'12
These are new photos of Justin Theroux arriving at LAX, having just flown in from New York City. His lover Jennifer Aniston is still filming in North Carolina. I really, really wonder why he’s not at her side. And yes, Pity Party Patrol, I KNOW that couples don’t have to be joined at the hip forever and ever. I’m just saying – JustJen really are joined at the hip normally, and it feels like they haven’t been together in a week, which is longer than they seem to go without seeing each other usually. Take that with the fact that Justin seemed to be living his old Heidi-Bivens life in NY and hanging out with his hipster bachelor buddies like Uncle Terry Richardson… it’s weird. It’s probably nothing. But I do like to analyze every little detail.
It wasn’t until I saw Justin Theroux in motion on Ellen DeGeneres’s show that I realized what a strange body he has. Not “strange” as in “he’s a freak of nature!” – more like “strange” as in “how did I never notice how small he is in general, and how he has really short legs?” You know why I never noticed? It’s because his top half is decent – he has nice arms, a decent build above the waist, and a big head (literally!). But his bottom half is disproportional. And it’s not being helped by his insistence on wearing these weird skinny jeans and too-tight, close-cut leather pants and whatever the BIEBER HELL he’s wearing in these photos (skinny sweatpants?). I like that Justin owns his slim (disproportionate) body, but I’ve got to ask – isn’t there a way for him to wear nice, flattering pants? He’s 40 years old. He should be able to find a good pair of pants by now.
Also – that’s HIS Louis Vuitton bag. The Asian(?) man is his driver, I think, and that’s why the dude is carrying Justin’s precious LV bag. I’m also including a photo of the back of Justin’s head – WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BALD SPOT?!? Is that a hipster comb-over or did he get some plugs?
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Fashion, Justin Theroux
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I think this is one of his best looks actually. ugh, gross huh?
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I’d hit it. There is something devilish and sexy about him.
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I like the veiny look, and I think he is pretty hot too. Glad to see a few others do too!
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Yeah, he’s hot in a strange way, but he looks like he screws like a rabbit- not sensual at all. A selfish lover but good at being selfish.
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I’ll say it 100,000,00 times; That man is so damn hot!
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Tryhard faux hipster douchetool. And too orange. That is all.
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yeah hes hot.
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I’ll say it 100,000,00 times theres something wrong with you….
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Those look like sweats. And he needs to lay off the hair gel and look like he’s showered.
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ROFL ok I can’t even believe I’m admitting that I watch The Bachelorette but this post reminds me of something one of the contestants said about another contestant this past season: If you’re a dude and you have Louis Vuitton luggage, you’re an asshole.
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LOL that totally works too!
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coffee snort
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i was just watching ‘American Psycho’ and saw he was in it.
all i kept thinking was ‘twerp-alert’.
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Really? I watched American Psycho last night myself. It was very cathartic. As I type this with the iPad on my lap I’m watching Lars Von Trier’s Anti-Christ. Funnily enough Willem Dafoe was in both films.
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hey Chris…you do realize that you & i were both cuddled up at 1am watching our ol´boy Patrick Bateman slice em & dice em AT-THE-SAME-TIME, right? (great minds think alike)
what i am in a deadlocked debate with my fiance (for years!) is …..did he imagine killing everyone,
or, did he do it for real???
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That’s a good question. When he returns to that apartment the day after the massacre and finds it empty, except for the painters and real estate agent, makes me think it was all in his head. But what was the deal with people always confusing him with someone else?
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DAMN CHRIS! i hope you read this & get back:
see…my whole take on that scene was that it was a coverup! the realtor seemed very shady saying…something like ¨we don´t want trouble¨?!
i mean if you were a realtor selling classic 6s by the park, are you gonna let a lil´thing like blood & bodies f*ck with your commish? that´s how i saw it.
in the end it was saying to me, that within a certain wealth/power bracket, no one gives a sh*t about identity as long a you ´belong´. & if something ´messy´happens, just clean it up, so long as it doesn´t f*ck with the money.
i may be reaching, but…
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ha ha do hipsters do comb-overs? I bet it’s plugs.. And I’m sorry, you automatically lose points if your clothes style can be compared to Beibers..
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Yeah…what she said.
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I think when the bald spot is in the back of the head it is a “comb UP”
anyway funny how now he is trying to cover it.
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Never noticed how much his hairline recedes in front. Yikes, Mr. Hipster, you’re going bald! And yeah, it looks like a “comb up” at the back. More YIKES!
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Why do you refer to his driver as “The Asian?” Not even the Asian MAN. Just “The Asian.” It’s not like you’d refer to a black man as “The Black,” now would you?
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LMAO! @ ‘The Black’… good one.
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Jesus Christ, it was a typo, and I just fixed it.
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LMFAO…
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We shall now call you The Kaiser! lol. Even the typos are fun at CB!
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lmao @ ‘The Kaiser’! *tee-hee*
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I don’t mind if you call me The Kaiser, although “THE Kaiser” is really Karl Lagerfeld. If you want to call me The Indian, that’s fine too. I don’t get how identifying someone by their race is some kind of knee-jerk racism. “Asian” isn’t an offensive word (to me, at least). That being said, I just forgot a damn word and I fixed it.
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Kaiser-I prefer Holy F*cking Balls, but you use whatever epithet you feel is appropriate for the situation.
Most of us will try to refrain from critizing you.
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I have my hands clasped together in the hope that the word “man” was left out, although why point out this man’s ethnicity race at all unless it is to highlight Justin’s douchieness in having someone else (who is a person of color thus carries the implications of colonization, racial subservience, etc) carry his bag for him. I am reaching too much here?
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Reaching…no. Too sensitive…more likely.
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@chatchat, I wouldn’t say too sensitive but overreaching in applying an interpretation to Kaiser’s remarks that she likely didn’t intend.
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Do you prefer “bald guy with pink tie”?
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At least the bald guy looks like someone’s self respecting dad. This one looks like a wannabe hipster douche. He deserves The Aniston.
Maybe they can double date with ScarJo and Nate Naylor!
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You’re Indian, Kaiser? This is news to me. But at least you get to fix your typos. The rest of us get stuck with them. Which sucks for me because I’m often typing at a million miles an hour while I’m high on caffeine.
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God you’re right! Spaghetti legs! Although the worst thing is the hair – for the love of God, Justin, get some tones in there! Then it won’t look quite so Just for Men.
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Well, there is NO PLAY for Mr Gray!
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Oh my god I love and want to marry this comment.
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Must be nice to have only one other bag and have someone else carrying it so your hand is free.
Justin must really love his life upgrade.
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Maybe he’s got business to take care of. Neither of them has had to go off on location until now. She’s going to be in North Carolina for 2-3 months, and it only started last saturday.
And think he looks fine. I’ll take this over some of the super skinny jeans.
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Bet he stopped in the loo to do some push ups to get his veins to stand up before stepping outside to see the paps???
Douchetastic outfit. I hate gold on a man. He had something done to his hairline, good call. It’s brushed up and looks like it’s thicker…or he used that spray paint. He’s dangerously close to Nic Cage fantasy hairlines.
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OMG!!
“Fantasy hairlines” LOL! I love that!
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This look is Pete Wentz + 20 years.
Not hot.
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Well, I think he looks kinda hot.
*sings* C’mon baybee light mah fiya
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He is certainly not my type, to short, but he has a gorgeous upper body! Those arms!!
And since none of us are doing the dirty with him, or taking him home to meet the parents and family, what does it matter?
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I say hair plugs, hipster dude’s are to cool for comb overs. Lol
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I think he looks fine. He has a style which suits him and to which he sticks. I’m sure if he were at all concerned about the proportion of his legs to his upper body, he’d dress differently. That he doesn’t indicates that he dresses to please himself, couldn’t give a toss about either the length of his legs or what anyone else thinks, and that’s always a big plus in anyone.
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+ 1
Plus Brad can wear a onesie and not get flack on CB.
( and no I am not a Jen Hen or a Brangaloonie. Just getting tired of the obvious bias on CB.)
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Haha! I don’t think Brad has much in the way of natural style. He can look reasonably ok in a tux on a red carpet but he mostly looks like he gets dressed in the dark, and from a laundry basket.
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@lala
Brad get flack for everything he wears; from hats to long hair, dark hair or light; to chin hair or goatee;
to shoes to whatever and even his mustache. Which for most of the time his various changes in looks have been for movie roles. . So I don’t know what the bias is.
It would have been nice to not even Bring Brad up.. but you did that. Not anyone else before your comment.
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You can’t be serious.
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So one site out of thousands isn’t anti-Brangelina and thats a problem?
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I think Justin is more Angelina’s type, skinny like the Norton guy. Maybe she should have a fling w him just for sh#ts and giggles.
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Thanks for the chuckle! I wish that would happen.
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Ditto. I’m all about the fun too!
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I don’t know … has Angie ever dated a man who looked/seemed more feminine than her?
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He has always looked really small to me in photos next to Jennifer Aniston. I mean his legs and hips are smaller than hers, and he’s not that much taller than her, either. I wonder if he is smaller than Tom Cruise.
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The Fred Perry shirt, the “braces”, the gold jewelry, the skinny leg pants – this guy is a walking cliche. If I saw him on the street all I would think is “short guy with a fake tan and jewelry wearing fashion victim clothing”.
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haha. so true.
this is what i imagine Justin Bieber to dress like when he grows up, too.
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How anyone thinks he is ‘hot’ is beyond me. Way too try hard and its so obvious too.
He is just so ‘done’.
I bet he takes 3 x longer than Jen in the morning to get dressed and I also bet he is super anal about every hair in place etc etc. And you know those two fight over the hair products.
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lmao “whatever the bieber hell” just choked on my coffee. And skinny sweatpants!! I can’t even.
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Better than the onsie stupitt likes to wear along with the highlights in his hair since the hair plugs grew in. Pitt is such a girly man with his highlights.
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You bitches love to criticize him for his bald spot, skinny jeans, etc. But this guy is bangin’, just admit it. Look at those guns.
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Right there with ya. I think he’s hot as hell. (And I can’t believe we’re to the point in celeb gossip where we hate Aniston so much that we’re bodysnarking the guys she dates. This is really reaching. An entire post about his short legs? What do you expect the guy to do – have them stretched? Quick, let’s make a post about how Vince Vaughn is chubby!)
Justin, you can wrap your legs around me anytime. Swoon! He’s hottt. The arms are f*ckin’ killing me!
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Damn, and I thought it was just me who wondered about the post…leveling guys down to body parts they have no control over is just plain…whatever.
Dude’s not my type! I’ve dated guys from 6’1 to 6’4 and have liked ‘em big and rugged even though my husband of 20 years has a similar body type as Justin’s (long torso, short legs). Just wanted to point out how weird this post was to me too t’is all.
Guess I just got used (and spoiled) to the posts were hot actors were swooned upon.
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OK so when women are leveled down to body parts they have no control over I will be looking for you all to come to their defense with the same passion.
but I won’t be holding my breath on that one.
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Yeah and I just love how you assume we ALL do!
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Call me crazy but I think he looks good. Especially sans Jen.
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Douche-nozzle. What prey tell is in the LV bag? Probably a can of spray hair in extra jet black, two tubes of self tanner by Lancôme, extra suspenders in red for whe he’s feeling bold, a $200 comb made of ox bone, Keihls lip balm in natural tint, a fake press on gold tooth cap for when he’s feeling gangsta, and a motivational book (cause he’s too cool to use a kindle) by Tony Robbins. Oh and a big long roll of condoms and gum. Y’know, if I had to guess.
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OMG hahaha I could barely get through that shopping list hahaha!
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Probably the toiletries he bought the other day. That bag is so heavy that the driver HAS to carry it?
Fugly figure and teenager style.
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Ut-oh! Condoms? Unless he’s cheating on Jenny-poo, what’s he need with condoms?
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I don’t care. I find him dirty hot in a filthy way. I’d do him, and cry. Then I’d do him again. Howdyagirls call it, a shame-fkc?
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Someone posted one of those ecards on fb the other day which said: Those skinny jeans make you look so manly, said NO ONE EVER!
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He’s not perfect but who is? I think he is hot & exudes confidence. I’m thinkin I would totally hit it & hit it hard.
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Yup! X infinity!
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His arms look as long as his legs but he is quite handsome. He should skip the skinny jeans he is not a teenager and they are unflattering.
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He is so my type! And don’t mock the long torso short leg look. I myself have a really long upper body and short arms and legs and have felt self conscious about it my whole life. And no, there is no practical way to hide it with today’s clothing. And for you to continually point it out like he has a defect only makes my own lifetime insecurity more valid!
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He’s got frog legs and they’re probably covered with tats.
Dude probably doesn’t even own a pair of shorts.
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skinny jeans? check. strategically placed hair product to cover bald spot? check. spray tan? check. rubber bracelets? check.
all he needs is an ed hardy t-shirt and his transformation into a hipster doofus will be complete.
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His skinny pants are fine. His scarily smooth face is not.
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What kind of guy packs around a leather jacket with pink stains on it in the middle of summer? I live in Canada and it’s 100 f. (40 c) up here in the afternoon for gosh sakes. Is he like the guy in Peanuts that needs his blanket all the time? Like his shirt though.
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I think Justin prefers to keep it with him in case he needs it.
He can keep several pairs of skinny jeans and tees in both NYC and LA but the leather jacket is one-of-a-kind and is his signature piece of clothing.
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He has a signature piece of clothing? And it’s a leather jacket?
Is this some hipster thing? It’s a cliché and therefore it’s ironic and therefore supposedly cool?
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He looks fine. Bully those that deserve it.
Jen is working. Why would he have to be there? They have a newer relationship, so naturally they will like spending a lot of time together when they can.
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All I think about seeing Justin is that he has been Terry’s house and he’s sampled some of Terry’s Tea. Gross.
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Is his hair getting darker? Styling product or dye?
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His short legs dont bother me that much.
If he just unbuttoned A SINGLE button on that nerdy-looking t-shirt, threw out the hideous gold ring and wore a DECENT pair of grown-man pants, I SWEAR he’d be MEGA-HOT!
THATS what Jennifer should be focusing on, NOT tweezing his eyebrows and buying him self-tanners and moisturizers!
PS: owning an LV travel bag and making another person carry it, no less, TOTALLY ruins his street-cred and masculinity.
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I think he is hot, intelligent, wears shitty clothes but he is a biker hence the tight leg pants. And he bathes. He does need to gain weight. I would hit it twice. Plus he is a Leo. Intense as hell and eat you up in bed.
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As a Leo and an artist, he must be egocentric, and probable more about the performance than the other partner. Also, Leos take pride in their looks and hair… he looks totally a Leo, good mathc for Aniston’s aquarius. But really, he is not all that good looking to me, but try hard and oddly proportionated. Here he is not on a bike,he even has a driver, no need to wear those ugly pants that emphasize those tiny legs.
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He is Squiggy.
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He creeps me out. Don’t know why, just creep.
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Those skinny jeans are not flattering at all. It accentuates his short legs. I think boot cut jeans would make us focus on his positive attributes like his face and upper body. As far as sexy, yeah, I see it in his looks but not in his personality when he talks.
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He is NOT good looking.
Hipster dudes never are….especially not hipster dudes in their 30s and 40s….grow up and stop dressing like a 25 year old.
I’m not an ageist, I just think it’s pathetic when old(-er) men dress like kids.
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As usual, too try-hardy. The conservative, trendy golf shirt doesn’t really work with the bad boy hipster pants and boots.
He seems to live in those motorcycle boots… makes me wonder if he has lifts in there, a la Tommygirl?
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Hmmm. That IS his LV bag. So maybe he is selfish with an umbrella, after all. But I like the polo shirt on him WITH the pants and the boots (the pants and boots being what he always wears, cough). However, the hair. Looks to be a wiglet from the back because you can’t see the rest of his “back part”. Plus it’s way too inky black and solid looking unless he is using some of that spray on hair to augment his existing hair?
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Oh dang, you’re right, polo shirt – not golf shirt doh!
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Are you all mad? He’s HIDEOUS LOOKING!
He’s so damn groomed. Ugh. The tweezed eyebrows, the Grecian 2000 hair dye, the fake tan, the hair product, THAT DAMN POLO BUTTONED UP!
Men have to have a bit of scruff about them. I bet Justin waxes his man parts. He looks so fucken manscaped it makes me want to weep.
Now, Joaquin Phoenix on the other hand…; )
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Please don’t cry precious… I am sure he wouldn’t give you a second glance!
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Does he have a normal sister? He just needs someone not in Hollywood to dress him. The buttoned up look for the shirt needs some dockers/slacks…not hipster skinny gay jeans that make you look proportionately like a monkey… weird. No commando boots please…how about something normal for summer? How about some manly looking flip flops? He looks stressed out like he is losing weight and probably hair. Jen would have him plucked and feathered fake tan and tweezed looking like a wax statue. I feel sorry for people in Hollywood…they lose their dressing compass and get stuck in time warps.
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i think the way he dresses is ridiculous, especially considering that it’s summer. it’s way too young, hipster try hard. and isn’t he hot wearing those dark and tight fitting clothes?
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By the look of his triceps and the veins popping out of his arms he obviously hits the weights quite hard. He has a very similar hairline to mine, so I best keep an eye on his stylings to see if he comes up with something I go can go with. Although I’m not real big on over doing the hair product.
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The only thing that this guy hits…hard is the roids.
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You still have to train even on the roids. As an aside roids shrink your testies not your penis. I found that out today. So I thought I’d share it.
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Who the h*ll buttons up polo shirts?!
And BAGGY skinny jeans?
Skinny jeans are horrible enough, but BAGGY ONES?
eeyyuchk!
(And what self-respecting dude had a hired hand carry his duffle bag for him?)
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Living in the Aniston aquarium has Justin looking a bit uptight. relax dude they are just paps taking your pix because you are ultra famous now don’t ya know.
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10-1, the paps were probably called!
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I think his pants look okay, even if his legs are not that long…but I’m getting tired of seeing him sporting the distressed military boots. This appears to be his favorite hipster look, so he’s sticking with it, at least for now. Even if it’s boring to us, it has not reached boredom level for him LOL.
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Kaiser, did you saw him in Charlies Angels? He is very small and has a weird body. Im not into his cloth eather but i think he can wear whatever he wants to. hes a wannabe hipster, its just aniston who doesnt fit in this lifestyle, well maybe her money fit
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Honestly, we give him too much attention.
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Yes, Nikita, we do. Entirely. LOL On that note, it just hit me what Justin’s hairstyle/hairline reminds me of: a military envelope or garrison cap.
Dude’s hair looks like a hat!
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