American Idol contestant and country star Kellie Pickler is known for her bubbly, upbeat attitude, but she recently revealed that she’s been dealing with depression brought on by family and relationship troubles over the last year. It was pretty clear during her live performance on “Live with Regis and Kelly” earlier this year, during which she broke down in tears while singing, that Kellie was going through something. Kellie sought professional help and was prescribed some anti-depressants, but she says the drugs had side effects that made her “crazy.” In the end, she reached out to friends about her situation for support and met a new love interest along the way.

Last year, Kellie Pickler battled depression and suffered severe reactions to anti-depressant pills after struggling with family problems and an emotional breakup from her boyfriend, hockey player Jordin Tootoo, the country star reveals in the new issue of PEOPLE, on sale Friday.

“Everything in my professional life seemed great,” says the former American Idol contestant, 22. “But in my personal life, I was just crumbling.”

Anti-depressants made her “crazy,” she says, and the side effects forced her to quit the pills.

At the same time, she watched her father – a convicted felon who had been released from prison soon after her Idol stint – spiral downward again and return to jail, while her mother, who abandoned her at age 2, unexpectedly reemerged.

“I was an emotional wreck,” she says.

Her friendships with singers Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood, along with a new love – Nashville songwriter Kyle Jacobs – and writing songs for her new album (her self-titled sophomore effort was released Sept. 30) helped her find balance again.

“He makes me feel so good about being me,” she says of Jacobs.

[From People.com]

It sounds like Kellie has been having a rough time of it, and she deserves credit for seeking help for her problem. Unfortunately, it sounds like the drugs weren’t the answer for her. I was on anti-depressants briefly a few years ago while going through a divorce, and they really helped me. But I know other people who have reacted badly to them- feeling more depressed and even suicidal. I do think that talking to your trusted friends about your depression does help - but throwing yourself into a new relationship may not be the best idea. Either way, it does seem like Kellie is feeling better about herself and that’s a good thing.

Kelly Pickler is shown posing with a fan outside ‘Live with Regis and Kelly’ on 10/1/08. Credit: Ray Filmano / WENN

Some people know how to work the dumb angle to their benefit. A great example would be Jessica Simpson. She’s worked her lack of intellect every which way and made a good deal of money from it. But she’s what we’d call “regular dumb” – she’s just a little less bright than your average person, but not exceptionally dumb. She’s not so dumb that she’s clueless about her stupidity. Anna Nicole Smith – may she rest – was a bit clueless. She couldn’t really work the dumb angle to her advantage, because she was too dumb to figure out how. Instead it worked against her. Kellie Pickler seems to be right in between Jessica Simpson and Anna Nicole on the dumb scale. Sometimes you’ll see her say something, and it seems like she’s trying to play it up for laughs. But other times you get the feeling that she’s genuinely a few marbles short of a Hungry Hungry Hippos game. Last week Kellie was on “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” I’ve never seen the show before, but I’m absolutely sure I reached my intellectual peak in fifth grade, so I presume the point of the show is to make the contestants feel stupid.

Kellie certainly managed to look stupid – but something tells me she didn’t quite understand that. During her exchanges with host Jeff Foxworthy, she asked him (in all seriousness – she didn’t appear to be trying to make a joke) if Europe was a country, didn’t know what Budapest was the capitol of – though she thought it might be France – and then was confused if France really was a country or not. She seemed to be thinking out loud in a stream of consciousness fashion, and at some point talked herself into being quite sure that the one thing she DID know about Budapest is that they speak French there. And that was pretty much all she was sure about. Oh, and she’s never heard of Hungary. Turkey she’s heard of. But she seemed to think Jeff Foxworthy was pulling her leg on Hungary.

I know Kellie Pickler had a really hard childhood and probably had bigger things to worry about than geography. I’m not going to fault her for that. But write a check to charity – don’t go on a national game show to demonstrate to everyone that you’re a ditz. Blonds of the world, we need to unite. We need to organize. Women like Jessica Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, and Kellie Pickler are sending us back to the dark ages – the 1980s – when blond jokes ran amuck. Haven’t we worked too hard to overcome these ditzy stereotypes? No? Alright then. I’m going to go see how long it takes me to screw in a light bulb. Man I hate blond jokes.

Former “American Idol” contestant Kellie Pickler performed at the Country Music Awards last night while singing a song she wrote about her mother, who abandoned Pickler when she was two. Cynthia Malone abandoned Kellie after suffering several years of extreme abuse at the hands of Kellie’s father (who was in jail at the time Kellie was on American Idol, and has been back twice since then). Malone has said the beatings were so bad while she was pregnant that she had to take medication to prevent premature contractions. In an interview with the Charlotte News Observer, Kellie’s mom noted, “I knew God had to have a purpose for [Kellie] because there was too many times I would have miscarried because of all the hitting and beating on my stomach.” Her descriptions of abuse are pretty severe, but she also said, “When you’re in that place, you have to make a decision: her life or yours. I’d given her life, but I didn’t want to lose mine.” Malone left Kellie with her abusive father, though she eventually ended up mostly living with her paternal grandparents. Kellie wrote the song, “I Wonder” about her mother, and it’s currently at number 15 on the country charts. She gave a heartbreaking performance of it last night.

Kellie Pickler, “American Idol” alum, was swept away with emotion during her performance at the CMA Awards on Wednesday night. The singer performed, “I Wonder,” which tackles her relationship with her estranged mother, who has not been in Pickler’s life since she was 2 years old, as reported by People. As she sang, “Oh, I hear the weather’s nice in California,” tears streamed down her face. “And just in case you’re wondering about me/ From now on I won’t be in Carolina/ Your little girl is off to Tennessee,” the song continued.

Pickler did her best to finish the song, speaking the last word, “Tennessee,” to a standing ovation from the crowd. This is not Kellie’s first time dealing with parental problems. During her stint on “Idol,” her father, Clyde Raymond Pickler, was serving time in jail. After being released, he encountered more problems after reportedly being arrested for allegedly assaulting a woman with a steak knife.

Regardless of her past personal struggles, Kellie has achieved success in both music and television. After being booted from “Idol,” Pickler released her debut album “Small Town Girl” in October 2006. It was certified Gold for selling more than 500,000 copies. The singer also has a sitcom in development at Fox.

[From Access Hollywood]

Kellie’s story is incredibly empowering. There are few things in the world as hard to deal with as feeling like you were abandoned by your mother, and it’s not something you ever really get over. Kellie has done an incredible job of cultivating her talent and making a great life for herself. Whenever she’s interviewed, she comes across as really positive and upbeat, though at times a little too much so. Either way she gave a stirring and beautiful performance of her song, and it looks like things will only continue to get better for her.

Kellie Pickler canceled three concerts in a short span of time in June, and has since gotten American Idol and country fans alike in a bit of a tizzy. Kellie’s canceled shows, in Grand Junction, Colo., Greeley, Colo., and Albuquerque, N.M all happened on her current tour with country giant Brad Paisley. Supposedly Pickler isn’t eating enough, as many have noted that she’s lost at least 20 pounds since last year. According to the National Ledger, her rep, Wes Vause, “admits to Star that the singer is a ‘picky eater’ and canceled shows ‘because of low blood sugar.’ Vause tells Star that Kellie ‘had gone to Canada and didn’t eat enough, so she needed to get her strength back. She is well.’” Several sources on her tour say that Kellie has been under pressure to lose weight.

She’s under a great deal of pressure to be slender and slinky,’ an associate explains in the report from Star… ‘Kellie’s trying to lose weight, but that’s near impossible when she’s working 14 hours a day,’ the source adds. ‘Something has to give, and unfortunately it’s her health…She needs to eat and rest more,’ says the source. ‘There’s a real fear that she won’t hold up.’”

[Linked from the National Ledger]

I never thought Kellie needed to lose weight in the first place. She did appear to get a boob job a while ago that made her look top heavy. Dr. Anthony Youn, a Michigan-based Plastic Surgeon, noted on his website Celebrity Cosmetic Surgery that, “she does appear to have had a recent breast augmentation. When breast implants are too big they can make some women look heavy. This appears to be the case with her.” What in the world was wrong with how Kellie looked before? She was beautiful, with a healthy, perfect-looking figure.

One thing I’ll never understand, is why a girl who wants to be rail thin would have breast implants, as they do tend to make you look bigger on top. I understand wanting the curves, but then wouldn’t you want not to be rain thin in the first place? Sometimes desires, and body image issues, just don’t make sense. Kellie’s had a hard life, and has a good deal of talent. I just wish women didn’t feel like they all needed to fit into this teeny-tiny-big-boob ideal. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Kellie Pickler is shown on 5/15/07 at the ACM Awards. Thanks to WENN for this picture.