Here we go with Michael Lohan’s attempt to smear the woman he victimized for two years. Yesterday we heard that Erin Muller, who dated the despicable dad for two years, had filed court papers listing multiple incidents in which Lohan had abused her including dates and details. Lohan allegedly kicked Muller in the privates, beat her about the face, and threatened to kill her on many occasions. Of course Lohan didn’t stay quiet and had to issue one of his media-speak denials that just makes him look more guilty. He called Muller’s claims “a desperate attempt to dismiss the allegations against her.” Those “allegations” are that Muller once kicked Lohan in the head. Compare that to the severe ongoing abuse he likely subjected her to and she looks like a saint.

Along with denying Muller’s laundry list of abuse, Lohan has released an audio tape of what sounds like a heated fight with Muller. Radar Online has a 30 second clip and Muller is really upset and screaming at Lohan. I can’t hear everything she’s saying, but what I do understand isn’t that damning. She’s basically yelling at him for taping her. Lohan is calm and collected but that doesn’t mean he’s not about to haul off and hit her, and maybe she knows that. Plus it’s only 30 seconds and it’s not like we know whether she was raging longer. She seems to calm down toward the end of the tape.

Michael Lohan is getting revenge on his ex-fiancee, Erin Muller, the one way he knows how –by releasing an embarrassing audio tape.

RadarOnline.com has obtained the exclusive audio, a recording Lohan made during a fight with Muller. On the tape you can hear her screaming and cursing at Lohan, who seems to remain pretty calm throughout, possibly because he’s taping the whole thing.

At one point, Muller rips into Lohan, screaming, “if you’re that pathetic that you need a f***ing tape recorder, because everyone knows the s*** you are.”

Other highlights include Muller hollering, “I thought you said you were going to f***ing castrate me!”

Erin Muller filed court documents in Nassau County, NY on Monday, asking the court to drop Lohan’s harassment allegations against her.

[From Radar Online]

Michael Lohan is such a double-crossing abusive assh*le. He seems to have betrayed everyone he’s ever befriended including his family, his onetime-buddy Jon Gosselin, and the girlfriend who put up with his sh*t for two years. He’s only giving us a lot of information about his pathetic life and the manipulative violent way he treats people he’s close to. The sad thing is that he’s getting paid for it.

It seems like we’re hearing so many disturbing abuse stories this holiday. New court papers by his ex girlfriend allege that Michael Lohan is an scary physically abusive creep along with the double-crossing ass that he’s publicly known as. Erin Muller, who dated Michael Lohan for around two years, has a restraining order against him. When Muller had Lohan arrested for violating that order, he retaliated by filing harassment charges against her for an incident last month in which he claims she kicked him in the head. In response, Muller has filed a laundry list of Lohan’s abuse, and it’s pretty chilling. It sounds like Lohan regularly used physical violence and threats of murder as a means of control.

Erin Muller filed court documents in Nassau County, NY yesterday, asking the court to drop Michael’s harassment allegations against her … and in doing so, paints Michael as a serial woman-beater.

According to the documents, Erin claims Michael physically abused her on the following dates…

Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan “slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her a fake watch on her birthday.

Feb. 2008: Michael “punched Erin in the mouth” because she had a male friend on Facebook

March 2008: Michael “whipped a computer cord” at her face but she blocked it with her hand … causing a laceration.

May 5, 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the ribs.”

May 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain.”

June 2008: Michael “spit in Erin’s face, and beat her repeatedly with his fist.” Then he “yelled at her to ‘stop crying c*nt — other people will see you — if they see you, I will kill you!’”

And the list goes on and on.

[From TMZ]

TMZ doesn’t have the court document online yet but if it’s ever available I’ll be sure to read it. You know that Michael is going to issue some obnoxious statement about how Erin is lying and trying to hide the fact that she abused him and not the other way around. He kind of alluded to himself as the wronged party in a recent comment to the NY Post about the tons of back child support he owes.

“Court papers indicate [that] Dina claims it is $15,000 not $40,000.” Plus, he said, “Dina received a lot of cash from me as well as commissions on business deals I executed, which she fails to mention . . . we will straighten this out in the next few weeks and start the new year on a positive note. Regardless of what Dina says or what happened, I respect her and will always love her as the mother of my children and a special person. She is a breath of fresh air after what I have gone through over the past two years.”

[From The NY Post]

What he went through “over the past two years.” His girlfriend was so much trouble that he had to beat her repeatedly and threaten to kill her in order to keep her in line. I guess it’s not surprising that this news is coming out about Mr. Lohan. He did spend almost two years in jail for separate DUI and assault charges. I never pegged him as a woman beater though. Doesn’t this abusive behavior violate his probation somehow? I think it warrants another stay in jail, far away from the phone and e-mail.

Photos are of Michael Lohan, Erin Muller and Jon Gosselin on 7/25/09. Credit: WENN.com. Michael and Erin are also shown on 4/1/09. Credit: WENN.com/Fayesvision

Lindsay Lohan’s mom has started a website called “Lohan House” as an easily mocked way to sell the family’s castoffs online, many at a hefty price. It looks like the Lohans are hurting after those reality show checks dried up. Along with selling old clothing, shoes and purses, LohanHouse.com has a “news” section that is both undated and out of date. The site makes references to the Lohan’s reality show on E!, “Living Lohan,” as if it’s still going on despite the fact that it ended over a year ago. Dina even claimed this summer that the show ended because E! wanted her to fake a pregnancy.

In “Lohan House” the Lohans are still relevant, Lindsay is still getting work and “Living Lohan” is still on the air. Coupled with their unwanted luxury goods, the dubious Lohan “news” is enough to make you feel a tinge sorry for the youngest Lohans: Ali, 15, and Cody, 13. (There’s also Michael Lohan, Jr., 21, a student at Ithaca College who Jezebel calls “refreshingly normal” and Lindsay of course. Anyone that’s no longer a teenager can fend for themselves in that family, and they obviously do.)

One Lohan not welcome at “Lohan House” is absent dad Michael. Michael had some drama of his own this weekend when he was reportedly thrown in jail in Medford, NY for phoning his ex girlfriend, Erin Muller, who has a restraining order against him. Under the terms of the restraining order, Michael is to have no contact with Muller. According to Michael, though, he was never arrested and didn’t spend time in jail. He told Radar “I was not arrested. Erin and I had an argument. She has an ongoing order of protection against me. She called and said I violated it by making a phone call to her. I went down there today and saw the judge and I handled it and that was it.” Law enforcement sources told Radar that he was arrested, and was “picked up, processed and released.”

Michael “I tape all my phone calls” Lohan is no stranger to the inside of a jail cell. He served nearly two years in jail on multiple DUI and assault charges and was released in March, 2007. It looks like the guy is getting bored after selling all his phone tapes of his daughter crying for help and his ex buddy Jon Gosselin confiding in him. He needs to find another stupid reality star to befriend and exploit. I hear those “Jersey Shore” kids are looking for a father figure.

Radar Online caught up with one of Jon Gosselin’s old hookups, former Star reporter Kate Major, outside her deposition in the case against Jon by TLC. Major went running to several media outlets in August after Jon Gosselin denied having a relationship with her. She was more composed in some interviews than others, but seemed like a mess overall and was crying that Jon convinced her to quit her job at the tabloid in order to work as his personal assistant. Major and Gosselin were together a whole 12 days, but not before she quit her job for him – total. She eventually showed a handwritten note from Jon prominising her a job and said that she would potentially sue him for breach of contract.

Major told Radar Online in a video posted today that her lawyers were exploring options as to whether she would sue Jon, and added that he “messed with the wrong girl.” We can’t embed her video here, but you can watch it on Radar.com. Poor Kate looks like she’s aged five years since this summer and she looks really tired and worn. She also seemed like she’d had a drink or three to get through the rough day. She was supposedly 26 over the summer, but she looks at least 10-15 years older. She joked that there was a contract with Jon and that it was not on a cocktail napkin and that she had a copy and everything.

Kate Major is finally spilling the intimate details of her relationship with Jon Gosselin. Following her deposition this week in the TLC breach of contract case against Gosselin, Major spoke to RadarOnline.com exclusively. She revealed why she fell for him and talked about her own business contract with him.

Major called her deposition “pretty intense. I told the truth, I have nothing to hide.”

Exclusive Video Interview: Michael Lohan Tells TLC How Jon Cashed In

She admitted that she fell for Jon because she believed in him and felt he had a good work ethic. “I really felt it would work out for us,” she told RadarOnline.com.

Major revealed that both she and Jon signed a contract stating that she would quit her job as a Star magazine reporter and work solely for him. “It was a mutual agreement,” she told RadarOnline.com. “And it was not on a napkin. Jon and I both had a copy. It was the same copy that was signed and dated that we both drew up together.”

When asked if she was going through with plans to sue Jon for breach of contract, Major told us her lawyers are exploring all options.

But when pressed to say whether she would sue Gosselin if it was up to her, Major replied slyly, “Oh, you betcha! He messed with the wrong girl!”

[From Radar]

Between Kate Major and Michael “I tape all my calls” Lohan TLC will have plenty of ammunition to successfully sue to tight pants off Jon Gosselin. He’ll be left hustling for appearances for three figures at local bingo halls. Doesn’t this Kate with her comically frosted hair, blue eyeshadow and sparkly pink lipstick kind of look like Kate Gosselin? All of Jon’s other girlfriends have been brunettes. Maybe he would have kept Major around if she wasn’t so crazy and blond like his wife.

You may have heard the rumor that Michael Lohan, via Twitter, was threatening to kill himself. Rest assured, the esteemed Lohan family patriarch is alive and well, and assures various concerned media outlets that there’s someone out there on Twitter pretending to be him. Considering how out-of-this-world on-the-ball the Dina Lohan fake Twitterer was, it’s no surprise someone eventually pretended to be Michael. Really, the only surprising thing is that it took so long. Nonetheless, Michael is alive and well. Depending on your definition of “well.”

Michael Lohan doesn’t exactly have a history of verbal restraint, so when a Twitter account named @themichaellohan began writing snippets about family drama and wanting to jump off of the Brooklyn Bridge, entertainment bloggers across the Web figured it was the real deal. Thankfully, it seems the Tweets — like the one that read: “fiance just left me. my family hates me, i spent Thanksgiving with my mom i just cant do any of this any more” — were all bogus, and the father of Lindsay Lohan is still with us. All the Details After the Jump >>

Word of the alleged suicide pleas began to spread on Sunday evening, with sites like Gawker.com and AllieIsWired all jumping on the story. In the Tweets, which have since been erased from the Twitter page, “Lohan” said: “death of father put me in a black hole IDK what to do” and that he was “heading to the brooklyn bridge.” He even sent one to Lindsay’s Twitter account, writing: “@lindsaylohan, love you b ye.” To see all of the now-vanished Tweets, visit AllieIsWired.

[From PopEater]

I’ve got to say, while suicide is never ever funny, it is especially awful that the fake Twitterer sent that message to Lindsay’s real Twitter account. While Michael Lohan is fun to mock, at no point was this particular form of mockery funny or in any way appropriate. But can you imagine if you were Lindsay and you got that Tweet? That is so over the line, and maybe one of the few times I’ve ever had any empathy for Lohans.

Michael wrote to Shabooty.com:

This is not not not me. I do not have and never had a twitter and twitters corp office confirms that. My lawyers r investigating

[From Shabooty]

So that’s that. Looking for an appropriate way to mock a Lohan? How about Shoe-Han?

Screencap thanks to Allie Is Wired. Here’s Michael with former BFF Jon Gosselin playing with their man toys in Reading, PA on October 11th. Images thanks to INF Photo.

Life and Style is reporting that Lindsay Lohan may have finally taken an important step towards not dying. I’m not going to say towards getting her life back together because that’s a long road for her. But she may have at least decided to take an important first step: according to the magazine, she’s in counseling. They also claim that Michael Lohan releasing all those mortifying tapes of Lindsay is what got her to do something. And they’re giving him credit. A truly chilling thought.

Lindsay Lohan’s father has won the battle to get his daughter into counseling – the actress is reportedly meeting with a mentor up to three times a week.

Michael Lohan leaked taped recordings of phone calls he’d had with his daughter in a last-ditch bid to get her to enter rehab and kick an alleged addiction to prescription drugs. The plan backfired when Lohan and his ex-wife Dina staged a public campaign to vilify the worried dad for his actions. He has since promised not to leak anymore recordings.

However, it seems his efforts have driven Lindsay to a counselor.

A source tells Life & Style magazine, “She goes two, sometimes three times a week. This is not a program or substance-abuse counselor or police officer watching over her; it’s someone to talk to in a confidential state.”

“She knows, and everyone knows, this is a huge stepping-stone for her – get in there, talk to someone, figure out what’s going on and then try to fix it. First comes the diagnosis.”

[From Starpulse]

I can give you a diagnosis right now: cray-to-the-Z. I wonder what axis that goes on in the DSM-IV? There’s probably a whole separate Lohan section in there. If this story is true – and let’s keep in mind, the original source is Life and Style, so it should be taken with a grain of salt – but if it’s true, it’s hard to wonder if it was worth it. There are so many better, more mature, parental, rationale, supportive ways to get your messed up child some help. Publicly embarrassing her and releasing all sorts of super private information is not the way to do it. The relationship between Lindsay and Michael – whatever it was – will never be healed now. It likely never would have been anyway, but now there’s no chance. He’s proven without a doubt that there is nothing he won’t do.

But if Lindsay is in counseling, at least that’s something. I’m not saying in any way that Michael did what was right or what he had to do. It’s inexcusable. So I’m going to pretend that if Lindsay’s in rehab, it’s because she came to some realizations all on her own, completely apart from Michael. Because he absolutely should not get what he wants as a reward for behaving that way.

Michael Lohan has said in the past that he’s no longer friends with Jon Gosselin after Gosselin cut him out of deals he was trying to broker for him.

Lohan is one of the witnesses subpoenaed to potentially testify in TLC’s case against Jon for breeching his contract. He seems to have an axe to grind along with being an all-around asshole with no sense of loyalty to anyone, especially his own family. When you talk to Michael Lohan, you can assume he’s recording every word for when he inevitably has a beef with you. We’ve heard Michael’s secretly recorded phone tapes of his daughter literally crying for help and his ex wife saying Lindsay needed to go to rehab. Now Lohan is leaking phone calls to Radar Online that show the many ways that Gosselin knowingly violated his contract with TLC.

Yesterday Radar posted a tape between Michael Lohan and Gosselin’s manager. The two were talking about all the deals they were working out for Jon. There was a deal with In Touch for which the manager got $5,000, and since he said Lohan’s take was 20% I would assume that his percentage was similar and that the deal was for six figures. (It’s unclear if Heller’s percentage is also 20%, but if so the deal would have been worth $100,000.) I’m pretty sure they’re talking about Jon’s In Touch cover story in August “I’m Tired of Being Blamed.” Jon’s manager Michael Heller also claimed he was working out a deal with E! for $75,000. An E! interview in August was canceled by Jon at the last minute, with rumors at the time that TLC had forced Jon to pull out. I think we can assume that this conversation was recorded in August given those two deals, which was when Lohan and Gosselin were still hanging out.

Radar also has another conversation between Jon and Michael in which they talk about the deals they’re working out. Jon mentions his exclusivity clause with TLC and seems to know that he’s violating it because he says “yeah, we’re f’cked.”

He also claims TLC got paid in side deals for two interviews with his family, in People and Good Housekeeping, a claim the network denies. Gosselin says with the faux outrage he’s so good at conjuring when it suits him “I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it.” He’s referring to the magazine profiles, not the show, because he said this right after he complained that “they struck side deals [with People and Good Housekeeping] and none of that money went to my kids.” This is ironic coming from a guy who took out a couple hundred grand from his joint checking account. It’s also pretty hypocritical from someone who willingly let his kids get videotaped for years but then complains about pedophiles when they’re in a magazine spread they don’t get paid for.

I could go on, but I’ll spare you. If you’re interested you can hear the tapes on Radar online. The bottom line is that TLC has a ton of material to use against Jon, thanks to his former good buddy Michael Lohan. Jon’s lawyer is a hack and I doubt he’ll successfully defend him against such good evidence.

Jon Gosselin is shown on 11/20/09 at LAX. Credit: MAC/Fame Pictures

Over the weekend, the NY Daily News’s Rush & Malloy had an interview with the former owner of Scores in Manhattan. From what I gather, Scores is a relatively high-end, no-nonsense strip joint, bar and restaurant. The guy, Elliot Osher, was reflecting back on all of the celebrities who came into his establishment, who was cool, and who was not so cool. Some are unexpected. Like… John F. Kennedy Jr., who was interviewed at Scores once by Ann Landers. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore came, I suppose back when they were married. Osher claims Bruce and Demi “treated everyone as equals”.

The grossest and most shocking revelation is that Michael Lohan was once a customer… and he asked for strippers that looked like Lindsay. My gag reflex is tickling. Of course, Michael is denying that he asked for Lindsay-stripper clones, saying “I don’t even look at the magazines where she’s done some risqué photos.” Ugh. It totally gets worse too:

Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Russell Crowe and other celebs may not recall exactly what they did at Scores during the strip club’s thong-snapping, Champagne-drenched, mob-tainted heyday. But former owner Elliot Osher can help them remember.

For 18 years, since he started as a bouncer, Osher kept notes on anyone famous who walked into either of Scores’ two Manhattan locations.

Madonna allegedly stiffed the staff. Bill Gates left a $3,500 tip. Bernie Madoff “wanted a private room.” Bill Maher was an “obnoxious p-.” Russell Crowe “almost got in a fight with an Irish waiter.” Demi Moore and Bruce Willis “treated everyone as equals.”

Osher rattles off other patrons: “Michael Jordan, Howard Stern, Donald Trump, 50 Cent, George Clooney, Eli Manning, Drew Barrymore, Magic Johnson, Christina Aguilera, Jason Giambi, Richard Branson, Charles Barkley, Sean Penn, Diddy, Steven Tyler, Mickey Rourke, Ann Landers …”

Ann Landers? The advice columnist?

“Yeah, she interviewed John Kennedy Jr. while girls danced around him.”

Osher has more than 400 names on his list, which will serve as the spine of a book he’s working on.

“Lindsay Lohan’s father once sat down and described the kind of dancer he was looking for,” says Osher. “We sent some girls over. Funny, they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door.”

Michael Lohan admits getting into an “altercation,” but maintains, “No girls danced for me. The last thing I’d want to see is a girl who looked like Lindsay. I don’t even look at the magazines where she’s done some risqué photos.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t remember,” insists Osher, adding: “The next week, Lindsay wanted to meet the girls who’d danced for her dad.”

James Gandolfini stopped by to do “research” for his role as Tony Soprano, owner of the Bada Bing club.

“A couple of wanna-be wiseguys didn’t like him,” Osher says. “They would talk about how they were going to rough him up – just so they could say they slapped around Tony Soprano. Gandolfini’s friend [actor/Hells Angel] Chuck Zito put the kibosh on that.

“There was one tough-guy actor who played a goodfella,” says Osher. “He’d come in, get all coked up, and the next thing you knew, he was dressed like a broad. He’d come out of one of the party rooms wearing lipstick and a dancer’s outfit.”

Osher also has tales to tell about “ambassadors we threw out” and “some Wall Street guys [who] could spend $600,000 in a night.”

“Scores epitomized the excesses of America,” says Osher’s co-writer, George Anastasia, whose proposal is being shopped by Literary Group agent Frank Weimann. “It was a time when the financial derivatives were as fake as the girls’ breasts, but nobody seemed to care.”

[From Rush & Malloy]

Ah, strip clubs. Does anyone else feel like they need a shower? Now, as far as the Lindsay and Michael thing… I feel disgusting even saying this, but this has the whiff of truth, doesn’t it? Did anyone else have one of Oprah’s “aha!” moments, where all of sudden there was yet another disgusting, horrible reason for Lindsay’s cracked-out mess of a life? And for Lindsay to go in after Michael and request to see the same strippers? I have constant shivers over this family. It’s like the tabloid version of a V.C. Andrews novel.

Lindsay is shown out on 11/12/09. Credit: VAH/Fame Pictures

These are pictures of Lindsay arriving to a Hollywood Hills “party” at 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning. Seriously. I hope I don’t sound like too much of an old fart, but that’s just wrong. When I was a teenager, I could pull that kind of all-nighter stuff in general, but I have never, ever, ever gone to a party at 4:30 a.m. But apparently, Lindsay is up for it. She’s not only up for it, she went to this party after spending the previous hours clubbing at Voyeur. Where she probably threw a tantrum over paying for her drinks.

Oh, yes. Last week, Fox News carried a story
about Lindsay trying to pawn her bar bill off onto Kellan Lutz. When handed a bill, she apparently told the waitress to just put it on Kellan’s credit card without telling him. While I didn’t doubt the story, People Magazine is now running a different, even sketchier version. Note: I’m not sure if the incident described is from the same night, or if this is an entirely different night where Lindsay threw another tantrum over paying her bill:

Lohan, 23, was partying at the Crown Bar in Los Angeles Nov. 6, and, according to one onlooker, caused quite a scene when asked to ante up for her drinks.

“Lindsay stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of really expensive champagne. She finished both bottles with a friend. When the bartender gave her a bill, she had a meltdown,” says the source. “She was yelling at him and screaming profanities at everyone. The bar insisted she pay, so she had to call a friend with her credit-card information.”

Before the actress left the club around 2:30 a.m., the onlooker says, “She was crying and wanted to go home. She kept saying ‘I don’t pay for drinks! This is ridiculous! I’m freaking out!’ “

[From People]

You know it’s bad when People Magazine is calling Lindsay on her bullsh-t. That’s the beginning of the end. By the way, what world does Lindsay Lohan live in, where she not only thinks everyone should give her free drinks, but she actually cries and whines when they don’t give her free drinks? My guess is that world is called “Marguaritaville”. Probably right next to Crackheadburg. Two exits after Adderall Township.

Speaking of which, apparently on one of Lindsay’s crackhead adventures last week, she ran into her old friend/lover Courtenay Semel. Courtenay actually came out publicly several weeks ago and wrote one of several “open letters” to Lindsay about how Lohan needs to go to rehab, stat. Courtenay’s last rehab visit finally stuck, and now she wants Lindsay to go as well. In the letter, Courtenay talked about how Lindsay needs to go away for six months, find God and sobriety, and leave her 15 year old sister Ali the hell alone (more on Ali in a minute). Apparently, when Lindsay and Courtenay ran into each other at mutual friend Brittny Gastineau’s birthday party last week, Courtenay said all of that to Lindsay’s face. Lindsay started crying and threw a tantrum, predictably. Good try, Courtenay!

Now, onto Ali Lohan. Apparently, while in Los Angeles, Lindsay has been staying in hotels and she’s forcing her little sister to stay with her. Like, in her bed. A source tells Fox News 411 that Lindsay thinks making Ali come and stay with her is a way of “protecting” Ali. Christ.

As Lindsay Lohan’s father continues to leak private phone calls to the media, the troubled star is turning to her 14-year-old support as her sole support system.

“Lindsay lives out of a lot of hotels these days and if her sister, Ali is staying with her, Lindsay wants her to sleep in the same room,” a friend of Lindsay’s tells Fox411. “She’ll get two rooms, but put all the clothes and luggage in one room. She needs the support and love that having Ali around gives her. Having Ali by her side gives her comfort and she likes to think she is also protecting Ali.”

And while Lindsay hardly seems to be in a position to protect anyone, perhaps her instincts are for good reason. In the latest leaked conversation from Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s mother Dina discusses the status of Lindsay’s cutting/self-mutilation habits.

“The release of all the audio tapes has been terrible for Lindsay. She will never trust her father again and she’s had to handle a lot of it on her own.”

To add insult to injury, things with ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson don’t seem to be going according to Lohan’s plans either.

“Lindsay is going through a lot right now and she and Sam are more distant than ever,” our source revealed. “She and Sam still speak, but Sam is working on other projects and is even doing a remix of some Good Charlotte music, which ties her further to Nicole Richie. Lindsay and Nicole no longer speak, but she wants Sam to be happy so she trying to let it go.”

[From Fox News 411]

One last note about the Lohan family: Michael Lohan has been accused of “skipping out on a promise to raise money for people with special needs.” The director of Family Residences and Essential Enterprises (a Long Island charity that helps special-needs families) claims that Michael was going to participate in a charity boxing match, the proceeds of which would go to FREE, but that Michael “didn’t show up”. The director, Jeff Cohen, took to Page Six to call Michael a “famewhore” and questions Michael’s manhood. Well done. Who hasn’t the Lohan family offended?

Here’s Lindsay arriving at that Hollywood Hills party at 4:30 AM Sunday morning, November 15, 2009. Credit: WENN.

Another day, another tape release from Michael Lohan to Radar. Yesterday was the bigger bombshell, in my opinion – a tape where Dina claimed that Lindsay had been dating/hooking up/doing drugs with Heath Ledger around the time of his death. Today’s exclusive recording is of Dina and Michael discussing how Lindsay is a cutter. Which, for me at least, is not a galloping shock. The Heath Ledger thing wasn’t a shock either (I figured they had partied, done drugs together and hooked up a few times). The cutting thing was much more obvious – Lindsay’s arms have looked torn up for a while. Hear the tape at Radar here, if you’re not too disgusted, and here’s Radar’s report:

In another glimpse into the twisted life of Lindsay Lohan, her parents Michael and Dina argued over how bad the situation with their daughter was, and Dina admitted that Lindsay had been cutting herself. The shocking bombshell is revealed in the recorded audio tape exclusively obtained by RadarOnline.com of a phone conversation between Dina and Michael, where the two blame each other for Lindsay’s dire situation.

Michael is talking with Dina, telling her that he represents the bad things in her life and Dina interrupts him, saying “Her cutting herself and hurting herself? Yeah, it’s bad Michael, it’s bad.” Lindsay has been photographed over the years and recently with scars on her wrists, a sign of the cutting, which is a desperate cry for help from the troubled starlet.

As Dina has said in previous recorded conversations, Lindsay has suffered from the treatment she received from her father, even going so far as to sleep with Dina when she’s at her house because she is so fearful. “I know that it’s going to happen,” Dina responds to Michael when he says “If something happens,” and Dina continues “I will feel it’s all your fault, that’s how I will feel, it’s not about me.”

In the 2008 call Michael doesn’t accept any blame for Lindsay’s situation, telling Dina “I will feel like it’s everyone else’s fault.”

Dina denies Michaels’ insistence that Lindsay wants to see him in the call, telling her ex-husband: “Michael, she doesn’t want to see you right now.”

The Lohan family war exploded when Michael released the tapes of his daughter’s desperate cry for help. He told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview that he is doing so to get Lindsay the help she needs and get his troubled daughter into rehab. “I admit, I’m being a bit selfish in releasing the tapes,” he told us. “But I’m tired of being lied about. I’m tired of Dina and others making me out to be someone I’m not, so now I’m going to prove to the world who the real liars are.”

[From Radar]

I asked this yesterday, but I’ll repeat it again today – if Dina was and is so convinced that Michael is this horrible, abusive, disgusting bastard (and it’s just a hop, skip and a jump away from being the kind of douche who would tape their conversations), why does Dina continue to talk to Michael? Why are they even conversing on the phone? If Michael’s the one to call Dina, why doesn’t she just say, “Nothing to say, D-ckweed” and hang up. Or am I just thinking about what I would say to Michael, after I screamed “toxic parrot!” at him?

Here’s Lindsay Lohan on Robertson Blvd. in West Hollywood, CA on November 10, 2009. Her arms are covered, and in one shot it looks like she’s trying to duck down from the cameras. Credit: Fame.