Things to be thankful for

Be thankful that:

You are not Linda Hogan’s boyfriend

Madonna isn’t dating a player from your favorite sports team (skip this one if you are a Yankee fan)

Lindsay Lohan is just being herself

Sarah Palin made conservatism sexy (and yes, we are aware of Ann Coulter)

You are not Bobby Brown’s life coach

Dita Von Teese posed for German Playboy

Unlike all your stocks, your set of Barak Obama commemorative coins are guaranteed to increase in value (this is not a guarantee)

A new season of “Big Love” is coming in January

Someone else is engaged to Kelly Osbourne

You have not been asked to pair with Shaquille O’Neal for nest season’s “Dancing with the Stars”

Sarah Palin made killing turkeys sexy

Your mom’s sex tape is less popular than Pamela Anderson’s

David Beckham has doubled the enthusiasm for soccer in the US, regularly drawing dozens of people to see him play

Your mom didn’t get you “Guitar Hero- Jamming with Air Supply” for Christmas


Be thankful that Emo is almost over

Be thankful that the law of averages says that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will soon adopt you

Be thankful that Paris Hilton is staying classy

We are extra thankful that:

Tom Cruise used his magic theta powers to defeat that crazy guy from Oregon who attacked the scientology center.

Amy Winehouse has finally turned her life around

Grey’s Anatomy finally brought a realistic portrayal of doctors’ lives to Television

George Clinton is saving his DNA to be cloned

Someone killed that squirrel that was eating John Travolta’s head

And lets all be thankful for the people we spend the holidays with, the people we wish we could spend the holidays with, and the people we really are glad we don’t have to spend the holidays with.

Header photo credit: lama-photography on Photocase.

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16 Responses to “Things to be thankful for”

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  1. Chris says:

    I can not wait for the new season of Big Love to start, finally, Amen

  2. Kristin says:

    And a new and final season of The L Word in January as well!

  3. Cletus says:

    Holy shit, I AM thnkful that George Clinton has put up some DNA for us! I don’t really want to live in a world where there is no George Clinton. No, I am not kidding. Parliament is the Shit. Now we need some Bootsie Collins DNA because they should really be a matched set. ATOMIC DOOOOOOOOOG!

  4. SeVen says:

    I’m thankful for Benji madden being single although ive kinda lost respect for him.. I used to love him to death :( I’m thankful I’m normal and semi mentally stable..

    *nomnoms turkey*

  5. Cletus says:


    Sorry. Turkey overdose. I’m also seeing… things…

  6. Kaiser says:

    “Lost” comes back in Jan. too! Woohoo!

    I am thankful for Clive Owen, Gerard Butler and Sean Bean. Bow your heads, ladies!

  7. Jenna says:

    I’m thankful for the series “Supernatural”.

    I am extra thankful for Jensen Ackles. Oh that man :twisted:

  8. laurie says:

    I am thankful that I am not Kim Zolciak’s wig!

    AND Grey’s Anatomy is a completely BS version of doctors’ lives, my husband is a resident in general surgery.

  9. Larissa says:

    hands down, I second Kaiser!!!!!

    btw: whats the big deal with Dita von Teese? She posed for playboy twice before, and to see her naked, again, doesn´t do much for me! lol

  10. Mr. T says:

    I’m thankful that the election is over. I am optimistic that Obama will turn this thing around.

  11. Azurea says:

    Anyone want to join me in being thankful for Hugh Jackman?

  12. Orangejulius says:

    Yes, Mr. T. Right on. I’m very thankful we ended up with Obama.

  13. Trillion says:

    Thirding that. Oh so happy that election is over. Life is more bearable now. Thankful for the genius choice of Daniel Craig as Bond.

  14. Codzilla says:

    Amen to that, Mr. T.

    I’m also grateful that The Fringe continues to kick ass, because now that The Shield is over, I need another show to watch obsessively.

  15. JaundiceMachine says:

    I’m thankful my boyfriend and I aren’t still in Mumbai.

    And that a new season of Big Love is starting soon! Yea!