There was a minor scandal a’brewing at the Breaking Dawn Part 2 premiere in London last night. Other photo agencies got photos of Rob and Kristen posing together on the red carpet, and most UK sites ran with version of “Rob and Kristen hold hands at premiere – PROOF!” But, as Celeb Dirty Laundry points out, “Rob is clearly trying to pry Kristen’s fist open; with a smile no less.” Not so much holding hands as Kristen being an unaffectionate lip-biter who makes a tight fist with her hand when Rob tries to touch her? That’s our Kristen!

So maybe the studio people told her to lighten up and play along. Because here are new pics of Kristen, Rob and Taylor Lautner at the BD2 photocall in Madrid, Spain, and Kristen is looking much more affectionate. She even rested her head on Rob’s shoulder at one point. PROOF! TWIHARD PROOF!

Kristen’s dress is Julien MacDonald and her heels are Jerome Rousseau. I swear, I thought the dress was one of Stella McCartney’s budget “illusion” dresses. I think MacDonald just copied Stella’s (horrible) design and then just added boob fur. Also: she really needs to stop making fists with her hands when she’s posing. It makes her look angry, right? She’s so hardcore! PROOF!

PS… I hate Rob’s haircut. It makes him look like a Gomer.

Photos courtesy of WENN.com.

Here are some new images from the issue of Entertainment Weekly that we previewed last week. These photos, of course, are geared to give the first real glimpse of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan’s new progeny, Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy). Many of you commented last week on what a ridiculous name (it’s an amalgamation of Bella and Edward mothers, Renee and Esme) has been bestowed upon this half-vampire child, and I agree. But it’s not outside the realm of ridiculousness that has already been spawned by Stephenie Meyer’s vegetarian vampire universe, so it makes sense at least in that regard.

Now the new trailer has debuted for Breaking Dawn: Part II, and it’s not nearly as funny as that teaser from a few months ago in which Bella stalked Bambi. Still, it’s worth watching just to marvel at the fact that nothing really happens in this sequel (as far as the book is concerned), yet the movie will still make hundreds of millions of dollars. Here’s that trailer:

So the Cullens will now officially “go to war” with the Voltari, but those of us who have (unfortunately) read the book know that the actual “battle” that takes place is a real buzzkill. But they make them run in this trailer! That’s exciting, I guess. Not really. Yet I find it amusing when Jacob greets vampire Bella, who looks exactly the same as human Bella with red eyes. Of course, she’s still Bella. Because she’s played by Kristen Stewart, who doesn’t have a very large range as an actress even though she’s the highest paid in Hollywood. This movie will be insufferable, and it won’t even have the campy, headboard-crushing humor of the first installment. What a shame.

Oh, and here’s the amusing moment when Emmett, played by Kellan Lutz, attempts to arm wrestle with Bella and fails miserably. My own (nonexistent) money is on Lutz being the fastest member of the Cullen clan to disappear into obscurity once this franchise finally ends. Bye bye, Lutzy.

Photos courtesy of EW.com

Last Friday when my daughter and I headed to the theater to watch The Hunger Games, she secured the essential top-row seats while I stood in the very long line for popcorn. Once in the theater, she informed me that I’d missed the new teaser trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 but that it was no big deal because she was “so over it already.” At first, I was a bit shocked by this statement since she’s firmly Team Edward and even has a cardboard cutout of His Sparkliness in her bedroom. Now I know what she’s talking about because this teaser trailer is really lame. Here it is, and we’ll discuss afterwards:

Okay, so CB and I both think the part where Bella is stalking that poor little deer is pretty damn funny, but I can’t grasp whether or not Summit Entertainment intends this to be funny or if they’re actually trying to make this movie seem scary. After all, the promotional strategy of Breaking Dawn – Part I was much sharper than the movie itself — and it was the trailer’s blatant hilarity of a busted headboard and Jacob ripping off his shirt and wolfing out that led to a $138 million opening weekend. In contrast, this teaser features more “romantic” glimpses of Bella’s wedding/engagement ring, Edward making another one of his silly “romantic” statements, and Taylor Lautner nipping out as Jacob. Maybe the next trailer will have more campiness to offer since this one fails miserably, but if you’ve read the books, you know as well as I do that nothing of great consequence will happen in this installment unless Summit starts adding sh-t to the story.

Although I do remain vaguely mused with the part where Bambi’s about to get it. Not that this will necessarily pull people into the theater.

Screenshots from YouTube

With some movies, reviews just don’t matter. Such was the case for the latest Twilight Saga installment, Breaking Dawn Part I, which received a 29% certified “rotten” score from critics yet nonetheless went on to secure an estimated $139.5 million opening weekend. Even though this result isn’t quite as remarkable as New Moon‘s $142.5 million opener, Summit Entertainment still has absolutely nothing to complain about:

While it wasn’t quite able to reach the series high $139.5 million opening indicated that the sexy teen vampires are as popular as ever. What does appear to have lost some of its appeal, however, is dancing penguins: Happy Feet Two struggled to even open to half as much as its popular 2006 predecessor. Overall box office was up around 20 percent to at least $218 million, and the weekend could wind up ranking as the fifth-highest on record.

Breaking Dawn‘s $139.5 million opening is second-best among Twilight movies behind 2009′s New Moon ($142.7 million). That’s a small gap, though, and Breaking Dawn still managed to claim fifth place on the all-time opening weekend chart behind Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, The Dark Knight, Spider-Man 3 and New Moon. As is typical for the Twilight movies, its weekend was incredibly front-loaded with 51.6 percent of the gross coming from Friday showings (including its $30.25 midnight tally).

The audience was 80 percent female and 60 percent over 21 years old. That’s more female-skewing than Eclipse (65 percent) but even with New Moon (80 percent). Also, the audience was younger for those movies (only 50 percent over 21 years old), though it’s logical for the crowd to age along with the series. Breaking Dawn received a “B+” CinemaScore, which improved to an “A-” among females.

Happy Feet Two debuted to an estimated $22 million, or just over half as much as the $41.5 million that the first Happy Feet opened to on the same weekend in 2006.CinemaScore.

[From Box Office Mojo]

Score one for Summit’s marketing team, which clearly embraced the balls-out absurdity of Stephenie Meyer’s fourth book. From the very first movie still, which featured the tell-tale after effects of Edward Cullen’s pillowbiting frenzy, the entire promotional scheme for this movie highlighted the main question that the Twihards were dying to know — how could anyone possibly translate all of the book’s ridiculous happenings into a watchable, PG-13 movie? Of course, I’ll issue a mild SPOILER ALERT while also suggesting that all interested parties review the film’s theatrical trailer:

See? The trailer embraces the pure camp of the book (and series) by kicking things off with the long-suffering Jacob ripping off his shirt and wolfing out while his poor father heads out after him in the pouring rain. Jacob, of course, was in agony because Bella was marrying Edward, but all fans of the book realize that Jacob later imprints on a baby. Naturally, a lot of people (myself included) were very interested to see how director Bill Condon could possibly interpret that jacked-up moment on film as well as the notorious birth scene. This is not to mention the headboard-crushing moment when an 117-year-old vampire has sex for the very first time, which is also prominently featured within the trailer as well. Brilliant marketing, indeed. So yes, Breaking Dawn Part I achieved a very well-deserved victory this weekend at least from a promotional standpoint.

Also, I kind of love this unintentionally hilarious still of Kellan Lutz carrying the trunk of a redwood tree in manner of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando. You just know that the Lutz is carrying a big hunk of plastic:

Photos courtesy of AllMoviePhoto

I will admit to finding Jackson Rathbone attractive in the past. Like not here at TheBreaking Dawn Part 1 premiere at all, not with the Vegas red velvet suit, the black tie and vest with chains, and the obvious makeup. Also not in any of the Twilight movies, where he has that freaky bleached blonde hair and the serial killer eyes that are unique to the Cullen family. (If they’re not real family members, and are just a rag tag bunch of vampires of varying ages, why do they have to all look like that? It’s probably explained in the books that I skimmed.) I thought this guy was hot in the past, when he was working a well put together rocker look a la Jason Mraz.

Let’s revisit that look for Rathbone, from August, 2010. Look how adorable he is with floppy hair, a cute hat and the right amount of scruff.

And look at him now. Weird, right? One of the suggested searches for Jackson Rathbone on Google is “Jackson Rathbone gay,” but there’s not a verdict on that and some sites say he has a girlfriend. He looks like a poorly dressed rocker to me, not that it matters. He’s super fug here yet he looks oddly confident. Is this outfit some kind of cheeky joke? That’s the only excuse for it.

Taylor Lautner resembled a Wall Street banker in this very stodgy but stylish suit and tie. He does nothing for me, and I tend to associate him with his whiny bitch character in Twilight. I don’t think of Robert Pattinson as an emotionally abusive stalker, but maybe that’s because he done other roles. Lautner will be Jacob for me for a while. Also, this scruff makes him look like a high school student trying to grow a beard for the first time. Still, I can see how some teeny boppers would find him dreamy.

To cleanse our palettes, lets gaze at Rob Lowe, who isn’t in the movie of course but scored an invite to the premiere. He’s wearing a black shirt with a blue suit, and it looks like his pants are too long for him, but still he’s gorgeous. This dude is 47. There’s a scary aged bloated photo of him hidden in an attic somewhere.

Also here is his wife. I get the sense that they are super kinky.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Hold on to your shirts, folks, for it’s gonna be a long haul until Breaking Dawn – Part I arrives in U.S. theaters on November 18, and there’s also the overseas circuit to consider as well. Here we go with the first bit of international coverage, which involves Robert Pattinson being his usual, self-deprecating self for Mexico’s 15 a 20 (15 to 20) magazine. Yes, I used Google translate for accuracy (pathetic, right?) there even though I took four years of Spanish. At any rate, Sparklepants has revealed that this shooting movie was quite unlike any other Twilight film, for he actually tried to get his hipster, pot-smoking body into some semblance of physical shape. It’s kind of funny, really:

On Working With Bill Condon: He’s a director that likes to get involved, and he’s also a writer, so he can adapt things in the moment. Something very cool is that before everything used to be so strict “This is how it’s in the book, this is how it’s going to be in the film,” but sometimes things don’t look as good onscreen as they do in paper, so Bill was very daring in interpreting some things differently.

On Fiming The Sex Scene: The sex scene is never described in the book, so every single person who read it had their own idea in their mind. The entire time we were filming it we thought “We have to make this look spectacular to everyone,” and we were thinking on how to meet people’s expectations. But you also worry about how you’re going to look, I had never been so worried about that before, but after seeing how much Taylor works out for the movies, I thought “Well, everybody is really going to judge me now.” I always tried to think about positions where where I could tense the muscles, and suck in my belly… Ok, I think I just gave the most vain answer I could come up with.

On Taking His Shirt Off: Especially because in this saga the body of the characters seems to be a big deal. So in this movie I thought, “OK, it’s the last one, I’m getting a six pack,” and I tried, but it’s VERY hard. I worked out so hard for 6 months, so after filming the sex scene the first thing I thought was “Time to eat!”

On Vampire Sex: Bill helped us a lot. I knew it would be a very important and scary scene for Kristen and for me, so he gave us many ideas, because like I said, the book just describes the morning after and that’s it, so we had to play what happened before like in “True Blood,” but in the end everything came out great, we shot several scenes and the cuts were edited just perfect.

Yes. I haven’t seen much of ["True Blood"] but people tell me Twilight is about abstinence, and about vampires not killing people, and True Blood is a total blood bath, more gory, and in this last movie the characters finally have passionate moments and, blah blah blah. So everybody obviously wonders “How do vampires have sex?” and it’s difficult to put that in a scene and actually make it trascendental. I think that’s something that would be weird to see in this saga, without making it, you know, dirty. Am I making sense? I don’t think I answered that question, we were just talking about sex (laughs).

On His Life After Twilight: I’m a very paranoid person, and I feel like if I don’t keep making movies, everything will be over quickly and I’ll have a mental breakdown. So I just think about working and never stop working until people stop hiring me.

[From Twilight Poison]

Poor Robert! He actually did get shirtless already for New Moon; but if I recall correctly, those abdominal muscles were the crack work of some very inspired makeup artist:

So I guess for now, we’ll just have to wait and see what the future holds for those sparkly abdominal muscles. And yes, I’ll go watch Breaking Dawn in the theater. At this point, I’m justifying the act because of my daughter, who received a cardboard Edward Cullen cutout for Christmas last year. Still, I can’t help laughing along with these terrible movies too, and I do hope that Sparkles has a career beyond Twilight. He just needs to move beyond playing the heartthrob in all of his other movies.

Photos courtesy of Fame; shirtless Rob photo courtesy of BellaandEdward.com

Poor Taylor Lautner. Just the other day and for a mere moment, I genuinely thought that Vogue Italia had humiliated the guy to the furthest extent possible with that ridiculous waterworks photoshoot. Yet it’s quite possible that GQ Australia has made even more of a mockery of such an easy target. For one thing, Lautner is merely 19-years-old (and he looks a few years younger), so why is he covering a men’s magazine in the first place? Secondly, why make him look like a little kid playing dress-up in his father’s suits? It’s so cruel:

Certainly, this photoshoot is a very strange way to promote Abduction, which is a thriller-action movie but strictly appeals to the Twihard demographic; that is, it’s a film that will attract few people that reads men’s magazines. In Lautner’s defense, however, his little movie opened higher (on the same weekend) than and is still outpacing Clive Owen and Jason Statham’s Killer Elite. Further, Abduction (also unlike Killer Elite) has pulled in a respectable worldwide gross as well and has already recouped its budget with an extra $20 million left over. If one considers the DVD market as well, it’s safe to say that Lautner will actually be around to make a few more movies in the future. Will these be action movies though? Only time will tell, and now onto some exerpts from this GQ Australia interview:

On His Auditions For Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D: For commercial auditions, you’ll show up and there will be 200 kids. It’s all about looks. You walk in the room, the casting director looks at you, they say, “Say this line.” You say it and you walk out. Then you’d get a callback, and you’d show up and there would be 40 kids sitting there and they all look like you.

On Getting Mobbed By Fans: It comes down to what kind of mood you’re in. You have to make a decision before you go out: are you willing to sign autographs and take pictures, say hello and meet new people? I wouldn’t say I get upset about it. I asked for this. It gets frustrating. But during that frustration you say, “OK. Why am I frustrated? I’m doing what I love.” But sometimes you really just want to go do whatever you want to do.

On His $250,000 2012 SLS AMG Mercedes-Benz: As you know, I’ve been driving the same car [a BMW 5 series] for the past four years. But I’ve always been a huge car fan. And I would always go to dealerships and drool. And I definitely always had my eye on this car. And it was a long process before I even considered getting a car like that. It’s a childhood dream. My original car is the one I drive everywhere. I mean, I’ll occasionally take it for a spin. But it’s more me just being a car fan.

[From GQ Australia]

For the record, Lautner’s immensely expensive car spends most of its time in the garage of the home that he still shares with his parents. The journalist also hints that the rumors about Lautner’s sexuality will also be addressed in the full interview, you know, whatever that means. Finally, I know that a lot of you are getting sick of the Tom Cruise analogies, but the article makes very pointed mention of Lautner’s “Cruise-like” smile, so we might as well at least surrender to that small comparison. It’s true! Not to mention much less frightening than the rest of this dirt-lip photoshoot:

Photos courtesy of GQ Australia

Werewolf-llama hybrid Taylor Lautner appears in the November issue of Vogue Italia under the headline, “Not Only a Pinup Boy.” Well, from the looks of the accompanying photoshoot, he’s also a bit of a water baby too. Unfortunately, the magazine’s interview isn’t so much a discussion with Lautner as a cheerleading article that praises his abdominal muscles and general wolfy prowess in front of a camera. I punched a great portion of it into Google Translate, and the most interesting part riffs on Mark Wahlberg’s words to Leonardo DiCaprio during a luncheon (last August) for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Here’s a refresher on that statement:

I’m sitting at a table with a gentleman who is better looking than you and is in better shape than me. So, we’re both out of a job, dude. Taylor Lautner! We’re screwed. It’s over, dude. Titanic and Boogie Nights were a long time ago. I accept it. I had a good run and on to the next.”

[From Us Magazine]

And here’s Lautner’s response in the Vogue Italia article:

The applause are all the new “it boy” of Hollywood, the nineteen year old born in Michigan, after years of apprenticeship, and to be successful in the role of Jacob Black, the werewolf Native American who has wowed crazy crowds of teenagers with his abdominal, a smile and dimples like Robert Mitchem. Actually Taylor is classic and the muscular and if anything a boy with enthusiasm and passion for his work, with impressive work ethic and a deep respect for the fans, colleagues and family life. “It was an honor to receive such a compliment from one of my childhood idols,” he says about the speech of Wahlberg,” as well sitting next to people who I admired when I was still nobody really incredible.” The list of his favorite actors also include Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and Tom Cruise. I attribute much following in the footsteps of Matt Damon with the series of “Bourne” has created a new “action hero.” But my absolute myth is Tom Cruise; whom I admire in particular and did the manufacturing [of the action hero]. I’ve always had a passion for the “occupation” of cinema.

Okay, Lautner is humble enough with his phrasing, so I’ll give him that. However, unless something has been seriously lost in translation, he appears to have missed out on the true action heroes of the ages. Charles Bronson? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Just to name a few, but Lautner’s too busy praising the guys that he thinks will get him somewhere. If he’s that interested in kissing butt to get places, Lautner just needs to take a motorcycle ride with Tom Cruise and get it over with.

Now, what of this photoshoot? I don’t even know where to begin with this back flip business … it reminds me of something N’Sync would use as a promotional image back in the 1990s.

Photos courtesy of Vogue Italia

We’d all be well-advised to prepare for the impending publicity onslaught of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn (Part One), which shall arrive in U.S. theaters on November 18. As part of the early assault, Kristen Stewart covers the November issue of Glamour and is also interviewed by Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. The resulting article is not an illuminating one at all, and Meyer’s skills as an interrogator are about on par with her abilities as a novelist, but I guess most of us have no room to talk without our own wildly and inexplicably successful book series to match, right? Here are a few excerpts:

On Shooting Breaking Dawn‘s Wedding Scene: [T]he last night…I was exhausted, and it’s funny, Rob [Pattinson] was actually way more energetic than I was at the end of it. Even thinking about it now kind of freaks me out. On the final night of filming, I was literaly pulling out my hair and crying and having to walk away for a second because my voice wasn’t working anymore.

On Embracing Bella: I like Bella so much. In order to play a part like that, you have to believe in every crazy decision that she makes.

On Whether She Wants To Direct: Yeah, really, really badly. Me and Dakota [Fanning] were having this conversation the other day actually, and she also wants to do it really bad. It will happen, I think. I also really enjoy being an actor, so I’m fine. I mean, I’m not finished …

On Being Misquoted: It bugs me! False impressions are the worst! It definitely makes me watch my words. Even right now, I’m going, OK, how do you walk about this? And you’ve got to have a filter.

On Watching Breaking Dawn For The First Time: [I]t’s fun to watch it with [Taylor Lautner] because we actually sit and watch it. Me and Taylor are actual Twilight fans, so we can sit there and be totally into it! Whereas I sit there with Rob … he likes it, but he has such a different energy. I’ve always just loved Jacob and Bella so much. Taylor is great in this one.

On Her Style: I have a uniform of sorts — I will be comfortable in a certain hoodie of mine no matter what mood I am in. And there’s nothing better than a new stack of white V-necks. For me, “changing” is either a new T-shirt … or an old T-shirt. And I need pockets, ’cause if I carried a bag, I’d lose it purposely.

Somehow, I’m totally not surprised that Taylor Lautner not only really enjoys watching the Twilight movies but is also an authentically enthusiastic fan of the books as well. It’s also similarly predictable that Kristen speaks through a very sophisicated pattern of ellipses, but I am honestly perplexed to read her claims of loving both Bella and the Twilight Saga as well. Her general attitude of being above it all (i.e., her “affected emo shtick“) would lead one to believe otherwise, but maybe she just hates the red carpet and all of the publicity-related appearances that are demanded within a successful acting career. Unfortunately, the two are not mutually exclusive, so she’d better get used to it or make a decided turn towards theater acting, which I don’t see happening by any stretch.

The Glamour photoshoot is pretty cute though and shows off Kristen’s best asset — those gorgeous legs.

Scans courtesy of Team Twilight

Taylor Lautner covers the October issue of Seventeen magazine. The photos are totally boring, but that might be because I’m not into Taylor, AT ALL. When I switched to DirectTV, I got the free Showtime package, which included multiple and endless airings of New Moon and Eclipse. God, those movies are so, so bad. And I hate to say it, but Taylor’s epically terrible acting makes me wish there was more Kristen Stewart lip-biting and Sparkles’ horrible emoting and constipation-face. Lautner is the weak link of those films, and as I continue to watch, I grow to dislike him more and more. Plus, Lainey’s whole “Tom Cruise Junior” thing is right on – there’s something suspiciously “too wholesome” about this kid – he’s very manufactured, very much the perfect, asexual, toothy “product” to be sold to young girls. Plus, I just don’t like his face.

Here are some excerpts from Taylor’s Seventeen interview – he’s promoting Abduction, that film that’s supposed to make him the next Tom Cruise, a little toothy action star:

On if there was an instant connection with costar Lily Collins: “Absolutely. You can feel some sort of chemistry or a connection when you are reading a script with someone for the first time. And that was totally the case with Lily.”

On where he sees himself in five years: “I believe in the saying, ‘If you aim at nothing, you’re going to hit nothing.’ So if you don’t set goals, then you have nowhere to go. I guess winning an Oscar is the ultimate dream. A lot of amazing actors go their whole career without even being nominated. So that would definitely be a goal to reach. It’s a difficult one, but I’m aiming for it!”

[From Seventeen]

Well, at least he’s not proclaiming that he WILL win an Oscar, like so many famewhores have done before. He’s just saying that it’s his goal. Good luck to him – because it’s not happening for him in five years. Or ten years. Or ever.

Going back to the Tom Cruise thing – Taylor was talking about him recently:

Taylor Lautner admits a ‘Stretch Armstrong’ film won’t be out for some time. The ‘Twilight Saga’ actor has long been rumoured to play the toy-character in a forthcoming big-screen story, but he admits other projects are on his mind before that movie comes to fruition.

He said: “‘Stretch Armstrong’ is still in the scriptwriting process at the moment, so we are waiting to hear. There are a couple of other things I’m really excited about that haven’t been announced yet.”

The 19-year-old star will next be seen in thriller ‘Abduction’, where he displays his particularly muscular frames many times, and he admits it is hard to get to a large size and keep it up.

He told Movie Hole: “It was very hard to put on, and then it was just as hard to maintain it.”

Taylor has recently revealed he would love a career similar to ‘Mission Impossible’ star Tom Cruise.

He said: “The most important thing I did was sit down beforehand and watch a lot of movie and study actors that I look up to. We studied Tom Cruise in ‘Minority Report’, Harrison Ford, Matt Damon, Denzel Washington. I would love [to follow in their footsteps]. That would be an honour, to be compared to people like that. I look up to Tom Cruise and Matt Damon. I would kill to have the careers they’ve had.”

[From Contact Music]

You can’t fault the kid for being ambitious. Tom Cruise was ambitious once too. Now he’s just hoping to hold on to some kind of foothold in Hollywood. I’m just saying… maybe Taylor might want to invest in a few years away from Hollywood, maybe go to college, experiment, live outside the management bubble for a few years. He might finally figure out why his nipples get hard whenever Sparkles touches him.

Photos courtesy of Seventeen.