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Kris Jenner takes the “25 Things You Don’t Know About” in this week’s US Weekly, with her daughter’s 1.0 face and airbrushed “size 2″ bikini body on the cover. This was probably something Kris negotiated with US as part of Kim’s kover, and she manages to fit in a little pitch for her QVC clothing line. Kris’ list is pretty narcissistic and self-important, and it lacks any self deprecating humor, like Anderson Cooper or Kal Pen’s lists. It’s not as obnoxious as her sort-of son-in-law Scott Disick’s list, or as braggy as actor Joe Manganiello’s. It’s just about on par with what Paris Hilton wrote about herself, and I even found a lot of the same topics covered between Paris and Kris. It’s all about the things Kris likes and what she’s accomplished, and somehow we’re expected to find it interesting.
1. My husband, Bruce Jenner, bought me a Harley-Davidson motorcycle for Christmas one year. I crashed it that day.
2. I make a killer guacamole.
3. I have never had braces.
4. I learned how to surf growing up in San Diego.
5. I am deathly allergic to bees and carry an EpiPen with me at all times.
6. I relax by organizing my drawers.
7. I get crazy if someone is late.
8. I keep every card anyone has ever written me. I’m mushy like that.
9. My favorite movie snacks are popcorn and Milk Duds.
10. I sang in my own music video “I Love My Friends,” in 1985.
11. I designed every piece of clothing in my Kris Jenner Kollection for QVC, down to the stitching and buttons.
12. My favorite vacation spot is Mexico.
13. My celeb crush is Alec Baldwin.
14. I played a hooker in Cabaret!
15. I get the same three gray hairs colored every two weeks with my hairdresser Alex Roldan – for the last 30 years!
16. I love to wear sexy matching lingerie.
17. My favorite movies are Doctor Zhivago and The Sound of Music.
18. Our Christmas Eve party at home is my favorite night of the year.
19. I make my son-in-law, Lamar Odom, lemon cake once a week. Now I just have to figure out how to get it to Dallas!
20. I feel naked without sunglasses on, even at night.
21. I don’t like mean-spirited people.
22. I collect waaaay to many sets of dishes.
23. I am completely OCD about my surroundings.
24. I find peace in my heart at church.
25. My favorite person on the planet is my grandson, Mason Dash Disick.
[From US Weekly, print edition, January 9, 2012]
So both Paris and Kris assume we’ll be entertained just by knowing more about them. They don’t try to be funny or even bother to sound a little humble about anything. The thing that really bugs me is that Kris thinks we want to know that she likes to wear matching lingerie. That’s just making me imagine Bruce trying to make a sexy appreciative expression with that mask he calls a face. Nasty. At least she’s not oversharing about their sex life. That’s probably because, unlike that dude she fathered Khloe with, they don’t have one.
Written by Celebitchy
Posted in Kris Jenner
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49 Responses to “Kris Jenner’s “25 things you don’t know about” is about the same as Paris Hilton’s”
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The only positive thing I will say is I like her haircut – anything else I say is negative about her and her family.
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….or care about.
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She is ab fab. She takes care about her family and thinks about their future. I wish I had mother like her. Life would be much easier. Luv her!
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When you drank the Kardashain’s kool-aid, did you get any lemon cake?
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NO! THAT’S LAMAR’S LEMON CAKE! None for you. Or Khloe.
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AHAHAHAHA- that was a good one! wait, you were joking right?
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her left nostril is giving me the creeps. funny you should use the phrase ‘ab fab’ – have you ever seen that show? if kris jenner had a sense of humor (or a sense of anything) she could have easily fit in with that cast. British comedy is great.
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is she expecting us to believe she only has 3 gray hairs? nice try, Kris Jenner….
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yeah…caught that too!
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Three gray hairs, and that’s why she has her entire head of hair dyed JET BLACK every two weeks…OMG, she lies almost as much as Kate Gosselin, and, like Kate Gosselin, can’t keep her lies straight. We’ve seen you getting your entire mop dyed on the show, Kris. Oh, and that black hair AGES you. Everything about your family is a lie. You are truly despicable.
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Actually, I think that one was meant as a self-depreciating joke.
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Wow, just re-read what I wrote. Don’t like Kris Jenner, but that was really harsh. You’re probably right that it was a self-deprecating joke.
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I agree – may be only thing about her that is self deprecating!
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she really disgusts me
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I second that. Just lost my breakfast…
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I don’t know, for some reason I can’t really hate her…or any of the Kardashians. I KNOW I KNOW…but I think they are pretty and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want at least part of their lives…mostly the designer clothes and crazy awesome vacations.
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gross
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I realize it’s the slow news time of the year but even that kind of desperation is no reason to fill the silence with Kardashian/Jenner posts. If we don’t ignore them they’ll not go away.
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They are definitely over-exposed, but I don’t think they are really so bad.
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Same. At least it’s not the racist Hiltons.
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I can’t stand her, and her list was self absorbed. but i thought it was sweet that she made Lamar cake every week. I guess Scott and Kris never got that ‘privilege’
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Maybe because Lamar has her as his agent? If she is getting 10%, I guess the least she can do is bake a cake
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Yes, it was self-absorbed…and I won’t mention all the grammatical errors. Ha.
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What an awesome person! How DOES she do it all, and still look so fresh and lovely??! Wouldn’t you love to see her in the kitchen, whipping up that weekly lemon cake? blehhhhhh.
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Allergic to bees? Somebody find a hive quickly
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Cosign! I would even go one step further and start looking for TRAINABLE bees, the kind who will attack on command.
Now there’s a magazine cover I can get behind: “Kris Jenner COVERED in BEES!” Let’s work on this. We can do it! We just need a lot of bees.
(Actually, I’m going to just sit here for a minute and think happy thoughts about ALL of them covered in bees. Mean killer bees. Mean TRAINED killer bees in attack formation. It could be next year’s family Kristmas Kard. Happy happy, joy joy.)
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The idea of her in lingerie disturbs me on so many levels…I think I’m going to bleach my brain now.
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Saw her music video on The Soup last night. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCOy_J1jSn0
Watch until the very end, it’s so worth it!
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The end of that video is the best thing ever.
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Awesome, but it’s REALLY creepy to see frisking OJ Simpson in there!
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She’s the m-effing devil. With her cokenosejob. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for money and fame. She makes Kyle Bichtards look like the rank amateur famewhore she is.
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edit: sorry: Kokenosejob.
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Does she really want people knowing she’s “deathly allergic” to bees?
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hahaha if you’re implying what I’m thinking, that’s hilarious
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I caught that too and was wondering why she would announce such a vulnerability to the world. Of course can’t believe anything out of her mouth.
Also, she and Khloe have the same figure it seems so maybe Robert is her father.
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You know if she looks like her Mom that is no reason to suspect Kardashian is her father, right? If khloe didn’t look like Kris you might suspect Kris is not the mother.
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I smell a season finale plot cliff hanger! Sorry Kliff hanger.
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Gee, how nice it must be for her husband to know that HE’s not her favorite person on earth.
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Her. Nose.
*shudders violently*
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Kris, I really don’t want to know anymore about you and your fame-ho family. Please go sit in a field of blooming flowers with your Epipen.
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deathly allergic to bees…….hmmmm (stop thinking, girl)
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I was thinking about that too. Horrible, I know.
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I got through most of it just thinking she was a stupid famewhore, then I got to the part about sexy lingerie and I threw up everywhere. Everywhere.
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I think she got #14 confused with her real life.
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Damn..except for longer side bangs I’ve got the same haircut..don’t hate me folks. I got the haircut because I decided it was time to see if I liked the silver..dyed it since I was thirty five..not shabby at all.
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Kris left out the part about it being a local community theater production of Caberet.
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Bitch, *I* make a killer guacamole!
The true test of someone’s depth is when their “little facts” could be anyone’s — do you know anyone who likes when people are late, or likes mean spirited people? I’m surprised she didn’t add that she loves to laugh and hates crying.
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Also, not to go all manic street preacher on anyone, but peace at church? I doubt it.
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My thoughts exactly. Bitch needs to come up with some better lies.
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