Ol’ Kat-face takes the cover of this week’s Life & Style, and those are maybe the funniest cover lines I’ve ever seen on a tabloid: Undateable, Losing Millions, Gained 15 Pounds and No Friends. OMG 15 POUNDS!!!!! Like that’s really on the list of why Kim Kardashian is totally going to have a “breakdown” y’all. As for the “undateable” thing – my mother and I were actually discussing Kim’s dating prospects (for real, this was an actual conversation I had with my mom). My mom thinks that Kim is a “catch” for a certain kind of rich, powerful man (“in LA,” my mother hedged), while I think that no dude who has any self-respect would get involved with the Kardashian Katastrophe at this point.

But it doesn’t really matter. This Life & Style piece is just some fluff to make us feel sorry for poor Kat-face. Bruce Jenner even gets into the act by describing the DIRE circumstances Kim finds herself in currently – “It’s tough for a woman at 30 — not married, no kids.” STFU, Facelift. Being a single, childfree, 30-year-old woman is not “tough.” God, I can’t believe I’m defending her.

On the season finale of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, viewers watched Kim Kardashian melt down on camera, admitting she felt “dead inside” as she let her husband, Kris Humphries, know she was giving up on their marriage.

That meltdown was taped months ago but the situation has only gotten worse. Since filing for divorce on Oct. 31, Kim has struggled to deal with the public backlash — being criticized and under constant attack for her every move — and now insiders tell Life & Style she is on the brink of a breakdown.

“She stays home all the time. It’s like she’s afraid to be in public,” an insider tells Life & Style.

But on Jan. 22, Kim stepped out for the night to see pals Loren Ridinger and Jonathan Cheban and confessed she feels lonelier than ever. “I am so alone,” an eyewitness overheard Kim lamenting to Loren and Jonathan over dinner at Cipriani Downtown in NYC. “I didn’t expect all of this. It’s devastating.”

In addition to the backlash from fans and viewers, she’s taking a hit from lost business deals: Mattel issued a statement that a Kardashian Barbie line would not be manufactured at this time and Shoe Dazzle, the online styling service she co-founded, announced it was closing its U.K. site. She could be losing millions — and her ex Kris continues to lash out, alleging to pals that Kim even planned his proposal.

Even stepfather Bruce admits it’s been a rough time for the two-time divorcee. “It’s tough for a woman at 30 — not married, no kids,” Bruce confides to Life & Style. “Kim’s an idealist.”

[From Life & Style]

It really is no wonder that Kim is trying to reach out to Jesus, right? Poor Kat-face is just so distraught, it’s all she can do to famewhore her faith in the hopes of burying herself in virginal Tebow dong. Whatever she does next, she’s nothing if she doesn’t lose those 15 pounds, right? Because that’s the big “OMG!” cover line.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

This news came out over the weekend but I’m just seeing it now and it’s too good to pass up. Radar Online got ahold of the documents from Kris Jenner’s 1991 divorce from the late legal powerhouse Robert Kardashian. We’ve already heard that Kris cheated on Robert during their marriage. Kris freely admitted to an affair in her memoir and that’s how Khloe was rumored to be conceived. Well according to the divorce papers, Kris unsurprisingly cheated on Robert with her latest husband, diva Bruce Jenner, as well. That’s this lady’s M.O. so it’s to be expected, as is the massive child and spousal support she felt she was entitled to. It’s a pretty interesting read and reveals exactly what matters to this family, and the lengths they’ll go to get it. Here’s more:

According to the divorce papers, which you can read exclusively here on RadarOnline.com, the couple went head-to-head over Kris’ lavish spending and Robert accused his then-wife of flaunting her new relationship with now-husband, Bruce Jenner in front of the children even letting the kids see them in bed together!

In the documents, filed in the Los Angles Superior Court, Robert revealed he was so upset when he found out about the affair, after almost 12 years of marriage, that the court feared he was a threat to his family and awarded Kris temporary custody of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and Robert Jr.

But Robert claimed the court ordered psychologist found his anger problems were “only situational.”

“This is true,” Robert said. “It was true that I was very upset when I found out the respondent was having an affair and I wanted a divorce.”

According to the documents, after discovering the affair an angry Robert cancelled Kris’ credit cards, store cards and stopped paying for her extravagant lifestyle ­ something Kris bitterly fought against as she claimed she deserved the “luxury lifestyle” she had been leading.

“The petitioner and I shared a luxury lifestyle,” Kris said in her petition for spousal and child support. “Nothing was too good for our family. Even our children’s clothing was purchased at exclusive boutiques.”

In her petition, Kris goes on to detail her tastes for fancy restaurants and boutiques, high-priced European holidays and lavish home entertainment ­ “The New Year’s Eve party alone cost between $10,000 and $12,000. Since January 1990 the petitioner has essentially cut me off from all funds.

“In order to have some cash at my disposal to meet the basic needs of myself and my children, I have taken a job offered to me by my friend who has just gone through a divorce.

“(But) I am earning less money than our paid household help,” Kris said.

Robert, at the time, claimed to be unemployed and only earning $2,000, but Kris told the court it was voluntary as he wanted more money than what had been offered to him by a law firm, so she demanded he be ordered to work to cover her and the family’s expenses ­ which monthly added up to a massive $37,189!

According to Kris’ sworn statement this included the $15,000 a month mortgage payment on the Beverly Hills home, wages for a gardener, a maid and housekeeper as well as clothing costs. According to Kris, each month she spent $800 on clothing for all four children but spent $2000 on herself.

Kris’ lawyers also demanded Robert pay for the family’s extensive debts on store cards for some of Los Angeles top stores including Neiman Marcus and Saks 5th Avenue ­ which had grown to more than $21,000.

Money problems aside, Kris accused Robert of emotionally abusing her with a then 9-year-old Kim forced to witness the aftermath. “As a result of (Robert) and my irreconcilable differences, there is a tremendous amount of discord at the family residence,” Kris claimed in her petition.

“Every time (Robert) and I speak, (Robert) emotionally abuses me to the point that I am unable to handle the simplest tasks for hours after our conversation. In every conversation (Robert) and I have, (Robert) calls me a whore, a bitch, a slut and other names I can not repeat.

“On May 3, 1990 Kimberly found me crying after a brutal conversation with (Robert) and she became so upset I had a difficult time getting her to her carpool on time. Kimberly called my office twice that afternoon crying hysterically, begging me to come home.”

Because of the alleged abuse and Robert’s erratic but “excessive doting attention” on the children, Kris demanded Robert be banned from the family home. However, Robert argued he be allowed to move back into the home to protect the children from Kris’ now husband Bruce Jenner ­ claiming Bruce and Kris’ relationship was detrimental to the children and Robert Jr. even witnessed his still-married mother in bed with Bruce!

According to Robert’s statement, while he was forced to live with relatives Kris had moved Bruce in, along with his four children ­ including reality star Brody Jenner ­ as well as his extended family.

“I believe this situation is inappropriate for several reasons,” Robert said. “Firstly my children are exposed to another man living with their mother. I believe that is inappropriate and I ask the court to enjoin and restrain (Kris) from living with any member of the opposite sex in or about the presence of our children.

“As a matter of fact, my son Robert said he slept on the couch in (Kris’) bedroom when (Kris) and her boyfriend were in bed together in the bedroom. In my option this situation is detrimental to the children,” Robert told the court.

[From Radar Online]

These are 1991 numbers remember, you can at least double them to estimate what they would be today. Poor Kris. She cheated on her husband, got caught and then complained that she could no longer afford to buy her kids designer clothing and go out to the best restaurants. The gall of these people is astounding. So if she didn’t get caught, would she have continued to cheat on the side? She probably never would have married Bruce if she didn’t need another meal ticket. She just wanted to get her rocks off during the day when she had nothing else to do, just as she explained in her memoir about the other guy. I doubt those were the only two affairs she had either.

Speaking of Bruce, he was seen out over the weekend with a large scar on his face that looked like it was the result of plastic surgery. He claimed it was from the removal of a cancerous growth. He’s had several facelifts and has admitted to plastic surgery, so maybe he’s telling the truth. Or maybe he took a stiletto in the face from Kris.

Also, check out the photo of Kris above. It’s from January 14. Compared to the photos of her below which are older, she looks like she got even more work done. So she probably went to the surgeon with Bruce.

Kris is shown at some Miss America events this month and on New Year’s eve. That lady has no business wearing that purple leopard print dress. Photos of Bruce are from May. Credit: WENN.com

Star Magazine has an upcoming interview with the late Robert Kardashian’s last wife, Ellen, 63. Ellen spills the beans on a lot of secrets she learned about the Kardashians. Kaiser has one tidbit coming up that’s a doozy, but that we’ve already suspected for some time. Ellen was friends with Bruce Jenner’s first wife Chrystie Crownover. She claims that Chrystie told her that Bruce loved to cross dress by wearing her bras and special ordering women’s heels in his size.

The Kardashian women are famous for their extravagant red carpet outfits, expensive jewelry and global fashion collections, but it’s not just the female members of the reality TV family that love to dress up, as Star magazine can exclusively reveal.

Robert Kardashian’s former wife, Ellen, claims that Bruce Jenner, 62, has a secret fetish for wearing women’s clothing, shoes and lingerie, according to the new issue of Star.

Ellen learned of the bombshell over drinks with Bruce’s ex, Chrystie, who spilled the beans on his cross-dressing alter ego.

“’Of course Bruce was every woman’s heartthrob when he was that age, right?’” Ellen says she asked. “But Chrystie said, ‘Yeah, until I went on a trip and I came back and he had gone through all my clothes. And I found my bras… He’d clip them together and wear them.’

“I couldn’t live with that,” she confessed.

Chrystie went on to divorce Bruce, but his next wife, Kris Jenner, was unfazed by her husband’s odd taste, and Ellen tells Star that he continued to cross-dress for years after their wedding.

But her daughters weren’t as accepting about finding size 13 heels in their mom’s closet!

“Khloe called her dad and she was very upset, crying and screaming about it,” revealed Ellen.

[From Radar]

In the video interview posted with Ellen on Radar, she tells a slightly different story about how she found out that Bruce was a cross dresser. She says that her husband Robert told her after Khloe called him up hysterical at finding a closet filled with wigs, size 13 shoes, and clothes that were too big for her mother.

I consider this a kink that is totally harmless if both parties are OK with it, and I would bet that Kris definitely is. People are into all sorts of weird sh*t to get off and having my man dress up in women’s clothes seems strange to me and I probably wouldn’t continue a relationship with a cross dresser, but in no way would I shame a guy about it or blab about it to anyone but my best friend. (I would have to tell her because it would be hysterical to us, but she’s good at keeping secrets.) Chrystie was married to Bruce for 8 years, from 1972-1980, and they had two children together. It sounds like he didn’t share this side of himself until after they were married, and that it was a deal breaker for her. I think it’s weird, but I also feel sorry for Bruce that this very embarrassing news is coming out now. Of all the Kardashian Klan (apart from Khloe maybe) he seems the most harmless. You know that Kris calls the shots and Bruce is just along for the ride.

With all the stories of the Kardashians fighting among themselves, is it at all surprising to hear that pimp mama Kris Jenner and her husband, hapless lizard-faced Bruce, are on the rocks? It just sounds like the same old for this family. The National Enquirer has this news, and I would bet they have a solid source for it. They claim that Kris and Bruce are fighting over Kim’s divorce and over money, and that Kris has even put Bruce on an allowance! That’s ripe.

The Enquirer has learned that the 20 year union of [Kris and Bruce Jenner] – is on the rocks and both of them are ready to throw in the towel.

They’ve been battling over everything from money to how to raise their offspring. Bruce is tired of Kris making work her priority instead of family, and Kris can’t stand Bruce spending time and money on his expensive hobbies like golf and motorcycle racing, say sources.

The couple is even taking sides in daughter Kim’s explosive divorce battle with her estranged husband.

Incredibly, Kris, 56, has reportedly demeaned her sports hero husband by putting him on an allowance, and an insider reveals that the glamorous family has now become “totally fractured…”

“Bruce has started standing up for himself, insists Kris cut back on her work and is spending more time away from the house to enjoy time by himself,” charged the source.

“He now wants a life away from the TV craziness. As a result, he and Kris are at a crisis point in their marriage.

“He loved being a team with her in the early days of their marriage, but there seems little hope for reviving that between his outside interests and her managing and running the Kardashian empire 24-7.

“They are at a breaking point in the relationship…

“For the first time, he’s questioning her decisions about the family and business. And he gave Kim an earful about walking away from her marriage to Kris Humphries too soon.

“And Bruce blames Kris J. for driving Humphries away. But Kris can’t stand the basketball player and fully supports Kim plowing ahead with the divorce…”

When Bruce first discovered an Internet campaign trying to get the E! network to dump “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” he had a surprising reaction.

“Bruce actually laughed when he saw the petition because he thinks the show is partly to blame for his marital problems,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 5, 2011]

There’s more in there about how it hurt Bruce’s feelings when Kris announced that she wanted to change her last name back to “Kardashian” from “Jenner.” Those of you who watch the show say that Bruce sometimes meekly disagrees with his wife and kids but that he’s shot down every time. If this is true that he wants his wife to cut back on work, and particularly if he’s hoping the show will end, it’s probably pissing Kris off to no end. She can’t deal with another high profile breakup, particularly her own, at this crucial point in her family’s media career. I would just love it if Bruce filed for divorce, but he doesn’t seem the type to rock the boat at all. If he were, he would have hightailed it out of there a long time ago. So instead he’s filling his time with golf and hobbies, and Kris is so controlling that she’s even trying to take those small pleasures away from him.

E! has some details of the premiere episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York. It’s all about how Kris H. and Kim were incompatible and seeing the writing on the wall. We know that Kris Humphries is going to be portrayed as the baddie this season, and that Kim oversaw the editing of her show to make sure that happened. Kim knew what she was getting into, and she’s a fool if she thinks that the public is going to buy her victim act. She needs a nice compliant doormat husband like her step dad.

These photos of Kris and Bruce out together are from 8/4/11. Event photo is from 1/5/11. Credit: WENN

US Weekly has a video interview with 60 year-old former Olympian and plastic surgery victim, Bruce Jenner. (Above) Jenner, who is married to Kris Kardashian and often seen on the family’s reality show, was asked to comment on the controversial bikini photo shot that his 14 year-old daughter, Kendall, released as part of her bid to be a model. He didn’t see anything wrong with it, and described it as “hot” and like “a model shoot that any 20, 25 year-old would do” adding that the controversy was over his daughter’s age at the time, but that she “wasn’t showing anything that was inappropriate”

I heard about that on the news, in fact…

She shows me the pictures [after they were released to the media]

She wants to be a model. It was a model shoot that any 20, 25 year-old would do and never say anything about it.

But because she’s 14, all of a sudden [people are asking] is it right for a 14 year-old to do this?

Now, she wasn’t showing anything that was inappropriate or too much cleavage or anything like that.

They were just hot shots, you know, for like an older person…

If that’s what she wants to do, she wants to be a model, more power to her.

I sat her down and said ‘Hey, lookit. This is a career. It could be a very good business for you, but school comes first, big guy.’

[Transcribed from US Weekly video]

Bruce looked embarrassed in the video, in my opinion, but resigned to the fact that his daughters are going to do what they want. Yes they were “hot shots“, but the “for an older person” part is what people are focusing on and what Bruce should be questioning too. Kendall is not 20 or 25, she’s not even 16 or 17. Many of you have noted that these type of bikini photoshoots are typical for model portfolios even at the young age of 14. That’s fair enough, but let’s consider the fact that this isn’t part of Kendall’s online or offline portfolio and that this family chose to release and publicize this. It’s not like Kendall wants to be a model and is shopping these photos around to agencies. Her family put them online for promotional purposes and that’s much different. It doesn’t surprise me that Bruce doesn’t have a problem with this given how lenient he’s been with his daughters.

If only I had a lot of extra cash. I’d donate it to a good cause. And by “donate,” I mean bid it all away for a chance to beat the crap out of a Kardashian. For a good cause though. So it’s okay. The entire Kardashian clan offered up their services – well, their faces – to benefit the Dream Foundation, whose mission “is to enhance the quality of life for individuals and their families who are battling life-limiting illness.” The high bidders got to box the Kardashian (or close Kardashian step-relative or baby daddy) closest to their size, and of the same gender.

Unfortunately 22-year-old baby brother Rob got the crap beaten out of him, and landed in the hospital with a concussion. That put a serious damper on the whole event. The other Kardashians who were scheduled to fight backed out after that, with the exception of Kim and her stepfather Bruce Jenner (proud father of Brody). But Kim was still livid.

Kim Kardashian’s a knockout. Literally. The reality TV star put her good looks on the line on Tuesday in a charity boxing match – and one female fan laid a blow right on Kim Kardashian’s kisser, according to the U.K.’s Daily Mail. The buxom beauty stepped into the ring dressed in head-to-toe pink Everlast gear, but she was soon bested by her opponent, who was the highest bidder in an auction benefiting The Dream Foundation at the Commerce Casino in Commerce, California.

“The event itself was absolutely insane!!” Kardashian wrote on her blog. “We literally had three days of training to prepare for the event and thought it would be a little bit of fun to raise money for one of our favorite charities. We didn’t expect what happened.” Despite gamely facing her fears in the end, the 29-year-old socialite almost canceled her match after her younger brother, Rob, was KO’ed in an earlier fight.

“When Rob stepped in the ring to fight, his opponent was at least 25 lbs heavier than him, even though the organization had assured us that they were screening the people we were fighting against,” Kardashian wrote. “At one point Rob’s mask fell off and when he put his hands down he got hit in the face and ended up in hospital with a concussion. This guy just got really down and dirty!” When her 22-year-old bro was floored in a barrage of jabs in the first round, Kim reportedly jumped into his corner and demanded the bout be stopped, claiming the larger opponent was going too hard on him.

That left Kim as the only “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” member to rumble in the ring, although family members including stepfather Bruce Jenner, mother Kris, sisters Khloe and Kourtney, and Kourtney’s boyfriend Scott Disick, cheered her on in the audience.

“We were all really angry and upset about what had happened to Rob, but I hadn’t even fought yet and I didn’t want to let the charity down, so I decided to get in the ring,” Kardashian wrote. “My girl was a good sport, but she was tough!” She added, “At the end of the day, we did this for charity and that’s what counts. “You can try to bring the Kardashians down… but we’re a strong family. A concussion and a black eye can’t hold us down!”

[From the Daily News]

Kim jumped into the corner of the ring and made them stop the fight? Talk about drama. Something tells me that this wasn’t about charity, it was probably being filmed for “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” That’s just my hunch though. I seriously doubt any of the Kardashians – especially Kim, whose livelihood depends on her good looks – would put those good looks in jeopardy for a good cause. Some press though… yeah, probably.

What the Daily News didn’t mention were the chicken Kardashians who were scheduled to fight – and people had bid for – who backed out. Supposedly because of what happened to Rob, but you know they were just itching for a reason. Rob was just the sacrificial lamb. Newlywed Khloe called off her bout – and you know she’d be a fierce opponent. How’d they ever find another female of her height to fight her? So did Kourtney’s baby daddy Scott Disick. I bet anything it was all for their show, since the main star still pulled it together.

The Daily Mail has some awesome Kardiashians-getting-punched photos if you wanna check them out. I’m sorry but when you show up to your boxing match dressed in head-to-toe pink, you deserve whatever you get.

Update: Here’s a picture of the black eye Kim received. Maybe the lighting is poor, but it doesn’t look all that bad to me. Of course I’m not the one who got socked in the eyeball either.

Here’s Kim before her bout yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.com . Header photo thanks to Kim’s Twitter.

I listened to some of yesterday’s Ryan Seacrest show as I wanted to see if Kristin Cavalleri said anything interesting other than the fact that she once shot John Mayer down. She didn’t really, and I don’t know why I bothered, but I did hear Ryan say that Khloe Kardashian’s step dad, Bruce Jenner, didn’t find out ahead of the press that Khloe was marrying her boyfriend of a whole month, Lamar Odom. Bruce heard about it at the beginning of last week through the media like everyone else. Apparently the guy is used to dealing with a house full of famewh*res and it didn’t phase him. (Ryan didn’t say this, but that’s the impression I got from the coversation.)

We also heard yesterday that Khloe’s wedding was just for show, and was arranged and paid for by her reality show network, E! She’s not legally married yet, and her lawyers and her fiance’s lawyers are trying to hash out some kind of prenuptual agreement that’s agreeable to both parties.

TMZ has audio, below, of two producers talking ahead of Khloe’s “wedding” and planning some special moments, including the “touching” moment when Khloe tells Bruce she “considers him her real dad.” Does this mean that Bruce Jenner’s wedding speech, in which he said he wished Khloe’s late dad was there, was planned out too? Did Bruce know that his daughter’s ultimate compliment was fed to her by a producer? The producers also plan how Khloe will take 10 steps back before walking down the aisle, probably to build some suspense into the faux-wedding.

What’s more is that the Kardashians reality show producer, Ryan Seacrest, has semi-confirmed that he would consider a “Newlyweds” type show featuring Khloe and Lamar. He told TMZ, [via NYDN] “the producer side of me is thinking [it] could be a good reality series. Today’s about celebration, tomorrow’s about production.” The wedding was about production too, and if these two have any sense whatsoever they won’t let their relationship be filmed for a reality show. That’s pretty much why they got pretend married in the first place, though. Maybe they’ll break up before they have a chance to make it official.

Khloe is shown below on 9/22/09. Credit: WENN.com

CB already reported the wedding details for Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s weekend nuptials, but I read a few more stories from the drama that I found interesting. First, Radar reported that for the rehearsal dinner, held in Santa Monica, Khloe’s stepfather Bruce Jenner stepped up to make a beautiful, tear-jerker speech honoring the late Robert Kardashian, who fathered Khloe, Kim, Kourtney and Robert Jr. Although I don’t think much of the Kardashian Klan as a whole, I will admit freely that this story made my eyes a little misty:

Bruce Jenner brought tears to the eyes of everyone in the room when he lifted a glass in memory of Khloe Kardashian’s late father, attorney Robert Kardashian.

Fifty friends and family members attended the early evening dinner which was taped for broadcast on the bride-to-be’s reality show. But the emotional point of the evening came when Khloe’s stepfather, Bruce Jenner, reduced the crowd to tears when he made a toast.

“With his long hair flowing, and with a glass of red wine in his hand, he made everyone cry when he said his one regret was that Khloe’s father, the late Robert Kardashian, could not be there to see this,” an eyewitness told RadarOnline.com

“Khloe, her sisters Kim and Kourtney and their mom Kris Jenner were all reduced to tears.”

Robert Kardashian was a well-known attorney and famous as part of the O.J. Simpson “Dream Team.” He and Kris divorced in 1989 and she subsequently married Olympic hero Bruce Jenner.

[From Radar]

Aw. I know it’s easy for us to just dismiss all of the Kardashian stuff as just famewhoring spectacle, but I’d bet the Kardashian women were genuinely moved by Bruce’s speech – what a nice way for Bruce to honor Robert, and Bruce’s step-kids. At the wedding, Bruce Jenner gave Khloe away too- and I’m sure that meant so much to both of them. Sweet story.

Now, back to the famewhoring. Page Six had an interesting little report over the weekend about Kris Kardashian’s business sense. Kris manages all three of her older daughters, and she’s the reason we see interview after interview with these people. Blame Kris and her “brilliant” business sense:

The Kardashian sisters have earned $1 million in just a few months with news of a romantic breakup, a pregnancy and a wedding. The rest of the show business world is having trouble keeping up with the Kardashians’ astonishing earning power, thanks to their prolific and eventful love lives.

Kim, Kourtney and Khloe’s antics — and their curvaceous figures — have landed them big-money magazine covers, TV and media deals, as well as sponsorship from diet aid SlimQuick.

Kim split with her boyfriend of two years, Reggie Bush, in July. Kourtney announced she’s pregnant with on-off boyfriend Scott Disick’s baby in August. And last week, Khloe announced she’ll marry LA Lakers forward Lamar Odom after a whirlwind romance of just a month.

Even their little half-sister, Kendall Jenner, 13, is getting into the act — she landed a contract with Wilhelmina Models in July and is now negotiating an advertising deal.

A source said: “The Kardashian sisters are big business. Their mother, Kris, is a smart businesswoman and manages their deals. She knows how to make the most of these big announcements. She’s negotiating a magazine deal for Khloe’s wedding, around $250,000, another deal for Kourtney’s baby, and there will probably be yet another deal when Kim eventually gets back together with Reggie.”

“Then there’s the product deals — they’ve already got the fashion line, now they’re branching out into perfume and beauty products.”

The sisters already star in E!’s “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and “Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami,” and the exposure has also upped sales for their clothing line, Dash.

[From Page Six]

The moral of the story is that none of this will ever end. As long as we have any kind of interest, whether it be mild or spiteful, the Kardashians will profit. Sigh.

In case anyone wants to know anything else about Khloe’s wedding, here goes: she wore a stapless Vera Wang gown, and her sisters were her bridesmaids. The bridesmaids wore a pretty shade of violet. You can see video of their entrances at Radar, as well as any additional information on the wedding party.

Photos are of Khloe and Lamar’s wedding guests. Kourtney and Kim are shown at the rehearsal dinner Saturday night. Credit: WENN.com

Kim Kardashian’s stepfather Bruce Jenner had some major facial cosmetic surgery this past April. Bruce, who won the decathlon in the 1976 Summer Olympics, got a legendarily awful facelift and nose job 25 years ago. For some reason he’s never corrected it, even though Kim told People magazine that he’s been cruelly teased about it for years. He finally decided to get it corrected – and it’s conveniently been timed to coincide with the season finale of “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”

Bruce Jenner, who turns 60 in October, has given himself an early birthday present: a new face.

“He corrected work that was done 25 years ago that he wasn’t happy with,” his stepdaughter Kim Kardashian tells Life & Style. And while Bruce’s new face won’t be revealed on-air until the May 17 episode of E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Life & Style can give readers an exclusive sneak peek with the photo above — which was shot in April after the 1976 Olympic decathlon gold medalist (pictured with wife Kris) finally corrected the partial face-lift and nose job that went wrong more than two decades ago.

“We love the results!” raves Kim. “He looks 10 years younger. You can hardly tell he had anything done.”

[From Life & Style]

I do sort of think you can still tell Bruce has had something done. He definitely looks better and more natural looking. Less tightly pulled. Before, looking at his face reminded me of the time my fourth grade best friend French braided my hair so tightly I had tears running down my face. Whenever I looked at Bruce I couldn’t help but feel badly, because he almost looked perpetually uncomfortable. The nose job, though, was by far the worst part in my opinion. His nose was so small I can’t imagine he could breathe well. If Bruce has allergies, forget about it. All in all, it’s a good improvement. And I really hope that first surgeon is out of business.

Header photo of Bruce after and before surgery. Photo on left thanks to Life & Style. Photo on right from 2008 thanks to WENN.com .

One of my dirtiest secrets is that I watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians if nothing else is on. I don’t even like the family, but sometimes, on a lazy Sunday, I’ll get transfixed and watch three episodes during some hellish E! marathon. Thus, I have a strange affection for Bruce Jenner. He’s surrounded by bossy, crazy women, and he’s just doing the best he can. He seems like a pretty good dad and step-father to the Kardashian girls. All of the women in his life seem to adore him, even if they are constantly harassing him and generally making him intensely uncomfortable in his own home.

One of worst-kept secrets of the show and of Bruce Jenner’s life is that his face is wrecked. I’d heard that he had some bad work done, but I never knew the bad facelift was such an established fact that his step-daughter Kim would announce a second, reparative facelift to the world. But it’s happened! Kim Kardashian is blogging about Bruce’s new face:

After hinting that someone in her family will have plastic surgery, Kim Kardashian is now revealing that her step-dad, Bruce Jenner (dad to Hills star Brody Jenner), is the one who went under the knife.

“Ever since I revealed in recent interviews that one of my family members would be going under the plastic surgeon’s knife on the show, I’ve been inundated with emails and calls asking who it is!!” she blogs. “I can reveal that it was my stepdad Bruce!”

“Twenty five years ago, Bruce was ill-advised by a doctor to have a partial facelift and a nose job,” Kim writes. “Unfortunately, the result wasn’t what Bruce had hoped for and for years since then he has been the victim of cruel taunts from the media.”

“Since he’s turning 60 in October, Bruce felt it was time to correct the mistakes made by the previous doctor so he went to a new doctor for a second facelift,” she continues. “The results are amazing! Bruce looks better than ever and he is extremely happy with the result. Make sure you watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians next Sunday to see what Bruce went through for his new look!”

[From US Weekly]

A facelift from twenty-five years ago? That must have been something, to go in for cosmetic surgery in the olden days. Did they even have scalpels back then? It’s funny because even though facelift technology and cosmetic surgery has probably developed by leaps and bounds over the years, people still look the same post-facelift today: surprised, squinty and bland. Bruce always looks “shocked” at whatever is happening in his house – so is he really surprised, or is it just the bad lift? We’ll see when his new face premieres. Here’s hoping the man can smile without wincing!

Bruce Jenner is shown at the Academy of Country Music Awards on 4/5/09, credit: PRPhotos and out with his wife, Kris, on 8/31/08, credit: WENN.com