Holy grossness. I have heard some weird things in my day, but this absolutely takes the cake. N.E.R.D singer/rapper/producer Pharrell Williams has told the Mirror that he doesn’t like his old tattoos. Nearly every inch of his body is covered, and he seems to find some of it juvenile. Not tattoos as a concept, but the art he’s chosen. So what’s a guy to do? Have major laser tattoo removal? Why do that when you can have someone GROW SOME NEW SKIN for you. Yes I had to write it in caps, because that’s the hysterical/freaked out tone in which I say it.

Laser tattoo removal? That’s so yesterday, according to Pharrell Williams. The hotshot rapper and producer has decided to have new skin grown in a test tube just so that he can change his tats. Williams says he’s prepared to drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on the space age technology to get rid of his current crop of tattoos.

“There’s an institute called the Wake Forest Institute in North Carolina for Regenerative Skin Treatment,” he told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper. “It’s going to be pricey, but … it’s worth it. I got fire on my arms, I don’t need fire on my arms! I’m a grown man.”

Explaining how the icky-sounding process works, Williams said, “It’s basically like getting a skin graft, but you’re not taking skin from your a– or legs - these guys actually grow the skin for you.” Contemplating his new blank canvas, he added, “When it has healed you can go get whatever tattoo you want.”

[From the Daily News]

Raise your hand if you’re totally and completely freaked out. Oh good, I see it’s all of you. I cannot even put words to this. It’s not offensive or anything, but I have this really gross mental image of a Petri dish with a hunk of skin growing on it. And somehow the thought of skin that’s not attached to a body is just too much for me to wrap my brain around.

Pharrell is clearly willing to go to some pretty extreme measures to start fresh. I can sorta understand why this idea might be appealing, as laser tattoo removal still leaves a visible scar. I don’t know much about it, but I can imagine it’d be a huge pain to do for someone who’s as heavily tattooed as Pharrell says he is. But I can’t imagine having new skin put on would feel a whole lot better. I thought about looking it up to find out, but I am way, way, way too afraid there might be pictures. So I’ll assume it’s safe to say Pharrell is really serious if he’s willing to go through all this.

Here’s Pharrell Williams with N.E.R.D with performing live at Roter Salon in Berlin on June 27th. I don’t think he’s all that tattooed – personally I’d move on to the chest before I’d start slapping on new skin. Images thanks to WENN.

If you’re anything like me, you were probably sitting around, looking at your wall, and thinking, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the richest rap mogul of them all?” If your mirror said Jay-Z, you should give it some Windex. Jay-Z was just named the richest rapper by Forbes.com. I thought they were supposed to spend their time talking about financial markets, stocks, and making people panic over real estate. But it seems that lately, Forbes is spending the majority of their time coming out with “The richest…” lists. Last week they had “The richest bald man” and “The richest one legged farmer.” Okay not really, but I would read Forbes a lot more if they did. Okay not really.

“Jay-Z wins all around, says Forbes.com. He’s got Beyonce on his arm _ and more millions than 50 Cent and Diddy. The rap icon, aka Shawn Carter, is No. 1 on the site’s list of “Hip-Hop Cash Kings,” based solely on 2006 income. He banked an estimated $34 million, Forbes.com said Thursday.

“Jay-Z, president and CEO of Def Jam Recordings, released his 11th studio album, ‘Kingdom Come,’ which sold around 2 million copies. Jay-Z, 37, is also part owner of the New Jersey Nets and has endorsement deals with Budweiser, Hewlett-Packard and General Motors.”

[From Forbes.com]

It might be good to be Jay-Z – yeah you have a lot of money, and Beyonce at your beck and call singing that “Cater 2U” song (blech) – but you’d also have to deal with that crazy mother of hers, Tina Knowles. You know, that lady that’s always trying to drape people in the fur of live puppies? Well her clothing line is one of the few out there that still uses fur, and to me it’s all the same thing. Who else makes a lot of money and doesn’t come wit the bizarre mother?

“Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson ranks second with an estimated $32 million. The 31-year-old rapper-businessman oversees his G-Unit record label, clothing line, ring tones and other enterprises, and has sold more than 11 million albums. His latest record, ‘Curtis,’ is due out Sept. 11.

“Diddy (real name: Sean Combs) placed third with an estimated $28 million. A fashion plate, he has a clothing line, Sean John, and heads Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment and its record label. Diddy, 37, is also host of MTV’s ‘Making the Band’ series.

“Rounding out the top five are Timbaland ($21 million) and Dr. Dre ($20 million). They’re followed by Eminem ($18 million); Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, Pharrell Williams and Scott Storch (all $17 million); Ludacris and T.I. (both $16 million); Outkast and Lil Jon (both $14 million); Ice Cube ($13 million); Jermaine Dupri and Swizz Beatz (both $12 million); Chamillionaire and The Game (both $11 million); and Young Joc ($10 million).”

[From Forbes.com]

You could be at the bottom of that group and still be doing pretty well for yourself. I have no idea who Swizz Beatz (sounds like the name of a cheap watch) or any of the guys after him are, but I’m pretty sure I could learn to love them, given the chance.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Jay-Z and Beyonce at the Black and White Ball. Header image of Jay-Z at Giant Magazine’s celebration of Rihanna’s new album on June 3rd. Images thanks to PR Photos.