The open animosity between former spouses Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards just keeps boiling. After Denise went to court to gain the right to feature their two young daughters on her upcoming reality show, Sheen and fiancé, Brooke Mueller, have gone on the offensive, urging people to boycott the show and calling it exploitive. Now, Sheen is placing the blame squarely on the tiny head of the show’s executive producer, Ryan Seacrest.

Charlie Sheen is so furious with Ryan Seacrest for producing his ex-wife’s upcoming reality show that he wants to punch the TV host’s lights out–and that’s no “Idol” threat, say sources.

The “Two and a Half Men” star has been locked in a bitter feud with Ryan ever since Seacrest and E! Entertainment signed a deal with Denise Richards for a summertime series and her two small children with Sheen, Sam, 3, and Lola, 2.

“Charlie opposed this thing right from the start,” a pal told the Enquirer. “He thinks it’s wrong for Denise and Ryan to be exploiting the kids.”

Charlie, 42, was so livid her took the matter to court, but a judge gave the project a green light. After that, Charlie — who has been friends with Ryan, 33, for more than 12 years– called the “Idol” host several times, trying to convince him to stop working on the series.

But Ryan refused to budge, saying, “I’m sorry, but this isn’t about friendship, it’s about business.”

Charlie screamed at him: “How could you do this to me?” said the source. “How can you allow my children to be used as pawns like this just so you and Denise can make money off them? The two of you are despicable! You are the scum of the earth, lower than low! And you better watch out, pal. Right now, I’m so mad I could punch your lights out!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, March 3, 2008]

The article goes on to say that Sheen’s publicist denies that this conversation ever happened. But I, for one, hope that this time, The Enquirer is right. I’d love to see Charlie wipe the floor with Ryan Seacrest, although it wouldn’t really be a fair fight. I’m so sick of Seacrest and his ridiculous antics. He’s been humping America’s leg for seven years as the host of “Idol,” and his ego seems to be out of control, as evidenced by his completely inappropriate interviewing skills during the red carpet segment of the Academy Awards.

The real victims in this whole situation are Sam and Lola. There has not been a single indication in these girls’ young lives that they have any desire to be in the public eye– in fact, every time Denise drags them to a movie premiere or event, they looks absolutely miserable. Why does she insist on thrusting them into the spotlight when they clearly do not want this kind of lifestyle?

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are shown below at An Evening with “Two and a Half Men” at The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences on 2/27/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Paris Hilton is going to get another reality show after The Simple Life ended following way too long a run and her film career ran its course. It’s going to be a show that will air on either MTV or VH1 and will “be about her searching for a new best friend,” according to a source quoted on US Weekly’s website. The unnamed source goes on to add in a sentiment reminiscent of the social issues that plagued us in Jr. High that “Paris is tired of the haters and she’s looking for someone new. She’s looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”

Of course a reality show will be the best venue for Paris to find a trustworthy buddy who will stick with her through thick and pharmacologically-maintained thin. It worked so well for her the last time.

Paris’ latest relationship sheds light on why she may need to turn to reality TV to find a fellow fame whore girlfriend. She’s been seen all over town with Benji Madden, the recently-single twin brother of Nicole Richie’s baby daddy, Joel Madden.

Paris and Nicole were said to have tentatively reunited after their long standing feud that had them filming scenes separately for the third season of The Simple Life. Their insincere make-up was caught on tape and used as promotion for the reality show, but it wasn’t too convincing. There were rumors that they were playing up their feud for publicity’s sake and were secretly staying friends behind the scenes, but it never seemed like there was much love lost between those two to me. Paris was a co-host at Nicole Richie’s baby shower, but was said to be miffed that Nicole supposedly gave away the expensive crib she gave her to charity.

Her new relationship with Benji Madden seems to be a dig at Nicole, but maybe Paris is just taking what she can get and using it for publicity. She seems to have made a very successful career out of doing that.

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are shown out shopping yesterday at Fred Segal. These pictures are credited to the same day, but somehow Paris is wearing two different outfits. I’m sure they’re still the same day. Thanks to Splash.

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora on a Hawaiian vacation in January, 2007
Denise Richards has a reality show on E! to promote, so she’s not above talking about Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear again even though her relationship with Sambora ended a year ago. Some people thought she was behind her neighbor and supposed friend Heather Locklear’s breakup with her husband of 11 years, Richie Sambora, about two years ago. Richards started dating Sambora shortly after his relationship with Locklear ended and it all looked a bit suspicious to the outside world. Richards said at the time that she wasn’t really best friends with Heather Locklear, and now she digging up that old dirt again to say that her friendship with Locklear had ended before she bedded Locklear’s husband, and that Locklear and Sambora were over by then too. Richards tried to set us straight about the love triangle no one remembers or even really cared about at the time in an exclusive interview with Access Hollywood.

Honestly I knew that that situation was not going to go over very well and was going to be in the press. I had no idea that it would blow up the way it did. The truth of the matter is that my friendship with Heather ended before Richie and I even started dating and that’s one thing that people, I don’t know if they knew or not. I never had an affair. I never cheated on Charlie. Richie never cheated on Heather, and if I was still friends with Heather I never would have

[Transcribed from video of Richards’ appearance on Access Hollywood, shown above via Redlasso]

JayBird reported last week about how Richards said that she initially “was going to take the high road” and not respond to all the negative reports in the press about her, but now that two years have passed she thinks it’s time for a reality show so that people can judge for themselves. She won a court battle with her ex husband, Charlie Sheen, to have their two young daughters appear on the show. Even though we know Sheen loves hookers and porn, and probably e-mails pictures of his peen to women, he’s coming off as the more mature and trustworthy party in their divorce and custody battle.

Now we can look forward to clips of Richards everyday life, spliced and packaged and available in bite-sized bits for our Internet viewing pleasure. If there’s anything that will make her look bad, it’s reality TV. She’s sounding super naive when she says that she thinks it will give her a chance to show people what she’s really like. She’s going to become a caricature so that the show has a cohesive story line. Maybe she’ll just be portrayed as a bland ditz, though, and not a crazy conniving one to boot.

Here’s the video of Richards on Access Hollywood:

Header image is of Denise and Richie’s Hawaiian vacation in January, 2007 and is from SplashNews. It is thought that he broke it off with her during that vacation.

I guess life for Jessica Simpson just isn’t worth living unless she has a camera in her face. The singer, who starred in the hit reality show “Newlyweds” on MTV along with her then-husband Nick Lachey, is currently entertaining the idea of coming back to TV with a new show on Country Music Television (CMT). “Newlyweds” pretty much revived Jessica’s lukewarm singing career- at least for one album. But after the show ended, and Nick and Jessica divorced, her career went back in the crapper again. Now, with a new country album in the works, perhaps Joe - er, I mean Jessica - thinks she can boost interest with another show, but her rep insists that it is not a reality show.

Jessica Simpson may be returning to the small screen.

She is in talks with CMT to star in a special chronicling her life as she records her upcoming country album.

“We have had exploratory talks with Jessica’s camp, but nothing has been confirmed or signed,” a CMT rep tells Usmagazine.com.

Her rep tells Us it is “not for a reality show. Jessica is finishing her country album in Nashville. They’re in talks with CMT for a special timed to air when the album is released, but there’s no truth whatsoever to there being a reality show.”

Simpson, 27, rose to fame on her MTV reality series Newlyweds, which tracked her day-to-day married life with Nick Lachey.

In a recent interview, her father Joe hinted that a reality show may be in the works.

“With Newlyweds, she let everyone into her world,” her father Joe told Entertainment Weekly.

“Then she had to shut the world out. Now she can open it up again so people can see, here’s a girl struggling with self-esteem and finding her way. Country music is about storytelling, after all.”

[From Us Weekly]

Hey, guess what? I’m perfectly comfortable not being let into Jessica’s world. Papa Joe and his daughter’s rep need to talk, because they’re saying two different things. Is it or isn’t it a reality show? It sounds like the CMT program has a “reality show” component to it, something like that horrible documentary about Posh and Beckham coming to the U.S. Except, instead of Posh and Beckham, it’s that stupid twit Jessica, eating tuna and thinking it’s chicken.

Like I needed another reason not to watch Country Music Television.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Jessica Simpson is shown at LAX airport on 2/11/08 after flying in with Tony Romo from a Hawaiian vacation. Thanks to WENN.

Brody Jenner of MTV faux reality show “The Hills” is one of the many guys to have hooked up with Lohan recently. And by recently I mean in the past month. The two were seen “all over each other” at two different clubs in NY at the end of January. Lest you think Jenner is special, Lohan made out with Jonathan Rhys Meyers at a club the following weekend and was said to have made plans to see him afterwards.

MTV is supposedly hot to get Lindsay to appear in a new reality show featuring Jenner after they heard that she was on his tail. The show will center around Jenner’s sordid love life and rumor has it that they really hope that Lohan will come on board. Given that her movie career is failing, she is said to be begging everyone for cash, and she’s hopefully getting paid carry that tobacco cessation product around, it seems like an opportunity she shouldn’t pass up.

MTV’s begging Brody to nail down Lindsay for a show they think could be even bigger than “The Hills.” Enthused one exec: “It’s a dream come true - better than a soap opera because it writes itself. Women fall down dead over the guy. If you think Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, and Lauren create drama, wait’ll you see Broday in action.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker’s column, February 18, 2008]

This sounds like it could be true. MTV has a lot of success with that Hills show, and since it’s a spin off of another show you could see them trying to create yet another arranged reality show from that same mold. Reality TV seems just about right for Lohan, too. She certainly courts the spotlight and it’s not like her film career is going to pick up anytime soon. Maybe the show should center around her, though. She seems to have enough constant drama in her life without needing to have it manufactured for her.

Lohan is shown trying to work that sideboob at the opening of Fendi’s redesigned boutique on Rodeo Drive last night. Isn’t she lovely?

Well it’s official: now that Denise Richards has legally established that she can put her daughters on television, E! has announced that she will be starring in her own reality show. Which, if it’s anything like Richards herself, will be elegant, understated, and totally non-crazy. It’s obviously not a big surprise that she’s getting a show, since Denise had to do battle with ex-husband Charlie Sheen to get the court’s permission to show daughters Sam and Lola. The two girls have never once been photographed looking anything less than totally miserable, so I’m guessing it’s going to be pretty sad to watch them in half hour stretches. Denise’s fabulous new show will focus on what a great single mom she is, and profile a famous woman’s struggle to get her life back on track after a nasty divorce. [Read all those lines in a bitchy/snarky/sarcastic tone].

The actress has signed with E! Entertainment Television and Ryan Seacreast Productions to star in a new unscripted series, “The Untitled Denise Richards Show” debuting this summer.

“I’ve been approached before [about a reality show] and the timing wasn’t right,” Richards told Seacrest on his early-morning radio show Tuesday. “It’s time for people to see what I’m really like.” Seacrest said he had to “beg” and “grovel” to persuade the actress to do the show, though Richards says she’s eager to team up with the “American Idol” host. Both Seacrest and Richards will serve as executive producers. “That girl has led an interesting life,” said Seacrest. ” ‘Interesting’ being the operative word.”

“There’s been so many negative things about me in the press, most of it not true,” said Richards. “I thought that, at the time, it was the right thing to do. Take the high road and keep quiet and keep things private … but it was very hard. I want the opportunity for people to see what I’m really like and judge for themselves.”

[From the Daily News]

Something tells me people are going to judge her boring, crazy, and/or empty, just based on the couple of times I’ve seen Denise Richards interviewed for about 38 seconds. She is super good at playing vapid pretty girls because she’s not a good actress, so it works. It was really hard to figure out who was the crazy one in her divorce from Charlie Sheen. Someone was clearly telling lies because they could not agree on a single point, no matter how insignificant. I think when all was said and done, it turned out they were both crazy, with Richards having the edge at slightly psychopathic. It sounds like Denise has found her true calling: I can think of no personality traits more suited to reality television.

Here’s Denise at the launch of Dr. Rey’s Shapewear on October 25th. Talk about going to the opening of an envelope. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Cher and her daughter, Chastity Bono, are pitching a new reality show in which they help gay people come out to their families. Chastity is out and proud, but Cher wasn’t so accepting of her daughter’s homosexuality when she was first confronted with the news. Cher kicked Chastity out of her NY apartment when her daughter came out to her, and it took her a while to come to terms with it. Chastity’s father, the late singer and Congressman Sonny Bono, was said to be immediately accepting and to have already realized that his daughter was gay. Cher and Chastity also denied reports in 1990 that claimed Chastity was a lesbian. She came out to the press in 1995.

Chastity is a heavier person who lost 23 pounds on Celebrity Fit Club 3 on VH1 last year but has since gained it back, according to reports. Unfortunately the Daily Mail article about their new reality show typically focuses on Chastity’s weight rather than the news that she may star in a positive show with her mom.

Chastity told The Advocate last year that she wasn’t too fond of reality TV shows, but that she understands how they work and is willing to play the game:

Bono says it’s strange to find herself a reality TV participant, since she hates most of what she’s seen on such shows. But she’s media-savvy enough to know how to convey the impression of “realness” without being entirely real. “There are certainly things that are, if not scripted, at least set up,” she divulges. “And there are often times when they have to do a take 2 of something.” Like maybe they didn’t catch her initial reaction to being told she’d have to run a race inside a giant inflatable hamster wheel. “So,” she says, “you have to repeat the shot of ‘Oh-my-gosh-it’s-a-giant-inflatable-hamster-wheel!’”

[From The Advocate and found at FindArticles.com]

Chastity has been sober for nearly two years, after having beaten an addiction to the painkiller Oxycontin, to which she became hooked while dealing with the grief from her longterm partner’s death.

61 year-old Cher has been having intestinal trouble, and has reportedly gone to the same clinic in Germany where Farrah Fawcett is having cancer treatment. Her reps deny that she has serious medical problems.

There is speculation that Cher is financially strapped after she auctioned off her expensive tchotchkes and is rumored to be considering yet another farewell stint in Vegas. It seems like that rumor is true given the fact that she’s trying to get a reality show. The Daily Mail reports that the title will be “Coming Out With Cher and Chas.”

Chastity Bono is shown at the Outfest Film Festival on 7/16/05, thanks to WENN. Cher is shown in April, 2006 in NY, thanks to Splash News.

Today’s NY Post is reporting that Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from Rick Salomon after two months because he went into a jealous rage after seeing pictures of her canoodling with slimy magician Criss Angel. The National Enquirer reports that these two careened toward inevitable splitsville after being unable to agree on the subject of their joint reality show, a rumor that Anderson has tried to quash. Which was it? I bet it was a little bit of both mixed up with a lot of immaturity.

Here is the NY Post’s take on their breakup, which is now temporarily on hold as they try to put the sharp tiny pieces of their fragile relationship back together: (Which would make their hands bleed, but I’m only going so far with this metaphor.)

Spies in Las Vegas say Anderson spent Dec. 8, the night before her final performance with magician Hans Klok, “cozying up to” publicity-loving illusionist Criss Angel at club LAX. Pictures were taken, gossip was spread - and Salomon “hit the roof when he found out Pam was hanging out with Criss while he was off at a poker tournament. They had a huge fight,” and Anderson filed for divorce a few days later.

[From The NY Post]

The Post quotes a friend who says that “Their relationship is so volatile [that] I’m sure this won’t be the last time [Pam] files,” but adds that she was just innocently hanging out with Criss and that nothing was going on there.

The National Enquirer’s take is that they were arguing over what focus their rumored reality show would take. Pam blogged that it was true that she was considering a reality show, but said that it would have focused on her professional life and not her family or kids or kids. Maybe that was true, but I have a tendency to believe the Enquirer’s version, because a show about Pam’s job as a magician’s assistant and celebrity who shows up to promote stuff sounds super boring:

Money is at the root of their problems, say insiders. The two have been quarreling over the details of a new reality show which will center on their lives…

Just last week the two had a huge blow-up when Rick tried to assume control over a deal for their proposed reality show, titled “Pam & Scum.” (Rick’s nickname is “Scum.”)

While Rick wanted the show to focus on his relationship with Pam and his gambling, Pam wanted their reality series to focus more on her life in Malibu with her two sons, says the insider.

“When Rick balked at that, Pam filed. She felt she was the marquee name, it was her show, and she’d do the negotiating.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 31, 2007]

Their reality show would have been called “Pam and Scum?” That sounds so catchy and appealing.

The Enquirer article goes on to say that they agree now on the subject of the reality series after Rick gave in to Pam’s ideas about how it should center only on her, and that they’re trying to get the E! Channel to pick it up.

Maybe E! passed, or maybe the show is still happening and Pam wants to keep it under wraps by denying it. We’ll have to see what happens.

Pam admitted that her relationship with Rick started when she had sex with him to pay off a $250,000 poker debt, so it’s not like they had the most auspicious beginning. She seems like the type who can’t handle normal relationship problems and just wants to get the hell out as soon as she faces any sort of challenge with her mate. In that case maybe she should get divorced - and never marry again. That way, she can walk away whenever she wants. If she was just leaving boyfriends and not husbands she wouldn’t get as much publicity though, so she probably would rather get divorced again and reap all the headlines that go along with it. As it is we’re talking about her and all she’s done lately is work on a Vegas magic show and star in “Blond and Blonder.”

Pamela Anderson’s Vegas show has finished its run, now she’s looking for a new venture for her, er, talents. Since she’s not much of an actress, more of a personality, it seems like the reality television phenomenon is just made for her. She and husband Rick Salomon are going to be in a Newlyweds style show.

The couple, married Oct. 6 in Las Vegas, will produce and star in their as-yet-untitled show, scheduled to premiere next year, according to a report in Us Weekly.

The show will center around their married life, including their partying at various Vegas clubs and, yes, their work with the homeless, according to the magazine.

Fox News

I guess the show hasn’t premiered yet, as it was only a month ago when Pam said she and Rick were “in every night, having sex.” While sex tapes might have been the order of the day for the couple previously, it seems they are going to keep that part of their life private. It’s just everything else they’re going to allow to be filmed for entertainment value.

I’m not sure why they’re keeping that part of their lives private - why not sell their show to a more questionable network, and just call it Newlyweds: When Sex Tape Stars Collide?

I wonder if Pamela and Rick will follow in the footsteps of other reality stars Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, or Hulk Hogan and wife Linda, and divorce shortly after the show finishes. I think that they’ll get divorced reality show or not, but hopefully they’ll show the divorce on the show. That would make for by far more entertaining viewing than parties and charity work.

Note by Celebitchy: We reported on this reality show rumor back in October, when The National Enquirer had a story that they got married just so they could pitch the show. They’re doomed, but maybe they realize that and want to cash in while they can.

Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon are shown at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino grand opening on 11/17/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

The Hogan family has done everything in their power to deflect blame for their son’s August, 2007 drag-racing accident that left his passenger, a young Marine, in a vegetative state for life. Instead of saying he’s deeply sorry and will live with the results of his careless actions that day for the rest of his life, 17 year-old Nick Hogan blogged excitedly about continuing his amateur racing “career,” and then asked us to “keep [his victim] John Graziano in your prayers.” When the Hogans issued a statement through their lawyer about the accident, they said they were “concerned” about Graziano, but also maintained that their son really wasn’t driving that fast, and made sure we knew that the guy who will no longer walk or talk thanks to him wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, anyway. At the beginning of this month Nick was arrested on several charges for that accident, including third-degree felony reckless driving, and is out on bail awaiting trial.

Now, like countless other reality show couples before them, The Hogans are divorcing, and I hope their asshole son Nick is cowering in a corner, sobbing uncontrollably. Hulk Hogan’s wife, Linda Marie Bollea, filed a petition for divorce from him after 23 years on Tuesday. Hulk Hogan, real name Terry Gene Bollea, was blindsided by the divorce, and was first informed by a newspaper that called for comment. He told the paper that his wife had been away for three weeks and that the news left him “shocked” and “off-guard”:

Reached by phone on Friday night, Terry Bollea said he had no idea his wife had filed for divorce. When informed during the call that the paperwork was submitted on Tuesday, Bollea said politely, “Thank you for the great information,” and hung up.

He called back about five minutes later.

“I’m kind of shocked,” he said. “You caught me off-guard. My wife has been in California for about three weeks. … Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me. … I just pulled over to the side of the road for five minutes to find out what was going on here.”

Asked whether he and his wife had discussed divorce, he said, “That’s my private business.”

Phone calls to Linda Bollea’s cell phone went unanswered on Friday night.

The couple first met in Los Angeles at a restaurant in 1983 and carried on a long-distance relationship for two years, according to the show’s Web site. They married in 1984 and Linda Bollea, a California native, moved to Tampa.

They had a daughter, Brooke, in 1988, and then Nick two years later, the Web site says.

“Linda also encourages her son Nick’s love of cars,” the Web site says. “When Nick was thirteen, Linda bought him a car to keep in the garage just to work on, now Nick is quite the car expert.”

[SPTimes.com]

A recently video came out showing Linda Bollea whooping it up while street racing in Florida as part of a documentary called “Vehicular Lunatics.” It was filmed prior to her son’s accident, but considering how they all responded to the charges I doubt much has changed.

The Hogans were shown on the verge of divorcing on their VH1 Reality Show, Hogan Knows Best, but they attended counseling together and reconciled. Like most reality show romances, that quick fix, captured and packaged for maximum drama, may have made for good television but the cameras probably did more harm than good.

The classy Hogan family is shown at the VH1 Big in ‘06 Awards on 12/2/06, thanks to PRPhotos.