I knew when I saw photos of Hilary Swank in a bikini last week that she was gearing up to promote something. Sometimes the timing is a little too “on the nose” especially when it’s a celebrity who rarely gets pap’d. Such is the case with Hilary Swank, who has begun the long, slow descent into being in my “She Plucks My Last Nerve” category. Yes, I think she’s a talented actress – not “two Best Actress Oscars in five years” kind of talented, but she’s got limited chops. Bless her heart, she can never pull off the romantic lead, EVER. And it hurts when she tries. Anyway, Hilary is promoting Conviction, which has a “limited release” in October, and The Resident, which doesn’t even have a release date. Somehow, that was enough to get her the September cover of InStyle.

Thankfully, it doesn’t look like Hilary is talking endlessly about her boyfriend’s son, like she seemed to be doing last year in interview after interview, even talking about how she was constantly naked in front of the then 6-year-old. Instead, Hilary talks about if and when she’ll have a baby, and how her 14-year-marriage to Chad Lowe was a “success”:

Children and marriage aren’t in Hilary Swank and boyfriend John Campisi’s immediate future – but they’ll happen when they should because, according to the actress, timing is everything.

“I believe in the sanctity of marriage. John and I, you know, we were both in long marriages and it’s not something that we need to rush back into,” the double Oscar winner, 36, tells September’s InStyle, on newsstands Friday, about her agent-beau of nearly four years.

The same goes for starting a family together. Already a mom-figure in Campisi’s son’s life, Swank says that although she’s thought about having kids “since a really young age,” she’ll wait until “the time is right.”

Even though the Oscar winner may have gone through a painful breakup with Chad Lowe, she only sees the positives in their split.

“A lot of people look at divorce as a failure. I really look at my relationship with Chad as 14 years of success,” she says about her ex, with whom she separated in January 2006. “I will carry him in my heart forever. He’s a part of me.”

“Friends of mine and I talk about this. Does someone come into your life for a certain time, and then you are supposed to go your separate ways?” she asks. “There’s a part of me that thinks that’s true.”

There are friendships, Swank says, “that we grow out of. But I believe in the long haul. I believe in having a monogamous relationship.”

[From People]

Well, she sounds like she’s in a good place in her relationship, and she’s still getting work, so God bless. She’s not harmful, really. She just annoys me. Oh, and does anyone else think that Hilary is just talking about how stable she and her boyfriend John Campisi and how “monogamous” they are because she allegedly homewrecked his marriage?

InStyle cover and additional photo (by photographer Michelangelo Di Battista) courtesy of InStyle online.

When I heard that two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank was playing aviation legend Amelia Earhart in the movie of her life, I actually squealed. I couldn’t think of a more appropriate person to play the icon, and was really anticipating the movie. But when I started seeing trailers for the film that made it look like a Lifetime Movie of the Week – lots of slo-mo glamour shots, sweeping music, and kissy-face with Richard Gere – I started to get a sinking feeling. Looks like I’m not the only one: the current critical consensus of “Amelia” says it’s a dud.

Amelia is a frustratingly old-school, Hollywood-style, inspirational biopic about Amelia Earhart that doesn’t trust a viewer’s independent assessment of the famous woman pictured on the screen. The mystery we ought to be paying attention to is: What really happened on the legendary American aviator’s final, fatal flight in 1937? But the question audiences are left with is this: How could so tradition-busting a role model have resulted in so square, stiff, and earthbound a movie? Why present such a modern woman in such a fusty format? Dressed for the title role in a wardrobe of jumpsuits, leather jackets, scarves, and slinky evening wear dashing enough to stop air traffic, Hilary Swank’s Earhart doesn’t so much talk as make stump speeches even 
 when she’s at her own breakfast table. 
 And director Mira Nair (The Namesake), working from an overexplanatory script by Ron Bass and Anna Hamilton Phelan (based on dual biographies by Susan Butler and Mary S. Lovell), overloads the picture with a cargo of messages, so much so that she deadens her subject’s spirit. Some of these talking points are aimed at today’s teenage girls who might admire the subject’s highly personal fashion sense; others go out to older women who cherish her feminist cred. All of them add up to banners that might as well be flown from an aircraft tail over a beach: Amelia Earhart lived free in life and love! And Fly! She! Must!

[From Entertainment Weekly]

The aerial photography in this biopic looks slick, as does two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank as the rangy pioneer aviatrix Amelia Earhart, who went missing in 1937 while trying to circumnavigate the globe in her flying machine. But, oh mama, the minute the characters open their mouths, the onslaught of clichés brings the movie down in flames. The god-awful script by Ron Bass (Rain Man) and Anna Hamilton Phelan (Gorillas in the Mist) is assaultive in its insistence that “dreams have no boundaries” and other sentiments that even Hallmark would reject as too much. “Who wants a life imprisoned in safety?” Amelia asks in a voice-over. And you want to shout, “This movie does, honey.” There’s not a real or spontaneous minute in it.

[From Rolling Stone]

This is a huge bummer. I guess I’ll wait for it to come out on Lifetime, or Oxygen.

In less surprising news, the sixth installment in the “Saw” franchise also left critics underwhelmed, begging the question: do we really need six of these crapfests? Someone please explain to me why these torture porn fests are getting greenlighted. Also looking to cause box-office nausea is the latest film to hop on the Vampire bandwagon, “Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant,” which EW gives a generous D+. My prediction: “Where the Wild Things Are” will reign again this weekend – by default.

Here’s Hilary Swank with Mira Nair and Mariska Hargitay at the world premiere of ‘Amelia’ at the Paris theatre in New York City on Tuesday. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Hilary Swank’s promotional duties are just starting up for the October 23rd release of Amelia, a film based on the life of Amelia Earhart. I have to say, this film looks good. It even has supporting parts played by Richard Gere and Ewan “Dirty Hot Costume Drama Bastard” McGregor. Oh, and Cherry Jones is in it too! She’s one of my girl-crushes. Anyway, despite the fact that movie looks interesting, you know what doesn’t look good? This Marie Claire cover. It’s not that Hilary looks ugly or anything – she doesn’t at all. It’s just her expression. Like the caught her mid-sentence as she was threatening to beat her assistant with a riding crop. It’s not photoshop – that Hilary’s face when she’s pissed at something or someone. My guess? She pissed off someone on the editorial staff and they used this photo for the cover. Hilarious. In the interview, Hilary talks about everything from getting hired for romantic comedies to walking around naked in front of her boyfriend’s son. Seriously. Yikes. Marie Claire has the full interview, but here are some of the highlights:

Marie Claire: One myth about you is that you’re such a hard worker, you don’t know how to have fun.
HS: That’s understandable, because that’s how people see me all the time. And I will say that it took me a while to learn how to actually have fun. I think I was so driven and determined to get out of where I came from that I thought I had to be constantly focused.

MC: How do you relax now?
HS: My relaxation has always been my animals—going to the dog park with them, going to the beach. I always try to carve out time in my day to be with them. On the last set I was on, I would just get a bike and ride around the studio with my dogs chasing me. It just gets me out of my head, you know what I mean?

MC: People are so awed by the glamour of famous actresses’ lives—they assume they just sit around in designer gowns all day. Myth?
HS: [laughs] In our business, we have to dress up for things, and usually I just borrow a gown. But if I don’t have work, I’m not going anywhere in any designer gown.

MC: What do you sleep in?
HS: I don’t sleep in anything. Do you sleep in a nightgown?
MC: I sleep in pj’s. I have two young sons, so I have to be conscious of that.
HS: Well, my boyfriend’s son is 6 years old, and you wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude. Every morning he comes into the bedroom, and you’re just nude. But he doesn’t look twice; he doesn’t think about it yet. I just toss and turn too much when I sleep, and if I’m in clothes, I get all twisted up.

MC: Another myth: Considering you have two Oscars, there is the assumption that you can get any role you want.
HS: So not true. I really chase the things that I want. I don’t audition anymore, but I do go after things that I believe in. Someone will say, “Oh, I don’t see Hilary in that role because she’s not really that funny to me.” So I’ll say that I want to sit down with them so that they meet the real person behind the characters. I usually get roles that are not the conventional beauty.

MC: Audiences might also assume that you’re just too serious for rom-coms.
HS: P.S. I Love You made over $150 million. It was a really big success. I wasn’t the comic relief of the movie—that’s an area that I’m going to have to prove myself in, if that’s something I want to do. But I don’t find myself leaning toward those movies a lot because I want them to have a lot of heart. I don’t know—just to put on a pretty dress and fall about isn’t funny to me.

MC: What of the idea that your career is more important to you than having a family?
HS: For me, my career is like, for lack of a better word, a baby. I always knew that I wanted to act, since I was 7 years old. But also from that age, I’ve been thinking about the day that I would have kids. When the time is right, I’ll know. I am aware that next week, I turn 35. But I am also aware that the timing has to be right.

[From Marie Claire]

I really wish Hilary would stop talking about her boyfriend’s son in interviews. The last big interview she gave, to Hello! Magazine, she talked about that kid a lot. I found it a very passive-aggressive move towards John’s ex-wife, but that’s just the way my mind works. I also think it’s weird that she’s hanging out naked around her boyfriend’s son. Does that make me a prude about nudity? Probably. But would it be so difficult for Hilary to, I don’t know, pull up the sheet so she’s not all, “Here are my breasts, six-year-old”? Once again, I have to play the reverse sexism card – if it was a man hanging around naked with his girlfriend’s daughter, would people still think it was appropriate?

Note by Celebitchy: I’m an American married to a German guy and living in Germany. I have never seen my parents naked that I can remember and I know that it would make me uncomfortable. However, the Germans have a much different approach to nudity. It’s very common to see nudity on TV and for kids to hang out at nude beaches without an issue. I’ve seen nude kids and nude adults shown on TV in a very matter-of-fact way. If you don’t make nudity an issue kids won’t see it as one, as Hilary tries to explain. Swank probably shouldn’t have mentioned that at all, but I don’t think it’s necessarily inappropriate if she’s just in bed and isn’t walking around naked all day. The issue of shielding kids from occasional natural nudity is, in my experience, a very American one. I don’t think it’s wrong, it’s just a cultural difference. We don’t walk around our house naked, and we wear pajamas to bed, but we don’t take pains to hide from my five year-old son, either. It’s just not a big deal in our house.

Hilary Swank is shown at the “Triumph Inspiration Awards 2009 as part of Milan Womenswear Fashion” on 9/23/09. Credit: LUCA SGRO /bauergriffinonline.com. Marie Claire photos via CoverAwards

A few days ago, we had some early excerpts from Hilary Swank’s Hello Magazine interview. Hilary talked a lot about how she felt “no spark” for her current boyfriend, John Campisi, when they first started spending time together. Hilary said, “What’s interesting is, there was never anything, it wasn’t until we were well into the dissipation of our respective relationships — going through something so difficult at the same time, we became very good friends. We became closer and closer. It was so unexpected. We both recognized that if we were going to take the relationship to the next step, we could no longer work together.” It seemed like a bunch of crap – considering Campisi was married at the time, and a father of a young son, Sam.

Back in 2006, there were rumors that Hilary and John had an affair, and that was the reason his marriage split up. Hilary and John had been spotted going on “dates” as early as April and May of 2006, and it wasn’t until the fall of 2006 that John finally filed for divorce. Keep that in mind as you read the rest of the interview excerpts. By the way, the interview took place while Campisi, Hilary, Hilary’s family and Campisi’s son were all vacationing in Tuscany. It makes me uncomfortable to write this, but it really seems like Hilary is using Campisi’s son as a prop in this interview:

Hilary clearly adores Sam [Campisi’s son] and evidently the feeling is mutual, seeing the two snuggle up. “Oh, Sam’s a little sweetheart,” Hilary enthuses. “he had a wonderful time in Italy. And he loved that the dogs were with us.”

Family is Hilary’s top priority, so it’s no surprise that a tight-knit group of loved ones convened for this dream holiday.

Hilary seems really happy and John, 41, is clearly a large part of that. An agent who represents Hollywood writers and directors, he once worked on projects for Hilary’s production company, “He was part of that team, and that is how we met,” she explains.

Initially, there were no sparks as both were emerging from broken relationships. For Hilary, it was the end of her ten-year-marriage to actor Chad Lowe… they’ve stayed good friends and she has met Mabel, Chad’s new baby with Kim Painter.

For Hilary and John, seeing their friendship evolve into something deeper took them both by surprise. In 2006, the couple were spotted in Rome, In 2007, Hilary confirmed they were in love.

Hello: Hilary, you’ve been romantically involved with John for a few years. Was there any spark of romantic interest?
Hilary: What’s interesting is, there was never anything. It wasn’t until we were well into the dissipation of our respective relationships. Going through something so difficult at the same time, we became very close friends. We became closer and closer. It was so unexpected. We both recognized that if we were going to take the relationship to the next step, we could no longer work together.

Hello: Any wedding plans?
Hilary: No.

Hello: Tell us about your relationship with John’s six-year-old Son Sam…
Hilary: Oh, wonderful. I love spending time with Sam, and I love when we can all go on vacation together. Last year we went to Italy and Greece. He’s been a wonderful traveler. He has been many places.

[From Hello! Magazine, print edition, September 14 2009]

When you’re an Oscar-winning movie star and you get questions about your boyfriend’s son, shouldn’t you simply say something like, “I love that kid, I adore him, I’m blessed to have in my life, and that’s all I’m saying.” Why is she trying to convince us that she and Sam have this amazing relationship? To me, it seems like a very passive-aggressive move aimed at Campisi’s ex-wife. But that’s just the way my mind works – she could be totally sincere. It just bothers me when a man’s new girlfriend is all over his child – it’s the one thing that bothers me about Gisele Bundchen too. I like Gisele and everything, but I think she’s guilty of using Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady’s son like a prop too. Am I being too judgy?

Hilary Swank, John Campisi and Sam are shown at LAX on 4/12/09. Credit: Bauergriffinonline

I hope I’m not alone, but I have very mixed feelings about Hilary Swank. On one side, I really like her. She’s a gifted actress with a hard-scrabble background, who has worked her ass off in an industry that rewards people like Gwyneth Paltrow. Swank has received the Best Actress Oscar not once, but twice… which shows she has a significant fan base within Hollywood. People who work with her always talk about her great work ethic, and her lack of affectation.

On the other hand, I tend to think Hilary is a little over-rated. While she is a gifted dramatic actress, I think she sucks when she does anything else, like comedy or thriller or action. And then there’s everything with Hilary’s personal life – the 9-year marriage to Chad Lowe, the struggle with his addiction, and her 2006 post-split Vanity Fair interview in which she called out Chad’s addictions as the sole reason for their split. While I think Hilary was being honest, the whole thing seemed cheap and without class, in my opinion.

Soon after Hilary and Chad split, she was spotted going out on dates with her agent, John Campisi, who was married at the time. I actually didn’t know that before today – CB just schooled me. I always though John was just some nice, normal, average-looking guy, but it seems he and Hilary totally had some kind of affair. His wife filed for divorce soon after pictures of John and Hilary were taken while they were on some kind of romantic holiday during the summer of 2006. They’ve been dating quietly for more than three years now – and Hilary is opening up about the relationship in a new interview:

After her 9-year marriage to Chad Lowe ended in 2006, a bummed Hilary Swank needed someone to lean on for support, and that person just happened to be her agent.

Although initially there was “no spark” between the 35-year-old Oscar winnter and John Campisi, in time it became clear there was something there. “What’s interesting is, there was never anything, it wasn’t until we were well into the dissipation of our respective relationships — going through something so difficult at the same time, we became very good friends.”

After they began dating, they opted to nix their professional relationship.

“We became closer and closer. It was so unexpected. We both recognized that if we were going to take the relationship to the next step, we could no longer work together.”

In the few years since they’ve been quietly dating, Swank has grown close to Campisi’s son, Sam, and now is itching to have some of her own.

“I’d most definitely like children of my own. It’s something I’d like to do someday. And when that timing is right I’ll hopefully know it.”

[From Popeater]

Of all of the actresses who seem to put their careers ahead of everything and everyone else (no judgment, just be honest about it), I tend to think Hilary is the most likely to actually stop working for a few years and actually start a family. Campisi’s son – whom Hilary references – is from his marriage that ended when his affair became public. The child was a toddler when Hilary swooped in, so the kid’s probably five or six years now. If John and Hilary get married, she’ll be a step-mom – and I’ve got wonder if John’s ex-wife likes Hilary talking about her child. I also wonder why they haven’t gotten married yet? Do you think Hilary is gun-shy after Chad Lowe? Or is Campisi the one holding up the works?

The blurry pictures are of Hilary Swank and John Campisi at a party at the Ischia Film Festival on 7/11/07. I hope that fool is drunk. Credit: Fame Pictures. The header and 1 other picture is of Hilary and John at LAX on 4/12/09. Credit: Bauergriffinonline

Hilary Swank had to be hospitalized to remove a “benign growth” that was found on an undisclosed part of her body. It sounds like it was a minor procedure as she went to the doctor in pain and he found the growth and immediately recommended that it be removed:

Hilary Swank is recuperating after undergoing a minor medical procedure at the hospital, her manager tells PEOPLE exclusively.

The Oscar-winning actress, 34, was “experiencing some discomfort and went to see her doctor, who prescribed an immediate course of action that included a brief hospitalization to remove a small, benign growth,” manager Jason Weinberg says.

“Her condition has been resolved and there are no continuing health issues, with the exception of some short-term rest and recuperation,” he says.

No other details were provided.

[From People]

They call it a “growth,” and it could be anything. The important thing is that she’s ok and will be fine. Health problems can come up suddenly and cause your whole outlook and lifestyle to change. At least two time Oscar winner Swank will be fine after this scare.

Hilary Swank is shown at Fashion Rocks on 9/5/08. Credit: PRPhotos and WENN

Hilary Swank, 33, recently gave an interview to W Magazine, and the whole purpose seemed to be to talk about how in love she is with her boyfriend/agent, John Campisi, 39. But she also let it slip that she takes 45 supplements a day. I know she thinks that makes her look super healthy, but that makes her look super obsessive/borderline disordered to me.

Swank doesn’t elaborate further about Campisi, but she does talk about another constant companion – her stash of vitamins. She takes some 45 supplements daily, and says mostly they’re good for her health.

“I just took my most important ones, which are my Oz Garcia Longevity Pak,” she tells the interviewer. “I shoved them in my mouth right before I met you, which I actually shouldn’t do, because I choked on my vitamins once before.”

But vitamins alone aren’t enough to stay healthy, says Swank. “Exercise is also really important to me,” she adds. “I think it gives me more energy. I would rather sleep six hours and get an hour workout than sleep seven hours.”

[From People]

Mostly they’re for good health? What else are they for? She’s certainly gone through phases where she’s looked more skeletal than slim. I know it can feel kind of frustrating to always read about some new vitamin/mineral/supplement that we’re not getting enough of and/or could have really important health benefits. It’s impossible to get all of them in, especially the exotic ones. But at some point you just have to do your best, and focus primarily on eating well and exercising. Supplementation shouldn’t be the cornerstone of your health regimen. I have certainly gone through phases where I was addicted to the natural health store and taking way too many supplements. At some point I stopped because it was too time-consuming and expensive. And it seems like as long as you eat well, take a really good multivitamin, and maybe one or two supplements, you should be good to go. 45 just does not seem normal or healthy to me. I’m kind of surprised she even mentioned it, considering they way everyone has been focusing on body image lately. While she does look healthy, you can’t help but wonder if a few of those pills aren’t “mostly” for good health.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Hilary Swank is shown on the cover of W and in a ridiculous feather-festooned dress at the premiere of P.S., I Love You on 12/9/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

While I love any list, particularly a top ten, Film Threat’s list of Hollywood’s Coldest People is one of my absolute favourites.

FILM THREAT’S FRIGID 50: THE COLDEST PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD 2007

1. George W. Bush
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Jim Carrey
4. Comedies Not Associated with Judd Apatow
5. Owen Wilson
6. Nicole Kidman
7. Hilary Swank
8. Eli Roth/Torture Porn
9. Jennifer Lopez
10. Jon Heder

While I might have to question George W. Bush’s inclusion on the list, it’s apparently because of his ‘appearances’ in movies like Transformers or TV shows like South Park. Number two Angelina Jolie currently has the number one film in the American box office Beowulf, so it seems particularly bad timing to have her on the most frigid list. Although, have you seen her legs lately? Not hot.

You can check out the full list of 51 on Filmthreat, and the reasons for inclusion, but I have to add that number eleven was Star Wars. I am completely on the anti-Jedi bandwagon. Sci-fi lovers, just because the films were great in the 70’s doesn’t make their prequels good – in fact, it’s like remaking The Dukes of Hazzard or Invasion of the Body Snatchers – perhaps a good idea in theory, but not in practice. Now, commence my stoning to death as I have violated the sacred nature of The Force.

Nicole Kidman may rank high on the coldest people list, but I think she’s hot after she spoke out about the Australian government’s attitude to domestic violence.

“I know why people call violence against women a pandemic.

“It is perhaps the most widespread human rights abuse violation.”

The star called for a greater level of support for victims.

“I urge the Government to do more in relation to victim support services,” she said.

“There needs to be a dramatic increase in counselling services for victims of sexual assault and victims need to be supported better by police and the courts.

“And secondly, there needs to be a huge increase in short and long term accommodation for women and children fleeing domestic violence.

“At the moment, I believe, one in two women who approach a refuge are turned away.”

news.com.au

Now, this might not seem like a big deal, but in Australia celebrities don’t get behind political parties like they do in the United States, and an election is only days away. Voting is compulsory there, probably because Australians care so little about politics if it wasn’t no one would vote at all, and if you didn’t make it law for everyone over 18 to vote you’d have to ambush people on the street and force them into polling booths.

Note by Celebitchy: I wanted to find fictionalized portrayals of George W. Bush, and while Wikipedia has a pretty comprehensive list it wasn’t that easy to dig up clips and photos. I did find one though, a clip from Family Guy of George W Bush showing up for Vietnam.

Family Guy George Bush Misses Vietnam

Family Guy shows us how George W Bush missed Vietnman.

Get humor videos at NothingToxic

And here’s a link to a full length clip from the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VII that first aired in October, 1996 featuring Bill Clinton and Bob Dole. I looked hard for Clinton’s appearance on the “Max Power” episode of the Simpsons where he tells Marge he’ll be in the shed out back just in case, and the one where Lisa tells him he gave a lousy lesson and he says “Well, I’m a pretty lousy president” but this was all I could find. Presidents are always fair game for parody, although I doubt Clinton would have made this coldest list ten years ago. I am striving for neutrality here if it isn’t obvious.