In Touch has a new interview and photospread with Bristol Palin and her son, Tripp, featuring photos from Tripp’s third birthday. Her kid is really adorable and Bristol comes across, for the most part, as down to earth and normal. She tells In Touch that she’s moved back to Alaska and is happy to work her at her old job again as a receptionist at a dermatologists’ office in Anchorage. (She had this position prior to her DWTS gig, and I’ve theorized in the past that this job is how she ended up with a new face.) Bristol was previously living in Arizona and we heard that she planned on going to the University of Arizona to study broadcasting. She told E! news that she had a boyfriend back in Alaska at the time, and I bet that’s how her college plans fell by the wayside. Maybe her college plans were just a rumor anyway.

The last we heard about Bristol was a story in the Enquirer that she was hoping for a reality show with her sister. While she denies in this interview that she’s looking for fame, she does leave the door open for some kind of show and says she would welcome the money. She also claims to be celibate and not to be having sex with her boyfriend.

The turning point, Bristol says, came last September, when – in a much-reported episode – seh was accosted at the Saddle Ranch in LA by a man who hurled nasty insults at her about her famous family. After footage of the altercation went viral, Bristol, 21, realized she was done with showbiz – and that she’d never felt totally at home in the lower 48. “I wasn’t really into the Hollywood thing,” she tells In Touch in an exclusive interview. “After that, I just realized that I was over it. I was ready to come home.”

Of course there was another big reason Bristol wanted to move back to Alaska – for the sake of her 3-year-old son, Tripp. “He’s going to be starting preschool soon, so we needed to settle into a routine,” she explains. So, Bristol and Tripp headed back to Wasilla and temporarily moved into the apartment under her mom’s TV studio on their property…

Though Bristol has the full support of her family, she’s still getting zero help from Tripp’s father, Levi Johnston, who she often sees driving around town in his truck. “He’s not using his visitation and he’s not paying his child support,” Bristol reports.

Without Levi’s help, and to make ends meet, Bristol is back behind the reception desk at a dermatologist’s office in Anchorage, which can be a three-hour community in bad weather…

“This is what’s normal for me,” she says. “I’m lucky to have a great boss, and I feel really blessed that they were willing to rehire me…”

She says her days as a motivational speaker and TV star are temporarily on hold, though she still has to finish shooting the reality series she’s co-starring in with DWTS pal Kyle Massey. “I think they’re going to come up here and film in January,” she reveals, “but I don’t know the title or the network. Truthfully, I’m not interested in those type of projects, but if it’s going to mean financial security for Tripp, I’ll do it…”

Bristol’s been dating a local pipe-fitter named Giancinto “Gino” Paoletti, 21, on and off for three years. “He’s awesome with Tripp,” she says. “It’s nice to have someone who’s happy to help with him.” Though the two are smitten, Bristol still insists she won’t have sex again until she’s married. “People don’t believe me but it’s true. I’ve gone through hell with guys, so it’s pretty easy.”

[From In Touch, print edition, January 19, 2012]

If Bristol is celibate that’s her business and I don’t want to hear about it. The fact that she’s so vocal about it makes me wonder if it’s true. Remember how she tried to claim that she was blackout drunk when she lost her virginity to Levi? Then when people tried to call her out on still sleeping with him afterwards she couldn’t explain it.

Either way, what’s the point of claiming to not sleep with her boyfriend? I get that Bristol’s family is super conservative and that there’s a portion of the population that believes sex should be saved for marriage. She’s probably hoping to land some more paid speaking gigs talking about celibacy.

Bristol is shown on 4/30/11 at the White House Correspondents dinner, credit: Barcroft/Fame Pictures. She’s also shown out in LA on 8/18/11. Credit: PCNPhotos.

Back when Bristol Palin debuted her new face earlier this year we heard that she was working on some kind of reality show with her fellow Dancing With The Stars competitor, Kyle Massey, and his brother. The plot was supposed to be Bristol moving to L.A. with the Massey brothers. The Bio channel even made an announcement that they were on board with the show and that it would air in the fall of 2011. Only nothing happened whatsoever with that show, and it never got off the ground. Well Bristol hasn’t given up her dream of becoming a reality star. She’s gunning for a Kardashian-type show centered around her life with her family and boyfriend. Bristol’s mom, the abrasive Sarah Palin, isn’t happy with putting her younger 17 year-old daughter, Willow, on television, but she can’t really object since she’s already shown her family on their own docu-reality show for TLC, Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Meanwhile Sarah’s husband Todd wants his own reality show about snowmobile racing. And of course Sarah is still gunning for more episodes of Sarah Palin’s Alaska, the first season of which concluded in January.

The Palin family is embroiled in a war over reality shows, with husband Todd and daughter Bristol blasting “Mama Grizzly” Sarah for promoting her program while failing to fully support their bids, sources tell The Enquirer.

“Sarah is getting flak from both Todd and from Bristol,” said an insider.

Todd’s proposed show about his snowmobile racing was shot down by both Discovery Communications and the A&E Network. And Bristol is struggling to reinvent her scrapped Bio channel reality show, this time under a Kardashian-style format featuring her boyfriend Gino Paoletti and her 17 year-old sister Willow.

“To Sarah’s credit, she helped pitch Todd’s show,” noted the insider. “But he’s still furious. He thinks she didn’t work hard enough because it wasn’t centered around her.

“And Bristol’s upset because Sarah wants to stay out of negotiations for her show. Sarah isn’t thrilled with Willow being involved. But Bristol believes the show will be more marketable with Willow – that they can be the next Kardashian sisters.”

Meanwhile, after Sarah announced in October that she wasn’t going to run for president, on Dec. 19 she hinted that she might. But sources charge it’s just a plot to raise her exposure as she seeks to bring back her own TLC reality show “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 9, 2011]

I love how all of Sarah Palin’s family now feels entitled to their own reality shows. There are enough other fascinating reality shows about non-famous people with weird jobs. I truly enjoy Storage Wars on A&E, for instance, and that show is incredibly popular. A quick glance at A&E’s website shows they have a show called Parking Wars, which is about meter maids. I’m not sh*tting you. They also have Shipping Wars, about people who ship stuff, and American Hoggers, about people who catch wild hogs. On Discovery there’s American Chopper, American Guns, Moonshiners and Deadliest Catch. So some Palins are not going to compete, even with snowmobiles, fake hunting and lots of plastic surgery. The days of the Kardashians and the family reality show are hopefully grinding to a halt.

Bristol Palin is shown on 8-18-11 filming scenes for the reality show that never was. Credit: Pacific Coast News

There’s a new Bristol Palin controversy. It involves a 47-year-old heckler, tragedy, flip-flops, alcohol, West Hollywood, ignorance, a mechanical bull, and the words “whore,” “devil” and “homosexual”. Basically, it was just like Bristol was back in Wasilla. Before I start in on Bristol and this situation, can I just admit something? I’ve never had the chance to ride a mechanical bull, and seeing this bull’s moves… well, I kind of want to now. It looks like a lot of fun. This bull didn’t “buck” as much as other mechanical bulls that I’ve seen. This one just looks like he’s doing fun things to a lady’s vagina. No wonder Bristol is giving the bull that insane, high-pitched, screech-laugh. She’s feeling something she’s never felt before (and that’s a burn on Levi Johnston, not Bristol).

Here’s the video (NSFW language and bull-ridin’)

So as Bristol falls off the bull, she kind of lays there for a second in a post-orgasmic bliss (because, you know, that bull was magic!) and then this dude yells, “Your mother’s a WHORE!” Bristol smiles and makes eye-contact with the heckler, and gives him a little finger action (as in “come here”). Then Bristol makes her way past the dude that she leaves hanging for a orgasm-victory high five, and goes over to the heckler. This is the conversation, lovingly transcribed by Michael K:

Bristol: What did you say?
Palin Hater: Your mother’s a whore. She’s the f–king devil, dude.
Bristol: Oh, is she? What did she do wrong?
PH: She lives, she breathes. If there is a hell, she will be there.
Bristol: Why is that?
PH: She’s evil.
Bristol: Is it because you’re a homosexual?
PH: Pretty much. And why do you say I’m a homosexual?
Bristol: Because I can just tell you are. And that’s why you don’t like my mom.
PH: No, that’s not why. Your mom is evil.
Bristol’s backup: How old are you?
PH: FORTY SEVEN YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!
Bristol’s backup: Okay, then leave her alone.
PH: Why? She came up to me.
Bristol’s backup: You said it first!

There’s more, but I didn’t feel like transcribing it. A couple of points.

1. Bristol is surprisingly filled with rage after her bull-orgasm. Usually, I just get sleepy afterwards.
2. Bristol’s gaydar is finely tuned. “Don’t like my mom” = GAY. Amazing.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Yesterday we covered some excerpts from Levi Johnston’s new book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. I pretty much skimmed the whole book, and I mentioned that I was impressed by how well it was written, meaning there’s no way that Levi had penned a single sentence. He does credit his ghost writers in the epilogue, and mentions that he wanted to put their names on the book jacket, but that they declined. It’s easy to understand why they would prefer not to be associated with this memoir in any way.

Yesterday Levi was on the Wendy Williams show to promote the book. He came across much better than he has in the past. He seemed just somewhat stupid and dull as opposed to completely uninteresting and slow. He’s learning how to handle the spotlight and has been working on his interview skills.

When describing the reasons why he and Bristol broke up for the second time, Levi said that the media claimed he had gotten a girl pregnant that he hadn’t seen in years. Levi said to Wendy, “It went downhill real quick. Apparently I got someone else pregnant that I hadn’t seen in five years… I did not get anyone pregnant.”

Levi is talking about this National Enquirer report that came out in late July of last year, after his second engagement to Bristol, claiming he had gotten a girl named Lanesia Garcia pregnant. Only in his book he openly admits sleeping with Lanesia, an old girlfriend, in January of 2010, he just says he’s not the baby’s father. That’s about six months prior, not five years.

Levi’s ghostwriters wrote:

In January of 2010, more than a year after Tripp was born and I’d moved out of the Palin house, I did hook up with Lanesia for one short night. Six months later, the international media community was announcing that Lanesia was pregnant with my child. She announced that she was barely pregnant – and the father of the child was her longtime boyfriend, and she had no f*cking idea why anyone was connecting her to Levi Johnston at this point.

She called me and said I needed to clean up this mess.

A second reason why this baby could not be mine, as if another reason were needed, was that I’d used protection.

[From Levi Johnston's memoir Deer in the Headlights]

He totally lied and he did sleep with that girl, he just wasn’t the one who got her pregnant.

Oh and some of that other stuff he said in the interview (video above) about how Bristol was jealous of her mom’s pregnancy was not in the book at all. The way it was described in the book, Bristol planned to get pregnant after her mom did, but it wasn’t out of envy at all. It was more like Bristol was influenced by her mom’s pregnancy and her new baby brother, not that Bristol wanted to upstage Sarah.

I guess I can’t blame Levi for forgetting what’s in his own memoir since I doubt he’s even read the whole thing.

Levi is shown out in NY yesterday. Credit: WENN.com

Imagine my surprise (or mild amusement really) when I found an ad for Levi Johnston’s new book on one of our favorite sites, D-Listed. That’s the first time I’ve heard that the book Levi has threatened to release for months is actually out. Levi’s new memoir Deer in The Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs has been published by Simon & Schuster. Judging from the passages I skimmed, the book is highly readable, interesting and relatable. They got Levi an incredibly competent ghost writer who makes him sound both coherent and self aware to a degree that is in no way supported by the dull, halting interviews he’s given to date. Levi is a high school dropout who posed for Playgirl and at one point wanted to run for mayor of his Alaska town. In an interview on “The View” announcing his candidacy (which never materialized), he was incapable of reciting a single reason why anyone should vote him. So it’s laughable to imagine Levi writing this book in any fashion since it actually flows well and describes things simply and vividly. Here’s an example in which he talks about his family. Levi’s love of hunting and the outdoors is a common theme throughout:

My male relatives… were ballsy, somewhat crazy, and still are. Not in a Deliverance kind of way though. They wouldn’t think twice about running a wild river in a canoe, catching air on a snow machine, jumping four-wheelers, or flying off hilltops 120 feet downslope. Those same men had unending patience as they taught us boys what we needed to know to be out there, on our own and safe…

I know who I am from hunting. It’s my identity – a world and an activity I know as well as anyone. Better. It’s a place where I can survive.

Kodiak brown-bear country is different from the heavily treed home of black bears need Wasilla. Kodiak land is mushy, swampy in the valleys, with adler that has been stunted by the wind, the cold and the fog. The saplings are ten, twelved feet high. Sometimes you see the tops of these thickets trembling as a bear pushes through, on the move. You guess the direction and cut that bear off or you’ll lose it.

A snow machine? Is that what they’re calling snowmobiles now? (It seems to be the case as they’re called snow machines consistently.) The passages in this book are evocative and interesting. I actually enjoyed reading some of this because it described nature and hunting in a way that changed my perspective. Levi had some incredible stories to tell, like when he nearly got sucked into a whirlpool when he was canoeing with his uncle. They had to wade through ice cold water for hours at night before they made it the ten miles back to camp.

As for what people are really interested in, The Palins, Levi didn’t say much that we haven’t already heard from him, but he did say it in a convincing way. He described a home life in which mom Sarah was in her own world, separate from her husband and the kids. Her husband Todd did his own thing, hanging out in his man cave and sleeping on the couch at night. Here’s the part where Levi describes that:

Claims Sarah and Todd were estranged, Sarah ignored her kids
The first time I went snow machining with [Todd], he surprised me. At home he is like a shadow. Always in the garage, doing something. Away from home, Todd was a totally different guy. He opened up and we had fun together. Todd and I got home one night and he walked back to his house, past Sarah, who was on her way to her bedroom with her typical dinner, a Diet Coke and chips. They didn’t say a word to each other, yet Todd’s face darkened. He went back to his usual grumpy self and headed for his hidey-hole, the garage, where he could be alone…

For the most part, Sarah was as distant as Todd. She gave out hugs and handshakes to the public, but in private, she didn’t reach out to her kids. If she was in one of her hyperjoyful moods, they she might grab one of them as they went by. Otherwise, she left them alone.

If they wanted something, she’d give in, always. It wasn’t important to her to get her own way about uninmportant stuff – things she wasn’t all that interested in.

Most days, by the time Bristol and Willow got home, Sarah was out of sight. She’d be in her first-floor, cavernlike bedroom with its big walk-in closet – that might have been a huge master bedroom, but it was all hers, not Todd’s, although he kept his clothes in there. He spent his time in his workshop in the garage, with overnights in the living room. Still dressed…

I was spending more time with her family than she did…

I never – I mean never – saw Sarah and Todd touch or kiss, other than for a photo op. They barely even talked to each other.

Levi (his ghost writer) was really sweet and gushing when he described how he fell in love with Bristol and spent time with her dreaming about their futures. He didn’t try to nullify their past at all. At this point I just started skimming looking for the good parts, and I found a few but there are probably more.

On how Levi and Bristol told Bristol’s parents about Bristol’s pregnancy
Todd, who had been watching Sarah first, and then me, was in that place where some quiet men go. Look out.

Do you think I’m going to support Bristol and your baby? His voice was loud. Suddenly he wasn’t so quiet after all.

Well, no.

You need to quit school, get a job.

Sarah picked up. You guys are going to have to get married.

Maybe. After we graduate, I was thinking. Had been thinking.

This was the only time she mentioned marriage – until, that is, the McCain team would make it an issue.

Sarah Palin lied when she said she told Bristol she had a choice to abort
There was no talk of abortion. Sarah would later say that she told Bristol it was her choice and her daughter made the right one… That’s total fiction, although Sarah might be deluding herself or just doesn’t know the truth. Bristol got pregnant on purpose. She had finally come clean, admitted to me that she hadn’t been taking her birth control pills. We were having a baby, end of story.

Levi’s ghost writer calls Sarah out a few more times in the book. He mentions that Sarah called her baby Trigg retarded in a joking way (we’ve heard that before), that she lied when she claimed that he purposefully wasn’t there for the birth of his son, Tripp (he made it there as soon as possible), and that she got livid when he tried to tell her that there wasn’t any difference between questioning Obama’s birthplace and people questioning whether Trigg was actually her son. Levi calls out Bristol, too, for fibbing to the press about her plastic surgery. He does it from his perspective without directly calling her a liar.

On Bristol’s plastic surgery (prior to her new face)
During the time we were together, before she was pregnant, Bristol had had her double chin reduced… Then she decided she needed to get her breasts reduced.

On Bristol’s new face not being necessary
Bristol has had more cosmetic surgery; she showed off her changed features a week before my twenty-first birthday. She told the media about the braces she used to wear. I remember those endless orthodontist’s appointments. I never knew it wasn’t all taken care of – the alignment issue she pointed out as the reason for her reshaped jaw. I did know she had continued to complain after the lipo about the remaining roundness of her cheeks…

There’s a lot in there about the custody battle for Tripp, about how Sarah and Bristol tried to keep Levi from his son and tried to block his visitation at every turn. Here’s another segment I’d like to share, about how Sarah was a big flirt. I doubt she was into Levi though.

Sarah Palin regularly flirted with other women’s husbands
All along my female friends had been trying to convince me that Sarah had had a cougar crush on me and was jealous of Bristol once we had a child together…

It’s a classic situation, my female friends told me, while their menfolk rolled around on the floor cracking up.

What did come to mind was how Sarah behaved with men her own age. I remember her standing next to my dad in the stands in the hockey rink in Fairbanks, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t the only guy she was flirty with. I thought my mother would have a stroke. What could she say? Get your paws off my property?

Sarah could care less as she linked arms with another father and walked away. It was her mojo, her strength. Her sexuality. It was pretty powerful.

There’s more I’d love to repeat, and I’ll include some bullet points below.

The last we reported on Levi Johnston’s sister, Mercede, she was claiming that her Levi’s ex, Bristol Palin, had undergone liposuction and a breast reduction prior to her stint on Dancing With The Stars. This was before Bristol showed up with an entirely new face that she later claimed was medically necessary to reshape her jaw or something. Prior to going on DWTS Bristol worked as a receptionist at a “dermatologist’s” office so I don’t doubt that she had other cosmetic procedures before she got a new face.

Mercede is currently featured in a nude pictorial in the latest issue of Playboy, since they’ll take anyone with a meager connection to the infamous. She has an accompanying interview in which she predictably trashes the Palins like her brother Levi has done before her. Mercede calls Sarah Palin unfit to be President since she couldn’t serve out her term as Governor, which is public knowledge. The most interesting part is where Mercede claims that then 17 year-old Bristol Palin planned to get pregnant with her son, Tripp, and that she worked on it for several months with Levi. Mercede also claims that Bristol’s brother, Track, was an Oxycontin and cocaine addict who was sent off to serve in Iraq in order to get out of his mother’s hair during the 2008 campaign. We’ve heard this about Track before.

Levi Johnston’s sister posed nude for September’s Playboy, but because people read it for the articles, we have to listen to her babble on about her tenuous connection to the Palins of Wasilla. The New York Post has tidbits from the interview:

On Sarah Palin as president: “I think she’d have had a mental breakdown. As governor she quit on us. What does that say about her?” Also, “I would say 70%” of Wasillans “can’t stand” the ex-governor…
Despite that: “It’s hard to get a job in this town because of the Palins. People say, ‘Oh, Mercede Johnston, I don’t know if people are going to come in if she works here.’ ”
Bristol’s sweet text to Levi about impending daddydom: “Ever since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I prayed to God you weren’t the father.”
Bristol Planned her pregnancy: “Bristol’s pregnancy wasn’t an accident. She and Levi planned it. They were trying to conceive for months.”
Bristol’s brother Track Palin was an addict: “He did OxyContin and mostly cocaine. He didn’t choose to go into the Army; he went there because his mom made him, to get him out of the way so when she was at the convention they wouldn’t know he does drugs and would think he was a patriot.” Maybe he was getting it from someone dear to Mercede?

[From Newser, NY Post]

Who knows if this chick is telling the truth. Her own mother plead guilty to a felony count of dealing Oxycontin and was sentenced to three years in prison in November of 2009. I wouldn’t doubt that Track, who is now married with a baby on the way, was doing drugs.

As for whether little Tripp, Bristol’s baby, was planned that would be a real bombshell if it’s true. Bristol described her first time with Levi as happening during a camping trip when she was blackout drunk on wine coolers. She later explained that she wasn’t accusing him of rape and defended her decision to keep on having sex with him. “We did it that one night and I just figured it’s okay to do it again because I’d already broken my moral code.” You might assume that’s what Mercede means when she says her brother and his ex were “trying to conceive for months.” They were having sex and they weren’t doing anything to prevent pregnancy. It sounds like Bristol was pretty deep in denial about it too.

In an entry on what is supposedly Mercede’s official blog, she claims that Bristol’s story about the camping trip is entirely trumped up and that “Personally I have never even heard of a single case where a girl continues to date her rapist for years, while enjoying an active and consensual sex life, and then actively TRYING to have a baby with this person who supposedly ‘took advantage of her’.”

Bristol Palin was on The View yesterday promoting her new memoir. OK! has details of her appearance and Barbara Walters took Bristol to task in that way she has while squinting her eyes and looking at her subject like they’re dirt. She questioned why Bristol claimed on one hand that Levi “stole” her virginity, but then kept having sex with him. Bristol’s answer reveals a lack of logic, which seems to be common in her family:

Bristol Palin has been making the media rounds about her new book, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, in which she claims her virginity was “stolen” by Levi Johnston. But as Barbara pointed out, Bristol must have liked it since she continued to have sex with him, right?…

In the book, Bristol describes losing her virginity to Levi (now the father of her son) after getting drunk on a camping trip and claims her virginity was “stolen” because of it. However, Bristol didn’t get pregnant from just that one event — she continued to have sex with Levi after that first time.

So Barbara asked the obvious question, “It must have been okay, because you kept on having sex with him, yeah?”

Bristol smiled and explained, “We did it that one night and I just figured it’s okay to do it again because I’d already broken my moral code.”

[From OK! Magazine]

That “I broke my moral code” logic is pretty flawed. It’s not like a moral code goes away once you do one thing that goes against it. “Well I stole some lipstick when I was wasted and didn’t know what I was doing. That goes against my morals, but I may as well never pay for makeup again.” It doesn’t make sense to me, and it sounds like she’s still blaming Levi for decisions she made. I’m not going to get into this more than that, I realize this is a touchy subject and Bristol was young when it happened. I just would like to hear her take responsibility for having sex with Levi and getting pregnant. She seems to be rationalizing that it’s all due to external factors beyond her control. I don’t even hear her admitting that she forgot to take her birth control pills. Maybe she didn’t forget and they just didn’t work right. It’s all someone else’s fault.

A quick glance at the reviews on Amazon for Bristol’s book reveals that people who supposedly read it have the same impression of her.

Photos are from 5/3/11 and 4/30/11. Credit: WENN.com

A short while ago, every media outlet got selected excerpts from Bristol Palin’s new memoir, and the excerpts began a national conversation about rape, surprisingly. In her memoir, Bristol discusses how she lost her virginity when she was 17 years old, blackout drunk on a camping trip with Levi Johnston (her boyfriend at the time), with other friends. Bristol’s story was basically that she got blackout drunk on wine coolers, doesn’t remember a huge chunk of time, and when she woke up in the morning, her virginity was no more and Levi told her that they had done it (Bristol claims they both agreed to wait until they were married).

When I covered this, my immediate reaction was sympathy towards Bristol, because in my youth, I had a few nights where I was blackout drunk and doing dumb stuff too. It happens, and it sucks, and if Bristol is telling the truth, it’s a horrible way to lose your virginity. The problem, however, is that Bristol – and the Family Palin – doesn’t have the best relationship with The Truth, and while Bristol might have been telling a version of what happened, I also thought that she was probably just trying to tell a version in which her responsibility was taken away in a wine cooler haze. I also think it’s tricky when you’re talking about blackout drunks – for all we know, Levi could have been blackout drunk as well, or Bristol could have given her consent, and Levi simply didn’t know how far gone she was, etc. There were extenuating circumstances which I thought were obvious, which is why the scandal surrounding Bristol’s story was confusing to me. Some claimed Bristol was saying, in a round-about way, that she was date-raped by Levi. I understand that position (but disagree) – and if you’d like to read a well-written piece about Bristol and the “shades of grey” re: date rape, go here to Pajiba.

Anyway, Bristol has a new interview with Good Morning America today. The first question she fields is about the story of her losing her virginity, and Bristol says that while she feels like her virginity was “stolen”, she’s not accusing Levi of rape: “That’s what it felt like. I’m not accusing Levi of date rape or rape at all. But I am looking back with the adult eyes I have now and that was a foolish decision. I should have never been underage drinking, and I should have never gotten myself into a situation like that.” Here’s the video:

Ugh. So… Bristol says it’s not rape, and she does seem to take responsibility for putting herself in that situation. Which… is what a lot of rape victims do too. “If only I hadn’t invited him in… if only I hadn’t been drinking…” After seeing her explain it, I do tend to think she’s carrying around some pain about all of the crap that went down with Levi.

Oh, and “I’m not an abstinence preacher… I think if you want to prevent teenage pregnancy, that’s the only option.” And then she goes on to talk about how she was on The Pill. For the love of God. I have little sympathy for that part of Bristol Palin – the part of her that shills abstinence when she was on The Pill, couldn’t be bothered to take it correctly, had sex, got pregnant, had more sex, and still profits from the abstinence message. That part is BS.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Bristol Palin, 20, bought a five bedroom, two and a half bath home in Maricopa, Arizona, for $172k in cash late last year. She reportedly bought it in preparation to go to college at Arizona State to study media. Bristol knows a thing or two about working the media after earning the big bucks on Dancing With The Stars and for representing abstinence despite her proven failure at it. Plus she just put out that biography in which she blames Levi Johnston for getting her pregnant and takes no personal responsibility for her actions. Oh and there’s also her upcoming reality show with the Massey brothers.

There’s no evidence that Bristol even applied to ASU and it looks like she’s abandoned plans to do so since she’s now renting out her house for $1,400 a month. Radar has this news, along with some photos of the interior of the home, which was also shown on E! in an interview they did with Bristol and her 1.0 face in February. It was a nice house, although it was a little bare looking. Now it’s even barer since Bristol is heading to Hollywood.

Bristol Palin is Hollywood bound after putting her Arizona home up for rent and RadarOnline.com has all the details.

The single mom splashed out on the Maricopa property just six months ago, but the bright lights of Tinsletown are now beckoning and she has left the home to film a new reality show.

Bristol’s five bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house is up for grabs for $1,400 a month and boasts a newly updated kitchen and landscaped garden and is just one hour from her mom, Sarah Palin’s Scottsdale digs.

But Bristol won’t be moving back home any time soon as her BIO Channel reality show will follow her moving to Los Angeles with her son Tripp.

She will live with Disney Channel stars, Kyle Massey – also a former Dancing With The Stars contestant – and his brother Christopher Massey.

The show is set to air in Fall 2011.

[From Radar]

It’s smart of Bristol to rent out her house if she’s not going to be there, and I don’t blame her for jumping on opportunities to make money when she has the chance. I probably wouldn’t have gone to college if I was making as much money as Bristol. She bugs me, though, and I wonder how successful this reality show is going to be for her. She’ll probably get more viewers than Paris, but that’s not saying much. Fingers crossed that Bristol’s reality show and new career are royally pissing off her mother at least, but that’s a no brainer. Everything pisses off that woman.

Sarah Palin is shown on 5/31/11. Bristol is shown on 4/30 at the White House Correspondents dinner and on 5/3 at a Candies event. Why would she wear those fug shoes twice? Credit: Fame and WENN

At this point, we can stop with the argument that Bristol Palin is just a private citizen, right? I felt that changed long ago, even before Bristol was on Dancing With the Stars. Not only is she a “celebrity” now, we can also stop with the argument that she’s just a “child” or that she’s somehow “off limits” simply because she‘s the daughter of a politician. That ended before Dancing With the Stars too, by the way, and this current Bristol situation only underlines the point. I didn’t know this before Saturday, but Bristol has “written” a memoir. Ten bucks says she didn’t actually write it, but that’s neither here nor there. The memoir/autobiography is called Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, which I’m assuming is some kind of conscious effort to stay away from a title that could easily be made into a porn film title.

So, the publisher of Bristol’s book has been sending out advanced copies and excerpts. Because she’s so off limits and private! In the book, Bristol talks about how she lost her virginity, and SURPRISE, it’s not her fault. Shocking, I know. If it actually went down like this, I am very sympathetic towards her, but “being blackout drunk on wine coolers when she was 17 years old” maybe isn’t the most conservative excuse you could come up with:

When Bristol Palin lost her virginity, it wasn’t the romantic experience she had envisioned. In her new autobiography, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, the 20-year-old single mom reveals that, while drunk for the very first time, she lost her virginity to Levi Johnston during a camping trip.

Palin says she woke up alone in her tent, with no recollection as to what happened. Johnston, meanwhile, “talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas.”

When she confronted him about their sexual encounter, Johnston, now 21, told Palin what she wanted to hear: they wouldn’t have sex again until they were married. But, Palin writes, they became intimate again shortly after. When she learned she was pregnant in 2008, Palin was on birth control pills prescribed to treat her cramps; it took eight home pregnancy tests to convince her that she was expecting.

Palin’s parents, to her surprise, were incredibly supportive. They also reminded her to stay focused on the future, particularly her continuing education. Johnston’s reaction was less comforting. “Better be a f***ing boy,” he told her.

The memoir, co-written with Nancy French, describes Johnston (the father of Palin’s 2-year-old son, Tripp) as a “gnat” who is “constantly spreading false accusations against our family.” Palin also calls him a self-involved slacker “who cheated on me about as frequently as he sharpened his hockey skates.”

And yet, Palin writes that when her mother, Sarah, was introduced as Senator John McCain’s vice presidential pick in August 2008, being on display with Johnston “somehow legitimized us as a couple.”

After Tripp’s birth in December, Palin discovered via text message that Johnston had been cheating on her. Once Johnston admitted to the affair, they decided to break up. Eighteen months later, the couple reunited and shocked their families with an announcement: they were engaged. Shortly after, Johnston informed Plain that he had gotten another woman pregnant, which ended their relationship for good. “I’d just made a complete fool of myself and given my family the middle finger,” Palin writes.

Johnston, for his part, will share his side of the story with his own book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs, which arrives in bookstores this fall.

[From Us Weekly]

Wait, what? So she doesn’t remember losing her virginity because she was blackout drunk (her “first time” with both drinking and sex?), but she was on the pill (because of cramps…?), and she and Levi still had sex even though they both swore to wait until marriage? And in this disarray, she got pregnant. Sure. Don’t get me wrong, it happens, it happens a lot. It happens to a lot of young women and adult women. That’s the point. It happens, so why not be realistic about it, politically? Why continue to shove abstinence-only education down everybody’s throats? Why PROFIT from that message?

Some photos of Bristol’s new and old face. I kind of liked her old face better.

Photos courtesy of WENN.