According to the National Enquirer, Mariah Carey, 38, is dating actor/rapper Nick Cannon, 27. Cannon made an appearance in one of Mariah’s videos for her new CD that was shot in March, and Mariah then promoted him to director of the video.

It was filmed in the Caribbean and the Enquirer claims “they mixed work, pleasure and romance.” Mariah is said to be crazy about Nick, but is trying to keep the romance a secret.

This rumor may have originated with Janet Charlton, who reported back on April 2:

Mariah, 38, has known Nick, 27, for years, and she asked him to do a cameo in a video for her “E=MC2″ album. They started spending time together working on the video script and they got VERY close. Sparks flew and the next thing she knew, Mariah had promoted Nick from a cameo in her first video, to DIRECTOR of her second video! They were both at Butter in New York the other night but keep up the charade of “just friends.” She’s been flying around promoting her album so they secretly hook up whenever they can.

[From Janet Charlton’s Hollywood]

Cannon has a bit of a reputation as a cad and has dated Christina Milian and Kim Kardashian. He was engaged to model Selia Ebanks last year after proposing to her via the jumbotron in Times Square. The two split up in October after five months.

Mariah seems like the kind of woman who enjoys relationships of convenience and Nick seems like the type of guy that’s all for that, so you could see these two having something together. It probably won’t last, neither of them come across like they’re looking for a commitment or are particularly capable of one. But whatever works for them.

Mariah Carey wants us all to know she’s not stupid, or a slut. She’s actually a prude, so wholesome you could sell her to Disney.

In a recent interview with Allure Mariah calls herself a “freakin’ prude.”

“It’s a dichotomy, I understand,” the 37-year-old bombshell singer tells Allure magazine. “I understand that people think I’m a ditzy moron.”

And just in case she REALLY is a ditzy moron, Mariah also told Allure “I have three personal assistants just to keep up with my schedule.”

Despite previously being romantically linked to Eminem and Derek Jeter Mariah says she’s actually conservative and has never indulged in a one-night stand.

“I’m Mary Poppins: I’m what the buttoned-up girls are supposed to be,” Carey told Allure.

SOHH

Would Mary Poppins have ever posed nude for a fragrance advertisement?

I Mary Poppins wasn’t fictional and was alive and well today, she’d probably work for a wealthy London family for a time before being poached by a celebrity couple, wearing the mother’s cast off designer labels and sleeping with the father and making money from a tell-all in the British tabloids. She’s have no time to sing songs about room cleaning.

Sadly, Mariah wasn’t comparing herself to a modern-day Mary Poppins, but rather the virginal 1964 original from Disney. Without the magical powers.

Mariah partially got her reputation as a ditzy moron after this clueless quote was mistakenly attributed to her; “When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

The quote was actually part of a fictitious interview created online, that was picked up by mainstream magazines and newspapers. She really did say she was Mary Poppins though, and that’s dumb enough.

Mariah Carey is shown outside of MTV TRL studios on 2/27/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

I always have to wonder what politicians think about some of their celebrity endorsements. I’m sure just about everyone would love to get the likes of George Clooney, Oprah, and Tom Hanks on their side. But what must they think when someone like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, or Paris Hilton endorses a candidate? To be fair, I think it’s highly unlikely that any of those particular celebs even know who’s running for president… in fact they might not even be clear on who is currently the president. I’m pretty sure Paris thinks it’s Bush senior, and he’s just been there for a really long time. And while Mariah Carey is no Britney Spears (though they both have had a few public meltdowns), one can’t help but wonder if Barack Obama really wants her endorsement. How does one politely say, “Gee, thanks but no thanks,” to someone like Mimi, without getting a stiletto imprinted somewhere on your backside?

“Are you watching the debates?” asked Yo.

“Clearly I’m no political analyst. We all know that my album is called E=MC2 but I’m not exactly friggin Einstein,” joked the “Love Takes Time” singer. “So basically I like to leave that to people who know what they are talking about, but I am very much more focused on this moment in our history.”

“Have you picked anyone?” asked Yo.

“Yes, clearly,” she answered.

“Can you say?”

“That’s personal but it’s pretty obvious,” the entertainer replied.

“Come on Mariah, ‘Yes we can’ Mr. Barack Obama?’

Laughing, Carey came clean: “Yes we can!”

[From E!]

Like Britney Spears, Mariah also had a very public meltdown several years ago, nearly stripping off her clothes on MTV’s “TRL.” But instead of flaunting the crazy like Brit, Mariah checked herself into a hospital (for the classic celeb “exhaustion”), took some time off, got her shit together, and came back with her strongest album ever, 2005’s “ The Emancipation of Mimi.” Though Mariah has always stated she’s not in a position to give Britney Spears advice, she did say that what got her through her public meltdown was her faith, and that Britney’s still got a chance to make a comeback.

On life after the bomb that was 2001’s Glitter album and movie and her subsequent comeback, Carey pointed to her faith as a source of strength. “You know what, I never lost my faith in God and that’s the main thing,” she noted. “For me its about my personal relationship with God and just feeling centered and just not letting anything really penetrate that. That’s something that’s sacred for me that I have for myself no matter what.”

In light of the personal crisis Carey faced in the wake of Glitter’s failure when she checked herself into a hospital to be treated for an emotional and physical breakdown, Yo also got her take on the Britster’s current travails and whether or not the pop tart can recover.

“I think anybody who loves music and is committed to the game can do whatever. I never count people out, that’s just not in my nature but that is a part of human nature, people like to do that but with me especially with making this new record, its all about the music.”

[From E!]

Mariah’s right in that she’s no Einstein, but she’s clearly gotten her act together since her breakdown. It’s cool that she doesn’t pretend to know what’s best for Britney Spears; but it’d be nice if someone pointed out to Britney that there’s another singer out there who took a pretty big fall and managed to come out even stronger for it.

Here’s Mariah Carey at MTV’s TRL on February 27, 2008. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Mariah Carey’s eleventh album, E=MC², which strikes me as way too complicated a scientific concept to be appropriated for a title for one of her albums, will be released on my least favorite day of the year, April 15. The first single, “Touch My Body,” has been given to record stations with a clip of the upcoming video online. She seems to be working the same tired windblown half-dressed angle that’s characterized her act for at least the last 10 years.

Mariah looks great now and all, but this video is total crap. She should be focusing on her lavish privileged lifestyle like all the other musicians do in their videos instead of showcasing her fading sex appeal as she seduces an insulting parody of a geek. This video makes Paris Hilton’s “Nothing in this World” look like high art. I watched “Touch My Body” a couple of times and eventually figured out that the video is taking place in the fantasy of the computer repairman, which could explain why he’s inexplicably wearing a viking helmet while romping in bed with her. It’s a symbol of his imagined virility with the self-obsessed pop star, while she’s letting us all know that her fantasy is having men believe she’s still in her 20s and in her prime. Even the song is a faded approximation of the catchy pop songs she used to put out.

Update: Everyone is pointing out to me that Mariah is making fun of herself in this video and that I should lighten up about it. They’re right, I was so blinded by my general annoyance of her that I didn’t realize it and have smacked myself on the head after realizing my mistake.

Mariah Carey is shown shopping at Gucci with her dogs on 1/29/08. That’s who she is now, she should embrace that. Thanks to Splash News.

Mariah Carey is one of those crazy celebrities that has mostly managed to make the crazy work with her instead of against her. After a much publicized breakdown a few years ago, Mariah took some time off, got her head (and whatever else was at fault) in order, and came back with her strongest music ever. But apparently she’s still not sensible enough to know that you just don’t mess with J-Lo. The two have had a longstanding feud. I have no idea over what – probably over who can hit high pitched warbly notes better. Mariah was recently asked if she’d ever appear with J-Lo.

Mimi put a swift end to speculation that she was planning to collaborate with J.Lo, by insisting it would “never happen” – and then comparing her diva rival to a pig. When asked about a possible duet by US TV show Inside Hollywood, the Hero singer fumed, “I’d rather be on stage with a pig! A duet with Jennifer Lopez and me just isn’t going to happen.”

So that’s a ‘no’ then?

Mariah recently slammed her ‘diva’ reputation, claiming she’s never been difficult to deal with.

She said: “I am baffled, shocked and appalled when I am called a diva,” she moans. “I’ve never done one diva-ish thing in my life. The actual definition of a diva is a woman who sings well. The secondary definition is a woman who is difficult to deal with. I hope I am the first, but I really don’t think I am the second. I don’t believe I am truly nasty and act in a bad way.”

[From Entertainmentwise]

She doesn’t believe that she’s truly nasty or acts in a bad way? Was that said in the same breath as the pig comment? If that doesn’t fall under her definition of acting nasty, I’m really curious to find out what does. Pulling J-Lo’s hair? Maybe throwing champagne in her face? What else are divas known for? I’m sure J-Lo is one hell of a diva, but as far as I know she’s never said she’d rather hang with a barnyard animal than a fellow singer, all the while claiming she’s no diva. I have a policy of trying not to call people fat – but I will say that a LOT of other websites chide Mimi for the Rubenesque physique she’s always stuffing into tight, 1993 style dresses. Mentioning that you consider a pig a suitable singing partner is just setting yourself up for mockery.

Note by Celebitchy: Mariah Carey has denied ever having said this, and I tend to believe her. She said “This is just some Internet gossip and it’s pathetic that people actually entertain the thought that this could be real. This is another sad example of two strong women being pit against each other.”

She should have said “This is just some Internet rumor” and added that it was fabricated. Just because people gossip on the Internet doesn’t mean it’s not true, but the finer points of logic are lost on Mariah Carey. That’s why everyone was so willing to believe she said that she preferred a singing pig to a singing Jennifer Lopez.

The lovely and subtle Mariah Carey is shown on 12/31/07 at Tao Nightclub, thanks to PRPhotos. She looks like she’s so full of shit, but she’s also managed to keep herself together for a few years as JayBird mentioned and she’s really looking good I have to say.

Mimi was in New York yesterday to launch her perfume, “M.” The singer who can break glass with her high notes showed up at Macy’s to a crowd all wanting to catch a glimpse of the diva. For $130 the fans received a bottle of her perfume and the honor of being in the presence of Mariah. But if you were willing to shell out $300 you were allowed to take a photo with Mimi in the vicinity.

Mariah Carey introduced her new perfume at Macy’s in New York yesterday, and the stench of divaliciousness was thick in the air. TMZ was on the scene where fans were stacked eight and nine deep to catch a whiff of Mimi, who arrived in a Rolls-Royce droptop, with the kind of police presence normally reserved for heads of state.

[TMZ]

If you got to close to the her you were told to back away. Dear Lord, don’t touch “The Mariah!” An “absolutely no hugs” rule was spelled out to each of the fans. The purple bottle with a butterfly that contained the scents of Moroccan incense, Tahitian flower and toasted marshmallows. I kinda thought it would smell like strippers and fear. Also, if you can recall the feud between Puff Daddy and Mariah we’ll soon have a winner. At the end of September Diddy challenged all women to crank out a scent that was better than his. Mini retorted with some quips about Diddy basically being a male slut.

“I heard about this competition, and I wish Puff all the best with his new fragrance, but I think we’re actually appealing to different types of women. M by Mariah Carey is about being unforgettable, not unforgivable. It’s not about a ménage á trois or a one night stand, it’s for the woman who wants the man to fall in love with her immediately, stay in love, and treat her like royalty.” – Mariah

Mariah Carey is shown at the launch of “M by Mariah Carey” at Macy’s Herald Square in NY on 10/23/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Mariah Carey has never struck me as a particularly bright person. She’s certainly not getting the attention other starlets are for acting like morons, but I don’t think she’s experimenting with nuclear fusion either. Okay I have no idea what that means so I shouldn’t criticize. Anyhoo, turns out Mariah is so rich and dumb (always a winning combination) that she doesn’t even know how many bathrooms she has in her 12,000 square foot Manhattan mansion. But she does know that one of them is devoted to Hello Kitty. True story. Here’s some snippets from her cover story for next month’s “Glamour.”

“Mariah Carey is living the life. Her 12,000 square foot triplex in NYC’s Tribeca district is so big she doesn’t know how many bathrooms she has. ‘I don’t know! Do you really want me to try and think about it?’ she says in the new issue of Glamour magazine. The 37-year-old singer has an entire bathroom dedicated to Hello Kitty. ‘I’ve liked Hello Kitty since I was little,” she says. She has a 3,000-square-foot closet and a separate closet just for lingerie. Check out her fabulous penthouse for yourself in the November issue of Glamour, on newsstands Wednesday, and see interview excerpts below for more classic lines from Mariah…

On her big break:
“I was about 20. I went from having $5 to getting a publishing advance of $1 million.”

On what advice she’d give to Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears:
“I wouldn’t want to speak to those people specifically, but I would say you need to be very centered, and spiritually know where you’re at, all the time. Don’t read the tabloids. Don’t be obsessed with what people are writing or saying. Live your life for you. My lifestyle has changed since making it. It’s not a financial struggle, but I’m still struggling in a lot of ways.”

On her difficult childhood:
“I felt really bizarre as a kid. Mostly because I come from an interracial family [Carey’s mother is Irish and her father is African-American and Venezuelan], and because we didn’t have a lot of money and we moved around a lot. Living in the suburbs is a place that’s all about fitting in. I remember after one particularly bad incident, one of my mother’s friends said in front of me, ‘If this kid makes it, it will be a miracle.’”

On wishing she was a genie:
“Wouldn’t it be really hot if I could just blink and change my outfit right now? How amazing would that be?”

On what she wears during downtime:
“…whenever I’m outside, I want to be in a hot tub. I’m a water person. I would jump in the hot tub in the middle of our interview if it weren’t so freakin’ cold out! But usually when I’m just hanging around, I wear boxers and a tank.”

On adolescence:
“Mariah at 12 was a wreck. I accidentally dyed my hair orange. I shaved my eyebrows. Wore blue eyeliner. Disgusting!”

On whether she believes in love:
“With a human being I don’t know, but definitely with a pet. [Laughs.] I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a relationship of the caliber I write about in my love songs.”

[From Us Weekly]

Okay so she didn’t come off as stupid as I thought, I take it back. I like that she corrected the interviewer’s question by saying she wouldn’t tell Lindsay or Britney specifically what to do, but that it was important to find balance. Mariah famously had a meltdown on TRL a few years ago, but she took some time to herself, really regrouped, and came back with her strongest albums ever. She said she broke down due to stress and work and other things, so it’s impossible to know if drugs or alcohol played a part. But she stepped away, got her life together, and came back better than ever. That’d be great for some other famous ladies to think about.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s Mariah Carey at the Save The Music 10th Anniversary Gala on September 20th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Want to look as good as Mariah Carey? It’s not simple, even by Hollywood standards. She goes a little further than the traditional diet/exercise/plastic surgery route, and had nine assistants when on red carpet duty at the VH1 Save The Music Gala.

The diva’s nine assistants performed a string of maintenance functions on her all night, keeping her flawless throughout.

One handmaiden was exclusively responsible for dispensing breast tape, reports the New York Daily News.

Another assistant wore a belt with brushes and hair spray to the dinner, while a third brought portable hot rollers.

Zee News

Obviously the hot rollers wouldn’t fit on the plumbers belt the other hair assistant was carrying of brushes. But the listed jobs only account for three of the assistants, what were the other six doing? Two for make up, one to keep an eye on her dress, one to position her into flattering angles for photos…I can’t think of any more you’d need.

Mariah doesn’t just have all this on the spot airbrushing to help her. She also has some diet tips to share.

“My secret is bleak diets,” People quoted Carey, as telling the reporters. A bleak diet consists of “basically soups and fish prepared really blandly.

Carrey also expressed her desire to improve her look. “I still feel like I have a way to go,” she said. But, the 38-year-old singer also insisted that she would never loose her womanly curves.

“I don’t feel like you have to be a size zero. We should all just embrace who we are physically. I’m not supposed to be a stick figure girl. It’s just not me,” Carey said.

Times of India
We might all be able to go on a ‘bleak diet’ (aren’t all diets bleak?) but somehow I can’t see us all being able to have nine assistants to help with the beauty routine. Doesn’t Mariah have any friends? Doesn’t she know that when you’re single, you go out with your girlfriends and they tell you when you need to reapply that lippy, tuck in those tits and peel the toilet paper off your shoes? Or is that for those of us who are cheap, and won’t pay our girlfriends to stay sober enough to recognize a wardrobe malfunction?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Mariah Carey is shown on 9/20/07 at the VH1 Save The Music 10th Anniversary Gala. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Now, Mariah Carey giving a publicist-censored interview may not be news, but this is the woman who had this to say about famine.

“When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

snopes.com

Actually, she didn’t really say it, but I wish she had. Still, describing sleeping as ‘tough’ would have to be up there on the ’strange statements to make’ list.

“It’s a fun record - it’s been my obsession. Look, to me, that I’m able to do what I love for a living is a gift from God. I could be doing something I hate every day. Yes, sometimes it’s tough because I’ve got to sleep 15 hours to sing the way I want to. It’s not easy because my vocal chords are different than most people’s. But that aside, this album has been so much fun because I’m writing with a lot different people but mainly a lot of rappers and I will bring something to the table that they wouldn’t have and vice versa.”

Perez Hilton

Maybe that’s what’s holding me back from singing like a diva, as opposed to like a cat with a stepped on tail. I just need to get 15 hours of sleep a night. How much I would love to get fifteen hours a night. I don’t think I’d find it tough at all.

I wonder if Britney could ever make a comeback like this? Remember when Mariah was a pariah, having made Glitter and the accompanying bad soundtrack? And then suddenly, she was back, number one everywhere and looking damn hot. Britney, you could do this.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Mariah Carey is shown performing on 9/11/06. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Remember a few years ago, when Mariah Carey went all crazy and started stripping her clothes off on TV? Well apparently that moment - and the several other bizarre/awkward ones she’d had around that time – wasn’t a breakdown, it was a breakthrough. And why did this all happen? Exhaustion, working herself way too hard, and her crazily driven work ethic. Supposedly. I’m sure drugs and alcohol had nothing to do with it. In her upcoming interview with “Interview” magazine, Carey talks about that much publicized time in her life.

“Pop star Mariah Carey has no regrets about her infamous 2001 nervous breakdown, now describing her public disintegration as an emotional ‘breakthrough’.

“The ‘Without You’ singer was treated for extreme exhaustion in July 2001 following her eccentric behaviour during a couple of public appearances.

“But Carey insists she needed to “hit rock bottom” to comprehend what her non-stop work ethic was doing to her.
“She tells American magazine Interview: ‘I’m far from perfect. I’m still learning. I overworked myself, and I paid the price. I consider the breakdown a breakthrough. I needed to hit rock bottom. I needed to understand the cost of pushing so hard; fighting so hard against the system.

“’But was I out of control at that moment? Yes.’”

[From Ireland Online]

Well it’s good that she’s honest and says she was out of control, but does anyone believe it when a celebrity says whatever massive issue they have is attributable to exhaustion? That’s like saying your leg fell off from a splinter. The cause just doesn’t naturally lead to such an extreme effect. Either way, Mariah Carey is one of those people who’s always seemed delusional and off-kilter. Maybe it wasn’t substance related, maybe it was just her own natural crazy working its way through her system. Or maybe she just has the words breakthrough and breakdown mixed up; she’s never struck me as that bright. But she has put out the best music of her career since her breakdown, so maybe there’s some truth to it. Or maybe crazy = genius.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Mariah at the 2007 Fresh Air Fund Salute to American Heroes in June. Image thanks to PR Photos.