Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are going to commit the ultimate relationship crime. He’s getting a tattoo of her image, and they’re telling people about it. If you’re going to get a tattoo as a reminder of your four month long relationship the least you could do is keep quiet about it to avoid future embarrassment.

The socialite, reality TV personality, and sex-tape star reveals that Good Charlotte rocker Madden is planning to have an image of her etched on his heavily-tattooed torso.

But Hilton isn’t allowed to return the compliment.

She explains, “He is going to get one of me but he won’t let me get one. He doesn’t like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure.”

Contact Music

Benji likes that Paris looks ‘pure’. I hear there’s a video circulating around where she looks very, very pure while she performs oral sex on another man. Just in case you wanted to see Paris at her most pure.

In case you thought that Paris and Benji couldn’t get anymore annoying, it turns out they want to make beautiful music together. Unfortunately that isn’t a euphemism. Benji is helping Paris record a theme song for her new reality series, My New BFF.

“Benji and I have been working hard on it,” she said. “He’s helping me write the lyrics for the song and then I’ll sing it, too.”

The couple, who’ve been dating for four months, are laying down the track at a studio located, conveniently enough, in her Beverly Hills mansion.

Premiering later this year, My New BFF will follow the former Simple Life star as she chooses a new shopping buddy from 20 contestants.

Hilton also plans to start working on the follow-up to her 2006 debut CD Paris. “I’ll have another album come out, for sure,” she told E! News. “I just don’t know when yet. I only have the summer off, then I’ll be taping another season of BFF. But an album is something I’ll do.”

People

I can’t believe that Paris thinks her singing career is going to be so successful that it justifies building a studio in her home. Why not just keep the room to store unsold stocks of her hair extension line?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Benji recently shaved his head, probably after some pictures that came out of him without his hat sunning on a deck with Paris. He had a big bald spot that he was hiding under hats, so he decided to shave it off. Good move, Benji!

Benji Madden and Paris Hilton are shown on 6/27/08 at “‘The Good Life’ photographs by Murray Garrett, held at the Photographers gallery” in LA. Paris, Nicky and winners of a competition from Paris’ reality show are shown shopping on Robertson Boulevard on 6/28/08, thanks to WENN.

Once every 123,383,384 days Paris Hilton thinks about someone besides herself. Okay I know the math doesn’t really work out there, but you get my point. It’s a damn rare occasion. Paris recently donated some cash to Childrens Hospital Los Angeles – I know! Shocking, right? The once-in-a-lifetime occasion of Paris being kind and thinking about other people has finally come! Well, no. Because the first thing she did after that was issue a glowing press release.

“I am so happy and fortunate to announce my support for Childrens Hospital Los Angeles,” Hilton said in a statement. “The children I have met through my [involvement] at Childrens Hospital have truly touched my heart.”

The 27-year-old celebutante started volunteering at the hospital following her release from jail after serving 23 days for DUI. Proceeds from the August launch of her eponymous clothing line at the West Hollywood boutique Kitson also went to the kids, some of whom were at the party to fete the arrival of Hilton’s collection of relatively affordable casual wear.

“The fabulous new hospital facilities at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles will provide a caring, healing environment for children and their families for many years to come,” she continued, “and I am proud to make a donation and lend my name to the fundraising effort to help children who are facing terribly serious illnesses.”

[From E! News]

Yeah, so her involvement was court ordered. Obviously it wasn’t court ordered that Paris donate money, but I’m guessing she probably hasn’t done a whole lot with the hospital from the time her forced volunteer work ended and the time she gave them some cash.

E! gloriously notes that philanthropy runs in Paris’ genes. Her grandfather Barron Hilton was named as the No. 1 giver of 2007 by the Chronicle of Philanthropy. His father, Hilton founder Conrad, left the bulk of his estate to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation (which was later contested). Barron has publicly stated that 97 percent of his multibillion dollars will go to the foundation – with the remaining three percent being divvied up by his eight children and many, many grandchildren, of which Paris is one.

Something tells me Paris’ good deed has less to do with her the more dignified members of her family and their long history of philanthropy, and more to do with the person she cares most about: Paris Hilton.

Here’s Paris running errands in Sunset Plaza in Los Angeles yesterday. Don’t you sashay around like this on your way to pick up some clothes? Images thanks to WENN.

The newest issue of my favorite gossip rag, The National Enquirer, has an amusing story claiming that Paris Hilton has quit smoking pot because she was eating too much when she was high. They say that “Paris gets stoned all the time” and eats like crazy. She supposedly started noticing that her clothes were tight and decided that she needed to give up the herb if she didn’t want to buy a new wardrobe. Maybe she also got sick of people calling her pregnant after she had a pot-induced meal:

[Paris Hilton] became concerned recently because her clothes have been growing tight and she knew she was gaining weight. But it didn’t take her long to figure out why - Paris smokes a lot of dope and gets the munchies!

So now she’s decided to throw away the pipe to avoid the munchies and get back to her ideal weight, The Enquirer has learned exclusively.

“Paris gets stoned all the time!” said the source. “She will go to the bathroom to smoke at different Hollywood clubs, or sometimes she’ll just light up in the VIP area…

Paris showed up at a small house party once complaining that she ate a huge bag of chips before the party because she was stoned.”

And a Hollywood source told The Enquirer that when Paris couldn’t get into certain dresses she loved recently, she decided to give up smoking dope.

“That was it for Paris,” said the source. “She said the munchies were making her eat too much and she couldn’t believe how much weight she had gained.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 30, 2008]

In an interview in June of last year after she got out of jail, Paris told Larry King that she’s never even tried drugs despite the vast photographic evidence to the contrary. She also said she’s had ADD her entire life and that she’s been on medication for it since she was young. One of the side effects of the common ADHD drug Adderall is weight loss as it acts as a stimulant and suppresses the appetite. If Paris has quit smoking pot, she’s probably back to eating like the bird face that she is.

In related news, Paris Hilton’s pitch line on the website for her new line of hair extensions is “Everyone should get a chance to be me. That’s why I created the world’s hottest hair extensions. Choose from 10 fabulous shades and you will be a clip away from hotness.” She’s truly delusional if she thinks that people emulate her enough to spend $79 on fake hair. [via BellaSugar]

Here are photos of Paris smoking pot, and a link to The Smoking Gun’s compilation of her references to various drugs unearthed in the videos found in her storage locker and made public on “Paris Exposed.” The contents of her purse were also photographed in October, 2006 and a bag of what looked like pot was visible.

When Paris Hilton scrawled over her myspace page how much she loved Benji Madden and gushed about him in interviews, I thought that she was a nightmare girlfriend and that it would soon be over. As time has gone on - the pair have been together for four months - and they didn’t break up, I realized that Benji must really, really like Paris. Or he would have kicked her to the curb weeks ago.

Yesterday he did an interview with Ryan Seacrest, and talked about how happy he is with her.

“I’m so beyond happy,” Benji, 29, said of his hot relationship with Paris Hilton. “Of course,” he added, “when you’re that happy, you think about everything.”

When asked if he worries about having kids, Benji replied: “Not at all. I mean, she’s my best friend” – prompting Joel to interject sarcastically, “I can see it tomorrow, ‘Benji’s Ready for Fatherhood.’ ”

Continued Benji: “I’ve never been so happy. Nothing worries me in life anymore. When you find that best friend, that love, all your worries kind of go away. Your work gets better and everything you do, you have someone supporting you, and she’s that for me. I’ve never been supported so much.”

In his repeated refrain, Benji said, “I’m a lucky guy. Her family is so nice to me. And now the four of us, we all … it’s great, you know.”

Could that possibly mean a double wedding? Responded both bothers, in unison: “No.”

People

I don’t know who had the idea for the double wedding. I think twins get very tired of doing everything together, and Joel and Benji work together already. For most women a wedding day is the only day you get to wear an ludicrously expensive frock that you will only wear once, that trails on the floor. You get to be the center of attention all day, eat cake after dieting to fit into said dress, and go home with a heap of presents and the love of your life. Why would you want to share the spotlight with another bride, even if they are your best friend?

I know not all brides go down the route of wearing an enormous, expensive white dress, but Paris is obviously that kind of girl. And we’re likely to be subjected to every detail of her wedding and subsequent divorce from Benji.

Note by Celebitchy: This is the second time Benji has called into the Ryan Seacrest show and publicly proclaimed his love for Paris. He first discussed their relationship in early May, calling her “wife material” and saying he wanted to get on a rooftop and yell “I’m in love!”

Benji Madden and Paris Hilton are shown at Tao nightclub on 6/7/08, thanks to WENN.

Paris Hilton is easily one of the worst pet owners in the world. Whereas most women collect and disregard shoes, Paris does the same with animals – and doesn’t treat them a whole lot better than that pair of heels you found underneath your dresser.

Paris owns two ferrets, a goat, something she calls a “big ass cat,” (we’re still not sure exactly what kind of cat it is… or how big an ass it has) a chinchilla, and so many dogs and cats that even Paris doesn’t seem to remember how many she actually owns. Or she just can’t count that high. She also used to owns a kinkajou, but it may or may not have been taken away by authorities.

Paris’ animal acquiring has deservedly earned her quite the bad reputation – not just on the internet, but among pet stores as well. It seems that the employees of The Puppy Store in Los Angeles must have seen the “Tell Paris No!” website, whose mission is to dissuade the heirhead from collecting more animals that she won’t bother to care for.

The Puppy Store on Melrose Avenue in LA deserves an ASPCA award. Over the weekend, spies said, Paris Hilton was on her way to a photo shoot and “wanted a puppy in the picture with her so it would look cuter.” Hilton waltzed in and tried to buy a Yorkie but was rebuffed by an employee who said it was clearly “an impulse buy.” Hilton, who has a menagerie of neglected animals, went “ballistic,” we’re told. “She started screaming, ‘I love my puppies! I want my baby!’” - but to no avail. The store had no comment.

[From Page Six]

I cannot tell you how much I love the mental image of Paris Hilton having a full-out temper tantrum a la Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I pray, pray, pray that she fell to the floor and started kicking and screaming and thrashing around. What adult stars screaming “I want my baby!” And just as a technicality, I will point out that it’s not her baby until she actually walks away with the dog. Makes you realize just how much Paris considers everything she wants to be hers. It also really makes you wonder exactly how she’ll treat her real babies when she has them.

Hopefully more pet stores will hop on board and refuse to sell Paris Hilton any animals. And then the ASPCA will invade her house, tactical ATF style. Some sort of breaking down the door should definitely be involved. Followed by a dramatic seizing of animals, and Paris being dragged away kicking and screaming.

Here’s Paris and the rest of the Hilton clan out for Father’s Day at Mr. Chows in Beverly Hills on Sunday. Header of Paris trying to eat a puppy. But according to the caption, she’s “enjoying the sunshine on Malibu beach with her new Chihuahua and a number of other dogs” last July. Images thanks to WENN.

I always thought that the Charlotte character in ‘Sex and the City’ was a little unreal – I don’t personally know any woman that dives into relationships like a kamikaze pilot looking for marriage and babies right now.

Then Paris Hilton appeared on my radar. She’s got to be the girl bachelors have nightmares about. She’s been gushing all over the media about how much she loves her boyfriend Benji Madden (of 2 ^½ months) and how they’re going to get married. Now, she’s talking babies with her man, and she’s given him a deadline.

The hotel heiress has been dating the Good Charlotte rocker for three months, but already has marriage and babies on her mind.

And although she insists she is not currently pregnant, Hilton admits she hopes to be with child in 12 months’ time.

She tells Britain’s Heat magazine, “I do want a baby. Pretty soon. Not yet because I’m so busy, but next year.”

San Francisco Chronicle

This isn’t the first time that Paris has talked about wanting a baby, although I’m still a little unsure of whether she knows what having a baby entails. I’m not just talking about the actual childbirth part, which is disturbing enough in itself, but does she know they grow up? They don’t actually stay all little and cute, they turn into toddlers who have tantrums (if you have one that doesn’t I’ll trade you mine), then into children who pick their nose. And spend a lot of time with their hands down their pants. Then they turn into teenagers and continue doing all of these things, as well as hating you.

Paris, at 27, seems a little young to feel that biological clock ticking. I’m also not sure she’s ready for a baby. It was in 2004 that she lost her little dog Tinkerbell and plastered the world with ‘Lost Dog’ signs, only to discover she’d left the pooch at her grandparent’s place.

How will she care for the 18 dogs she has along with a baby?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Paris Hilton is shown outside a “medical center” (oh no!) in LA yesterday, thanks to WENN.

George Clooney supposed has an interview in the latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine in which he says semi-rude but true things about Paris Hilton. His rep says that’s not really what he said, and that he was making a joke and it was taken out of context. It’s hard to decipher exactly what Rolling Stone claims he said, but it sounds like he’s saying that Paris Hilton thinks she’s successful just because she’s making money and that’s not the case:

The Michael Clayton star was said to have slammed the hotel heiress during an interview with America’s Rolling Stone magazine, allegedly calling Hilton a “wannabe” and ridiculing her acting talents.

The star was quoted as saying, “There is a funny thing that happens when you are a young actor. You equate financial success and getting jobs with whether or not you are good at it.
“And it still happens. That’s why there is Paris Hilton. Now I’m in trouble with Paris Hilton.”
But the Hollywood hunk’s representative states the comments were taken out of context, insisting the quips used in the article were not connected.

Clooney’s spokesman Stan Rosenfield says, “He made a long joke in between those two quotes. Making fun of himself. Two different statements are being used that were barely connected.”
Rosenfield adds, “And (they were) certainly not the spirit of the interview.”

[From Contact Music]

The thing is, Clooney said almost the same thing about Paris Hilton being a talentless wannabe last year. He said “You can only get so far without discernible talent - then you either work, or use cheap publicity tricks to keep the public’s attention. Paris has no reason to complain if she is on the end of bad publicity.”

He’s basically saying that you can make money and be all over the place but that doesn’t mean you have talent, and it sounds like he’s been trying to make this point for a while. He’s right, and he should just admit to ripping on Paris. Maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that this time, but he used Paris as an example of that exact same concept last year.

Here’s Paris, Nicky, their mom and the winner of a Mother’s Day contest shopping on Robertson yesterday. She definitely knows a lot of publicity tricks. Clooney is shown on 5/6/08 after his birthday party at Bungalow 8. He turned 47. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Nothing is as classy as cheap-ass hair extensions. The only comparable thing I can think of is Paris Hilton. So what makes more sense than Paris Hilton hawking cheap-ass hair extensions? Being the savvy businesswoman that she is, Paris seemed to figure this out, and decide to capitalize on it. I imagine the idea happened something like this:

[Paris sitting on a hot-pink settee with a zebra skin rug on the floor] “You know, I’m pretty cheap and tacky. What could I promote that’s also cheap and tacky?” [Paris looks around the room, befuddled.] “Damn it [insert least-favorite Paris Hilton animal’s name here at whim] stop chewing on my hair extensions!” And then it all came to her, in a moment of pure, inspired magic.

Mike Spinozzi, president of Sally Beauty Supply, at a press conference held on Thursday, trumpeted the partnering of Hilton, with her inescapable media profile, and Sally Beauty, which considers itself the world’s largest specialty retailer of professional beauty and hair care products. Spinozzi said, “It’s a powerful combination and we’re excited to work with Paris. She’s business-savvy and very creative.”

Hilton added, “I’ve been wearing hair extensions for years and have tried other products that didn’t work. When I started using DreamCatchers from my line I started using the best quality and styles. I’m always coming up with new ideas because I love coming up with fun hairstyles.”

Available in 10 shades, Clipin-Go by Paris Hilton was designed to be an “affordable yet chic” line of hair extensions. Although the extensions will only be available in an 18-inch length, the company plans to do variations of the look with different colors, lengths and styles.

[From Women’s Wear Daily]

What they really meant to say was, “We’re trying to sell some cheap hair crap. Paris is cheap, and full of crap. It’s the perfect union.” I’m always surprised that associating Paris Hilton with a product is a good business idea, but apparently it is, because people keep doing it. And every so often, some article will come out showing how much money she’s made just licensing her name and endorsing products. And in that moment, I seethe with envy. Then I remember that I don’t look or act like Paris Hilton. And I feel a lot better.

Paris also sported quite a two-banded diamond ring on the ring finger of her left hand at the event. Paris said that the ring was just a present from boyfriend Benji Madden, and not an engagement ring.

Still, the duo have already discussed marriage. “We want to stay together forever,” she said Thursday. “I wouldn’t do a Vegas [wedding]. I don’t know where or when but I do want it to be romantic.”

Betting that Nicole_Richie and Joel Madden will beat them to the altar, Hilton doesn’t mind following in her best friend’s footsteps another way, as well. “Nicole is our first friend to have a baby … Seeing Harlow, it really makes me want one. I’ve always wanted to have a baby.”

Until then, she’s content on practicing her mommy skills on Harlow. “I’m definitely ‘Aunt Paris.’ ” As for Benji? “He’ll babysit. I can tell he’s gonna be an incredible father.

[From People]

What an incredibly frightening thought. Paris Hilton procreating. She can’t even keep track of her dogs. I wonder if she understands that you don’t just go to a baby store and pick the cutest one out of the cage like she does with her pets.

Here’s Paris unveiling her new hair extension line in New York yesterday. E! made a comment that she looked “like a glistening statue,” and several sites have wondered about her appearance. All I can say is that it was pretty damn hot and muggy here yesterday. Most of us looked that shiny. And you know I wouldn’t defend Paris Hilton without reason. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Paris Hilton had no less than 85,000 wannabes try out to be her new lap dog/sidekick/best friend. What do you have to do to win a place on the reality show? Have a hair color that flatters Paris?

About 85,000 people are seeking a chance to become Paris Hilton’s new sidekick on the hotel heiress’s new reality television show, I Wanna Be Paris’ New Best Friend, People magazine reported today.

The contestants will have to overcome a series of tests before Hilton decides who deserves to be the 27-year-old starlet’s new BFF, or “best friend forever.”

Sydney Morning Herald

I kind of doubt that Paris will stay friends with the unfortunate girl (or boy) for long, because she doesn’t seem to understand why they want to be her friend. It’s for the fame and glory! Paris has this to say about how hard it is for her to meet genuine people.

“It is hard meeting new people. Most of my friends I’ve had my entire life, like obviously my sister and Nicole Richie have been with me forever. So when I meet new people, I’m always a little wary of the reason they may want to become my friend. I can usually just tell by when we’re out in public and there’s paparazzi around, I see, you know, who gets a little bit too excited or whatever. I can tell how those people are.”

Associated Press

Paris, who apparently puts on her dumb blond persona for entertainment, says that she doesn’t want a friend who is only with her for the publicity, but is auditioning friends to be on a television show with her. How long do you think it will take for her to boot her new sidekick to the curb? I give it about 45 minutes after filming.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are shown outside a medical center on Friday. Please don’t let her be pregnant! Thanks to WENN.

Paris Hilton has been blacklisted from the Moscow Hyatt after she wrote “Paris Moscow 2008″ on the wallpaper as part of photo shoot she was doing in a suite there. The suite costs $16,000 a night and Paris was fined $9,000 for damages and will never be allowed back. Starpulse quotes a “hotel spokesperson” as saying “Miss Hilton ruined the wallpaper in the luxury suite. In such a case the client automatically goes on the black list.”

There’s a pretty exclusive Hilton in Moscow so it’s not like Paris won’t have somewhere to stumble back to after a night of heavy vodka consumption. You have to give props to the Hyatt people for saying she’s banned, but there’s also a kind of status in publicly stating that Paris Hilton is not welcome at your establishment. Alexander McQueen said that he didn’t want her at the opening of his new store in LA, but he didn’t exactly say he wouldn’t take her money if she shopped there.

Meanwhile Paris is still talking about her new boyfriend Benji Madden to anyone who will listen. She gave details of their two month anniversary celebration to People Magazine, and said she made dinner and they watched movies at home. As for their relationship she said “I think the way it works so well is that we’re best friends and we totally trust each other and we’re in love and we have an amazing time together.” I give it two more months before Benji is banning Paris from his establishment, too.

Paris and Benji had lunch at the Ivy yesterday and then went shopping. Thanks to WENN for these photos.