Elizabeth Hasselbeck on “The View” is so out of touch with reality that she says using the morning after pill is the same as “birthing a baby and leaving it out on the street.”

That is the shittiest slippery slope reasoning I have ever heard. Elizabeth had to be schooled by Barbara who said they should discuss the topic rationally. Watch this crap:

Let me just tell you that you can make your own morning after pill with common birth control pills. I read about first it in a health magazine, and had to use it once in college after an accident. The morning after pill is just a high dose of the hormones in regular birth control pills, so this is generally safe, but it’s not comfortable and you should only do it if you have no other options. (You should also consult your doctor.)

You ovulate about 14 days give or take 3-4 days from the first day your period started. (If you have a regular 28 day cycle) So if you have an accident on the 20th day after the first day of your period you’re probably ok, but only use this guideline to take measures in case of an accident and not to have unprotected sex, that’s stupid.

If you want to go this route, just follow the instructions on the chart at the Planned Parenthood website.

Borrow a friend’s pills or take some you have on hand.

If you you’re using Triphasil or Tri-Levlen, for instance, take 4 yellow pills up to 72 hours after the accident. Wait 12 hours and take 4 more. Just follow the guidelines on the chart for the particular birth control you have.

Don’t ever be afraid to take measures, especially early on, to take care of your body.

A “big Samoan woman” beat up CSI star Eric Szmanda in a Hawaiin bar.
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The Post Chronicle is running a story that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have split up. They’re repeating an article from The Bosh that originally ran on July 25, so I don’t know why it’s taken so long for it to get picked up.

Australia’s New Weekly also carries the story:

They never seemed like a real couple anyway because Vince was always calling Jen his “pal” and refusing to acknowledge their relationship. They also famously refused to pose for pictures together, even when promoting their film “The Break Up.”

Aniston was recently spotted out without Vince looking drunk and miserable, making this story seem more likely.

Whether it’s a real-life break-up for this pair or not, only time will tell. They’re so under the radar that it’s possible that they’ve been broken up for a while.

Pictures from Hot Momma Drama.

Jessica Simpson’s controlling dad is at it again. Her manager dad Joe is said to be partially to blame for the dissolution of her marriage to Nick Lachey and now he supposedly wants Jessica to stop hanging out with Eva Longoria, because she steals the limelight from Jess.

He didn’t just tell Jessica that he didn’t like her seeing Eva, he went behind her back to dupe Eva into not attending Jessica’s birthday party with the rest of her friends.

Poor Jessica is going to be left with a half-assed hairdresser as her only friend in this difficult, single time. She needs all the girlfriends she can get and that’s awful of her dad to try to cut Eva Longoria out of her life.

Maybe now that the news has got out Jessica will tell her dad to step off finally. It’s about time she dumped him as her manager and stepped out on her own.

Here she is at Lodge Steakhouse in LA with some other girlfriends. The pictures are from Sweet Kisses.net, where they say she “shows off her fuller figure.” Teetering between a size 6 and 8 doesn’t seem like a full figure to me, but I suppose everything is relative in Hollywood.

And who’s that tight-faced woman in the terrible pink gathered dress behind her? She doesn’t look fun or trash-talking like Eva. (Not that I like Eva, but she’s probably fun to hang out with.)

British reality TV star Emma Ryan claims David Beckham cheated on Posh with her in 1998, back when the famous couple was engaged. Beckham acknowledges that he met the woman, but says that he didn’t cheat with her. She now claims they had an affair:

Emma just arrived on “Love Island” with her equally slutty twin, Eve, so she’s undoubtedly trying to get press coverage with this latest stunt.

It might be true that Beckham cheated with her, but it was 8 years ago, so who really cares? In the spring of 2004 it came out that he cheated with assistant Rebecca Loos, so that’s much bigger news since it happened while Posh and Becks were married.

This chick is just trying to get publicity for her gig on that British reality show, and it’s working well for her since the papers are carrying this boring old story.

Here is Beckham in France on July 17th, and a picture from the German magazine “Stern.” He is shown in a composite image with slutty Emma Ryan above.

Sheryl Crow, 44, needs some help in the dating department. She calls dating “terrifying,” and uses the tired excuse that she could always meet a guy in the supermarket. Unless you’re really forward, that never quite works.

It doesn’t really matter that Crow is bad at dating. She is said to be seeing a director that Courteney Cox set her up with.

That’s nice of Crow to say she would like to adopt, and it would be great to see her settle down.

Although she was with Lance Armstrong for a while, I don’t think Sheryl Crow is entirely straight. In 1999 I went to a show by a NY-based all-girl band who have since hit it big. Their new lead singer at the time had a song called “Eating Crow” that she dedicated to a “famous lady she used to work for.”

Sheryl Crow was said to be dating John Stamos a couple of months ago, but that obviously didn’t work out.

She is now hanging out with Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston, and is said to be helping Aniston get over her failed relationship with Vince Vaughn.

Here’s Sheryl Crow in August, 2006 Vanity Fair and performing on the Today Show on 7/12. [via]

The PopBitch e-mail newsletter claims that Tom Cruise is scoping out Neverland ranch and may possibly purchase the freaky estate from heavily in debt Michael Jackson:

Cruise has to know that this would be an incredibly stupid move. It doesn’t matter how nice the property, zoo, and amusement park are. It would tie him to weirdo Michael Jackson and the press would have a field day.

The newsletter goes on to say that Suri might just have a big birthmark and that could be the reason why she’s been shielded from view:

That’s possible, and a very clever excuse if Tom’s camp made it up. Why has nary a bundle, car seat or covered up little baby been seen though? I don’t buy it!

Meanwhile there are preparations underway at the Celebrity Scientology Center for what Pink is the New Blog speculates could be Suri’s unvieling or Tom and Katie’s wedding.

Rebels-Rebels had these pictures of the chandelier and tents covering the compound, and Mollygood has an eyewitness report that they seem to be gearing up for something.

DListed says that there’s a “37th Gala Event” on August 5th though, which just means they’re having some sort of Scientology party.

Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett were photographed together in NY yesterday. Hartnett stopped into the Apple store to get some tech support while Johansson went shopping and ate an ice cream. Here’s the photo description from Hollywood’s Best:

Scarlet and Josh seem to have an on-again off-again relationship. They have been together for a little over a year, and It was reported back in late March that they had broken up. Josh’s reps denied the story.

Scarlet was seen partying in the Hamptoms this summer with Wilmer Valderrama, which is said to have made Josh jealous.

They have a low-profile relationship, and from the looks of these candids would rather not be photographed together.

Scarlet says she is sick of people mistaking her twin brother for her boyfriend:

I’ve never seen Johansson’s brother, but I bet he’s pretty cute.

Pictures from Hollywood’s Best.

- Victoria Beckham is back to long hair [I’m not obsessed]
- Victoria Beckham singing unplugged. It’s not so bad [OMG Blog]
- Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boyfriend, Ross McCall, is a little p-whipped, but who can blame him? [Velvet Hot Tub]
- Lindsay Lohan has nasty fingernails [Haute Gossip]
- Baseball team to host Britney Spears Baby Safety night! [Hot Momma Drama]
- Jenny McCarthy’s toga party [Celebrity Mound]
- “So you think you can dance?” top 6 review [Girls Talkin Smack]
- Sasha Cohen is a Hollywood Dog [The Bastardly]
- Tony Blair gets “Terminator” role offer from Arnold Schwarzenegger [Celebrific]
- Torrie Wilson and Stacy Keibler in a video of a lingerie photoshoot [Popoholic]
- An old friend is trying to extort money from Bruce Willis [Wizbang Pop]
- Melanie Griffith lights her 17 year-old daughter’s cigarette [Mollygood]
- Diddy and Kim Porter photoshoot in Monaco [Concrete Loop]
- 21 Jump Street star Jay Underwood is now a Baptist minister for Jr. High kids. [Faded Youth]
- Madonna and Guy Richie to renew their wedding vows [Hollyscoop]
- Star Jones denies marriage trouble [Celebrity Nation]

Remember that baby clothing venture that I was making fun of Britney for forgetting about just a couple of days ago? It seems she hasn’t dropped it after all. Word is she asked Charlie Sheen, who launched his own “Sheen Kids” line just when his estranged wife decided to air a bunch of dirt on him, if she can collaborate with him for help launching her own line of baby clothes:

That’s smart of Britney to get help from someone who already has a line of children’s clothing out. It’s rare of her to ask for advice and she should be commended.

Meanwhile Anna Nicole Smith has asked Britney to hang out with her. She’s posted a message on her stupid video diary telling Britney she’d love to be her friend:

Smith is pretty dumb if she thinks that Britney’s due date is just around the same time as hers. Maybe she’ll get some free baby clothing out of the deal, though. She’ll need the help since her website isn’t really bringing in the subscribers.