Brooke Hogan really is a daddy’s girl. Even though both of her parents are dating massively younger people since their split, Brooke is pretty much alright with the Hulk but isn’t even on speaking terms with her mom. Yesterday Brooke confirmed to Chelsea Handler that she and mom Linda aren’t talking anymore. Which you can’t really blame Brooke for – it’s super weird to have your mother dating your younger brother’s friend.

Brooke Hogan’s been pretty vocal about her mom’s much younger lover. (Linda Hogan, 48, is dating someone 29 years her junior.) But now the Hulkster’s daughter says the two are no longer even speaking.

Not at all, she tells Chelsea Handler, host of E!’s Chelsea Lately. “The more time that goes on now that she doesn’t call, she doesn’t confront me, she doesn’t tell me the truth, I’m like, all right, it’s just time that’s pulling us apart.”

But what about dad’s young twinkie, why doesn’t that bother Brooke? “She’s not even that young…she’s grown.”

The girl in question, she is all of 34 years old. Meanwhile, pop celebrates his 55th birthday next month.

[From E! News]

Brooke gave an interview two weeks ago to the Associated Press in which she went into a bit more detail about the awkwardness and frustration of her relationship with her mom.

AP: How did you and your mother get so far apart?

Hogan: My mother and I naturally have a tremendous bond, there’s like a bond that you just can’t break with us. … Right now I’m just really disappointed with her and I feel like I wish I could talk to her, but you just can’t. It’s one of those kind of things where, I am a very straight-laced person and maybe that makes it even harder for me to see the path that she’s going down as being right, but I look at her now and I’m like, “You were my hero at one point. Why are you making these weird choices?” I don’t understand it. I definitely don’t condone what’s going on. I definitely don’t think it’s cool who she’s dating. I think it’s ridiculous but at the end of the day she’s my mother and I will still respect her and love her but right now … I just have to love her from a distance for now.

[From FOX News]

Brooke admits that she had a spat with the Hulk earlier this year, but that they were able to work past it because she ultimately respects her dad and believes he’s a good person. Her phrasing implies that she doesn’t think the same of her mother.

Here’s Brooke on Chelsea Lately.

I should feel like a really bad person for cheering whenever the divorce proceedings between Linda and Hulk Hogan worsen. But then I think about the way karma is biting them so deliciously in the ass, and this big, perverse grin spreads across my face.

Linda is trying to get Hulk thrown into jail for reneging on a contract to purchase a $4.3 million condo in Las Vegas. The two had been ordered by a judge to complete the sale, even though they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. But when the day came to sign the final pictures, Linda claims Hulk was nowhere to be found, and suddenly his attorneys and friends had no clue where he was. What it really comes down to is Linda needs a place to party with her cougerlicious boys.

Hulk Hogan left his signature bandanna at home today, because it could clash with the orange jumpsuit a judge may force him to wear.

Hulk and soon-to-be-ex wife Linda were in court in Clearwater, Fla., as Mrs. H. asked hizzoner to hold her estranged hubby in contempt for failing to close on a $4.2 million Vegas condo.

As we first reported, Hulk wants to bail out on the deal — even if it means he loses his $840,000 deposit. Linda says they had an agreement to close on the condo and Hulk had no right to withhold the cash.

[From TMZ]

Hulks lawyers went off to E! News about how selfish and crazy Linda is for still wanting to purchase the condo. They also pointed out that in light of the lawsuit by John Graziano’s family, it is both financially imprudent and morally tacky to throw $4.3 million into luxury real estate. Which is totally true. But I’m behind anything that somehow results in either Hogan elder spending time in the slammer.

Header of Linda Hogan at the Palms Place Hotel and Spa Grand Opening in Vegas on May 31st. Photographer: Judy Eddy. Hulk Hogan outside MTV TRL Studios in Times Square on January 7th. Photographer: Patricia Schlein. Images thanks to WENN.

A lot of people have wished a lot of bad things on the Hogan family since Nick Hogan nearly killed family friend John Graziano in a drag racing crash. Me included. And it seems like Hulk and Linda’s lives are spinning out of control, and their divorce is getting ever more acrimonious. One solitary tear just slid poignantly down my cheek. Linda says Hulk is stalking her, and Hulk claims Linda is crazy but he still loves her.

Linda Hogan filed court documents on June 30 seeking to prevent her estranged husband from harassing her. In the documents, first reported by TMZ.com, Linda Hogan, 48, claims that Hulk Hogan, 54, “relentlessly and methodically” follows her, “causing her anxiety and fear for her safety at all times.” The motion also claims that Hulk “has a history of violence” towards Linda, “and is capable of attacking [her] at any time.”

In a statement, David Houston, a lawyer for Hulk (whose real name is Terry Bollea) shot back: “Linda Bollea’s allegations are pure fantasy, in line with her recent 911 call that has been widely played in the media.

“On May 22, Linda called 911 claiming Hulk was stalking her, which Hulk vehemently denied. Since November, Terry Bollea has been in Los Angeles working. The limited time that he has spent in Florida has been solely to visit his son and daughter. In addition, he has no history of violence.”

[From People]

Linda called 911 on Hulk for stalking her back in May. Hulk showed up at her house. Scary, no? Well he was dropping their daughter Brooke off. And Linda knew that. But apparently his mere presence meant he was stalking her, so Linda did the logical thing - followed him, while calling 911 to report him. The operator actually had to yell at Linda, “Ma’am, ma’am! Stop following him!”

How in the world could such terrible people have created such wonderful, thoughtful kids? It boggles the mind. Rumors were floating around that the pair were having serious marital problems since last spring, well before Nick Hogan’s car crash. Obviously that whole debacle put too much strain on an already fragile relationship.

But since then, both of the Hogan parents have conducted themselves with the utmost dignity; namely dating people their children’s age (and in Hulk’s case, dating a woman that looks like his child). Oh and rubbing lotion on his daughter’s ass.. And other uber creepy behaviors.

Hopefully this is the beginning of a long line of karmic retribution. Er, I mean forgiveness. Okay not really.

Header of Linda, Hulk, and Brooke along with Amber Reidinger at a Super Bowl party on February 3rd, 2007. Images thanks to WENN.

A few months ago some paparazzi pictures came out of Hulk Hogan rubbing suntan lotion on his daughter’s ass. It was mildly disturbing, to say the least, and generated more than a few comments, mostly along the lines of ‘Help me! My eyes! My eyes!’

Anyway, daughter Brooke says that it’s okay when her dad rubs lotion on her behind, because her ass is like a car.

“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like he’s touching an old car,” the singer tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“He used to change my diaper!” she adds.

Us Weekly

Brooke is on the cover of Maxim magazine looking surprisingly good, and now that she’s fighting with her mom she’s obviously back to being on good terms with her dad again following their falling out about his relationship with her former best friend, because he came with her to her Maxim shoot.

You can view the video below, where Hulk tells the camera that when Brooke was 17 he wouldn’t let Maxim take sexy pictures of her, but now that’s she’s nearly 20 it’s okay. I have no explanation for this logic, except I guess she’s of legal age now. Frankly, if I ever get the offer of a Maxim shoot, and I’m expecting it any day now, I not even going to show my father the pictures, let alone invite him to the photo shoot. I guess Brooke might have taken her mother with her, but she’s not talking to her.

Brooke looks surprisingly good in the photos for Maxim, and in the video she’s seen kissing and fooling about with unidentified skinny guy. The rumors of her engagement continue but apparently she feels that with Nick incarcerated she shouldn’t be celebrating and she’s gong to wait until he is released to break the news to the world. Her wedding won’t be featured on her reality show, unless it really bombs and then she’ll do it to get ratings boost.

Note by Celebitchy: The thing that bothered me about those pictures is that her dad was touching her ass for one, but also that it’s a place she can easily reach herself. You ask people to apply sunblock to the places you can’t reach, and there’s really no reason for him to be touching her butt at all.

The Hogan family has been pretty assholeish (a word I just made up, and debated considerably about dropping or retaining the ‘e’) to the family of John Graziano, the man 17-year-old Nick Hogan made a vegetable for life after his drunken drag racing accident. Both Hulk and Linda have publicly blamed John for his condition, saying that he should have been wearing a seatbelt. Well, yeah he should, but it wouldn’t have been a big issue if their 17-year-old hadn’t been drunk and drag racing in the street. And didn’t crash into a palm tree.

Then last week Hulk went on Larry King and said the crash was God’s will – to make John a better person. Not surprisingly, these kind of statements have really riled up the Graziano family, and as a result, they’ve been threatening the Hogans. Oh boo freaking hoo.

Clearwater police are investigating threatening phone calls made by a member of John Graziano’s family to the family of Terry Bollea, also known as Hulk Hogan, according to Clearwater police spokesman Doug Matthews.

Matthews could not say which member of the Graziano family allegedly made the threats; nor could he say which member of the Bollea family received them.

Morris “Sandy” Weinberg, an attorney for Nick Bollea, 17, who is serving a jail sentence on a charge of reckless driving with serious driving bodily injury, confirmed that the police had listened to the threatening voicemails.

“Does the family take it seriously?” he asked. “Yes, they do.” No arrests have been made.

[From the St. Petersburg Times]

Well of course the Hogan family takes it seriously. When even minor bad stuff happens to them, it’s the end of the world. But they’re fine with supplying their minor son with alcohol, then letting him drive a suped up car. And anything that results from it is everyone else’s fault. But if someone dare to leave a threatening voice mail on their answering machine, there will be absolute hell to pay.

Get over yourselves Hogans. There is a special spot in hell for you. Until then, if every one of your days is twice as miserable as the Graziano family’s, you should considering yourselves really, really lucky.

One of the things I find eternally confusing about Hulk Hogan is how he manages to be holier-than-thou. That’s a pretty tough attitude to pull off, especially for someone who has sported a bleached-blond mustache for the last thirty years. Hulk went on Larry King to talk about his suck-ass family – specifically his worthless son Nick, whose drunken drag racing accident left passenger John Graziano a vegetable for life. Nick is currently serving an 8 month sentence in the Pinellas County Jail – and he’s done nothing but bitch and wine about it the whole time.

For whatever reason, Hulk thought it’d be a good idea to go on Larry King. I’m guessing the delusional dad thought he’d go on to clear the air and show everybody just how wrong they are. Unfortunately for Hulk, all he did was remind us of what an asshole he is. Now we know where Nick gets it.

Hulk Hogan almost broke down last night on “Larry King,” but his outrageous behavior over his derelict son’s criminal behavior was in full blossom.

For starters, Hulk said he felt Nick’s accident, which put friend John Graziano in a vegetative state, was God’s plan to make John a better person.

As for Larry…..no questions about Hulk going to Hooters after the sentencing, no questions about rubbing his daughter’s ass, no questions about Linda saying she was the real victim. Oh well.

[From TMZ]

Hulk also accused the media of being unfair to the family, saying he called it “Tabloid terrorism.” He looks pretty proud of himself for his alliteration, too. He claims that the public knows his “focus is on John,” and that the media has been unfairly harsh on Nick. Because anyone who doesn’t mollycoddle his kids like he does is obviously irrational.

The most annoying part of the holier-than-thou shit is that Hulk claims that he believes in God and God is clearly trying to teach Nick a lesson and make John Graziano a better person. The Hogans have often alluded to John being some sort of terrible person who was deserving of divine retribution. I’m pretty sure that every time they do that, a new level of Hell is created just for them.

Nothing has come out in the press indicating that John Graziano was anything other than a nice, normal guy – an Iraq war vet. John’s father pointed out that Nick Hogan managed to do to John what Iraq couldn’t – nearly killing him. Hopefully the Grazianos will be able to sue the Hogan’s for every penny they’ve got. I really wish there were a way to throw Hulk and Linda Hogan in jail for being such crap-ass parents and saying such horrible things since the crash. But since there isn’t, hopefully scrimping to make ends meet for the rest of their lives will teach them a little humility.

Speaking of which – Linda is trying to put Hulk in jail too.

Linda Hogan wants Hulk to spend time with Nick — behind bars. Linda is asking a judge to cite the Hulkster with contempt of court, because he allegedly didn’t ante up money for a $4.2 million Vegas condo, as required by the judge. Yes, the judge ordered Hulk to pay for a party pad. We love the law.

The condo was in escrow when the divorce was filed and the court order required both Hulk and Linda to close the deal and then put the asset in the community pot. Linda has put her share in but Hulk hasn’t.

And here’s the kicker. In the legal papers, Linda is asking the judge to throw Hulk’s ass in the Pinellas County Jail, where Hulk and Nick can sure scheme to hatch the post-pokey real-ality show. Dis and gusting.

[From TMZ]

Here’s a clip of Hulk on Larry King last night. Let the outrage begin.

With both of her parents going off the deep end since their messy divorce, and her brother in jail for his part in permanently disabling his best friend, 20-year-old Brooke Hogan seems like the only halfway sane person in that family. Which is kind of scary, if you think about it. Brooke confessed that the idea of her mom dating a guy who is younger than her has her “freaked out.” In fact, Linda Hogan met her new boy toy because he is a school mate of Brooke and Nick. Ewwww.

Not everyone approves of Hollywood cougars—least of all their cubs.

Brooke Hogan’s reaction to her 48-year-old mom, Linda, dating someone 29 years her junior? “I’m totally freaked out,” she told E! satellite radio personality Michael Yo during a conversation the two had off air.

“I personally don’t like it at all or condone it, but she’s my mom, so I have to show her support.”

The Hulkster’s daughter also confirmed that mom’s man-child, Charley Hill, 19, was a classmate of hers and her jailed brother, Nick.

“I went to school with him. He was a grade under me…Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us (in school).”

[From E! Online]

I’m with Brooke on this one. When I was about 22, my mom, who was 43 at the time, started dating a 20 year old guy, and let me tell you, it was weird. She bossed him around like she was his mother and he seemed to like it. It gave me the willies just to hang out with them. Thankfully, my mom got it out of her system. If the guy had resembled my brother- the way this kid resembles Nick Hogan- it would have been even weirder. Add to that the fact that her dad is dating a younger woman who looks a lot like Brooke herself, and this family is just plain creepy.

Brooke Hogan and “Charlie” are shown on 5/31/08 on the dance floor at the Palms Place opening, thanks to Splash.

The Hogan family really didn’t make the most of their time on reality televsision. Instead of focusing on Brooke’s mind-numbingly boring music career, they instead should have featured the weird love triangle between Brooke, her father and her best friend. Instead of having some petty domestic dispute between Linda and Hulk, they should have had shown his face when he learnt about their divorce from a newspaper calling for comment.

Consistent with her classy behavior in the past, Linda Hogan has been seen out partying with a man young enough to be her incarcerated son.

In an effort to make the Hogan family look even worse, Linda Hogan took her 19-year-old Nick-a-like boytoy to the opening of Palms Place last night!

Our spy says Linda’s prey, Charlie, said the two are just friends — because friends are typically all over each other at the Palms.

TMZ

Does anyone ever fall for the ‘just friends’ line? While people of different genders and ages can be friends, I find it hard to believe that Linda could have made fast friends with a 19-year-old bleached blonde perma-tanned young lad she just met in a club. And then put her hands ‘all over’ him. Unless they’re comparing tanning salons and discussing the best way to cover up dark roots.

The thing that horrifies me the most about the whole thing is that the young man looks quite a bit like Linda’s son Nick, rather like Hulk Hogan’s girlfriend looked like his daughter. I know it’s probably just coincidence, but it creeps me out all the same.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Linda Hogan and her boytoy, identified as “Charlie,” are shown on 5/31/08 on the dancefloor at the Palms Place opening. That guy is a lot older than 19. He looks like he’s pushing 30 to me at least. Thanks to Splash News for these photos.

When I was 14 I invented a secret boyfriend. We had an awesome time together and did wildly inappropriate things. I’m pretty sure everyone knew I was lying. But I’ll defend that decision to this day. It saved my 14-year-old dignity (or so I thought), and I didn’t actually do any of those wild things. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s going on with Brooke Hogan, who apparently has had a secret boyfriend for several years - and they’re now engaged. Brooke, it’s only cute to make up stuff when you’re young and dumb. Just being dumb isn’t’ enough.

The gentleman in question – who appears to have a thing for tranny-looking girls – got down on one knee and asked Brooke Hogan to spend the rest of her life with him. Apparently with all the romance going on in the Hogans’ lives these days, 21-year-old Jonathan Prater thought it was the perfect time to plan a once-in-a-lifetime (theoretically) occasion.

Brooke Hogan is secretly engaged to a choreographer - but they’re trying to keep their happy news under wraps until the dark cloud over the Hogan family dissipates. The Enquirer has learned exclusively that Jonathan Prater, 21, recently dropped to one knee and asked 20-year-old Brooke to marry him - and the “Brooke Hogan Knows Best” stunner said “Yes!”

The couple has been dating off and on for the past few years, but this time the romance has gotten hotter than ever. Even so, Brooke has decided to keep their engagement quiet until brother Nick’s recent felony reckless driving conviction and Hogan divorce controversies are put to rest, sources say.

[an “insider” tells the Enquirer] “With everything going on right now the Hogans feel like it’s not an appropriate time to be celebrating.” The family’s VH1 reality show, “Hogan Knows Bes,” now has been spun off into “Brooke Hogan Knows Best,” and fans can expect to see Brooke sporting a diamond engagement ring at some point.

[From the National Enquirer, June 2, 2008 print ed.]

I have to say, I think this Jonathan Prater character could have timed the engagement a little better. Brooke’s parents are divorcing, her dad cheated on her mom with her good friend, her little brother’s in jail, and she’s reportedly suffering a breakdown. Is now the right time? Really? My only guess as to what the guy was thinking was something along the lines of, “She’s really bummed out. Maybe planning a wedding will distract her.” Or something like that.

The Enquirer also mentions that Hulk threw Nick a big “Going off to jail” party a few days before his sentencing. Look what you’re marrying into Jonathan Prater! I don’t know who the hell you are, but I know you can do better than this.

Stay classy Hogans.

Here’s Brooke at the Broker Boxing Federation event to help raise money for the Alonzo Mourning Charities foundation on April 10th. Images thanks to WENN.

Nick Hogan really doesn’t like jail. I mean really. It’s no fun at all – in fact it’s downright boring. Though it appears he hasn’t been made anyone’s bitch (yet), Nick still thinks the place sucks and wishes he’d gone to trial instead of copping a plea. The inmates are allowed to talk on the phone as long as they want at Pinellas County Jail – during their free time of course. Nick spends an average of two hours a day on the phone, generally complaining and whimpering to his mom.

The contents of some of Nick’s conversations have been released, and now we can hear a few of the specifics about just how tough jail really is.

The phone calls began just hours after Nick Bollea was hauled away from the courtroom.

Nick Bollea: “Had I known this, I would have rather gone to trial or I would rather, you know, appeal the case or something. I can’t deal with this for eight months. It’s (Bollea’s cell) like the size of my bathroom.”
Linda Bollea: “Oh!”
Nick: “No windows or nothing. Just one little top bed thing.”
Linda: “Oh my God!”

[From ABC Action News]

I know! My God indeed! Now I’m guessing Nick Hogan’s bathroom is bigger than most of our bedrooms. So I am not necessarily impressed by how small his cell is. And it’s not like he’s got a lot of stuff to keep in there. What does it matter how small it is? But I just love the shock and “Oh my God!” I’m guessing that was followed with, “What thread count are the sheets? 200 you say? My God!”

Bollea is being kept in a single cell at the Pinellas County Jail because he is one of only two minors serving time in the adult facility. On the phone, he cries often and is comforted by his mother Linda.

Nick: “All you do is sit there and think, and there’s nothing to think about.”
Linda: “We’ll get through it.”
Nick: “Yeah.”
Linda: “Prove to everyone you’ve learned your lesson and be more careful.”

Bollea asks for anything to pass the time, including books and magazines. He even talks about breaking the world record for sleeping and working out in his cell. On Wednesday his famous father Terry (a.k.a. Hulk Hogan) congratulated him on his time served so far.

[From ABC Action News]

Considering how Nick’s family has often reacted to the car crash (which left passenger John Graziano in a vegetative state, probably for life), it’s actually surprising to hear Linda Hogan acknowledge that Nick did do something wrong, and has a lesson to learn. Linda has encouraged Nick’s racing hobby for years, including drag racing – which was what he was doing when he crashed his car.

However she did support Graziano family for a while, renting a condo for his mother to stay in while she kept watch over her son . So it seems like she has some teeny, tiny bit of common sense lacking in father Hulk Hogan, who said the following:

~”I’m very proud of you brother. Very, very proud of you. You’ve been thrown in a tough spot and you’ve handled it better than I could have probably handled it. Any man I know. You’ve really been somebody to look up to.”

[From ABC Action News]

Yes, ruining a young man’s life, never taking responsibility or saying sorry directly to his family until you’re forced to in a court of law – you are someone to look up to, Nick Hogan. You’ve ruined many lives. Congrats. I hope the next seven months are filled with deep thoughts… though you’ve already admitted you don’t have many of those.

Nick Hogan is pictured at his sentencing hearing on May 13th. Images thanks to Splash.