If you have children, you were probably subjected to Nickelodeon’s 25th Annual Kid’s Choice Awards ceremony on Saturday night. You have my sincerest condolences. I, too, had to watch, and it was often eyeroll-inducing: lame banter between celebrity presenters; boring and unfunny “behind the scenes” skits; stupid slime stunts that dragged out the show even longer and wayyyy too much Disney product, in the form of Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. Miley Cyrus won favorite female television star and favorite female musical artist, much to my daughter’s delight.

There were a few bright spots in the broadcast, including host Jack Black’s over-the-top opening musical number, in which he wore a bright green superhero costume and rocked out with a giant octopus playing guitar to the Kiss song “I Was Made for Loving You,” with the lyrics changed to “I Was Made for Sliming You.” (In my opinion, Black was the only funny, high-energy part of the show and should have been allowed to riff and get crazy even more.) The theme of each Kids’ Choice Awards, you see, is that celebs and kids in the audience get buckets of green slime poured on their heads at random moments. Slimed celebs included Harrison Ford, who recreated a famous scene from “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” which concluded with him being covered in green slime. Other mildly amusing segments included a celebrity belching contest that featured Jodie Foster attempting to burp along to the song “YMCA.”

All in all, the show had the same problems as most other awards shows: it went on too long, there was too much unfunny dialog, and the host didn’t get enough chances to do what he does best. But if you are at all interested in the winners, here they are.

Favorite TV Show: Drake and Josh
Favorite Reality Show: American Idol
Favorite TV Actor: Drake Bell (from Drake and Josh)
Favorite TV Actress: Miley Cyrus
Favorite Cartoon: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Favorite Movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks
Favorite Movie Actor: Johnny Depp
Favorite Movie Actress: Jessica Alba
Favorite Animated Movie: Ratatouille
Favorite Animated Voice: Eddie Murphy (Shrek The Third)
Favorite Music Group: The Jonas Brothers
Favorite Song: “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne
Favorite Female Singer: Miley Cyrus
Favorite Male Singer: Chris Brown
Favorite Male Athlete: Tony Hawk
Favorite Female Athlete: Danica Patrick
Favorite Book: Harry Potter Series
Favorite Video Game: Madden NFL 2008
Wannabe Award: Cameron Diaz

If anything, the Kids’ Choice Awards gives parents a glimpse into the music, movies, and other pop culture their kids like– which should scare the crap out of you. I know I had a hard time sleeping knowing that the youth of America wants to be just like Cameron Diaz.

Brendan Fraser’s marriage may have fallen victim to the dreaded on-set romance that creates and breaks so many Hollywood relationships. Frasier is said to have become too cozy with his latest Mummy installment co-star, Maria Bello, when the two were filming together in China.

Star Magazine quotes a source as saying “Brendan and Maria would disappear together for hours at a time,” and claims that their flirtatious relationship was obvious to all the cast and crew:

Star has learned that the 39-year-old father of three has grown closer to Maria Bello, his costar on The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor! “Brendan and Maria became tight because the shoot in China was challenging, and Maria was a friendly face,” a source tells Star. “They had chemistry for sure. It lit up the set, and everyone commented on it.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, January 28, 2008]

Fashionable Bello, 40, is a single mom who Star notes “was last linked to production assistant Bryn Mooser.”

If this is true and not just guesswork it makes me sad. Fraser has three children with his estranged wife, Afton Smith. They have three boys: Griffin Arthur, 5, Holden Fletcher, 3, and Leland, 21 months. As the mother of a toddler you can see how having three kids can put a strain on a relationship, and they were probably having other issues that were complicated by this possible on-set flirtation. Still, you can’t help but get a little indignant at the thought of a husband leaving the mother of his children for someone he works with. We’ll have to wait and see if this is more than a rumor and if these two are a new couple.

Maria Bello is shown at the 7th Annual Awards Season Diamond Fashion Show Preview on 1/10/08. Brendan Fraser is shown at the 2005 Vanity Fair Oscar party, thanks to PRPhotos.

You know the hot guy from those “Mummy” movies? I don’t know if it was just the lure of the sexy leather bracelet he wore or that he pretend scored with Rachel Weisz. Either way he is back on the bachelor market. He and his real life wife have confirmed that they are splitting up via Fraser’s rep.

“They continue to maintain a close and caring friendship,” the actor’s publicist, Ina Treciokas, said Wednesday in a statement.

[Associated Press]

The couple has been married for 9 years. They also had three kids, which kinda makes me feel bad for circling like a vulture. He and soon to be wife Afton met at a barbeque hosted by Winona Ryder. They then fell in love and married in 1998. Currently reasons behind the parting are still a secret.

I am guessing it his obsession with his male pattern baldness. He had a full thick head of hair in his heart throb days following his “Mummy” movies success. But in 2003 his hair tragically vanished only to reappear last month for the new installment of his claim to fame, “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.”

I bet he went the route of Nicholas Cage. He went and got himself some wicked hair plugs and willed himself back to hotness.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Brendan Fraser and his wife Afton Smith and 2/3 of their kids (the last one wasn’t born yet) are shown at the Halloween Carnival at Universal Studios on 10/23/05. Brendan and Afton are also shown at the Critics Choice Awards on 1/10/06 when Afton was pregnant. They have three boys, Griffin Arthur, 5, Holden Fletcher, 3, and Leland, 20 months.