American Pie star Jason Biggs’ wife of three and a half years, actress Jenny Mollen, 32, has written a long essay for Playboy site The Smoking Jacket detailing her quest to hire a hooker for her and her husband. Spoiler alert, it ended with an unsatisfying beej from the third person they tried and ended up costing over a thousand bucks in total. Supposedly it rekindled their sex life though. I’ll excerpt a little below that won’t make the ads disappear hopefully. You can read more, and more explicit details at The Smoking Jacket.

Note that this whole series of events happened two and a half years ago, since Jason and Jenny have been married since April, 2008 and Jenny writes that they had been married just over a year at the time. The fact that they’re still together now is surprising to me, but to each their own.

“Do you want to go down on him a bit?” Keisha suggested. In my mind I was thinking, “No, dude, that’s why I paid you the six hundred dollars, to do the work for me! I’m going to be over here eating chips.” Of course, there was no way my husband was going to let me get away with that so I obliged.

The most exciting part of the day was Keisha complimenting me on my [beej] skills. I love approval of any kind. Sadly, however, I think it was pretty obvious that my husband and I were both bored. He quickly became flaccid and we were left with nothing to do but stare at each other.

“I kind of feel like you are a giant baby and we are putting a diaper on you,” I blurted out.

“Umm, that’s not what I wanted to hear, Jen.” my husband laughed…

On the plane ride home I texted Keisha and thanked her for her work. What ever it was she had done, worked. I was instantly more aroused by my husband. He seemed so mysterious to me. Even though the actual act was relatively boring and a financial bust, the reliving of it grew hotter and hotter in my mind. “What a sweet whore,” I said to my husband, staring down at the flickering lights of good ole Sin City. He laughed and grabbed my leg. Something was rekindled between us. Or perhaps something blossomed that was never there before. I don’t know which it was, but I felt closer.

[From The Smoking Jacket via WeSmirch]

I learned everything I know about prostitution from watching Cathouse on HBO. It usually costs a thousand bucks for an hour of a working lady’s time at that legal Nevada brothel. For that price you know what you’re getting, it’s safe and they get tested regularly. No judgment from me on anyone who wants to hire a sex worker, as long as both partners are ok with it and it’s someone who is of age, willing, and is not a victim of trafficking. (How can people even tell, though?) Still, it takes some serious balls to write about it like this, even if the writing wasn’t that interesting. This Jenny chick was really negative and mocking of the women she encountered, and I got the impression that’s she was totally over her marriage and this was a last ditch effort to switch things up. I could have been or this could have worked for them given that they’ve been together over two years since this happened.

Also, the commenters on The Smoking Jacket are mentioning how many times she used the word “wh*re” and how dismissive she was of the women in that business. In my opinion she did it both in an attempt to be funny and because she was feeling insecure about the whole process.

I won’t delve any further and will just end with my favorite comment. This kind of sums it all up for me:

It’s kinda like I want to have some reaction to this story – but then I remember this is the guy that stuck his dick into an apple pie and that’s why he’s famous. And this is the girl that married the guy who stuck his dick into an apple pie and that’s why she has some name recognition.
And when I think of it that way -
Where was Stiffler, Tara Reid, Eugene Leavy and that Coolidge Chick the whole time all this was going on ???
In the end it just all seems like another American Pie sequel.
Entertaining – but quickly forgettable.

– From Evan Benz

As for what Jason thinks about this, he tweeted “My wife is in Playboy. Hot.” Deep thoughts.

This is a story you might be tempted to laugh at – but shouldn’t. I’m letting you know right now, so you don’t giggle and wonder if you should feel guilty. You should feel guilty. “American Pie” actor Jason Biggs was attacked in the face by a Barbary macaque while on vacation in Gibraltar. Apparently he and “American Pie” costar Eddie Kaye Thomas went there to celebrate the film’s 10 year anniversary. Oz and Stifler’s mom apparently stayed home, which was probably for the best, considering how the holiday went.

The American Pie actor Jason Biggs has cut short his holiday in Europe after being attacked by one of Gibraltar’s famous monkeys. In a scene that could have come from the comedy films that have made him famous, the 31-year-old star fought off the wild animal when he was attacked while sightseeing on the British colony.

He was visiting the disputed territory at the foot of Spain with friend and American Pie co-star Eddie Kaye Thomas when the pair came face to face with one of Gibraltar’s mascots.

“Jason and Eddie decided to go on the trip to celebrate the ten-year anniversary of Pie,” a source told US media.

“They were hiking in the woods when this monkey suddenly leapt on Jason from a tree and tried to bite his face off.

“Jason’s travelling companions managed to fend the beast off and Jason thankfully wasn’t seriously hurt, just shaken up.”

The actor abruptly ended his holiday as a result of the attack and returned to the US early.

[From the Telegraph]

According to the Telegraph, there are signs all over Apes Den and the Siege Tunnels warning the hundreds of daily tourists to be wary of the monkeys. Not only can they attack humans but they also spread disease. There’s something about Jason Biggs that makes it hard to write about him without some teasing. He could be the president of Harvard, and I’d still look at him and stifle a laugh. I think it’s probably just the goofy grin and silly nature. But I mean the guy is really lucky to be alive. Primates do attack and can even kill. We’re naturally drawn to them because they seem so human like, and it’s easy to forget that’s not the case. Remember that horrible chimpanzee attack in February? Biggs is lucky he escaped relatively unscathed.

Here’s Jason Biggs with wife Jenny Mollen at the grand opening of the new SugarFish Sushi restaurant in Brentwood on July 26th. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Jason Biggs has a new film coming out and since the promotional poster is doing nothing to help sell it, he’s working very hard to give good sound bites in interviews. He’s partially succeeded.

American Pie star Jason biggs gets a kick out of wearing boxer shorts his wife’s ex used to wear.

The actor, who wed Jenny Mollen in April (08), admits he found the briefs lying around one day and decided to try them on for size – and now he has claimed them.

He tells Playboy magazine, “She saw me wearing them, and she was like, `You know, those are Drew’s.’ I don’t care. He broke them in, and they fit me perfectly.

“I wore them on our honeymoon.”

Contact Music

My first thought was ‘That’s disgusting’, followed quickly by ‘Maybe he wears briefs underneath the boxers’ before wondering how long it had actually been since his wife split with Drew.

The couple married fairly swiftly after meeting in April 2008, but I still think she could have gotten rid of her ex’s underwear before dating someone else. It would really creep me out if my husband wore someone else’s underwear, and right now I’m trying to decide whether it would be better for him to wear another man’s, or some of my underwear…

I think the point Jason Biggs was trying to make with this statement is this – I’m funny, my movie’s funny, please go see My Best Friends Girl.

Jason Biggs and his wife Jenny Mollen are shown at the Over Her Dead Body premiere on 1/29/08. Credit : Nikki Nelson/ WENN

Irresponsible dog owner Dane Cook can’t be bothered to pick up his dog’s poop after multiple, multiple warnings. He should be grateful he’s achieved his level of fame despite pretty accurate allegations of jacking other people’s jokes and not making them any funnier. True to form, Cook is complaining on his myspace about the movie poster for his upcoming film with Jason Biggs and Kate Hudson, My Best Friend’s Girl. He’s right, the poster looks slapped together by someone who just learned how to use the pen tool in Photoshop, but maybe he should talk to producers and not air his grievances online. Lesser mortals have been fired for blogging negatively about their jobs. I would guess he has producers’ blessings though and that someone slapped this thing together to give him something to “joke” about and get the film some advance buzz:

Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, “My Best Friends Girl,” is the best / funniest film I’ve done yet. It’s got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It’s a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I’m not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I’d like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.

Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:

1. Graphics:
Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with
3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using “You Suck at Photoshop” templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

2. My head:
The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ vagina.

3. The Stare.
My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate’s mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.

4. Lips:
It looks like I’m wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I’m a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!

5. Fashion:
My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It’s going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I’m also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.

6. Flesh:
It’s no secret that I’m more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I’ve got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the f*@$in’ bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond’s dolls would look at me and say “shit … that guys got flawless skin!”

7. Hair:
It’s actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin’.

8. The set:
Pick one. This entire film takes place:

A. on Gattaca
B. at the Fortress of Solitude
C. inside a crystal wind chime

9. The cast:
Alec Baldwin is so f#&$ing funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.

10. Final thoughts:
I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.

Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn’t the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.

Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) watch it below! Just click of the mute button and your rolling!

PS – “Its funny what love can make you do.” I just threw up all over this awful poster.
Wow, wait … it looks better.

Hey … I love my new movie. Jeez … it IS funny what love can make you do.

[From Dane Cook's myspace via WeSmirch]

Maybe he’s trying in his own back asswards way to promote the film. Cook knows complaining will generate controversy and coverage, and he tries to temper his bitching with plenty of compliments for the movie. It’s possible this whole thing is a publicity stunt and they deliberately put out this bad poster to give fodder to Cook. Maybe it was his idea in the first place. What makes the poster suspicious is that Cook’s face has been obviously altered while both Hudson and Biggs look relatively normal.

Here’s the trailer. It looks completely predictable and annoying – except for Alec Baldwin. That man is teh sex. You can mock me all you want, I’m not changing my mind.

American Pie star Jason Biggs eloped on April 23rd with his girlfriend Jenny Mollen. The two met while filming the movie My Best Friend’s Girl, and apparently fell madly in love pretty quickly. According to OK! Magazine, this past October Biggs, 29, said in an interview, “I am in love for the first time. I wanna put a baby in her belly.” That’s quite the statement to make, especially so publicly. So far, nothing’s been said indicating Biggs has already put a baby in Mollen’s belly – but I’m sure that, given his proclamation, rumors will start swirling pretty soon.

American Pie star Jason Biggs can now call Jenny Mollen his wife. A rep for the actor tells OK!, “The two eloped in a private, intimate ceremony on Wednesday, April 23, in Los Angeles.”

Though Jason and Jenny still plan on having a proper wedding ceremony with family and friends in July in Napa, Calif., the couple chose this path to keep the distractions out. “It is the real deal,” a friend of the newlyweds tells OK! “I have never known two people more in love.”

And right from the beginning of their relationship, Jason, 29, didn’t hesitate to let the world know his feelings about his sweetheart. In an Oct. 2007 interview, he announced, “I am in love for the first time. I wanna put a baby in her belly.”

The couple met on the set of their movie My Best Friend’s Girl and became engaged shortly after. For the sake of their marriage, let’s hope there was a wedding cake at the reception — and not an apple pie!

[From OK! Magazine]

My Best Friend’s Girl is set to be released on September 20th. Given that, it doesn’t seem as though Biggs and Mollen have known each other all that long – but it’s certainly no Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon situation.

Whenever I imagine a couple eloping, I picture them jetting off to some exotic locale, or at least somewhere that involves taking a trip. Considering the couple lives in Los Angeles and got married there, it sounds less like an elopement and more like a quickie wedding. Either way, congratulations to the happy couple.

Here are Jenny Mollen and Jason Biggs at the “Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay” Los Angeles premiere on April 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Jennifer Garner, Jason Biggs and Sarah Silverman are amond the celebrities that appear in a series of new videos promoting the use of cleaner-burning fuels. There are three ads out produced by the Center for American Progress Action Fund that feature a dorky guy named Phin, a “lone citizen for change” who gets awkward help from the celebrities in his quest. Affleck is featured in the first ad, while Jason Biggs is in the third. Silverman, Damon and Garner will appear in the upcoming segments. The ads are kind of goofy, but if you watch them you get the point and they are entertaining. If you want to learn more about exactly what they’re proposing, it’s in the second video below and/or you can visit their website, CleanMyRide.org.

They want to increase mileage requirements for automobiles in the US and make ethanol and “flex fuel” available at more gas stations.

This seems completely reasonable and attainable, but it will take work and advocacy. In Europe you can get biodiesel gas all over the place. Biodiesel is usually a little less expensive at the pump than regular diesel in Germany. It’s made from vegetable oil such as rapeseed oil, and it has 60% less CO2 emissions than standard diesel, as well as a lot of other environmental benefits. We have more deisel cars here, and there’s a real push to use alternative fuels and cars that get better MPG because gas is so much more expensive. Maybe if Americans started to feel the pinch too they would be more supportive of measures to fund and use alternative fuels.

To learn more and see the new video spots when they’re out you can visit the website CleanMyRide.org