Russell Brand hosts MTV Movie Awards, wants to marry Fassy: how’d he do?

Russell Brand

As Kaiser mentioned yesterday in her open post for the MTV Movie Awards, Russell Brand has become quite notorious for his controversial utterances while hosting MTV gigs. In 2008, he hosted the VMAs and offended lots of people when he claimed to have earned the purity ring off one of the Jonas Brothers, and he later claimed to have received death threats after his hosting duties. Naturally, MTV invited him back for the 2009 VMAs, but Russell’s antics were largely eclipsed by Kanye West’s stage intrusion that year — although it’s worth mentioning that Russell wooed future wife Katy Perry from the stage during the show as well, and the two were spotted making out afterwards too. During the 2011 VMAs, we received a good first indication of the pair’s crumbling marriage and now, of course, they are in the midst of divorce proceedings. For this ceremony and Russell’s hosting duties for the MTV Movie Awards, Katy was nowhere to be seen on the premises.

Last night, Russell’s monologue was certainly of his usual acerbic variety but nowhere near as controversial (at least I don’t think so) as his general fare. He joked about Justin Bieber beating up a pap and added that Biebs was “so pretty” that “even if he was attacking me, I think I would do a little orgasm” (the camera then cut to a laughing Jennifer Aniston). Russell thanked Kim Kardashian for taking pressure off him for having the shortest celebrity marriage and then called out Michael Fassbender and “his massive c*ck,” which he also described as an “acting pipe of wonder.” Russell also took a shot at John Travolta’s Masseuse Gate, which was not a particularly amusing part of the monologue but did serve a later purpose. Finally, Rusty wrapped up his speech with an expected (and relatively tasteful) remark about his collapsed marriage: “The last MTV awards show I hosted I ended up marrying someone who was there, so I will be keeping my eyes peeled tonight for my next wife.” This was followed up with a quick “Fassbender! It has to be [you]. I’m going to go get some massage oil off Travolta. Michael, meet me in my dressing room.” Aww, isn’t that sweet? Russell has a crush on Fassy too. Now Kaiser is totally gonna pull the slut dagger on Rusty.

Here’s a video clip of Russell’s monologue:

There were a few cute moments during the show that are worth mentioning, including a cute sketch with Joel McHale pretending to be JLaw’s archery teacher, the moment when Charlize Theron pretended to beat up Fassy, and a great time had by Elizabeth Banks while she enjoyed the pleasure of being onstage with the Magic Mike boys. Lucky bitch.

Here’s the full list of winners:

Best Onscreen Dirtbag: Jennifer Aniston (Horrible Bosses)
Best Breakthrough Performance: Shailene Woodley (The Descendants)
Best Male Performance: Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games)
Best Female Performance: Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games)
Generation Award: Johnny Depp
Best Kiss: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (The Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn: Part One)
Best Song: “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO (21 Jump Street)
Best Fight: Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson vs. Alexander Ludwig (The Hunger Games)
Best Cast: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part Two
Best Transformation: Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games)
Trailblazer Award: Emma Stone
Best Movie: The Twilight Saga – Breaking Dawn: Part I

Russell Brand

Photos courtesy of MTV

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31 Responses to “Russell Brand hosts MTV Movie Awards, wants to marry Fassy: how’d he do?”

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  1. DailyNightly says:

    I love Russell. Always good for a laugh.

  2. cupidtyrox says:

    Russell Brand is NOT funny. He is tactless & digusting. Those jokes about JT were unnecessary. The man has a family for gosdsakes!

  3. Izzy says:

    My highlight was RB comparing Kim Kardashian to “the Stanley Kubrick of sex tapes… she only makes one a decade.” Props to the Brit with the grit!

  4. Katie says:

    Please tell me in what world was twilight the best movie last year? Even for brain dead teenagers!

  5. moopsie says:

    I love this guys’ stand-ups more than his movies or host gigs. But I love how a lot of people get so offended by him and MTV keeps asking him to do these host gigs. He’s doing something right.

  6. Ms. Candy says:

    I love me some Russell Bran—
    I don’t understand why certain movies didn’t make it into the MTV Movies but oh well

  7. merski says:

    Oh boy, I didn’t laugh one single time. That’s shocking to me ’cause I really like Russell. It was really blah.

  8. Nanea says:

    Awww, Rusty!

    Fassy seems to be a much better choice for a partner than KP could ever hope to be.

    Charlize and Fassy were hilarious.

    Are those Twidiotic movies done yet?

  9. Miffy says:

    It was really nice of Courtney Stodden to loan Rusty her arm bands for the evening. They truly pull any ensemble together.

    Also, just how much arse kissing goes on in the states that they find RB so offensive? If you’re life is in the public eye you’re open to ridicule. Is it news to Kim Kardashian that her joke of a marriage was obscenely short? It’s kinda standard English comic practice to be irreverant and I think the hyper pampered American ‘glitz and glam’ elite need more of it. Cue Ricky Gervais!

  10. саша says:

    there’s something wrong with people if they think that twilight is the best movie.

  11. Tia says:

    Funny he is not, what he is.. is hot

  12. katie says:

    i like R.B but his joke delivery needs a little tweaking. like he rushes out the punch line, and is on to the next thing within the same breath.

  13. Bette says:

    There was an interview with Russell on MTV’s site a few days ago where he talked about how he once met Charlize Theron and messed it up because he didn’t recognize her at first. A lot of news outlets picked it up but understandably, you didn’t cover it here because there was no real story… just a funny anecdote and comments about how he thinks she’s “amazing” and wants another chance.

    Well, I was watching the “backstage cam” on MTV’s site last night for a bit, and who did I see chatting up Charlize in the corner? None other than Rusty! I don’t know what was being said but it looked like it was going well. So if he does end up finding another wife out of hosting the awards, I think it’ll be Charlize (sorry Fassbender). You read it here first! ;)

  14. LittleDeadGirl says:

    Joel McHale was the funniest part of the show. Brand was neither funny nor really controversial. His cut away with Sheen was semi amusing but I was mostly bored. I wanted him to be rougher on the audiance but it was sort of blah all in all.

  15. Jover says:

    No he’s not funny and MTV is about as corporate as it gets – what universe does he and his audience live in – you’re not cool, hip and edgy if you’re schlocking it on another useless award show – he would be more controversial if he trashed MTV for not playing vids anymore and for pummeling us with pointless “reality” shows.

  16. ToastedSkin says:

    I love the part where after Kristen accepted the best kiss award he said something about how he mainly knows them as Kstew and RPrattz and that he was really glad they were f*cking in real life.
    And the part about FASSY!