In less-than-shocking news, Amy Winehouse has been arrested. No, not for harboring 29 different kinds of drugs in her system, but for involvement in husband Blake Fielder-Civil’s court case for perverting the course of justice. Fielder-Civil beat up a bartender last June, and was arrested. He was let out on bail before he was re-arrested and held for perverting the course of justice, which is similar to witness tampering in US legalese. While it’s no clear what Amy’s involvement was, it was enough to arrest her. Unlike her husband, she was let out on bail.

Amy Winehouse was arrested, and later released, on Monday in London in connection with an alleged plan to derail a criminal case against her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. “A 24-year-old woman has been arrested by appointment at an East London police station,” police tell PEOPLE. “She is currently in custody. The arrest was in connection with an investigation into perverting the course of justice.”

Winehouse’s U.S. rep tells PEOPLE: “I can confirm that she did go in voluntarily to be interviewed and was placed under arrest, as is common practice in the U.K., before being questioned. The singer was released after being questioned, her rep says. As is British custom, police do not name people who are arrested – only if they are later charged with a crime.

Winehouse was forced to give fingerprints and a saliva swab to police. “Any person arrested is required to give both DNA and fingerprints,” says the spokeswoman.

[From People]

It will be interesting to see if Amy ends up being charged with a crime. Considering the codependent relationship she has with Blake, it would be truly shocking to me if he committed a crime and she had no knowledge about it. I know this sounds horrible, but it might do Amy some good to spend a little time in jail. I’d prefer she go to rehab, it’s better than nothing. I know you can easily get drugs in jail, but I’d guess they’d keep a pretty close eye on her, and maybe have her completely segregated from the rest of the population. Maybe it’d be the impetus to get her to change her life around.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header of Amy on an early morning shopping spree for lucozade from a kebab shop on December 10th. Images thanks to WENN.

There are a lot of significant differences between British and American English. A few are funny and lead to amusing/embarrassing anecdotes about when you accidentally told someone to light a gay person on fire and stick them in your mouth, or someone asked you where the lift was and you offered to pick them up. Things like that. Then there are the rare words that you don’t even realize mean two completely different things, because it doesn’t come up a lot. Along the lines of fag = cigarette, lift = elevator, it turns out that style = emaciated crack whore. Victoria Beckham has said that she loves Amy Winehouse’s “sense of style.” Clearly something was lost in translation.

International fashion icon Victoria Beckham, 33 loves struggling Soul singer Amy Winehouse, 24, and her ‘unique’ sense of style. Posh says: “She has a real sense of style that I just love. She’s very much a fashion icon and I adore what she wears. She’s so unique and original.”

Victoria also admits she and husband David are both fans of the ‘Rehab’ singer’s music. Posh adds: “I’ve never met her but I just love her music, I’ve always got it on at home with David and the children. She’s an amazing singer.”

[From Wicked Youth]

Posh and Amy actually have very similar body shapes. Posh got hers through her legendary sushi and oxygen diet, whereas Amy’s came about from the slightly tougher meth, beer, and blood diet. Both require strict adherence to some pretty unhealthy rules, but if you really stick with it, you can whittle your 5’3 body down to 81 pounds. And it seems like that’s the only real requirement in the Victoria Beckham style school. Amy Winehouse is just one pair of rigidly round implants away from marrying David Beckham. If I were Posh, I wouldn’t admire Amy, I’d be wary of the competition.

There are some awards in Hollywood that everyone is always clamoring to win: Emmys, Grammys… SAG awards. Then there are some awards people don’t care about either way. The Blockbuster awards… the Nickelodeon awards… VH-1 Honors, crap like that. And then there’s the awards you almost don’t want to win, like cleanest female celebrity award. Which is certainly better than being voted the dirtiest celebrity, but it’s still such a weirdly specific honor that it’s hard to know how to respond appropriately. Jessica Biel has won the title of cleanest celebrity, as voted by SoCal Cleanse Detox users. I know, the greatest prestige. I’m guessing most of the voters didn’t stop to think that Biel is dating Justin Timberlake, who used to date Britney Spears. So the odds are pretty good that Jessica is now harboring at least three unique strains of Chlamydia – through no fault of her own, of course.

Jessica Biel has been voted the “cleanest” female celebrity. ‘The Illusionist’ actress and girlfriend of Justin Timberlake was named the most healthy-living star by SoCal Cleanse Detox users, while Amy Winehouse was voted the “dirtiest” and most unhealthy. While Jessica, 26, walked away with the SoCal Cleanse Cleanest Celebrity Award for the women, David Beckham won the award for the healthiest male star.

Pamela Anderson’s rocker ex-husband Tommy Lee was voted “dirtiest” male, with 45 percent of the vote, and recovering alcoholic David Hasselhoff was chosen as the second unhealthiest celebrity with 22 percent of the vote. ‘Rehab’ singer Amy, 23, who is currently battling drink and drug addiction received a huge 47 percent of the vote to be chosen as the most unhealthy female star.

She has won the offer of a 12-month supply of SoCal Cleanse Detox Formula - a detox supplement - and a Detox Lifestyle Makeover with Detox and Fitness Expert Cynthia Lea.

[From AZ Central]

Something makes me think that Amy Winehouse probably won’t be taking them up on their offer. I think it’s an anathema to even say the words “Amy Winehouse” and “detox” in the same sentence. Ironically, it’s probably the celebs voted “the cleanest” that are most likely to avail themselves of a detox. In the last year I have done three colon cleanses and one two week detox. Amy Winehouse may have the guts to stick needles in her arm and have a tube shoved down her throat, but there’s no way she’s strong enough to endure day 3 of the Colon Blow regimen.

Amy Winehouse has been a bit of a mess lately, running around London in her underwear - it’s winter in the northern hemisphere! - and climbing under her fence for some unknown reason. She looked better “sleepwalking” than she looked a few weeks ago after a fight with her husband Blake Fielder-Civil that left her bloodied and bruised. She’s also canceled her tour because she can’t live without her darling Blake, who’s in prison on conspiracy charges. Fortunately she’s not lonely because Pete Doherty has visited, and I doubt it was to stage an intervention.

So there’s no surprise that perhaps she’s been avoiding her mother’s calls, and Janis Winehouse has had to resort to an open letter in London’s Sunday tabloids to contact her daughter.

Dear Amy,

I hope you understand why I’m writing this. We have spoken recently but many people will wonder why I haven’t run down to whatever hotel you’re staying in, scooped you up and taken you home for a hot bath and a steaming bowl of chicken soup.

It’s because your father and I know what you’re like, Amy.

We want to help you, but we know that unless you want to be helped— unless you come to us—anything we tried would be in vain.

So this letter is my way of making sure that you know that—that all you have to do is come to us, Amy, and we’ll do everything in our power to get you well again.

After all, you are still my baby and you always will be.

I pile hope upon hope that you will make that decision, Amy, and your strong will can bend for just a moment to make that decision and come home to me.

Strong
Even when you were only a rosy-cheeked five-year-old singing into a hairbrush in front of the mirror, you had a will as stubborn as a mule. Do you remember?

We couldn’t ever get you to see things from any angle other than your own. You could swear day was night and Heaven help anyone who tried to disagree.

You were never a wayward daughter but you always had a strong will and a mind of your own—qualities your father and I were so proud of.

You were well brought up, you had a keen sense of right from wrong and you understood the values we always impressed on you as a family.

But you would never be pressurised or influenced into doing something if your heart wasn’t in it.

I know there’s no point in me ringing you, fussing over you or ordering you to do something. I need you to take that first step, darling. I need you to call me, to pick up that phone and tell me what’s troubling you.

Your father and I would like nothing more—wherever you are, whatever you need, we’re here for you day and night. I hope you know that. We were terrified after we saw those pictures of you earlier this week, wandering the freezing streets of London at dawn in your underwear. All I wanted to do was rush into those pictures and wrap you up in a big, warm blanket.

Do you remember those Decembers long ago when I used to swaddle you in a thick winter coat? I used to wrap you up and give you a kiss on the nose before you went out to play in the cold.

“Don’t worry about me Ma, I’ll be fine!” you used to laugh. But, like any mother, of course I worried. Just as I’m worrying now.

Because I know that however big, grown-up and successful my Amy gets, she still needs the love of her Ma.

Do you remember on January 14 this year, when your album got to number one? Do you remember how overjoyed your father and I both were? We shed tears of joy for you that night.

And not just because we were delighted for your success, that you had finally fulfilled that childhood dream of singing your heart out in front of millions. But also because finally, the whole country thought our little girl was just as special as we knew you were.

Some wonderful things have happened since that night, darling, but also some not so wonderful. Blake, your husband, might not be my favourite person—you know that, Amy—but he’s your choice and I would never say anything about him to hurt you.

When I was quoted recently as saying “Thank God Blake’s inside” what I meant was that putting him in jail might help him to clean up HIS act and change HIS life.

It wasn’t said out of viciousness or to upset you. If your relationship is meant to be, it will survive.

I’m a great believer that everything in life happens for a reason, a purpose. And if you two are destined to be together forever, then so be it.

But I want you to love Blake for who he is, Amy. Not because you feel sorry for him, or because he can get you doped up. Not for any other reason than that you have respect for him.

I completely understand and sympathise with how you feel heartbroken over your separation and I’d do anything to help you end that unhappiness.

No mother likes to see her child suffering like that.

Having to cancel your tour, as well, has been very sad. But I know it’s happened for the best.

Despite disappointing all of your fans, who I know you treasure so much, maybe it will pull you up and make you stop and think and take stock of where your life is going.

I pray it does. I hope it makes you realise that although you might be a superstar, you’re not superwoman.

Early fame has overwhelmed you, it’s dizzied you and muddled your mind. For a moment, forget you’re a superstar. You’re also young and vulnerable. Remember you’re just an ordinary human being, no stronger than any of the rest of us. You think you’re strong enough to get through this on your own, darling, but you’re not.

I want you back, and I’ll make you fitter and stronger. I’d like nothing better than to have you home and help you put on a bit of weight with some wholesome home cooking.

You’re at your happiest in family situations, I remember. It’s part of that strong Jewish tradition you were raised in. Remember how you spent time with my sister before the gig in Newcastle the other week? You felt comfortable and at ease. That’s how I know family is important to you.

Destiny
But I can’t force you to do something you don’t want to. You have to want it to happen darling, you have to ask for it.

Me and your father, and your brother Alex all want you to be happy and quickly restored to full health. For the moment, that’s all of our priorities.
We are concerned, but we’re not panicking. You’ve got to see things in your own time and I’m sure you will.

You are a brilliant talent, of course, and if you get yourself well, you’ll be able to go on and fulfil your destiny.

You’re a true professional who thrives on work and you need to get back into that routine.

We know you don’t want to let your fans down. We know how important they are to you and how once you’re over this present setback you’ll give them a show they’ll never forget.

You know I’m an optimist, and that I think, with our help, you will get back on top of things.

But I know you must come to me first for that to happen.

I just hope that, because of this letter, you do. Pick up the phone.

All my love, Ma

News Of The World

I can see why Janis Winehouse felt she had to send this letter through the News of the World, Amy is probably so busy attempting to see through her insanity, she’s not going to read a long letter from her mum.

Actually, I like that this letter seems genuine and heartfelt, did some NOTW journalist give Ma Winehouse a hand? If it had been my mother she would have added a post script along the lines of “Amy, get yourself a new pair of shoes, those ballet slippers are filthy!”

Note by Celebitchy: To me it sounds like her mother is sending her this too-revealing letter through the press in order to let everyone know that she’s not responsible for Amy’s downward spiral and is doing everything she can to help her. It seems so important that her mother lets her know that she’s there for her, but this letter is potentially embarrassing and I know if I was going through a tough time and my mom aired some of our dirty laundry out like this I would be pissed. Let’s hope she takes her mom up on her offer, though. The girl seems to be barely hanging in there.

Amy Winehouse is shown shopping for junk to eat after visiting her husband in jail on 12/7/07. Thanks to Splash News for these pictures.

I really relish the Amy Winehouse stories. You always need that person who is so messed up that you look like a saint in comparison. I could be having the worst day of my life, but I can still say, “Hey, at least I didn’t snort some blow and then walk around through the streets of London in the snow with no pants and a thong on my forehead like Amy Winehouse.” Okay technically Winehouse hasn’t done that yet, but that’s probably only because it hasn’t snowed yet in London this year. Give it a few more months, and I guarantee you it’ll happen. Though it’ll probably also somehow involve her bloody ballet slippers.

On Wednesday, Amy got dressed up all purdy to visit her husband in jail. And by dressed up, I mean some kind of pink halter top, that now-infamous red push-up bra she was wandering around wearing on the street a few days ago, and a surprisingly well-coiffed beehive. Home only half an hour later, she was crying, looking disheveled, and had lost her keys. Despite the throng of paparazzi outside her home, Amy thought it smart to lay on her back on the wet street (still in the aforementioned halter top) and slide under the gate. Because what celebrity doesn’t do that now and again?

Lying on her back on a wet pavement and in a flood of tears troubled Amy Winehouse has certainly lost something. But on this occasion, however, the only thing the fallen star noticed was missing was the keys to her house. Amy, 24, today returned to the property she shared with locked-up husband Blake Fielder-Civil after moving out on Monday claiming it held “too many memories”.

After a 30-minute visit to the jailbird in London’s Pentonville Prison earlier this afternoon the crying jazz singer realised she had no way of getting in. However, never one to eschew drama, Amy decided the best way of getting inside would be to crawl under the courtyard gates. So, with the waiting crowd of paparazzi who have become a daily feature of her life, she lay down on the wet pavement and wriggled through.

The extraordinary gate scenes are the latest example of the star’s increasingly erratic behaviour recently. At 4.15am this morning she was pictured making a dash to a 24 hour store in Bow to pick up a giant box of ice pops.

[From the Daily Mail]

At what point does someone get declared legally insane in England? Because I’m pretty sure that – whatever that point is – Amy is well beyond it. I think she may be crazier than Britney Spears. She’s just not endangering the lives of innocent little children, thank God. Amy is so off her rocker that I can’t really tell if she’s trying to get attention, or is just so out of it that she doesn’t notice – or care – that the paparazzi is photographing her wandering around without shoes at two in the morning… which happened not once but several times last week. I hate to say it, but I’m starting to agree with what a lot of our commenters are saying… if she keeps this up, she’s not going to be around for much longer.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Amy right before she slid under her gate. You can see photos of her actually sliding under on the Daily Mail’s website. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

I have to give Amy Winehouse credit for one thing: she hired herself a PR rep. Maybe she’s always been around and just hasn’t been saying much, but an official person is now speaking on Amy’s behalf. Considering all the talking she, her family, and in-laws have done, it seems like a good idea to call in a pro.

Now just because someone hires a PR rep doesn’t mean that person will say anything the rest of us find remotely believable. But at least the person lies to us, which sort of amounts to some admission that Amy is doing things bad/weird/dangerous enough that they can’t be admitted to. On Sunday morning Amy was photographed outside in just her jeans and a red bra, wandering around and looking disheveled. No makeup, no beehive… I mean who the hell goes out without their beehive on? I don’t care that she forgot her shirt, but at least put on your 13 inches of hair. My God, the depravity. Well apparently, Amy wasn’t on a bender, coked out of her mind, or suffering some sort of complete mental breakdown. She was just sleepy and confused. If I had a nickel for each time I wandered around without a shirt because I was tired, I could retire. Maybe Amy should consider that.

“She was not on an all-night bender,” her U.K. rep tells PEOPLE of Winehouse’s appearance outside her flat at 5:45 a.m. Sunday morning. Winehouse, 24, was sound asleep when she heard a noise outside. Having had friends over earlier in the evening, she wondered if one returned, according to the rep, who said: “She heard all these noises, and she went outside to look and there were all these photographers.”

The rep added, “She’d been sound asleep, and then there were all these photographers – of course she looked startled.” British newspapers reported the singer – captured in photographs sans makeup and her trademark beehive – was “muttering incomprehensibly.”

Says her rep: “In light of recent reports, it’s easy to make assumptions, but she’s trying to get better and she needs the space to do that.”

[From People]

Um…. alright. Amy Winehouse was surprised to see photographers? I was under the impression that they follow her pretty much 24/7, considering all the odd things we’ve seen her do. It seemed like she pretty much couldn’t escape them, so she just decided to go about her drug-fueled existence pretending they weren’t there. And I know that everyone has their own sleeping patterns, and perhaps a deep sleeper wouldn’t be totally awake and rational, but I can’t imagine they wouldn’t remember to put their shirt on. And even if they did, one step out into London’s cold December air would likely wake them up pretty quickly. At which point a normal person would look down, see their ta-tas, gasp, clutch their hands over their chest, and skittle away. Unless they were on drugs. Then they’d probably keep wandering around, looking for that magic caterpillar that brought them the nice lunch yesterday.

At some point, when you just have catastrophe after catastrophe, I guess it makes sense to call it a day. That’s not really a great life motto, but I’d have to say that in Amy Winehouse’s case, it seems like a good idea. Now if she were calling it a day and heading into rehab, I’d actually swim on over to London to pat her on the back. But she’s decided to cancel her entire tour because she can’t handle life without her incarcerated husband/professional moocher Black Fielder-Civil.

Amy Winehouse has dramatically canceled the rest of her tour, saying she cannot perform “without my Blake”. A statement from her record company said she had canceled her performances on the instruction of her doctor. The cancellation comes after her performances became increasingly erratic. A statement issued on Tuesday night by Island Records said Winehouse, 24, had been told to deal with “health issues”.

The statement said: “Amy Winehouse has canceled all remaining live and promotional appearances for the remainder of the year on the instruction of her doctor. The rigors involved in touring and the intense emotional strain that Amy has been under in recent weeks have taken their toll. In the interests of her health and well-being, Amy has been ordered to take complete rest and deal with her health issues.”

Winehouse said: “I can’t give it my all on stage without my Blake. I’m so sorry but I don’t want to do the shows half-heartedly; I love singing. My husband is everything to me and without him it’s just not the same.”

[From the UK Press Association]

It’s odd ,most people would argue that she wasn’t even doing her shows halfheartedly when Blake WAS around. What the hell was left once he was gone? Amy had a few more pictures taken of her the other day with white stuff up her nose mixed with a bit of blood. She’s drinking and snorting on stage. At some point, can’t they just say, “Amy’s too coked up to sing?” Okay I realize they can’t, but instead of “health problems” or they always-classic “exhaustion” couldn’t they just say, “Amy’s dealing with substance abuse issues?” Probably not, because putting it that way implies that she’ll get help for it, which she won’t. It’s sad, being away from her addict husband is probably Amy’s best shot of getting her life together. But she’s so emotionally entrenched in their dramatic, abusive lifestyle that she obviously can’t see this is an opportunity.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Amy waiting outside the London Clinic for a taxi to pick her up on Tuesday. When she doesn’t find one, she wanders around the street in her ballet slippers for a bit. You’d think she’d be able to afford a driver. I looked up the London Clinic, and it’s a private hospital. Unfortunately their specialties don’t list anything that screams addiction treatment. Images thanks to WENN.

As a general rule, I think it’s mean to cherry pick pictures of celebrities to find the very worst ones. I mean if you had a thousand flashes going off in your face at once, of course there’s going to be some terrible pictures where you’re mid-blink or turning your head in a way that – when frozen on film – makes you look scary-ass. But from the photos taken of Amy Winehouse visiting her jailed husband Blake Fielder-Civil in lockup, it’s almost impossible to find a photo where she doesn’t look like a crazed lunatic. I’m not kidding, look here and here. She looks like a cartoon parody of herself. I’m not quite sure how she can make her jaw jut forward like a barracuda like that. I tried to get mine to do it and nearly dislocated the lower portion.

Amy was in attendance in court today as Blake was denied bail. He’s being held for witness tampering in his assault case. I don’t think the assault would have gotten him much time – it hardly got any press, considering how famous Amy is – but the witness tampering is pretty significant, and being denied bail means Blake will spend Christmas in jail.

Amy Winehouse wiped away tears as her incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil was denied bail today. Fielder-Civil, 25 – who is charged with conspiracy involving alleged witness tampering in his upcoming assault trial – will spend Christmas in jail awaiting a Jan. 18 hearing. Should his case go to trial, Judge David Robson said he was “penciling in early June.”

As he was led away, Fielder-Civil held his hand to his ear like a telephone and mouthed, “I’ll call you,” through the glass of the defendant’s box. Winehouse waved and blew him two kisses.

The troubled singer, 24, arrived at Snaresbrook Crown Court at 10:40 a.m., wearing a long-sleeved black minidress and a yellow scarf around her trademark beehive. Outside the court, police ushered away a crowd of about 30 women all dressed as the Winehouse.

[From People]

What an unusual way to show support. Dressing like Amy Winehouse. I’m guessing that would entail giant, natty, frizzy, behived hair, bloody ballet slippers, and track marks? I’m now curious to see what this court room looks like. There’s glass over the defendant’s box? I wonder if that’s common, or just because Blake Fielder-Civil has a lot of people who’d like to take him out?

Amy sat next to Blake’s brother and a few spots away from her mother in law Georgette, with whom she is (always) feuding. Georgette has a penchant for talking to the press about Amy’s problems instead of actually talking to Amy.

The “Back to Black” singer spoke briefly to her mother-in-law and to one of her husband’s lawyers, all the while checking for signs that Fielder-Civil himself was going to appear. When he finally did, just before 11 a.m., he was smiling and winking.

“I love you,” he mouthed to his wife, asking, “Are you all right?” She nodded.

Winehouse, who clutched the thick gold heart-and-anchor charms she wore around her neck as if they were a rosary, watched wide-eyed as the judge agreed to hear Fielder-Civil’s argument for bail in chambers because of the “intense scrutiny from the press.” The rest of the nearly two-hour hearing continued in private.

When the proceeding wrapped, at 12:30 p.m., a grim-looking Winehouse refused to speak to the press as she hopped into a car with blacked-out windows. She is scheduled to appear in concert at London’s Brixton Academy tonight.

[From People]

So I’m assuming that if he was denied bail, that means Blake Fielder-Civil could be in jail until that early June date if he’s denied again on January 18th. Let’s hope so. A good long while apart could do both of those co-dependent addicts a lot of good. Maybe enough good for one of them to get clean and lose the other.

Amy Winehouse is absolutely determined not to hide her drug habit – from anyone. For a moment I want you to look back over the course of history and think of the people who refused to hide something they were proud of. They displayed whatever it was for everyone to see, and eventually they forced the backwards-thinking world to accept that they were right. The gay couple who refused to hide their love… the interracial couple who refused to hide their love… and in Amy Winehouse’s case, the drug abuser who refused to hide her love… for crack. Amy Winehouse so obviously flaunts her drug use that one can only assume she’s actually trying to promote it. And apparently the United Nations agrees with me (as they often do).

Celebrities such a s Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss are glamorizing cocaine use and fueling problems in Africa, according to the UN’s drug chief. The Rehab singer, 24, and supermodel Moss, 33, were singled out by Antonio Maria Costa as he warned that drug use in Britain directly contributed to the ‘complete collapse’ of some West African countries where drug cartels corrupt vulnerable governments.

“Rock stars like Amy Winehouse become popular singing, ‘I ain’t going to rehab;. A sniff here and a sniff there in Europe are causing another disaster in Africa. Europeans now understand they should not buy blood diamonds, or clothes made in sweatshops. Yet with cocaine, the opposite occurs.”

Colombian drug barons are sending scores of “mules” to Europe every week from countries such as Nigeria and Ghana where local officials can be bought off, he claimed.

[From the Metro]

I’m pretty sure Amy Winehouse is actually a drug mule. You know that woman could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Hell, she could probably snort one. She’s probably also responsible for at least half of the collapse of West African countries due to drug cartels. The amount of drugs that woman consumes is astronomical. Of Amy’s concert last night, the Daily Mail noted:

After the disastrous opening night of her UK tour, one might have thought Amy Winehouse would be trying to keep her nose clean. But judging by the white powder lodged in her nostril, that seems to be far from the case.

[From the Daily Mail]

I’m going to assume the best, and believe that Amy Winehouse just has a serious Afrin addiction like me. Sometimes when your allergies go crazy, you use so much that it can congeal with the other crazy stuff going on in your sinuses… okay well no. I mean it can, but it still looks like what it is, not like cocaine. But I’m tired of Amy Winehouse’s crazy drug issues, so I’m going to start spreading the rumor that she has allergies and chronic sinusitis. Because I think the UN is right, in her own weird way, Amy’s glamorizing drug use and trying to make it sexy. And I guarantee you, NOTHING is less sexy than a sinus infection with allergic rhinitis. And that’s my good deed of the day.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Amy demonstrating the glamorous result of drug abuse. Images thanks to PR Photos. Header at her sell-out show at the Winter Gardens yesterday. Images thanks to the Daily Mail.

Amy Winehouse’s life is pretty much going to Hell in a hand basket. The British Britney Spears’ husband, Blake Fielder-Civil was arrested last week for witness tampering. Blake beat a guy up last May, and had apparently tried to bribe people involved in the case. He’s been held in Pentonville prison since then. When Amy went to visit him, police officers searched her beehive for drugs. Does that sentence make anyone else really, really happy?

Amy Winehouse’s beehive hairpiece was checked for drugs when she went to visit her husband Blake Fielder-Civil in prison.

Police officers at Pentonville prison, where Fielder-Civil has been remanded in custody, were suspicious of the singer when she went to the jail yesterday.

According to The Sun, Winehouse was asked by a warden to run her fingers through the famous hair-do to prove that she did not have any drugs stashed in it, but nothing was found.

[From Digital Spy]

That doesn’t seem that weird to me. When I was in college, I volunteered at a state prison. The list of things you could and couldn’t wear was lengthy. Let me tell you, the last thing you want to do is work with male offenders and not be able to wear your underwire bra.

Amy’s manager has finally quit. You’d think it’s because she’s totally crazy, her husband is in jail, they’re both unrepentant drug users and alcoholics, or she never shows up to performances. And while none of those things helped, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when manager Thom Stone went to the doctor and tested positive for heroin. Amy and Blake smoked it on the bus, and Stone managed to get enough through passive smoke that it actually showed up on a drug test. I know most people would think, “Yeah, right,” but I believe this for two reasons. 1: Amy Winehouse smokes heroin in her sleep, underwater, and will somehow manage to do it from the grave and 2: Why would Thom Stone lie about that? He could give one hundred other legitimate reasons to quit if he wanted to come up with something. Amy Winehouse’s life is so crazy and soap opera-like that anything and everything seems true.

AMY WINEHOUSE’s tour manager has quit — saying doctors found HEROIN in his system after he inhaled it passively on their bus. Thom Stone said working with drug-addled Amy and her husband was harming his health. It was revealed just a day after the singer went into meltdown on stage, slurring her words and insulting fans as hundreds walked out.

Stone hit breaking point when Amy, 24, and hubby BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL were arrested with cannabis in Norway last month. He produced a doctor’s note which revealed traces of heroin — known as “smack”. Last night Stone would not comment on the doctor’s note, but confirmed he had quit. A source said: “He was constantly bailing her out. He was watching them get off their heads on drugs and wondering whether Amy was even going to get up on stage. It was a nightmare job.”

[From the Sun]
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While I never thought I’d say this about something in The Sun, I absolutely believe every single word of that. Though I wonder, when officers checked Amy’s beehive, what didthey find? You know there had to be some random bramble in there. I imagine they pulled out some baby birds who’s mother mistook Amy’s hair for her nest. And Amy thought all hat chirping was just a side-effect from the drugs! Though I don’t know how she made sense of the bits of worm constantly falling into her eyes. Baby birds are such pranksters.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Amy at the Thames Magistrates Court in London on November 10, 2007. Image thanks to PR Photos. Header image of Amy from at her disastrous concert on Wednesday night. Hundreds of fans walked out as Amy continued to drink throughout the show. According to WENN “Fans booed before walking out of the gig - the opening night of her UK tour - enraged by Winehouse’s incoherent performance. Fans were also unimpressed when the singer stumbled on stage half an hour later than billed, before crashing into a guitar stand. However, Winehouse was unfazed by the booing from the crowd - and threatened them with the wrath of Fielder-Civil. She told the audience, “Let me tell you something. First of all, if you’re booing you’re a mug for buying a ticket. Second, to all the people booing - just wait till my husband gets out.” After performing hit Back To Black, she said, “Nothing’s going to bring my husband back.” Winehouse then dedicated track Wake Up Alone to Fielder-Civil, announcing, “This is for my husband.” Impressive. Image thanks to WENN.