Seriously: what is up with the orange-purple combinations lately? The only answer I can come up with is some kind of fashion-industry hive-mind, because it’s literally impossible to me that designers around the world saw photos of Cheryl Cole in her tragic purple, orange and turquoise ensemble and thought “I should do that!” Is the fashion industry punking us? Ugh. Anyway, as you can see, once Kim Kardashian adopts a trend, that trend is pretty much dead. Kim is wearing “the new thing” – a Gucci ensemble in purple and orange. Just like Cheryl Cole:

And just like Jessica Alba:

WTF? I don’t get this. To me, this color combination is cartoonish, not chic. It’s Tim Burton’s Joker, not Christopher Nolan’s Joker. It’s just unflattering. Of course, Kim’s ensemble is especially bad. She should not wear belly shirts. Her Size 4 is spilling out.

By the way, did you hear that Kim is definitely going to get a pre-nup? According to Us Weekly/Hollywood Life, “Her mom, Kris Jenner, drew up the contracts…Kim’s Beverly Hills home and all of her assets are protected. Additionally, she keeps anything she earns during the marriage.” Apparently, Kim has a lot more in the way of assets than Kris Humphries. She’s worth $65 million, and she’s pulling in $12 million a year. I’ve read that Kris only makes, like, $3 million a year. “Only.” I know.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are some new photos of Kate Hudson and her fiancé and baby-daddy Matthew Bellamy out and about in LA yesterday. They were actually at a baseball field, watching Ryder play with his team. Lots of people have been noting that Bellamy seems to have put on some “sympathy weight” during Kate’s pregnancy. I kind of love when that happens – I think it’s shows that the soon-to-be mom and dad are totally bonded. Probably because I associate food with love? Yeah. Anyway, you can kind of see that Bellamy is working a gut here. And Kate is pretty big too – doesn’t it seem like she got really pregnant really fast? But she’s carrying much differently now than she did with Ryder. Do you remember what she looked like during her first pregnancy? It all went to her face, I swear. It was awesome.

In other Kate-and-Matt news, Star Magazine has a story that I don’t think much of. They’re claiming that Matt and Kate are in the midst of a huge battle over money. More specifically, over the pre-nup that Kate’s demanding. The source says:

“Kate and Matt are clashing over money issues… and it may destroy any chance they have of getting married. Their relationship was in a much healthier place before her put a ring on her finger.”

Kate is insisting on a pre-nup because she has more money than Matthew, and the proposed agreement is tougher on him than her.

“He would be on a payment plan of sorts, where he is allotted a certain amount of money annually… and if he cheats, he will lose everything, but if she cheats, no harm, no foul. The fighting over the pre-nup has soured the experience… they may not get married at all. They may just stay engaged, or even split up.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

I don’t believe this because I don’t really think Kate gives a crap about money in general. I mean, she cares about buying things and working and stuff, but she’s not one of those people who prioritize the big paychecks. Now, is it possible that they’re fighting? Sure. Is it possible that Kate thinks it would be no big deal if she cheated on Matt? Sure. But it’s just as likely, in my mind, that they are totally loved up and blissed out right now.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

I haven’t been paying much attention to Jessica Simpson lately. In my mind, she’s been keeping a much lower profile over the past month, and she’s been taking pains to not shove her engagement to her K-Fed in our faces. It’s been kind of nice. Now, I don’t really think these tabloid stories are Jessica’s doing at all, mostly because they make her look so… pathetic. But there are several tabloid stories this week, so either the tab editors were just bored, or there really is some trouble in gold-digger paradise. First up – a sketchy interview with Eric Johnson’s ex-wife’s aunt. The aunt believes Eric is a famewhore who is only with Jessica for the money and attention. Oh, and the aunt believes her niece (Eric’s ex-wife) is utterly blameless is everything:

Jessica Simpson does not look like an ecstatic bride-to-be – and things may only get worse! Along with a recent public meltdown over her weight struggles, Star has learned from family members close to Eric Johnson’s ex-wife, Keri, that Jessica’s future husband may not have the best intentions.

“I think Eric is marrying Jessica for all the wrong reasons,” Keri’s aunt, Laura Dangelo, tells Star. “All he is after is fame, and I think he’s probably just using her.”

The troubled six-year marriage between Eric and Keri ended so bitterly that she even returned a dog he gave her as a present!

“Keri is decent, loyal and hard working, their divorce really had to have been because of Eric – he always wanted more fame,” says Laura. “I believe it was his narcissism that ended their marriage. If he couldn’t make it work with Keri, I don’t know how he’ll make it work with any other girl.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Look, I don’t think much of Eric either. But I’m not going to automatically believe that his ex is totally innocent and blameless either. Eric and Keri were separated (and headed for divorce) when Eric met Jessica. It’s pretty obvious that in his mind, he was totally available. The way Keri and her family keep going on and on about this stuff looks really cheap and tacky. Besides, I don’t trust a person who refuses to keep a dog that was given to her by her ex. You throw out your ex – not the dog. (Sidenote: that puppy has a new mommy – Jessica has adopted him!)

Next up: In Touch Weekly makes some claims about Jessica’s pre-nup. Remember, she’s a billion-dollar industry! That’s a lot of chilidogs at stake. According to their source, Jessica wants a “no cheating” clause in the prenup, meaning that if Eric bones somebody else, he gets nothing.

With celebrity couples breaking up left and right – not to mention her own split from Nick Lachey in 2004 – it’s no surprise Jessica Simpson is having fiancé Eric Johnson sign a prenup before their November 11 wedding.

But with her billion-dollar empire at stake, Jessica isn’t taking any chances, and has put a strict no-cheating clause in hers.

“Jessica’s biggest fear is that Eric will stray, so she insisted on that specific clause in her prenup,” a friend reveals. This should put a stop to all those dumb blonde jokes, right?

“She’s being fair with Eric in case things don’t work out, but he won’t get anything if he cheats.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

I’ve never really understood those kinds of clauses in prenups. I just don’t get how they’re enforced. Yeah, an affair can and will be used as leverage in a divorce proceeding, but I don’t think some of the specialty clauses really mean much in an actual divorce proceeding.

Last story: Page Six had a funny little item today about Jessica. She “crashed” a party in NYC, and she was only wearing shorts, a t-shirt, clogs and no makeup. She told Page Six, “I walked in here with sunglasses on my head, and I was, like, ‘Oh, my! I have no makeup on.’” Then, “When fotogs asked Jessica to pose, a friend snapped, ‘No pictures! She has no makeup on.’” Have you ever seen Jessica without makeup? She’s really pretty. But that’s a Southern thing… a lady should never be photographed without her face on.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Ever since Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson announced their engagement, there have been constant rumors about the difference in their bank accounts, and what, if anything, Jessica was going to do to protect her assets from Eric’s potentially gold-digging ways. There have been mixed signals, but I believe that the last we heard, Joe Simpson and Jessica were in agreement that she would definitely need a pre-nup to protect her billion-dollar empire. And now Star Magazine has the alleged details:

Money talks before Jessica Simpson walks – down the aisle, that is! Her ultra-hands-on dad, Joe Simpson, is making sure Jess’s $1 billion fashion empire will be preserved after she weds her fiancé, ex pro football player Eric Johnson – and Star has the details of the iron-clad prenup Joe has in the works with his attourneys.

“Eric is on what you might call a vesting plan,” an insider tells Star. “He’ll get $500,000 as a wedding present. Then, on each anniversary, he’ll get another $200,000. Is he and Jessica make it to five years of marriage, he’ll get an additional $500,000 bonus – and a $1 million bonus is they make it to 10 years.”

Not that Eric is hurting for spending money while he waits to marry Jessica: “They already have a joint checking account,” adds the insider, “and Jessica also gave him his own high-limit Visa Black Card and an American Express Platinum card!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

I believe that Jessica already gave him credit cards, and access to one of her checking accounts, just like I believe that Eric is already on her payroll. I’ll also buy that Eric has agreed to sign a pre-nup, but I don’t believe these terms. There’s no way Jessica would be stingy with the current love of her life! And there’s no way Eric would settle for a paltry $200,000 yearly bonus, either. Two hundred thou is probably what Eric is charging just to put up with Jessica’s constant farting.

But seriously, why all this drama about the pre-nup? You know that as soon as Jessica pops out a baby, she’s going to get all lovey-dovey (and dumb) and tear up whatever pre-nup they have.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Here is In Touch Weekly’s hilarious cover this week – Jessica Simpson is being “betrayed”! By whom? Eric Johnson, of course. According to In Touch, Jessica is “blinded by love” to the point where she reportedly isn’t asking for a prenup – although Us Weekly is shooting that down now. A “source” close to Jessica and Eric tells Us Weekly that Eric “is not a gold digger” and that “there will definitely be a prenup… Jessica has said she wants one. Jessica and Eric have talked about it. [Eric] understands that there needs to be a prenup. He’s supportive of it. He really loves her. He’s a low key guy. He’s not into the glitz and materialism of Hollywood at all.”

So he’s not into glitz and glamour? Then what does he DO all day? Well, even though ITW was wrong about the prenup (God willing), I will buy this: Jessica has put Eric on her payroll. He’s even got a title! There’s no mention of what the title is, though, so I think we should have fun with that. Eric Johnson: Dong On Demand. Eric Johnson: Professional Gold-digger. Eric Johnson: The White K-Fed. Eric Johnson: Jessica Simpson’s Purse-Holder. Oh, and ITW also says that Jessica gave him a “corporate credit card” so he could buy her dinner. Because Jessica’s man issues go hand-in-hand with her food issues. As for ITW’s claims, Gossip Cop refutes some of them here – apparently, Eric isn’t a COMPLETE Gold-digger.

You know what’s dumb? If you’re a dude with taste in sketchy women, with a history of failed relationships, to get married without a pre-nup. How did we ever buy that Kelsey Grammer was a smart man? Because he is screwed. TMZ reports that Kelsey married his wife Camille in 1997 without a prenup. That’s thirteen years of earnings that will be split in half for Camille in what’s turning out to be a pretty decent B-list scandal. Not only was Kelsey the highest paid television actor for several years, he’s also a pretty decent television producer – he owns Medium, that (really good) Patricia Arquette vehicle. By my estimation, Camille could be getting like $50 million in cash, assets and property. And since California divorces are no-fault, it doesn’t even matter if Kelsey is a crappy dad (eh) or if Camille is boning some jailbait (probable).

TMZ has learned … Kelsey Grammer took a page out of Larry King’s playbook, and got hitched to Camille without a prenup. It’s pretty stunning, since during the run of “Frasier” Kelsey was the highest paid actor on TV … making $1.6 mil an episode at the end of the show’s 11-year run.

As we first reported, Kelsey is asking that some of his “Frasier” money be declared his separate property. Turns out, he was married in 1997, four years after the series launched. So Kelsey’s separate property request only covers the first 4 years. His earnings for the remaining 7 years, as well as much of the syndication money, will be considered community property.

Going 50/50 is risky business, when you’ve already been married twice before. Camille is Kelsey’s third wife. Just a note for the future.

[From TMZ]

Of course, TMZ also points out that Kelsey is already trying to protect his ass(ets). Kelsey claims that he has “sole financial interest” in all of that Frasier money, AND Kelsey doesn’t want to pay Camille any spousal support.

You can bet that all of the strippers and back-up dancers and budget lingerie models sent out a high-alert that Kelsey is back on the market – and he’s dumb enough to get married without a pre-nup.

Despite the fact that Oksana Grigorieva tells every interviewer that she has “no plans” to marry baby-daddy Mel Gibson, the National Enquirer is still running stories about Mel and Oksana’s impending wedding. There are some shifting goalposts and contradictions, but the basic gist has remained the same. The Enquirer claims that shortly after Oksana gives birth (maybe in November or December), Mel wants a wedding sometime around Christmas, probably at Mel’s private Holy Family Chapel in Agoura Hills. Whether this is true, I have no idea. In any case, you kind of have to take the Enquirer’s word for it to believe this story… apparently, Oksana is saying “nyet” to Mel Gibson’s generous pre-nup offer.

Mel Gibson’s fiancee has said “Nyet!” to his prenup offer. Now pals say Mel – who has to pony up about half his $1 billion fortune to estranged wife Robyn – could pay a staggering $250 million if his second marriage crumbles.

Pregnant Oksana Grigorieva is reportedly due to deliver the couple’s baby girl in early December. They are rumored to be planning a Christmas wedding.

Oksana “gave Mel a kick in the head when she flat-out refused to sign” the prenup agreement, a longtime family friend told The Enquirer. Mel’s offer was generous – $5 million a year for up to 10 years, the friend confided.

“But Oksana wants all or nothing. The same thing happened when she was engaged to Timothy Dalton – and she walked away.”

“She had Timothy’s baby, but refused to marry him because he insisted on a prenup to protect his fortune,” said the friend. “Oksana was offended by it – and now she’s telling Mel the same thing.”

Mel is “seriously conflicted by Oksana’s reaction,” revealed the friend. “He’s such a God-fearing Catholic, he’s adamant that getting married to her is the right thing to do.”

“But she’s stubborn. She’ll give him up before she’ll sign. She’s done it before.”

[From the National Enquirer, print edition, November 2 2009]

Now, most reports do have Mel Gibson “lavishing” gifts on Oksana, and Oksana eating it up. With caviar. If this is true, how do we read it? Is Oksana holding out for more money? Or was she genuinely offended by Mel’s demands for any kind of pre-nup. I won’t mock her for that, I know a lot of women who are genuinely offended when men talk about prenups because they think it’s not romantic. Me? I’m a pragmatist. I wouldn’t scoff at $5 million a year for bangin’ Mel’s crazy ass. Well… let me rethink that. If Oksana was a really smart golddigger (which she may be) she could ask that a “Sugart-ts Clause” be added to the prenup. As in, if Mel Gibson ever gets drunk and makes a public ass out of himself, she gets a huge payday. That’s totally what I would do.

Everyone remembers where they were when the fairytale wedding of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom took place. The day was… whatever. It doesn’t really matter, because they didn’t really get married. It was just some staged ceremony for the cameras. The real drama was behind the scenes, with lawyers for Khloe and Lamar trying to hash out a pre-nup that would protect his extensive assets (including his $33 million contract with the Lakers). Lamar and his management/legal team were said to be very protective of their client, and Lamar obviously listens to their advice. Thus, Khloe and Lamar still aren’t really married. And now Radar is reporting that the prenup negotiations are going sour, big time:

While Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian’s attorneys continue to hammer out their pre-nup agreement, sources close to the couple exclusively tell RadarOnline.com that they are growing increasingly frustrated with the Laker star because he is “listening to advisers, and a group of hanger-on friends about what the pre-nup should include. Lamar needs to man up, and stand up to these people, it doesn’t seem like they have the best interests of Lamar and Khloe as a couple at heart.”

The talks are “progressing”, a source close to the couple told RadarOnline.com, but the process could “be made a lot easier if Lamar would just put his foot down when it comes to Khloe. This is the woman that will be his wife, and Lamar will be sleeping in bed at night with Khloe, not these people.”

The insider reveals that “there is a tremendous amount of love between the two, and that will pervail in the end. It might get rocky at times, but Lamar and Khloe are very much in love.”

[From Radar]

Oh, it sounds like the “insider” is a member of the Kardashian family, doesn’t it? If I had to put money on it, I’d say the quotes came from Mother Kris. By the way, in the little unofficial pool I had going, I had their breakup by Halloween. It looks like I’ll be collecting my imaginary winnings soon enough! No, I shouldn’t gloat. Who knew this relationship wouldn’t last? Oh, right. Everyone.

Late Tuesday, TMZ broke an interesting story – according to their sources, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom didn’t really get married this past Sunday. It was a faux wedding, bought and paid for by E! and OK! Magazine, it seems. Khloe and Lamar “are not legally married” because the two of them – plus their respective teams of lawyers – didn’t sort out the prenup issue fast enough. Well, Khloe did her best. She tried to race Lamar down the aisle, hoping that a prenup (protecting his $33 million contract) would slip his mind. Lamar’s lawyer must have been all “No wedding for you, Golddigger!”

TMZ has learned Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian are not legally married … and they won’t be until a prenup is signed.

We’ve learned two high-powered family law attorneys are already squaring off, trying to hash out the prenup Odom wants as a condition to marriage. Neal Hersh is doing his bidding, while Lisa Meyer is repping Khloe. We’re told the negotiations — which began last Friday — are already contentious.

Our sources say the couple will tie the knot — legally — once the prenup is inked.

[From TMZ]

Christ. You know what this means, right? We’re going to have to go through all of this bullsh-t again as soon as the prenup stuff gets worked out. If it gets worked out. Do you think Lamar is going to pull a fast one on Khloe? Do you think he’ll be like, “Psych! I was just kidding. What’s your name again? Whoops, I wanted to marry Kim.” Meanwhile, E! (via Us Weekly) is reporting that E! will air the “special episode” for the fake, non-binding wedding on Keeping Up With the Kardashians November 8th at 9 p.m. E.T. Does anyone want to take bets on Khloe and Lamar’s relationship lasting until November 8th? I’ve got ten bucks riding on a Halloween split.

Interestingly, Lamar held a semi-press conference late Tuesday eveing in which he sort-of denied (but not really) the whole “not really married” thing. Lamar said: “It’s crazy how perception works in America when you’re looking at things from the outside… anybody that was there will tell you that it was a beautiful event and it was real.” Uh… but was it a legal, binding marriage, dude? Probably not.

Photos courtesy of OK! Magazine

The whirlwind romance of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom is one for the books. If you like books about Kardashians and basketball players impulsively getting married after only one month of dating. They announced their engagement last Friday, and by late Monday (yesterday) they had already decided on a wedding date (this Sunday). Allegedly, Lamar has already given Khloe a ring, and their wedding guests are being informed of their “save the date” by phone. Now E! has more details of the wedding and all that surrounds it. The biggest news (to me) was that “sources” are saying that Khloe is totally not pregnant, just “in love”. Also, a prenup has been “discussed”:

With the newly betrothed Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom scrambling to pull off their wedding in record time, here’s where things stand as of this morning, according to sources close to the couple.
When: Sunday, late afternoon
Where: At a family friend’s home in L.A.—the Bel-Air residence of music mogul Irving Azoff
Guests: About 250, among them the extended Kardashian clan (including sisters Kim and Kourtney and stepbro Brody Jenner), Odom’s Lakers teammates (Kobe Bryant’s got an invite but hasn’t RSVP’d yet) and several fellow E! personalities (including Ryan Seacrest)
Ring: She has it and is expected to debut it as soon as today. It’s ginormous.
Pregnant? Sources say she is not pregnant, just in love.
Prenup? No confirmation either way, but Odom just inked a four-year, $33 million contract and a source tells E! News a prenup “has been discussed.”

[From E! Online]

I know I’m one of the few, but I actually buy that Khloe isn’t knocked up. I think she’s just dumb and impulsive. Although I’m rethinking the “dumb” thing now that I’ve heard about Lamar’s $33 million contract. Woohoo! I ain’t sayin’ she’s a golddigger…

Let me say something else – I think Khloe has been playing this whole rush-wedding thing a lot smarter than her sister Kourtney is playing the whole pregnancy thing, at least media-wise. Kourtney did a string of interviews to every outlet, multiple times, for about three weeks straight after announcing her pregnancy, and people got really bored in a hurry. Khloe has barely issued one word in the past few days, which is keeping us (alright, me) interested. I can totally appreciate when someone has good p.r. game.

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are shown out on 9/8/09 and 9/9/09.