Yesterday, Kaiser brought us news of Megan Fox, a.k.a., “Megan 2.0: The Supporting Actress Years,” who has evidently taken some public relations lessons and now speaks quite rationally in terms of waiting to have a baby until she makes more money. In addition, Megan also recently quit her restrictive vegan diet and has subsequently gained a few pounds, which makes her look a lot more human. Here’s a question though — why would a vegan have ever claimed to eat red velvet cake every night before bed? Sure, maybe it’s an adapted “vegan” recipe, but Megan has also said that she’ll starve to death before cooking for herself, so I imagine that her version of veganism was a lot of raw food and, basically, not eating much at all. Why am I even bothering to question Fox’s words? It’s not that I think Megan Fox is a liar, but I do believe that she has a history of making sh*t up in interviews (like when she claimed to be “OCD”), and that’s hard to forget. She probably didn’t say all that wacky stuff out of any malicious intent, but I have a hunch that she’s probably socially awkward to a degree and resorted to making things up to sound more entertaining during interviews.

At any rate, Megan is trying to revamp her reputation in the industry, so during her TIFF promotional duties for Friends With Kids, Fox sat down with Moviefone to discuss her relief at not only trying her hand at ensemble comedy but also playing a character who is “not a jerk” and is “more human” than those she’s taken on before. She also expresses concern that people view her as “a robot,” but that impression might be less about her previous roles and more about her botoxed, Photoshopped face. Just saying.

Speaking of humanization, a strange thing happened during the recent promotion for Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon; that is, the boorish behavior of Michael Bay and Shia LeBeouf, which was geared towards promoting the film at the expense of humiliating Megan, actually caused a lot of people to feel sorry for her. Yes, she deserved to be fired for badmouthing Bay in the press, but she didn’t deserve the promotional mudslinging from Bay. She also didn’t deserve to be called a Spice Girl feminist by Shia, nor did he have any right to expose their prior hookup(s) in a Details interview. However upset that Megan might have been about all of this “Boys Club” behavior, she kept her mouth shut in an unprecedented display of restraint. Now, Megan tells Moviefone what she was really thinking during that whole mess:

On Why She Didn’t Defend Herself Against Shia’s Words: I didn’t want to talk about it while they’re on the press tour because I didn’t want to try to throw mud at them. I didn’t want that movie to suffer. Especially because I love Shia. I wanted that movie to do well for him. I didn’t want to have this big media war over something that really was so silly and it would have just been my ego needing to engage in a war, at that point. Of course, there will be a time when I want to tell my side of the story. I just don’t feel it was appropriate while they were promoting the movie. Like, “She’s trying to take away from the movie.” So it was best to let them say what they were going to say. It’s fine.

On Watching Transformers: Dark of the Moon: I haven’t seen it yet, but I will see it. I mean, if they hadn’t been hitting me so hard on the press tour, I would have gone to the theater. But I felt like that would have been a disaster: Me sitting with a packed theater of people watching the movie. So I didn’t go. I mean, I have nothing against watching it. And I love Shia to death; I love him unconditionally. And I love that crew. I’m really close to the hair, makeup and wardrobe that made that movie. I want to see it for them. I know it looked amazing in the trailer. Out of all three trailers, that was the trailer that I was like, “Wow, sh*t, this is a huge movie.” So I think it will be an interesting, fun thing to watch, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.

On Her Past Interviews: That’s sort of the most … like the feeling of betrayal — that you have as a celebrity or an actor or entertainer — I think comes from meeting with journalists and feeling like, Hey, I had a good conversation with you, then you read the article and it’s like, Wow! Well, that’s not the angle that I thought you were going to take. You need to sell this magazine, I understand, but, sh*t, I just didn’t realize it was going to go in that direction. So you have to become a little bit jaded with press in that sense. You have to just guard yourself, because you never know what people are going to do. Like I said, I used to have a lot of fun in interviews — I’d be playful, I’d be sarcastic. But there’s too much room for someone to take what I was saying and cut it up, rearrange it, and throw it on “Extra.” It’s insane. You have to be really strong. You have to just shut yourself off to the criticism at some point.

On Being “More Human” In Friends With Kids: I just think the idea is that because most of the way that people have seen me, it’s the glorified pin-up girl with motorcycle boots who is also fighting to save the world. It’s not necessarily someone who you connect with because they’re not real people necessarily who exist like that — the glossy lips in the middle of the desert. In Jennifer’s Body I was this crazy — it’s this wonderful Diablo Cody script, but it’s so kooky and so weird and I was eating people. It’s just a very strange movie. You don’t necessarily see the human side of whoever is playing that person. And I just think the media, in general, I just don’t really get portrayed as someone who has feelings or who is sympathetic. Or I sort of am portrayed as this — I feel — like a self-absorbed ice queen. Maybe. And I think the people who see me in a role that allows me to be more human — I don’t know another word to use to describe it — is why people are saying it’s a good move to have done.

For the most part I’m really strong with how much bullsh*t I had piled upon me for so long. But, you know, I care about people. I care about my life and I love people. I’m not this robot. I feel people think I’m almost like a robot — like an android. And that I’m all about me and my thoughts are all about me. That I want to be famous. I know one thing I’ve heard a lot is, “Does she say the things that she says because she wants attention? It’s attention-seeking.” But I always felt like, if that were the case, wouldn’t I display some sort of attention-seeking behavior, which I’ve never done. I’ve always tried to live a really normal, private, quiet life. So I just think I’ve always really allowed room for the media to sort of chop my words and put their own narrative on it and create this salacious sound bite that goes everywhere. And because of that I feel like people just have no idea what I’m like or who I am. I feel like it’s a mystery. Which is OK. It could be a good thing. But obviously there are times when you struggle with it because being misunderstood 90 percent of the time is difficult because you want to clarify. But you deal with it.

[From Moviefone]

Yes, Megan’s getting some good PR advice right now, and it’s flowing into this interview. She sounds more mature than ever before, and I hope the trend continues. She very nearly almost slipped up while talking about her role in Jennifer’s Body but redeemed herself by praising Diablo Cody’s script. So Megan is steadily learning to play the Hollywood game, which at least gives her some promise towards not messing up any possible goodwill that she might earn in these ensemble comedies that she’s got going on right now. Hopefully, her role in The Dictator with Sacha Baron Cohen will take her a few places as well. Of course, I admit that I’m secretly rooting for Megan Fox not so much for herself but because it would be nice to watch Michael Bay eat his words someday too. After all, something needs to take that douchebag down someday.

Photos courtesy of WENN and AllMoviePhoto

It was never a question of what movie would end up in the #1 position at the box office over the holiday weekend but only how high the numbers would go. In this case, Transformers: Dark of the Moon made $97.4 million for a five-day total of $162.1 million over the lengthy holiday weekend; in doing so, T3 has effectively broken the Independence Day weekend record that was previously held by the likes of Spider-Man 2, which (consequently) is now only semi-memorable for the moment when Kirsten Dunst nipped out while screaming for Tobey Maguire to rescue her damsel-in-distress self from certain demise.

Of course, Transformers 3 was exactly the type of mindless movie that everyone hoped it would be, and it even threw in a few anti-Megan Fox jokes for the benefit of all fans of The Oral History of Michael Bay; that is, if there are any Bay fans at all who don’t just go for the explosions. Certainly, Bay had a hand in the fact that Sam Witwicky’s (Shia LeBeouf) pet robots made explicit mention that his ex-girlfriend, Michaela (Fox), was super mean to them, which resulted in the robots’ declaration that they’re incredibly happy that she was no longer present in their lives (and, by extension, the franchise’s third installment). Yeah, keep stoking that fire, Bay, and stroking your own dong in the process.

Paramount’s latest Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is the giant #1 movie after opening with some 3D-only nighttime sneaks on Tuesday ($5.5M), followed by a full release into 4,013 theaters on Wednesday ($37.7M) and Thursday ($21.4M). Now Friday brings in a big $32.8M, and Saturday $34M. As of Friday, that’s still -24% behind 2009′s Transformers 2 ($98M vs $128M) despite TF3‘s higher 3D ticket prices. Michael Bay’s robot actioner should near $100M domestic this three-day weekend, and $180M through the Fourth of July. “We expected to start behind the last one,” a Paramount exec tells me. “This one has an ‘A’ CinemaScore and better reviews, so it should play to a better multiple.”

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon could break these July 4th holiday box office records: 3-DAY RECORD (bettering Spider-Man 2‘s $88.2M); 4-DAY RECORD (bettering Spider-Man 2′s $115.8M), 5-DAY RECORD (bettering Twilight Saga: Eclipse‘s $157.6M).

[From Deadline]

In second place was Cars 2, which added an additional $25.1 million for a total of $116.0 million after two weekend. In third place (and also in its second weekend) was Bad Teacher, which paired Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake in a raunchy R-rated comedy with $14.1 million for a total of $59.5 million. Besides the latest Tranformers flick, there were two other openers this weekend. One of them, Larry Crowne, landed in fourth place with a measly $13.0 million, which is positively abysmal considering that the movie starred two A-listers, Tom Hanks and Julia “Bitchface” Roberts (perhaps she’ll have slightly better luck with that ill-fated Snow White reboot). In fifth place, Monte Carlo took in merely $7.6 million, which solidifies the fact that getting one’s toes rubbed by Justin Bieber has done absolutely nothing for Selena Gomez’s big-time Hollywood feature film career.

Movie stills/posters courtesy of AllMoviePhoto

For whatever reason — and I’m thinking that Paramount must have paid handsomely for this service in light of the impending release of Transformers: Dark of the Moon — GQ has published a so-called complete “oral history” of Michael Bay. Kaiser already covered the Megan Fox stuff, but GQ has finally presented its audience with the entire eight-page almanac, which is positively epic in its sweeping vision of douchetasticness and purports to “reveal the secret genius behind a true Hollywood visionary.”

Within this article, more than sixty people chime in to lend their support to “the most underappreciated man in show business.” Included in this ass-kissing plethora are fellow directors, producers, actors, and Bay’s mommy, all of whom are engaged in a quasi-heroic effort to both mythologize and humanize Bay. Here are a few highlights:

On Bay’s Directing “Style”

Ben Affleck: I think Michael is actually an auteur in the true sense of the word. Every movie he makes reflects his personal creative vision. You may like it, you may not–but those movies are him without compromise. There’s something to be said for sticking to your guns.

Steven Spielberg: He has the best eye for multiple levels of pure visual adrenaline.

John Turturro: He likes blowing things up

George Lucas: Michael’s films are immediately identifiable.

Ehren Kruger (screenwriter): He’s like this cross between General Patton and Willy Wonka. He’s in command of a massive army, all in the effort to create the ultimate Everlasting Gobstopper.

Michael Bay: I’m, like, a true American.

A true American, really? That’s not even worth arguing over, so now let’s travel back to Bay’s (not so) humble beginnings:

On Bay’s Early Work Directing Music Videos:
Bay: This guy called me in from Capitol Records–he was a hard-ass marine, kinda scary in the meeting. He said, “If you can wrap this Donny Osmond video up for $165,000…” Meanwhile, I’m like two weeks out of school. The most I’ve ever spent is $5,000. I ended up getting paid $500. But I got to make my first thing.

Harriet Bay: I remember going out to watch him shoot it. It was in the Mojave desert, and there’s like 200 people. It’s this big deal. It was so exotic. It was the first time he got to use a helicopter. And he whispers in my ear, “Mom, can you believe I’m getting paid to do this?”

Fuller: The first time I saw Michael on a bigger set, he was doing a video, and there was the hottest blonde girl I’ve ever seen in my life, and she’s got a wind machine on her. She’s dancing, she looks hot, she’s wearing a short skirt. He’s shooting her from a low angle. And he looked at a few of us, and there was this look in his eyes, like he had reached nirvana. It was childlike wonderment.

Scott Gardenhour (producer): There was no question Michael would go on to do other things, and that they wouldn’t be small.

Bay: I had gotten movie offers and turned them down. I took my time. They sent me Saving Private Ryan, but I wouldn’t have known what to do with it.

Oh man, can you imagine what a sh-tstorm Saving Private Ryan would have been with Bay at the helm? Perish the thought.

On Why He Was The Go-To Director For Transformers

Adam Goodman (President, Paramount): Transformers are essentially cars that change into robots, and who better at shooting cars than Michael Bay?

Spielberg: I couldn’t think of a better director to turn a truck into a robot and make us believe it was really happening.

Bay: I thought it was a dumb idea.

Josh Duhamel: Michael poked his head [into a meeting] to say hello and started telling me about his next project, a movie called Transformers. And I go “Transformers? Like the cartoon from the ’80s?” and he’s like “Yeah, yeah,” and he’s all excited about it. And I was thinking, This is the worst idea ever.

Alex Kurtzman (screenwriter): It’s about a boy who’s really obsessed with getting a car. That’s when we saw Michael’s eyes light up like he was a 12-year-old again.

Shia LaBeouf: When I met Mike, I was a seventeen-year-old boy. He was my f&*#king god.

Finally, let us not forget that Bay is not just a directing machine but also flesh and blood.

On Michael Bay, Ladies Man

LaBeouf: I’ve only seen Mike with two women in the six years that I’ve known him. He wants a family and has the heart for it.

Roger Barton (editor): My wife tries to limit my outings with him.

Jon Voight: He has his girlfriends, all of that stuff. He’s an active guy with his gals.

Bay: Well, it was only two [blonds]. But that was two in a row. Normally I don’t go out with blonds.

Harriet Bay: I said, “Oh, Michael, I guess you’re going to be like Warren Beatty. He didn’t get married until he was fifty.” So Michael feels he’s got three more years to go.

Bay: It’s about finding a wife. I’ve had a lot of great girlfriends.

White: I just can’t see him with somebody over 35.

Bay: I’m a serious guy, but I don’t take myself so seriously. Some people are so serious. The persona comes from…I’m a frank guy.

John Malkovich: You know, it’s an incredible amount of pressure. And sure, somebody could say “He’s a junkie for that,” or “He likes the authority,” but I always think, God, that must be so lonely.

Shia LaBeouf: Mike is a vulnerable guy. He’s the guy who laughs at a joke, then asks you why it’s funny.

Scarlett Johansson: I ran into him leaving a party once and asked him if I could be the Easy-Bake Oven Transformer. He looked at me in all seriousness and said, “There isn’t one.”

[From GQ]

The article then goes on for several more miles of unbelievable buttkissing from all angles. While this may seem like a lot of excerpting, believe me when I say that it doesn’t even scratch the surface. If you have the stomach for it (not to mention an excess of free time), the rest of the article will figuratively “blow” your mind in its blatant disregard for any reality outside of explosions and slo-mo running sequences. There is, however, an interesting tidbit about why Bay feels that he really made Will Smith the movie star that he is today because of Bad Boys. While that may or may not be true, one thing is for certain: Michael Bay really is King of the Dipsh-ts. And he might very well be the guy with the pretty blonde dangling from his arm, but there’s no question to the fact that she was paid to be there.

Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures

For those among you that are already weary of hearing about Transformers: Dark of the Moon, the good news is that less than one week remains until it hits multiplexes (in 3-D, no less). The bad news is that, until then, we must still endure the remaining media onslaught of vapid interviews from Rosie “Mood Lips” Huntington-Whiteley as well as the general trash talking coming from Michael Bay in relation to Megan Fox. Of course, Shia LeBeouf has also done his share of pish-poshing Fox, who (to her credit) has taken the high road (for once) and said nothing in response. Now, we must also endure Shia talking about himself to LA Times’ Hero Complex blog to promote this movie; please note that Shia is carefully toeing the line here in relation to both Bay and Spielberg:

On Not Always Getting Along With Michael Bay: Bay and his leading man were shooting an emotional sequence from the script’s third act on a shuttle launchpad at Cape Canaveral. To put himself in a somber frame of mind, LaBeouf plugged his iPod into some speakers and started playing a wistful ballad, Feist’s “Brandy Alexander.” “Yeah, it’s a little feminine, but it touches me,” LaBeouf says, starting to pepper his recollection with more expletives than are allowed in the PG-13 film. “I feel something when I hear it. … But Mike doesn’t want to listen to ‘Brandy Alexander’ under the rocket with 50 military dudes around.”

Bay unplugged the actor’s iPod, LaBeouf says, and replaced it with his own, cueing up the propulsive, orchestral The Dark Knight score. “I take him aside, I’m like, ‘Mike, this is the most important moment in the movie for me. The crux of my whole character, my whole arc. That doesn’t work for me, dude.’ … Now it’s two dudes ready to kill each other. … Spit’s flying.” According to LaBeouf, Bay left the set with the NASA/military entourage, and his director of photography finished shooting the sequence without him. (Bay declined to be interviewed for this piece.)

On His Mentor, Steven Spielberg: LaBeouf was handpicked by executive producer Steven Spielberg to be the human face of the Transformers franchise, which so far has grossed more than $1.5 billion worldwide; the third installment reaches theaters on 3-D screens Tuesday night, and opens wide on Wednesday. He was also the young heart of Spielberg’s 2008 Indiana Jones reboot, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, fulfilling the kind of relatable adventurer role Richard Dreyfuss did in 1970s Spielberg movies such as Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

“That’s a gift and a curse,” LaBeouf says, of being Spielberg’s 21st century hero. “Steven introduced me to the world in a way. The man has been incredible to me. But the work that I’ve done with him, the character variation is not heavy. It’s sort of all in the same vein. … I’ve gotta anchor these movies that are in these outrageous worlds, and I have to be as tangible as possible. … I have no problem with that, but I don’t want to be there forever.”

On His Post-Transformers Indie Movie: “When you’re a racehorse and you’ve got 20 trainers, all the trainers want the racehorse to run a certain way,” LaBeouf says. “What does the racehorse want to do? [The Wettest County in the World] is the first time they’ve ever asked the racehorse. I’ve been running for a team of people for a long time and I don’t take any of it back. … I’ve learned a great deal about a certain type of filmmaking. But I have ambitions toward another type of filmmaking that I haven’t been allowed to engage in yet.”

On His Checkered Past: In 2007, LaBeouf was arrested for refusing to leave a Chicago Walgreens (the store owner later dropped the charges). In 2008, he crashed his pickup truck, declining to take a Breathalyzer test at the scene of the accident and crushing his hand enough in the accident to require multiple surgeries. (The L.A. County district attorney’s office did not file charges due to insufficient evidence, but LaBeouf’s driver’s license was suspended for a year for his “refusing to take a chemical test.”) In February, police handcuffed the actor after he got in a fight in a Sherman Oaks bar. He was there with a group of his Echo Park friends when another patron recognized him, LaBeouf says (again, no charges were filed in the incident).

The same impulsiveness that inspired LaBeouf to ball his fists that night has also driven him to say some professionally reckless things, including telling reporters at the Cannes International Film Festival last year that he was unhappy with the fourth Indiana Jones movie.

LaBeouf says he has been warned by people he respects — including Spielberg — to watch his words in public and smooth some of his rough edges.

“The way Steven described it to me was, ‘When Tom Cruise walks outside his house, he doesn’t pick his nose. From the minute he leaves his door to the minute he comes back home, he doesn’t pick his nose.’ Now that’s a certain way to live your life that I have no ambitions toward.”

[From Hero Complex]

Most of this nonsense is just Shia attempting to convince the public that he has more substantial acting chops than the average action star. Only time will tell whether or not he’s correct on that issue, but what I really have a problem with is the difference in the way that Shia and Megan were treated after their respective bad behavior. Megan merely ran her mouth (admittedly, it was more like a case of verbal diarrhea) and was duly punished by Spielberg, who ordered Bay to fire her. Yet Shia also made some very unflattering statements about Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, and he additionally had a few run-ins with the law, yet Spielberg merely gave him some fatherly advice in response. That’s so typical of Hollywood, isn’t it? Punish the women for failing to keep their pretty little mouths shut, but give the men another chance, right?

Also, Shia looks really tiny here in comparison to the rather statuesque Rosie.

Photos courtesy of Fame

Let me state for the record that, until recently, I hadn’t taken Megan Fox’s side on, well, any issue whatsoever; and I will continue to think she was pretty injudicious to badmouth director Michael Bay in public and expect that she was such an indispensible asset to the Transformers franchise that she’d be able to keep her job. Still, I do feel a rather significant amount of pity for her — which began when Shia LeBeouf starting talking about Megan’s supposed “Spice Girl” brand of feminism — for the way she’s been treated during the promotional tour for Transformers: Dark of the Moon. In just the past couple of days, Bay has made things even worse by using Fox’s name (not just once but
twice) to promote the new movie even though she’s not even in it, which is pretty wrong no matter how you look at it. At the moment (or at least until Bay gives his next interview), however, Fox can look away from her troubles of the recent past, for she’s been signed to the latest Sacha Baron Cohen film:

Megan Fox and John C. Reilly are making cameos in Paramount’s The Dictator, the latest Sacha Baron Cohen comedy currently in production in New York with Borat director Larry Charles at the helm.

The movie has been described as “the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.” Cohen is said to play dual roles of a goat herder and a deposed foreign ruler who gets lost in the U.S.

Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley and Jason Mantzoukas are also in the movie, set for release May 11, 2012.

The Fox and Reilly roles are being kept under wraps.

For Fox, the part continues her entry into the comedy world. The Transformers star, who is the only actress in the top 20 of Facebook fan pages with more than 26 million followers, has made a shift away from the action world, recently shooting the ensemble comedic drama Friends With Kids, directed by Jennifer Westfelt and starring Kristen Wiig and Adam Scott, and booking a role in Judd Apatow’s latest project, This Is Forty, which shoots this summer.

[From Hollywood Reporter]

In other words, let’s not count Megan Fox out of the Hollywood spectrum just yet. Is it likely that she’ll be around for more than another year or two? Nope, but at the same time, it’s just gotta irritate Bay (and, presumably, Steven Spielberg as well) that Fox is still kicking around town. For that pleasure, it’s worth the price of admission to at least one of Fox’s upcoming movies, right? Maybe.

In related news, here’s a photo of Cohen (looking slightly hot, no?) on the New York City set of The Dictator.

And here’s the movie’s first official promo photo of Cohen in full regalia.

In conclusion, Megan Fox will always be the girl who foolishly got herself fired from Transformers: Dark of the Moon, but at least Megan can take comfort in the fact that Michael Bay always looks like a damn fool every time he smiles.

Photos courtesy of WENN; The Dictator promo photo courtesy of HuffPo

Yesterday, we had some quotes from Michael Bay, who seemed to have given an off-the-cuff remark that it wasn’t HIS call to fire Megan Fox from the Transformers franchise. In Michael’s words, “The Hitler thing. Steven [Spielberg] said, ‘Fire her right now.’” Which means that no matter what you think of Michael Bay (he’s a d-bag), Megan Fox is WAY worse, and she made a powerful enemy in Steven Spielberg. Anyway, GQ has answered one of the questions I had about Bay’s comments – Bay didn’t say this randomly, just to some British tabloid. It was pulled from an article/interview Bay did with GQ called “Blow-Up: An Oral History of the Most Explosive Director of All Time”. Sidenote: It’s one my peeves now, this “oral history” thing. First, I don’t think you should call something an “oral history” if it’s for a written article. Secondly, “oral history” is just being overused at this point. Instead of just saying “interview” everything is an “oral history” these days. AND GET OFF MY LAWN.

Anyway, GQ sent us an excerpt from their “oral history” of Michael Bay, and it seems like they’ve devoted a section to the Megan Fox Problem. You can read the full excerpt here at GQ, but here are the parts that interested me:

Before filming began on Michael Bay’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon, controversy struck. In an interview with the British magazine Wonderland, star Megan Fox said Bay “wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for.”

Ehren Kruger (screenwriter, Transformers series): She was there for rehearsals. But she seemed like an actress who didn’t want to be a part of it. She was saying she wanted to, but she wasn’t acting like it.

Michael Bay: She was in a different world, on her BlackBerry. You gotta stay focused. And you know, the Hitler thing. Steven [Spielberg] said, “Fire her right now.”

Shia LaBeouf: Criticism is one thing. Then there’s public name-calling, which turns into high school bashing. Which you can’t do. She started sh-t-talking our captain.

Bay: I wasn’t hurt, because I know that’s just Megan. Megan loves to get a response. And she does it in kind of the wrong way. I’m sorry, Megan. I’m sorry I made you work twelve hours. I’m sorry that I’m making you show up on time. Movies are not always warm and fuzzy. [Editors note: Fox declined to comment for this article.]

Ian Bryce (producer, Transformers series): On the plus side of the column, Rosie has done an enormously wonderful job for being a newcomer.

Bay: Listen, I mean, Rosie came in and she would say hello to the crew. She would acknowledge the crew. She’d say thank you.

Julie White (actor, Transformers series): I texted [Megan] and was like, “Come back, Lassie!” Because I think she’s magic. She is the My Little Pony of Transformers.

[From GQ]

Megan Fox = the My Little Pony of Transformers? OMG, don’t give Michael Bay any more ideas! Next thing you know, he’ll be blowing up CGI My Little Ponies voiced by Megan Fox and Frances McDormand.

Bay really digs the knife in, doesn’t he? I’ve felt for a while now – after one of you lovely commenters pointed it out – that Megan and Michael’s public bickering is more like a foreplay fight than an actual battle royale. Michael and Megan like to pick at each other publicly, but there’s a difference in their approaches. Michael came from a point of view of “I’m the boss, she’s the young, inexperienced actress that I handpicked, and she’s just some dumb brat in the end.” Megan’s point of view was “I’m a huge movie star and I can do whatever I want and people just have to take it because I’m too important.”

It sounds like Bay is happy with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, though. Because she actually acknowledges the crew, is general polite and pleasant, and doesn’t act like a spoiled brat? Sure. But I think there’s part of Bay (don’t ask which part) that’s still interested in needling Fox.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

As we get closer to the release of the new Transformers film, many people have been discussing how Megan Fox’s replacement, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, looks even WORSE than Megan Fox. While Megan will never be confused as a good actress or even a nominally intelligent person, in the clips that we’ve seen of Rosie, she looks absolutely awful, actress-wise. Some have been giving credit to Megan: at least she was watchable, I guess? For me, I can give Megan credit for being watchable, but only in the way that you watch a car crash. I remember all of the dumb crap Megan Fox has said over the years. She is severely stupid, and she is epically unprofessional, like the time she compared Michael Bay to Adolf Hitler. For real. If she didn’t have a legion of fan-boys drooling over her, Megan would have been thrown out of Hollywood long ago.

Anyway, the sleazy, gross director of the Transformers films, Michael Bay, has a new story about why Megan Fox left the franchise. For a while, we played a game of “Was Megan pushed or did she jump?” and it basically came down to “both”. Megan wanted out of the franchise that made her a household name, and it was assumed that Michael Bay – and the crew, who wrote an angry open letter to Fox – wanted Fox gone too. Bay now says that it’s not on him: Steven Spielberg was the one who ordered Bay to fire Fox. And it was all about those Hitler comments.

Steven Spielberg demanded Megan Fox be fired from the latest Transformers film after she insulted its director, it has been revealed. The Hollywood legend was outraged after the screen beauty compared Michael Bay to Hitler during a press interview. The 25-year-old actress was quickly dumped from the film and replaced by British model Rosie Huntingdon-Whitley.

Fox had tried to claim she left the third in the series of the films to pursue other acting opportunities. But ahead of the July 4 premiere of Transformers 3 director Bay has revealed for the first time he was told to get rid of the actress.

He said: ‘You know the Hitler thing. Steven (Spielberg) said, fire her right now.’

Spielberg is executive producer of the film which stars Shia LaBeouf. Fox had appeared in the first two Transformers films and the roles helped her be named one of the sexiest women in the world. She had been cast in the third film but shortly before production began she gave an interview to the British magazine Wonderland.

In it she said Bay wanted to be like Hitler on his sets. Other crew members from the film hit back on a blog comparing Fox’s acting to that of a porn star.

In an open letter posted on Michael Bay’s website the crew member wrote: ‘Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses’ life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina – second thought – she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelina is a professional. We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies.’

The film’s screenwriter Ehren Kruger told GQ magazine that Fox didn’t seem interested when she arrived for rehearsals for Transformers: Dark of the Moon. He said: ‘She seemed like an actress who didn’t want to be part of it.’

LaBeouf told GQ:’ She started s*** talking our captain. Which you can’t do.’

Bay said he wasn’t hurt by the Hitler comment.

[From The Mail]

Is this just Michael Bay trying to abdicate responsibility because Rosie’s bad acting is about to blow up in his face? Or is Bay just being a truth-teller and letting us know that Steven Spielberg thinks Megan Fox is offensively stupid too? Probably a little bit of both. It wouldn’t surprise me if Spielberg – the executive producer of a franchise that has made a ridiculous amount of money for DreamWorks – was the one to make the final call on letting Megan go. And if this is case, Megan made an extremely powerful enemy in Spielberg.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Since the females of the Transformers franchise are meant to be disposable in nature, it’s sort of amazing that anyone is even bothering to compare Rosie Huntington-Whitely to her predecessor, Megan Fox. Still, it’s pretty obvious that whereas Megan was willing to throw Michael Bay under the bus at any opportunity, Rosie is just dumber than a slab of freshly poured concrete. Last week, Kaiser called Rosie out for presenting herself as the next Angelina Jolie; and many of you responded to this interview by stating that, in comparison to Rosie, Megan Fox shall be sorely missed.

Well, Shia LeBeouf (and his banana) would like us all to know that Fox was anything but missed on the set of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Although I’m not entirely sure if Shia meant to insult Fox to the degree that it ends up happening in this quote, so I’m going to leave this one wide open to your interpretation:

Huntington-Whiteley is equipped for Bay’s brusque shooting style in a way that Fox (who in the media likened her director’s on-set behavior to Napoleon and Hitler) was not, according to LaBeouf.

“Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women,” LaBeouf said. “Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael’s style. And I think [Fox] never got comfortable with it. This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it. When Mike would ask her to do specific things, there was no time for fluffy talk. We’re on the run. And the one thing Mike lacks is tact. There’s no time for [LaBeouf assumes a gentle voice] ‘I would like you to just arch your back 70 degrees.’”

Huntington-Whiteley, on the other hand, must have arched her back just right when Bay shot her in a Victoria’s Secret ad in 2009, because months after Fox’s trash-talking peaked, the director cut the actress’ character, Mikaela Banes, from the third Transformers movie and replaced her with the newcomer.

“Rosie comes with this Victoria’s Secret background, and she’s comfortable with it, so she can get down with Mike’s way of working and it makes the whole set vibe very different,” LaBeouf said.

[From Hero Complex]

Wow. Shia certainly couldn’t have been serious about “female empowerment” bit if there was a certain word (“sh-t,” most likely) that the editors felt necessary to redact. Further, the Spice Girls analogy to feminism is a complete joke, so I’m pretty sure that Shia was saying that Fox saw herself as a hopeful but ultimately disastrous crusader for female rights or some [redacted]. Ultimately, Shia’s probably being a bit too harsh for no reason, since Fox is already gone from the franchise and won’t be back. Why pull her through the muck any longer?

Let this not be a statement that I feel sorry for Megan Fox because publicly badmouthing one’s boss and expecting to keep your job is, well, a bit presumptuous to say the very least. Fox was wrong to behave that way, and if she had so many problems with working under the direction of Michael Bay, then she shouldn’t have been working for him at all. Fox had already worked with Bay on the set of Bad Boys 2, so she knew what she was getting into. My feelings are that Fox really saw herself as placed upon such a lofty perch that she couldn’t possibly face negative consequences for talking trash about her boss in front of the rest of the world. As she quickly learned, she wasn’t indispensible but then again, virtually no one is irreplaceable in any job. Rosie seems much more willing to play Bay’s game though, so she might be around for awhile.

Movie stills courtesy of AllMoviePhoto

About a month ago, we discussed model-turned-actress Rosie Huntington-Whitely in terms of being better or worse than Megan Fox in the newest Transformers trailer, which sparked a bit of a discussion in the comments about how unfair it is to compare Rosie’s acting abilities to those of Fox. However, it’s fairly clear (at least from the cover of Complex magazine’s June issue) that Rosie is angling for the same sort of simpering sex-kitten vibe that Fox pulled off so well before she opened her mouth and ruined it all. Visually, Rosie and her upper lip manage this task to the same degree as Fox.

Now, it’s time for a cursory analysis of the accompanying Complex interview, which attempts to fashion Rosie as a down-home farmgirl and an “accidental” model even though purposely put her foot in the agency door by applying for a booker position. Now, she’s not only a Victoria’s Secret Angel but also the latest interchangeable female lead actress in the Transformers franchise. As expected, Rosie is pretty vacant headed, but she takes great care to avoid the mistakes of her predecessor by not referring to Michael Bay as “like Hitler.” Still, Rosie ups the ante on Fox by not even recognizing names of some prominent Transformers toys:

Do you think Transformers role-play when they have sex?
Do I think they role-play when they have sex? [Laughs.] What, like Bumblebee and Optimus Prime? No! ‘Cause there’s no lady Transformers!

Yes there are.
I don’t know. It’s not in the movies. They’re all males. No, I don’t reckon they do. I don’t think they have sex.

How’s working with Michael Bay?
Michael was great. We shot a commercial in 2009 for Victoria’s Secret, that’s where we met. Then he sent me an email last summer. He said, “I’d like to put you on tape for this role for Transformers.” I figured it was going to be a small role, or an extra. I didn’t jump on the idea, but I believe you should always take a meeting, so I went to the casting and went on tape. A couple days later, Michael sent me a message saying, “We want you for the female lead, is that something you’d consider?” I met Shia that evening, then a week later I was doing a screen test, and two weeks after that I was doing my first scene. So it happened really, really quick.

Do you have any insight as to how that role opened up?
Well, the character Carly is Sam’s new girlfriend, and she’s a British girl. She’s a new character so I got to really put my stamp on it.

Right, but what happened to Megan Fox?
That’s a question for the filmmakers. I haven’t given it much thought.

Have you ever heard of Unicron?
Unicron? No. What is it?

It’s a Transformer.
Is it? Unicron! Don’t test me on Transformers!

Are you a fast runner?
Yeah, I had to get really fast for this role. We closed down all these major streets in Chicago. We shut them down for weeks at a time, and I had to run, a lot, and in heels.

What is the line between high art and pornography?
When does a nude shot go from being artistic to being pornographic? I don’t know how to politely say it, but I suppose when you start to see the insides of the female or male. [Laughs.] But it’s all in the eye of the beholder, right?

Can you do impressions?
Yeah, I can do impressions. I can do an Australian accent. I can do a good Southern accent.

Let’s hear it.
[Beaming.] Hi, Ms. Rosie, y’all lookin’ pretty today. Y’all better be eatin’ up in New York City.

In modeling, does it take time to become comfortable with your body?
Well, it’s a day-to-day thing. I don’t feel comfortable in my body today at all. Any woman will tell you she has her good and bad days, and today I did not feel like I looked my best or felt radiant inside or outside.

[From Complex]

Eh. There’s a lot more of the interview, including a substantial portion wherein Rosie describes what it’s like to learn how to walk like a model after growing up on a farm and killing pheasants and chickens, but it’s such a standard “rise to fame” story that it’s well worth ignoring. As far as the impression she gives off in one of her first press engagements as a Transformers babe, Rosie’s not nearly as offensive as Fox, but just give her some time, and she’ll be talking about lesbian tendencies and orchestrating faux-breakups from boyfriend Jason Statham during every press tour. Once again, here’s the Transformers: Dark of the Moon theatrical trailer, wherein the robots outact the lead actress:

Photoshoot courtesy of Complex

In the scope of this gossip website, very few of you probably care about Transformers: Dark of the Moon as an action movie. What really matters here is the rightful absence of Megan “Trash Talking” Fox, who got herself fired (although she says she quit) from a very lucrative franchise and, let’s face it, the best break of her career. Of course, the entire Tranformers franchise is merely amplified popcorn fare, but slo-mo boobs are really the extent of Fox’s talent. So after disinfecting Fox’s newly-vacated set trailer, Michael Bay recruited a new vacant bobblehead, Rosie Huntington-Whitely (a Victoria’s Secret model that appeared in one of the Bay-directed commercials), who was only too happy to wash Bay’s Ferrari and even put some extra plumping into that upper lip of hers just for the occasion of filming:

As far as the trailer is concerned, Whitely is ridiculously glamour-trashy as the love interest of Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf), who could never score a pimped-out, collagen-filled babe like that in the real world. Then again, Sam couldn’t have scored Fox’s Mikaela Banes either, but at least Fox looked less plastic in the first two Transformer movies than she does these days. What truly bothers me about this trailer, however, is that we get just a brief glimpse of Francis McDormand but no peek at John Malkovich. C’mon Bay, you’ve gotta give a little something to the ladies too.

Movie stills courtesy of AllMoviePhoto and Apple