I like Claudia Schiffer, I really do. I like how she transitioned from being one of the best supermodels of her day to being a London mother and wife, to director and producer Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake, Kick-Ass). Claudia is one of a kind, in my mind. So why do a cheap knock-off of Demi Moore’s famous Vanity Fair cover? Sure, Claudia looks amazing naked and pregnant. As did Demi. Is this the only way to pose a pregnant woman naked? Oh, and this was shot by Karl Lagerfeld too – how gauche, Karl. To completely jack something from Annie Leibovitz… Lagerfeld should be ashamed.

Proudly showing off her growing baby bump, supermodel Claudia Schiffer poses nude for the June cover of Vogue Germany. Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld shot the glowing mom in a pose that is nearly identical to Demi Moore’s infamous 1991 Vanity Fair cover in which the actress posed in the buff at seven-months pregnant.

Schiffer, 39, who announced her pregnancy in January, is expecting a baby girl with husband, director Matthew Vaughn, in May. The couple are already parents to Caspar, 7, and Clementine, 5.

The model has credited her new life as a wife and mom to helping change the workaholic lifestyle she once had.

“I used to work every single day and travel round the world. I worked weekends, I never took one second off,” she told the Daily Mail. “When I met my husband I said, ‘You know what, this is important. I’m not going to work weekends any more.’ And when I had kids, I became even more careful. Modeling work is fine because you can do one day here, two days there – you’re never long gone.”

After marrying Vaughn in 2002, Schiffer said she put her career on hold to immediately start a family. After having their first child, the couple decided to have another “as soon as possible.”

“I love being pregnant,” she admitted. “You can do whatever you want. You don’t feel guilty, because I used to feel guilty about having a day off.”

“And, you know, something really strange happened to me. Before my pregnancies, I was someone who had to watch their weight. I had a personal trainer, I was working out, I would never eat anything sweet,” she continued. “Anyway, I got pregnant and when I was breastfeeding it just came off. I can eat whatever I want. If I don’t eat enough, I will lose weight.”

[From The New York Daily News]

Do you think she’ll name this baby a “C” name too? For a boy, I bet Lagerfeld is angling for “Carl”. As far as her being happiest while she’s pregnant, well, that shows. She looks gorgeous, and she’s one of those lucky bitches that looks absolutely amazing during her pregnancies. Oh, and I think her husband is really sexy too – Vaughn comes from a very aristocratic background, and he ended up friends with Guy Ritchie. After that friendship blossomed, he ended up becoming a major film producer in England, and then a major English director when directorial debut (Layer Cake) was a massive critical and word-of-mouth hit. Maybe I’m over-selling him as “really sexy”. He’s more like “nerd hot”. Here he is with Claudia and Brad Pitt:

German Vogue cover courtesy of HuffPo.

What is making Karl Lagerfeld and Ricky Lauren (wife of Ralph) laugh like this?

1. Fat people.
2. Mothers.
3. This photo.
4. Sadness.
5. Thinking about how Heidi Klum was never in Paris.
6. High-class escorts.

I could go on. But I won’t. Apparently, these photos are from last week and I’m only seeing them now. I think for some reason Karl might actually love Ricky Lauren. I think she might have told a joke, probably something off-hand, maybe about fatties or Heidi Klum, and he gave his one horrible, cruel, devastating smile a year. Or, in HuffPo’s words, “We’re guessing someone spiked his drink, but in any case, there’s nothing more heartwarming than a Karl Lagerfeld grin.” Shudder.

I got the link to this totally epic, completely real interview with Karl Lagerfeld from Gawker, in a piece Gawker titled “Karl Lagerfeld Prefers Hookers to Heartfelt Sex”. So you know from the start it’s going to be good! Oh, Anger Bear. I love you. And by saying that I love you, I ensure that you’ll never want to have sex with me. Dry heave. Sidenote: Karl is known as “The Kaiser”. Coincidence? Actually, yes. Moving on! Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?

Karl on his personal philosophy: “Down-to-earth. Sophisticated down-to-earth. I love paradoxes. Truth is only a question of point of view.”

On his sunglasses, which he doesn’t like to be photographed without: “They’re my burka. A burka for a man. I’m a little shortsighted, and people, when they’re shortsighted, they remove their glasses and then they look like cute little dogs who want to be adopted. I want to stay shortsighted or else I will need glasses for reading. But I don’t want them because I sketch, I do everything without glasses, except for speaking to strangers. Especially if they wear glasses, too.

Anger Bear tells a special story: “I had an interview once with some German journalist—some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists—maybe a week after—and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, “It’s impolite; remove your glasses.” I said, “Do I ask you to remove your bra?”

“Everything comes from the same place”: “Yes, exactly. Everything comes from the same head. The three things I like best in life are fashion, photography, and books. There are a lot of other things I may like but that I’m not gifted for. I’m not gifted for music. I’m not gifted for singing. I don’t like to act because my life is a pantomime anyway.”

On fame: “You cannot fight against it. There’s a price you have to pay for fame, and people who don’t want to pay that price can get in trouble. I accepted the idea of celebrity because of a French expression: “You cannot have the butter and the money for the butter.” And now I cannot cross the street. I cannot go anywhere. I have bodyguards. I have big cars… I don’t travel commercially. Whenever I go around the world I go on private jets.

Is he interested in both high and low culture? That is because there is only culture. I like to know everything; I like to be informed. I am not pretentious. I can speak several languages. I can read in every language.

On political correctness: “hard work is like being politically correct. Be politically correct, but please don’t bother other people with conversation about being politically correct, because that’s the end of everything. You want to create boredom? Be politically correct in your conversation. It means people talking about charities. Do it, be charitable, but don’t make a subject of conversation out of it because then you bore the world to death. It’s very unpleasant. But I don’t go out a lot so I’m not so exposed to people.”

On being against gay marriage and children: “Yes, I’m against it for a very simple reason: In the 60s they all said we had the right to the difference. And now, suddenly, they want a bourgeois life. For me it’s difficult to imagine—one of the papas at work and the other at home with the baby. How would that be for the baby? I don’t know. I see more lesbians married with babies than I see boys married with babies. And I also believe more in the relationship between mother and child than in that between father and child. If I were interested in children, I would be a godfather—or a godmother. I don’t like the idea of taking people out of their lives and their contexts. If there were a child I wanted to adopt, I would try to find the family of the child and give them the money for an education in his life and his context.”

On AIDS: “I don’t want to go back through that age. In those days it was a hopeless case. It was horrible. Beyond horrible. It killed a whole generation of people.”

On being gay: “When I was a child I asked my mother what homosexuality was about and she said—and this was 100 years ago in Germany and she was very open-minded—“It’s like hair color. It’s nothing. Some people are blond and some people have dark hair. It’s not a subject.” This was a very healthy attitude. Some people make drama out of it. I don’t even understand. It’s not a problem. It doesn’t exist. It’s not a subject. For me it never was.

On politics: “I’ve never voted in my life—for any kind of politics. I’m in fashion. Politics is not my job. I don’t vote in France even though foreigners here can. I will never vote in my life.

On porn & escorts: “I admire porn. And I personally only like high-class escorts. I don’t like sleeping with people I really love. I don’t want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn. I also think it’s much more difficult to perform in porn than to fake some emotion on the face as an actor. I admire porn actors.

[From Vice Magazine]

There is literally so, so much more, but I just wanted to get those quotes out there. I mean, Karl is insane. But I kind of love him too. He’s horrible and angry and crazy, but you know what? He’s got a strange kind of existential, morose consistency that I kind of admire. He’s a true misanthrope.

Yesterday, 40-year-old fashion designer Alexander McQueen was found dead. He committed suicide by hanging. Since his death was confirmed, tributes and prayers have been offered all around the world by models, celebrities and McQueen’s fellow designers. It didn’t even occur to me that Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld (otherwise known as The Anger-Bear) would chime in on McQueen’s death, much less that Karl’s comments would be somewhat cryptically disrespectful. Karl said: “I found his work very interesting and never banal. There was always some attraction to death, his designs were sometimes dehumanised. Who knows, perhaps after flirting with death too often, death attracts you.” Um… Karl? You couldn’t just say “I’m devastated, my thoughts and prayers are with his family” or something like that? Or am I reading this the wrong way? Is the Anger-bear trying to… (gasp)… feel something? Something close to… emotional pain? Anyway, the BBC has more tributes to McQueen, and here are some of the highlights:

Celebrities and friends have paid tribute to British fashion designer Alexander McQueen, following his sudden death at the age of 40.

In a statement, Victoria Beckham said: “Today, the fashion industry has lost a true great. An icon of all time. He made all he touched beautiful and will be desperately missed. My heart is very much with his family and friends at this very sad time.”

A host of stars left their tributes on the micro-blogging site Twitter.

“Very, very sad news about Lee McQueen,” wrote singer Boy George. “He was a genius, such tragic news.”

“So, so sad. Such a huge loss. He was one of my favourite designers. He will be missed.”
Kelly Osbourne wrote: “I am so, so sad to hear the news of Lee (Alexander) McQueen! I really just don’t know what say I’m really in shock.”

Actress Kirstie Alley showed characteristic humour in her tribute: “Alexander McQueen, you made big bottomed and not-so-big bottomed girls all over the world look stunning… come back soon… give it another go.”

Vogue editor Alexandra Shulman said: “Lee McQueen influenced a whole generation of designers. His death is the hugest loss to anyone who knew him and for very many who didn’t.”

“His brilliant imagination knew no bounds as he conjured up collection after collection of extraordinary designs,” Ms Shulman added. “At one level he was a master of the fantastic, creating astounding fashions shows that mixed design, technology and performance and on another he was a modern day genius whose gothic aesthetic was adopted by women the world over.”

Pop star Cheryl Cole, who wore a £4,000 diaphanous McQueen dress to her 26th birthday party last year, said :”My heart goes out to Alexander’s family and friends at this unbelievably sad and tragic time. Fashion has lost one of its most talented and inspirational figures.”

Fellow singer Kelis, who was a fan of the designer’s outlandish “lobster” shoes, said “he was one of our gems”.

“His work was beautiful and will remain immortal,” the star said in a statement.

Fashion designer Vivienne Westwood said she was “incredibly sorry to hear the news”.

Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld said: “I found his work very interesting and never banal.
“There was always some attraction to death, his designs were sometimes dehumanised. Who knows, perhaps after flirting with death too often, death attracts you.”

Matthew Williamson said he was “shocked and deeply saddened” by the designer’s death.
“He was a genius and his talent was second to none. Like many others, I always cited him as a hugely inspirational leader of world fashion. He will be greatly missed.”

Fellow designer Paul Smith said he was “extremely shocked” at the news.

“I have known Lee since his time at St Martins and gave him advice in the early part of his career. He was a very talented and creative designer, especially in respect of his tailored clothing.”

[From BBC]

Karl’s comments stick out like a sore thumb, don’t they? I wonder if Karl is going to take anything away from McQueen’s death, perhaps something to add to the ever-growing List of Hate. What does Karl hate from this experience that he can add to the list? Grief? No, too bourgeois. He’ll probably add “flirting with death” and “anyone who designs banal clothes, who don’t end up killing themselves.”

Thanks to Dlisted for the heads up!

Karl Lagerfeld gave an extensive interview to CNN International in Singapore, and much like every other interview Karl gives, this one is full of love. Wait, did I say “love”? I meant “hilarious statements, gross generalizations and general sentiments of hate”. Actually, though, I think Ye Olde Anger Bear is losing his touch. I didn’t find anything even resembling an enormous controversy in this interview (like say, “These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly”), unless you could the sentence “Holidays on the beach are okay but don’t tell us it’s for inspiration, because you become dumb in the sun.” But we already knew Karl hated the sun! That made it on Karl’s list of hate long, long ago.

He is perhaps the most recognizable man in fashion, almost never seen without his dark glasses, a silver ponytail and fingerless gloves. And while the German-born fashion designer has been the creative force behind fashion house Chanel for more than a quarter of a century, he’s still thriving on new ideas, designs and what the future may hold.

“I don’t look back… Life is not something made by order, we have to fit in the pattern of what life is all about now, and I’m a person who fits easily into this kind of situation because I like change,” he told CNN in Shanghai.

While his own image is enduring, he is the creative force of the Chanel fashion house, whose eponymous designer, Coco Chanel created some of the most iconic outfits of the 20th century. He may have upset the traditionalists when he first took over the reins, but for the forward-thinking Lagerfeld, it was not a concern.

“My job is to put in people’s brain the idea what Chanel was all about, even if it was not about such a large choice of things… I pushed [Coco Chanel's] symbol, like the change of pearls, in a way much more than she did herself. I could play with everything and mix it with everything that’s going on in fashion because fashion is about that. It’s not retrospective, it has to be something you want to wear now,” he said.

As for the notoriously harsh world of fashion, Lagerfeld sees it merely as a reflection of the way the world works.

“This is a world with no pity or that you can complain, ‘I couldn’t do it because things are against me.’ No, things are against nobody, if you have something to offer, or if you can be something,” he said.

“If you want to be successful in the fashion world, as well as the movie world and music world, it’s something else that you need, but you cannot decide that you have it. It’s up to you to sew it, but it’s up to the others to use it. In a way it’s the worst of worlds, but if you made in the world, it’s beyond pleasant.”

Confident and unabashed Lagerfeld is looking forward to more creative inspiration and hard work. His contracts with Chanel and Fendi are for life.

“Chanel died doing her last collection in her 90s, so I have time. I don’t think like this. It’s my projection, always six months, six months, six months. I don’t know. People laugh at me to disappear but I’m not ready for that one.”

“I am born for the battlefield. Competition is healthy you know. Some people would like the idea of no competition so they can keep the position for the rest of their lives, but no, there has to be a kind of danger all the time. I think it’s very healthy, it makes you better.”

[From CNN International]

Gah! This man is 76 years old, and he’s planning on making clothes as long as Coco Chanel! That means we’ve got another 15 years or so to add to out official Lagerfeld List of Hate. What will Karl hate next? I’ve got money riding on these for next year’s additions: shadows, pineapples, gardenias, Libya, sidewalks, redheads and anyone who eats protein. Here’s the interview excerpt for CNN:

As many of you know, I love a good “Karl Lagerfeld hates something of the week” story. Because this man is full of hate, for so, so many things and people. So much so, I’ve been keeping a running tally of some of his battles. Some of the highlights? Karl hates love, mirrors, the 1990s, public transportation, fat mothers, potato chips, sitting in front of the television, and anyone who says thin models are ugly. We have some new additions today – but they’re not anything epic. Today, Karl is hating on jogging pants, elastic, and retirement. Apparently, Karl, at a spry 76 years old, is determined to never sit around, retired, in jogging pants. Which is a delicious image, isn’t it? But Karl is still going to be designing until he dies. Which is epic:

You’re having a fashion crisis. Who you gonna call? Well, Karl Lagerfeld would be a safe bet. The 76-year-old designer has swatted away persistent rumours that he is set to stand down from his position as the helm of Chanel, insisting, “The world can count on me for a long time.”

“Retirement is not one of the topics with which I deal. Why should I?” he says. “I still have so many projects that I sometimes don’t know where to begin. Chanel will still need some clothes when I’m 89.”

Lagerfeld is a notorious workaholic. As well as designing for his own-name label and Chanel, he is the creative director of Fendi, an in-demand photographer and a celebrity in his own right.

His advancing age, however, means that many are considering the future of fashion without him. Lanvin’s Alber Elbaz is the name most regularly in the frame when it comes to the top job at Chanel, although he is always quick to deny it’s something that’s in the pipeline.

Lagerfeld, who famously shed 42kg in order to fit into the slim silhouette championed by Hedi Slimane at Dior Homme, counters that he’s fighting fit. His secret to maintaining a healthy diet? Step away from the jogging pants.

“Those things are dangerous because they have an elastic band,” he told Freundin, a glossy based in his native Germany. “It stretches and then you don’t know when you put on weight. I hate it when you let yourself go! I’m always looking the way you see me now.”

[From Handbag]

While I have to give Karl some credit for being hellbent on never retiring, it kind of just goes to show that the bitter, nasty ones always live forever, don’t they? I know everyone is always like “think positive, be nice, optimism will make you live longer” but I’ve found that’s rarely the case. It’s always the biggest bitch who lives forever. And if that’s really the case, Karl is immortal.

Anger Bear Karl Lagerfeld has decided to wade into the latest debate about the size of the current crop of models. Oh… you know this is going to be good, too. Can you feel it? Karl was asked about a magazine editor’s recent decision to use “realistic” women in their photo shoots as the backlash against insect-thin models grows. Of course, Karl had to shut that sh-t down. Karl sniffed: “It’s absurd. No one wants to see curvy women. You’ve got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying thin models are ugly.” Karl thinks fashion is “dreams and illusions.” The Guardian has more background on this story, but I do have to make one note – they change the words “mothers” and “chips” to “mummies” and “crisps”. Karl’s original comments were either to Agene France or Focus Magazine (or both) and I do wonder if he originally said this stuff in German, and everyone is translating however they see fit. Maybe it sounds different in German? Maybe it’s not as harsh?

Karl Lagerfeld, the eccentric German fashion designer, has waded into the debate about size-zero models by stating that people prefer to look at “skinny models”, and those who do not are “fat mummies”.

Lagerfeld, 71, was reacting to the magazine Brigitte’s announcement last week that it will in future use “ordinary, realistic” women rather than professional models in its photoshoots. He said the decision by Germany’s most popular women’s magazine was “absurd” and driven by overweight women who did not like to be reminded of their weight issues.

“These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly,” Lagerfeld said in an interview with Focus magazine. The creative director of the fashion house Chanel added that the world of fashion was all to do “with dreams and illusions, and no one wants to see round women”.

Lagerfeld, who is known in the trade as a designer with a particular penchant for skinny models, adopted an almost emaciated look himself a few years ago, losing a lot of weight when he went on a strict low-carbohydrate diet. He has continued to share his diet tips over the years, stating: “I only like the things that I’m allowed to eat, so it’s not like I have to avoid anything, which is how I don’t put on weight.”

He has also repeatedly defended the fashion world against claims that it encourages anorexia.

Three years ago in Berlin, the designer, known in the trade as King Karl and who sports a trademark upturned white collar and black leather gloves, created a stir by saying that it was psychological problems that caused models to be underweight, not pressure from the fashion industry.

“They aren’t deliberately skinny because they want to be models, they’ve probably had family problems or suffered from other traumas,” he said, adding that he had never seen any anorexic models himself, “only extremely slim ones”.

Brigitte’s editor, Andreas Lebert, said that after years of having to “fatten up” pictures of underweight models “with Photoshop”, the magazine will produce its first edition with non-professional models on 2 January.

“We will show women that have their own identity – the 18-year-old A-level student, the company chairwoman, the musician, the footballer,” he said. Lebert, who said the average weight of a model was “23% less” than that of a non-model, is calling for readers to sign up for photo sessions.

Brigitte’s decision follows a recent appeal by British Vogue editor Alexandra Shulman to major fashion houses to end the “size-zero” culture, and a scandal over a Ralph Lauren advertising campaign in which a model was “thinned down” using computer graphics.

[From The Guardian]

I’m starting to think Karl enjoys riling us too much. Like, it turns him on to be so nasty. Since we already know Karl hates fatties (and I’m using that term as a joke), I suppose we don’t really have anything to add to our running tally of Karl Lagerfeld’s List of Hate. At last total, Karl hated: love, the internet, Heidi Klum, food, mornings, Seal, mirrors, Diane von Furstenberg, the 1990s, traveling, human contact, anyone with a skin condition, fatties, anyone who doesn’t gush over the current Chanel line, public transportation, Audrey Tautou, sunshine, feminists, children, and models who have never been in Paris. I’m going to add fat mothers, potato chips, sitting in front of the television, and anyone who says thin models are ugly.

By the way, for anyone who needs a good laugh, check out this awesome video of Katy Perry trying to interview Karl Lagerfeld at his Paris show. He corrects her over and over, tells her he hates Sundays, talks about how he loves Lily Allen, compliments her on being “only a size 2” and says she did okay “for a beginner”. It’s pretty incredible.

Karl Lagerfeld is shown at his farm-themed Chanel show in Paris on 10/6/09 with Natalia Vodianova, Rihanna, Katy Perry and models. Credit: Fame Pictures

Heidi Klum is the cover girl for the first quarterly issue of Page Six Magazine, which will likely be some kind of supplement with the daily New York Post newspaper. The cover shot of Heidi is lovely, I think. Well, her roots are a little sketchy, but the image sort of reminds me of something sort of washed out, yet interesting, like a painting Andy Warhol would have done of Heidi. I like the very subtle, almost imperceptible hint of butt crack. Classy!

In the interview, Heidi talks about how she has no idea what the senile, old hater-toad Karl Lagerfeld meant when he started disrespecting Heidi left and right. Karl told the press that Heidi “was never in Paris, we don’t know her.” Karl went on to attack Heidi’s husband, Seal for his discoid lupus erythematosus, which is why his skin is pock-marked. Karl snotted: “I am no dermatologist but I wouldn’t want his skin. Mine looks better than his. He is covered in craters.” After that, Heidi stayed pretty cool, for the most part ignoring the Fussy Orange Anger-Bear. Heidi’s basic response in this interview is “Karl is insane. Meh.”

On the cover of the first quarterly edition of Page Six Magazine, free inside the New York Post on September 10, “Project Runway” co-host Heidi Klum is “unzipped” like you’ve never seen her before. The exclusive pictures by Rankin were shot when Heidi was three months pregnant with her fourth child.

On Karl Lagerfeld’s comments that he’d never heard of her and didn’t know who she was:“I don’t know why [Karl] said that. Maybe he wanted to be in the paper? Maybe he doesn’t understand what I do? It’s bizarre to me that he says he doesn’t know who I am because he’s dressed me in the past. I’ve worn Karl Lagerfeld. Not even Chanel—his line. Lagerfeld doesn’t just send random things everywhere, so it was a big thing for me [to wear his label] to the CFDA Awards a few years ago. I don’t know how he missed that, when he dressed me that time. But you know, it’s cool. People can say whatever they want to say. You can’t please everybody, and you can’t live your life wanting to please everybody either.”

On pregnancy, the fourth time around:“It’s hard when you don’t fit in your things anymore. The last month is unbelievable, how rapidly your stomach goes. It’s huge. The thighs, the butt—everything explodes in the end. But it’s bizarre. Just as it’s a miracle that you can grow a human being in your belly, it’s a miracle that your body goes back to normal again. I don’t think you ever get back to exactly the way you were, but you do get close. And I’m happy with that. Especially when you see your kid for the first time.”

On knowing that husband Seal was “The One”:“Aside from his sexy stature? He’s a gentle giant. [Seal is six- foot-three-and-a-half.] We’re very into family values. If you come to our house in L.A., you’ll see that it’s not a big, museum-like house where you can’t touch anything or sit anywhere. It’s a family house, where three children [Leni, Henry, 4; and Johann, 3] are living. We have toys all over the place.”

On keeping her distance from the “Project Runway” models:
“Otherwise, I’d get too attached, and I’d take their life story into consideration, which I don’t want to do. Either I like the clothes or I don’t. I don’t want to know that you live with your sick mother. I don’t want to feel badly because they have a sad story, like, ‘Poor thing, let’s keep him on.’ ”

[From Page Six Magazine via Cover Awards]

“Everything explodes”? Oh, that does not sound good. That actually makes me feel a little barfy. Oh… deep breaths. Must. Not. Think. Of. Body. Explosions. Anyway, Heidi’s due any day now, I think – which means the little girl will probably be a Virgo baby! Yeah! Virgos unite! Of course, the Virgo cut-off is September 22, so the baby could end up a Libra. But with Heidi’s “exploding” body (So. Nauseous.) I hope she has the baby sooner rather than later.

My mom and I have been trying to figure out when exactly this current season of Project Runway was filmed. I think it was probably the fall of 2008. My mom called me, sort of frantic, when the first episode aired, yelling “What happened to Heidi’s pregnant tummy? Did she already have the baby? What happened?” I’m totally into this season so far – and I’m loving how quickly the judges are cutting out the dead weight contestants. Right now my money is on Sharin, at least for the final three.

Here’s Heidi with Henry and Leni and a nanny shopping at The Grove after martial arts class last Tuesday in Los Angeles. Images thanks to WENN.com .

In all of the madness for Mad Men, I sort of forgot that one of my other favorite shows was finally coming back, at long last. Project Runway is returning, this time on Lifetime. The premiere episode will show on August 20 (this Thursday), and the Project Runway team is now in Los Angeles. The judges – Heidi Klum, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia – plus my favorite Silver Fox, Tim Gunn, sat down with Newsweek for a great roundtable discussion about the show, fashion, politics and why Tim needs a boyfriend. Beware – this is for lovers of Project Runway. If you don’t like the show, you’ll probably find this boring. One of the most interesting pieces of information was Heidi Klum talking about the one-sided war of attrition with Karl “Anger Bear” Lagerfeld:

NEWSWEEK: OK, we’re going to start with an easy question. If you had to name one person who forever influenced the way you look at fashion, who would it be?
Michael Kors: For me it would be Halston. He was American and proud of it, and I think that women really felt sexy in his clothes, but at the same time were comfortable.
Nina Garcia: I would have to say Coco Chanel. She set up such iconic classics: the tweed jacket, the little black dress, the chain bag. All those things still live today and have continued to keep that house so relevant.
Heidi Klum: For me it was probably Karl Lagerfeld, because he was German, and when I was in Germany I didn’t really know that fashion or modeling was, like, a serious job.

Heidi, aren’t you having a feud with Lagerfeld now? He’s been attacking you in the press.
Klum: I personally don’t have a problem with him, but I read things and I hear things.

Does he know that you admire him?
Klum: Well, that wasn’t the question. He was definitely a designer in Germany who was known. I think the country was very proud of him, and [his clothes] looked different.

The winners of American Idol are all instant successes. But that doesn’t seem to be the case with the winners of Project Runway . Why?
Klum: We get asked that question all the time. “What happens to the winners of Project Runway?”
Garcia: It takes years for a designer to get established.
Kors: And to figure out how to make it last. I think at the end of the day, the great thing about the show is that it gives you the platform. It gives you the spotlight, and then, quite frankly, it’s up to them to navigate these torturous waters.
Gunn: You have to have a tenacity to see through the bad reviews and persist. And with our Project Runway “alumni,” I’ll call them, it depends on how ambitious they are, and also how willing they are to relinquish making something to a production team.

Of all the contestants who have been on the show, who do you think has the best vision?
Klum: For me it would be Christian Siriano, because I still see him around. I wore one of his beautiful gowns to the Emmys and many people were like, “Who is this gown?”
Kors: I think to succeed in fashion, like in Hollywood, you need to have all of it. And Christian has it. He has the talent, he’s driven, and this is his life—he breathes it, he eats it—and on top of it all, he’s got a personality!

How is Runway going to be different on Lifetime?
Klum: I think so many people are afraid of us moving to L.A. But honestly, I’ve always said that we can shoot Project Runway on the moon, because we’re sort of in our own Project Runway world. But Tim, you were worried about the earthquakes.
Gunn: Well, that I was. I still am. But we were only there for a couple of days and I was reminded that before World War II, Hollywood was really the center of American fashion.

We’re just impressed that you invited Lindsay Lohan to be a guest judge, and she actually showed up.
[Silence]

Everybody’s so quiet now.
Klum: You’re such a gossip girl!
Kors: Ohmigod!

How do you think the Obamas have influenced the fashion world?
Gunn: Hugely.
Klum: I think it’s the first time that people actually look at women in politics wanting to look like them. Most women in politics, they wear a suit and look like a man.

Are you talking about Hillary?
[Laughter]
Klum: No. I’m not picking a person.
Kors: I think the other thing that’s interesting is that suddenly you have both a president and a first lady who are incredibly accomplished, incredibly bright, well read, obviously juggling 70 balls up in the air, and both very upfront about the idea that, you know what? It’s OK to look great doing it. Like, it does not make you suddenly a second-class citizen, or shallow.

Tim, I don’t want to put you on the spot. But the last time we talked, you were single. Is there a Mr. Tim Gunn in your life now?
Gunn: I couldn’t be more single. I don’t have time. Relationships take time, and I’d have to give something up, and there’s nothing I would want to give up. I really mean this: I’m the luckiest guy in the world.
Klum: You’re missing out on a few things.
Gunn: It’s been so long, Heidi, I’ve forgotten.
Klum: I just have to say, too, this is one of the biggest shames on the planet, because he’s such a wonderful man. I call him James Bond, because he is like our James Bond. And Tim is one of the nicest men: charming, handsome, smart. And I’m sure there is, like, fan mail that is coming in every day. Maybe he’s just really picky. Are you just really picky?
Gunn: No. I just don’t have my radar up.

[From Newsweek]

Aw, Tim does need a boyfriend. I wish I had a really amazing gay friend to send Tim. Alas, all of the gay men I know are total bitches. I also loved the part where everyone went dead silent at the mention of Lindsay Lohan’s name. She must have made a cracked-out judge if none of them could come up with something nice to say about her. Sigh. Now I’m really looking forward to Project Runway’s return!

Here’s Heidi Klum enjoying a day at the park in Soho with her mother Erna, daughter Leni and son Henry on July 16th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

We know Karl “Anger Bear” Lagerfeld has issues. And we know he often takes those issues out on whatever random person irks him on any given day. For a while, it was Heidi “Never Been In Paris” Klum and Heidi’s husband Seal, whose skin condition Karl mocked. Then last month it was Audrey Tautou, and the simple fact that Karl didn’t expressly approve of Audrey’s casting as Coco Chanel in the French film Coco Avant Chanel. He claimed in an interview that Penelope Cruz would have been better casting as Coco Chanel, which leads me to believe Karl might be a wee bit senile.

Even though Karl did not and still does not expressly approve of Audrey Tautou and the film in general, he’s still going to soak up some extra press. For the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar, it seems some editor’s bright idea was to interview Karl… with Karl “channeling” the voice/character/attitude of Coco Chanel. Unfortunately, what might have been a tongue-in-cheek comment sounds like the familiar Anger Bear we know and hate. Harper’s asks Karl/Coco is she’s still a feminist, and Karl/Coco replies, “I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that.” Oh, merde.

In Bazaar’s upcoming September issue, the magazine snagged an interview with possibly the most talked-about woman in the history of fashion: Coco Chanel. Ok fine, so Coco may not exactly be available for interviews today–but they got the next best thing, Karl Lagerfeld, to channel the iconic designer. A sneak peek of the hilarity, just for vous…

Harper’s Bazaar: Your clothing liberated women in the 1920s. Are you still a feminist?
Karl Lagerfeld as Coco Chanel: I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that.

HB: What would you change about your looks? Would you consider Botox?
CC: When I look at myself in the mirror, I think I’m pretty modern–whatever that means. But maybe I should change my makeup. In my day, the products were dreadful.

HB: What’s on your iPod?
CC: The Kills. They suit my character.

HB: You were famous for your paramours. Whom would you have an affair with today?
CC: I like handsome men, so there would be many possibilities, but dukes and princes are not the right escort for a woman like me today. I like to charm younger men. This has not changed.

HB: What’s the new Chanel classic?
CC: As apparently my old jacket is still around, done by this idiot Karl, I have to help him find a new idea.

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

To be fair to Karl, I really do think he was “in character”, although I don’t think Coco Chanel would necessarily approve. She was a groundbreaking feminist, and she did make clothes for the newly independent women. If I was answering these questions “in character” as Coco, I might say, in Coco’s voice, “Please don’t listen to this absurd, crazy, nasty little man. He does not speak for me.”

By the way, I hope everyone is keeping their “Karl Lagerfeld List of Hate” updated. Here’s what I’ve got so far – Karl hates: love, the internet, Heidi Klum, food, mornings, Seal, mirrors, Diane von Furstenberg, the 1990s, traveling, human contact, anyone with a skin condition, fatties, anyone who doesn’t gush over the current Chanel line, public transportation, Audrey Tautou, sunshine, feminists, children, and models who have never been in Paris. Good to know, isn’t it? My, what a crotchety old bastard.

Karl Lagerfeld is shown at the “Totally Spies” premiere on 6/28/09. Credit: PRPhotos.