The site was down for a while today. You can blame Britney for the meteoric rise in the popularity of gossip blogs. As a stop gap measure I had to add pop-up comments instead of on-page comments for now. None of your comments are lost and if you made comments on the page they will still appear. All discussions will have to be in the pop-up windows using Haloscan for now, though. I’m sorry about that and I personally prefer on-page comments.

There are also just 10 posts on the main page now instead of 18. You can see older posts in the headline view by choosing the page links at the bottom.

I’m going to try to move the site to Drupal as it is supposedly better for high-volume sites than Wordpress. If anyone has any warnings or advice about this, please comment on this post or e-mail me at info at celebitchy.com. Tomorrow, though, I’m just going to focus on the gossip to clear my head.

Header image is adorable cat Farrusko from the Infinite Cat Project. If you’re ever looking for some stress relief just scroll through the cat images there backwards.

Britney’s many vag slips were the drunken send off to the era of free high res candid posting. I get a message just about every day asking me to take a picture down and I try to avoid posting pictures from certain agencies I know want to keep their images exclusive. I try to be nice about it though because that’s how they make a living and of course I remove everything when asked.

Perez Hilton, nee Mario Lavandiera, is kind of a snot bag to the photo agencies, and he pretty much tells them to fuck off when they ask him to remove an image. He writes dumb-ass comments on top of all the pictures so they’re unusable by other bloggers too, so he’s kind of screwing people at both ends. Maybe he wouldn’t be so hated if his blog wasn’t so damn popular and successful. He has 12 blogads now at $800 a week and 2 in the premium spot at $9,000 a week. That means he’s making $30k this week just from blogads alone.

Most of the paparazzi agencies are asking less than $1k a month for unlimited image use. If Mario bought images here and there and spent some of his massive earnings on unlimited photo usage from certain agencies he could do it legally and get on everyone’s good side. He’s making $120k a month, so you think he could spring for $5-10k worth of tax deductible images.

What the hell am I giving advice for though, I’m just as guilty as he is of pilfering images. I just don’t make much money off of it.

It’s hard to please everyone if you’re running a gossip blog, and I try but it gives me an ulcer. You try gossiping about celebrities, having an opinion, and not offending anyone. It’s impossible. Perez, though, he just rubs everyone the wrong way and he’s clearly not giving back.

There was a video that came out a short while ago of Splash News serving Mario papers while he stuffed his face with a muffin at the coffee shop where he works. I wasn’t too worried about the repercussions in the gossip blogging sphere as the papers were just a cease and desist, not an official lawsuit.

Now the word is that the paparazzi and photo agencies have banded together and have sent him another cease and desist outlining what he has to do to avoid a federal lawsuit. They basically say they’re pissed because he’s so defiant when they ask him to remove images and that he has to do it now according to their requests (site has automatic sound) or they’re going to sue him:

Perez Hilton is to be hit by a multi-million dollar federal lawsuit from the top seven paparazzi agencies in the US.
Splash News, INF, Ramey, Bauer Griffin, WENN, Most Wanted and Flynet have joined forces to stop Perezhilton.com from using copyrighted images.

“Perez claims he is making a fortune off exploiting pictures taken by photographers. He blatantly violates copyright and makes advertising revenue off other people’s works,” said Gary Morgan of Splash News.

“It is time he is held accountable for his actions. We have amassed a ton of evidence from all of these agencies detailing his infringements.

We have filed a letter to him giving him the chance to either pay up for all of his copyright violations or face the music. He only has a few days to decide.”

The seven agencies have spent the last few weeks conferring over how to stop Hilton. In an unprecedented co-operation between paparazzi and showbusiness agencies, the heads of the agencies agreed to take action.
A letter was sent demanding full payment of all infringed material or face a lawsuit next week.

I hope you guys like my witty commentary, because if that lawsuit happens it’s all editorials and watermarked low-res images.

Update: Sorry I got all philosophical there. It’s been a long day. TMZ is reporting that Perez is being sued for $7.5 million, but I don’t think that’s accurate because I read through all the documents posted on Splash News Online and they basically said that he has to comply with their requests or face the consequences. There’s no mention of an official lawsuit or a dollar amount.

Wow, Lohan isn’t defensive or anything in this appearance on The Tonight Show from November 11th. I remember reading about it at Gossip Rocks, but I didn’t find it on YouTube until yesterday.

Submitter Olivia720 at Gossip Rocks says:

Dayum! I’m just watching Leno right now and Lohan is on, promoting “Bobby”. She looks great, her hair looks really nice and she’s got a nice white dress on. Still has that goofy bandaged wrist.

So anyway, she’s really defensive and pissy and it made for a rather uncomfortable interview. She freaks out at Jay using the term “partying”.

“Oooh I hate that word!”

She looks like she’s at her wit’s end about people asking her about this. She looks seriously pissed when Jay makes a joke about Nicole Ritchie passing out from eating half a pea. Then she says something like “would you rather have her here to talk to??” MMMkay.

Here’s the video. Any shred of pity I had for Lohan for needing to go to AA disappears when watching her vain, defensive interview. Jay is not that great at keeping the interview friendly, but she should have played it off and tried to establish a rapport with him:

British rag The Sun is reporting that Lindsay owns 5,000 pairs of shoes. Remember on “Sex and The City” when Carrie was too broke to buy a condo and Carrie schooled her about how she had spent enough on shoes for a downpayment on a house? Lohan doesn’t own a house and just moved into a condo with pissed off neighbors. Maybe if she wasn’t so fond of shopping she would have a mansion. That would require settling down a little, so money probably isn’t the issue.

The header picture is of Linds at the GQ Men of the Year awards. She seems to have laid off the cutting as she’s not wearing a wrist bandage any more. I wonder if she talked to former VP Al Gore. I heard he was there and I would have been making a beeline for him, if only to get to Leo.

It looks like Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s PR relationship has been taken to a new level. Word is that Tony proposed to Eva, and that she’s anxious to be married and get pregnant with some other guy’s baby:

Eva Longoria and NBA star Tony Parker are engaged, PEOPLE has confirmed.

“Eva and Tony are officially engaged,” Longoria’s rep, Liza Anderson, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “The couple have never been happier.”

Parker, a point guard for the San Antonio Spurs, flew into Los Angeles after his game on Wednesday night and surprised Longoria at her home as she got off work, according to the actress’s rep, who added: “The proposal was romantic and perfect.”

The couple plans to wed in France next summer in what they describe as a “big, happy ceremony with lots of family and friends.”

Longoria, 31, and the French-born Parker, 24, met in November 2004. Though they played coy at first, by August 2005, the Desperate Housewives star confirmed they were a couple, asking PEOPLE rhetorically, “What’s not to like?”

Earlier in the year claimed to be Parker’s sex teacher and then tried to take back her stupid statement with even more verbal diarrhea. The two split up briefly in early October amid infidelity rumors, but Eva wasn’t having that and made sure to fly to Paris to be by Tony’s side. Now that she’s engaged she can focus on planning the perfect wedding and talking smack to the press about what a pain all the arrangements are.

Pictures of Eva in a wedding dress are screencaps from the George Lopez show and were found a while ago at SuperiorPics.

Sorry for the two Lohan stories today, but just when I was wondering what the skank was up to at the GQ Men of the Year awards party, Page Six ran a pretty juicy header story about it. It turns out she threw a rather typical drunken fit after downing a bunch of champagne. She screamed at a bemused Jessica Biel when seeing her with an old assistant that left Lindsay months ago to enjoy a full night’s sleep and go work with Biel. Also, just as I kind-of speculated (I know I’m tooting my own horn, but who else is going to do it?) she tried to hit on Leonardo DiCaprio and failed miserably.

Oh, and her mom Dina was there too. Did she tell her to calm down or take her aside or anything? No, she just was grateful to be able to get in with Lindsay.

When the Lohans arrived at the exclusive dinner at the Sunset Tower - joining the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Al Gore, Jay-Z, Jennifer Connelly and Magic Johnson - she “flipped out” upon seeing Jessica Biel, the luminous star of “The Illusionist,” there with her assistant.

Biel’s assistant used to work for Lohan and earned the “Mean Girls” star’s ire when she quit several months ago.

According to a witness, Lohan started screaming, “If she stays, I’m outta here! I can’t look at that girl! I can’t believe you would allow an assistant in here - she doesn’t belong in here!”

“It was really uncalled for,” said our spy. “Jessica and everyone else ignored her.”

A rep for Lohan said, “This does not sound like Lindsay.” A Biel friend said, “Jess didn’t steal anyone’s assistant - her assistant stopped working for Lindsay a long time ago. And whatever drama happened, Jess was no part of it. She is not part of [Lohan’s] crowd - she is a professional.” A rep for Biel declined comment.

Lohan was shunned at the glittering affair by other celebs who are tired of her bratty antics and bad work ethic. Overhearing her tirade about Biel’s assistant, Will Ferrell turned to DiCaprio, Gore and Affleck and said, “Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?” - setting off laughter. Later, Lohan, with a champagne glass in her hand, tried flirting with Leo, to no avail.

Also, Lohan called her ex, Harry Morton, who showed up and left with a bunch of his friends. He probably fears the inevitable stalking by Lindsay and is trying to keep her placated.

This is the girl who was said to be attending AA meetings and was seen proudly toting the group’s 12 step book and wearing a “friend’s” 90 days sober chip. As Page Six points out, Lindsay doesn’t seem to have made it to one week yet.

Here is Lindsay on the night in question. Pictures from Linds-Lo.com

Update:
Old picture, new story. At the end of the story it’s pretty clearly stated that this picture is old and that this news was circulating before.

Holy Moley, a weekly British gossip e-mail service that is similar to popbitch, is reporting that Jennifer Aniston has been visiting Vince Vaughn on the London set of his new film, and that she’s quite obviously pregnant. I thought these two were broken up a long time ago, and if Aniston is in London why haven’t we seen pictures? Oh, that’s right, no one gives a shit about her any more.

Also, the power-players on the set (we all know it’s the drivers) report than Jennifer Aniston has been dragging her huge chin there to watch her beau spin out strands of comedy magic, and she’s quite obviously lugging a mini-Vince around in her womb as she’s sweating for two.

The poor sods who have to do the real acting (learning words and not just standing there with a quizzical look and gurning), Paul Giametti and John Michael Higgins, are described as “lovely”.

[From the Holy Moley weekly e-mail newsletter]

Holy Moley also reports that Vaughn is rewriting the script of his new film between takes, delaying production and probably costing hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I thought Aniston was pregnant when she looked a bit paunchy at the premieres of “The Break Up,” back in June but that turned out not to be true. If she’s pregnant now it might be just what she needs to get some publicity and get her career back on track. She most likely realizes this. I’m not saying she convinced Vince to leave the condom off or anything, but it seems possible to me - if this suspect gossip is even true. Life & Style was also calling her pregnant in June. It’s possible she is visiting Vince and she just has a little bitty tummy.

Header image is from the German premiere of “The Break Up” in mid June of this year.

After crashing the Interwebs by posing with her legs open on four separate occasions, Britney topped it off by hanging out with vagina-naming Paris Hilton-castoff Brandon Davis, an heir to a once-significant oil fortune that turned out to be a whole lot of debt. Brandon crashed on Paris’ couch for a while this summer and seems like he was her fuck buddy. He stays in the spotlight with a combination of bombastic arrogance and luck.

On Wednesday night Brandon hung out with Britney after meeting up at The Roosevelt Hotel and they went out to a party together. Brandon might be still staying at Paris’ house as he was spotted leaving her place the next day wearing the same clothes.

It’s unlikely Paris is still diddling him, though. She was seen out in a late-night meetup with Stavros wearing a huge locket around her neck with the picture of the two of them together. Aw, cute.

As for Paris and Britney’s newfound friendship, it seems to have been replaced with Paris’ busy business schedule. She attended another even yesterday for Arbys or something, and has been seen out with Nicole this week. She probably wants Britney to know that she has to get her shit together if she wants to make it into her inner circle permanently.

Britney’s deliberate crotch slips have made it into the mainstream pop culture news. Friends and family are said to want to help her get her shit together, but she’s unlikely to accept their assistance. She once said that listening to advice was her greatest mistake. It seems she prefers to air out her nasty mistakes in public frequently, begging us all to display them for her. Paris could only take it for so long.

The header image is old from like last week, but I can’t find any newer pics that I’m actually allowed to post. Thank Perez.

Germany’s most prestigious award show, The Bambis, were on last night and I watched them for a while. There wasn’t as much hype as American awards shows and they seemed rather subdued in comparison, although there were a lot of excellent musical guests. The German reality shows lack the manufactured drama of the American reality shows, so it’s not surprising that the awards are kind of matter-of-fact too. There were awards for sports, arts and culture as well as films and acting. Here’s an article in German with a list of winners.

Samuel L Jackson was honored for his film career. Victoria Beckham was also on hand to help present the fashion award to Roberto Cavalli. She sauntered on stage in a tight Cavalli gold metallic asian dress. She made a joke to Wetten Das presenter Thomas Gottschalk that his shirt matched her outfit and ended up doing a little dance with him on stage.

The most interesting thing that happened on camera was that she kind of half-tripped while walking down the stairs afterwards but caught herself. It wasn’t too obvious, but you could tell she was a little embarassed. It’s at the very end of the video below.

Here’s the video. I actually taped it, but Schmudo at YouTube has ripped it already:

TMZ is reporting that Victoria tried to get the Associated Press to sign some sort of confidentiality agreement that they wouldn’t publish her pictures from the event or reveal anything they learned about her or something. It sounds weird, but if you read between the lines it kind of suggests she’s preggo:

At the Bambi arts awards ceremony in Germany, Associated Press said “no thanks” to the Spice Girl by refusing to sign an agreement in which Posh would limit their coverage of the alleged fashionplate, seen here in a gold embroidered bedspread from the Osaka Hilton.

The document, which also raised eyebrows with Reuters and two German photo agencies, would have allowed Beckham to get copies of all photos, with the ability to use them for promotional purposes, while restricting photogs from revealing “confidential information” they might learn about the former Spice Girl during the ceremony. Gosh, Posh, what are you hiding?

The organizers of the event eventually came up with another agreement which would allow AP to cover the event as long as they promised not to take any pictures of Beckham. They shot down the agreement, forgoing coverage of the show. The other agencies agreed, but said they would purposefully not take photos of her in protest.

It’s also possible that the “confidential information” involves a seven pound weight gain. Posh no longer looks super-gaunt to me. It’s hard to tell if she’s got a baby bump though because of the busy print on the gown she’s wearing.

It’s not really true that all the other photo agencies shunned her George Clooney-style, because Splash News has pictures of the event. People are saying the dress is ugly and not worth photographing anyway, but she looked damn good on camera to me.

Most pictures from Splash News Online. Victoria is seen with Karl Lagerfeld, but presented an award to Roberto Cavalli.

K-Fed wants a reality show, and has asked a “House of Carters” producer about helping him sell the concept to whichever lesser cable network is stupid enough to buy it. He told the guy that he wants the show to portray him in a positive light, to basically spin his story into something that makes him look good.

House of Carters Executive Producer Kenneth Crear tells Us exclusively that he is currently working on producing a reality show with K-Fed.

“It’s true,” Crear tells Us, adding that he just started negotiations with partner Billy Rainey and Kevin Federline’s manager on Monday. “We are in talks about this. Kevin came to me because he liked the way I shot the House of Carters series and the way I made Nick Carter look real and trustworthy. I gave people a different perspective of him and made people really respect him.”

Crear also confirms that they are looking at “one or two” different networks, but insists the project is just as the beginning stages.

“Kevin doesn’t dislike or hate Britney,” Crear tells Us. “The show will show him for who he is but [will] not smear her. It was just a marriage that didn’t work out, but it will show who he is beyond that.”

Crear also says they are looking at an eight episode deal that will be shot over three months, but they haven’t started shopping it around yet.

I’m surprised he didn’t approach 8 Mile producers about a fictional version of his fabulous life to date. They probably have started “shopping it around” and no one is interested or they wouldn’t have called up Us weekly to spread the news.

There was a rumor that K-Fed was offered nearly $300,000 to appear in Celebrity Big Brother in England after Britney dumped him, but nothing seems to have come of that. Now he wants his own reality show - as long as it’s done on his terms. People will watch the first ten minutes to see what a douche he is, and will flip the channel as soon as they see what kind of propaganda it is. No one bought his CD and no one is going to waste their time watching this crap. Without Britney he’s not interesting, and by the time this show comes out the public will have plenty of time to have forgotten him.

- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have not bought an English mansion near the Scientology British headquarters [Socialite’s Life]
- But TomKat has come home from their honeymoon with the head of Scientology due to bad weather [DListed]
- Britney didn’t even attempt to cover up her snatch, and the mainstream news is talking about it [I’m Not Obsessed]
- All the traffic on everyone’s gossip blog has gone up, and people are all “where’s the Britney pictures? where’s the Britney pictures?” Shove your face in Britney’s high res snatch, people, it’s out there waiting for you. [Mollygood]
- Britney Spears and her crotch killed the Internet [Agent Bedhead]
- I thought Paris was calling all the shots and that she’d kind of dissed Britney, but they were hanging out again partying last night and PopSugar thinks Britney’s the one with the power. [PopSugar]
- Britney’s birthday is tomorrow, and she may be planning something for the Billboard awards with Paris. She’s rather dumb, but even dogs can be smart [Lainey’s Gossip]
- Jude Law ate a fresh goat kidney so as not to offend a Masai family he was visiting [Suicide Girls]
- Inside Clay Aiken’s well-decorated bachelor pad [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Matt Damon says he tries to be boring to avoid media attention, but is still game for a lapdance from Hugh Jackman [Oh La La Paris]
- Nelly Furtado is Jennifer Connelly’s ugly pirate sister [yeeeah]
- Dina Lohan confirmed that Lindsay is going to AA [Evil Beet]
- Jessica Simpson’s gum is on eBay, and it’s selling for over $100 at this point [IDLYITW]
- Salma Hayek’s smoking hot black bag [Chic Mommy]
- The lost episode of Seinfeld [Tabloid Whore]
- Recreate Eva Green’s look from “Casino Royale” [Lady Licorice]
- Ralph Fiennes is farking Ellen Barkin [Gabsmash]
- Retro celebrity style [CityRag]
- Sandra Bullock says she’s not pregnant [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Fergie doesn’t realize the importance of beauty sleep [Hollywood Tuna]
- The Bastardly’s trip to Argentina is entirely tax deductible thanks to the local bikini contest they attended [Bastardly]
- Jennifer Garner in Elle. I freaking love her. [popbytes]
- Did Kimora Lee Simmons have a lesbian lover? [Rhymes with Snitch]
- Johnny Depp is practicing his singing serial killer moves for his upcoming movie at home and is freaking his family out [ICYDK]