Lucky bastards. The British have gotten to do what most Americans wish we could do: tell Martha Stewart to stay the hell away. The country rebuffed the domestic diva’s request for a visa – because of her criminal conviction five years ago. That’s right, the British consider Martha Stewart to be a potential threat to their citizens. And frankly, who can blame them? Though by that logic, I feel we should get to kick her out of our country too.

Martha Stewart has been banned from England — at least temporarily. The famous homemaker was denied a visa into Great Britain because of her stock fraud conviction four years ago. Martha, who served five months in prison in 2004, had plans to travel across the pond for a scheduled speech at the Royal Academy and various meetings when the U.K. Border Agency informed her it won’t be issuing her a visa.

The Agency itself refused to comment on individual cases, but stated the organization is conscious of those the country’s visitors with criminal pasts.

“We continue to oppose the entry to the UK of individuals where we believe their presence in the United Kingdom is not conducive to the public good or where they have been found guilty of serious criminal offences abroad,” the Agency said in a statement.

[From OK! Magazine]

The government actually said they thought the visa decision was stupid – though they didn’t use that exact word. But you can tell they’re thinking it. Really, really hard. A spokesman noted: “It is a bit silly given some of the other people allowed into the country.” Which makes me wonder what kind of hardened criminals they’re letting in. Martha’s rep was all sunshine and roses, stating that she loves the U.K. and is hoping to resolve the issue soon. I say if they take her they have to keep her.

It turns out Pete Wentz really was joking when he said he and new wife Ashlee Simpson were honeymooning in their basement. It sounds obvious now, but given some of the couples’ low-key proclivities, it didn’t sound that impossible. Pete said they had blow up palm trees and a tanning bed down there – and it didn’t sound that far-fetched. Luckily they’re not as low-class as that – though I’m guessing they still ate a lot of DiGiorno’s pizza either way.

The couple actually honeymooned in Turks and Caicos for five days before returning to New York so Pete could play a Fallout Boy show.

Header of Ashlee and Pete arriving at their hotel in NYC after their honeymoon. Here’s Jessica back in California yesterday. Images thanks to Splash.

Newlyweds Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz didn’t spend their honeymoon in their basement after all. Wentz told Ryan Seacrest Tuesday that they were hiding out at home, “eating DiGiorno’s pizza,” to “save that 30 grand” days after their wedding.

Turns out, they were in the Caribbean. The pregnant singer (in a bikini!) and the shirtless Fall Out Boy rocker were photographed swimming Thursday.

The newlyweds are now in New York City, where Wentz is expected to play a private Fall Out Boy show for a Sweet 16 party, New York’s Daily News reports.

The couple can’t keep quiet about how happy they are.

“I feel great!” Wentz told Seacrest. “It is sunny and 65 in my head.”

[From Us Weekly]

Pete had made the basement honeymoon comment to Ryan Seacrest when he called in to chat on his morning radio show. Ryan asked him a few pregnancy-related questions – which, despite the way Us phrased it, is not a certainty at this point – and Wentz responded: “Ryan, this baby has not been confirmed,” he said. “The only thing I’m confirming now is that we’re in the basement on our honeymoon with these blow-up palm trees.”

I’m just going to point out that the basement and blow-up foliage didn’t turn out to be true – I wouldn’t be surprised if the rumored baby wasn’t either. But what a great way to sell records and up the asking price for your chin-tastic wedding photos, no?

While Ashlee and Pete were on their honeymoon, older sister Jessica Simpson honeymooned with her husband… er, dad, Joe. And her mom Tina probably tagged along too, until Joe ushered her away. The three went on vacation to Cabo San Lucas for the exact duration of Ashlee and Pete’s honeymoon. I’m guessing Joe and Tina took Jessica away to distract her.

I imagine whenever Jessica would start to feel sad or melancholy or mention Tony Romo, Joe would try to distract her with shadow puppets. And that would probably work for an hour or two, but inevitably Jessica’s mind would wander back to her happily knocked up sister and her own myriad of ex-boyfriends. And that’s when Joe would get on the phone to some high powered agent and work on buying Jessica’s next relationship.

Supposedly Amy Winehouse is making another attempt at rehab. It’s hard to get psyched up on her behalf anymore. I’ve lost count of how many times she’s gone in the last year. And after every time she rallies she seems to fall even harder than before. And enjoy it more. I mean the girl really seems to relish all the attention she gets for being a major f*** up. That’s really the only way I can put it at this point.

According to the Sun, Amy is going to Israel for some novel approach to rehab. It’s based on one doctor’s belief that addiction is a neurological problem, not a psychological or social one. The details are vague, but he claims it cures everyone of addiction. Which makes me pretty darn skeptical.

Amy Winehouse will fly to Israel in a bid to beat her drug addiction, according to the chairman of the country’s Anti-Drug Authority. Eliezer Cohen says the Ivor Novello Award winning singer will undergo a “very short, intensive and effective treatment” costing £6,400.

He told the Jewish Chronicle: “Amy’s people spoke to a renowned Israeli institution and an Israeli professor who conducts a very special and effective method. She has requested to come to him to do this method, since it’s a method that is suitable for her.”

Andre Waismann, who will treat Amy, said: “All of my patients are discharged healthy and no longer dependent. There is a misunderstanding about drug addiction. People think it is a social and psychological problem, but it’s a neurological problem.

“Whether it’s Amy Winehouse or anyone else, it is a privilege to be able to treat anyone who is opiate-dependent, and allow them to live a normal life.”

[From the Sun]

So I’m guessing doctors don’t stress confidentiality so much in Israel? There are a lot of theories as to the origins of addiction, and even more ideas about the best way to treat it. It sounds like Amy’s family must be getting pretty desperate if they’re willing to send her so far away to get help. There are some pretty novel approaches to treating addicts, and it seems like at this point Amy should try just about anything that might work. Even just fewer drugs would be nice. What low expectations.

Amy won a prestigious the Ivor Novello Award last night for her songwriting. She showed up late to the ceremony and her father Mitch had to accept the award on her behalf. Though the fact that Amy showed up at all is impressive.

Here’s Amy leaving her Camden home at 1:30 a.m. Thursday morning with her bags packed, and heading for a hotel. She appears to have a small spot of blood on her vest, as well as fresh cut marks on her arm, and sores on her hands. Images thanks to WENN.

Courtney Love seems to have a real problem with following basic rules. In fact she seems like she’s still an obstinate little kid: if someone makes a rule, she’s got to break it. Love was recently banned from a Virgin Atlantic flight after she was caught flouting one of the most basic of airline rules: no smoking.

Courtney Love was banned from travelling on a flight after she was caught openly flouting U.S anti-smoking laws by having a cigarette in airport departure lounge. The star was due to fly to London from Los Angeles on Monday (07Apr08) to attend a gig organised by charity the Teenage Cancer Trust, but was refused boarding after she was discovered smoking in the departure lounge.

She says, “I had a fag in the first class lounge, like two hits, and they wouldn’t let me on the plane with my daughter (Frances Bean, 15). They made some big thing like I’m a f**king terrorist or something. It was embarrassing.” A spokesperson for Virgin Atlantic confirmed Love was allowed to fly to London the following evening (08Apr08) and has not been blacklisted by the company.

[From Contact Music]

Frankly I think Love is pretty lucky that she wasn’t blacklisted from Virgin Atlantic. Airlines are pretty strict these days. She would have done herself a lot more good if she’d apologized or in some way acknowledged that what she’d done was wrong. Instead she made it sound like it was all the airline’s fault for overreacting. They seem to have pretty strict rules about lighting up, and if Virgin Atlantic had given Love a pass, it would have caused a lot of people to say they were showing favoritism.

The fact that Love expected to be able to break the rules everyone else has to follow – and then go on her merry way – doesn’t speak highly of her. If she’s really embarrassed, it should be by her own behavior, not the airline’s response.

Courtney must have gone right back to London after her gig, because here she is leaving the Groucho private members club in London, at 3am, hiding her face under a bowler hat yesterday. WENN reports that the bag in the photo was full of pills that Courtney Love took out of her purse after leaving the Groucho Club. Images thanks to WENN.