'09
John Mayer was interviewed by the New York Times this weekend, but I only saw the interview because Gawker had a story about it called “All John Mayer Interviews Now Lead to the Same Conclusion: He’s (Probably) a Date Rapist.” Gawker even pulls quotes from last month’s infamous New York Magazine interview with Mayer where he acted like a f-cking douche and ended the interview saying “I’m going to forcefully sodomize your editor.” Yeah. Is this particularly “date-rapey”? Not really. I would classify this as “dumb douche who thinks he’s clever makes a stupid joke in an attempt to funny”.
Anyway, onto the NYT interview. Mayer doesn’t come across as badly as the other piece, but he still sounds like a piece of work (to me). I guess some girls go for his shtick, but he gives me a headache. I just feel like he’s trying too hard. Like everything he does screams “preening”. Here are some of the highlights from the piece (full NYT article here):
“I should be having sex with more girls.” This is what John Mayer concluded, using slightly more colorful language, last Sunday night at his anonymously modern apartment in SoHo.
They’re everywhere, after all, and Mr. Mayer has not been unwilling in the past. But the last couple of years, full of tabloids and TMZ, have taken their toll.
“It’s crazy to me that in my head, that being 32 and dating women is going to get me in trouble,” he said, talking faster as he went along. “I can’t even explain to you how terrible that feels, that I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution. It’s a nightmare.”
Being an ambivalent, self-aware heartthrob has its downsides, it turns out, and Mr. Mayer, who in his day job is one of the most popular soft-rock singers of the last decade, isn’t shy about sharing them. In the three years since his last album, the double-platinum “Continuum” (Columbia), was released, he’s become a demiceleb of the tabloid world, as well known for his arm candy — Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston — and his tests of will with the media as for his music. But now it’s music time again, right?
If Mr. Mayer has successfully put his cynicism about women and romance into one album, then “Battle Studies” (Columbia), released on Tuesday, is it — “one record about one thing,” Mr. Mayer said. It’s claustrophobic and, for him, somewhat dark. Most of the songs are skeptical about love, and about lovers, and about anyone looking and passing judgment from the outside in.”
“There’s nothing I’ve done musically that’s been a wild misstep,” he said. “Basically, you’re saying, can you risk failure? And that’s something that I’m struggling with right now, because in my life, I would like to do something in music that risks a misstep.”
“I’m too young to be that dependable,” he continued. “I don’t want to be that dependable. Something pendulous has to happen. If I’m as self-aware as I say I am, then I would probably know that pretty soon, there’s going to have to be a wrench thrown somewhere so that the momentum keeps moving forward.”
It’s hard to listen to [Mayer’s fourth album] “Battle Studies” without wondering: This is the same person who delivered a homily about ending his relationship with Ms. Aniston on a New York street corner in front of a TMZ camera? Who (jokingly, he insists) tussled with a reporter for New York magazine’s Web site, nymag.com, resulting in a piece headlined “John Mayer Threatens to Sodomize Us”?
“What is the odd man out,” he said, “is it the record or the coverage? I’m not going to let it be the record. I think if you’re listening to ‘Battle Studies’ and you think it’s a record about high-profile relationships, I haven’t done a good enough job.”
“They say I’m a womanizer,” he complained. “I say I haven’t met enough women.”
[From The New York Times]
There’s a lot of stuff about John’s new album and the writer claims Mayer is “one of the most technically skilled guitar players of the day” but I found the most interesting quotes to be about Mayer’s personal stuff, of course. The quote “I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution” is really telling, isn’t it? For some reason, I don’t think Mayer was talking out of his ass on that one. I really do think he’s a self-loathing closet case. And I think he’s a misogynist, for real. I think he hates women very passionately. But that’s just my take.
John Mayer outside the Ed Sullivan Theater for the ‘Late Show With David Letterman’ on November 19, 2009. Credit: WENN
Written by Kaiser
Posted in John Mayer
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15 Responses to “John Mayer: “I equate dating with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment””
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so do the women you date
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It’s just too easy to say the women who have dated him probably feel the same way about guilt, shame and punishment. Although Teri, I completely agree, going out with him must be a form of torture. I doubt he is the one who always does the dumping. I think that’s wishful thinking on his part. I’m sure the fact that he’s probably great in bed (according to ‘people in the know’, whatever that means) but I bet even that gets old after awhile. Having to listen to him drone on about himself constantly.
This dude just needs to stop talking. Every time he opens his mouth I feel like I’m being punished. And I’ve never even met the douche. I can’t even say I love the thought of him at this point.
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Teri pretty much summed up what I was going to say.
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@Teri - my thoughts exactly.
@Kaiser - I think your analysis of him in the last paragraph is spot on.
Y’know, if it wasn’t for his tramping around I don’t think he’d be half as famous as he is. I’ve managed to only passively hear ONE song of his in the past few years (that Waiting on the World to Change song, if that’s even his. It’s the only one I can attribute to him. And you can be sure I’m not actively looking to hear any of his “sensitive rocker” schlock). You can’t turn on the radio without hearing Lady Gaga and co. So is he really that popular or successful?
EDIT - @ Charity, is Megan Fox the female John Mayer? Only without any discernable talent of course
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he is intellectually pretentious and takes himself way too seriously.
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I gave away my 2 John Mayer CD’s because I couldn’t listen to the hypocritical a**hole pontificate any more.
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I equate John Mayer with Summer’s Eve!
John, please just STFU for a while and go back to entertaining us with your musical talent instead of your over-inflated sense of self.
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This guy is so unappealing to me, I don’t see the attraction.
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I used to like 2 of his songs - but he seems like such a jerk its making me not like those songs. Seriously…dating is not f######.
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My husband went to school with John - and he loathes the douchetard. Apparently he was a real snob in school- he looked down on poor people- ugly girls and pot smokers….and he really wasn’t too friendly with other musicians in high school either. He was a rich kid (those stories about him being poor are total lies) He grew up on greenfield hill which is the most affluent area in his hometown..took himself way too seriously and lacked any sense of humor.. He is definitely a head case- and quite possibly a closet case as well.
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this guy is so beyond assholism, I cannot even listen to his CD’s anymore.
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So he’s experienced two levels of dating: One is very casual sex, and the other is real relationships.
Sounds like the relationships have been painful, and that fame has made them more complicated. It must be intimidating to have the papparazzi follow you out on dates, and have your relationships wind up in the headlines or on some magazine cover. What a nightmare.
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o.k. I’m gonna do it…[deep breath]I love John Mayer.This man is so talented from writing songs,to impersonating voices,to his guitar playing skills.I will agree that his douche worthy behavior is out of control and he seems stuck on himself and like a player,but I dont care whos heart he breaks,it’s not mine.I just love his music,its emotional.
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My girlfriend is so infatuated with this douche and has been so for years and I just don’t know why. His music is bad not because of his talent on the guitar but his lyrics are nonsensical and lack substance. When I try to listen I feel like he is making up what he is saying, I feel like he bases the words on events that have not happened to him personally and emotions that he does not really feel. Its all so generic.
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I think that Mayer is forever caught up in an epic battle of persona vs. self. He’s been able to build his career as the artistically sensitive ladies man, and I think that it betrays a more rebellious and licentious nature. It’s just that the shit is beginning to hit the fan as his personal truth begins to surface. It’s about time. I was wondering when women were going to get over his empathetic posturing, because he is obviously battling his personal demons and is in no position to live up to his image. Like his song says, “Who do you love? Me or the thought of me.” There will be more of this to come and it won’t be pretty.
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