Stylish Celebrity Escapism
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Jun 14
'06
Britney changes her baby’s diaper at a Victoria’s Secret


Britney changed little SP’s diaper at a Victoria’s Secret lingerie store. She didn’t try to be discreet by using one of the plushy ottomans in the dressing room and just plopped him down next the cash register. When she was done she handed the dirty diaper to the woman at the counter to throw away for her!

Britney Spears’ “Eeewww!” factor is apparently on the rise. The pregnant pop tart did more than just pick up a few pink thongs at the Victoria’s Secret in Mission Viejo, Calif. According to Us Weekly, she got down on the floor next to the cash register and changed 9-month-old Sean Preston’s dirty diaper. “Britney then tried to hand it to an employee,” says a source. “The salesperson wouldn’t take it.” Silver lining? No eBay-ed diaper.

She could have changed his diaper in the car, a nearby bathroom, or in the dressing room, but instead she used the floor in a high traffic area of the store. How “country” of her.

Britney shocked diners at a restaurant in early March by changing Sean Preston’s diaper - right on the table in front of other guests trying to enjoy their meals.

Perry may be hot, but he’s a novice in the baby department and what Britney needs is an all-purpose baby coach to advise her on safety and etiquette issues. In other words - she needs some class!

She says the tabloids are too hard on her and that they’ve gone too far, but she continues to make deliberate dumb mistakes.

Here are screencaps from Britney’s interview with Matt Lauer, which airs in its entirety tonight on Dateline. Thanks to BreatheHeavy.com for these photos and the composite image above. They also have portions of Britney’s upcoming interview transcribed.

Posted in Babies, Britney Spears, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         3 Comments »
Jun 13
'06
Trudie Styler shows her son’s birth video at his 21st birthday party!


Sting’s wife, Trudie Styler, was at her son’s 21st birthday party at an exclusive nightclub in London, and had the brilliant idea to pop in the graphic video of her giving birth to him:

While many of us celebrated our 21st birthday with alcohol, Sting’s wife Trudie Styler, 51, had a different idea for her son Jake Sumner - she showed everyone at his party a video of his birth, according to a published report.

Sumner’s guests at privileged club ‘Drone’ in London last week observed as the “gruesome” film played and he was embarrassed, to say the least.

A witness explains, “Everyone was totally shocked and just didn’t know where to look when Trudie put the video on. It was very graphic and rather gruesome. Poor Jake turned bright red. It was certainly the most talked about part of the evening.”

But his mother claims it was quite the contrary.

She says, “Jake’s a film producer now so I thought it would be an idea to show his first film role. Afterwards he groaned, but secretly he was probably quite proud of it all and chuffed we made the effort. I honestly don’t think he was that embarrassed. I think it was all quite sweet.”

How fucking clueless do you have to be to think it’s a good idea to show a birth video at your son’s 21st birthday party? That’s completely insane and utterly humiliating. What a dumb excuse she gave - he’s a film producer. She could have screened some home movies and everyone would have been cooing. Instead she picked the most embarassing subject behind showing the conception video. Way to ruin your son’s party.

No wonder Sting is addicted to strippers - his wife is crazy! She may be up to anything in the bedroom, but when you factor in her complete lack of common sense she must quite difficult to tolerate.

Here are Sting and Trudie at the “Louis Vuitton art talks” at the National Gallery in London on 5/25 and in Cannes. Sting looks like he barely puts up with her.

Posted in Odd, SmartSmartSmart, Sting, Trudie Styler

Written by Celebitchy         5 Comments »
Jun 12
'06
Britney Spears: child endangerment is “country”; her marriage is “awesome”


In an interview with Matt Lauer to air in Thursday night, Britney defends driving with her baby on her lap, saying that she often sat on her dad’s lap as a child while he was behind the wheel, and that the practice is “country”:

She drew criticism earlier this year when she was photographed with her infant son, Sean, sitting on her lap as she drove. She cautions against judging her.

“I did it with my dad. I’d sit on his lap and I drive,” the Louisiana native said. “We’re country.”

In this case “country” is code for “stupid,” which is sure to piss off non city-dwellers everywhere.

Britney also defends her marriage with the absent Kevin, saying it’s awesome that he’s not living in the basement:

Britney Spears says her marriage to Kevin Federline is “awesome,” and scrutiny from the paparazzi has made her an “emotional wreck.”

Opening up in an interview with NBC’s Matt Lauer to be aired Thursday on the Today show and Dateline, the 24-year-old singer says it’s not true that Federline is living in the basement, as some media have reported.

The paparazzi have “crossed the line a little bit” by showing her in private moments, she added. She also defended her parenting skills, saying, “I know I’m a good mom.”

It’s not true that Kevin’s living in the basement because he’s sleeping on a friend’s couch in an apartment in Studio City, California and hasn’t seen Britney in weeks. In her book that’s awesome because Kevin is even more “country” than she is and she’s afraid he’ll endanger Sean Preston if he comes back to smoke up the house again with his pals.

It’s sad that she thinks the paparrazi is the cause of her emotional state, but she should blame Kevin for that, not the hoards of photographers that follow her everywhere.

Posted in Babies, Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, Relationship trouble, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
Jun 12
'06
Paris Hilton is [temporarily] blind; backs into car - with video

Paris driving with a dumb super-wide smile
Paris’ publicist, Elliot Mintz, has a great job. He has to come up with creative ways to lie and spin shit whenever Paris offends someone or is generally inconsiderate or dumb. Since she leaves the house nearly every day, he gets a lot of work. Last month he spread the unlikely story that a thief snatched a bagful of high end Mother’s day gifts for Kathy Hilton that Paris was never seen shopping for. He was spotted in the firecrotch video trying in vain to do on-scene damage control. Now he’s saying that Paris never left the scene of the crime after backing her Range Rover into a Honda in a parking lot, even though there’s a video of the incident that shows her doing it.

Since he doesn’t have much to go on, he uses the tried and true “paparrazi defense” favored by Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears:

Hilton backed into a parked Honda Civic on Thursday. A videotape on the TMZ.com Web site showed Hilton getting into the car, saying goodbye to someone and backing up. The sound of a crash followed.

The video showed scrapes on the bumpers of both vehicles.

The Range Rover stopped briefly then continued on toward the exit of the parking structure.

TMZ.com indicated Hilton failed to leave contact information for the Honda’s owner and thus may have violated laws against hit-and-run. Her publicist denied that.

“Did she commit a crime? No,” Elliot Mintz said.

“She was swarmed by paparazzi,” he said. “The intensity of the lights, flashbulbs, momentarily disoriented her. She backed up, there was a minor fender-bender. No injuries. She then told me she notified one of the parking people at the facility how to contact her and asked the person to please pass that along” to the owner of the struck car.

“She did the correct thing and she would not leave the scene of a crime,” he said.

Mintz said Hilton is insured.

“Paris is a very responsible and a very good driver. … She takes her driving seriously,” Mintz said. “This was unfortunate … it will be handled appropriately.”

Notice that Muntz doesn’t state Paris’ actions as fact, he said she told him that she left her contact information, which is different than saying she actually did it.

To be fair to Paris, a paparrazoa was asking her one of those dumb questions they always shout at celebrities to get their attention when she had the accident. Something like “Did you have fun shopping?” This actually works, because Jennifer Love Hewitt and Denise Richards answer those fools and have been videotaped having conversations with them.

Here’s the video. She is seen saying goodbye to Kim Kardashian, Nick Lachey’s new girlfriend, before getting into the car.

(This title is a play on Paris’ song “Stars are Blind,” and no offense is intended to our visually impaired readers - not that anyone would actually visit this site for the writing. We are also sorry that we don’t use image alt tags because we’re too lazy.)

Here is Paris in a “Stars are Blind” promo photoshoot and at the unveiling of “Idols Of Gay Hollywood” on June 8th. [via] Notice that this site has been relatively Paris Hilton-free for over a week.

Paris Hilton posing in a gray babydoll teddy on a chair for a Stars are Blind photoshoot.Paris Hilton from the waist up  posing and trying to look sexy for a Stars are Blind photo shoot. She is wearing a weird paisley shirt that makes her blend into the red wallpaper background.

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Posted in Paris Hilton, Photos, SmartSmartSmart, Video

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
Jun 9
'06
Did Britney and Kevin spend the weekend together?


Britian’s The Sun, which we do not trust, is reporting that Britney and Kevin spent the weekend together and that Britney is upset that Kevin wants to make a movie that glorifies his psuedo-gansta past, similar to “8 Mile,” except “8 Mile” was moderately accurate:

BRITNEY Spears is fuming after discovering hubby Kevin Federline is to make a film about his life.

K-Fed, 28, plans to portray himself in the same mould as Eminem in 8 Mile — a tough rapper who’s risen from the streets.

But Britney, 24, fears he is going to cash in by dishing the dirt on their troubled relationship. A source said: “Britney has heard that Federline is working on a script and trying to get funding for the film.

She is really upset. Britney fears Kevin just wants to promote himself at her expense to further his career.”

The couple have grown increasingly distant. But Britney, above, is desperate to save the marriage before their second child arrives in the autumn.

She and Kevin spent the night in a hotel suite in Laguna Beach, California, at the weekend — and continued talking the next day.

[via]

Now, if Britney and Kevin spent the weekend together, why do they mention it as an afterthought? They haven’t been photographed together in over two months and this would be huge news. The paparazzi follow them everywhere and there’s no way this part of the story is true.

It might be true that Kevin is planning a film based on his life though. That sounds like the sort of thing the incompetent rapper would try. He claims to have been in a gang in Fresno, California, but he was vague and declined to give details because there aren’t any.

“A lot of my people got locked up; a lot of my people are dead. I’m not gonna sit here and get into details about what I did.”

“I’m not gonna sit here and say that I’m this grimy, gutter, gangsta. But I have been on the hustle.”

Kevin, you’ve only hustled for Britney’s money, and that’s pretty inventive of you but it doesn’t really make you capable of a film career beyond the unwatchable “Chaotic.”

In related news, a couple of days ago we reported that Britney was going to design baby clothes. It’s probably true because sleuths at Socialite’s Life discovered that Britney has trademarked her infant son’s name, Sean Preston, suggesting that she’s planning a line of clothing under his name.

Here are outtakes from Britney’s magazine spread for Glamour UK. The official pictures came out in early May of this year. [via]

Posted in Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, Relationship trouble, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
May 31
'06
Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt named after her place of conception. Eww.


We reported yesterday that Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt got her middle name from her architecture-loving daddy Brad, who admires French architect Jean Nouvel. The source we quoted thought Shiloh might be a tribute to the place where Brad and Angelina made sweet love to conceive the baby, but said that was uncertain:

It is possible that Pitt and Jolie have, according to a system fashionable in celebrity circles, named the baby after the location of its conception, but this is not immediately enlightening: there are better than 50 Shilohs in the US.

It turns out that there’s a Shiloh in California and Brad and Angelina were there nine months before the tot was born. How freaking original:

One suggestion is that the Hollywood couple named their first born after where they conceived. Shiloh is a place in California where the pair rendezvoused nine months ago while Brad was on a photo shoot.

That’s dumb, especially since Shiloh is a weird name that’s hard to pronouce. David and Victoria Beckham named their first son Brooklyn after his place of conception, but they’re not as bright as the Jolie-Pitts and can be forgiven for using such a trite baby-naming convention. Brooklyn also isn’t that bad of a name for a boy.

Not only is Shiloh going to have to live with that weird name, she’ll be cursed with visions of her parents having sex when people ask her how she was given her unique moniker. Even if your parents are super hot like Brad and Angelina, you still don’t want that image in your head.

Posted in Angelina Jolie, Babies, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Sex, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         7 Comments »
May 16
'06
Britney caught endangering Sean Preston - again


When I first saw these pictures of Britney driving with Sean Preston slumped over in his carseat in the back I thought, “oh, how cute, my son does that too.” The thing is, I was thinking of him sleeping in his stroller, not his car seat. I also forgot that my son’s car seat was until recently rear-facing as is required by law in the states for children under the age of one. My son never falls over like that when he’s sleeping in the car, because he’s strapped in tight.

Britney could get in trouble with Children and Family Services yet again:

The pregnant pop princess was spotted tooling around in her convertible Mini Cooper with 8-month-old Sean Preston slumped over in a forward-facing car seat. Federal regulations say kiddie seats should face backward until a child is a year old.

“It’s far safer if the seat is facing backwards to avoid head-on injuries and whiplash in case of a collision,” said California Highway Patrol spokesman Tom Marshall.

Spears, 24, “could be” cited for violating Section 27360 of the California Vehicle Code, which says child safety seats must be installed to comply with the federal standard.

“We would have to witness the violation. We can’t issue a citation from a photograph,” Marshall said.

“It’s a bit of a gray area,” he added, because state code doesn’t specify the backward installation - a federal regulation does.

Spears’ rep did not return calls for comment yesterday.

“We strongly urge anyone who is uncertain of how to install a car seat to come down to one of our headquarters and get help. We offer that service free of charge,” said Marshall.

We installed car seats for our son in both of our cars about a week before he was born. Before we were allowed to leave the birthing center with our newborn, they checked the car to make sure we had a car seat and that it was installed properly. Britney or one of her handlers didn’t know better when they put this seat in her new car, and obviously no one bothered to make sure it met regulations.

If she does get some kind of warning for this, it won’t be her first. She’s being monitored by the Department of Children and Family services, and will receive regular visits from the agency as a result of a head injury that eight month-old Sean Preston sustained when his hairchair supposedly snapped. (Although witnesses claimed SP also fell off the couch when Kevin was meant to be watching him, and that could have caused the injury.)

Britney was also famously pictured driving with Sean Preston on her lap, and refused to take responsibility for the incident, blaming the paparrazi for hounding her.

In terms of child endangerment, installing a carseat wrong is dangerous but seems like a legitimate mistake. At least she put him in the carseat this time.

Pictures [via]

Posted in Babies, Britney Spears, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         1 Comment »
May 16
'06
Paris Hilton gives a dumb excuse for forgetting Mother’s Day


I saw some pictures on WENN photo yesterday of Paris and Nicky Hilton pumping gas and getting ready to go to Mother’s Day dinner with their mom, and I honest thought “Where is their gift?” (The pictures are low-quality watermarked, but you can see what I mean in the last two rows, below. Look at how messy their car is!)

Now Paris’ rep claims that a bag containing $10,000 worth of gifts for ther mom for mother’s day was “stolen” from in front of the Hilton mansion:

Paris Hilton’s mother can only imagine what her celebrity daughter got her for Mother’s Day. That’s because thieves stole the gifts before Kathy Hilton received them.

A gift bag containing nearly $10,000 worth of Christian Dior shoes, sunglasses, handbags and perfume was taken from outside the Hilton home, spokesman Elliot Mintz said Monday.

The younger Hilton “spent three or four hours shopping to put together this wonderful collection of things for her mom,” Mintz said.

A delivery person set the package down outside the home’s gate to ring the intercom when a passenger in a passing car snatched the gifts.

“A fellow just whizzed by and grabbed the package,” Mintz said.

The Hilton family celebrated Mother’s Day by going out to dinner, he said.

Now, it’s totally possible that this happened, but it sounds like a typical excuse for forgetting to get your mom anything for Mother’s Day. We know that Paris and Nicky went shopping on Saturday as they were photographed going to Kitson, but Kitson is a trendy casual store and doesn’t sell Christian Dior items. They didnt have any bags with them that would suggest they got anything else. Maybe they went somewhere else, too, but we doubt it. The paparrazi follow them everywhere, and they would have been easily spotted at an upscale boutique if they actually did all this heavy shopping for their mom. Also, why would they have gifts delivered if they were going to see their mother on Sunday? Wouldn’t they bring the gifts with them?

There’s something about Paris’ mom, Kathy, that makes you feel sorry for her. Sure she has more advantages in life than large portions of the planet combined, but she just seems needy and unfulfilled. Her family must take her for granted, but at least they had a nice dinner together on Sunday.

Here are Paris and Nicky on Saturday outside of Kitson and on Mother’s Day outside the Ivy restaurant. It’s nice that Paris is pumping her own gas. [via] and [via] Paris, Nicky and their mom Kathy are shown at “The Race to Erase MS,” above.

Posted in Nicky Hilton, Paris Hilton, SmartSmartSmart, Weak

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
May 15
'06
Britney Spears thinks she’s all spiritual and psychic


Britney Spears has been getting deep beyond her ability to comprehend. She made a couple statements recently that reveal that she’s trying to come to terms with the spiritual side of life, and is failing miserably.

She made a strange brief statement on her website, her first in over a year, saying she’s given up Kabbalah.

I no longer study Kabbalah. My baby is my religion.

She is also quoted as saying that she considers herself a sort of prophet:

“I wrote this song [”Someday”] at my piano, at my house. I wrote it two weeks before I found out that I was pregnant, so it was really kind of weird, because the song’s about having a baby… and it’s something that I’d been dreaming about for a while. It’s kind of like a prophecy,” she said, reports Ananova. “Everyone in general should voice their wishes more, because I think the more you throw it out to the universe, if you’re in the right space and place in your life, it’s weird how the universe gives it back to you.

Britney, you may not have realized it consciously at the time, but when you have sex without protection you can get pregnant. So you had more of a biology revelation when writing that song than a spiritual awakening.

It’s a good thing Britney has given up the Kabbalah cult, though. She doesn’t need any more complications in her life.

Britney is pregnant with her second child, which is rumored to be a girl.

Here she is with an unknown male outside a studio in Hollywood on 5/12. Kevin Federline is shown on the same day outside another studio.

Pictures [via]

Posted in Babies, Britney Spears, Cults, Music, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         4 Comments »
May 4
'06
Jessica Simpson and James Blunt?


Jessica Simpson is said to be enamored with James Blunt and wanted to make sure she gave him her contact info at the MTV Australian music awards:

While at the MTV Australia Video Music Awards, says a friend of Jessica, she “was determined to meet him,” and gave Blunt, 29, her cell phone number and e-mail address. “She was glowing the rest of the night,” says the source. “Obviously Jess goes for the sensitive singers.” And if James doesn’t call or email, the source tells Star that Jessica hopes to see James when he’s in California for an April 30 gig. Watch out, James… Jessica’s on the prowl!

[via]

Blunt may be a sensitive singer, but he’s a complete dumb ass and iit would be a disaster if these two got together. While Nick was able to balance out Jessica’s ditziness with common sense and a grounded personality, Blunt has no such redeeming qualities.

Here is Jessica with her incompetent hairdresser Ken Paves at Mr. Chow’s in Beverly Hills on May 2nd, and shopping with him on April 30th. [via]

And here’s Blunt at a press conference in Mexico City on May 2nd and at Coachella.

Posted in Hookups, James Blunt, Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         See post for comments
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