Globes fashion: Christina Hendricks and the shoulders & boobs problem

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Okay, I’m kind of stretching for this “trend” post, but in my mind, all of these bitches are connected because they’ve all got too much stuff happening above the waist. Sometimes it’s strange or off-putting shoulder details, sometimes it’s crazy stuff happening in the bust. So… that’s how I’m connecting them (don’t yell at me, bitches). Let’s take Christina Hendricks up there, the very definition of “top heavy” (her photo is in the dictionary under “top heavy”). The red gown is Romona Keveza, likely made specifically for Christina. While I like that Christina didn’t go for a pastel (those tend to wash her out), the red shoulder piece completely overwhelms the look. It’s too editorial, and it’s just wrong on a woman who is already extremely top-heavy. But I like the red, Chrissy!

One of the highlights of the evening was all of the Lea Michele cutaways – the reaction-shot camera was stuck on her, and her over-acting and fake crying was absolutely hilarious. Plus, the bitch lost. And Jane Lynch made fun of her. So the fact that Lea wore a “pretty pink princess dress” with this ugly bust-shoulder detailing, made of cheap-looking taffeta, was pretty awesome. She looks like a Pepto-Bismal carpet stain.

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This is a Pear-Ass intervention. Jennifer Love Hewitt has NO IDEA what to wear now that she’s gained some weight. Like, she doesn’t realize that MORE fabric makes her look heavier. And yes, the extra fabric and detailing on the bust is tacky as hell, and completely ugly.

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Piper Perabo in black, with what appears to be a tacked-on shoulder bow. I don’t hate the idea of a shoulder bow, and the dress would be slightly boring without it, but the bow just seems like an afterthought. And it’s totally limp too. Also: Ugh, I can’t believe she was nominated.

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I didn’t hate Julia Stiles’ dress. It was kind of too much tulle, but I got it. And the shoulder detailing is appropriately balanced by the fuller mermaid skirt.

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I said this last night in the Open Post – Natalie Portman has taken the “Rose Boobs” throne away from Charlie “Rose Boobs” Theron. All hail the new Rose Boobs! But seriously, did anyone take a good look at Natalie’s dress? It was a MESS. The fit was completely off and there was too much fabric and weird bunching. As for the Rose Boobs… well, I thought the effect was really tacky and cheap-looking. Whatever.

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Leighton Meester -this dress was just hideous, all over. Not least of all because of the dumb shoulder detailing.

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January Jones usually shows too much skin, but did anyone else see her pop her boob back into her Versace as she got out of her limo? I guess her boob came out to wish everyone well at the Globes. But yeah, January Jones… tacky or sexy? I can’t decide. She’s so pretty, and her figure is amazing, but the whole effect was rather tacky, IMO.

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Anne Hathaway was probably the best of the big-shoulder trend. This dress was really, really beautiful on Anne, and it would have been mind-blowingly gorgeous without the puffy shoulder detail. Imagine if this dress had just had straight-cut shoulders and arms. Can you picture that? How gorgeous would Anne have looked in that? With these shoulders, the whole thing looks dated.

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UPDATE: OH GOD I forgot Julianne Moore’s monstrosity. Julianne might have been the worst dressed of the night! God, this was hideous.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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67 Responses to “Globes fashion: Christina Hendricks and the shoulders & boobs problem”

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  1. beth says:

    o jesus christ, if she was trying to draw attention AWAY from her boobs, FAIL. it just looks like a third boob.

  2. Anon says:

    Like Natalie’s (better in photos because you don’t get the glittery bow effect), liked January’s (it was fun to look at and looked pretty on stage), loved Anne’s!

    Julia Styles’ was acceptable, but the rest… meh.

  3. Kj says:

    All those bows and poofs seemed like such slapped together afterthoughts. It’s like the designers said “Hm….too boring. Aha, I know! We’ll put a bow/flower/pouf/weird accenting around the shoulder and bust!” Way to phone it in. Plenty of those dresses wouldve been better w/o the detailing (coughPORTMAN).

    January Jones dress, while I like the concept, looks better in theory than in practice. It’s technically made to look like it’s constructed of long tassles, but it creates these unattractive puffs and bubbles. If the fit was a little more snug around the bust it wouldn’t look so sloppy.

  4. Anti-icon says:

    January Jones — Looked beautiful, and really attempting to bring awareness to her show through provocative clothing….but it’s just too revealing…for this event. (She will get massive publicity for it, ala JLO and her Versace green dress at the Oscars — been there, done that. JJ is a stunningly beautiful actress and only her body could support this creation.

  5. Rita says:

    Christina- Yeah, too much foo-foo on top but what a classic redhead beauty.

    Jennifer- Looks nice but my husband thinks those “injured pouch” collars are made to throw quarters into.

    Anne-With those eyes and that smile, she’d look good walking the carpet naked. (Especially good)

    Natalie- That Rose looks like a crow dropped it on her after having breakfest in a strawberry patch.

  6. Kj says:

    And Leighton Meesters whatever the fuck she’s wearing is hot garbage. Whoever told her that dress was a good idea should be shot. Awful.

  7. Anti-icon says:

    Julianne Moore has hideous style. She always has. She is the Tilda Swenson of USA. And I love her acting. And her personality.

  8. Shay says:

    I feel like I’ve just stepped into a time machine and have been transported to the Eighties. Frou-frou overboard!

  9. caramia says:

    reminds me of my granny’s mother’s day orchid

  10. brin says:

    Christina is a big girl in red, ok, we see you, you don’t need a big shoulder-boulder for more attention.
    I liked Piper Parabo’s dress and look (but that’s a bad pic).
    Anne looked good. Leighton took the school marm award, and January Jones is gorgeous but I’m not crazy about the dress.

  11. Hanna says:

    LOL! Lea’s got a really strange dress. Not strange. Ugly!

  12. Hautie says:

    I like Christina’s red dress. I like Piper’s dress… and Jennifer Love’s too!

    I find the red looks great on her and her boobs were in place. Not hanging out everywhere from a poor fitting dress.

    Piper’s black dress looks good on her. She is a super tiny girl and she did not over dress for her size. Not crazy about the hair or lipstick tho. And I love her show on USA. And I was thrilled for her to get the nomination.

    Now my girl Jennifer Love. The dress fits correct. I like the color and the cut. She also has the big boob issue and normally has the girls sitting all cockeyed. But I think she looks lovely here.

  13. Hakura says:

    The hell? Is JenLH wearing a wedding dress? It’s a toss up between wedding & prom wear. So not working it.

    I have some *very* slight OCD tendencies when it comes to asymmetry in clothing.

    A little isn’t a big deal, but huge details like that makes me think of the ‘Flintstones’ opening credits where the waitress puts this huge ‘rack of dinosaur ribs’ on the car… causing it to overbalance & fall on it’s side.

    It doesn’t do anyone’s bodies any justice… it’s distracting & obnoxious.

  14. gloaming says:

    Christina- Don’t like the dress but I think the shoulder piece detracted from her boobs and minimized them. She should have worn her hair up though.

    Leah Michele-Completely overshadowed by Jane Lynch’s comments.

    JJH-Ugh

    PP- Loved that dress when she moved around. But her stupid facial expressions when she was posing were to distracting.

    Julia Stiles looked lovely.

    Natalie’s flowers looked awful and her dress was wonky most of the evening. But she has pregnancy brain so she should get a pass.

    Agreed on everything else.

  15. ViktoryGin says:

    Christina Hendricks always looks like she got popped in a fashion drive by.
    Are we hoping that one day she’ll look good on accident?

    And I dislike most red heads in red almost as much as I dislike all red heads in pink. I’m looking at you Julianne Moore.

  16. SassyOne says:

    LM’s dress would’ve been lovely if it were sleeveless & v-necked.

  17. Isabel says:

    The second I saw Julianne Moore’s dress, I immediately thought of the Go Fug Yourself girls and how they are always so right on how everything she wears SUCKS. And she’s SO PRETTY.

    JJ…snore. Saw her get out of the limo. Wasn’t impressed. I don’t even understand the dress. Do we have any photos of her doing the walk of shame in it??

  18. Cheyenne says:

    @robb7: except for the shoulder pads.

    Please don’t tell me shoulder pads are back. They look god-freaking-awful on any woman who wears them.

  19. bros says:

    I was so disappointed that the creative masterpiece Inception got totally shut out. and kept losing to that dumb facebook movie. Everyone is so up facebook’s ass! ugh!

    also Lea michelle and her gumby muppet face! why did we keep having to see her? she is so fake!

  20. malachais says:

    This looks like some kind of recap from ’81 Golden Globe hot mess. I dunno who looks worse here. It seems like a trend though, funky old-looking satin, tulle, or sequins.

    Anne and Julia looked best, but its still looks like Golden Globe prom of ’81.

  21. Leona says:

    No megan fox commentary?

    Honestly I didn’t even notice her dress since, you know, the girl looked like a FREAK. good lord! she looked like one of the Beverly Hills housewives in the face, and her body was emaciated. she clearly has a plastic surgery addiction as well as an eating disorder. it’s hard to feel sorry for her though because she did bring it on herself. unfortunately, putting all her eggs in the vanity/male gaze basket isn’t paying off on a personal or a professional level. it’s a shame because maybe if she had some girlfriends, she would have someone who cares about her enough to sit her down and get her some help… obviously, her 40 year old douche of a husband likes his 24 year old trophy deathly insecure, and whatever male friends she has aren’t bothered with her rapid transformation into a haggard porn star.

  22. heb says:

    Uh is it just me or do pink and red CLASH?! (looking at you natalie)

  23. louise says:

    Why do people think the giant bow or flower is pretty? Usually the dress is beautiful but the big detail ruins it. Also Natalie shouldn’t have worn a necklace. The big flower and necklace combo was too much. I really like Jennifer Love’s dress. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Her hair is a whole different story.

  24. someone says:

    I don’t think redheads should wear red..Im just saying.

  25. gaugustaus says:

    Julianne Moore looks like she tucked her dress into her necklace.

    I liked Julia Stiles dress, I thought it was very pretty.

    Natalie Portman looked budget & cheap. I sort of liked the color combo because it was different but the iron on rose was horrible.

  26. lola lola says:

    Leighton looks like she stole that dress from the closet marked “old costumes of Little House on the Prairie”.

  27. Carol says:

    I thought Julia Stiles looked really good – one of the few women whose hair and makeup matched her gown and whose gown actually fit well.

  28. YAY says:

    News Flash – The 80′s are back, like it or not. Remember how freaked out everyone was when skinny jeans came back? Some people seem to be a little slow on the uptake.

  29. original kate says:

    i think julia stiles looks great, actually. i love her dress. christina, when you are a curvy gal let the curves speak for themselves. jj is lovely and i liked her dress but it’s a bit bare. why does JLH’s stylist hate her? and julianne is one of my faves but lordy, she always dresses like shit.

    @ cheyenne: so true. the only woman who could rock shoulder pads was marlene dietrich.

  30. JO says:

    Google what she looks like without make up… Major Fug

  31. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    Holy Sh!t on a stick!!! Julianne’s dress blinded me!!!

  32. sapphire says:

    When will someone tell JLH that the intense eyeliner gives her the same look as a crazed rodent?

    I love Ms. Moore as an actress, think she’s interesting as a person and doesn’t own a mirror. I am being charitable.

    What’s up with Christina A’s face/

  33. Az says:

    I’m just happy Jennifer Love Hewitt finally got to wear that wedding dress she’s been saving in her closet for so long.

  34. Rachael says:

    Anne Hathaway looked amazing as stated. I like the shoulders, that’s in right now. I’m into it.

    What the hell was January thinking? Stripper dress.

    and I love Julianne Moore….teflon as Amber Waves is and all…but dang that dress is fug.

  35. hairball says:

    January Jones would look better as a brunette.

  36. Lukie says:

    What I posted on twitter after viewing Natalie’s dress:

    “Does anybody look at Natalie Portman’s dress and immediately think of the Friend’s episode when Phoebe spills hummus on her dress and covers it up w/a hideous, sparkly, Xmas flower decoration?”

    I think that pretty much sums it up…

  37. Crash2GO2 says:

    I love Anne’s dress, and she really pulled it off.

    Julianne looked horrific. Dear God.

  38. Twez says:

    @someone, who said, “I don’t think redheads should wear red..Im just saying.”

    I really agree, and I was a redhead for a large portion of my young adulthood. Maybe a darker auburn hair color wouldn’t clash so much as Christina Hendricks’, but I’m not sure. That tomato red gown just makes her hair look orange.

  39. Kim says:

    AND THE GOLDEN GLOBE FOR WORST DRESsED GLOBES GOES TO THE 2011 GLOBES!!!! These are the worst dresses i have ever seen. All of the dresses worn are terrible! I cant even find 1 i love and can barely find 2 i even like!! I dont hate Leas dress, for her age i think its ok.

    Natalie is showing alot already and her dress would have been so cute but that red flower – yikes! awful.

    Christina Hendricks cant dress. She never looks good. She always looks fat which means she doesnt have someone who can dress her top heavy body appropriately. Then again when you have hideous fake huge boobs there isnt much anyone can do to make u look classy/good.

    What is Leighton wearing? Oh lord! Do not try to pretend you know fashion because you are on a gossip teen show.

    Jennifer Love Hewiit oh the poor girl. I have weak spot for her because I feel like she tries, she really tries but she just cant dress for the life of her.

    Piper looks terrible also.

  40. Mairead says:

    I disagree on Christina’s dress, I think it’s the most balanced she’s been in aaaaages.

    I don;t think Jennifer looks big as much as stumpy.

    I’m sure I’ve seen January Jone’s dress before, possibly in blue – I’ll just go ahead and blame Blake Lively.

    My girl Julia looks gorge!

    Lea – feck off.

    And I reckon Natalie Portman’s dress looks better in person, but the lighting and flash photography has drained out any subtlety and brought out the worst in the satin.

  41. Ari says:

    I agree Anne Hathaway should have went 70′s sleek on the shoulder line instead of 80′ office worker.

  42. Vi says:

    i like christina’s dress. i don’t think the shoulder thing is too much. however january jones’ dress looks like a curtain tassle

  43. Solveig says:

    Leighton Meester’s outfit isn’t ugly per se. It’s her that makes it look hideous.
    I don’t want to comment on Natalie’s dress mess, nor on Julianne’s.

    Edit: didn’t Anne already wear a dress like this one she’s wearing at the GGs, but shorter?

  44. Ashley says:

    WTF is with this awful HUGE shoulder detailing trend.

    It’s terrible. Stop it, immediately.

  45. Maritza says:

    Leighton Meester’s and Julianne Moores’s dresses were awful but the rest were quite pretty. Natalie’s dress with the flower looks very cute on her. Cristina Hendrick looks fabulous and so does the rest.

  46. Rosanna says:

    I loved Anne and her dress

  47. Matt says:

    Julianne Moore looks deranged.

  48. phlyfiremama says:

    I guess I’m the only one who thought JLH’s dress was stunningly beautiful. I loved it! Julianne Moore…its like ..shes TRYING to look horrible, and its really hard for her to do that since she is so beautiful. HBC-I love her so much, but lets face it-she was a hot mess last night. Kyra Sedgewick-wow! WTH? is going on with Eva Longoria? The Granny Freeze & Joan Rivers shot toether totally cracked me up, thats a lot of plastic surgery & botox between the 2 of them

  49. Fae says:

    Speaking as a redhead that wears unusual clothing…. that red is just awful. Fire your stylist or your eyes, honey. Fuck it, fire all three.

  50. KJEFF says:

    why does natalie portman always look like she’s smelling a dirty diaper?

  51. KateNonymous says:

    Re: Christina Hendricks. I really like her acting, and think she looks spectacular, but that’s not a natural shade of red. And I don’t mean she dyes her hair (which we all know she does, it’s not a secret). I mean there’s nothing natural about that shade, no matter how she got it. I’ve thought that throughout the run of Mad Men.

    But, yes, redheads can wear red–as with any color, and any coloring, it’s a matter of picking the right shade. (I’m a redhead, and I wear red–just not all shades of red, and ditto pink.) This is close, but not quite. And I think the thing that needs to change is her hair, because the red looks great with her skin. She looks pale (which she is,) but not washed out.

    And if it weren’t for the shoulder mess, the dress would be a fantastic cut for her.

  52. Hakura says:

    @Someone“I don’t think redheads should wear red..Im just saying.”

    Totally agree. Ever since I started dying my hair as a teenager, I’ve picked bright reds (I’m so fair that my natural color makes me look ill xD). Reds just automatically clash.

    Personally, I don’t think light pinks look good with bright reds either.

  53. Mary says:

    January Jones look like a Cuby Doll from Hawaii and she should be sitting on a dash board. Seriously

  54. gg says:

    I agree with someone and Hakura! Red hair looks horrific on redheads and so does hot pink. I’m lookin at you Juliette.

  55. Dhavy says:

    If Molly Ringwall would have been here I would have called it “Pretty in Pink” reunion.

    WTF? These are the worse gowns I’ve seen in an award show. I hope the Oscars are better

  56. jane says:

    Natalie’s dress looked like someone just quickly bought some cheap fabric and rose from the local Joann’s store and put it all together. Guess someone was trying to be Scarlett O’Hara’s maid, but didn’t work.

  57. marisa says:

    I loved Natalie Portman’s look.
    Chrisitina Hendrick’s dress looked like it was trying to swallow her head.

  58. MM says:

    Wow, why the hate for Lea Michele? Girl’s got talent and she looks cute here. She’s young, so her youthful dress is appropriate.

    Is Natalie trying to look more pregnant to get more votes? She’s not far enough along to need that kind of maternity dress.

  59. JM says:

    Can we start a petition to abolish the stupid hand-on-hip pose? Please?

  60. apsutter says:

    Julia Stiles looked really pretty and I love the look on her face and her body language during award ceremony’s and such. Like she realizes that she’s more than an actress and could walk away at any time and lead a happy life.

  61. whatuseeiswhatuget says:

    Bad color choice for Hendricks. Red heads should never wear red; it’s just way too much! Same goes for Moore, although i don’t think anyone can save her from that epic fail of an “outfit”. Hathaway looks absolutely breathtaking and nailed it! Without the strong shoulders, the dress would’ve been totes boring. Digging Stiles’ dress too, and I actually like Meester’s dress but would definitely not wear it to a red carpet event like the Globes.

  62. S says:

    I actually love Natalie and Leighton’s looks. Best of Natalie’s maternity style so far, and I am already coveting Leighton’s with considerable envy. They both look beautiful.

  63. jayem says:

    I like the shoulder pad dresses. They give the girls an hourglass figure.

  64. Happy Pilgrim says:

    Anne and Piper (and that show on USA/her role is good) looked awesome. Didn’t mind Christina…

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