Madonna uses ‘gay’ as a negative slur to describe kale: offensive?

Madonna

This is a photo of Madonna dressed as a “bunny” on Easter. Madge is 55 years old and spends a great deal of time trying to be one of the cool kids. She wears a silly grill. She performed with rebel of the year, Miley Cyrus. She posts furry armpit photos and gives her shower a tongue bath on Instagram. She uploads photos of Rocco, age 13, holding a bottle of gin and calls him the “n” word as “a term of endearment.” She’ll do anything for attention, which is sad. Madonna could be acting like a dignified and empowered woman, but that’s no fun.

Madonna isn’t done offending everyone. Many people consider her a gay icon, but she upset many fans during a 10 Random Things Buzzfeed feature. She wrote down the first word that came to mind on various topics. Madonna reacted to “Instagram” with “time consuming.” When she was asked about guacamole, she responded, “gross germs.” That’s weird, right? Guacamole is amazing. Madonna got down to business by describing kale as “gay.

Madonna

She also decided that Russian president Vladimir Putin was “gay” too. She said that about Putin because of his anti-homosexuality stance. She’s trying to be funny about Putin. The kale response is different. Madonna does not like kale. She’s using “gay” as an insult. She’s using the word to describe a negative reaction.

A lot of people on Twitter were disgusted and upset at Madge’s flippant attitude. Is her use of “gay” offensive? I doubt Madonna meant it that way, but she has a history of insensitivity about slurs. Madonna thinks it’s fine to use the n-word in a casual manner. She uses it to be cool. She probably thinks it’s hip to toss out “gay” too.

Madonna

Photos courtesy of Buzzfeed, Fame/Flynet & Madonna on Instagram

 

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179 Responses to “Madonna uses ‘gay’ as a negative slur to describe kale: offensive?”

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  1. Veronica Knowles says:

    I hate this has been, desperate old hag

    • kimber says:

      Old ladies say the weirdest things. I feel sorry for her. It must be hard to bedazzled her walker with her bad joints.

    • Crank says:

      She needs to just shut up. I think her last good album was ‘confessions’ (which I still rock out to) but that was right before I thought of her as disgusting.
      I don’t find the word ‘gay’ offensive unless used in a completely hateful manner by a hateful person…she’s shown that she supports the gays so I give her a little slack. It still shouldn’t have been said, but I’m not going to get my Calvin klein’s in a wad over it

    • Milla says:

      actually as much as i dislike her, the whole thing was out of contest, so she didn’t do anything wrong. this time.

    • Dommeh Dearest says:

      Same, same over 9,000.

      Personally, Alec Baldwin finally was dealt the result of his slurs and the damage they do. Why she couldn’t use ‘stupid’. Why use a word that’s offensive to a community? These celebrities and their high horses. But this is also the woman that said the ‘n’ word and issued a sorry not sorry apology. I want to write it off as a dying celebrity trying to get more publicity but still, she knew using ‘gay’ would upset people. That’s why she did it.

    • gefeylich says:

      Aw, the 21st century Mae West is just being “edgy.” You know, “edgy” – as when she wore an ugly gold grill, called her son the n-word on Twitter, did her “mutton dressed as lamb” thing as Kaleesi for Purim and in her undies a few days ago. She’s so cutting-edge! So current! So on-point! So transgressive!

      Well, in her mind she is.

    • Hiddles forever says:

      Old hag fits her well… Not even my mother would be that much of an old hag at over 70.
      Madonna you are 55, get over it damnit!

      • Mena says:

        Don’t you think calling people old in this way is an insult too? Shouldn’t the word be elderly? And since Madonna is nowhere near elderly, the word old is being used in just as an insulting manner as the word gay. Kale is not gay, Madonna is not old. What she is is ridiculous.

      • BestJess says:

        I’m with Mena, there’s plenty of offensive terms being used here in this thread. I don’t object to the old so much, it’s descriptive like describing someone as being black or white, but hag? Sexist and ageist.

    • Lee says:

      Damn, I wish I could ‘like’ this comment.

    • Amy says:

      Veronica, I totally agree with you…she’s a has-been and I don’t know why she still gets so much attention. She hasn’t had a decent song since around 1985…
      Now, how come most celebs get lambasted and have their entire lives and careers destroyed (Paula Deen, among others) for using a racist or bigoted word, but it’s ok for Madonna? Especially at a time when homosexuals and lesbians have made so many strides and are finally being accepted by so many people. She is an arsehole.
      Edited to add-one of the comments above mentioned what happened to Alec Baldwin for using the same word. I had forgotten about that! Look how much trouble he got into and even lost his job.

      • CHT says:

        While I don’t condone what Madona said, I think there’s a bit of a difference with how Paula Dean used to word vs. how Madonna used it. Madonna is using it in a playful manner (still ignorant) whereas Paula Dean was obviously being demeaning. Intent is important… like calling your friends “bitches” is different from a stranger screaming “bitch” at you in an angry manner…

  2. mimif says:

    Hm. I find the header pic offensive. No wait, I find all of it, this whole post, offensive. What happened to you Madonna?

  3. blue marie says:

    In the last photo of her winking she reminds me of the preacher from Poltergeist. Careful kiddies, shes slowly recruiting you to join her in her cult cave, run far and run fast.

  4. LadyMTL says:

    I’m not trying to defend her behavior at all but I remember when I was a wee lass we used gay as an insult all the time (and I’m not 40 yet so this isn’t just an old fart thing). I obviously now don’t do that but it might be a generational thing?

    Still, she should know better.

    • Jess G. says:

      I don’t think it’s generational.

      Kids fresh out if college at work use it all the time.

      And I calmly mention that I find it offensive.

      I don’t even think they hear themselves say it. Much like some of the four-letter words and word combos that come out of my mouth.

    • Leen says:

      I’m going to be all Grad school nerdy now, but I don’t find the word ‘gay’ offensive, at all even in this context. I wish we can retire the word gay from our sexuality dictionary. I much rather use the word Queer (and a lot of nowadays queers I know much prefer that word to describe their gender identity).
      I could go on about why ‘gay’ as a term for sexual diversity is problematic BUT I won’t bore you with that haha.

      • Goodnight says:

        You might prefer that but I personally don’t know any gay person who enjoys referring to themselves as queer. I’m happy to describe myself as gay, it’s my descriptor of choice.

        I find it ridiculous rather than offensive. It’s pathetic that at her age she’s still using gay to describe a vegetable like she’s some thirteen year old kid. It’s symptomatic of everything wrong with her trendy bullshit.

      • sienna says:

        It is offensive. Watch this:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZwcnxdz5lQ

        It is the best explanation I have ever seen.

      • Alex says:

        LEEN – I am gay and I prefer the word “gay”. I don’t know anyone who prefers “queer”. In fact, I hate that word. It means strange or odd. Why would you want to describe yourself like that? The whole idea is to get people to realise we are not a deviation or abnormal. It’s just as normal as any other sexual orientation.

      • Tessy says:

        @Alex I work with a couple of lesbian girls, and they refer to themselves as queer. People used to say that decades ago as a slur so I’ve been hesitant to use the word but that is their preferred term so I’m getting used to it. I still don’t like to use it myself because there are people who react to it like you.

        At my age I find it tough to navigate how language is changing. For example, we used to call Native American people Indians, and it wasn’t meant as an insult. Now some don’t mind and still call themselves Indian, others don’t like it.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Why can’t we just say homosexual or lesbian or transgender or whatever? Queer sounds very uncomfortable to me because of my age, I guess. When I was young, that was used very cruelly.

        And I’m not clutching my pearls or anything, but I don’t think it’s nice to call something gay when you mean it’s bad, just like I don’t think it’s nice when men call each other “girl” as an insult. It implies there’s something wrong with being gay or a girl. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s not helping anything and would it hurt to stop doing it?

      • Leen says:

        Let me explain, the reason why I get a very strong reaction to the word ‘gay’ is because I think it forces people to conform to certain identities and actually ‘hetrosexualize’ the world. I completely understand where you coming from, the reason why I began to change my mindset is because I have done work with LGBT organizations in the Middle East and Africa, and it as a very educational experience. They abhorred the term ‘gay’, not only because it had a very differently linguistic structure but it forces people to choose an identity.
        I strongly suggest the piece ‘Re-orienting desire: the gay international’ by joseph massad. He articulates the way I feel perfectly. But again, I understand that my viewpoint is very academic and not necessarily popular.

        Basically, I just wish we acquired an open minded towards sexual diversity. There are many people who will engage in same sex acts but are not gay, bisexual or lesbian. I dunno that’s just my stance, it does not accurately reflect sexual diversity of human beings.
        Again, I recognize that I had a wholly different experience as I have seen very strong and negative reaction from Middle eastern and African LGBT communities to the term ‘gay’ and much preferred ‘queer’ as a term .

      • ChicagoGirl says:

        Or, or, hear me out on this one, we don’t retire the word but rather allow people to self identify as they see fit? I’ve been to grad school, and I do identify as queer. Neither gives me the audacity to suggest we should stop using a word that so many strongly relate to or identify as. You weren’t being “grad school nerdy” so much as grad school naive and pretentious. There is a significant number of people who are offended when gay is used as a slur or in place of stupid. Suggesting we dismiss their feelings about thus because YOU are not offended is selfish and absurd. I hope you were trolling with your post.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Ok, thank you both, but do you have a suggestion for me if I feel uncomfortable with “queer?” Now I feel uncomfortable with “gay,” too. Please don’t get mad, I just grew up in a time when that word was used to hurt people, and I don’t mean to be disrespectful of anyone’s wishes, but I just don’t think I can say it. I understand that sexuality is a whole spectrum, and I’m not trying to fit people into little boxes.

      • Bridget says:

        It just goes to show, different strokes for different folks (and in this case, quite literally). Back in my nonprofit days I’d go to trainings put on by some of the lovely ladies that ran the local LGBTQ Alliance, and they would state that the proper terminology today is “queer” and that “gay” and especially “homosexual” was the offensive term. For a whole new generation of people “queer” is not an insult, though obviously context is key.

      • Leen says:

        @Chicagogirl, maybe I am being naive and I appreciate that. I completely agree people should identify as they see fit. I guess what I’m saying is that the terms gay, bisexual, transgender, lesbian, is very nuanced. In my experience I just recieved a very negative reaction towards the term ‘gay’ (from LGBT organizations in the middle east and africa), and from my experience, it just doesn’t reflect the human sexual diversity. And Madonna, who has been the frontier part of the LGBT movement in the 80s and 90s, I think she’s getting a lot of flake, too much actually, for her comment.

      • Leen says:

        Goodnamesarealltaken, I think with different generations what makes sense and lends people agency is what is important. People would use fairly neutral terms to describe sexuality in a negative viewpoint, but that does not mean it isnt. I think the best thing you can do is listen to LGBT people around the world. One of my good friends who is a lesbian, feels very strongly about that term and identifies as Queer. But that’s the thing, just lend agency to the people involved.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Ok, Leen, thank you for responding. I completely see your point. I’m not sure I can call someone queer, but at least I can be more observant and aware of the whole name issue. Perhaps I’ll get used to it, or just spend the rest of my life structuring sentences to avoid using any term at all. Thank you for trying.

      • TheHeat says:

        Here’s a thought: why not refer to people who are LGBT as…Bob, or Mary, or whatever their actual name is?
        Why the need for a label at all? No one points me out as ‘the straight girl’ in order to identify me.

        As far as the latest from Madonna, it’s really rather sad. She is so obviously doing whatever she can to remain in the media…it worked when she was younger and making music…but everyone knows her schtick now; it’s been copied ad nauseum. I

        It’s time for granny to hang up her cone bra and put on her flannel nighty, once and for all.

    • lunchcoma says:

      If this incident had happened 25 years ago, I might buy that. But she hasn’t been living in a cave since then. My parents are older than Madonna, and over the years my dad has learned that it’s not an appropriate way to speak. She has the same opportunity.

    • homegrrrl says:

      She’s just proving how words are transitory- I say “gay” for “weird” all the time. I say crazy for good and bad, am I showing hatred for people who have bi-polar disorders, or for schizophrenics? This post is so dumb. (am I now making fun of people who are mute?)

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        I see your point, and words are transitory. Gay used to mean happy. But I just don’t see the point of using it if it offends people or hurts their feelings. There are lots of other words, and I don’t understand when people knowingly use a word that others consider offensive and just say, “you’re being oversensitive if you’re offended.” It doesn’t hurt you not to say it, so why not just be considerate of other people’s feelings? I mean, I’m sure you are, generally, but why not in this case?

  5. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    For the love of God, can we just get rid of her? Someone before suggested an eject button from earth. I like it.

  6. Patricia says:

    Yes it’s totally offensive! I was born in the 80s, and as a teen in the 90s we all would say “that’s so gay” to describe something we didn’t like. It was juvenile and thoughtless. As gay rights has become a kind if civil rights movement over the last decade, it has become even more apparent how inappropriate and offensive it is to use “gay” in a derogatory manner, even when kidding around.
    I stopped using this word this way when I was about 15 years old. I would never use it like that today. But I guess I’m not surprised that I’ve been more mature and toughtful than Madonna since I was a teenager!

  7. neelyo says:

    Is she winking in that last photo to prove she can still move her face?

  8. lower-case deb says:

    the winking photo!
    i hope she didn’t pull a muscle or sprain her cheeks or anything.
    her face muscles looks like it’s unaccustomed to such an exertion.

  9. The Wizz says:

    Yuck would have been a more appropriate word association for kale. Gay as an insult is so 1990′s. And is now wrong.

  10. gg says:

    MADONNA – STUPID COW

    Time to grow up again, like you did when you were pretending to be English and riding horses and wearing tweed.

  11. Loopy says:

    Madonna doesn’t care about offending people, infact she loves it, because that is the only way she can get attention these days. So actually reporting on this misfit is giving exactly what she wants.

  12. smee says:

    If she wasn’t (at one time) the Queen of Gay Disco, I would be pissed, but I’m pretty sure she’s not a homophobe.

    She is speaking as if she were a 12 year old boy……..and it’s ridiculous. She’s taken this whole mutton dressed as lamb to a whole new level. I don’t want to be an old fart who isn’t with it, but you’ve got to pick & choose and be yourself!

  13. QQ says:

    Madonna: Full on Professional Raisin Troll

  14. Gal says:

    Agree with Loopy. Being offensive is the only way she can get attention. She wins.

  15. NewWester says:

    One thing about Madonna, she sure knows how to keep her name in the news

  16. Alarive says:

    I don’t know.. If you take it out of context then it seems like a slur, definitely. But they had asked her really silly questions right until Putin, and she called him Gay, and the subsequent question was “Kale”, and she answered “gay” again. I don’t use gay in that sense, and I know Madonna’s love for gays, so I immediately understood it as a joke.
    Maybe it wasn’t the very best joke, but it was still a joke. Maybe I’m too lax?

  17. Jen says:

    You have to see it in context. It wasn’t meant to be negative at all, more like she’s saying kale is awesome.

  18. Size Does Matter says:

    I may not know what a “stan” is or what “shipping” is outside of the FedEx context, but I do know it is not okay to use “gay” as an insult. Also, is she so addled that in a ten word game she couldn’t come up with ten different associations?

  19. Maria says:

    One of the most saddest things to me is a person who doesn’t mature and evolve with age.

    She’s old enough to know better, unfortunately, her head is so far up her own ass she doesn’t care.

    Given how much support she has received from the community over the past three decades, it’s not only shameful but a blatant disrespect of the very people who’ve supported her.

    She’s pathetic.

    • Dani2 says:

      I agree, she hasn’t matured at all and it’s sad that she’s mother to two young people.

      • FingerBinger says:

        Madonna has four children BTW. Also, she got the response she wanted because we’re talking about her.

      • Artemis says:

        But she used to have people talking about her while she delivered awesome music and iconic shows. There was MORE to her. Her personality was strong but it had a sense of purpose. Nothing she does is changing pop culture like it did in the past. Even she realised that the Erotica-era was too much and she did a 180 and came back stronger than ever. Now she can’t even do that. She keeps doing stuff pure for attention and doesn’t care about the quality.

        She has nothing left but this and it’s tragic. She’s turning into a Hollywood cliché and it’s getting more and more obvious. I want better for her but I don’t see her career ending on a strong note.

      • FingerBinger says:

        Madonna’s career is never going to end. Whether we agree with it or not, she IS a cultural icon. She’s made history. Also she has a hard core fan base, of millions, that will stick with her no matter what. So it doesn’t matter what anyone on here says. It doesn’t matter how many people call her old or irrelevant. She’s going to do what she’s going to do.

      • Artemis says:

        I said it will not end WELL, not that it will end. It won’t. She won’t allow it. But in the past at least her good music and positive messages overshadowed her attention seeking antics. She was fun, wild, outspoken and her music makes you want to dance and feel happy.

        Yeah, I’m not sure about that fan base. Nobody is buying her albums anymore. Where are her millions of fans when her album sells 500k? For an icon who is in the news so much, 500k is pitiful. Maybe they are saving up for her 300 dollar tour tickets because god forbid she might actually stand on stage 10min and sing instead of robotically going through 5 high production segments with long video interludes and convoluted political or self-aggrandizing speeches (see Mdna Paris).

        Let’s not even speak about quality of her work. Even when the backlash was very bad (American Life and Erotica), she still managed to sell more than she did now. And they are good albums! Her Sex book was bought for a ridiculous price and sold out within mere days, what was SecretProjectRevolution? People still search for the Sex book, people prefer her old music (pre-2008). They could rag on her as much as they wanted, they still bought her products! Now? Not so much.

        Her tours are a success though, which is why she keeps churning out mediocre to bad albums. People will still go see her regardless. Personally I want(ed) to see her but then I remind myself she mainly plays new songs and reworks her older ones to the point where they become unrecognizable. There’s no heart there anymore. Just money and clinging on to youth.

        Cher is a cultural icon too yet nobody checks for her if she wouldn’t bring herself in the media. Most older icons rely on their body of work from the past. You know, when they were the best and when they cared about the material they put out.

        There are a lot of icons who have a tragic career or ended on a tragic note. Being iconic has nothing to do with being respected in the present. Far from. And maybe it matters what she herself said back in 98? During Madonna Rising (with Rupert Everett), she basically said she didn’t see herself perform in her 50s like Mick Jagger and doing big productions. She was focused on making music and an ambition to make films. Now that she’s in her 50s she’s singing about mdna and making albums purely to go on tour. The woman is lost.

  20. Quinn Parker says:

    silly putty face=offensive

  21. Ugh…maybe it’s time for her gerontologist to up her haldol prescription. Offensive, yes. And TRYING SO HARD too. She needn’t try so hard to offend us. She could have stopped at those ridiculous Grillz. We are witnessing her acting as the author of her own demise. Start your marginalisation stopwatches now.

  22. DavidBowie says:

    One word for Madonna…pathetic.

  23. msw says:

    Dammit. I hate it when supposedly progressive people say crap like thus, but after callously throwing out the n word um not surprised.

  24. melodycalder says:

    Its completely intentional to get people talking about her……. She will just laugh it off or create excuses if the backlash is too severe. Any press is good press for a has been. Pathetic

  25. LilyT says:

    I find her face more offensive.

  26. Rhiley says:

    The first word that popped into my head when I saw the picture of her in the hat and grill was “Malachi” (she looks like that creepy Isaac kid from Children of the Corn (the original not the remake)).

  27. Jules says:

    I am so glad she turned her back on Detroit, because we really don’t want to acknowledge her existence as well.

  28. decorative item says:

    Am I the only one who finds it odd that that a fifty something woman would spend so much time dressing up? Why doesn’t she know that she should be humiliated? I’m calling Cindy Lauper, she should be able to sort this out.

  29. LilyT says:

    It probably took a team of skilled assistants to reassemble her face after she winked like that.

  30. Allie says:

    I dislike her. And wish she would quietly retire. That is all.

  31. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    Madonna Louise Veronica
    worse than Kesha, Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera put togetha!
    what has become of your generation? MS Ciccone the botox now your tether
    a Miley Cyrus wanna be I thought you’d be retired a mentor someone who is better
    than this
    and it isn’t even a gigantic diss
    it is more that something is amiss

    When I was a young and dancing teenage girl
    your strength and independence really shaped and rocked the world
    seeing you as you grow old, I never expected that this is the story that would be told

    I thought you’d retire, If I was Donald trump I’d say
    you’re fired
    but who am I to say that you could have retired
    happily into obscurity
    and been rememberd as an icon
    rather than a fifty something fltting about with no pants on

    its no good for Miley and its no good for you
    and no longer music its some kind of spew
    this is so not how I envisoned thee
    when I was a young and dancing teenage girl
    and remember the times when you rocked the world

    Is it really so bad to have wrinkles on your face
    is this what sucess is in the human race?
    I’m pouffing up whats left of my hair now
    and dancing to Material girl.
    Remembering when Madonna was cool.

  32. Artemis says:

    Lmao at the hypocricy of people. Using ‘gay’ as a slur is not cool yet using her age to put her in her place is? Both are messed up.

    Any adult (let’s say 18+ but more realistically, 21+) who still uses ‘gay’ to insult something or someone is juvenile and pathetic. I don’t how smart or dumb you are, if ‘gay’ is in your vocabulary to express your opinion about things you don’t like, you have the mental age of a 13-year-old. Grow up.

    Madonna is a prime example of intelligent people (high IQ, overachiever and highly knowledgeable) proving that stupidity and insensitivity is often a choice. At least dumb people are expected to say crap like this, their ignorance ‘excuses’ them. It pains me that even smart people set the bar so low, there is no excuse for them.

    I’m glad I jumped off the Madonna-bandwagon (n-word controversy). I was late but rather late than never. I always wonder if Ritchie already saw what we see now. Or if she became that way after her divorce and turning 50. There is something ‘bitter’ about her. Her personality was always quite extreme but I’m pretty sure 25+ yo old Madonna would dislike of 50+ yo Madonna because there was integrity and purpose in her early life.

  33. Artemis says:

    Btw, I think that picture is from the COAD-era because I recognise the dress and her hair-game was Farrah Fawcett on point. She looked great back then. Her last great era, I don’t think she could recreate that look so well 9 years later.

  34. Vanderhootchie says:

    Her very existence is offensive.

  35. Nance says:

    I love love her music, but I can’t stand her personnality, I’ve just re-saw the movie Truth or Dare and I really found her fake / supercifial, but maybe it was the point I don’t know. Pre-fame Antonio Banderas is in this, I didn’t remember him!

  36. poppy says:

    does she hate kale because of goop? is that what the falling out was over?

  37. JLM says:

    I think Madonna stopped growing emotionally at around age 15, but I’m really not seeing the controversy about this. I know that saying something is “so gay” to mean “lame” is wrong, but in this instance, I took it more to mean “gay people like kale”, similar to “stuff white people like” lists. I told my gay realtor that I liked his shoes (brown shoes with periwinkle laces) and he said “so gay, right?” Madge is obviously not homophobic,nor is my realtor. Much ado about nothing, in my opinion.

  38. daisyfly says:

    There are women who use their age to empower themselves. There are women who use their sexuality to empower themselves. There are women who use their social or business positions to empower themselves.

    And then there’s Madonna, who uses empowerment to debase herself and others.

    Oy vey.

  39. Inconceivable! says:

    Madonna was cool in the 80′s but she should have drifted off into obscurity after that. She is now a has-been, wanna-be, and tries way too hard to be hip, cool & edgy. She’s just an old lady trying to relive her glory days. Yuck.

  40. Nudgie says:

    ALL of you are making her RELEVENT.

    STOP IT.

  41. erinn says:

    “She’ll do anything for attention, which is sad. Madonna could be acting like a dignified and empowered woman, but that’s no fun.”

    This. Just silly and desperate now.

  42. Ginger says:

    Using the term “Gay” casually is definitely offensive IMO. She gets no passes from me as she is 10 years my senior and should definitely know better!

  43. The Original G says:

    If I wanted to give Madonna the benefit of the doubt, I might say that she thinks she’s pioneering some post racist, post sexist, post homophobic expression that proves that these words no longer pack any cultural or social effect. They’re just words and we’ve disarmed them of their negative power.

    Or, she might be staying up nights trying to out-rachet Miss Miley Cyrus.

  44. littlestar says:

    HOLY F*CK, she can’t even wink properly her face is so jacked up with botox.

    Madonna is an irrelevant fool. This latest reinvention of herself is just plain old sad.

  45. cro-girl says:

    Here are my thoughts:

    1. I was born in the 80′s so I’m of that generation where we described things we didn’t like as ‘gay’ and never once did my little teen brain never equate that to actual gay people. It certainly wasn’t my intention to insult gay people when I chose that word.

    2. I wouldn’t say it now because it’s kind of juvenile and offensive.

    3. Is it a big deal that Madonna used it? Not really. I’m pretty sure she isnt a closet homophobe just waiting to attack whenever she hears the word kale.

    4. Should she have used it? No, she’s Madonna for pete’s sake. If you want to be in the public eye you have to censor yourself.

    5. Who cares if she is 50 and wears a grill or dresses like a bunny. Its ridiculous but her age has nothing to do with it. We aren’t allowed to slut shame, aren’t allowed to use the word gay, we must constantly scrutinize ourselves to see if we are promoting rape culture etc… but a fifty year old woman isn’t allowed to wear that stuff without being called desperate or a try hard? This is Madonna, this is nothing new for her… did anyone think she’d take a bow, put on a bra and give a princess wave to the world once she hit middle age?

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      1. I’m older than you, so will just take your word for it. (In my youth, that was a deliberate insult, so it’s hard for me to “unsee” that)
      2-3. agree
      4. Strongly agree.
      5. It’s hard to explain, but it’s not her age that bothers me. I mean Cher still dresses like Cher and that doesn’t bother me, in fact, I like it. Go Cher. It’s that she seems so desperate to stay the same, to be one of the young people, that she’s not being herself. She used to set the trends in her own way. Now she just grabs onto whatever she thinks is cool, like the grills and the hats. I’m not finding the right words, but it’s like she’s lost her power, and she used to be so powerful. She’s not young anymore, and heaven knows, neither am I, but it’s not as if she’s using all of her incredible past to keep moving forward and evolving into someone better and more Madonna than ever. She seems ashamed of aging, embarrassed by it, in deep denial of it. Desperate. And I think that’s why people are cringing for her. Have you ever known a gorgeous woman who just couldn’t accept aging, and that she was still beautiful but in a new way? And she still dressed like she was 25 and got all tweaked and pulled and seemed utterly miserable, as opposed to a woman who aged gracefully and dressed cool, but not 25, and had it together and seemed serene, and you just think, wow, I don’t care if she’s 55, she’s gorgeous! It’s kind of like that, to me, anyway.

      • ITA, Goodnames.
        So we’re not supposed to mention her age now because that’s “ageist”?
        We call out Real Housewives for acting like overgrown teenagers and refusing to age gracefully but Madonna is suddenly off-limits?
        No.

      • FingerBinger says:

        Madonna’s appropriation of trends and even other cultures is nothing new. She got ‘Vogue’ from the underground gay clubs. She was into Japanese and Spanish cultures for awhile. She’s experimented with rap, techno, R&B etc. Also, Madonna has always latched onto other popular singers. She did a duet with Prince when he was at his most popular. She did a duet with Missy Elliot, Britney Spears, and Ricky Martin. That’s part of what she does.

    • Jayna says:

      I didn’t like it when she went in and out of her British accent in interviews. She was never like that in concert. But I adored Madonna in her 2004 concert and her 2006 concert. I was in awe of her on stage and she was so cool, still pushed buttons in her own way, but gorgeous and a woman, not trying to compete with the pop princesses in her concerts. This interview in 2004 is shocking looking at her now, talking about everyone takes their clothes off and what purpose does it serve and saying she was an exhibitionist and was evolving. And her old face was there, so interesting, not that pillow face. Looking so pretty in her 40s. But what she is saying in this interview is shocking when you see how she is acting now, beyond shocking actually, a total contradiction to what she is now. She was looking inward in her 40s. Now she seems so desperate now. I have never agreed with everything Madonna does, but I always was intrigued by her, fascinated by her. Not at all anymore. I always get sad when I see her old face. Why did she get those cheek implants and lots of filler?

      2004 interview with Cynthia McFadden. Madonna at 45.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGvvFMHr_o

      • Jayna says:

        Oops. This is more of the interview. Parts repeat for some reason, but she seemed so more much centered even talking about her family and marriage at the end of this portion. She hit 50 and got divorced and that’s when the plastic surgery began happening and boy toys and the last couple of years just nothing too likable about her. Plus her music sucks the last album except for Masterpiece and a couple other songs.

        Part 1.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll-Lax1gfrc

  46. Sara says:

    Yes, using the word with a negative connotation makes it offensive. So that would make Madonna pretty ignorant to the struggles of minorities. Why am I not surprised?

  47. Jaded says:

    Everything she does and says is calculated to deliberately shock, offend, piss off and generally insult everyone. It’s the only way she’s managed to sustain herself in the spotlight as her talent is minimal at best and waning. She got to where she is (was) by appropriation of other music styles, musicians, dance moves and silly trends like grills. What she does have is limitless drive and ambition to be famous.

    “A drop of talent in an ocean of ambition” as George Harrison described her.

  48. jwoolman says:

    When I was a kid, gay just meant really happy and carefree (as in the play “Our Hearts Were Young and Gay”). Maybe that’s how Madonna meant it. For kale, the happy and carefree green. Well, baby kale really is tasty raw. Not sure I would consider Putin happy and carefree, though. It would be delightful to find out he’s gay in the modern sense. Not at all impossible and would explain his obsession as deflection.

  49. Shelley says:

    You know what horrifies me? The political correctness of the Twitter “generation”. Lighten up, folks. Madonna’s not perfect, but neither are you. Your comments say more about you than they do about Madonna.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Is it really ok with you that she calls her son the N word and says kale is gay? I mean, why say that? It hurts people’s feelings. Maybe you think it shouldn’t, but it does. So why not use another word? Is that so hard?

    • Olenna says:

      Madonna may not be perfect, but she should be pretty damn near close to it when it comes to presenting herself to the public. She’s too old not to know this crap reflects poorly on her as a parent and icon to people who have supported her and made her millions over the years. It’s time for her take her tired “gristle and bone” body back to the house and retire.

  50. Skye says:

    oh, Grandma. you’re so bad!

  51. melain says:

    Well you’re right Behead. She could be acting like an empowered and dignified woman. But it would be ACTING, since she’s neither. Most of the time she appears to be acting like Miley Cyrus. Just waiting for her to stick her tongue out while winking.

  52. Mena says:

    I am just as sick of people using old as an insult as I am of the N word and using gay as an insult. It’s wrong. Madonna is not old, she is only 55. She is ridiculous and attention seeking, but she is not old or a hag or a grandma. It’s so messed up and hypocritical. All you young ones are going to hit 50 one dayand it will hurt to be called old in a rude and disrespectful manner. Just as much as it hurts to use the word gay in a callous manner. I am not old by the way, but I work with seniors at times and I despise when their age is used against them

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Mena
      How lucky are the seniors you work with! I’m 56, and many times on this site, people are referred to as “old” when they’re not. It doesn’t bother me on a personal level because I remember being 21 and worrying that my 26 year old boyfriend was too old. It’s just a matter of perspective, and I know these people will blink and they’ll be 50 and hopefully will have grown. I do completely agree with you about using age as an insult, though, and that does bother me, and I agree it’s ignorant and callous as all name calling is. I think Madonna brings a lot of it on herself, but that’s not an excuse to be hateful.

  53. kiyoshigirl says:

    Madonna slowly fell apart after she realized she couldn’t transition from a vocal singer/dancer into an actor. She desperately wanted to succeed in acting and went so far as to marry a man she thought could help make it happen. It didn’t. It kills her knowing that her life’s glory lies in the past and not the future. Had she any talent for acting she could have entered middle life gracefully by taking character driven parts that allowed her to express her creative and artistic side. Now she’s lost. Just goes to show that even all the success and money in the world cannot buy peace of mind for a narcissist who can’t translate their dreams and desires into reality.

    • Jayna says:

      Well, to give her credit, she wasn’t lost laying around. She spent several years after hitting her 50s working on her movie W.E. about Edward and Wallis, writing the screenplay with a friend, developing it, getting a studio to produce it and then directed it and then tirelessly promoted it in 2011 when it came out before rushing back into the studio to do her contractually required album and then tour most of 2012, which was the highest grossing of the year for a solo artist. She had directed another independent movie a few years before that which wasn’t that good but it was a first-time effort. The second movie, W.E., was okay, not bad at all for a home movie, but it was visually beautiful the way it was shot and the period scenes. She definitely has an eye for that. She just announced she has another movie deal and will direct again. She is currently working on her latest album and is halfway through.

      She did want to be an actress and never was great, was decent in a few movies, bad in others. But I did admire that she in her 50s was directing. Most would have such a fear of failure.

  54. Danskins says:

    I really wish she would take her seasoned self and have 3 seats somewhere.

  55. Nudgie says:

    Couldn’t you just have shortened the headline to “Madonna: Offensive?

  56. LAK says:

    Attention seeking as always. This is classic Madonna. As she’s now ‘down’ with the kids, YO! She’s using the term ‘gay’ the way the kids are using it.

  57. John says:

    No, just lame and immature, very schoolyard. She was such a force in her time, too bad she didn’t use her fame and her daughter as a guide to showing us how to aging gracefully instead of as a motivator to desperately cling to relevance. She’s destroying her own legacy.

  58. LaurieH says:

    Age has not been kind to Madonna. I don’t mean that in terms of her looks; she looks great, if not a bit too sinewy. But emotionally, she has shown an utter lack of grace and dignity – or perhaps awareness – of the aging process. I can sympathize, to some degree. It is hard. Especially in this day and age; it is different from generations past. Much different. For our younger readers here, I will explain:

    I just turned 50. I can swear – SWEAR – I was just 19 yesterday. I can’t get over how time flies. It is freaky. The older you get, the faster time goes because you become increasingly aware that you have an increasingly limited amount of it left. Inside, you still feel young. You still like many of the same things; the same music, the same clothes, the same food, etc…. Bt then you realize you’re body can’t take it anymore. You can’t drink as much as you used to. All sorts of foods start giving you indigestion. You exercise more, eat less and still gain weight. Your hair changes, your skin changes. Things start falling out and falling down. You catch yourself in a shop lusting over an article of clothing and then a little voice pops into your head saying that you’re too old to wear it; you’d look ridiculous and desperate – even if you can still fit in it. You have to change your makeuo because your skin loses it’s color and elasticity. Makeup that made you look fab in your 30′s starts to make you look older and tired. Hair color is hard to figure out: too dark looks harsh; too light washes you out. The greys just keep coming.

    If you can’t handle it or don’t want to handle it and you’ve got the money, you can do what Madonna does and try fighting Father Time with plastic surgery. I often think it makes women look older; because you know their doing it in a desperate attempt to pass themselves off as younger. I suppose you can change the book cover, but it doesn’t change the words inside.

    Then – if you’re lucky (and I am) – you have this epiphany that the jig is up. Youth has left you. But that doesn’t mean you have nothing. You start to concentrate on the things that the young do not yet have; wisdom, experience and a kind of beauty that comes from having traveled so far. You become the mentor to the younger women; preparing them for what is to come so they don’t end up like Madonna. You learn that the “life is short” cliche is no cliche at all. It is true. In fact, you learn that everything your elders told you is true: education is important; taking risks while you’re young is important. Don’t waste your time on the frivolous. Don’t sweat the small stuff. My father used to say “life is far too important to take seriously” – in other words, don’t get caught up in the drama or the trivial. Take everything as a learning experience, file it away and move on. There is always more, until there is no more. Be who YOU are, not what others want or expect you to be – and never apologize for it. If people disagree with you or believe differently than you, it’s their job to deal with it. It’s not your job to conform. Don’t get to the end of your life and realized you sold out your conscience for the illusion of acceptance.

    As I’ve said before: with age comes wisdom. That means walking into a department store, walking straight past the makeup counter because you know those lotions n’ potions don’t work – and head straight for the handbags.

    • jojo says:

      In all sincerity, that deserves a real slow clap Laurie – not an ironic one! :)

      I’ve been aging (in my mid thrities) and have just started with these struggles, and have projected what the future will be like. Your words have captured the images in my head like none other. Someone needs to make some a film that captures the oddness of being an aging woman that reflects this, our reality. Its something that doesn’t really get addressed in society. The transition is sort of seen as inevitable and comical and the losses and the difficulties one faces when confronted with these changes haven’t been expressed in a sufficiently serious manner. One can say who cares, these all regard superficial aspects, but it touches on sexuality which we have evolved to value – good sex matters, and the threat of losing it, and love/joy it can help to nourish, is not a joke.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      LaurieH
      I’m 56 and I second everything you just said so beautifully. 50 was hard for me, because it’s such a turning point for anyone and in my case, several people I loved very much from the generation before me died within two years. I felt as if my life was going to become a long series of painful goodbyes to loved ones, to the “me” I was before, to my life as I knew it. That’s when the choice you’re talking about becomes clear, and you realize how short and how precious is the time we have here, and how tragic it would be to waste it. How those little lines appearing around your eyes and mouth come from the joy of laughter or the pain of tears that helped you grow. And how beautiful it is to stand in your own power and wisdom as long as you know you still have so much more to learn. It’s exciting again, for all different reasons. Not the least of which – you can finally afford those handbags. Nice to meet you.

    • kri says:

      I know I’m late on this, LaurieH-but really that was an excellent post. Thank you.

    • hmmm says:

      Beautiful, wise, and spot on!

    • KateBush says:

      Awesome post Laurie. I’m 42 and can identify with everything you said. I’m trying to embrace me ‘the woman’ and leave the girl behind. It is bittersweet :)

    • melain says:

      Well and truly said Laurie. Thanks.

    • Suzanneg444 says:

      Love that last line about the handbags…absolutely the BEST thing on the planet when you can no longer admire yourself in the full length mirrors on the way to the handbag department!

    • Sojourner says:

      Thank you LaurieH. So concrete and moving. I’m 34, and I think about age constantly. It is always at the back (or front) of my mind. Mine and that of my parents, whom I love and don’t want to suffer.

  59. Marianne says:

    It is offensive. She is basically saying Kale is “gross” and therefore she is appropriating being gay or gayness to being gross.

    I’m shocked she would do this considering how big of a gay fanbase she has. Then again, its Madonna and she’s is super desperate these days.

  60. mjp says:

    Seems like the freedom of speech has gone by the wayside. No one seems to be stepping up either, just saying! Almost can’t speak because everyone that has time on their hands, or money in their pockets, is offended about this that or the other. What happened to boycotting when we don’t agree. Don’t buy the records, don’t go to the concerts, and doing things in a quite rebellion. When the folks in the 60′s did not take the bus and the bus companies lost money, things changed, just saying. And Johnny Depp has what to do with Madonna! Are they dating?????? I don’t think so, but maybe I am out of the loop!

    Just adding I don’t agree with using these particular terms in an offensive manner, however it does give people free air time doesn’t it! Why play the game folks! Advertisement is so expensive and people are finding a way to put the advertising moguls out of business.

    Possibly offensive language users want you to know their IQ.?

  61. Go says:

    This article is Gay. It’s just a word that meant happy or cheery and now it means people that are attracted to the same sex. I’m not offended and I’m Gay.