Denise Richards’ daughter Sami says her mom’s house was ‘abusive’


Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen have two daughters, Sami, 17, and Lola, 16. I can’t believe Sami and Lola are teens. Either I don’t follow the Sheen girls closely or they’ve been pretty good about keeping them out of the spotlight. Sami put herself in the spotlight this week, though, by making some shocking allegations against her mom. According to two TikTok videos she has since made private, Sami claimed Denise’s home was abusive and she felt trapped there. Now living with her father, Sami said she’s had a “spiritual awakening” and dropped out of high school. A source defended Denise by saying she set up normal rules but neither Sami nor Charlie wanted to follow them.

The 17-year-old daughter of exes Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen is alleging she’s moved out of a “hell house,” making claims of an “abusive household.”

In recent viral TikToks captured by the New York Post’s Page Six, Sami Sheen reportedly wrote that just one year ago she was “trapped in an abusive household [and] hated myself,” claiming that she “would go days without eating or sleeping, insanely depressed, hated school, etc….”

“Now,” she then added, according to the outlet, “finally moved out of the hell house, had a spiritual awakening, own 2 cats, happy single, full of self love, and dropped out of high school:)” The posts have since been made private.

“Sam is amazing. I love her and all my children unconditionally. We’re having a ball. GED here we come,” said Charlie via his publicist Jeff Ballard.

A source confirms to PEOPLE that Sami was living with Richards last year. “Denise set normal rules that any parent would be setting,” the source says. “She’s a mom and a parent and there are rules. She didn’t want to follow the rules.”

“Charlie didn’t support implementing Denise’s rules. He has a different way of parenting and Sami decided to live with her dad,” adds the source. “Denise loves her daughter very much and she’s saddened by the situation.”

[From People]

Oof. There are so many possibilities to this one. In 2019, Denise mentioned an “obstinate daughter.” At the time, she declined to name which of her three daughters was challenging her, but this clears that up some. In that story, Denise admitted her kids would call her strict. We assumed that compared to Charlie, any parent would look strict. The question is, are Denise’s rules actually abusive or does Sami just not like them? Sami’s language is distressing, though. Not sleeping or eating because she’s so depressed is a big red flag. Page Six said that in July, Sami accused her mother of trying to kick her out of her home. However, I realize I’m taking the word of a teenager who is angry at their parent. For years we knew Denise as the strong parent who protected her kids against their father’s antics. However, there have been a few cracks in Denise’s foundation of late, mainly with her new husband who claims to be able to regenerate body parts. Maybe he’s adding to the issues at home. And maybe filming the RHOC up until last year made for a toxic environment.

As for Sami living with Charlie, which is implied in his statement, I hope it’s for the best. Charlie has shown growth since his earlier days. When he was in the thick of his addiction, it was a 10-year-old Lola he called “a f***ing pig whore” and threatened to kill her mother. So it doesn’t surprise me that Lola stayed with her mom. It also doesn’t surprise me that Charlie is laxer when it comes to the rules, even with his sobriety. If I had to guess, I’d say the issue was school. Denise touched briefly on her kids getting over involved with social media, particularly given how much their family was in the news. I’ll bet Sami hated school, wanted to drop out and Denise wouldn’t let her. But Charlie did. High school can make anything feel like hell and it would be easy to redirect those feelings on the person making you stay there.

I just hope this all has a happy ending. This was Denise’s post on Sami’s 17th birthday last March:



Photo credit: Instagram and TikTok

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59 Responses to “Denise Richards’ daughter Sami says her mom’s house was ‘abusive’”

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  1. Millennial says:

    Of course Charlie would let her drop out. I dunno, all of this raises red flags to me. I hope Sami is okay, but running to Charlie, king of abusive behavior himself, ain’t the way.

    • LillyfromLillooet says:

      Biggest red flag of all to me: the mention of two cats as part of this.

      Denise: taking care of a pet is a big responsibility, and I don’t want to end up caring for a pet you get and forget in a week. Also, you’re going to be off to college in a year…maybe you should wait until after you’re done and out of school to get a pet.

      Charlie: you want to get a cat, baby? That would be fun! How about two? Let’s go!

    • Enny says:

      Charlie has many mental health issues. Many mental health issues are genetic. Just putting that out there.

      • Enny says:

        I’m not saying that to shame Sami, but to remember the full context of her parentage. Charlie has many demons. They are not all past tense. If Sami inherited even one, she would likely rebel against any kind of structure and romanticize her dad’s lifestyle. My fear, if that’s the case, is that Charlie would be more enabler than father in this situation.

      • insertpunhere says:

        And many are caused by trauma, which these kids have had in abundance between their father and their half-siblings.

      • Golly Gee says:

        And to add to that, her being depressed may have nothing to do with her mother. A genetic chemical imbalance could be the cause, and drugs and alcohol are often used to try to “feel better“. I wonder if Charlie suffered from depression.

  2. Seraphina says:

    Being a parent is not easy. Nothing prepares you for it and I don’t like to judge BUT this is a gossip site. I can’t imagine having to raise children when you have the history and players we have here – Not a big fan of Charlie Sheen what so ever and I agree with the statement of the Housewives show probably added a whole other toxic layer here. I sincerely hope Charlie doesn’t mess her up because that kind of “mess up” could take years to undo and sometimes may never get fixed. Then Denise also has the other two kids to worry about and if they follow suit. I hope he is not an enabler.

  3. ItReallyIsYouNotMe says:

    I appreciate the even-handed treatment of this story. I don’t ever want to accuse anyone of false accusations of abuse, but it is a truth that many teenagers lack the context that the wisdom that maturity brings. In my own family something similar happened and 10 years later the person in question realized that her parents were just trying to give her structure and keep her safe and they have a great relationship now. Sami seems like a free-spirited teenager with a parent who is also a free spirit with no rules who is willing to take her in on her terms. I hope that this move isn’t deliberately to undermine Denise Richards, but that wouldn’t surprise me given Charlie Sheen’s abusive history.

    • Wiglet Watcher says:

      Well put.

    • Christine says:

      I agree, well put.

      Honestly, given the pandemic, and being stuck at home in LA for ages, I have struggled with my 11 year old. I don’t blame either one of us, it just is what it is. My son still isn’t out and about, except for school, since he’s under 12. It would be my worst nightmare as a mom to have a Charlie Sheen for my co-parent, because after a very long year trapped with me and my normal parenting rules, I suspect my son would choose a Charlie Sheen house in a hot minute. I was a nightmare teenager, I would have chosen the house with no rules and a party parent in a second.

  4. Nikki* says:

    It’s hard to parent teenagers, to know how much freedom to give them. If 2 parents have different rules, guess which a rebellious teen will prefer? When Charlie said “I love all my kids unconditionally”, he made it sound as if Denise didn’t. Making a teen follow rules may SEEM to them like you’re not loving them unconditionally, so this was kind of smarmy, and shame on Charlie for being the “anything goes” good guy. Hope Sami gets her GED.

    • LovesitinNM says:

      And at 17 it’s time to let go and help them navigate the world after they make mistakes, not control them until they are 18 and can do anything.

      • Kristen says:

        Not allowing your child to drop out of school is not controlling, it’s responsible parenting. And parents have (hopefully) been helping their children learn how to navigate their mistakes since they were little kids. Teenagers don’t have the maturity or decision making ability that they feel like have, and they still benefit from having supportive guidance and rules.

  5. Sky says:

    I think its telling that Sami said an abusive HOUSEHOLD, not her mom. I watch RHOBH and Denise’s husband is very questionable. He was also filmed grabbing her hand so tightly that she said something along the line of “stop it, you’re hurting me”. IMO, if you do something like that when you know you’re being filmed, I question what happens when the cameras aren’t there.

    • Zantasia says:

      I agree, Sky.

    • N0B0dy says:

      I came here to say the same thing Sky. I think Aaron is abusive without a doubt.

    • Grant says:

      I totally remember the hand-holding thing. The exchange was this: Denise was being confronted about allegedly hooking up with Brandi Glanville so she and Aaron (her husband) were leaving the function. As they were leaving, Denise told Aaron not to say anything as they were mic’d. Aaron’s response was, “If you keep telling me what to do, I’m going to crush your hand.” YIKES.

  6. Merricat says:

    She has a romantic notion of what living with her father will be like. Reality will not measure up, of course; that’s part of the coming of age process. Sami will probably try living on her own after this. If she doesn’t have a purpose, something to work at or for, all the Sheen money and social cachet won’t make her happy. I hope she finds something she wants or something that’s meaningful for her.

  7. Darby says:

    My teen says taking her phone away is “abusive and controlling” so I definitely can see that maybe it’s just not wanting to follow rules. Hope that’s the case.

    • LovesitinNM says:

      Have you considered that it might be? I’m not saying it definitely is but if my child tells me something like that I try to understand it as true to them.

      • smcollins says:

        @loveitinnm And then you would correct them about using language like that when it’s not warranted, right? Taking away a teenagers phone (that is most likely paid for by the parent/s) is not “abusive”. I think most people know how OTT and melodramatic teenagers can be, especially girls. Obviously I’m not saying to ignore a statement like that, but in that circumstance it would serve as a good opportunity for said teenager to learn what actual abuse is and the power of words, especially when used inappropriately and/or in a hyperbolic way. And reinforcing such a claim as “their truth” teaches them nothing but to cry foul (i.e. abuse) when they don’t like the consequences of their actions.

      • Selene says:

        Words like “abuse” and “control” should not be taken lightly, or undermined. Yes, a teen might not like it and may feel that consequences are unfair, but that’s far from being an abusive or controlling parent. Teens are at a crossroads in life where they want to push boundaries + while being very reactive + wearing their hearts on their sleeves + growing out of childhood + peer pressure and comparison and many other adolescent ingredients. Their behavior is expected, but that doesn’t mean that a kid gets to pick and choose when they obey, care or behave. Rules are not the opposite of care/love, it’s actually its foundation.

      • LovesitinNM says:

        For anyone interested you can do an online search about why punishment, teens, taking phones, does not work and can be abusive. I’m not here to change your mind but at least pretend to want to understand another parent’s view that is supported by many, many others.

      • Jules says:

        When parents don’t know how to parent and kids are brought up with no boundaries or thinking the world revolves around them… well look at the current state of the world.

      • GrnieWnie says:

        I don’t think there’s harm in trying to see something from the perspective of a teenager and taking away a phone could be considered abusive/controlling in some specific situations or under certain conditions. But…let me try to go with an analogy from my days in education admin. I often had parents coming to complain about the reading material/content in class, saying their child was performing poorly because they were bored and the teacher should make it more interesting. I would say, yes, to some extent, the teacher does have a responsibility to engage the students with the material. But there are two other points to add that I think are relevant here.

        First, sometimes the material is inherently interesting but the student lacks the (usually emotional) maturity to engage with it. Stories about love, loss, justice–these themes are universal for a reason. If the student lacks the relative maturity to connect with them, it doesn’t really matter how the teacher presents the material.

        Second, it is important for students to develop the ability to learn even when they are bored. This is a form of mental discipline critical to the learning process. Subjects are often boring at first and only become interesting at a later stage of learning. Or perhaps that “boring” material is necessary context/perspective for other learning.

        When it comes to a teenager, you have to consider what perspective they have on the issue. It is necessarily very limited. I think good parenting would be trying to provide perspective to the teenager…not necessarily simply affirming what they already think. This is important for strengthening other personal qualities as well, such as resilience and perseverance.

        Sorry for the Ted Talk, just have spent a fair amount of time thinking about how to treat adolescent feelings.

      • SKF says:

        I did look it up, there’s some interesting stuff; but none of it says taking the phone is abusive. That is a big word! They say it can damage your relationship when done arbitrarily though and explain why. Most articles suggest setting up parameters on phone usage prior to getting a phone (eg: no phones at home at night or before school), and if you do take it away, it should only be due to a phone-related infringement (eg: didn’t hand in schoolwork because on SM on their phone), or you should consider turning parts of the phone off to them rather than taking it away completely. Very interesting stuff. I looked at 5 articles, none of them called this abusive behaviour. They just advised on how it made teens feels and why and how to manage that better and essentially parent better.

    • Lurker25 says:

      Kids need boundaries to push against, especially with parents. It’s a way to test their identities, how far they can get away with things, what the nature of the relationship means/feels like, so much more…

      Done well, and adjusted as the child gets older, boundaries establish a space to feel loved and safe and secure.
      Parents who don’t want to be “the bad guy” for fear of losing the child’s love end up doing a disservice to both the child and to the relationship. Kids can tell when you love them so much you’re willing to be uncool/mean/whatever and can smell the insecurity beneath the “anything goes” parent.

      Apologies if I sound judgy. I didn’t grow up in the West and I’m constantly surprised, navigating between what my age group tells me of their childhood/parents (some smoked pot with their kids!! Then got mad when kids tried cigs!! Smfh), their current relationship with parents, and now their own children.

      • Msmlnp says:

        I don’t think you sound judgy at all. I would go as far to say that love doesn’t exist without boundaries- including love for self, love for romantic partners, and friendships. Boundaries in parenting do create a safe and secure space. I believe in natural consequences, but if my kids aren’t doing their “jobs” which means doing well in school, picking up after themselves, and being decent and respectful to others- you better believe there will be consequences. If I don’t guide them, then the world will. I’m a western parent of two (Soon to be 3) teens, there’s no pot smoking/drinking/ nonsense allowed on my watch. They aren’t getting a “a hall pass” for me —judge away folks!!!

  8. Sofia says:

    I don’t want to discount anyone’s claims of abuse so I want to start of by saying I hope Sami is in a better place. And from what I saw on RHOBH, Aaron is beyond kooky and Denise doesn’t care about that so if he tried to parent an already angsty teenager, I can see how the situation got volatile. And Charlie in her ear probably didn’t help matters either. Denise did spend multiple episodes being called terrible by her cast mates on RHOBH because she told them not to discuss sex around her kids so from what we saw (and I admit it may not be the truth), she seemed like a fine and stable parent.

    So I chalk this up to rules Sami didn’t want to follow, Aaron being crazy, Charlie Sheen being a bad influence and general teenage angst. Again, I hope it gets better for her.

    • Golly Gee says:

      I remember watching Denise’s reality TV show: “It’s Complicated“ and being very impressed by how down to earth she is and what a caring mother she is. So I wonder if this has something to do with the new husband as has been speculated above in this post.

  9. detritus says:

    My friends teen told her that she was abusive for not paying for his motorcycle driving licence and insurance the other day. It’s hard to treat these allegations seriously, but teens don’t always have the framing or words to describe things how we expect.

    It sounds like she needs therapy and a psychiatrist, not an escort buying drug addicted ‘father’ who will play the friend.

    I hope she’s safe at her dads, and I hope she gets the support she needs.

  10. LovesitinNM says:

    Of course we can’t know all the details. I know for myself if my children are miserable at school I’m going to help them figure it out and if that means another school is a better fit and I have to pay for that and worry about college later I’m going to get them somewhere they can thrive. And that’s without being as rich as these two. I truly hope they are all able to heal and I hope the other children in Denise’s home are well cared for physically as well as emotionally.

  11. Lady Luna says:

    Damn, here you do everything to protect your kids and this is how they pay you. She sounds extremely entitled.

  12. Chaine says:

    They are all hot messes but I would vote for Denise as the more stable parent. I think it’s common in divorced households that the children see the non-custodial parent as the fun one because that parent isn’t involved in day to day humdrum discipline and parenting. Maybe once Sam has lived there for a bit she will realize Charlie’s not all he’s cracked himself up to be.

  13. Alexandria says:

    Wish her the best and that she is in a better place regardless with which parent. And if she needs help later on, I hope at least one parent offers a safe space.

  14. Eating Popcorn says:

    Let’s not forget how tough it is to parent during a Pandemic! Many, many children suffered depression and anxiety during the COVID – remote learning and being away from their peer group did not help. How do you keep your teens away from their friends during lockdown? Wishing all of them the best of health!

    • sassafras says:

      THIS x 10000. I’m also parenting two teens during a pandemic and… it’s hard. They want to go places, see friends, do things and every time I ask about social distancing/ wearing a mask/ who’s vaccinated… well, it’s a constant battle between keeping them safe and letting them fly. I don’t know Denise’s views on pandemic stuff but having a kooky husband and a medically fragile (?) child AND living in California AND having Charlie Sheen in the background is all more complicated than my life and my life is hard enough.

      I hope they’re all doing as well as they can.

  15. Whatnow says:

    She says she went days without eating or sleeping and would be insanely depressed — sounds like bipolar to be.

    I don’t say that lightly but given what we’ve seen of Charlie’s behavior it’s very easy to believe there could be a mental illness manifesting itself.

    I pray Charlie does not bring any drugs into the mix with her.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      This was the big red flag for me, too… saying you’re so depressed for days that you don’t sleep or eat and now everything is OTT perfect. It sounds like cycling to me, and there is a genetic component to bipolar disorder. I hope she can be evaluated sooner than later and get her life steadied if it is necessary. Delays in diagnosis can be 10-15 years and that’s a loooong time to suffer.

      Also, Aaron seems like a prick, and kind of crazy; based on footage I’ve seen, I think he possibly is a substance abuser. Abusive behavior toward family and substance abuse often go hand in hand. Poor Sami.

    • Jamie says:

      I have no comment on this particular situation, but as a professional in the mental health field I would like to point out that PTSD is frequently misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder can be a very significant diagnosis to have on your medical history as well.

      Many teens (and adults) may not know/understand the trauma they have been through, may have blocked it out, be in denial, or not be willing or able to talk about it. Antidepressant medication does not address as many of the symptoms of PTSD as mood stabilizers and antipsychotic medications do.

  16. Molly says:

    I really hope this ends well, but statistics are not on her side. The child of a mentally unwell addict with a ton of money is about to walk into a home with relatively few boundaries or rules.

  17. Daphne says:

    Denise’s husband reminds me of a delusional
    cult leader. She seemingly lost her spark one season to the next after she got married. I think he manipulated her to get inside and then unleashed his tendencies.

  18. teecee says:

    Is “abusive” is “not letting me drop out of school” or “not willing to keep bankrolling me if I, a teenager, drop out of school”?

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      There are other options… if school is so emotionally stressful, look into online learning.

  19. psl says:

    This whole situation is worrisome, and I hope they can get Sami straightened out before she goes the way of her Dad.

    Good luck to them all.

  20. Serena says:

    Well, I don’t know, to me it seems like typical teenage drama/angts plus a spoiled rich one at that and that she decided to live with her known-abuser dad kind of seals it.
    I don’t know about Denise husband though, so it could be that too.

  21. TIFFANY says:

    Those girls are Estevez’ through and through. Sami looks just like her Uncle Emilio.

  22. JennyJenny says:

    My son was 14 when he wanted to move across the country to California to live with my ex, his Father.
    I tried everything in my power to get him to stay, but he felt I was too strict and too demanding. Shocking!!! Do your homework, do your chores, be home at a reasonable hour!

    Ultimately he left. I received an email one month later telling me he’d made a horrible mistake and could he come home. As much as it broke my heart, I had to say no.
    I told him that was the choice he’d made and would have to stick it out much longer to see what would happen.

    LONG story short, he eventually quit school, hung out with a terrible gang and was always in trouble. His Father did nothing to help him. And the step-mother made his life a living hell…

    Fast forward to today ~ we have a very close, loving relationship. He got his GED and works hard as a Chef.
    This story just resonated with me on a personal level…..

    • CuriousCole says:

      @Jenny, why did you “have to” say no to him returning?

      • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

        I’m left wondering the same… Why tf wouldn’t you welcome your child back with open arms after allowing him to move to an environment you question his long term well-being? I can’t imagine saying no to a child in that situation. It’s a real head scratcher.

      • Lurker25 says:

        I don’t understand that either. Why was it not possible to have him back? He admitted his mistake, which is the learning he needed it seems?

      • Jesma says:

        She didn’t have to, she chose to. Probably to teach him a “lesson” for leaving her.

      • ANON says:

        Agreed. We don’t know the nuance of your and your son’s story, of course. However, I don’t love the suggestion of comeuppance that I sometimes see in parenting talk.

    • GrnieWnie says:

      I’m glad everything worked out in the end. But I am not a believer in letting mistakes stick to kids. Teenagers make mistakes. We try not to turn them into the kinds of mistakes that have lifetime consequences. Living with an unfit parent is definitely that sort of mistake.

    • canichangemyname says:

      Of course, I can’t speak for JennyJenny, but I know if this happened to me, my reason would probably be financial. My son is 13 and his father lives across the country. My son hasn’t asked to go live with him, but if he did I would have to make it abundantly clear that if he changed his mind I would not be able to just immediately purchase a cross-country flight home.

  23. HeyJude says:

    There’s one thing about deadbeat dads like Charlie- they lose interest eventually.

    My nephew runs to the dad who left him and his siblings completely and has not been in their life regularly since he was 5 whenever his mom pisses him off by cutting off the gaming because he’s not taking care of himself or his schoolwork.

    It doesn’t last more than a week before deadbeat dad goes back to ignoring him again and he calls his mom to come home.

    What I’m saying is, Charlie will be Charlie eventually here.

  24. Terri says:

    My 11yo thinks I like her brother better because she is expected to clean her area around the table and unload the dishwasher nearly every day. My rules are “excessive”. He meanwhile has the job of loading the dishwasher and and cleaning his area around the table and doesn’t complain. “strong” girls are hard to raise.

    I do think Denise went stricter than she probably needed to, because Charlie was a “free for all” and it was all on her. And even on her show way back when, she had a lot of rules, for the dogs and her dad and the running of the house. Teenagers are hard, Covid has not been easy on our kids with the lack of social interaction that they need and deserve.

  25. Apple Cart says:

    i’m sure Charlie is more than happy to stick it to Denise and that’s less child support for him. Once she turns 18 I hope she has a plan. He will turn on her like he turns on everyone and she best have some plan to support herself. Or she will just go back to Denise with her tail inbetween her legs. And Denise seems like nothing but a loving Mom just doing the best she can in the situation.

  26. Jess says:

    I remember how hard Denise fought to literally save them while Charlie was spinning out of control. This must be really painful for her.