Casper Smart told Jennifer Lopez her thighs were too big for short skirts

Jennifer Lopez

Would it surprise you to learn that Jennifer Lopez has been dating Casper Smart for over two years? They started doing it (publicly at least) in late 2011, and JLo wanted everyone to know about it. He was 24 at the time, and she was 42. Fast forward, and they are still going strong … and not married. I thought for sure that Jennifer was going marry Casper after she allowed him to hold his own autograph sessions outside of her Idol dressing room.

These two crazy kids have had their share of ups and downs over the years. I enjoy hearing the stories about JLo slashing Casper’s allowance or threatening to kick him out without anything. Who knows if the stories are true, but they sure are entertaining in a Dynasty sort of way. If this new story from the Enquirer is true, then Casper probably lost his allowance again and deservedly so. No one tells mama her thighs are too big! Damn, did he really say this stuff?

Not-so-smart Casper Smart suddenly wished he’d kept his big yap shut when he went where no guy should EVER go (no words like “fat” or “old,” right, fellas?) and told live-in-love Jennifer Lopez that her thighs are “too big” for the short minidresses she sports on American Idol. …YeeeOWWW!…

Spotting smoke blasting from her ears, ex-backup dancer/toyboy Casper back-pedaled pronto, saying that he didn’t mean that she’s got … er, fat thighs — it’s just that her thighs aren’t … her best asset, maybe? … YeeIKES! … (Dude, even for a guy, so stoopid!) Jennifer erupted instantly, shrieking: “If you’re not saying my thighs are fat — then what are you saying?

Desperate to save himself, Casper stammered: “I just meant your thighs are … muscular!” En fuego, the superstar songstress shot back: “I thought you liked my thighs! But if you don’t like what you see …!” Before she could utter another word, crushed Casper started babbling apologies/sweet-talk nonstop — and the very next night, JLo strutted onto the Idol stage flaunting a teeny-tiny micro-dress as Casper shot her a loving thumbs-up! (Finally getting SMART, eh, senor?)

[From Enquirer, print edition, April 4, 2014]

I hope JLo assigned some extra chores around the house to make up for Casper’s insensitive mouth. Extra chores are good for a young boy. They put hair on the chest.

In all seriousness, I hope Casper didn’t say this stuff. Jennifer has fantastic legs, and they’re the same that they’ve always been. Muscular legs, yes. She’s always flaunted her body. She’s not about to stop wearing short skirts. Casper sounds like an idiot who needs to shut his trap.

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

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42 Responses to “Casper Smart told Jennifer Lopez her thighs were too big for short skirts”

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  1. Rhea says:

    Bwaahahahahahhahah. It’s probably BS—because only a stupid toy boy would risk the wrath of their source of gold by saying this. He’s not that stupid. Or maybe he is. Lol. 😀

  2. Alexis says:

    She’s still with him? O_o

  3. Suze says:

    Look around you. Do you like living here?

    Look at your clothes. Do you like wearing them?

    Look at your schedule. Do you like all the lovely places you’re going?

    You do?

    Then SHUT UP. And dance.

  4. Seriously, his fugly ass should be grateful that she even allows him to be seen in public with her.

    But then again—how bad is it when Madonna looks WAY worse than JLo (not even talking about age), looks like all gristle and no fat–but all of her pieces are WAY hotter than Caspar AND they know not to get above themselves. It’s a sad day when Madonna has better game than JLo–who, to be fair, exhibited no taste when she hooked up with Skeletor–unless he had more $$$$$$$ than her, and a giant, Liam Neeson size dong.

    • doofus says:

      “Seriously, his fugly ass should be grateful that she even allows him to be seen in public with her.”

      LMAO, and just what I was thinking…her thighs are too fat for miniskirts? well, his face is too ugly for being shown in public. he is SOOOOOOO unattractive.

  5. crab says:

    In those pictures, what is bulging from her shins?

  6. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Maybe he should know that everyone can tell he’s stuffing a sock down the front of his too tight pants. So do we want to talk about what’s too big or too little?

  7. AlexandraJane says:

    ‘Your face is too douchey for my tour’ would be the correct response

  8. lucy2 says:

    Not buying it – he doesn’t look like a genius, but I would think he’s smart enough not to mess with his meal ticket.
    In general if she’s taking fashion advice, can we request no more sparkly onesies with Muppet sleeves?

  9. Kiddo says:

    This revealed their true relationship. He is her confidante and adviser on wardrobe. That actually makes more sense.

  10. Kelly says:

    Well at least he’s honest, hahaha. But the story’s probably bs.

  11. MsAubra says:

    LIES!!!

    He knows he isn’t trying to go back on that backup dancer’s compensation

  12. eliza says:

    He looks like a creepy cartoon frog.

    Her thighs are fine. I just want to know what is up with her knees in those dance photos. They look odd.

  13. pnichols says:

    Wow is he reeeally short?? I never realized until that last picture. He’s tiny. Yikes.

  14. cerebralmind says:

    This story is pure BS. Casper isn’t stupid. He knows better. He’s not going to bite the hand that feeds him. I personally would HATE that (being a kept person or sugar baby). That would drive me crazy. I would have to have my own thing (my own $$$).

  15. rep says:

    She is beautiful, but i think she looks better when her dresses are closer to her knees.

  16. MrsBPitt says:

    Jlo is a vampire…I swear she barely ages…and she doesn’t look like shes had any plastic surgery! Regarding Casper telling her that her thighs are too big…I don’t believe it for a minute…she would have put him in the hospital!!!!!

  17. Zigggy says:

    Oh no he di’int!!!!

  18. People irk me... says:

    I thought they broke up?!?!

  19. TheOneandOnlyOnly says:

    I’m sorry I wouldn’t waste my time or money watching her lip synch beside her immature boy toy. I’m no fan of that type of music; it’s contrived mainstream generic dance crap. And my God, she looks like she’s accompanying her toddler to his conference with his junior high school teacher.
    How much actual live music is played at any of her concerts?

  20. QQ says:

    Her thighs might be too big, but he is still too poor, facially challenged, corny and unremarkable to be with her

  21. Tiffany :) says:

    I can’t stop giggling at the photo of them with their arms in the air. They BOTH have their tongues hanging out of their mouths! Was that part of the choreography? Lol, not a cute look!

  22. sauvage says:

    “Extra chores are good for a young boy. They put hair on the chest. ”

    Brilliant, Bedhead. Brilliant.

  23. pru says:

    His gigantic nostrils freak me out.

  24. Brasileira says:

    And his face is too ugly to go without covering.

  25. Dave Prince says:

    Hey, the dude is just telling the truth, she’s not skinny or has a model figure, she’s old and fat? Were all going to laugh when she ends up like Demi Moore, old and used up?