Whenever I think of Kate Major and Michael Lohan’s relationship, I remember an interview she did on Dr. Drew, in November, 2011, while Micheal was in jail for abusing her. She talked about the physical and emotional abuse he’d inflicted on her, and said that he was threatening that he would release a sex tape he made of the two of them, without her knowledge. (At that point he’d already released nude photos of her, taken while she was asleep.) Kate also had to confront one of Michael’s other lovers on Dr. Drew, a woman who claimed to have dated him during the time that he was supposed to be serious with Kate.

So not only did Michael Lohan beat Kate Major, he was also cheating on her. For her part, Kate had some serious issues of her own, with at least two arrests for drunken violent behavior (not involving Lohan). She went to rehab in late 2011.

The incident Major was being interviewed about was just one of many abusive situations we’ve heard between these two, as well as one in a long list of Michael being abusive toward the women in his life. So this latest news, that these two just had a baby together, is one I’ll approach with a lot of apprehension. Also, Michael got Kate pregnant while she had a restraining order against him. Classy. Here’s more:

Big day for Michael Lohan … his daughter escaped jail … and his fiancee just gave birth to a BOUNCING BABY BOY!!!

While Lindsay was sweatin’ it out in court, Kate Major went into labor at a Florida hospital.

We’re told Kate gave birth to a son — Landon Major Lohan — at 11:39 AM PT.

The baby weighed in at 19 3/4 inches, 7 lbs 5 oz … and is already wanted in 3 states (kidding!).

We’re told Michael was with Kate the entire time … and even cut the umbilical cord.

A rep for the family tells us baby, Michael and Kate are all doing great.

[From TMZ]

I’ve already said my piece about these people, and I just hope for the sake of that baby that they can change. Michael Lohan has shown his true colors many, many times over the years I’ve been covering celebrity gossip, so it’s hard to see how he’ll ever be more than a despicable conniving piece of sh*t, but I could be wrong.

Moving on, the name Landon is interesting. I’ve never heard it before, and it reminds me of the late Michael Landon, whom I think of as a decent guy. It does have a very trendy kind of quality to it, but it’s not a bad name. Congrats?

Photos from events are from 2010. Credit: WENN.com

On Monday we saw a new interview that Dina Lohan gave The NY Daily News in which she said, “Lindsay is messed up because her father is messed up.” It was notable to me not because Dina was continuing the Lohan family tradition of deflecting blame and never being accountable for anything, but because she was finally admitting that Lindsay had a problem. When Dina isn’t repeating the “Lindsay is fine, she is concentrating on her work” mantra, something is definitely off.

In that same interview, Dina accused her ex husband, Michael Lohan, of ongoing abuse during their relationship and mentioned an incident in 1986 in which he blackened her eye. Michael, who was also quoted in the article, admitted slapping Dina back then, but claimed it was self defense. Dina also described allegedly being raped by Michael while they were estranged in 1990. He claims it was consensual and that Dina reported it as rape as payback because he was cheating on her. I believe Dina given the overwhelming evidence that Michael abuses his partners. End of story.

In conjunction with her NY Daily News article, Dina shared (sold) photos of herself with a black eye in 1986. ET has those pictures here. Dina is seen holding a baby, who is probably baby Lindsay considering that she was born in 1986.

Again, this isn’t surprising and of course Dina was abused by Michael, he’s a POS. Why is she telling this to the press now, though? I’m thinking this is her crackie way of trying to tell Lindsay that she’s in deep trouble and needs help. This is the first time we’ve ever heard an admission from Dina that Lindsay is not ok, isn’t it? Does this mean that Lindsay is so far gone at this point that even Dina is trying to tell her she has issues? Remember, Dina was in London partying with Lindsay for New Year’s. My theory is that something went down and Dina is now actually worried about her daughter. For Dina to finally wise up, it had to be major. Or maybe Dina just got cut off by Lindsay and she needs the cash from selling her abuse photos. I don’t know why I’m getting my hopes up.

Also, fingers crossed that Lindsay finally gets sent to jail for more than a week or two. A long stint inside might finally get her to sober up, but I doubt that either of those things are going to happen.

Dina and Lindsay are shown on 9-14-12 (cleavage dress, credit: FameFlynet) and 12-30-12 (fur coat, credit: Pacific Coast News)

In the ongoing trainwreck that is Lindsay Lohan’s life, is there any shadow of a doubt that her mother is her worst enabler? Her mother, the one who accompanied her to a “paid party” this New Year’s sponsored by Prince Azim of Brunei. Her mother, the one who regularly gets wasted with her daughter, does interviews wasted, and denies that her daughter has any problems whatsoever. It’s exhausting to try and recap the messiness in Lindsay Lohan’s life, but her mother has been there, denying and blaming and lying the entire time. There’s little doubt who taught Lindsay that a sense of entitlement, a total lack of personal responsibility, and a propensity to lie your ass off are completely acceptable coping skills.

So it’s not surprising to hear Dina blame her ex husband for all of Lindsay’s problems. What’s surprising to me is that Dina is finally admitting that Lindsay has a problem. Did Lindsay and her mom have another big fight on New Year’s and is this payback? Did Lindsay tell her mom not to cut in on her international profits?

In a new interview with the NY Daily News, Dina goes into details about a rape she claims she suffered from her ex, Micheal Lohan, when they were estranged in 1990; Michael claims it was consensual and that Dina accused him of rape as payback. (Dina’s children did not witness the rape.) Michael also claims that Dina’s allegations of physical abuse are inaccurate and that she hit him first. Given vagina-kicker Michael’s history of abusing the women in his life, I believe Dina. She’s delusional if she think that Lindsay’s problems are entirely due to Michael, but this isn’t new from her. Here are some excerpts from the interview. There’s more at the source if you’re interested.

“Michael beat the hell out of me,” Dina said, of the 1986 incident memorialized in a family snapshot of the young mother holding her baby girl — Lindsay — while sporting a huge purple bruise under her right eye.

“When Lindsay saw the photo, she was furious,” said Dina. “She said, ‘Tell the world! Talk about it!’ ”

According to Dina, Lindsay was affected by all that she saw as a child — and she’s not to blame for her faltering career or oddball antics.

“She saw a lot of crazy stuff. I want the world to know the root of her problems…”

“Lindsay saw all the beatings and all the abuse. She said, ‘Stay, mommy, don’t leave,’ ” said Dina.

Recently, Dina said, her adult daughter expressed regret for those words.

“She said, ‘I’m so sorry for making you stay.’ But I didn’t stay for Lindsay — I wanted all my kids to be happy,” said Dina.

“Like many victims of domestic violence and rape, I was embarrassed and afraid. I was very young . . . I thought I could keep fixing him,” Dina said.
She said she came forward now to “set the record straight. I need to make the world aware that Lindsay is messed up because her father is messed up.”

Michael said he believes Dina is seeking cover from criticism of her own parenting decisions.

“She’s bringing this up now because she’s drinking and partying with Lindsay. And she keeps robbing Lindsay,” he said, claiming that his actress daughter is his ex-wife’s main source of income. “She is the devil.”

Lindsay, who has her share of legal problems, is expected to appear in Manhattan Criminal Court Monday to see if she’ll face charges for a catfight she got into with a Florida palm reader in a Chelsea nightclub’s VIP room in November.

[From The NY Daily News]

I can’t with these people, they’re all awful, and I’m including their crackhead daughter in that mix. The Lohans are trashier than any reality television family going, and they don’t even rate reality TV anymore.

In the ongoing, constant news about Lindsay’s string of legal problems, there’s an update from TMZ on her court case today. Wouldn’t you know it, the crackhead skated again. Of course she did! After partying until 5am Saturday morning in London, she didn’t bother to get her paid-for ass on a plane and back to New York City for her scheduled court appearance. She didn’t need to make up an excuse about “losing” her passport this time, because the case was delayed. And here I was hoping that New York justice would be swifter than California justice. In case you forgot which crack-scuffle this case pertained to (I did!) it had to do with her punching that “psychic” in a nightclub in November.

You know what this reminds me about? Michael Lohan is still expecting a baby with Kate Major. That’s going to be epic.

Dina Lohan and Lindsay are shown out in London on 12-30-12. Credit: Optic Photos, PacificCoastNews.com

As we discussed yesterday, there was a boatload of Lohan drama over the weekend. The whole mess began on Friday, when Michael Lohan and some people showed up at Lindsay’s Beverly Hills home (?) to do an “intervention”. Lindsay wouldn’t let them in and she called the police on Michael, and it was just a typical Lohan mess. Lindsay let TMZ know that her dad is awful and Dina chimed in as well (using her own name, not “Steve Honig”). Well, there are some new developments, and they’re just as crackie as everything else. First, Michael tells TMZ that the intervention WAS sanctioned by the Cracken’s team of enablers, because Lindsay’s partying is so out of control, it’s even starting to bother them:

Michael Lohan was NOT ALONE in orchestrating an emergency intervention on Lindsay Friday — and TMZ has seen emails proving that her ENTIRE team, including her lawyers and her manager … were 100% on board.

The emails are between Michael, Evan Hainey (LiLo’s manager) Dave Feldman (entertainment lawyer) and Shawn Holley (criminal defense lawyer). The emails were sent between Sept. 23rd and Oct. 18th (the day before Michael’s intervention).

Michael emailed Evan and Shawn on Sept. 23rd, claiming he had been informed by several people Lindsay was “drinking between a bottle and a bottle and a half of vodka per day” adding, “I have seen the empty bottles and even cocaine in her room at Chateau.”

Michael continues, “She is AGAIN, taking pills to keep her up and to sleep (adderall)!! I even know that she is and was drinking during work as far back as Liz and Dick!”

Michael then pleads, “I am asking you to PLEASE PLEASE find a way to get her to LA toward the end of the first week of October or the beginning of the second so we can do an intervention and FINALLY end this madness!”

LiLo’s manager Evan responds the same day to Michael and Shawn, “I am hearing the same things.” Evan continues, Lindsay will fly back to L.A. Oct 15th — and they should plan an intervention for that week. Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn responds unequivocally, “Let’s do it.”

On Oct. 12th Michael and LiLo’s entertainment lawyer, Dave, sent multiple emails to each other — planning a conference call with a well-known interventionist, named Earl Hightower. Then on Oct. 18th (the day before the intervention) Michael sent an email to Evan … revealing a plan to confront LiLo at her Bev Hills home.

According to text messages from Oct 19th, which we have also seen, the group decided Michael would confront LiLo FIRST … and everyone else would show up afterwards. TMZ broke the story … the emergency intervention floundered — Michael showed up to Lindsay’s pad, but she turned him away and called the cops … which put a kabosh on the whole thing.

[From TMZ]

Does anyone have any doubt that Lindsay is consuming that much alcohol? Does anyone have any doubt that she’s also popping pills, doing lines and probably a lot more? I’m here to tell you – none of this is anything new. And if you believe she’s a Crack Monster, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to believe Michael Lohan. Also: where was Steve Honig on this email chain? Oh, right.

Now, TMZ also spoke to Lindsay’s siblings, including ALI! Ali has been “missing” for months. Allegedly, she went to South Korea to model, and this is the first time we’ve heard anything about her since then. Ali spoke to her father directly through her statement to TMZ: “Please stop waging your own personal war against my family. We don’t need you to intervene because we can take care of ourselves without you, as we have been all these years.” Michael Jr. said, “I think it’s unfortunate that the public had to be unwittingly invited into the lives of my family members due to my father’s lies” and Cody says, “I have no good memories of my so called father. He has never been part of my life, he needs to leave my family alone.” TMZ points out that none of them actually contradicts what Michael Lohan has said about Lindsay.

So, what’s the next step in this crack drama? Allegedly, Michael is going to go to court and try to get Lindsay put in some kind of conservatorship, like Britney Spears has. Except the Cracken is totally f—king broke (if not millions of dollars in debt), and there really isn’t much to “protect” or “conserve” you know? Unless you’re trying to “conserve” Lindsay’s health, in which case HAHAHAHA. Yeah. She will never submit to it, and the California court system has already given up on her. Blah. Another day, another crack drama.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ugh, time for more Lindsay Lohan crap. As we discussed yesterday, Lindsay is back in LA after her whirlwind crack-extravaganza in New York, and LL is even back to hanging out at the Chateau Marmont, because that’s never a recipe for full-on disaster. People Mag even has a nice little story about Lindsay’s activities at the Marmont on Thursday – she showed up Thursday night with some friends around 10 p.m., and a source says, “Lindsay was very talkative and led much of the conversation. The group shared hot tea and late night salads. Lindsay definitely seemed at ease and in high spirits as they enjoyed a low-key night.” Late-night salads? Is that some kind of crack code? People Mag’s source says she took a “tense” call at one point, then rejoined her friends. Blah. And you know what we have to look forward to now? Lindsay’s promotional tour in support of Liz & Dick. For real. The Lifetime movie comes out in late November, and Crackie is trying to wring as much publicity out of it as she can. Which leads me to this:

Lindsay Lohan will continue her chatty streak (following her appearance on TMZ Live this week) and will sit down for a one-on-one interview with the legendary Barbara Walters … TMZ has learned. Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ she has been close to Walters for years and that Barbara reached out to her about doing an interview when it was announced she’d playing Liz Taylor in the upcoming “Liz & Dick” biopic.

We’re told LiLo has been hesitant about sit-down interviews because she fears being asked questions she’s not prepared for. But our sources say Lindsay trusts Barbara not to take things too far. According to our sources, Lindsay and Barbara will sit down sometime in the next few weeks. We’re told the interview will focus on the parallels between the lives of Lindsay and Liz Taylor — things like child stardom, a rough childhood, living life in the public, and also dealing with addiction.

Our sources say the plan is for the interview to air next month to coincide with the premiere of “Liz & Dick.”

[From TMZ]

I don’t really trust Barbara Walters at this point. Maybe I never did. But I doubt the interview will be anything other than a hot mess of crack-denials, crack-squawking and crack-tears, and I doubt Barbara will call her out on any of her BS. As for the “comparisons” to Elizabeth Taylor – STFU.

Meanwhile, there’s even more crack drama with Lindsay’s parents. I know, shocking. TMZ reports that Dina is “pressuring” Lindsay to take out a restraining order/protection order against Michael Lohan, which would mean that Michael couldn’t even email, text or call Lindsay without being in violation. TMZ’s sources say that Lindsay isn’t convinced by Dina, and thinks that the protection order is “too extreme”. Michael told TMZ, “I suppose Dina got wind that I want the court and Child Protective Services to investigate her!” He also contacted Page Six and had a lot to say too:

Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael, is “very upset” with the crowd his daughter has been hanging with in New York, and insists there “will be changes.”

After Lohan finished shooting Bret Easton Ellis’ movie “The Canyons” in LA, she’d been in a series of Big Apple disasters, from a W Hotel dust-up with a Congressional aide to an alleged fight with mother Dina after partying till the wee hours in Chelsea.

Michael says it’s the crowd surrounding Lindsay in New York that’s the bad influence, and he wants her to get back to focusing on her career.

“I am very upset with the crowd around Lindsay,” he told Page Six in an e-mail, targeting one pal in particular. He also warned Lindsay’s pals, “My advice to ALL the negative influences in Lindsay and my other children’s lives is, this time, you have crossed the line and bitten off a lot more than you can chew! My family will not be subject to your misguided morals and ways!”

Michael also vowed that things will change in his daughter’s life. “There WILL BE changes!! Just watch,” he wrote.

[From Page Six]

How many times are they going to blame the people around Lindsay? What is she, 26 years old? And she’s been acting like a crackhead for at least eight years now. At some point, doesn’t everyone have to acknowledge that Lindsay has problems because of WHO and WHAT she is, as opposed to the people around her? That being said, Lindsay should completely cut off her gang of crack-sycophants, including both of her parents. It won’t change who she is, but it would probably just be cheaper.

PS… Her wonky fake tan makes her look like she has jaundice.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

To recap yesterday’s cracktastrophe and all of that, go here. Basic story: Lindsay Lohan and Dina got into a fight after a long night of clubbing, drinking, smoking and snorting. The fight started in the car and it ended up with 9-1-1 being called and Lindsay’s precious, unblemished body being RUINED by her mother’s claw (Dina scratched Lindsay – bitches should be checked for rabies). Well, a lot has happened since then. First, go here to see the super-posed photos of Dina and Lindsay saying goodbye to each other yesterday, after a long 24-hour period of crack drama. They both look like they’re ready to scratch each other’s eyes out still. So what exactly went down? Here’s what we know:

*Dina and Lindsay both spent all of Wednesday morning together in Long Island, with the police in tow. The police were probably laughing their asses off.

*While Dina and Lindsay were fighting with each other in the limo (because why not?), Lindsay called her father to complain. Oh, I’m sorry. This phone call is being billed as a “hysterical plea for help”. Yeah, it’s hysterical alright. Here’s the audio (note: I could only get about 50 seconds into it before I turned it off in disgust.)

*In the audio – which was apparently recorded by Michael Lohan – Lindsay claims Dina is “on cocaine…She’s like touching her neck, and s—t.” Lindsay also mentions (“mentions” = crack squawks) that she gave her mother $40,000 and Lindsay had asked for it back. Apparently, Dina asked for the money to save her house from foreclosure, but Lindsay NEEDED the money back (gee, I wonder why?). Lindsay also says, “She’s saying disgusting things to me … I’m dead to her now.” Somebody is calling somebody “nuts” and Lindsay says at one point, “This is what you do. You ruin people. She’s like the f–king devil right now. I have a gash on my leg from what happened.”

*Michael Lohan also made sure to give Radar an exclusive too – he says that Lindsay told Dina that Dina belongs in rehab. Hahahahahaha. If that isn’t the crackie calling the Mother Crackhead a crack monster. Michael also says that Lindsay told him that Dina is “trying to destroy her.” Sure. Why not?

So, in the end, what did we learn from all of this nonsense? That Dina is just as much of a f—king mess as her daughter, although I think we already knew that after the Dr. Phil interview, right? We also learned – in my mind, definitively – that Dina Lohan truly IS Steve Honig. If this was any other crack drama involving Lindsay and the cops, “Steve Honig” would have been all over this was some really spectacular denial. Instead, “Steve Honig” has been silent. Probably because “Steve Honig” = Mother Crackie, and Mother Crackie was talking to the cops for hours and hours.

Photos courtesy of PR Photos and Pacific Coast News.

For the most part, I’m happy to ignore Michael Lohan. I wish he didn’t exist, and he’s completely worthless (at best) and (at worst) a violent, abusive, vagina-kicker. But Michael Lohan does exist, out there in the world, when he’s not in jail for DUIs or kickin’ vadges. For more than a year, Michael had an on-and-off relationship (that’s seriously the best way I can say it) with former Star Magazine reporter Kate Major. Major also had a brief affair with Jon Gosselin, and after Gosselin dumped her, Major started up with Michael Lohan. It’s not like Major and Lohan have some great love affair or anything – she’s called the cops on him, he’s called the cops on her, she’s given interviews about his physical abuse, and CB is sure that Kate has a drinking problem to boot. Michael has substance abuse problems as well, just FYI. The last time CB wrote about Major was January of this year, when Major was arrested in Florida (where else?) for beating the crap out of her neighbors and being a violent, racist, crazy bitch.

So you know where this is headed. This delicate flower and her immortal beloved have made a baby together.

There’s going to be a new addition to the Lohan litter — but fear not … it’s not Lindsay who’s preggers. TMZ has learned Lindsay’s gonna have another sibling, courtesy of Kate Major and Michael Lohan.

According to our sources, Kate is in her first trimester. But get this … the restraining order she had against MiLo was lifted lifted only a few weeks ago … so the act of conception was illegal.

Our sources say Michael has not told Lindsay or any of his other children the happy news yet. So Lindsay, we’re pleased to inform you you’re gonna have a brother or sister to whom you can teach the ropes.

A rep for the couple confirms the pregnancy, but wouldn’t comment further.

[From TMZ]

So… yeah. This is probably happening. Only Michael Lohan would get a woman pregnant WHILE SHE HAD A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM. So trashy. So typical. I’m going to light a candle for this poor baby.

Kate Major has a Twitter too – she hasn’t confirmed the news yet, but she has been tweeting about going to church and being on a “health kick”. So…I don’t even know.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Whoever set up this new “DialAStar” (link has automatic sound) business venture is a genius. Just charge people exorbitant fees to talk to D-listers and reality stars, and then pocket 50% of the profits. “Celebrities,” porn and reality stars charge anywhere from $10 to $25 a minute, and for that bargain price you can talk to them about topics that they’re comfortable with. Dial-a-star participants include Octomom, Tila Tequila, Dina and Michael Lohan, Kate Major, Crystal Harris and former Charlie Sheen victim Capri Anderson. Here’s more on the service, thanks to TMZ:

Forget “Real Housewives” … Danielle Staub is now earning over $1,000 AN HOUR to chat on the phone with fans … and here’s a shocker, she doesn’t even need to talk dirty.

The former reality villain has joined forces with a website called Dial-A-Star.com … connecting fans with z-list celebs at a premium price … Staub gets $18-per-minute.

And she isn’t the only one cashing in …

Tila Tequila ——– $20-per-minute
Dina Lohan ——- $18-per-minute
OctoMom ———- $12-per-minute
Michael Lohan — $10-per-minute

There’s more … including “Jersey Shore” cast-off Angelina Pivarnick, Charlie Sheen’s tryst Capri Anderson, and Hugh Hefner’s ex-fiancee Crystal Harris.

We’re told the site’s been blowing up since it launched last week … with Staub taking the honors as the top earner … raking in $6,000 in calls since the launch. Angelina and Michael Lohan are tied for second with over $3,000 each, followed by Octomom at $1,260.

[From TMZ]

I’m a “journalist” and could potentially call up to get some quotes from Michael or Dina Lohan, or maybe even the Octomom. The FAQ for the site specifies that the “celebrities” have topics they’re willing to talk about, meaning that while Michael Lohan is probably up from some dirty/violent talk, his ex wife will just drunkenly shoot you down and slur about how Lindsay is a working actress slandered by the media. (Danielle Staub or Tila Tequila would be game for it though.) Plus it would cost me from $600 to $1500 an hour for the privilege! Even if I could get either of these fools to open up over the phone, it’s not like their quotes are worth that much. They’ve saturated the media with their family drama already, and we know Octo is just batsh*t and old news. So maybe this isn’t that genius of an idea. I’d rather talk to Miss Cleo and know where my future is headed. The psychics cost as low as a dollar a minute and they’re probably friendlier and easier to talk to. For $60 you only get a commercial break’s time with Dina Lohan.

Header is from 9-14-11. Image below is from 2-10-12. Credit: WENN and Fame

My first thought on reading this story: “Did Radar pay $10 a minute to talk to Micheal Lohan because these quotes must have been expensive.” But no, I’m sure Michael has them on speed dial and they only take his calls on slow news days and/or when his daughter does something exceptionally stupid, which as we know is relative for Lindsay. Yesterday we heard a porn star dish to some radio station about how he had sex with Lindsay Lohan while her father was sleeping in the same house. The guy even insinuated that Lindsay paid him for his services, which is better than the money going up her nose I guess. Well now Michael Lohan has chimed in, and he said this never happened, and if it did he would have seriously hurt the guy. Well, maybe he’s right. The guy sleeping upstairs was probably another old dude that Lindsay just claimed was her dad, but was really her 10:30 date. Lindsay doesn’t let her dad in the house anyway.

“This delusional moron wishes he had a nanosecond alone with Lindsay!” Lohan charged. “If I ever caught a guy having sex with my daughter in my house I’d be in jail the rest of my life, especially a dirtball porn star.

“I’m a light sleeper. I would never be asleep while my kids were in the house and awake.

“Another worm crawling out of the woodwork trying to get some publicity. But this time, it’s a person that doesn’t even have respect for himself, never mind Lindsay or anyone else. To begin with, not at ANY time that I was with my family or Lindsay at our home, or anywhere, did I go to sleep before my children did.

“Or allow any man/male and especially a sleazebag, alone with Lindsay. Can you imagine ME, Michael Lohan, of all fathers, allowing my daughter(s) to be alone with any guy while I was present? Ha ha!

“And if, by chance, a dirtball like Voodoo, snuck in, he wouldn’t have made it out. Last but not least, Lindsay would NEVER stoop to the level of this neophyte. (The lowest form of living organism on earth).

“Sad, very sad. I pity him.”

[From Radar]

This is a guy who secretly taped his daughter’s (and everyone else’s) phone calls and sold tapes to the press of Lindsay crying and begging for help during what she assumed was a private phone call with her family. This is also the guy who photographed at least two of his ex girlfriends nude and then sold the photos to the press after they inevitably received his fists full of anger (and some kicks to the crotch for good measure). But he would “protect” his daughter by beating up a guy she was having consensual sex with, that she probably paid dearly for. What a great dad.

Here’s Michael and a woman described as “his new girlfriend” on 2-12-12. There are a lot of women with low self esteem in this world. Credit: WENN.com. He’s also shown on 3-16-12. Credit: FameFlynet

I’m not too familiar with reading police reports. The lengthy one on TMZ describing the drunken, abusive antics of Kate Major, a former Star Magazine reporter better known as both Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin’s ex, makes me think that writing police reports must be a pain in the ass. Like how do cops remember and retall all the crazy things that whacked out perps do while on their watch? I would be inclined to write “bitch was crazy” when describing someone like Kate Major, who attacked two of her neighbors seemingly without provocation, resisted arrest while shouting obscenities, and continued her antics at the police station, where she was again belligerent and slapped a cop. I’ll let TMZ tell the Cliff Notes version of this story, but to get the full report you can read the PDF linked there. This has a really priceless mugshot too.

Kate Major is a racist, boob-punching, foul-mouthed, cop-assaulting criminal … if you believe the police report filed after her arrest in Boca Raton this weekend.

It’s insane — according to the report, obtained by TMZ, cops were called to an apartment parking lot around 9:45 PM on Saturday night … after Michael Lohan’s ex-GF was observed beating the crap out of a man and his wife.

Cops say … when they arrived to the scene, Major was being restrained on the ground by several people who saw her attack Rosario Tapia and Juan Jimenez.

The officer who wrote the police report explained, ‘I attempted to speak with Major, who was screaming and yelling obscenities at Tapia, calling her a ‘fat f**k’ and a ‘b*tch’.”

Jimenez told police … he has NO IDEA why he and his wife were attacked … but explained he and Tapia pulled into the parking lot and noticed someone had parked in their assigned space. So they were waiting for another spot to open … when Major came bolting towards the car out of nowhere.

Jimenez claims Major opened the door and went crazy — calling him and his wife “several racial names” before Major attacked his wife in the hands, breast and face.

When cops tried to arrest Major, police say she resisted arrest and tried to kick the officers.

Major was eventually arrested for battery and transported to a nearby jail — where she was an EVEN BIGGER pain in the ass, according to the report.

Cops say she yelled at police — and tried to make a break for it. At one point, cops say, she slapped the arresting officer and called him a “fat f**k.”

She was later charged with resisting arrest with violence and battery on a police officer.

Major has since been released from custody … but it sounds like this situation is far from over.

[From TMZ]

This chick just got out of 30 days in rehab a little over a week ago. She appeared as a guest on “Celebrity Rehab,” where her dysfunctional relationship with Michael Lohan played out in front of the camera. I guess the season aired last fall, and I just saw an awful clip from it on the best clips of 2011 episode of “The Soup.” Kate was crying and asked Michael why he was still with her, and he yelled something about how she would take it in any hole. He phrased it ever so slightly less crass than that, but that’s exactly what he meant. That sounds like a risky prospect for both of them, and I’ll just leave it at that.

Oh and in the police report they state that Kate’s roommate was with her when she decided to confront the neighbors by pulling them out of their car and yelling racist remarks at them. Then the roommate claims she was somehow absent and left the scene when Kate started to get physical. There’s more to this story than we’re being told, but it boils down to this chick being a mean drunken mess.

Mug shot via FameFlynet. Other photos are from 2010, credit: WENN.com