So I was looking through all of the photos of last night’s premiere of Love Ranch, the Helen Mirren film where she plays a Reno madam. I don’t think I realized how strange this f-cking cast is. Bai Ling is in it, which should signal that someone in casting didn’t know what the hell they were doing. Remember when Bai Ling showed up on Lost? I thought at that point that the show was probably over. Anyway, in addition to Bai – who is trying to make out with Helen Mirren on the red carpet, and Helen isn’t having it – there’s Joe Pesci, Bryan Cranston, Gina Gershon and Taryn Manning. What the hell? Did they pick names out of a hat?

Here’s Bai Ling’s full dress – yes, she was trying to get maximum attention.

Helen looks gorgeous, as always. Love her little shrug/cardigan thing. I like her hair too.

I think these are the girls who play the hookers on the Love Ranch? Probably.

This dude is Sergio Peris-Mencheta. He plays Helen’s love interest in the movie. Damn, Helen.

Ooh, look at Helen’s shoes!

This is random. Lionel Richie and Bai Ling were spotted on a “romantic date” last Thursday in Santa Monica. According to Fox News Pop Tarts, they “laughed and flirted throughout their meal.” Lionel is 60 years old and has been divorced twice – his second marriage ended in 2004, when he and Diane Alexander split after nearly nine years of marriage. Bai Ling is 42 years old, and totally strange. In the past, Ling has been romantically connected (in the press) to Chris Isaak, Nick Carter and Mickey Rourke. Ling hasn’t been in the press for a while, so I can see why she might want to be connected with some famous guy. But Lionel should know better:

It seems as far as far can be from the perfect match, but hey opposites do attract — so could it be that crazy actress Bai Ling and music legend Lionel Richie have something going on?

The unlikely duo was spotted on what appeared to be a romantic date last Thursday at Whist at Viceroy Santa Monica. According to an eye witness, Ling and Richie kept a low-profile and laughed and flirted throughout their meal.

The actress (who tells people she hails “from the moon” and has a habit of crashing Hollywood parties and dirty dancing for hours by herself) was most recently linked to Mickey Rourke with whom she put on quite the PDA with at the Chateau Marmont earlier this year.

[From Fox News]

Bai Ling has been quoted as saying that she would like to make an album, or that she’s at work on an album, so it’s perfectly possible that Ling and Lionel were having some kind of professional relationship based on his work as a producer or songwriter, perhaps. But I doubt it. The only thing sketchier than Lionel Richie being connected to Bai Ling romantically is him being connected to her professionally. If they were having dinner, my guess is that there was something sexual going on. Which is weird, because Bai Ling has never struck me as the kind of woman a man would actually have to take out to dinner. She just seems like the kind of girl you would pick up at a club, hook up with, and then deny you’ve ever met.

By the way, I had so much fun reading about Lionel Richie on his Wikipedia page. That man has sold more than 100 million records and he’s totally beloved in the Middle East. His only grandchild (as yet) is baby Harlow, daughter of Nicole Richie.

Lionel Richie is shown on 6/7/09 and 5/20/09. Bai Ling is shown in the header on 6/4/09. There are also a ton of photos of Bai out at various events in May, June and July. Credit: PRPhotos

Despite years of careful internet documentation to the contrary, actress Bai Ling’s representative is denying that she’s nothing but a teeny, tiny, skank. My words, not his. Though his are almost as clear. Aaaaaaaaaaall the way back in January it was widely rumored that Bai had hooked up with Mickey Rourke. Clearly that little bit of gossip lasted her long enough, but now that it’s run out – and she’s not doing anything other than slipping a nip every chance she gets – her rep is digging up the rumor again. Just to deny it, of course. And also mention that she’s not just some wh*re. Though like I said, the interweb is a living, breathing testament to the dishonesty of that statement.

BAI Ling wants the world to know she never had sex with that man, Mickey Rourke. “While BAI Ling, who is single, has dated a lot during her career, she isn’t some ‘wh*re’ who hooks on to rising actors,” her publicist, Anthony D’Alessandro, informs Page Six.

The romance rumor started when Rourke invited Ling, who was in “The Crow,” to an LA party for “The Wrestler.” “She considers Mickey Rourke a friend,” the flack said. “He sent a car for her. She never had an interest in dating him. The next day it was all over the tabloids . . . Though she is an iconoclast with her fashion, too often she’s mislabeled as a tawdry Holly Golightly.”

[From Page Six]

Um, too often she’s labeled as a sl*t. Maybe a skank. On her best day, a wh*re. But a “tawdry Holly Golightly” is pushing it for Bai Ling, even on her classiest evening. Nice try though. I love that the rep inferred that Mickey Rourke is a rising actor. Perhaps “resurging,” but if Bai Ling wanted to get her hooks into Mickey when he was rising, she needs to go back to her childhood years. In case this very talented Hollywood rep isn’t aware, the comeback story is part of Mickey Rourke’s current heat.

No one ever accused Bai Ling of being smart. But when you’re so dumb that you hire a rep who uses the word “wh*re” in relation to you – even in the sense of “not a,” you get what you pay for. When the only thing you’re known for in Hollywood is slutting around, it’s probably not a good idea to issue press releases about your sex life – even denials.

Here’s Bai Ling outside Madeo in West Hollywood on March 29th. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Mickey Rourke, 56, has been spotted getting hot and heavy in public with nipple slip queen Bai Ling, 42. The two made out at celebrity hot spot Chateau Marmont. There’s no word if they rented a room afterwards. Just try to get that image out of your head now – you can’t do it, can you?

MICKEY Rourke (above) is already reaping the benefits of his comeback. The star of “The Wrestler” was at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood the other night with Sean Penn and his long-suffering wife, Robin Wright Penn, when, our witnesses said, Rourke was accosted by fame-craving Bai Ling. Rourke was only too happy to oblige the Chinese-born actress and the two “made out and partied pretty hard.”

[From The NY Post via Gossip Rocks]

Rourke was linked to Pamela Anderson in September after the two were also spotted making out at a club. Those two seem to make a little more sense than Rourke and Bai Ling, although Ling is in such a league of her own it’s hard to think of a celebrity who make make a good match for her – maybe Dane Cook.

I saw Rourke on “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday night and he was pretty low key with Leno. Leno was his former neighbor so they reminisced a little about the good old days when Rourke was swimming in cash and used to have all his biker buddies over the mansion, their bikes lined up 20 deep outside. Rourke also talked about the pain of his career slump and how he started to get desperate after about 11 years. He told a story about how called up a friend and asked him for a construction job somewhere, only to get hung up on because the guy thought he was joking. Rourke worked as a boxer for around five and a half years in the early 90s when the offers weren’t coming in. For those of you who have mentioned his very obviously altered face – it’s revealed in an interview with CNN that he needed extensive reconstruction after all the damage from years of boxing. He also suffered balance problems and memory loss.

In the CNN article Rourke talked about how his award winning role in The Wrestler was cathartic for him. The character helped him work through the trauma and grief he had after losing everything when he couldn’t get roles due to self destructive behavior. We’ll see if that life-changing role for Rourke also earns him an Oscar. He’s getting more work as it is and things are looking way up for him. He’s even scoring with D-listers.

Cameron Diaz made a triumphant return to the red carpet last night to attend the LA premiere of her film What Happens in Vegas. It was her first public appearance after the death of her father at age 58. Diaz issued a statement after her father’s death and also wrote a longer letter to her fans explaining why she wouldn’t be able to do the press and some European premieres for her new film What Happens in Vegas. She wrote “Due to the loss of my father, I have chosen to be with my family this weekend. But it was important for me to convey to all of you how much I love this film.” She also thanks everyone for their support and said she was screening the film with her family because they needed a good laugh.

Cameron wore a tight short red dress with a flat bow around the stomach and black heels. It wasn’t my favorite outfit, but she gets a pass for what she’s gone through. She looks gorgeous. Her co-star Lake Bell wore a silver metallic dress that was just a tad too short along with tan platform heels. Ashton Kutcher was unshaven and messy in a plaid jacket and polka dot tie. Also shown at the premiere are Eva Longoria, who still looks pregnant to me, Diablo Cody, Brooke Burns, and Bai Ling in a spider outfit. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Here’s the trailer for What Happens in Vegas, which opens in the US on May 9. It looks funny and I love Rob Corddry.

Have you noticed that there are much fewer stories about Lindsay Lohan lately? A story in People made it abundantly clear that she’s completely fallen off the wagon. While the gossip magazines and sites covered it, it was barely a blip on our radar. She’s living with a woman and we covered a story that she yelled at Ashley Oslen for trying to talk to her girlfriend, saying “Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend,” but it only got 7 comments. It’s not like anyone really cares about her at this point. Good for her for staying in a relatively long term relationship even if she’s insanely jealous and drinking again.

The stars of faux reality show “The Hills” get more press coverage than Lohan, and that’s really saying something. Over the weekend there was a story that she drink Shirley Temples and seemed to abstain from alcohol while at a gig her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson, played in Las Vegas on Friday, but with Lohan you never can tell if she’s sneaking vodka into her drinks. Nor does anyone particularly seem to care.

Here she is at the Launch of the Scarlet HD TV Series yesterday, looking rough and awkward in that dress. Also shown are Heidi Montag and Spencer Prat, Emmy Rossum, Kristin Cavallari, Lauren Conrad, Tila Tequila, Vanessa Marcil, Bai Ling, and Travis Barker. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Bai Ling is one of the few people I hate more than Paris Hilton. In fact if you tossed Paris, Britney, and Lindsay into a sack, threw that sack in an industrial sized blender, and then baked whatever came out of that blender in the oven, you would have Bai Ling. I have no idea what this woman claims to do for a living – I know there’s some vague thought that she’s an actress, but for the life of me I can’t remember seeing her in anything. What she seems to do for a living is show up to every event on either coast dressed in the most asinine, ridiculous, slutty outfit known to man, and then warble some incoherent gibberish. Bai got arrested the other day for shoplifting two magazines and two packs of AAA batteries from one of those crappy travel stores at LAX before her Southwest flight. Her explanation? Bad breakup. Honey, if the rest of us thought that was a legitimate excuse to commit crimes, 50% of the world would be grabbing fistfuls of Skittles from grocery stores twice a year.

She was dealing with the “huge problem of breaking up [before] Valentine’s Day” when she was arrested for shoplifting, Ling said, adding, simply, “Wrong boyfriend.”

Damon Elliott, a close pal of Ling’s, says she was definitely not herself yesterday. “She was kind of in a mentally unstable state of mind yesterday,” he tells E! News. “She had some relationship issues going on. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind.”

Ling added several prosaic postings to her personal blog later in the afternoon—none mentioned her arrest but all could theoretically be attributed to someone who’s nursing a broken heart. An entry posted at 4:43 p.m.: “Delayed the flight, [wandering] again in the airport like a ghost, why can’t I just be the sun smile?” it read. “Life is a sad song sometime but still sings the beauty for their loved ones…”

“She was very spacey and that was pretty much what happened,” Elliott said. “She was distracted and had a lot of things going on.”

[From E! News]

I don’t know Bai, why can’t you just be the sun smile? Has anyone ever tested this woman to see what kind of medication/illegal drugs/mental illness issues she’s got? I’m guessing it’s a complicated mixture of all three. Look, breaking up with someone sucks, but when you’re an adult, it doesn’t make a big difference that it’s close to Valentine’s Day. That’s not the thing that pushes you over the edge from handling your breakup like a rational person to stealing $16 of crap from an airport convenience store.

Things really aren’t going well for Bai Ling. There’s the breakup, the arrest, the shame… but what I’m most worried about is someone who’s supposedly famous taking a Southwest flight? That costs all of $72 each way. And on top of that, she’s still so broke that she had to shoplift batteries? Maybe it’s time she stop dressing like a clock or a frog at public events and spend a little more time working.

Bai Ling’s greatest hits. Images thanks to PR Photos.

First of all, I don’t really know why Bai Ling is famous, except for her hideous wardrobe and multiple nipple slips on the red carpet. Apparently, her biggest role to date was in “The Crow,” and that was almost ten years ago. I checked out her resume on IMDB and it looks like she’s gotten more work just playing herself in cameo appearances than as a legitimate actress. And now, Bai is joining the ranks of celebrities in trouble with the law after being arrested for shoplifting about $16 worth of stuff at LAX.

Actress Bai Ling — recently named one of Us’ Worst Dressed at the Grammys — was arrested yesterday for shoplifting, TMZ.com reports.

She was at L.A.’s LAX airport when she walked out of a gift shop with two celebrity magazines and a pack of batteries (a $16 value) without paying.

Law enforcement sources told TMZ.com that Ling, 37, was placed under citizen’s arrest by a shop employee and was “cooperative but crying.”

She was then apprehended by airport security and booked for theft.

[From Us Weekly]

Citizen’s arrest! How cool is that? I hope someone talks to that shop clerk and gets all the details. How does one put someone under citizen’s arrest– are there handcuffs involved? Something tells me Bai would like that.

I’m betting money right now that Bai’s mugshot includes a nipple slip.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Bai Ling is shown at the Grammy Awards and at the 4th Annual Black Eyed Peas Peapod Foundation Benefit Concert on 2/7/08, thanks to PRPhotos. That hideous fashion must not come cheap.

Bai Ling is one of those people that are only interesting because she’s so freaking delusional. She can’t act worth beans, prances around in the most moronic outfits in Hollywood, and thinks everyone knows and loves her, when it’s more like everyone knows her as that lady that doesn’t really make sense and always flashes her nipple. I don’t really want to encourage her manic delusions or anything, but this one is sort of funny: she thinks she and Angelina Jolie had crazy chemistry and should have gotten it on… and now that Brad’s in her life, Bai is fine with him jumping in on the good times too.

“Angelina Jolie is so hot that she even drives her female costars wild! Actress Bai Ling, who worked with Jolie on two projects — Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and Jolie’s documentary A Place in Time says that the two shared a ‘special attraction’ during filming.

“‘I felt this energy between us, when we look at each other there’s an energy, an attraction,’ Ling told Us Weekly at our Hot Hollywood party on September 26. ‘Her eyes transfer a sexual energy to me that makes her irresistible.’ Ling said that Jolie, 32, made her a promise while on the set of Sky Captain. She recalled: ‘Angelina said, ‘Next time we’ll play lovers.’”

“So did the twosome get physical off-camera? ‘We could have hooked up, but it just wasn’t the right time or place. But she told me, “My heart’s open to you.” Ling continued: ‘She is like me. She is totally open sexually.’

“The China native said that the last time she saw Jolie was at this year’s Tribeca Film Festival. She added: “I’ve always thought Brad [Pitt] was the sexiest man on the planet. So now that Brad and Angelina are together, now maybe I could experience both at the same time!’”

[From Us Weekly]

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Gross. Not two women together, or even a threesome, but just the thought of Bai Ling with absolutely anything other than a ravenous tiger makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. That woman is cra-to-the-z. I just made that up, and I’m going with it. Let’s hope it catches on. Seriously, there is this level of delusional that’s funny, there’s a level of delusional that needs medication, and then on top of both those levels, there’s Bai Ling. A bit of (unintentionally hilarious) history of Bai Ling’s delusions:

“Many of the events in Bai’s past have only been verified by Bai herself; her past in China is especially in doubt. No independent source besides Bai has verified her claims of her time spent in the Chinese army. The same is true of her time spent in New York as a visiting scholar, when her age would have made her a suspiciously young candidate for such an honor, especially given the paucity of her academic achievements. Finally, her participation in the Tiananmen Square protests would have been quite remarkable, given the fact that she attended the 1989 Moscow International Film Festival one month later as a member of an official Chinese movie group.

“Bai once claimed publicly that she was engaged to Nick Carter, but Carter immediately denied it and the two have never married. She has further claimed that she was “cut out” of Star Wars due to her appearance in Playboy magazine while also insinuating a large role for her character; George Lucas denied this, citing the facts that the edit had been done months before the Playboy appearance was known and stating that Bai’s role was only a few lines of unimportant dialogue. Additionally, Go Fug Yourself has documented Bai numerous times appearing publicly in revealing outfits that happen to “slip” and show her nipples in pictures, despite the fact that she was attending as a guest at events with no overt sexual content.”

[From Wikipedia]

Now I know Angelina Jolie has been pretty public in the past with the fact that she goes both ways – and she used to be pretty messed up, drugs and cutting and wearing vials of Billy Bob Thorton’s blood around her neck or some such thing. Though to be fair, most of us have at least half a beaker of Billy Bob Thorton’s blood somewhere in our homes, so that’s not all that bizarre, in and of itself. But given Bai’s longstanding history of lying about random shit (yeah I really believe you were at Tiananmen Square you crazy, self-serving wacko) I really doubt much of any of this is true. But I look forward to hearing about how she was actually Neil Armstrong.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s some assorted Bai Ling skankiness. I spared y’all the nipple shots. Images thanks to PR Photos.