! Apologies if you have already seen it, but I hadn’t (and stumbled onto it quite by accident!).
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFg_mtvub-Y

      • Squirrel–for the past week and a half, I’ve been going to bed at five in the morning and sleeping in until two. But alas, Christmas break is over :(

        I love fanfiction–it can get a little creepy though. I’m assuming you were talking about ‘real person’ fanfictions versus an alternate ending to the Harry Potter series–right? Let me tell you one really creepy thing on AO3.org (fanfic site). I started reading these stories about the tv show–Supernatural. Now let me tell you this–they are all 90% of them, about a gay couple. And there are TONS of other gay couples too (Castiel/Dean, etc–I don’t really know all their names though, still). Guess who the couple is–Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles. So I’m reading them, going what weird names. So I finally head over to wiki to read a little about the show–and I come across the two names–Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles.

        And me being a dummy is like—why do they have the same names as their characters? NOOOOO. It’s weird. Why would you write a fanfic using their real names? Like it’s not even in ‘real life’–but they have the same names. Creepy.

        And no–I hadn’t seen that video. I actually hadn’t known how big Liam’s dong was up until a year or so ago—he’s the original Fassy. Just think if he had been up and coming TODAY, instead of twenty years ago. *lays back and dreams of Liam’s dong*

        ‘Doesn’t yours shrink in the cold water?’–OH MY GOD. I died laughing. I wonder when he became fully aware of how big his….equipment was. :)

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        Probably about the same time a girl heard it slap against his knee and screeched “OMG LiLi”
        :D

  3. Abbicci says:

    I bought several people some of her books his year for Christmas. When the gifts were opened everyone said ” TEAM CUPCAKE.” Or ” OMG ,I LOVE HER!”

    She is wonderful and I hope she has a tremendous New Year.

  4. Frida_K says:

    She’s wonderful. I love Nigella!

    The dogs bark and the caravan continues forward. Her foul ex can do whatever he wants, but she comes out looking as yummy as a box of chocolates while he is left in her dust.

    Happy 2014 to all of us, and a happy one to Ms. Nigella!

  5. We Are All Made of Stars says:

    This woman is the Taylor Swift of England. Her rabid fan-base thinks she’s so great that they will find her to be a golly darned adorable cream puff no matter what she does. I don’t find her to be entirely without blame in this situation, particularly with regards to having her children around Saatchi for so long and for doing drugs in their household. It takes two to tango. Can’t get on the wagon of Nigella worship, sorry. Just don’t see it.

    • Amelia says:

      Not really.
      Nigella has sex appeal for starters, and is a very savvy, intelligent woman who hasn’t ever claimed or made out that she’s a saintly, virginal princess. She doesn’t seem to inhabit a make believe world of sunshine and unicorn sparkles either, AFAIK.

      • Nar says:

        I agree. When I see her show, her sex appeal is so dominant, I don’t care what she’s cooking or what recipe she’s talking about, I just want to watch her talk or do anything.

      • We Are All Made of Stars says:

        Exactly. She’s a person who trades on sex appeal rather than legitimate talent, and she will always be excused by people in her home country no matter what she does, IMO largely because she was born on the right rung of the class ladder, and sadly many British folks looove that stuff. She sells an image of adorableness and tacky sex appeal and then gets all creepy on the food in front of the camera. Meanwhile, back in non-sunshine-and-unicorn-sparkles land, she is getting abused by her husband who won’t eat her food, doing drugs with or in front of her kids, and tweeting about how awesome and June Cleaver-ish her home life really is. Oh wow. Getting caught at the charade was the best thing that ever happened to her.

      • Evi says:

        “She doesn’t seem to inhabit a make believe world of sunshine and unicorn sparkles either”

        That’s for sure. She inhabited a world of cocaine, pot and fast food.

    • eliza says:

      I said practically the same thing. I should read the comments before posting. Lol. You would have saved me the trouble.

    • Sloane Wyatt says:

      Perhaps I can help, Stars.

      Imagine, if you will, losing the love of your life and the father of your children to a devastating drawn out cancer. Being enveloped in horrible grief, you are ripe for the machinations of a family friend who you believe to be fiercely loyal, and you give yourself over to the larger than life hero who promises to heal your broken wings and rescue you from the darkest depths of despondency your soul has ever experienced.

      At first, all is well. You are thoroughly charmed and blessedly grateful for a chance at happiness again. Then, slowly, inexorably, the screws tighten, the scales fall from your eyes, and you awake as if from a fever dream to find yourself caught in a nightmarish web of abuse and terror. Being in the public eye, enduring unthinkable threats from the enemy you’ve unwittingly let in your home and around your children, you have nowhere to run and you turn to getting high.

      Shamed to your core, doing things you never thought you’d do, you sink further and further down, losing all hope, until one day, your secretive scheming abuser loses control in public and throttles you for all the world to see. You are brutally shocked back to who you are, somehow finding your strength of character once again, and you make the boldly decisive getaway this shockingly public humiliation affords. You run and never look back.

      Taylor Swift is adored for pretty much nothing. Nigella Lawson is a talented chef. One has had everything her little heart desires, the other has not. There is no comparison.

      • Amelia says:

        Do us all a favour Sloane, and write a book please.
        Any topic you like, just write one, you’re so damn entertainingly eloquent :)

      • Angie says:

        I love her…and now, I love Sloane too!! :)

      • We Are All Made of Stars says:

        That’s a super-awesome story… did you ever think of writing romance novels or soap opera plot lines? And soap-operatic flights of reality are exactly what this woman inspires in her fan base, it’s truly insane. So she impulsively married a guy who ALREADY had a reputation for being an —clown after the death of husband number one. Okay. Then she stays married to him for a decade of abuse and chooses to do drugs and subject her children to such because…. why? She is a rich privileged woman. She has resources that many others don’t have at their disposal when they find themselves in similar or worse situations. People leave men like this every day, and please believe me when I say that they aren’t leaving to go to their sister’s or brother’s mansions to be greeted by supportive and capable family members. It can be done, and the SECOND ADULT has the responsibility to seek help for them and their kids, they just do. Anyway, my first comment pertained to how her public is so infatuated with her that they will always see her as perfect and utterly blameless, and I think that that is both wrong and not empowering to her at all. To each his own.

      • Evi says:

        She was doing Charles Saatchi while she was married to her dying husband thank you very much…
        Money talks.
        BTW Nigella is not a chef. She is not a trained chef or otherwise. She is and was a journalist.

      • Jaded says:

        @Evi – she was not “doing” Saatchi while her husband lay dying. He had been a close family friend. Period. You seem to have the same agenda that Saatchi had, to bring her down with nothing more than a few unsubstantiated allegations.

      • Dimebox says:

        Beautifully written, Sloane. I think Nigella is a lovely, warm woman who was victimized during her period of grief. She was further victimized by that joke of a trial when the defense managed to make her the focus instead of the accused. I wish her nothing but the best.

      • Sloane Wyatt says:

        “It can be done, and the SECOND ADULT has the responsibility to seek help for them and their kids, they just do.” – We are All Made of Stars

        I feel the pain of that sentence. Of course, I agree with you that blame squarely lies on a mother’s shoulders for subjecting her children to an abuser and her own self-medicating. I don’t agree with you though that just because you’re wealthy, you are different from any other target of abuse.

        These things come on gradually, and The Toad King has proven himself a master of slowly and systematically dismantling his victims. Close friends of mine have been through this, women of means, and they get so beaten down that they believe it’s their fault. It isn’t. It is ALWAYS the abuser’s fault for finding the crack’s in their target’s psyche and fully exploiting them.

        Children may forgive their mothers, but many will never forget. They were counting on Mom to protect and shield them from this life’s horrors, and she failed. I understand your visceral rejection of a mother who allowed her children to be exposed to a monster and unfortunately feel the same way, but in the wake of their father’s death, Nigella’s naiveté and deeply depressed state led her to make an understandable, yet deeply flawed, mistake.

        However, unlike many mothers who subjected their children to abusers, who didn’t rescue them, and who cry to the heavens they are blameless, Nigella Lawson is embracing her mistakes and holding herself accountable. Nigella is refusing to be a martyr, and that’s why I admire her.

      • boredsuburbanhousewife says:

        @ SloaneWyatt u r totally right these people r shilling 4 Richard Hillgrove/Saatchi

      • bluhare says:

        Sloane, I’m with you 99%. The one thing I’ll nitpick is Nigella didn’t leave him until it got public. Maybe she took advantage of the public furor to make her escape; I do wonder if that’s what happened, but the story at the time was she wanted to stay in the marriage even though she’d left the house. He forced her hand by filing himself and then she finally went forward and didn’t look back.

        Whatever happened, I’m glad she’s away from him now and she does look amazing.

      • gaggles says:

        Sorry @SloaneWyatt. I can’t with this statement.

        “Of course, I agree with you that blame squarely lies on a mother’s shoulders for subjecting her children to an abuser and her own self-medicating.”

        Absolutely disagree. Sure this can apply in some cases, but not all and not even the majority in my opinion. People do not understand the nature of abuse. It makes you very afraid. Very afraid. You know and often feel that police and outside intervention are completely useless with an abuser. That it only causes more trouble. My mother was abused for ten years and she tried often to get out. But she couldn’t because she knew that she wouldn’t be able to support three small children on her own. By the time we were old enough she did get out. No one was willing to help her out ever. No one reached out a hand. It’s the fault of society around her that no one was willing to help her. A mother can only do so much. Sorry abused people NEED help. It’s not fair or right for us to turn our backs.

        As for Nigella I appreciate her opinion. She realizes she has means that most people don’t and there are others suffering much more greatly out there. I like her. She’s a role model.

      • MavenTheFirst says:

        @bluehare,

        I do believe this was her opportunity for escape and she saw it. With public pressure and public good will behind her as well as validation, it spurred her to get a clue and get out.

      • Sloane Wyatt says:

        It’s OK, gaggles. I do know all too well how afraid women are in these nightmarish scenarios and how truly desperate it is.

        “Of course, I agree with you that blame squarely lies on a mother’s shoulders for subjecting her children to an abuser and her own self-medicating.” Even as I wrote it, I knew this sentence could easily be taken out of context. This was too sweeping of a statement.

        I meant my remarks to be about specific cases, the ones you acknowledged when you wrote “Sure this can apply in some cases”. Please let me further clarify that I’m talking about those mothers claiming years later they were ‘good mothers’, making up completely false stories of their own bravely tragic deeds, inventing tales where they played the heroine, ‘topping’ their children’s’ grief with their own victimization, denying ever turning their backs while their own children were abused instead of them, and never telling the truth about anything at all when a good lie would do. From your story, I’m 100% positive your mother never did this, she did her very best, and you love her very much for it.

        I feel bad that my opinions would contribute, even for a minute, to any victimized mother’s misplaced guilt or to perpetuating untruths and misunderstanding about “the nature of abuse”. I meant to empathize with Star’s feelings in my 2nd post to her, although I didn’t agree with her conclusions. I hope I’m clearer now, and I’m glad you said something! Thank you.

      • Amanduh says:

        @ Sloane Wyatt…who are you??! You write some of the most beautiful, interesting comments!!!

      • Lady D says:

        I really want to be your friend Sloane. You consistently amaze and challenge me intellectually.

    • Abbicci says:

      Victim blaming is so 2013.

      Imagine if you were in an abusive relationship and you turned to someone for help and they said “Well, you asked for it.”

    • Evi says:

      I can’t either. I laughed when she posted up a turkey on the internet that she said she cooked for Christmas. Now if one researches her background online, she is Jewish. As far as I do know, Jewish people don’t celebrate Christmas, but here is Nigella saying she did, and she also writes Christmas themed cookbooks.
      And they accused the Grillo sisters of fraud?
      Nigella is a walking talking PR machine.
      She nauseates me.

      • Jaded says:

        Excuse me but I have Jewish friends who DO celebrate Christmas. Is there a law forbidding Jews from cooking and eating turkey? This is not fraud. It’s called holiday cooking.

      • embertine says:

        Right, she has Jewish ancestry so it is impossible that she can cook turkey. That is… actually, sadly, that is only the fourth weirdest thing I have read on the internet today.

      • Just a Brit says:

        The UK is a Christian country, Church of England, as such Christmas is a national holiday. What is so wrong about spending that day with your family, eating a wonderful and traditional meal together, regardless of your faith? I say this as a Jewish raised atheist vegetarian who hosts Christmas lunch at our house every year and cooked turkey, lamb and steak (and many other tasty treats) for my guests. Some of you may consider this a little hypocritical but I believe in catering for guests (family) and not enforcing my personal choices on anyone. Yes, Nigella is aware of marketing and PR, but I can’t see that she is doing anything wrong in the particular situation and/or worthy of vitriol and judgement. Perhaps, given the year she has had, it is of special importance to have some family bonding.
        Edit: yes, I do buy free range/organic meats. The rest of my family all eat meat and while I don’t, I’m prepared to give them what they enjoy.

      • bluhare says:

        Perhaps you can explain why Barbra Streisand, who is Jewish, has released a Christmas album.

      • gefeylich says:

        Ah, yes, because Jews are incapable of cooking “Christmas” food (which is just “food”). For the record, Lawson has repeatedly stated that she is only ethnically Jewish – she is Jewish only slightly culturally and religiously not at all.

        I have many born-Jewish friends who celebrate Christmas – which, if you had any education at all, would know is largely a PAGAN midwinter celebration based on ancient Roman, Celtic and Teutonic traditions (ie, tree worship, the use of protective evergreens such as holly, mistletoe, etc,, the burning of the Yule log, the tradition of wassailing, etc.). So who the hell cares if Lawson celebrates Christmas – it’s an insane mish-mash of a lot of not-Christian things.

        Also, JFYI, most of the most popular Christmas songs were written by Jews. Look ‘em up.

      • madchen says:

        Evi, you obviously don’t know any Jews.

      • K says:

        My husband is Jewish. His parents always celebrated Christmas with him, and we had them over this year for the full traditional deal. Not sure why you think they wouldn’t – it’s primarily a secular deal for most people in the UK. Turkey, tree, presents and decorations don’t have a lot to do with the birth of Christ, and we don’t have Thanksgiving, either.

      • Mel says:

        “Excuse me but I have Jewish friends who DO celebrate Christmas. Is there a law forbidding Jews from cooking and eating turkey? ”

        Cooking and eating – turkey or anything else – is not celebrating Christmas.
        Good grief.

        I do wish Christianity were given a tenth of the ostensible respect other religions ad cultures get. Our whole Western culture is built on it – the bad, yes, and its many many benefits, too.
        (Read Rene Girard, whoever may be interested in this.)

      • bob says:

        Pretty much everyone of every religion celebrates xmas in the UK. For a considerable number of people it means presents, a mahoosive dinner and dozing in front of the Doctor Who special. Sherry optional.

    • Jaded says:

      Stars, she succumbed, during a period of intense stress in her life (losing her husband to cancer) to an occasional toke or sniff with him to help ease his pain and depression. You make it sound like she was mainlining in front of her kids non-stop. I have nothing but admiration for her, but not necessarily for her cooking or her looks or her success. I admire her because she dealt with a horrible tragedy in her life, then with a disgusting nutter of a second husband who tried to demean and bully her publicly, but kept her head up and dignity intact.

    • MavenTheFirst says:

      Saatchi is an abuser. Try living with one and then get back to us.

    • boredsuburbanhousewife says:

      Is that you, Richard Hillgrove? Or are you just an employee? It has bee widely reported that Saatchi, & later the Grillos, hired the same former Saatchi pr hatchet ma Richard Hillgrove to smear Nigella as revenge. All the crap we are hearing from “posters” that Nigella was sleeping with Saatchi pre John Diamonds death, her alleged drug use etc all came from him.

      What disgusts me the most is the way these people are dragging not only Nigella but also her late husband who suffered horribly & did nothing wrong through the mud to salve the ego of a sick abusive bastard like Saatchi. Stop it right now!

    • jjva says:

      Do people who make blanket statements about the horrible moral bankruptcy of “doing drugs” feel the same way about alcohol, I always wonder? Or is legality the only concern?

      • Brittney says:

        @ jjva … Yes, I really don’t get that. One *could* say that the only reason for outrage here is the children, but I haven’t followed the case closely enough to know whether she was ever high around them.

        And you and I know the outrage is there with or without children. People still slam certain celebrities — almost all women — for drug use that stopped 10 or 20 years ago. I don’t get it at all. Personal drug use isn’t a moral issue if it only affects the user. It just isn’t. What you do to your own body… that has nothing to do with ethics or morality or whether you’re a “good” person. If you’re financially supporting warlords and terrorists by buying those drugs, maybe — but I highly doubt anyone’s talking about that when they condemn her for using cocaine, especially since there’s no way to know her source.

        Legal and moral codes are completely separate things. There are terrible, selfish, morally reprehensible choices that are perfectly legal, and there are completely harmless, benign activities (*ahem* planting a seed that grows into a marijuana plant in your own backyard?) that aren’t. But religion and morality are separate too, and a lot of people can’t seem to grasp that either.

      • jjva says:

        Well said, Brittney. Especially this part: “Legal and moral codes are completely separate things. There are terrible, selfish, morally reprehensible choices that are perfectly legal, and there are completely harmless, benign activities (*ahem* planting a seed that grows into a marijuana plant in your own backyard?) that aren’t.”

        And “drugs” encompasses so many things, from marijuana to PCP and beyond. Vaporizing a bit of THC in your living room after your kids are in bed is not the same thing as smoking a boatload of meth and punching out every single customer at a Denny’s, you know?

      • Lex says:

        Haha people do like to get on their high horses don’t they…
        OH the HORRORS she was a cracked out mess in front of her children and she frequently neglected, abused and mistreated them!
        She said nothing of the sort. Using cocaine a few times does not a bad parent make. You’d think half the people on here were on track for sainthood!

  6. The Wizz says:

    Love her so much. Look forward to seeing more of this woman.

  7. Aussie girl says:

    She has Handle herself so well though all of this drama. She has held her head up high riding through the storm and I admire her for it.

  8. embertine says:

    Without excusing her drug use or various other aspects of her behaviour, it’s pretty clear that Saatchi cared not a whit about the outcome of this trial. His intentions were to expose and humiliate his ex-wife so that he could maintain a measure of control over her.

    Well, guess what, you repulsive loser, she got away from you, and now everybody knows what an abusive little gargoyle you are. I would compare him to pondscum except that pondscum is actually useful.

  9. eliza says:

    While I appreciate her acknowledgement that there are many others with far worse going on in their lives, I cannot get on the Lawson bandwagon. Not only did she put her own self in harm’s way by being with that old woman beater, but she potentially put her children in harm’s way as well and I have no doubt she would still be with him had it not been for those pictures exposing the truth about their lives together. In my opinion, this woman is no hero. Sorry, I just don’t have the love for her like everyone else does.

    • Marigold says:

      Jesus. That’s some serious victim blaming coming from someone that doesn’t seem to know a lick about being in an abusive relationship.

      • eliza says:

        Actually, not that is any of your business, but I know PLENTY about being in an abusive relationship. Thank you for COMPLETELY misunderstanding the point of my post. I won’t dare try to rewrite my thoughts as you seem to know so much about me and my life. Have a nice day.

      • MavenTheFirst says:

        @eliza,

        You are absolutely blaming the victim. Your words are out there. I don’t care how much you think you know about being in an abusive relationship because you are wrong. And I would suggest if it’s yourself you’ve talking about that you find better therapists. You deserve better.

    • Mazza666 says:

      I don’t think you have to love Nigella but blaming her for putting herself and her children in danger by associating with the husband that abused her? Seriously?! So all victims of abuse deserve what they get then for putting themselves “in harm’s way”? And if she’d allowed herself to be abused further, rather than leaving him when the photos became public, this would have made her a bad person?! This comment makes me sad.

    • We Are All Made of Stars says:

      I totally agree that if the pictures didn’t come out they would still be together. They ruined her image as the “Domestic Goddess” and therefore she had to act to avoid the damage to her career. She was exposed as a liar, basically, who was selling a false image to the public. Yay for one other person who looks through the hype.

      • Jaded says:

        And what, exactly, did she lie about? She’s not selling a false image, she loves to cook and be with her family. That she’s turned it into a lucrative business is admirable, not worthy of such scorn….Charles Saatchi can be an immensely charming man, and I believe he took full advantage of Nigella at an emotionally draining period of her life. I think he became jealous of her success once they were married, and the bullying started. At first you don’t believe it’s happening to you (I’ve been through it), that somehow you’ve done something wrong, and you’ll try desperately to get back that happy “family” feeling by kicking the bad stuff under the carpet. She’s done the right thing by admitting her occasional lapses, not lying, and holding her head high.

      • MavenTheFirst says:

        Or these stark photos gave her an escape buoyed by public pressure and goodwill. At the moment, I prefer this scenario.

    • Suze says:

      I don’t “love” her – I don’t love any celebrity. But I understand how she got involved and stayed involved in a downward cycle of love/abuse/bad habits, particularly after the horrific death of her first husband. It’s called being human and making human mistakes.

      Bad marriage? Drug use? They are mistakes, and bad ones, but I don’t think think they are unforgivable or that they in any way diminish all her accomplishments. Robert Downey was in much worse straits and did worse things: he came back and is almost universally loved.

      Her attitude is very healthy after this mess – it’s terrible but I think going through the public exposure and humiliation was almost necessary for her to see the light. Her relationship with her husband was toxic and she was adept at hiding her problems. Now she’s not hiding anything and she seems to be able to pick up the reigns of her career and be stronger than ever. I say bully for her.

    • betsy11 says:

      Agreed. She herself said that she lived in a state of “domestic terrorism” (if memory serves) so I can only imagine the kind of abuse she suffered at home, if her husband actually felt like he could choke her in public. It’s unknown how long they lived like this, but I would guess her kids saw her being battered/beaten/abused for years. He didn’t turn into a wife beater overnight, and I doubt anyone believes the choking was an isolated incident. I don’t know why victims of domestic abuse don’t leave sooner for the sake of their kids, but there are complicated psychological theories behind this.

      I feel awful for any domestic abuse victim, but am I the only one who thinks it’s ironic that she’s touted as a domestic goddess? I haven’t seen her show, but this whole 1950s throwback thing has always sickened me. The glorification of the housewife looks cute on TV, but people forget how much less power women had back then. Much like Nigella, women had to keep quiet and cover for their abusers as long as they could.

      • embertine says:

        While I do think her sexiness is overplayed (lovely though she is, it’s a cooking show, not a softcore p*rn movie), there isn’t really a Fifties housewife vibe to her show. I used to watch regularly and, if anything, I thought she was playing too much on the “women can have it all and you too should be knocking out a three-course dinner for six whilst looking this good”.

      • Montréalise says:

        The exact phrase she used was “intimate terrorism” – I am guessing that any time she brought up divorce, he threatened to destroy her. As recent events showed, she was right to fear the consequences of her leaving – the a-hole has spent the last six months trying to ruin her life, her career and her reputation through every means, covert and open, at his disposal.
        I also think that like most abuse victims, she was ashamed of what was happening and tried to hide it. I’ve known several women who were in abusive relationships and they didn’t tell anyone what was really going on, instead pretending that everything was fine. Once the pictures of Saatchi throttling Nigella were published, though, the abuse was out in the open for the whole world to see and she could no longer hide what her marriage was really like.

  10. Nroth Wset says:

    She grew up, thnk God..She was so in Love with that Horror, of a man

  11. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Nigella Lawson is delightfully sassy! I LOVE her. I’m not sure I can get past majorly fangirling her to get a coherent sentence out, but I’ll try.

    I find her amazingly together after all she’s been through. I had no idea the English Court System didn’t allow attorney’s for witnesses. Given the fact Nigella basically was on her own being grilled for what seemed hours on end, it’s even more impressive that she was able to hold on to that center of herself and acquit herself so admirably!

    To top it off, Her Nigellaness thought of others less fortunate than herself who were going through so much worse! This whole brouhaha is a ringing testament to her own character and stoutness of heart. I’ve no doubt she will come back from this annus horribilis stronger and more beloved than ever.

    (Why can’t we have more ‘reality stars’ like this one?! *side eying you ugly to the core duckhunters on a certain network that shall not be named*)

  12. I LOVE this classy woman! Love her. Love that she hasn’t said that abusive douche’s name. I hope she never does, and finds happiness.

  13. Tig says:

    I always enjoyed her shows, and now come away with admiration for her guts. It takes a lot to stand up to a bully, and one rich as Midas to boot. Hope it’s great chocolate, but M&Ms work in a pinch! Happy 2014 to all CBers!

  14. Christine says:

    I have loved her for years! She’s sexy, true, & her recipes are amazingly delicious. However, the way that she has handled herself these last several months has been astonishing to me; she is the definition of elegance, intelligence, and class.

  15. embertine says:

    Wow, it didn’t take long for the victim blamers to come out and say she got what she deserved because she stayed with an abuser. Have some frickin’ empathy, people; I’m pleased for you that you don’t know what it’s like to have someone systematically isolate you and destroy your self-esteem, but lots of us HAVE been through that and it’s not just because we are pathetic losers. Being targeted by someone who makes it their mission to hurt and control you is a sign of weakness on the part of your ABUSER, not on the part of YOU.

    • eliza says:

      Lol. I adore how you put words into my post that did NOT exist. Maybe you should not speculate what people have or have not been through before assuming anything. I WAS a victim of unspeakable abuse to the point I had a gun pointed at my face. I did put myself in harm’s way. I am mature enough and realistic enough to admit that. I do not blame other’s for my choices. I deal with my abuse and the ramifications of it every day.

      The first thing the group I joined to deal with the abuse encouraged was to deal with things honestly. Sorry if I personally feel I had a small part in choosing a horrible man who almost killed me.

      Way to judge others for things you know nothing about. Thanks for that.

      Have a good day.

      • embertine says:

        I’m not saying that victims shouldn’t take any responsibility for their choices. I too found it pretty empowering to realise that I HAD choices, and that I could walk away anytime I liked. I’m also really glad that you got out, eliza, and that you found peace with your part in your situation.

        However, turning that around on other abuse victims and implying that because you got out and faced up to what happened, that means that anyone who hasn’t done so, or hasn’t done so yet, deserves it is really sad to me.

      • anon33 says:

        Not everyone feels the same as you, eliza, and that’s ok. Just because you found that that mindset helps, doesn’t mean that everyone will. In addition, a lot of times people make “choices” that seem normal and right at the time and then are revealed later to have been mistakes.

        Yes, technically, I “chose” my abuser, but he didn’t start abusing me until we had been together almost a year and he already had me on the hook with being in love and him being “my first.” So while yes I did initally “choose” him, I had no idea WHATSOEVER that he would turn out to be an abuser and eventually a rapist. We started out as teenagers having fun. And you should know that once you’re sucked in it’s nearly impossible to get out.

        THAT is what people are taking issue with in what you have said: the presumption that because something worked for you, it should work for them too. It doesn’t always work like that.

      • MavenTheFirst says:

        @anon33

        You did not choose an abuser. You did not “choose” abuse. You chose someone who was not abusing you at the time and then later showed his true colours. That is what happens to the abused. No one ever “chose” an abuser or to be abused. To me that is insanely ignorant and sick logic which does as much harm as an abuser. So glad you take issue with it!

      • anon33 says:

        Maventhefirst,

        Agree 100%. It saddens me that other survivors perpetrate this negativity.

      • Jaded says:

        Eliza, without being personally involved in everything Nigella went through from the long, painful death of her first husband to her unfortunate relationship with Saatchi, you shouldn’t project the horrors you went through with your abusive relationship onto what Nigella experienced. None of us here can put ourselves in her position, each situation is individual and personal. I fell in love with an abuser too, but the abuse didn’t start until I was so far gone into his control that I didn’t see the forest for the trees, which is unfortunately what happens to most abuse victims. Regardless, Nigella has taken the honest and strong high road and you can’t fault her for that.

  16. Sisi says:

    I sincerely wonder what kind of deal Saatchi has going on with the BBC, because they edited out almost his entire presence in this trial and divorce and only talked about Nigella’s drug use in a bad light.

  17. Maddict says:

    Being with an abuser erodes your self esteem and makes you think that you can’t do any better. Abusers are manipulative and know just the right buttons to press to get you to stay. There are times you want to leave but your afraid and then something happens, it feels like you’re thrown in ice water, to make you wake up and somehow find the strength to move on but it’s not easy. It happened to me.

  18. Helvetica says:

    A total class act. Love her.

  19. Grant says:

    I quite like Nigella. I think she looks like such a lovely, elegant dame.

  20. MavenTheFirst says:

    I admire her stiff upper lip persona. However, the fact is that victims of abuse/the seriously malignant character disordered suffer from heavy PTSD among other things. It will take her a long time to heal, but at the same time, Saatchi is loaded and can ambush her with all sorts of vicious accusations and attempts to demolish her good name. IMO, it ain’t over. Watch your back, Nigella!

    At the same time, good on you for never letting him see you sweat. And you are, indeed, better off than some because you have the massive good will of the public behind you.

  21. LisaM says:

    Great post!! Love her and her food!! So happy that her new show is being well received, it will premiere in the UK early next week. Also, some comments above are insightful and well written, particularly those by Sloane, so thank you.

  22. madchen says:

    I can’t believe some of the hate filled comments on this thread. I think a lot of people can relate to being sh-t on and Nigella’s been sh-t on in private and now in public by a puss filled leech who practically cackles at the mention of her name. If people are over looking whatever her limitations are, including staying with an abuser which is outrageously common and very complicated, it’s because they can’t believe how Saatchi continues to be so fixated on destroying her. He’s a cartoon villain. She is deserving of support not judgement.

  23. Gorgonia says:

    For Nigella, only two words: great and classy.
    Regarding the whole abuse thing, I think it’s always wise not to look down the victims. You really can find yourself in an abusive relationship, even if you are not usually weak, even if your self esteem is not so ruined.
    The abusers never show their true nature in the beginning of a relationship: they work gradually.
    The first months, maybe the first year is all love bombing, then it starts with a cunning mix of abusive acts and loving acts, and then everything is a total mess, and you realize it only when it’s too late.
    Remember: if you put a fish in a bowl of very hot water, the fish jumps out immediately. But if you put a fish in a bowl of cold water and then you warm it gradually, until the water is boiling, the fish is “done”, unable to jump away.
    To be careful and humble is the best option …

  24. Mollie says:

    I love the way she is handling herself through this situation, love her looks/styel, think she’s hilarious, love her on the taste. She has seduced me.

  25. Therese says:

    I was tempted to post when I saw you write that this might not be a popular post, and I wanted to assure you that it was at least with me. But I see from reading most of the posts that Nigella is hugely popular and has everyone’s sympathy, which is as I think it should be.

    I love Nigella. She is of a certain age, stylish, human, beautiful in a real/ non-anorexic way. I really liked her on Taste, which is where I became a bigger fan. She was so compassionate. I just identify with a woman who has suffered, but come out of her problems with her head up. This answers one of my concerns about her: I was so afraid that Taste would drop her. I’m very proud of them that they didn’t. Can’t wait for it to come on again.

    TEAM NIGELLA. Please keep the posts re Nigella coming. Nice to real about a real person.